Behaviour: Everyone can get it Wrong

The Christmas Hoodies

2012-10-31T00:35:00.001-07:00

The shelves are filling up with sweets for Christmas. The adverts are singing at you on the television. Your children are nagging you for the latest buzz in the toy world. Your significant other: well you are under pressure to get them the best present...

...hang on a minute. We are a day away from November and you have 54 days until Chistmas. It's the Chistmas time warp. The advertising that is making you feel put under pressure. Let's face it these things are everywhere, from shop point of sale, television to magazines. Does anyone remember a time where Christmas wasn't such a mad rush in the shops? Why do people go crazy and pile in the shops like they are never going to open again? Because the bigwig companies who want your money are putting you under that pressure with their "in your face" adverts.

Don't become a Christmas Hoodie. So, there may not be enough chestnuts left for you this year. The Panettones all gone and nowhere to be seen is the Megatron toy for your son. These things will be back on sale again. If little Timmy doesn't know you we're going to get him Megatron for Christmas he's going to be well chuft you gave him a present after Christmas. Don't feel you have to bulk up on those Christmas presents because Megatron wasn't there either.

DON'T BE BULLIED BY FAMILY OR SHOPS

It's not the end of the world it's Christmas. And incidentally Christmas is here because it is a Christian celebration of the birth of Jesus not because of who can give each other the best and most expensive presents. Do not be fooled by the lovely jingling Christmas adverts or point of sale luring you to the shelves.

3 1/2 Weeks

2012-10-27T00:00:00.001-07:00

Imagine you are going out. An evening where you let your hair down. You are out with the gang. You're having a few drinks. The night is going well. Someone keeps hovering around you and your friends but you aren't interested

You decide to go home earlier than usual, to leave the evening on a high note.

Three months later you receive a phone call from someone who you thought was your friend. They inform you that you have to go and get yourself checked out for HIV because you have slept with their friend. (The person that kept hovering round you on the night out.) And your friend encouraged the person and you to maybe get together. You weren't interested and you didn't sleep with them but how would you feel?

The Day the Earth Should Stand Still

2012-10-12T15:41:00.001-07:00

Hands up if you like shopping? Hands up if you like shopping at the Supermarket for your groceries?

Is it me or do people become the centre of the universe as soon as they step inside a Supermarket. Are you one of these people? Below is a checklist. If you know you do more than three of the following then you are an "I\'m the centre of the universe shopper.

Do you park within the white lines of the car spaces?

Do you stand just inside the entrance, so there is not much room for other customers, talking to your friend?

Do you suddenly stop in the middle of a busy isle to talk to your friend?

Do you reach over in front of someone\'s face without saying, "excuse me"?

Do you jump ahead in the self-service checkout?

Do you think the whole isle is there for you and your trolley?

If you decide you don\'t want an item in store do you return it to it\'s proper place?
If you knock an item off the shelf do you return it to it\'s proper place?

Do you leave your trolley in the middle of the car park?

Do not despair. Become aware!

Shopping Eticate

Be aware of the fellow shoppers around you and be aware of the staff. No one wants bashed with a trolley or an elbow. Staff have work to do without folk giving them more because they didn\'t put something back where they got it. Not only does this cause extra work, but if a perishable item is placed with non-perishables the perishable is thrown away and this doesn\'t help the economy. No one wants their car scratched by a trolley that someone couldn\'t be bothered putting back in the bay.

So if you are guilty of any of the above Tesco, please don\'t shop at the GPS coordinates given.

Thank you for reading.

GPS Position: 5°28\'15"W, 56°24\'38"N

-5.47106 , 56.41057

Winter: It's Like Marmite

2012-10-10T23:59:00.001-07:00

The nights are drawing in and the days are getting shorter. So this got me thinking about my behaviour during the winter months. I hate the cold. I hate the dark nights apart from seeing the stars. I feel lathargic and would love to hibernate during winter. But I don't have SAD. Does anyone have this condition and how does winter affect you? How are your moods and your ability to complete tasks during winter? In fact lets make it even more interesting: anyone can reply to this post about their behaviour during winter but put what month you were born in in your post too.

I look forward to seeing your comments.

Interview You

2012-10-07T12:24:00.001-07:00

Within the next month I will be working on interview questions to ask people from all walks of life. I will be asking them about what they do and how their traits help them to achieve what they do in their life. I will also ask them about their negative traits.

Together we can find out whether we have traits that could help us do something we have wanted. To stand up to something we want and to achieve something we have wanted but didn't have the impetus or confidence.

If you would like to be interviewed please email me at stitched.together1@gmail.com tell me a little bit about what you do and I will send you a questionnaire and email you when your interview will appear on my blog.

What Makes You?

2012-10-03T15:26:00.001-07:00

Below is a list of traits that contribute to human behaviour and personality. What traits can you see that you have, whether positive or negative? Where do you think your traits come from? Our family and social circles may influence our behaviour but just how much is in your control and how much is influenced by your upbringing, culture and social circles?

My mission statement is: To explore... Sorry this isn't Star Trek.

Mission Statement

To find out, with those who wish to take part, what traits make us individual. Why some people have more of a trait than others and why negative trait exhibit themselves under pressure.

PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAITS (inward focused)
Positive	Negative
accepts what's given	ignores, rejects what's given
aspiring, ambitious, motivated	self-satisfied, unmotivated
change; accepts, embraces-	rejects change
cheerful	cheerless, gloomy, sour, grumpy
courageous	cowering, fearful
decisive	indecisive
determined	indecisive, unsure
does what is necessary, right	does what is convenient
perseveres, endures	relents, gives up
enthusiastic	unenthusiastic, apathetic, indifferent
expansive	kept back, tight, constricting
faith in life	life can't be trusted
faith in oneself	lack of faith in self
flexible	inflexible, rigid, unbending, stubborn
focused	unfocused, scattered
frugal, thrifty	wasteful, spendthrift
grateful	ungrateful, unappreciative
hard-working	lazy
interested	indifferent, uncaring
involved	complacent, indifferent
mature	immature
modest	vain
open-minded, tolerant	narrow, close, small-minded, intolerant
optimistic	pessimistic
perfects	allows imperfection
persistent, sustaining	flagging, fleeting, unsustaining
positive	negative
practical	impractical, not viable
punctual	late, not on time
realistic	naive, impractical
reliable	unreliable, undependable
responsibility; takes-	blames others
responsible	unreliable, undependable
responsive	unresponsive, unreceptive
self-confident	lack of self confidence, insecure
self-directed	directed by externals
self-disciplined	undisciplined, unrestrained, indulgent
self-esteem, high	self-esteem, confidence - low
self-reliant	dependent
serious	silly, trivial, petty
systematic	unsystematic, disorganized, disorderly, randoms
unpretentious	pretentious, affected, ostentatious

SOCIAL TRAITS (outer focused)
Positive	Negative
accepts authority, loyal, devoted	rebellious
affectionate	distant, cold, aloof
candid	closed, guarded, secretive
caring	uncaring, unfeeling, callous
considerate, thoughtful	inconsiderate, thoughtless
cooperative	uncooperative, unhelpful, combative
courteous	rude, impolite
devoted	uncommitted, uncaring, hostile
faith in others	others can't be relied on
forgiving	unforgiving, resentful, spiteful
freedom given to others	authoritarian, controlling
friendly	unfriendly, distant, aloof, hostile
generous	stingy, miserly, selfish
goodwill	ill-will, malice, hatred
grateful	ungrateful, unappreciative
honest	dishonest, deceiving, lying
humble	arrogant, conceited, ego-centric
interested	indifferent, uncaring
involved	complacent, indifferent
jealous, not	jealous, envious, covetous
kind	unkind, uncaring, cruel, mean
open-minded, tolerant	narrow, close, small-minded, intolerant
reliable	unreliable, undependable
respectful	disrespectful, rude, impolite
responsibility; takes-	blames others
responsible	unreliable, undependable
responsive	unresponsive, unreceptive
self-directed	directed by externals
self-giving	self-centered
self-reliant	dependent
selfless	selfish
sensitive	Insensitive, indifferent
sincere	insincere, dishonest
social independence	social approval required
sympathetic	unsympathetic, unfeeling
takes others point of view	insists on own view
thoughtful towards others	thoughtless, inconsiderate, callous
trusting	suspicious, mistrusting
unselfish	selfish
willing does, willingness	unwilling, reluctant, recalcitrant
work-oriented	convenience first

Trait-Positive
Trait-Negative
Attitudes
accepts authority, loyal, devoted rebellious
accepts what's given ignores, rejects what's given
affectionate distant, cold, aloof
aspiring, ambitious, motivated self-satisfied, unmotivated
candid closed, guarded, secretive
caring uncaring, unfeeling, callous
change; accepts, embraces- rejects change
cheerful cheerless, gloomy, sour, grumpy
considerate, thoughtful inconsiderate, thoughtless
cooperative uncooperative, unhelpful, combative
courageous cowering, fearful
courteous rude, impolite
decisive indecisive
devoted uncommitted, uncaring, hostile
determined indecisive, unsure
does what is necessary, right does what is convenient
perseveres, endures relents, gives up
enthusiastic unenthusiastic, apathetic, indifferent
expansive kept back, tight, constricting
faith in life life can't be trusted
faith in oneself lack of faith in self
faith in others others can't be relied on
flexible inflexible, rigid, unbending, stubborn
forgiving unforgiving, resentful, spiteful
focused unfocused, scattered
freedom given to others authoritarian, controlling
friendly
unfriendly, distant, aloof, hostile
frugal, thrifty wasteful, spendthrift
generous stingy, miserly, selfish
goodwill ill-will, malice, hatred
grateful ungrateful, unappreciative
hard-working lazy
honest dishonest, deceiving, lying
humble arrogant, conceited, ego-centric
interested indifferent, uncaring
involved complacent, indifferent
jealous, not
jealous, envious, covetous
kind
unkind, uncaring, cruel, mean
mature
immature
modest
vain
open-minded, tolerant
narrow, close, small-minded, intolerant
optimistic
pessimistic
perfects allows imperfection
persistent, sustaining
flagging, fleeting, unsustaining
positive negative
practical impractical, not viable
punctual late, not on time
realistic
unrealist, impractical
reliable unreliable, undependable
respectful
disrespectful, rude, impolite
responsibility; takes- blames others
responsible [ep to 9 levels] unreliable, undependable
responsive
unresponsive, unreceptive
self-confident
lack of self confidence, insecure
self-directed
directed by externals
self-disciplined
undisciplined, unrestrained, indulgent
self-esteem, high
self-esteem, confidence - low
self-giving
self-centered
self-reliant
dependent
selfless
selfish
sensitive
Insensitive, indifferent
serious
silly, trivial, petty
sincere
insincere, dishonest
social independence
social approval required
sympathetic
unsympathetic, unfeeling
systematic unsystematic, disorganized, disorderly, random
takes others point of view
insists on own view
thoughtful towards others
thoughtless, inconsiderate, callous
trusting
suspicious, mistrusting
unpretentious
pretentious, affected, ostentatious
unselfish
selfish
willing does, willingness
unwilling, reluctant, recalcitrant
work-oriented
convenience first [ep psych/soc]

Attributes
Positive Negative
achieved; has-
hasn't achieve
adventurous
conventional
substance-free
substance-abuse (alcohol, drug)
alert
dull
aware of opportunities
ignorant of opportunities
calm
excitable, nervous
clean [ep to 9 levels]
dirty, unkempt
clear goals
lack of, jumbled goals; directionless
clear thoughts
muddled thoughts, confused
completes
leaves hanging, doesn't complete
comprehends
doesn't comprehend
conscious
unconscious
conscious of one's weaknesses
unconscious of one's strengths
constructive
destructive, complaining
content-oriented
outer, surface, form-oriented
creative
uncreative
delegates
tries to do everything
deliberative
reckless
detail-oriented
scrimps on details
develops mental capabilities
leaves mental capacities as is
directed, has direction
directionless, unfocused
disciplined
dissipating
dynamic
passive
educated
uneducated
education exceed previous generation
education not exceed previous generation
education greater than present level of achievement
education less than present level of achievement
education greater than previous generation
education less than previous generation
efficient
inefficient
effort taking
lack of effort
effort achieves results
effort wasted
energetic
listless
enterprising
enterprising, not
entrepreneurial
entrepreneurial, not
envisions the unseen
visionless
experienced (in area)
inexperienced (in area)
fatigue-free
tired, fatigued
focused
unfocused, addled, scattered
goal-oriented
goalless, directionless
good
evil
graceful
clumsy
has enough time
never has enough time
health robust, strong constitution
poor health, weak constitution
high goals
low, no goals
higher social interests
lower, no social interests
idea-driven
ideas don't motivate to act
imaginative
unimaginative
improves self
stays the same
in rapidly expanding field of work
in static or declining field
initiates (has initiative)
lacks initiative
innovative
conservative
insightful
lacks insight, blind to, ignorant of
intelligent
stupid
knowledgeable
ignorant, uniformed
knowledgeable in a particular area
no knowledge in a particular area
leads others
submits, yields to others
lives from the depths of life
lives on the surface of life, superficial
lucky; things go your way
unlucky
money circulated for improvement
money hoarded for security
motivated
unmotivated
nerves strong
nerves weak
objective
subjective, biased
observant
blind to, oblivious to
organized
disorganized
patient
impatient, expectant
personable
non-engaging, distant, cold
physical stamina
lack of stamina
polite, mannered
impolite, ill mannered, rude
previous success in family life
previous failure in family life
previous success in school
previous failure in school
previous success in work
previous failure in work
productive interactions with others
chit-chatting
professional (acts)
amateurish (acts)
professional qualification achieved
no professional qualification
punctual
late
regular
irregular, erratic
relationship with other(s) positive
relationship with other(s) negative
resourceful
unresourceful, helpless
responsible
irresponsible
results-oriented
does for doing's sake, being merely occupied
risk-taker
averse to risk
sees the whole picture
seeing only parts of the picture
seeks improvement
self-satisfied
spiritual, inner connection
lacks any spiritual, inner connection
stamina
lack of stamina
strong; physically-
weak; physically-
strong; psychologically-
weak; psychologically-
stress-free, relaxed
stressed, tense
(has had) supportive family or friends
(has had) indifferent, uncaring family or friends
systematic
unsystematic, disorganized, disorderly, random
tough
weak, soft
trustworthy
untrustworthy
wealthy
impoverished
wealth in present generation
poverty in present generation
well-behaved
ill behaved
work is in harmony with personal life
work is in conflict with personal life

Social Endowments
affectionate family upbringing
indifferent, hostile family upbringing
high mental abilities in family
poor mental abilities in family
parents attained high social status
parents have low social status
parents motivated, gave direction
parents demotivated, gave no direction
parents rose & accomplished
parents remained in same position
(inheritance) physical attributes are fine
(inheritance) physical attributes are poor
(had) previous success (in school, work, family life)
(had) previous failure (in school, work, family life)
prosperity in family upbringing
poverty in family upbringing
psychological health and well-being
psychological problems
prosperity in surrounding society
poverty in surrounding society
supportive social environment
indifferent social environment

Skills
capacity to judge others
unable to judge others
careful, graceful with objects
careless, clumsy
communication skills
communication skills, lack of
(can) exercise authority
cannot exercise authority
delegation skills delegation skills, lack of
leadership skills
leadership skills, lack of
listening skills
listening skills, lack of
management skills
management skills, lack of
motivating skills
motivating skills, lack of
negotiating skills
negotiating skills, lack of
organization skills
organization skills, lacks
planning skills
planning skills, lack of
problem-solving skills
problem-solving skills, lack of
public speaking skills
public speaking skills, lack of
reconciling problems, conflicts at higher level skills
reconciling problems, conflicts at higher level skills, lack of
skilled
unskilled
skilled, talented exceptionally in particular area
not skilled, talented exceptionally in particular area
speaking skills
speaking skills, lack of
teamwork skills
teamwork skills, lack of
technical work skills
technical work skills, lack of
time management skills
time management skills, lack of
verbal skills
verbal skills, lack of
writing skills
writing skills, lack of

Don't Mess With Me

2012-10-03T00:20:00.001-07:00

This isn't a behaviour or a mannerism but I do think it's something that has caused attitudes to change and people to become less aware of others in ways that should matter and more aware of others if only to pick out their faults or zits. It is something that annoys me and this could cause me to be grumpy.

The last time I saw this was in the Daily Mail on Tuesday. It made me feel a little queasy and horrified.

WHAT IS IT?

Well on Tuesday it was the picture of Anne Robinson having a day off from looking like a celebrity.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2211526/Anne-Robinson-Youre-real-trouper-68-time-grow-old-gracefully.html

Aren't celebrities allowed to have wrinkly knees? Aren't they allowed to have spots or eat chocolate etc? How would you feel if someone took a photo of you not at your best and splashed it all over a newspaper?

I can hear you crying: "It's their job. They chose to be in the lime light." Try imagining how it feels to be a celebrity. Papperazzi all over the place. Always have to look your best because that is what the public expect. Have to keep your figure looking perfect. Me, I'm tired just by thinking of imagining being a celeb.

The press report news. I hardly class Anne Robinson's knees news. The press can influence us and I believe they have, with their condemnation of stars, changed our attitudes to humiliating people.

So this is a blog for all journalists and papperazi who want to write their articles and take their photos and humiliate celebs:

I'm Watching You. You will never know when I'm around but I'll get snaps of you on an off day and post them on my blog just to see how you like it.

8 Pointers to Help Negative Behaviour from Acting Out

2012-10-01T00:06:00.001-07:00

1) Eat and drink healthily. It's okay to have a little too much of something you like as long as you balance it.

2) Think positively. You know that feeling you have: the one where you are looking forward to something. A date, a meal with a friend, work. Remember that feeling or anything else that has made you feel good and use it to bolster your mood.

3) Act positively. Same as above but acting in a positive manner. If actors can act it... It works.

4) Choose to fill your life with positive people. Of course anyone of us can go throu a bad patch. A constant bad patch? Do you need pessimists in your life?

5) Perhaps you feel stuck in a rut and this doesn't help your mood or you trying to keep from snapping, feeling blue etc. Try a hobby. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_hobbies

6) Are you getting enough sleep? Not enough sleep, as everyone knows, can help our bad behaviours to exhibit themselves.

7) Look inside yourself, not outside, for behaviour. You are responsible for you.

8) We all need to feel connection, to have freedom, we need to feel that we are significant, we want to survive, and have enjoyment. Are you getting enough of these basic human needs?

Snap

2012-09-28T00:32:00.001-07:00

How aware are you? How in tune are you about yourself? The more in tune you are about yourself, the more you will tolerate others when their behaviour annoys you.

Maybe the person who snapped at you is having a bad day!

How long before you snap all depends on, in my belief, many factors. Here are a few of them.

❗ The genes you have from your parents

❗ How you were nurtured

❗ Diet

❗ Race

❗ Environment

❗ Neurological impairments

How you execute your behaviour in any day is down to you. You can chose to snap or not. If you understand that you may be feeling grumpy one day:

Looking inside yourself to find out why may nip any snaps before they've snapped someone.

Remember these are only my thoughts on the subject. I'm no behavioural psychologist. My only insight into this is I was born to one set of parents and raised by another. Your comments and thoughts will be greatly appreciated.

Welcome to My Blog

2012-09-27T02:32:00.001-07:00

I'm new to blogging. One thing that has interested me most of my life, because I'm adopted is: What makes people tick and why? Why do we behave in certain ways and are all behaviours and mannerisms inherited?

We all have our mannerisms and behaviours. We can all behave badly and we all have our personality flaws. We can all turn into a different person under stress and behave in ways which we usually wouldn't. We could shout and snarl, spend money frivolously, turn to drink or drugs, hit out in a physical way.

Are perfectionism, stubbornness, aggression, cheerfulness, spitefulness, etc inherited or is it all about nature vs nurture?

Where do these behaviours originate from and are we ready to go on a journey and help each other to curb our bad behaviours and stem, as much as we can, our personality flaws?

I am not a scientist but I have spent a lot of my time analysing others and asking questions because I'm a curious sort. What I have discovered is what shapes us is still happening and carries on until we die. What causes you to behave in a certain way in certain situations does originate from how your we're raised. But if you are willing to analyse yourself and you want to change how you behave in stressful situations this is well within your power. The journey to who you are and why you are is sometimes painful and other times amazing but well worth looking at.

Your comments and ideas throughout will be expected (how else am I going to learn) and they will be greatly appreciated.