BEGINNING UNLIMITED

2019-06-17T02:13:00.000-07:00

How do we make people feel welcome?

Monday 5th September 2016

As leadership we are struggling with how we as a church should welcome visitors and new people. So far we’ve avoided having a welcome team, in the thought that that somehow means that those not on the team can be ‘unwelcoming’ that week. It seems an obvious and fundamental part of church that all of us should be welcoming. However, we’ve got to recognise that some people are naturals at talking to those they don’t know, and some aren’t. Some genuinely delight in a roomful of strangers and finding out their stories. I fear many more people are like me, where a roomful of strangers is intimidating and daunting. We are also hearing that some members of church resent the fact that they want to catch up with their friends on a Sunday, not always talk to newbies, and we want friendships to grow, to flourish. We know that some church members are struggling to feel that they fit in, that they belong. So our challenge to the church is that in every gathering we should aim to have ten minutes of uncomfortableness. Ten minutes where we step beyond ourselves, what we need or want, and look to others. We will go and make small talk to someone we don’t yet know. But only for ten minutes. It is not a call to never speak to our friends. But an encouragement to always look outside ourselves.

It sounds achievable, even for me.

2019-06-06T22:58:00.000-07:00

We're hosting an open mic night in church tonight. There are going to be live bands (including an in-house unlimited band, also known as (don't ask!) 'The Organ Donors')' a BBQ and an early summer message from the Rev Helen! Slots are booking fast. It has always been a popular event. An easy way to connect with young people. I'm excited for what tonight will bring, whilst remembering events past.

Saturday 30th November 2013

Tonight saw possibly 100 young people in the church. Music seems to be such a part of young people’s lives. So many that we meet are either in a band or are friends with someone in a band. Tonight we simply opened up church and offered them a microphone. Cheekily we called it Live Lounge after the Radio 1 show. And the bands came and brought their supporters. Some of the music was amazing. Not all was to my taste, but then, it shouldn’t be. If it is appealing to me as a nearly forty-year-old then I’m guessing we’ve got it wrong. But it was about more than music. Every bit of available space in church was put to use to show the young people that they matter, that making them feel comfortable and welcome in our space was important to us. We had drinks, a nail bar that they thought was for pampering but was actually an excuse to be able to engage in conversation, games consoles projected onto the ceiling, giant garden games.

I spent most of the evening in the back room preparing hundreds of hot dogs. I can’t deny that the smell was appalling. Half way through the evening food was shared around, and there was a brief moment where James told them why we were doing all of this. That actually, unashamedly, this was all about Jesus. Of course, some left and others switched off. But more, I think, were intrigued. Several asked for prayer from the team, and the team then had the very great privilege of helping these young people encounter God. Some young people learned, perhaps for the first time, that God is not distant and apart, looking down from his seat on a fluffy white cloud. He is right here with them now. And He knows them and He loves them.

For the young people impacted by tonight, they still have a journey ahead of them. We are grateful to be able to journey with them.

Friday 27th November 2015

It’s good to be able to laugh at ourselves. As a church we take God very seriously, ourselves not so much! Because of that atmosphere, that it’s all right to give it a go, everything doesn’t have to be perfect. Tonight I did give it a go. I put aside what other people might think, whether I was good enough. I just gave it a go, with the knowledge that if I did my best, then no matter what happened, that was all God asked of me. Oh, and not to give myself a hard time if it didn’t live up to my own standards of perfection. So I took a slot at Live Lounge. We knew that this time there weren’t as many bands coming as usual, so Pete had encouraged anyone who could to prepare a song so that we could fill the gaps when the mic was empty. I’ve never wanted to before, but today it felt that it could be fun. So I spent the afternoon messing around with electric harp and voice, working out my arrangement of a pop song, and tonight I performed. It wasn’t perfect. I’m glad it wasn’t recorded. But I did my best. I had fun. That was all God wanted from me tonight.

Internship

2019-06-05T08:55:00.001-07:00

Follow this link for the information: https://jmp.sh/VJFUfzI

I never took gap year. I didn't have anything I particularly wanted to do and I was worried that with no specific plans I would end up wasting both the year and a lot of money. Perhaps I missed out by not being brave enough? I'm excited that yet again as a church we are looking for an intern to start in September 2019. It seems a long time ago that our first intern Jack started...

Monday 3rd September 2012

We have an intern! An amazing guy called Jack has come to work with us for the year. From a chance conversation I had over a cup of coffee in March we have got to this point. We can’t pay him anything. We are offering him theological training of sorts, and his bus fare. That’s all. Anything extra he is earning with his job in a café. It will only give him pocket money. He is full of enthusiasm and new ideas. Fresh energy and vision. There will be times when he can’t get the bus home, when we finish too late and the journey is too far. Then he is coming to stay with us. I’m not sure about sharing my space. It blurs my boundaries between work and family. I’m not sure I will be very hospitable, at all hours of the day and night, but I want to be. I want him to feel welcome. I want him to feel at home with us.

Our internship has developed and I think improved over time. Every year looks different and is tailored to the person. One size (or one job) simply does not fit all. As a church we passionately believe that we are all created uniquely by God, we all have different strengths and weaknesses, and as such have our own specific races to run (Hebrews 12:1-2), and so the job evolves each year. The year is based on both missional experience and practical service. An intern will find themselves involved in schools work, PSHE lessons, mentoring, cafés. They will constantly finding themselves at the edge of their faith, not sure of what to say, and having to trust fully in God, knowing that He has promised to always be with them. But perhaps more excitingly to me is the emphasis on practical service. I have found it to be true that the real test of my discipleship has been in the mundane tasks. Clearing up chairs at 10.30pm when the building has emptied, hoovering an empty church, washing up mugs. Not the jobs you may imagine when you think of church leadership. Not perhaps jobs you want to do. And yet if you learn to perform the small things with a cheerful and grateful heart, this attitude will impact every other area of your life.

For whoever comes to join us in September I am confident that it will be an amazing experience. It will be harder than they ever expected. I'm sure it won't be wasted.

2019-06-01T02:06:00.000-07:00

Tonight our church will be open between 12-3am, serving tea and toast to young people out in Exeter. Here are some extracts from the early days...

Sunday 28th April 2013

For a long time James has wanted to start a night café. He is just unable to ignore the fact that Mary Arches Church is located opposite two nightclubs. This is where young people come and, if we are serious about going to meet them where they are, then this is where we need to be.

Last November James joined Street Pastors for possibly their wettest evening of the year. He returned absolutely shattered. Tired, yes. But more than that. He was shocked by what he had seen. The level of drunkenness, of violence. The broken bottles, the simmering violence, the language. Young people incapable and vulnerable after drinking too much. Abandoned by friends, either knowingly or unknowingly. Street Pastors have long been using our back room as a prayer base for their evenings spent in and around the town, but James saw the need for so much more.

So today church was opened up between 12 and 3am. Tea and toast were on offer. A place to be warm and safe. Vomit kits and buckets were also freely available. To those standing in the queue to get into the nightclub, the church looked inviting. It had music and lights. We are not a club, but we don’t look like a church either. They were intrigued, and they visited. They found a place of peace and calm. A place to wind down from the excesses outside. There were pool, table football, games consoles. It will take time to be known, to be accepted. We only have enough team to run one night café a month. We are not sure which night of the week is best. Friday or Saturday? Which night will be busiest? When can we connect with most people? To start with, depending on team availability, we will try both nights. In time we would love it to be a regular weekly refuge that could be relied upon, rather than on such an informal basis. We will need more team members.

Saturday 29th June 2013

At 2am, a girl was brought into church who had lost her phone, keys, money and friends. Perhaps mercifully she was too drunk to appreciate the gravity of her situation. The team warmed her up and started trying to sort out what would happen for her next. She lived too far out for a taxi, and had no money to pay anyway. James walked in and uncharacteristically he recognised her. She lived in one of the villages where he had been team vicar. He managed to track down her address. Two of our team were driving back past her door, and at 4am delivered her safely home. We don’t know if she appreciates how God protected her this morning, or what else could have happened. She may just think she was lucky. We know it is more than that and I am pleased we were there for her.

2019-05-27T02:03:00.000-07:00

Mentoring

These extracts from the book are four years old. Since then the mentoring programme has grown in size, but retains its individual approach, and a central part of our schools outreach work.

Friday 6th November 2015

People never seem to get bored of the age-old witticism, ‘Of course, you only work on Sundays, don’t you?’ We hear that on a more or less weekly basis. I presume they are joking. I’ve got to think that or else it would really start to wind me up. But even if they have given any thought to what James’ work might be beyond the obvious on a Sunday, I’m guessing they would be totally wrong about today.

He, and about ten team members from church, have spent the day on Dartmoor. Climbing, abseiling and doing high ropes in the middle of a forest. In torrential rain. A team-building activity day. It was wet, cold and great fun, I’m told. With them were ten students from St Luke’s school, students who had been identified by the school as struggling or vulnerable in some way, and this is the start of a mentoring programme. Over the next school year, our team will meet one-on-one with these guys. Once a fortnight for a coffee, or more likely a can of drink, and to give them a space to be listened to. To be able to talk and to be valued. We don’t know what will happen. Whether it will work. Whether they will want to talk. Today they just got to break the ice and to get to know each other. James returned from an unusual day at the office very muddy

Wednesday 13th July 2016

We have just been told by St Luke’s school that every pupil that we have mentored either maintained their level or improved their academic performance over the year. Some have even begun to put up their hands in lessons, a mark of their increasing confidence, even if their answers aren’t always the best. Before the programme started, the sad expectation was that many or all would drop even lower academically, or struggle even more with school life. I’m excited that we have been part of such a change. The whole team is encouraged before another year starts. In truth, I’m also saddened that it has actually taken very little to help these young people change the courses they were set upon. One hour, once a fortnight … I long now to do more, for more. There are so many opportunities. We are limited only by the size of our team.

2019-05-21T02:16:00.000-07:00

It is so exciting that tonight at church we have Bishop Jackie coming for a baptism and confirmation service. We have had many over the years. In swimming pools, with giant inflatables, in a freezing stream on Dartmoor. In church with an inflatable pool and a cream tea. Tonight everyone is invited to join us for dinner (it's curry) before we move into the service. Candidates, the church and their families will all join together to eat before we celebrate with them this wonderful moment in their faith.

Here is just one extract of another Unlimited baptism...

Sunday 24th November 2013

Laura got baptised today. She is a bright, bubbly drama student. She seems to be always laughing and smiling. Over the past year she has gradually got to know us and trust us. God has steadily been drawing her back to this point, drawing her back into a living relationship she knew as a child. Today she publicly acknowledged her faith before friends and family. It was a big deal for her. She wanted to share her testimony, but not all the details. She felt the need to be honest without revealing everything. I knew how nervous she was, but I doubt few others realised. The drama student in her won through, and she spoke clearly and confidently. She let us in on her journey with a trust and vulnerability that was amazing. She made us laugh with her. She trusted us with her struggles.

She told us that when she was younger she had gone to church every Sunday, and loved it. She had loved learning about all the amazing things that Jesus did for everyone, she loved learning that there was a God out there watching over us. At that time church was a place where she felt safe. Then, before Laura turned twelve, everything changed. A series of events led to her father leaving her family, and from that point on, in her words ‘everything was wrong’. Her family fell apart, her life was torn to pieces, she stopped being able to trust. Her faith disintegrated as she couldn’t understand why it had all happened – why God had allowed it. In her pain and confusion, she stopped going to church. She was hurting and there was nowhere safe any more. Through her teenage years she managed to hold her life together, although it took all her strength and determination not to fall apart. She thought that she needed to be strong for everyone. She didn’t trust in anything or anyone but herself.

In January of this year she met two of our team, Ben and Alison, on the Cathedral Green. Apparently their first conversation was not a huge success. Laura was not at all keen to talk to them. During the conversation they did manage to invite her to Unlimited, but she really didn’t want to go with them. However, after they left she was intrigued, and in the end she came to visit us just to see what we were like. She told us, ‘I’ve never met such a wonderful group of people!’ From that first contact she started to come along more often. She loved our joy, and our love and excitement. But nothing changed in her life, she was still relying on herself, her own strength. It took a bit of a drunken breakdown for her to realise that she wasn’t living her life how she should have been, and at that point she accepted Jesus back into her life again.

Her life didn’t change radically overnight. Every day continues to be a struggle. But what has changed completely is that she now knows that she’s never alone. That she doesn’t need to rely only on herself to do things. She is learning to trust again. She has found that love and joy she had as a child when she went to church. She has rediscovered her fascination with the Bible and how it speaks to us. But most importantly of all, she feels safe again. Safe with God – knowing that He is with her always.

I will never forget her bravery in sharing, trusting us with her story. I will also never forget the location. Baptism in the church building was something we have struggled with. Using a font with adults bending over doesn’t seem to fully convey the symbolism of dying and raising to new life in Christ. Previously we had borrowed a baptistry. Both filling and emptying were not trivial. We considered, briefly, going to the seaside. We discarded it quickly as being way too chilly in winter. So in a moment of brilliance, or madness, I suggested that we should indeed be unlimited by culture and tradition and we should hire a local swimming pool. Many local pools were available for birthday party hire on a Sunday afternoon, so that is what we did. After the formal service, and the very strange acoustic in which we worshipped, the pool was transformed by a giant inflatable obstacle course. The whole church (almost) jumped in, and the party and the fun continued. It was an unforgettable, unusual day of celebration.

2019-05-20T01:42:00.000-07:00

Eating Together

As I've said before, food is massively important to us as a church. Every week you will find us tucking into homemade cakes on a Sunday, and at our Wednesday cafe. But perhaps my most precious moment of the week is on a Tuesday night, where the core of the church meet together for a meal at 6.30pm. Often there are around thirty of us. All the food is prepared on a flat-packed table with two hot plates and a rice cooker. There is no hot water in church. Washing up is done in stations with bowls filled carefully from the urn. It is amazing what you can do with what seems like very little. Initially we were not brave in our food choices. Chilli, sweet potato and chicken curry, sweet and sour chicken and a spring chicken casserole came out month by month. Now a team of student chefs have varied the menu amazingly. No two weeks looks alike. They also cope with gluten free, dairy free, vegetarian and vegan options. Something we had honestly hoped to avoid but have embraced because this really is the place in church where everyone is most welcome.

It is a place where we sit and talk, where we sit and eat as family. Sometimes in one long table down the middle of church. Sometimes in smaller tables of four or six. Over the years I have sat with everyone. You don’t get to sit with your friends. It is good that it is hard for cliques to form. We are all family. It is true that some people are easier to sit with than others, there are times when conversation flows and there is much laughter. Sometimes dinner can feel like hard work. Small talk can feel like an effort after a hard day at work. But even when it is hard there is an unspoken agreement that we will try not to be on our phones. That we will not take refuge from the awkward silences by checking social media or email. Put simply it is family. It is not always easy. It’s not always comfortable. But we are called to love everyone. Not to stay within our usual friendship groups. And for me this model of sharing dinner and life together every week has really made me get to know people in the church that I probably wouldn’t have otherwise. I’ve learnt how to love people very different from me. I find myself appreciating qualities that in the normal busyness of life, I would maybe have completely missed. I enjoy sitting by Will, who I have known since he was eight. He is great at asking me about my day and drawing me out of myself when I am tired. I like talking to Katy, hearing about her job as a carer. The students are noisy and joyful. They happily tell me of their busyness, their late nights, their looming deadlines. Rachel talks with great pride about the year six students that she is nurturing in their SAT year. We are all so very different. We all have so much to learn from one another.

I think for me the thing that most surprised thing about Tuesday nights is the number of visitors that we have. We always intended the evening to be for the Christians in our church. Everything else that we do in the week is outward facing, missional and engaging. We are a multigenerational church with a passion for reaching unchurched youth. We started eating together on a Tuesday nights to create a time that was about the core of the church. Unashamedly we have set it aside as a time for worship, prayer, teaching and discipleship. But time and again we are asked if someone can invite their friend along. And we always say yes. We have learnt that this meal, this time as family together is attractive. It feels comfortable and accessible. It doesn’t necessarily look like any stereotype that people have of church and so they want to come. In turn church members find it easy and safe to invite friends to. Regularly people join us for for dinner they stay for the meeting that follows. It is the highpoint of my week.

2019-05-12T01:16:00.000-07:00

We don’t have favourites in our family. I can’t bear the thought that one child might feel more, or less, loved. I’m so determined to love my children equally it has become a joke. “I’m the favourite” is often to be heard being loudly declared by one or other. Often they try and trap me into expressing a preference.

But as much as I will not have favourites in my family, the same rules don’t apply to the Bible. Because when I read the Bible I really do have favourites. Take the gospels. My favourite is Mark. I love the immediacy and the urgency with which he tells the story. Everything is ‘now’, ‘then’, ‘immediately’. He’s in such a rush to tell the good news he doesn’t stop to tell us about Jesus’ birth but jumps right in with the baptism and testing of Jesus. So keen is he to tell us about Jesus’ ministry he simply ignores the first 33 years of his life. And the read is breath-taking. The whole book can be devoured in a two hour sitting.

Marks’ gospel was the book of the bible I knew best when I became a Christian at the age of nineteen, and unconsciously since then I think it has been the plumb line for my Christian faith. I believed that life with Jesus should be ‘now’ and ‘immediately’, and never more so was this true for me than twelve years ago when we moved from Birmingham to plant a church that would reach out to young people who ‘don’t do church’. Even the words ‘church-planting’ and ‘pioneering’ excited me. I thought that our days would be full of excitement, of following God’s lead and seeing miracles all around.

Twelve years after starting this journey I think I have a better understanding of life and time spent with Jesus. The bible describes time in two ways: chronos and kairos. Chronos time is the tick, tick, tick as time passes. It is measured in minutes and hours and seconds. Kairos is the NOW moment, the moment with God; when time stops ticking and you are right there with God. We have known plenty of both! It was only recently that I recognised that with Mark’s gospel as the plumb line to my christian life I expected that church-planting, pioneering would only consist of kairos time. That life would be as breathless as Mark describes. In my expectations I had not allowed for the chronos. The times when we didn’t know if we were doing the right thing, where nothing seemed to be happening, when we were lonely and struggling.

So we have known much chronos time. But there are so many kairos moments I want to share. Unlimited is truly a multigenerational church with a passion to reach out to the young people of Exeter. From an unpromising start with no building, no team, no money and no youth God has provided all these things which have enabled us to do so much. We have run night cafés from 12-3am, to provide a place of safety in the heady night time economy. We run a lunch time café for college students, we have prayed for over 1000 young people and have brilliant stories to tell. We do mentoring, intervention and PSHE in several schools. Many have come to know Jesus through what we do. But I am always excited by the individuals, the people that we meet.

Take for example the story of Lucy. Things in life had knocked her confidence and she was being robbed of living fully as the person that God had made her to be. Circumstances had told her that she was unlovable and didn’t matter, and that is what she now believed. The belief that you are unlovable leads you to act accordingly and so it was a vicious cycle. When we looked at Lucy as God saw her we saw a smiling, laughing person who should light up a room. Who loved people, connecting with them, drawing them in, giving value and love to everyone. But Lucy often wasn’t that person in a group. She was quiet and withdrawn. She avoided attention and would deflect away from herself in the mistaken belief that she had nothing to offer and was worthless.

So we prayed with her. We waited in the quietness and almost instantly she started smiling. We continued to quietly pray for her without interrupting or getting in the way. Afterwards she told us that she had seen a shop window full of cupcakes. All sorts of wonderful, beautiful, enticing cupcakes. Instantly this had her attention as she loved cakes and baking. As she was drawn into the window, to look more deeply at the display, one cupcake in particular caught her eye. Right in the centre of the window was the most fabulous cupcake she had ever seen. All the cupcakes looked good, but this one stood out from the others. This one was special. According to God this cupcake represented her. And in that picture God spoke straight into her heart. special. She was unique. That day when she left is she was smiling. And it makes me smile just to know that God speaks the language of cupcakes.

Because there were so many moments I wanted to share I decided to write a book to share this story. A book that would honour and glorify the amazing God who has led our every step. A record of the kairos moments, all the encouragements we saw along the way. But a book that would also include a record of the chronos. Of the times when it felt like nothing was happening, when my doubts threatened my faith, when things seemed to be going horribly wrong. I wrote ‘Beginning Unlimited’. A book that I hope will encourage and inspire others to keep on keeping on. To work out their calling. To take risks, joy, success, failure and challenges and to know God in every step.

2019-05-01T01:30:00.003-07:00

‘This is what family must feel like’
Food has always been central to our church. In fact in the six years that Unlimited Church has existed we have never held any form of church service or meeting without food of some kind being involved. And it is not particularly because we ourselves are that interested in food. We are just convinced it is a brilliant way of bringing people together, loving them and valuing them and encouraging community.

Every week we go out as a church and talk to young people in and around Exeter City Centre. We have done it right from when we started. We actively go out and talk to the young people of Exeter. We are not expecting young people who don’t do church to come and find us, so we are committed to going out to where they are.It is a small city and we find there are often large numbers of young people hanging around the shopping centres and cathedral green. The thousands of students at the sixth form college appear to have a lot of collective free time.

In the early days we would approach, often tentatively, and ask a group of young people if they were willing to talk to us. It still surprises me that the majority of young people are keen to talk to us, and are mostly incredibly polite and respectful even when our views differ hugely from theirs. Initially we would talk to them about the fact that we were starting a youth church. We asked them what they thought about church. What they would like to see in a church designed around young people. We moved the conversation onto God. What they thought about Him. What they thought He thought about them. And when it was appropriate we would offer to pray for them. We would listen with our hearts and Bibles open to hear what God might want to speak into their lives. The words were offered lightly but over the ten years or so since we have been doing this we know many loves have been deeply affected by these simple prayers.

But we quickly we realised that we could only get so far with this model. It was no good in cold weather. It was even worse on rainy days, and of course we live in Britain. We needed a building to invite the young people into. We needed a place that could be church. Miraculously we were offered the rental of a small room attached to a city centre church. It was centrally located, but tucked away. We decorated, added pictures and scatter cushions, we bought hot chocolate, cream and marshmallows. We had a vision of a youth café, despite the room only being big enough for eight seats and a coffee table. Even with new furnishings and decoration we remained aware that as the room was located down a dark and rather smelly alleyway, there was no way any young person was ever going to find our church. Either God or we as a team, or both, would have to bring them there.

To our great joy almost from the first week of having this café God brought young people along. Many had never been in a church before. They expected silence and solemnity, organ-music and candles. Universally we were not what they expected. We laughed a lot with them. We were generous with them with piles of cake and hot chocolate mountains. We just spent time with them. Week after week young people returned, trusting us enough to invite their friends. We became known as a safe space. We talked to them about our faith. We gave them a space in which it was good to ask questions. Everyone who came was offered prayer if they wanted it.

From the start we always tried to have home baked cakes. All the team were involved in baking. Students cooking in their halls of residence, the older members around other work commitments. None of us found it is easy. I became skilled at making large numbers of double chocolate chip muffins. I was perhaps even better at making Victoria Sponge cake but it was never as popular. We persisted in making the cakes ourselves, even when it would have been easier and perhaps cheaper to buy them from the local supermarket, because we wanted everything about that room, that space, to be the very best it could be. I wanted the people who came to learn something of their value through the quality of what they received from us. I wanted them to know they meant more to me, to God, than some powdered coffee and a packet of biscuits. That even before they arrived I had invested time, money and energy into them. In short, they mattered.

In time two girls, Jess and Kety, who came to café began to ask more and more questions about God. They started reading the Bible with one of the team members and there were great celebrations when they became Christians. And this was the moment that we as a team had been waiting for. All along we had resisted starting a Sunday service for this church for young people, even though team were asking for it, when we didn’t actually have any young people. We resisted because wanted to design the service around them. We wanted them to feel comfortable. We wanted them to have input and a say in what church should look like. Our very first service we decided to base around a meal. There was no kitchen at our church, and then we were only ten members, so we met late on a Sunday afternoon for toasted sandwiches, cake and drinks, and sat and ate as a family. A short service followed. It was all done in an hour. The was a meal, a talk, one song and a video to think about. As we sat around the table and ate Jess turned to a team member and said ‘I guess this must be what family feels like’, and in that instant I knew that we had got it right. We were called to be church, to be family to these young people. Many of the young people we were meeting had broken and dysfunctional families. We were staggered at how difficult many of their lives were. We were heart broken by their stories. And we were called to be family to them. To be a safe haven in their week.

And so from that first service that intention has never changed. We have had to be more creative in how we provide food with no kitchen as the church has grown. Our youth café still runs. Average attendance is now over fifty and so baking the cakes is more of a challenge. As is making the many, many toasted sandwiches that we offer. But every week young people return and bring their friends and over cake and sandwiches we can get to know them, talk to them, come alongside them. It is a real privilege.

2018-07-21T04:12:00.000-07:00

Happy memories from 11 years ago! I thought you would enjoy a photo to bring this book excerpt to life!

Saturday 21st July 2007

I have moved from a community where I smiled at the hairdresser – had to start dashing past her shop when we changed our allegiances – knew the greengrocer and the newsagent, where the coffee shop knew my husband’s order before he spoke it. And yet all these people didn’t really know us. They knew our faces. We were part of their fabric. Occasionally in crisis they contacted us, but in the main we were all anonymous to one another. We could dip in and out of society as we chose. We could pretend to ourselves that we were there for everyone, but in reality had only space for so many friends. We were friendly with everyone but not everyone was our friend.

It is not the same in the village. We are not anonymous. Everything we do has an effect. So today I find myself covered in green face-paint, wearing a green ball gown and a long red wig. I don’t do fancy dress. Ever. I think it comes from a fear of being laughed at, not with. An insecurity in myself that really doesn’t want to be the centre of attention. So I’m not sure why I ever agreed to dress as Princess Fiona from Shrek, and to spend the whole day dressed that way in front of my new potential friends. And also in front of people who already don’t like the vicar, or his wife. I’ve been saddened to find that there are people here who, although we’ve never spoken to them, don’t like us. They don’t know us, but they know that they don’t like the church. And therefore by extension they don’t like us. We’ve heard some of their reasons. Vicars not visiting in times of sickness, weddings refused, not available for funerals, always being asked for money for the roof. It wasn’t us, but they have taken it personally. So now I am aware that our actions too will reflect on the church. And ultimately therefore on to God. I don’t really want to give them any more ammunition.

But I’m not being totally honest when I say I don’t know why I am doing this. I know that I agreed because James is very persuasive. He loves people, he loves fun, he loves getting stuck in, being helpful. Being around him can be a bit like being around the party. Everywhere he goes people engage, laugh, trust and reveal themselves. Today is the village Fun Day, and James has persuaded us to join him at the centre of it. We’ve only been here two months but have got stuck in to represent the church at this village fundraising event.

The day is fine and bright. All our fears for a washout are unrealised. A wonderful, exhausting day is had by all. The cake stall serves hundreds of cream teas, the stands all do a brisk trade, we enjoy watching the police dogs in the central ring. I revel in this new community, where everyone knows everyone, where we all matter to each other, to a greater or lesser degree. It seems that all my private worries for ridicule and hostility have been unfounded.

Reflect, Rejoice, Release

2018-07-09T23:38:00.002-07:00

It is good to reflect. To remember and rejoice. To release any pain. Four years ago today it seemed like our hopes was dashed as funding for Pete, as a trainee youth outreach worker, fell through. Now we look forward to employing him as a fully fledged youth worker having completed his degree and training.

As I reflect on how we got to the joyful moment I know that his journey to this point has not been simple. He and his wife have needed immense faith and courage at points. None more so than 10th July 2014 when everything seemed to have fallen apart. These excerpts from ‘Beginning Unlimited’ tell just a small part of this story.

Wednesday 15th January 2014

It feels right that now is the time to think about expanding our staff team. With just James, myself, an intern and a handful of volunteers, we all feel stretched too thinly. We were amazed when out of the blue Pete approached us to ask if we would consider him being our youth worker while he studies for a degree in applied theology at Moorlands College. He is considering giving up his well-paid job as a graphic designer in Bristol to come and work with us. He would be placed with us as a youth worker while studying part-time. He would bring an amazing set of skills, beyond his obvious love for young people, but it is a placement and we would have to pay to support him. We have no money. We think it is the right thing for us and the right thing for Pete, but he needs to make a decision and commit to his course before we can absolutely guarantee the money. It is easy for me to encourage him to step out in faith as it is not me putting everything on the line.

Tuesday 20th May 2014

Pete and Rachel have made their decision. They are in! Incredibly, the money also seems certain. The trust fund should cover all Pete’s expenses, and if not, then James has a personal guarantee that Pete will be paid. I am so relieved, I can’t imagine how Pete and Rachel are feeling.

Thursday 10th July 2014

There’s no money. Nothing. The quarter of a million isn’t coming. Apparently the board of the trust fund will not agree to it. The building project is on hold. Not abandoned, but definitely on hold. But worse than that, much worse, there is no money for Pete and Rachel. They have given up everything, their jobs and their flat and we have nothing to offer. It had seemed too good to be true. Too easy. And it was. It is as though the promise of the money helped us to dream big, and we did! We expanded our vision and now have an idea of something incredible, something which I still think God wants us to pursue. Only now it will be so much harder. As I never met the man, this all feels like a slight fantastical interlude, but James is struggling so much more. He met him. He trusted him. He liked him. He feels so let down. He is working through the feelings, but it is a work in progress. He can see that this enabled us to dream big, but at the moment James cannot be grateful for that. He feels angry and responsible for letting Pete down. Yet despite his inner turmoil and all the uncertainty we now face over the way forward, James still has a sense of peace. Maybe God has another plan.

Sunday 14th September 2014

Pete has started work for us. We have three months’ pay in the bank, but that is all. Our only hope for finance beyond that rests with two trust applications that we have made. If the applications aren’t successful, then we will have to let him go. It doesn’t bear thinking about. But for now we have a staff team of four. A weekly staff meeting has been instigated. His focus is on outreach and mission to youth, leaving James more free to run the church, to pastor the members. We hope Pete will push us outside our comfort zone and not let us stand still or get complacent. We want him to feel free to start new initiatives, to link up with youth in ways we haven’t thought of yet. I am impatient to see him do all of this.

Wednesday 8th April 2015

It is so easy to get it wrong with money. To hold on too tight and to let it become a master over you, to let fear control your thinking, your spending and your generosity. Or to go to the other extreme and trust God for everything without taking any personal responsibility. From my family I picked up a view that saving is ‘good’, spending is ‘bad’. I was never taught this, but certainly by the time I went to university this was my informed opinion. I regarded my grant as savings and did everything I could to avoid spending it. I was terrified of running out of money. I didn’t really know this was so ingrained in me. While James and I were dating, he paid for pretty much everything as I always felt I couldn’t afford to do stuff. It all came out when we got married and we opened our first joint bank account. In that account we shared ‘all that we had’ and we were both shocked to discover that I had saved £2,000 during my student years, mostly at his expense. That realisation began in me a process of trusting God with my money. Of actively walking in the opposite spirit. Of being generous, even when it felt unnatural, or sometimes even wrong. I think for me I will always struggle in this area, but I am determined to keep on growing and trusting. So I’m encouraged and surprised to find it so much easier to trust God for all that we need as church than I do for me personally. As bad as being let down over promised funding was for James, somehow I knew God had it all in hand. Being one step removed from the nitty-gritty of the application process for grants probably helped me trust in the big picture. But I was not surprised to hear this morning that all the money has come through to fund Pete for four years. Two charities are each giving us substantially more than they normally award in grants. The relief in James is palpable. I am delighted for Pete and Rachel.

350 books!

2018-06-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

I honestly didn't think too hard about what 350 books would look like, but probably I was fondly imagining 2 reasonable size boxes that could easily be stashed in a corner somewhere. Now that they have arrived the size of the task ahead of me is very apparent. Writing the book was the easy part. Just being honest with words as I typed in the quietness of my kitchen was a process I relished. Even the first, second and third edits were enjoyable as the book kept on getting better, being honed into something sleeker and more coherent.

Today, it becomes less comfortable. Today I have to start promoting this book. I keep being told it won't sell itself, I need to get out there and promote it. This feels way outside of my comfort zone, but despite my reluctance I am determined to keep pressing ahead, as I am proud of this book. I set out to write a book that was honest about the life of a family planting a church, including the full story, not just the 'facebook' highlights, because that is what I wanted to read. The highs and lows of following God's call. And to the best of my ability I have done this, and I hope that it will inspire and encourage others to follow God, wherever He may call.

Beginning Unlimited is released on Amazon on September 21st. But for now you can buy pre-release copies from me!

Endorsements for 'Beginning Unlimited'

2018-05-27T04:30:00.000-07:00

I hope these endorsements give you an idea of what the book is about!

The Right Reverend Dame Sarah Mullally, Bishop of London
“We talk about our longing to see young people engage with the gospel and the church. What we forget is that this takes imagination, perseverance and because of the nature of young people while they may encounter Christ they may not become church members. Liz has written an amazing book which recounts the first 10 years of Unlimited through her eyes. She demonstrates that Christian ministry is not about one person but many and that if the work and those involved are not rooted in Christ the workers will weary and loose heart and the work will fail. I commend the book to you.”

Louie Thorpe, in ministry (including Church Planting) for 32 years alongside husband Bishop Ric Thorpe
"It's a beautifully written book, full of honesty in the struggles, integrity in the resolutions and sheer grit to follow God's call! It encourages you not to be afraid of big vision and inspires you to go for it and see it through! I'd recommend it for any clergy couple or those in youth ministry, particularly in pioneering situations."

Archie and Sam Coates, Senior Leaders, St Peter’s, Brighton
“Liz has written a deeply personal account of the realities of church planting, and any church planter – or any church leader, for that matter – will resonate with Beginning Unlimited. It is raw, honest, moving, and hopeful.”

Jane Williams, Assistant Dean, St Mellitus College
"Liz plays the harp, runs half-marathons, teaches, bakes cakes, takes the children to and from school She is also married to a vicar, so she moves house, has a succession of students living with her, prays for strangers, helps young people to believe that God loves them, and bakes yet more cakes.
This diary is generous and truthful, a compelling account of the small and large truths of trying to live in obedience to God’s call as a clergy family, negotiating the family’s joint vocation as well as the particular call of each one. Every clergy family should read this book."

Matt Summerfield, Senior Pastor of Zeo Church and former President of Urban Saints
‘This book is about courage – and risk – and challenge – and family – and joys – and struggles – and success – and failure – and vulnerability – and brokenness – and encouragement – and disappointment – and most of all, it’s about holding on to God whatever life throws your way. If you’ve decided to not play life safe, if you’ve decided to get out of the boat and risk water walking, if you’ve decided to pioneer with friends and family, this book is for you. Read it… slowly … and let it reality and honesty inspire you in leadership, in life and in faith.’

Minu Chowdhury-Westlake, crisis management consultant and former church planter
‘This ten-year memoir held my attention so much so that I read it in one sitting. Liz takes us on an adventure through life and time with insight, frankness and clarity. Her voice is refreshingly honest as she brings to life daily experiences, both ordinary and extraordinary.

‘This book gave me many cathartic moments, much head nodding and things to ponder concerning the highs and lows of faith, transition, identity and living up to other people’s expectations. I laughed out loud thinking about Liz’s fancy dress moments. I choked up when she talked about her mother, agreed with her cake-making sentiments and empathised regarding the challenges of church leadership.

‘Liz expresses so clearly the journey of seeking God’s voice and responding to the challenges we face. I will be giving this book to many people as it has been a long time since I was so enthralled by a memoir and unexpectedly surprised at how much it gave me to reflect on.’

Book Cover Big Reveal!

2018-05-20T04:20:00.001-07:00

I am so excited to share the cover of my book. It makes this whole project seem excitingly real! I'm hoping to have some advance copies within 4 weeks, the book itself will be sold at Summer Festivals in the UK, and then in September it hits the book shops.

Bucket List

2018-05-08T05:33:00.002-07:00

I have always wanted to write a book. It has always been a longing within me. I know I am not alone in this desire, but I think I had accepted that it would always remain as just that. A hope. An aspiration. Another thing that would remain forever on my bucket list.

I have tried before. In my eagerness to be published I followed a first degree in physics with yet another, hoping to get my name indelibly in ink. I think I thought that somehow then I would never be forgotten. I succeeded in part. I did publish a few scientific articles during my PhD, but I know I won't be remembered for them. I'm not being modest when I state that hardly more than a handful of people will have read my specialist papers on the ground breaking work I pioneered (truly it was!) on the electron microscopy of Rare Earth metals. If you don't know what I mean by Rare Earth metals then picture in your head if you will the periodic table. There is a main group of elements sitting in a table in the middle and then there are a load of elements that sit below that in a chunk - a bit like they've fallen off. That's them - the Rare Earth metals. They are incredibly unstable, even in air, and I spent three years of my life working out how to take pictures of how the atoms arranged themselves within these metals. Cool - huh!

Eleven years ago I moved to Devon with my husband and two young sons to start a church. The Church of England in Devon had created a post that was half time working across five rural parishes and half time starting a church that would reach out to the young people of Devon and Exeter. Young people who wouldn't ordinarily have anything to do with church. We moved to what looked like a 'chocolate-box' village in East Devon from the centre of Birmingham. We soon realised that rural life wasn't the idyll it promised. We left a church of around 1000 attendees to a church which was excited to get ten. Overnight everything we knew changed. Everything was uncomfortable, challenging and unfamiliar. I left friends and family behind. We started to build a whole new life. We knew we were called by God to do this. Not with booming voices or blinding revelations. We just knew inside that this is what He wanted for us. He didn't promise that it would be easy. He did promise always to be with us. Both of these things have proved to be the case.

After ten years of this journey my husband and I went on our first ever sabbatical. A complete break from ministry, from serving, from being needed. From having to organise, initiate, care for, pray, love a whole church. At first I was concerned that we would find there was nothing left between us. That the ten intense years starting this church would have left us with nothing to say to each other, nothing left between us. As you see - we did desperately need a sabbatical. My fears were ungrounded. The three months went by far too quickly. We had loads to say to each other! We laughed, we talked, we enjoyed each other's company. We walked, we read books. We went on holiday.

Perhaps most significantly we each went on retreat. My retreat was 24 hours alone in a a cottage in north Devon, with a prayer cabin in the woods. I was terrified I would be bored. That I wouldn't know how to fill the time. That God would be silent and wouldn't show up. Of course I went with a plan - I knew where I was going to start. It had been suggested that I should rejoice in all that had happened in the last ten years, release any pain or situations that I was holding onto and then receive for the next stage of our journey. And as I should have trusted the time went far too quickly - I could have spent many more days in the peace and silence, just being. Being still, and knowing that He is God.

It was during this retreat that God took me back to my heartfelt desire to write a book. But more than just being a vague longing he showed me that I now had something worthwhile to say. I have always kept a journal. I don't write in it every day, but I do turn to it when there is something significant going on in my life. It may be something that I'm struggling with, it may be that it is something I think God wants me to learn, it may be that something to rejoice over and be thankful for. For the last ten years I had been keeping a record of what it felt like to start a church plant. The highs and lows. The struggles and the triumphs. And this journal is the genesis of what has become my book 'Beginning Unlimited'. I am not aware of any other books out there like this, a diary of what happened and how it felt. I know this is my journey, and mine alone, but I hope my honesty will inspire others to step out, to take a risk, to follow God's call on their lives. I also hope it will give permission for us to share that doing what God requires of us isn't always easy, doesn't always come naturally and doesn't always feel like one amazing adventure with God. Often the calling feels too much, and we feel too little.

But ultimately through the book I hope we learn that it is not about us, it is always about the one who goes with us.