Behind Every Great Man...

HELP! A camera phone just threw up on my blog!!

2014-01-10T04:04:00.001-08:00

Because you're mine, I Walk the line.

2014-01-10T03:50:00.002-08:00

Houston we have a WALKER! No not a brain eating, groaning, kill it before it kills you walker...

Madison is WALKING! Not everywhere, but she has her balance enough to go from here to there without falling after the first five steps. I counted 14 the other day! If she isn't going far, she walks (and shrieks all the way at how awesome and graceful she is, of course.) She will still crawl when she is in a hurry, or when myself or daddy are a threatening distance away from her fragile bubble that we must say in, but other than that this girl is on fiyah. I help her finger today on our way out, as well, and she walked all the way from our apartment, into the elevator, through the lobby, and through the parking lot to the very back where our car was parked. She was so proud of herself!

in other news...

I have some great news about diamonds! If you're on the hunt just retrace my footsteps because I lost one of the diamonds of my engagement ring! Woohoo!!!!
FML. And so now I get to just wear my band so I don't have to a) stab my pinky to death with the big empty hole & broken prongs or b) walk around with a ring that has a clump of wax or putty stuck in it. Looks like I'll just be sportin' the wedding band for the next 6 years D: Maybe Mark will get fancy and surprise me with it being fixed or a new ring before then... here's hoping but not holing my breath because lord knows I'd die lol I don't mind though. I can deal with just

the band for awhile. Pockets are much more convenient this way haha

Today me and Madison got krafty. She did her first finger painting! And by her I mostly mean me swinging my hands around a canvas trying to convince her this is what normal babies do. She got a couple swats in there, but it's mostly mommy's fantastical finger paint monogrammed canvas. Shhh, we'll let her think she did it all when she wakes up to see her masterpiece each morning hanging on her wall ;)

aaaand now she's trying to take over my computer, so with that I'm out.

Product Rave

2013-12-27T01:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know I suck and didn't do a "Christmas Post" before posting this, but oh well. It will come. Eventually lol. I just HAVE to rave about this subscription box my mom got for Madison.

It's called "Citrus Lane". For $30 a month (or less depending on if you do monthly, trimonthly, or a six month subscription) you get a box FULL of goodies specifically geared towards your child's age & gender, from prenatal to 5 years old A typical box has a food item, a toy, a care item (shampoo, soap, lotion, etc), a book, and a surprise for mommy! Most items are organic, natural, and all around environmental & body conscious.

I have yet to be displeased by this box. If my mom didn't get the subscription for my daughter I would do everything in my power to make sure we still had it. Including cancelling my other subscription boxes!

This months box was PERFECTION. It didn't come with a food item, which I usually look forward to, but that detail was shadoweded by pure perfection.

First, the book. Super thick cardboard pages, perfect for babies who want to rip fragile paper books. And it is small enough for them to hold themselves, but big enough for my hands not to fubmle pages. "Cleo in the Snow". Perfect for winter, and Madison ALWAYS loves books!

Next, car item: Babytime by Episencial Snuggly Lotion. I LOVE this company. It's products are natural, usda organic, plant based, vegan & gluten free. SUPER environmentally conscious and all around a beautiful company whose products are fairly priced and worth every single penny even if they were to be overpriced. I already received their Shampoo & body wash in a previous box and have since ordered 3 large bottles of it to use. It is a bit watered down, but a little goes a long way and it smells amazing!

Also in the box was, one of my favorite things I have EVERY received, a small 12x12 inch canvas, including pink & blue paint to be used as "handprint wall art". I don't plan on doing a hand, though. We just did her hands for Christmas, so no need. I plan on using this (which is something I've been wanting to do, so perfect mind reader citrus lane obviously would send it!) for finger paints. Her room is pink, so I'll just give the blue paint to my neighbor who has a little boy and let her go crazy with the pink so we can hang it on the wall as her first painting! Super excited to do this I cannot HANDLE it!

And. The grand mac daddy... a Jumbo Knob Puzzle!! I have been looking for these for forever. This one isn't animals, it's shapes which is great because it will be easier for her to match them up once she gets the hang of it :)

It's so great that Citrus Lane seems to match our needs and wants PERFECTLY. Maybe we're just lucky, but I cannot rave enough about how amazing this company and the companies they support are. ESPECIALLY with us living in Japan and not having as much of a selection as far as natural products, or hot commodities toys in general go. Purely magical.

Uhg... Already counting down the days til my next box!

But I Do Love You.

2013-11-16T04:14:00.000-08:00

Okinawa, Japan is 12 or 13 hours ahead of Naples, Florida & Cincinnati/Dayton, Ohio. It is an up to 30 plus hour plane ride. And not a day goes by that that isn't on my mind.

I never forget how far away Madison is from our family. Her family. She will be nearly 4 years old before our family is an active part of her life beyond a computer screen & phone calls.

Not as important, I can't go out and get an Arby's Beef N Cheddar. Bi-weekly "cheat" trips to Smithfields are out of the question. Cookout's greasy goodness does not drip all over my fingers, and will not be washed down with a blueberry cheesecake milkshake. I indulge in no skyline, and I do not repulse my husband with the smell of two white castle cheese sliders & a small order of onion fries.

I can't buy home goods at Kirklands and hope my husband doesn't notice when he comes home from being away. He can't offer to buy me an unexpected pair of wedges from Buckle as my eyes light up passing them on our way to Gymboree at the mall, let alone go to Wilmington on the weekends to get a better selection of clothes (and still come home with only 1 shirt because I'm THAT picky.)

Friday summer nights don't begin every night in Drew's back yard staying up way too late only to get way too early to go to the beach and sit on the back of a Jeep. Heck no weekend nights at all begin that way. We don't go to Chilis (again!) with Chelsea, Jake, "Sky", and Kali. No more movie nights in their living room. No more promising Sky a balloon (which I always forgot to buy but he didn't care) if he did this or that.

But, Okinawa, I do love you. And I know that these next three years are going to go by way too quickly.

The island is straight off of an internet "paradise" google image search. You have beaches, country side, caves, water falls, children's parks, amazing food, hidden shacks, and soaring building all on one small island. You can wake up and relax in a beautiful quiet park with a small stream running under an old bridge, then end up in a loud bar eating sushi and drinking sake by night fall. Nothing about this island, so far, had made me think "I could do without that." Every thing is so beautiful and I usually sit in the passenger seat for that very reason. More opportunity to view what a wonderful place I have been granted the pleasure of calling home.

The people are just as beautiful as the island they so graciously opened to us. They are genuinely kind & thoughtful. You rarely see a glum face-- and if you do, the moment their gaze meets you smiling and nodding hello their face instantly brightens up with a smile & twinkling eyes as they nod back. Madison is seldom passed without a Kawaii (cute!) or some serious baby googly eyes. They almost always HAVE to touch her cheeks or hands. And I don't mind one bit. Because 9 times out of 10 if the person is even the slightest bit sick, they wear a mask. The courtesy they share for one another is outstanding.

If you are expecting a deliver, and given a 2 hour time frame, typically-- ignore the last hour & a half they say. If they say there will be here between 10 & 12 they will either be sitting in the truck waiting for the clock to strike 10 or will be there before 10:30. Their word is their word, and rarely will any thing change that.

Parking lots, while smaller than Stateside, are typically guided by attendants, both in & out of the parking lot. Often there are men pointing you in the direction of a parking spot.

I have yet to see a trash or recycling bin anywhere outside of a place of business (and even those aren't in plain sight), but I have yet to see litter. Off base at least.

Nothing about this island ceases to amaze me. And I hope it is always that way.

Baby you're everything and more than everything I wanted, more than I deserve...

2013-11-07T20:39:00.003-08:00

Five days. Five more days and my baby girl will be 1 year old. It does not seem like we've had her this long, but when you think about it, is 364 days really that many days? Not when you write it out in days, in my opinion. Even shorter a time when you write it down as only 12 months. Which is scary to think that 1 year is "only" 12 months. Makes me wonder how fast the next 17 years will go. Also makes me want to curl up in a cocoon & pretend I'm still in my second trimester (because lets face it, the first & third suck lol!) with this beautiful baby girl and she is still a long way away from growing up :/

She still isn't walking, but she's taken a few steps here and there so I don't think we have too much longer to go for that. I'm excited about it, but I know once she starts walking I'll hate it lol

She's gotten so much more independent it's sort of sour to think about. She's still needy half the time, where she just wants to be in our (well... my lol) arms, or needs me to sit next to her as she plays so she knows exactly where I am and that I'm not leaving her, but usually a couple times a day I will be sitting on the couch and she'll crawl into her room to play with those toy. She has two bins in the living room to play with as well, but a girl's gotta have choices! lol!

Oh, also... whenever she cries in the car, we only have to play this certain song to get her to calm down... and it's kind of embarrassing lmao. Headband by B.o.B featuring 2 Chainz haha!!! That's one to tell her first date. "When she was a baby we would play a rap song about tight lady parts and ganji! It'd make her happy as a clam! No pun intended, of course!

The weekend before this past weekend Madison has her 1 year pictures taken, and smash cake pictures! She didn't get to wear exactly what I wanted her too, because it was too cold, but the pictures are still wonderful, regardless of what she was wearing, thanks to a friend of mine who is an amazing photographer! I cannot wait for our family to get the pictures!! If you're on, or planning on coming to Okinawa any time within the next year & a half or so, totally look into her stuff-- I cannot rave enough about her!!

Photo credits:
http://krystalynnephotography.com/
https://www.facebook.com/krystalynnephotography

They Say It's Your Birthday...

2013-11-07T20:10:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Marine Corp... okay I don't really G.A.F about the fact that it's their "birthday" lol... but I do care that I get to get all dolled up! This past Saturday we had our Birthday Ball! For the first time, I actually wanted to stay the whole time! Maybe it was me being a mom, and actually enjoying just being around adults without worrying about poopy diapers & if it's nap time yet. Either way, it ended too soon and I wish I could go back and replay the night (with a few differences, of course, but we won't get into that lol)
I always enjoy the slide show, but typically after that I slug through listening to a long boring speech, eating crappy food, and then we high tail on out of there once the dancing starts. But the speech was actually pretty good. There were some parts that went in one ear and out the other, but for the most part it was enjoyable (it helped that for the first time the guest of honer, the person who does the main speech, was fun to look at for an older man haha!)
And the food! Oh man, it was actually warm! And that wasn't the best part... it was GOOD too! "What's that you say!? I must have misheard you!" NAY, my good friend! It tasted like something you actually were glad you paid $35 dollars to come to this play for! And apparently the booze was nice and strong, too, which my husband enjoyed (a little too much I might add lol).
And lastly, the DJ actually did a great job picking songs! He was smart enough to start everything off with songs that had actual dances attached to them so people would
get out on the floor (Cupid Shuffle, Line Dancing, etc.) and once enough people were on the floor he changed it up to free dancing songs. I didn't hear any slow songs, but apparently those came after I left, according to Mark's text "Of course a song I would want to dance with you to comes on"... obviously -___- He never dances anyway, so whatevs, I'm used to it *shrug*. (Mark ended up coming home with his gunny. I left a half an hour or so before him so I could let the baby sitter go home at a relatively decent hour.)

Oh, and speaking of birthdays! Madison will be 1 year old in 5 days! What. Thee. Ever Loving. Hell!? How did this happen!? And why am I not twig bitch skinny again by now!? Gah, I started Herbalife up again way too late lol what a slacker. I'm down 10 pounds, though... so that's a plus. Now that I fit into my gown, though, I know I'll be slacking more, which sucks... but at least I have plenty of time, even with slacking, to get bikini bod ready ;D
Her party will be on the 17th. This weekend we go to finish up her Birthday shopping, and to get decorations for her party.
Her birthday Party will be a "Royal Affair" where she'll be dressed up (and the guests/their kids if they'd like!) like prince & princesses! We still don't know too many people on island, so it will be relatively small so it will just be in our apartment :)

Now on to a separate and much longer Madison Update in a new post!

It's Good To Be Bad.

2013-08-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

I am a bad mom, and I'm perfectly fine with it.

Madison Brianna is 9 months old. She has no designated nap, bath, eating, bed, or wake-up time. She has no schedule, and 95% of the time she is happy.

To most people now days, no schedule for a baby is horrible. Society constantly tells you how to raise your child the best way. How you need to put them on a schedule, or your life will revolve around them and nothing more or less.

My daughter is a baby. She is not a clock.

She wakes on her own for the day between 6:30 & 8:30 and she goes to sleep for the night between 8:00pm & 10:00pm. Sometimes she wakes up between 3:30am & 5am for a sleep feeding, but for the last week she hasn't been waking at all in the middle of the night.

Bath day is every 2-3 days (depending on if we go in the heat or if she is otherwise dirtier than usual). Sometimes it is in the morning. Sometimes it is in the afternoon. Sometimes it is at night. Her bath time is whenever I decide "Okay, I'll give her a bath now." Usually right before we leave if we have things to do that day, whenever that may be. Her bath is not a cue for bedtime, or wake time. It is a bath. It is when I splish and splash her while she splishes and splashes herself. It is not a time for her to relax, it is a time for her to play and have fun while momma does her thing with that cup & washcloth that sure do look like fun toys.

She eats when she is hungry. Sometimes that is every 3 hours. Sometimes that is every 5 hours. Her breakfast is whenever she is hungry after her first morning bottle. Her lunch is whenever she is hungry in the afternoon. Her dinner is when we eat (which varies depending on when daddy comes home.)

My daughter is not a robot. She knows when she is hungry and/or tired. And she knows how to tell me that.

Now, if you put your baby/toddler/child on a schedule and it works for you, more power to you. But that does not mean it is what everybody should do. It works for some people, and others (while it will still probably work for most) prefer to let their child tell them when they need things.

My daughter is not in charge. But I am also not in charge of her basic human needs. While she is a person made from two people, she is her own. I will continue to let her be her own person so long as I am able.

Now That We're Here, Now That We've Come This Far

2013-08-25T18:54:00.001-07:00

Well. Here we are. In our new temporary home. Camp Kinser Towers. Right in front of the beach... but of course our apartment is on the wrong damn side so we just get a nice parking and other tower view with a sliver of city skyline lol. I can't complain, though. At least during typhoons I won't have as big a clean up on the balcony!

We've got a 2 bedroom, so we're needing to store things smarter without a third bedroom to use as a "throw all room", but it's spacious enough for us to fit everything we need with a couple extras and still maintain an uncluttered home. Plus there are closets and cabinets EVERYWHERE lol.

I've already began hanging things. Some of the walls are concrete, so I need to have Mark drill into them for me before I can drill a screw in, but other than that, today I plan on hanging everything else.
We bought a printer, but I need a damn cable so the frames will have to deal with old pictures until I can get better pictures printed on base, shipped from online, or the plug since this computer doesn't have wifi and my macbook isn't compatible with it.

Madison is so happy to have her crib back! She is going to bed without a fuss, and so are we! For the first time in 2 months I've had a sleepless night (well 2nd night... we got everything bed two days ago after sleeping on hotel beds and air mattresses for the two days we were here without things lol).

She has her own little area with cubes full of her toys to play with in the living room so hopefully she isn't as "HOLD ME MAMA" all the time. I plan on replacing it with a chest or large wicker basket.

It's so nice to be able to actually cook a dinner now. Granted, we have to sit on the couch and eat it, but it's food by golly and I cooked it! No more eating out or surviving off of simple or frozen meals. I have a damn oven again!

Pretty much everything in the common areas is put it it's place and tidy, except some things in the buffet that I need to find a place for so we can have the government take it back (government furniture). The bedroom & nursery are pig stys lol I plan on tidying those today as well.

I've been scouring facebook for sale pages & booko for a cheap bedroom set for awhile now, so hopefully I find something soon so we can have the government pick up all of the furniture they put here for us to use until we got our own things. First pick up is free, otherwise we have to take it back ourselves or pay to have it taken back... so we are just going to wait until we can give it all back at once.

So yeah, that's that.

You're Gunna MIss Me When I'm Gone

2013-07-29T19:05:00.003-07:00

So it's been awhile since I wrote. We've been out of our house since mid June, living with friends, then family, then friend's again... and now. In a hotel. A hotel in... DUN DUN DUN DUUUUNN Okinawa, Japan! We've been here for a week now, and although I haven't seen much at all, I am in love.

We went to the airport on our original flight date. After an hour of waiting we were told the flight was going to be delayed half an hour... and then another delay which made us miss our connecting flight to seattle. Missing that flight meant we had to wait to leave because they only flew out of Seattle to
the airbase here once a week. We ended up having to leave Saturday morning at 5am instead of the Thursday at 4pm. We got one more day with friends, so whatevs. The sucky part was we went from a 15 hour airplane day to 30. Fuuuun!

It actually wasn't even that bad. It seems like it went by so much quicker than 30 hours. I'm glad we ended up flying commercial the entire way.

At LAX we were invited to go to the first class lounge before our flight to Tokyo. They had free internet, sushi (which I wish I would have known before we got Panda Express! lol!), alcohol, cappuccinos, Japanese newspapers... it was awesome. Madison slept mostly the whole time, so we stayed there for about an hour to charge things and get online. When she woke up we left so she didn't start getting loud and talking while people were trying to rest. The JAL (japanese airlines) attendants put in Madison's carseat for us, so we just strolled her around in their stroller.

At the security all the Japenese woman lost their minds over Madison. Apparently they LOVE American babies. Especially if they are blue eyed. Give them a blond to boot and you might as well send an ambulance lol. One of the women, you could tell had baby fever. She kept poking Madison's cheek and squealing whenever Madison smiled or giggled at her. It was so cute! Madison was eating the attention up!

On the flight from LAX to Tokyo we had AWESOME seats. Since they were positive if her carseat would fit we got the bassinet row. We had SO MUCH ROOM. Mark could stretch out completely without his long legs being restricted, so I know he loved that. We eat had our own TV that had movies, games, and aerial views from the plan the whole way. On take up and landing the screens towards the front of the plane (one of which was RIGHT in front of us) showed the front of the plan
so yo could see yourself taking off and landing. It was really neat. We had seafood rice snacks, which were kind of like the snacks you usually get on American flights, only these were seafood flavored. They were really good. Mark isn't a fan of fish, though... so I'm sure he didn't appreciate them as much as I did. For the on flight lunch he had roast beef with a roll and I had some sort of eel & rice dish. We both got noodles & sauce, a fruit cup, kimchi, salmon (raw) with I think it was cabbage, and sorbet. For dinner, to be honest, I don't remember what we got. But it was still good!

Originally our flight from Seattle to Okinawa would have been about 13 hours on a AMC flight (military flight). Which meant no awesome Japanese meals, no awesome chairs, awesome personal TVs, or awesome display showing us taking off or landing from the nose of the plane. It was really awesome and made the time fly by.

So far, we are looking at a 5-7 week wait for housing. Mark's command, I guess, is trying to expidite that process. I think he said they were successful before in making it quicker, so hopefully it's the same for us. As much as I LOVE living in a 500 sq ft hotel room (we got upgraded! lol) I would really love to have our own place so I can start making our concrete floors and white walls more homey and less hotel impermanent. I just want a home again. My bed. Madison's room. All of her toys. All of our clothes. All of everything.

We already bought our first car. A Subaru B4 with Twin Turbo. All of the cars over here are old, so ti's a 2003. No sense in buying anything newer when we are only going ot have it for three years... We already have everything for it set up, but here you have to go through a bunch of other stuff so we don't actually GET the car until Thursday. I mean, not that it mattered. Mark JUST got his license yesterday (I got mine almost a week ago, but the car has to go in his name since he's the active duty and I'm just here on a sponsorship.)

So far (off base) we've only been to CoCo's Curry house. I had Cream Croquette Curry with Crab. It's basically curry, with white rice (which comes with every meal) and the Cream Croquette with Crab meat is like a hashbrown made from creamy crab meat. It was sooo good! For dessert we bought an ice cream bar from there. It was basically an ice cream with hard chocolate in between two layers of vanilla ice cream, and the whole thing was wrapped in a semi soft ice cream shell that looked like a big waffle. It was pretty dang good. I mean, it tasted like normal ice cream, but it was still neat lol

I'll be sure to update as I can. The internet at this hotel is horrible, and as I said, it's going to be a while until we have our own place with reliabl
e internet :/

Madison is 8 and a half months old :)

2013-07-29T18:23:00.003-07:00

Madison Update :)

I have no doubt that she will be walking around by her first birthday. She is growing so fast, it seems like every time I turn around she is doing or growing something new.
She now has five teeth. Yes, five. I know what you're thinking "How the hell do you breastfeed a kid with FIVE TEETH!? Well.. I don't. Unfortunately, while we were bouncing between places the stress took it's toll and my supply all but disappeared. I was producing so little that all I kept hearing was how she's gotten smaller, she was wanting to eat every 2 hours still (even with solids) and I just couldn't keep up with her needs so I made the decision to switch to formula. I'm glad we made it as long as we did, but I'm also glad I don't breastfeed any more. You might have heard me say before, it was just more stressful for me than beneficial for the both of us. I was resentful of my husband, to be honest, and I know this is best for myself and my daughter. We made it 7 and a half months, and we've been 100% formula for a month and she's already packed on the
pounds. She's going longer between feedings, and sleeping more soundly day & night. Every so often I would try to give her my breast but she would refuse altogether so my plans of hopefully reestablishing my supply once we settled here in Okinawa went down the pooper with a quickness. But, like I said, I am happy with the decision and so is Madison. And that's all the matters :)

She is full throttle crawling, no more row boat action. And standing, too! She walks along furniture and every so often she will let go, or pop up from my lap and stand for 3-5 seconds at a time before plopping down on her butt.

She eats pretty much anything me or Mark have (that she CAN eat at least.) Every time we have food she stops in her tracks, crawls her way over, pulls herself up, and begs like a little puppy dog. Personally, I blame daddy lol. Bananas are still her favorite. She loooves diluted apple juice and bread as well. If you want to do something (like write a blog) just pull out the puffs and as long as there are

some on the floor next to her, she will not bug you lol

Her favorite toy is still her little monkey jungle joystick toy thingy... very descriptive, I know. But how the heck do you give a toy like that a name? lol She's also taken to playing with the wheels of our suitcase. Her favorite toy that isn't a toy (that she still likes more than her actual toys) is her wipes. She will sit there and crinkle the plastic on them for every and be perfectly content. You have to hide wires from her, too. She can't help but pull and yank on them. Like now...

She loves Mickey Mouse Club House & when Geometry Wars (a video game that Mark plays on occasion.)

I think that's about it as far as an update for her... now.

(Insert song title here)

2013-04-30T15:41:00.001-07:00

So apparently my life doesn't merit a song title for this blog... because I can't think of one that goes with it lol So you get a no song title title. Impressive, no?

So, past month. Miss Madisunshine is 5 months old :o She is trying to crawl now. She can put her butt in the air on her knees, she can hold herself up on her front hands, but she hasn't quiet figured out how to do it all at one time, so the results end up looking more like a fish out of water more than an attempt at becoming mobile. She can sit up by herself too! Mind you, it's for about .84 seconds, but it's sitting up nonetheless! She can sit up for a good while if she's on carpet, but we don't have any so the only time she gets those long stretches is when we visit Jake & Chelsea's house :P

She recognizes her name now, too. And she's taken to clawing our faces, which is splendid She will reach, pull you to her face, and good luck getting her detached because it's going to be more painful getting her off of you as it is having her on you lol

A week ago we got more family pictures done :) They were supposed to be a generations picture (My mother, me, and Madison), but my mom got really sick while she was here so it ended up just turning into just Mark, Madison, and I. I'm so happy with all the pictures! I just wish we were staying here longer so we could get more done since now I know a good photographer with good prices around here :/

What was that I said? "wish we were staying longer"? Does that mean?
Yes. Yes it does.
We are 100% definitely without a doubt gong to JAPAN :o We leave July 18th and while it sucks that we have to leave family behind, and that Madison will be 3 by the time she is able to really get to know everybody face to face, we are pretty excited to get the hell out of Jacksonville lol

So yeah, that's the update :)

Thirty Things I Want You To Know.

2013-03-30T10:34:00.002-07:00

So I was going through pinterest and ran across this List.
30 Things My Kids Should Know About Me

So... here we go :) Hopefully I can finish this before Madison wakes up lol

The List.

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.

My maiden name is Cook. My mothers- Fallis. Her mothers- Haines.
I was 20 when your father and I got married.
I was 23 when I had you.
We actually planned you- score!
I graduated with honors & a 75% paid tuition scholarship. And was still dumb enough not to use it. I regret it every day.
Probably TMI, but your father was my first, and I his. (hopefully that doesn't scar you...)
I didn't go to my senior prom.
Dad and I started dating my senior year
You dad and I were married in Jacksonville, NC.
We had you, 2 years & 9 months later in Jacksonville.
I'm originally from Cincinnati, OH. (Cleves/Harrison to be exact.)
Moved to Naples, Florida the summer before 6th grade.
I hated that place until I left.
We will be moving to Okinawa Japan in 4 months, when you are 8 months old. We will be there for 3 years.
Auto was how you dad proposed. He asked on Auto's dog tags the day after we got him.
Diesel was supposed to be Daddy's dog... but he liked me more :) Auto became daddy's boy.
I worked in a gyms childcare from 16 years old until I was 3 months pregnant with you. I took a year break in there when I first moved to Jacksonville in 2008. I also took a few months break to work with kids at a community center when I was 17.
I don't mind that you look just like your dad, because you have his eyes. But you still have my cheeks!
My favorite kids movie is and always will be Toy Story. I will strive to make it yours as well.
No matter how amazing a job you think I am or am not doing raising you, I will always think I should have done better.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

Your father and I divorcing. My parents divorced when I was really young and it was a pretty hazy time. Not because I was so young, but because I'd just rather not remember it. I don't want you to have a hazy time. I want you to have all your memories of your father and I be good ones.
You not going to college. I had the opportunity to go to any college in the state of Florida with a 75% paid tuition scholarship. I did use it because I was going to "wait a year". A year later I was engaged to your father and decided to wait because I wanted to get married first. Then I was going to go before I had you. Now I plan on going before having our next baby... but we'll be in Japan so I have a feeling that isn't going to happen either. I want you to be able to support yourself. I can't. We need your father's paycheck to buy food and pay bills. I want to be able to contribute more, but I was too lazy to do anything about it. Now I'm afraid if I try to start college I wont be able to finish because I would either be too focused on that and not enough on you or vis versa.
Honestly I can't really think of a third right now...

3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.

We may seem like we argue a lot, but that's just how we communicate lol. Sounds sad, but it's not. We love each other and I don't know about your dad, but I would be lost without him. There is not one single thing I regret about our relationship, only that I'm not being the best wife that I could be. I know that I am at least good enough for your father, but I want to be more than that. He is my world. We were married young, and we have matured with each other. Bumps have come along the way, big bumps. To be honest there have been times when I almost gave up. I'm sure he has had those moments, too. But we know that this is our happiness.

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

Dump the guy. Don't waste your time. You may be happy, but isn't worth it. He is a liar and he is using you.
Dump that guy, too. There's somebody better coming along and while you were happy, you know you aren't anymore. Yes, he is a good guy. But you can't string somebody along just because you don't have a better reason that "I don't want to anymore", or "I'm afraid of what will happen if I do." Let him go.
Shut up, you are skinny. Wait 7 years and THEN you can complain about those thighs.
Shut up, you will have boobs. Again, wait 7 years. If they go away after that you can totally afford a boob job.
Put down the video games and go outside. Make friends. Stay out late. Go to a party. Being grounded will be worth it. You aren't going to sleep around, you know you don't do drugs, so mom & David yelling at you will so be worth it. You'll regret it if you don't. You're young. Be young.
You're doing great in school, but don't get distracted. Senior year is going to be a pain in the ass. Don't take the AP classes just because you can... you won't pass. Don't take AP Stats just because you can. You will fail and waste your time. Strive, but if you're going to strive actually apply yourself. Don't go half ass.
Stop buying stupid shit. Save up. Still buy the cobalt-- you love it. But don't buy stupid stuff that will give you no return.
If you like him, do something about it. He won't.
Stay in JROTC. Be the leader they know you're going to be able to be. You may be scared, but it's worth it.
Join the volleyball team. Softball team. Any team. Just join, make friends, make memories.

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?

Waking up, rolling over, and seeing you in your bassinet looking up at me with the biggest smile I have ever seen on your face. Eyes glowing.
When you dad comes home with a pint of Ben & Jerry's Red Velvet Ice cream and I didn't even ask him to. It's not the ice cream, it's that he thought about me.
When you take long naps! lol :D
Looking down at the tattoo on my leg (just an outline right now, color on monday!) and seeing you (toddler snow white) getting to meet your grandmother (red bird on your shoulder.) Remember that she is always there.
Mocha Swirl Latte's from Dunkin Donuts

6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?

Be a better mom.
You to grow up well
Your father and I to always be together

7. What is your dream job, and why?

Singer. I love to sing and I just wish I had the courage to do it for other people and actually make money to do it.

8. What are 5 passions you have?

You
My marriage
Baking
Singing
Learning new things

9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

My Aunt Barb- she taught me to love baking
My mother- She may be grumpy but she made me who I am
Your father- he pushes me to do better for myself
Your grandpa- When I thought I couldn't he forced me to see I could
You- when I'm unhappy all I have to do is look at you. Right now I am your everything. To you I can do anything, and you remind me that it's true. I can do anything. For you.
Elijah- All it takes is one call and him shrieking my name to light up my day. It's amazing to think I am still important to somebody even when I'm 1600 miles away.
Uncle Justin- he showed me how to be silly, stupid, and creative.
My Aunt Tracy & Uncle Eddie- they have the marriage I want your father and I to have.
My Aunt Sandy- Taught me how to spoil and not to sweat the small stuff. That life is too short not to laugh about the downfalls.
My Grandmother- The pride she had for where she comes from is unwavering. The reds suck. They always have as long as I can remember. But she never once missed a game on the TV or radio. She watched it, took the loses, and still came back for the next game, glued to the TV. She taught me that pride is important. I will always love where I come from. It will always be my home. I will never stop rooting for the home team because without where you come from you have nothing.

10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.

I've let a room full of strangers look at my girly parts and wipe the poo from my butt while trying to have a baby. There is no shame in my life.

11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

When you father doesn't hear me and instead of saying "what?" he just completely ignores the fact that I said anything -_____-
Toilet paper roll facing OUT, not IN!
Your dad leaving his work stuff covering the table so I have to clean it up to serve dinner.
When the inside of a kids pocket is popped out. When i worked with kids I HAD to push it back in... couldn't take seeing it just hanging out. SO annoying!
When your dad puts the dishes beside the empty sink instead of in it.
When your dad leaves the lid on his tupperware he brought back home from work. Smells awful!
When you dad poops with the door open
People who go exactly 45mph in a 45mpg zone. You can go 5 over granny!
When your dad says he'll take the trash out. Five times. And still doesn't.
Yea we'll just go with your dad xD

12. Describe a typical day in your current life.

Wake up around 3am to change feed you. Back to sleep.
Wake up again around 6am if your dad has work, to feed you. (he changes you.) Back to sleep.
If its a day off, wake up around 8:30-9:30 to feed you
Change you
Put you in your exersaucer or on the floor with some toys so I can eat lunch and check my facebook (shaddap. I'm one of those people.)
Pick you up (aka save you from yourself) because you're screaming bloody murder.
Bath time every other day
Feed you
Nap time!
Mommy does the dishes, walks on some eggs shells to make sure she doesn't wake you up so she can play video games (Sims), watch her shows (Once Upon A Time, Whitney, Last Man Standing) on Hulu, and chat on MilitarySOS.com
You wake up-- More boob for you.
Change you
Exersaucer for you, mama does whatever... mostly saves you from yourself.
More play time. More boobies.
Daddy is home, he takes over you while I make dinner
We eat, while you yell at us because apparently dinner time is also "HEY PAY ATTENTION TO ME NOT YOUR FOOD!" time.
You get some home made baby puree (avacado this week!) and then you scream when I'm done because you want more. Aka youz a fatty.
Booby.
You ace out, mommy plays video games.
You wake up, eat, play time. Momma does whatever
I take a shower while daddy plays with you in our bed.
He takes a shower while I feed you and pray you fall asleep.
You don't.
Dad's asleep, I'm putting a pacifier back in your mouth for a good 30-90 minutes until you fall asleep.
Usually (weeknights) we're all asleep by 11pm. Dad by 9:30.

13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?

Knowing there are so many opportunities you could have had but never took advantage of. And knowing you can't just go back and retry.

14. Describe 5 and weaknesses & strengths you have.

I'm emotional, but caring.
I can get grumpy over stupid shit, but I generally don't stress about the little things past a small hissy fit.
I don't have as much of a sense of humor as your father, but I'm good at ignoring him ;D
I care too much about what other people think, but I can usually leave a good impression on people.
I always want more, but I'm good at telling myself no to unneeded things.

15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.

Your father and I met in highschool through a mutual friend, but never really talked. He joined the Marines, so he was in Pensacola Florida when we really started talking. We talked every single day from the first time he called me. Not one day did we not call each other. A month of that and we started dating. Still talking every single day. I couldn't not talk to him. I couldn't not think about him. Everything I did he was in the back of my mind. 3 months in he told me he loved me. I loved him too, but didn't say it back until a month later. I didn't want to say it too quick and ruin anything. Usually when I would fight with my boyfriend that would be our sign that we were going to break up. When your dad and I fought we would work it out, or walk away until we could work it out. Breaking up was never even an option. I didn't even think of it as an option. I don't know exactly when I knew he was the one, but eventually it was just the way it way if that makes any sense. Like he was that way all along. When we first started talking he told me to put him in my phone as "The One." He is still listed in my phone as that. When we had been together for just over a year he deployed. Before he left he proposed. When he got back we got married.

16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?

Marrying your father
Getting pregnant with you our first try! Then going all but like 3 hours of labor all natural.
Losing 30 pounds during your father's first deployment so I was in the best shape I could be in to have you
Exclusively breastfeeding you (only giving you formula about 3 times?)
Graduating with honors

17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?

Being a wife and mother.

18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?

My ability to take his shit.

19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?

Complete. It's true that you never knew how much love you had in your heart until you have a child.

20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.

Playing softball
Going camping
Playing with my group of friends in the trailer part-- running around the gravel pit, playing in the creek & the woods behind the creek, and going places we weren't supposed to go.

21. Describe your relationship with your parents.

My mom and I don't get along when we're together for too long, but that's because our personalities are so much alike. I love when she comes to visit because she spoils me, but she also helps me a lot with housework and making everything more homey.
I've always been a daddies girl, but ever since my parents divorced it seems like we've grown farther and farther apart. I still like to see him, but we just don't talk that much.
My stepdad and I had a rough start, we still fight, but I know that he is doing the best he can to raise another man's child as his own. I know that he wishes I would call him dad, and I don't know why I can't... I wish I could, and I do write dad sometimes, I just have a hard time saying it in front of him. I don't know why.

22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

5 years- You father says he isn't going to reenlist again. I think he will. So I'll probably be right where we are right now. You eating lunch, me taking care of your 1 year old (PLEASE BE A) brother. Eh, actually we'll probably be on leave in Florida.
You'll be 10, so hopefully at one of your sporting events, with your 6 year old (hopefully) brother playing at his sporting event. I'm hoping to have a bachelors in nutritional science.
Your dad will have been in for 25 years. 5 years away from retirement... so hopefully we're chillin in a big ass house haha You'll be 16, your (hopefully) brother will be 12 so probably at a sporting even of his.

23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?

Thanksgiving. Your grandmother's cooking.

24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?

I love waking up, rolling over in bed, and seeing your eyes gleaming and a huge smile on your face. That is true happiness.
I hate waking up in the middle of my sleep to feed you, and especially hate when you don't want to go back to sleep! Momma loves her sleep.

25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?

Marilyn Monroe. We would go to Serendipity and share a frozen hot chocolate.

26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?

To live a life without sin. I don't believe in doing right by God. I believe in doing right because it is right.

27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

My cheek bones. I love how high they are? lol

28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?

He is an amazing father (when he isn't distracted by video games!)

29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?

Not saying that we WILL buy you a brand new car, pay for your $30,000 wedding, help you put a nice down payment on your first home, but I want to have the option.

30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Good Wife
Great Mother
Loving Person
Somebody you could look up to
Friendliness
My baking/cooking
Good values
Good morals
Who I am
What I've done

and in case you're too lazy to click links, here is the actual list for you to copy & paste without my answers :P

THE LIST:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your spouse.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. If you could have three wishes, what would you wish for?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrassing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. What’s the hardest part of growing up?
14. Describe 5 and weaknesses strengths you have.
15. Describe when you knew your spouse was the one or how I fell in love.
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What do you think your spouse loves most about you?
19. How did you feel the moment you became a parent?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. Describe your relationship with your parents.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. What’s your favorite holiday and why?
24. What’s your favorite and least favorite thing about parenthood?
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What’s your favorite quality in your spouse?
29. What are your hopes and dreams for your prosperity?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

I'll tell ya what I want, what I really really want.

2013-03-22T10:43:00.002-07:00

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/amanda-king/stay-at-home-parent_b_2558642.html

The above article has been on my news feed several times the past couple days, and it sparked me into wanting to make a related blog for my own personal "what I mean". I should be giving Madison a bath, but she just ate so I need to let her sit up right for a short while anyway, or the bath will have been useless lol

So, basically the article is what it means when a mother tells her husband she needs a break. It goes on about how that break doesn't really mean a reprieve from being a mother or wife, but more of a reprieve from not getting anything done. THAT is what 99% of women mean.

I have breaks during the day, yes. 1 hour every 3 hours. Heck, right now I'm on the computer and it isn't even during that 1 hour ever 3 hour I just talked about. She's playing. With that said, right now and during her naps I am still not fully able to relax. I have to get things done, and I have to get them done quickly. I never know when that 1 hour nap is going to be a thirty minute nap, or a "gotcha! I'm not really tired!" and there goes my "break".

What I need is that hour to myself. Fully, 100% myself. To know that even if she cries or need something, you are there to fix it for me. I can take a shower, do my hair, cook dinner without running from the stove to the pacifier and back to the stove again. Oh and then back to put the pacifier back in. I can do whatever I want/need to do for one whole hour and I don't have to take care of anybody but myself, and I don't have to worry about somebody crying for me to change their butt, pick them up, lay them down. Nothing. Just me.

I want to be able to take a shower and not have to look out the curtain to make sure she's still entertaining herself. I want to sing my favorite song in my big girl voice, not my favorite song with baby analogies substituted in my baby voice.

I want to be able to cook dinner and not have to worry about burning something because she keeps dropping her pacifier. I want to impress you with my culinary prowess, and if I'm working on something that I have to hover over I don't need the added stress of making sure I'm where I need to be before stuff boils over and so does she.

I want to be able to look and feel like a woman instead of a mother. I want to put my hair down, and brushed. Not up in a pony tail or messy bun. I want eyeliner and mascara on. I want to wear perfume and genuinely feel like I am attractive. No, I don't feel ugly in my messy bun and "au naturale" look, but nobody wants to bang Sarah Silverman when they can have Angelina Jolie. (No offence, Sarah.)

Three little things. I don't want to go out and drink with my friends (I mean, that wouldn't hurt... but I'm fine with that only once in a blue moon.) I don't want to live it up. I don't want to watch TV while you do all the dirty work. I want to be able to be a human being.

**This is not me saying Mark doesn't let me do that. He does. I'm just putting it to paper.

I Love You So, That's what I Say

2013-02-27T11:14:00.000-08:00

&& I'll tell her that every single day!

I'm trying to multitask, so as usual this shit is gunna be all over the place.

My gorgeous little Madi sunshine is fast approaching 4 months old D: Within the next week or so we're going to be buying an exersaucer so she can start really working on them leg muscles. She hates tummy time, yes I'm a bad mommy and don't make her to things that just result in endless tears after 2 minutes lol. So we will resort to other methods of developing those future olympianesq muscles!

My dad came to visit. Aka I quit my diet haha we went out to eat like every dang night-- poor Mark was eating like a regular McFatterton for dinner every night (he tried to keep it healthy, but when you go out to eat you can only resist so much!) and nearly lost his mind looking in the mirror. I saw zero changes but he SWORE he was getting fat lol anyhooters... now we're back to normal. I can pop my boobies out in the middle of my living room once again!

Madison is napping and she just farted. Just thought you would want to know. She's good at that, btw. She doesn't even flinch. Just "tooot pooot blrrpt", not a care in the world. My little lady :D

Hmm lets see... IT SNOWED! Yaaaay! And we got to put Madison in her snow suit haha! She was adorable. She loooved the snow suit, but once we started taking pictures she got a little deer in highlight-y xD

Oh and we got our dates for Japan :O
We leave on or around July 18th. I'm not sure how that works... the paper says July 18th but idk if that means we leave or we arrive. Whatevz.. on or around July 18ths we will no longer be on 'merican soil. I'm not sure if that's good or not yet. Stay tuned lol I hear it's awesome, but luckily? now we get to be the judge of that!

Well that didn't last long... she's awake again (and trying to roll over in her swing and eat it lol)
Bye!

How Sweet It Is To Be Loved By You.

2013-01-17T11:14:00.002-08:00

Yep, I'm back to the monthly posts... maybe one day I'll be able to post more often... yeah okay lol.

Madison Brianna is now 2 months old!...and 4 days to be exact :P Yesterday she had her two month shots and ohhh my lawd I was NOT prepared for that. She screamed so loud and I mean that part wasn't that bad for me, but I made the fatal mistake of looking at her mouth and it broke my heart to actually SEE her screaming. Hearing I could take, but not seeing. I almost cried but I sucked it up lol Luckily she only screamed for like thirty seconds or I might have lost it... I'm making Mark take her next time lol I'll just leave the room for that part!

She's starting to talk now. Well... not actual talking, but baby coos. It is the cutest thing in the entire world! She mostly gets talkative at night. She will be in her swing and Mark and I will be watching TV and she'll just start jabbering away!

She can actually lift her head & chest up, too... mind you she wont do it on her tummy time mat (apparently tummy time mats are only for crying) but she will when she's on it with her boppy, or laying on my chest! She holds her head steady as well.

Yesterday she hardcore discovered her hands. I walked out to the car, Mark had already put her in her car seat, and as I walked past her to get to the passenger seat I peeked in and her finger was right up on her nostril and she was just starring at it like "wtf are you doing in there" haha Then last night she started sucking on her fist like a mad woman (not out of hunger). Putting her to sleep I could barely keep her paci in her mouth because she kept trying to suck on her fist through the pacifier lol I'm excited for her to discover her thumb, but only so i don't have to keep putting her paci back in her mouth and we can transition to the crib easier. After she can keep her pacifier in her mouth long enough for her to fall into a deep enough sleep, that thumb better hit the road!

She's wearing 3 month onsies now. She can still fit in her newborn pants (well... capris now haha), but she's in size 1 diapers. I'm pretty sure she'll be moving over to 2 here soon. She's already 14 lbs and 8oz as of yesterday. Ones only go up to 14 lol And we JUST bought a huge thing of size 1 diapers... I'm probably going to return them for twos.

And now for some pretty big news... Yesterday DH got web orders for a PCS... no, we aren't going to Virginia like his gunny originally said. And we aren't going to California like we wanted to. That only leaves one place! 日本! (I'm hoping google was right on that, btw lol) We're going to Japan :O According to his web orders, he is being processed out of his current squadron in June for his month of leave, then sometimes in July we're assuming is when Mark, Madison, and myself make the voyage to Okinawa, Japan. We will be there for 3 years :O

I'm on the fence about it all. Initially & ultimately I am excited, there are just those big negatives that I hate about it. Madison wont be around our family but once a year until she's almost 3 years old for one. Also, our dogs will have to stay behind. I'm sure we could take Diesel if we wanted to pay for it, but he would be miserable without Auto so we are just leaving them both with my parents.

Mark wasn't happy about it at all when he first found out he was getting orders, but now he's fine with it. He sees this as a fresh start. We have to sell the cars & the house so we will have zero debt (minus the loans we will have to take out to cover our negative equity on the home we just bought three years ago and the car we just bought 5 months ago, but that beats a 120k home loan and 20k car loan lol) We have one of our cars paid off, so we will get a nice chunk to pay off the rest of our debt, and we will be selling a lot of the things we aren't taking with us like our spare bedroom's furniture (we only get a two bedroom, so we wont have a place for it.)

Today a realtor is coming over to talk to us about what to do to sell our house fast (because he only have five months to do it!) I'm hoping this house sells as fast as it did when we bought it. We made an offer on it (along with like 4 other offers) before it was even officially listed with the old owner's realtor so here's hoping! And here's so, hopefully, an amazing experience!

Hush Little Baby, Don't Say A Word.

2012-12-20T14:35:00.001-08:00

You've guessed it... she's sleeping. I've cleaned and have free time! It's a Christmas Miracle!

So... if you're a mother you might remember when baby is a newborn and just sleeps all day long. You have to wake them for feedings otherwise they'll sleep themselves into starvation. At least that's how Madison was. Well she's out of that stage. I bet my husband remembers me saying "I wish she'd be awake for longer during the day, I'm bored!" Yeah I take that back. Sleep. Sleep longer. Sleep more.

How the hell do you bitches do this!? No wonder breast feeding moms lose so much weight... we're to busy feeding them to feed ourselves! I have had a greek yogurt and a little carton of cottage cheese with pineapple. I have been awake for eight hours and am running off of yogurt and cottage cheese with a sliver of fruit. What. Thee. Heck.

I legit have to choose between cleaning and eating most days.... that is if I don't have to use the bathroom. Then I have to add that to my options. Lord forbid I have to go number two... (yes, it takes that long to go number two most days... another joy of postpartum recovery.) Then even if the house looks like a tornado with paw prints went through it I'm screwed. Bathroom and (if I'm lucky enough to have any) a bag of chips is all I get. But we're going healthier, so I pretty much get nothing but yogurt & cottage cheese w/ fruit all day until Mark is home to watch her while I cook dinner. Cooking has become my me time. Not even showering is me time... why? Because I'm lucky TO shower! I am so glad that it is winter and I don't have to be active... otherwise people probably wouldn't be able to stand within twenty yards of me without thinking I'm smuggling a dead body.

But, down to the good stuff. My sweet little baby butt. No, not my actual butt. Ain't nothing baby about that thing yet-- can't work out yet! Here's hoping I get the okay tomorrow, though!! Madison is 5 weeks and 2 days old. Precious baby girl x3 She's starting to smile, too! Her favorite thing to smile at is when I say mama or dada/daddy :D You can tell she's trying to learn, too. She'll stare so intently as I'm talking to her, trying to figure out how the heck I'm doing that haha. She's starting to use little baby words, too. Not too many, just like two. Mostly when she's bored and I'm trying to have "me" time (yeah right, ME time haha okay!). She'll yell out a quick little "eh" or "na" sound here and there when she wants to be addressed :P

She also loves sitting in her little baby activity chair. 4 months and up my butt. I put that thing together last night and she sat in there happy as a clam for a good twenty minutes. She put on the BIGGEST smile I've seen, too, after I put her in. We would have stayed longer but I decided to get her out to do other things. This morning I put her in it again and she sat there for ten minutes, I went to take her out so she could eat and she yelled at me lol She didn't cry-- and it wasn't for food even though it was time for a feeding. She literally yelled lol I put her back in and boom. Happy baby once more. Apparently she's taking that 4 months and up they put on the box as a person insult/challenge. She's pretty good at holding her head up for the most part, but the back of the chair is so high for her right now it holds it forward enough so when she lets her head go back a little it stops it. Of course I'm right there if she loses control of her head, but other than that I really don't have to touch her. She's so biggggg! I'm really glad she likes that chair-- she's not a huge fan of tummy time so she doesn't do it nearly as often as she should. Whoops.

Oh gosh.. and she has a poop face. I think she got it from Mark. When she goes you can definately tell. It's rather loud xD Daddy is proud of the noises that come out of that bottom. I'm so glad I decided to breast feed... because I'm afraid of what that thing would smell like if it were made from forumla lol. I mean, it don't smell like cherry blossums, but it's a "sweet" kind of smell rather than a "OMFG WHAT DIED" kind of smell that I'm used to from when I worked with kids lol. Mark always makes this face when she goes in his arms... and she mimics it perfectly lol It kills me when she does it. She doesn't do it EVERY time, but she still does it pretty often. That being said... I cannot wait for the whole not pooping everyday thing to happen that BF babies have once they're a bit older. It should be starting here soon and I cannot wait. At first the little stinker would go EVERYTIME she was fed. That's every two hours during the day... no bueno.

Oh! And she's sleeping through the night already! I decided to stop waking her once she hit her birth weight (at her two week appointment). The pediatrician, of course, was all "oh no, keep waking her every two-four hours!" Uhm... yeah she doesn't want to eat every two-four hours at night. She wants to sleep. Much like her mother. So she usually gets her last feeding at 9, then we go to bed. She'll wake me up about 5 hours later, I'll lose my mind trying to get her back to sleep for about an hour and half, and then she'll wake me again about 4 hours later. Then 3 hours later... then I decide okay I guess we can wake up since it's 10 o'clock lol Momma is lazy and thankfully so is her baby :D But I fixed the curtains so she usually wants to be up for the day around 8am now... I guess I can deal with the normal 8 hours of sleep :P (she'll stay awake 1 1/2 hours to 2 hours after every feeding like a booger.) I'm unbelievably lucky to get what I DO get. I realize most babies, this young, will wake you up every 2-3 hours all through the night. Madison for the win!

Madison Brianna Justice

2012-11-30T03:51:00.001-08:00

Madison Brianna Justice was born at 0839 November 13th, 2012 at Camp Lejeune Naval Hospital. She was 21 inches long, and weighed 8 lbs 1 oz. She had 5 little fingers, 5 little toes, and one perfect little face.

My baby girl is here. She is 2 weeks and 3 days old right now. In her swing after a feeding, giving out hiccups and fighting off sleep like a champ. I guess that seems like a good time to update my blog. That is, if she'll let me. She's currently cooing like she might have other plans, but we'll try.

I am a mom. My husband is a father. What the hell is going on!? How did we make her? How did we do that!? It's so strange to look at her and think that 10 months ago I didn't even know she was in there. Granted, she was barely in there, but she was there. The size of the tip of a pen. She was MAYBE a week into gestation, but she was there. 9 months ago she was nothing but a little pink line on a stick, and now she is a little pink and zebra print bundle with little pink zebra socks to match (well, if they would stay on her feet that is.) She's already grown nearly an inch since birth. She was down to 7 lbs 3 oz when we left the hospital (she was 3 days old when we left) and now she's already up to 8 lbs 7 oz.

Uht oh. Here comes the cry for for food. Well that was short lived. I guess I'll add more later lol

Now he's wrapper around her finger, she's the center of his whole world.

2012-11-16T21:56:00.006-08:00

Guess what I can do? I can have a baby! And boy is it uncomfortable lol I'm still pretty set on waiting those 4 years. Mark would have me pop another one out in 9 months if he had his way, I'm sure lol.

I'm feeling lazy, duh. A lot going on, so I'll write more on this later in regards to after getting home and all that, but here is my labor story that I posted on a forum I'm a part of :)

Born November 13th, 2012.
She was 8 pounds, 1 oz & 21 inches long.

So, as some of you know, I made this thread (clicky) on Monday night. Most of that entire day I was having painless contractions starting at ten minutes apart and gradually getting closer and closer. I took a hot bath that night, and they were still running at 5 minutes apart. Since they weren't painful at all, I decided to get some rest and see how I felt when I woke up.

About 2:30am DH came to bed (Halo just came out a week before ), got into bed, and pretty much right as he got comfortable I felt like something was going to happen. Almost like I was about to have a lot of discharge or a big ass chunk of my plug was coming out... which I had already lost so.... I got on all fours to get out of bed easier, said "I think something is about to happen...", stood up, and then said "Yep. Something is happening." I felt a pop, then a gush. Luckily I made it to the shower quickly so by the time it soaked through I was in there. Then it kept coming. Holy cow I didn't realize that I would be "peeing" myself for the next 17 or so hours. I thought you water broke and boom that was that o.O

So water broke, woke up DH (well, said hey "DH" lol since he had JUST closed his eyes), woke up momma, and we got our stuff together to leave. Got halfway to the hospital, and realized I forgot my purse at the house... yeah you need that lol So went back, headed to the hospital again and DH decided it would be the perfect time to fill up the tank. Whatever, contractions still aren't painful, just barely starting to feel anything with them now. Got gas, and THEN went to Naval.

They checked me, and I was admitted about 4-4:30am. I was still 1cm >:/

Once I was all IV'd and good to go they were pretty limited on my cervical checks, since my water had already broken, to reduce the change of introducing anything harmful and causing infection. That's when time started to fly by. They checked me around 7, and I was STILL only 1cm. By then my water had been broken for about 4 1/2 hours, so we went ahead and did a Foley Bulb. Half an hour later, plop, the foley bulb had fell out (which it's supposed to do, btw. They put weight at the end of it in order to manually dilated you. It's supposed to take you to 4 or 5 cm) So I was checked again, and yaaay I was at 4 1/2-5cm. They decided to check me again a few hours later... still a friggin 5 >:/ so we discussed pitocin. Since I wanted to go natural I was at a very low dose for a few hours. Checked again... STILL A FRIGGIN 5 >:( At that point the contractions had started to hurt but I was pretty content still with baring through them. As time went on it got worse and worse. I didn't have any more checks while they were upping the pitocin. After a few hours of low dose pitocin they checked and I still wasn't progressing. At all. Still a 5. So started slowly upping my pitocin level every half an hour. I couldn't take the pain anymore. About 4pm the pain was just too much, so I asked for a pain management IV. It took like fifteen minutes for my nurse to get the pharmacy to place the order, and it was going to take about 15-30 minutes for it to get to me. A few minutes after she came back and told me the order was in and it would be about 15-30 minutes the pain had pretty much double. I could. Not. Take. it. She was handling my contractions and the pitocin perfectly, like nothing had changed from when I first got there, but I was shaking pretty bad from the pain. I worried that I was putting too much stress on her since I had started hyperventalating with the contractions and my legs and hands had started going numb from it. Until that point, I was perfectly content taking the pain. I could not take 15-30 more minutes of that. I asked how long it would take for the epidural to be put in and she said she could get somebody to me within ten minutes because there was only one other mother in labor at the time and she already had hers. I couldn't do it. I asked for the epidural and dreaded every minute it took to get to me. All like five minutes of it lol. So... little ole "I'm TOTALLY doing it natural, no doubt" me said fuhkit and got the Epidural. For those of you who plan to go natural, do NOT be me. Inform yourself. Read about it. If you swear up and down you 100% aren't getting it, read up on it anyway. I was 100% confident in that I would not get the epidural. If I hadn't been in labor for so long, if I had actually progressed, I feel like I could have... but I was in pain for just way too long for me to take. I got the Epidural and was able to take a nap. Around 7 o'clock they did a shift change. By 7:15pm I had my new nurse, and a LOT of pressure. I was checked, and I was fully dilated, and she was pretty low but my nurse thought I would be pushing for awhile if I started now, so she helped me elevate myself a little to help drop her more before I started pushing. My new nurse was with me for all of fifteen minutes? before I told her, Nowp, I need to start pushin'. She wanted me to wait until the pressure was consistent, even without contractions, but they were too strong during the contractions for me to stop, so I decided to risk pushing for longer and get the ball rolling. I started pushing around 7:45pm. They thought for sure, before I started pushing, that I would be pushing for at least a couple hours. By the third push every contraction I was REALLY out of breath, but I was making a lot of progress with every push. I was able to watch with the mirror once she started to crown, which really helped me to focus. Hooolly hair. Everywhere. (but not on me, I commented on how well a job I did shaving and gave myself a pat on the back between contractions lol) Between contractions we would talk and all that, it was really a great experience. I wasn't able to count how many times I had to push, and I forgot to ask somebody else. Whoops. A little less than an hour of pushing-- at 8:39pm she was here. Apparently my Ritz Carlton of a vagina that Madison didn't want to come out of was fully stocked with an awesome security staff for those troublesome guests who don't want to leave :D

I tore on the inside, I think I heard second degree? in three different spots. I've had a total of oh IDK 6 hours of sleep since she was born and honestly, while year I'm a little tired, I'm pretty content getting three hours of sleep a night lol As far as after delivery, Camp Lejeune actually has pretty good food lol Their scrambles eggs look a bit sketchy, but I'm not much for eggs anymore anyway so noo biggy :P I had this awesome chicken for lunch one day... couldn't cut it with the plastic knife, so I had to use my teeth to just bite it, but it was still really good lol And then I had Veal Parm for dinner after that. AH MAH GAHD it was soooo goooddd lol

Breastfeeding is going pretty good, I think. She lost 5% of her birth weight, so that's good, she's getting enough. It just hurts. Her bottom jaw goes in quiet a bit compared to where her top lip is so she's having trouble keeping at good latch... hurts like a mofo for me, but ultimately if she's getting what she needs I can bare the pain until we work through figuring out getting her a good latch. She always tries to sleep during feeding. Even if she is awake for awhile beforehand the second she's on the boob, boom, sleep. I have to constantly wake her >:/ She doesn't really cry, and when she does it's only for like... sixty seconds or less yaaaaay. She sleeps. A lot. The pediatrician said she didn't seem jaundiced at all, but the nurse said she thinks she is so idk I think she's a little yellow, but nothing crazy IMO. She hasn't had her "marathon" feeding yet. When she eats it usually ten minutes a side, or sometimes she'll get froggy and go 15-20 on one and then fall too deep asleep for me to go to the other side.

I'm getting in my upper body work out lol My lateral muscles (sides) and my triceps (granny flap lol) are sooo sore from me lifting myself up out of chairs and the bed. and my butt is sooo heavy after sitting for awhile. The doctors were fairly surprised at how fast I was up and walking around, though. The first time they came in the guys was visibly shocked that I was up and about lol My butt hurts too much if I just sit or lay there, so I gotta get up! lol My feet are swollen like a mofo, I have no ankles, and my calfs are pretty swollen, too. I didn't think my hands were swollen, but I just tried to put my rings back and and no dice. Couldn't go over the middle knuckle lol

So yeah... I think that's the whole story... I keep getting distracted (not by her, she's been sleeping this whole time lol As usual.) Now lets hope this booger wakes up for me and eats >_>

Have you seen the Ghost of John...

2012-10-15T15:51:00.002-07:00

long white bones with the flesh all goooooneeee wooahhaoooaahhooohohhhoh. Wouldn't it be chilly with no-skin-on-BOO!
That was always my favorite song to sing in elementary school around halloween :P

I have been a home owner for two years, and have yet to convince Mark to let me decorate. Until this year! Yaaay! Thanks to a few friends, but hey it got the job done. Houston, we have pumpkins! We went to a place in town called Mike's Farm. Hiiighly recommended. If you're in Jacksonville, to drive straight past Ellis airport and it'll be on your left. They have an amazing restaurant as well that is open every so often. I would assume they are in season right now so the weekends they should be open more often than the other times of year. In total, we got three large pumpkins, and one Madison pumpkin ❤ I'm not sure if I'm going to carve them so they're just sitting out on my porch for now, chillin. I might just find some glow puff paint and decorate them that way. I was going to make a cute little pumpkin family, but lets face it... I am not going to sit down and do all that lol I fully intended... just like I fully intend to do all that other stuff I've got pinned.

And (unfortuately) this year, Mark won't be able to take leave for Christmas so guess who gets a christmas treeeeee. THIS GIRL! Ahh I'm so excited. We'll be gone for New Years, instead, since the Marine Corp is ridiculous and expects us to be back ON christmas day if we take Christmas leave... I repeat: ridiculous.

And about that baby. I am 36 weeks along now, and definately feeling it. I cannot even turn over in bed without feeling like my pelvis is going to rip in two. Walking sucks. Bending over sucks. Everything except sitting in this recliner being a lazy SOB sucks. I am sooo over all of this-- but my momma will be here at the end of next week so storm troop on, little lady! I cannot WAIT for the help she'll be able to put in before and after Madison gets here. To end this on a positive note: I can eat chicken again without wanting to throw it back up! Winner winner chicken dinnerrr!!

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends...

2012-09-23T11:10:00.001-07:00

& Pinterest ;D

I was skimming pinterest, waiting for the call to head to base to pick up my husband after two & a half weeks away at training (woohoo!), when I came across this:

The Fun Cheap or Free Queen: "You're Welcome" Wednesday tip: Keep your house cl...

Amaaaazingg! I mean, I know it's simple, I know you could have probably thought of it yourself... but lets be honest-- did you? No. So shut up and pay attention ;)

Basically it's a go-to list for how to keep your home looking guud on a daily basis without having to clean everything on a daily basis. I know that I'll have to add vacuuming more than twice a week, especially not going the weekend without it; my dog seems to forget that hair is supposed to be on him, not all over my house in ever nook, cranny, crevice, and open area visible and invisible by the naked eye.

I looked over the list and honestly-- apart from vacuuming, dusting, and the occassional surface clean I RARELY do any of the others. I loathe laundry. It doesn't mention dishes though-- but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to do those every day (not that I do lol)

You're welcome :)

Update on the little bloomin' lovey-- I'm 33 weeks today :) My anxiety has sky rocketed, though I'm sure it's because Mark has been gone since the beginning of the month. Exhaustion is hitting me like a ton of bricks, but if I stay on my feet I'm fine. Only problem with that? When I'm on my feet for a long period of time my sciatic nerve starts looking mighty appealing to my uterus and one false move and I'm being stabbed in the ass by a pinched nerve. Yaaaaay pregnancy!

It is so crazy (& nerve wracking) to think that in less than two months Madison will be sleeping in my arms or (hopefully) latched onto me like a leech. I cannot wait to see her. Every time I see a little girl out in public, or roaming across the internet I wonder what Madison will look like. It's the worst when it's a little girl that looks like she COULD have came from Mark and I's genes... especially that adorable little girl on the pinterest little girls hair tutorial pin... gets me every time.

She has the hiccups nearly every night, now. You can see my belly move with each one. She doesn't kick nearly as much, but boy does she shake her booty like a little Shakira lol It makes me smile thinking that how close she is to me-- but it feels like I'll never get to have her in my arms. It's too far away. But it's also way too soon. We still haven't even begun finishing the nursery. I haven't really done much of anything since I put her closet together. Fashion first, right? ;)

Wake me up when September Ends.

2012-09-06T14:51:00.000-07:00

Yes, I went there on you. I went to Green Day.

I woke up at 5:30am this morning. Why, you ask? Because I had the pleasure of dropping my husband off at his squadron so he could leave me for two and a half weeks >:/ He'll be in Colorado until the end of the month and I get to hang out here, by myself. Including on my birthday. But there is hope... my aunts are sending me homemade fudge. A batch of chocolate with walnuts and a batch of Peanut butter. Ah mah gahd I'm so damn excited to get that delivery.

I already got two birthday presents :) My mom got me closet organizers for the baby's nursery and a glider. She said there was two more packages after I got the organizers, but I'm thinking maybe she thought the glider would come in two parts-- the chair & the ottoman.

In the next week or two I'll be ordering the dresser, and then the following payday the armoire :) Then all we need to do is hang curtains and get the mobile. The crib was still in processing for another week, otherwise it would have been here this week. Hopefully those bitches email me again soon saying it's being shipped out. I'm not terribly worried about it getting here after the baby. I plan on having her sleep next to the bed until I get used to her feeding schedule, anyway.

I think after this I'm going to try and fix the night light I used as a child. It's a little bear in a a blue sleeping gown with stars on it. I just have to remember where I put it lol I think it's in our closet, but when I looked yesterday I didn't see it. It's in some closet somewhere in this house, that's all I know.

My best friend came to visit me last week. She left Tuesday. We had tons of fun, and I found her a man... well I pointed her to one. She chose the one standing next to him haha. We went to the beach, the aquarium, and bought her anti-nausea medicine when she was hangover for an entire day lol. Oh, and then I almost made her miss her flight so we ended up FedExing her luggage. Whoopsies! She's already making plans to come back when Madison gets here :)

So here I am. 30 weeks 4 days pregnant, chillin' with my two dogs, watching a lifetime movie about a pregnant 15 year old, my husband two time zones away, and doing light cleaning to kill time between facebook game recharging. Oh the life of a military wife.

It's Been Awhile...

2012-08-19T12:53:00.001-07:00

Since I blogged :-o

Sorry I went AWOL! It's been nearly two months since I posted. A lot has been going on, and frankly I didn't have the heart to write. Too much too say and not enough will power to do so.

I'll start on the negative note. Under two months ago, the main reason I've been putting off posting, something devastating happened. We were on leave for the 4th of July, in Florida. We stopped on the 29th of June in Orlando to see DH's family. We were supposed to stay the whole weekend, but only ended up staying for the night and then taking off the very next morning, probably about 45 minutes after waking up.

I woke up on the 30th and had several missed calls on my phone. Not a good sign. Well, I called my sister and found out the last thing I expect to hear. My grandmother had passed. She wasn't the healthiest of people, being overweight, but she wasn't sick. She had woken up early that morning, and collapsed. It seems so unreal, even now, that she isn't there. More than unreal, it's probably one of the hardest things I had to accept that she would never hold my little girl. She had been waiting for another girl in the family for sixteen years. She was sooo happy when I told her that I would be having a girl. It kills me that Madison will never truly know my grandmother. Her great grandmother.

Now lets try and get a bit more positive. Officially, as of today, I am now in the third trimesterrr!! Yaaay! Her nursery is (almost) painted. There's just a little spot left where Mark ran out of paint :) The crib is on it's way, as is the bedding and changing table! And the room is pretty stocked full of everything we will need, because guess who got a surprise baby showerrr? This girrrlll :P

So, I went to Ohio earlier this month. Funny story, I had an anxiety attack on the damn plane. Yep, that would happen to me. First one this entire pregnancy, worst one I've ever had, scared the ever-loving shit out of me. BUT, it was quick and I felt fine right afterwards, so they let me fly on. Last time I'll fly in a very long time, though, I'll say that much. Pregnant or not. Obviously I'm not flying any more while pregnant, though lol. I couldn't even if I wanted to. So I landed in Ohio, drove to my grandmother's house (I think I'll always call it her house...) to be greeted by the family who was supposed to be there, no biggie. But, look around? Decorations, "Its a Girl!", and a corner of the living room swamped in presents wrapped in paper with pictures of rattles, bows, and baby feet ♥ I got nearly everything on my registry. I'm so grateful that everybody was so generous. I knew she would be spoiled but goodness, this baby girl will want for nothing. I can see it now lol.

So, that's about what I've got going for me right now. Finally, I updated this. Hopefully I can keep everybody posted more from here on out now that I got all of this out of the way.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot.

2012-06-25T17:00:00.001-07:00

No, seriously. Do it. I know you've got more.. Yes more. Because I JUST felt her kick!!

Okay, that's really all I have to write about... I just wanted to document it lol

Don't Stop Believing.

2012-06-19T14:17:00.001-07:00

So, now that Mark and I know what is going on, I feel comfortable sharing this with everybody who wasn't aware anything was evening wrong.

A month ago I was flagged for Trisomy 21. That is how we found out Madison was a girl at 17 weeks rather than during my original 20 week scan we had scheduled; we needed an ultrasound to narrow down the likelihood that Madison would be born with Down Syndrome. Going into the geneticist we were told that from my blood test they had noticed an abnormally large presence of one of the four hormones that are released during pregnancy. With what they saw, they put Madison in a 1 in 40 chance for Down Syndrome. After speaking to the geneticist we were sent for the second tier; an ultrasound. Everything measured perfectly, but there were two soft markers. Soft markers are common finding in babies with Down Syndrome. The first soft marker was a Choroid plexus cyst in the baby's brain. This would not affect the baby's brain, and they are found in perfectly healthy babies. They typically go away on their own. They also found a dark spot in the heart, typically they are calcium build ups. Also, the baby's heart would not be affected by this, and perfectly healthy children have this as well, but it is a soft marker. These two soft markers brought her chance of being born with Down Syndrome to 1 in 20.

After that we were sent into a consultation room. We were told about the soft markers, and asked if we had decided if we were going to go ahead with Amniocentesis. Amnio testing does have a risk of miscarriage, I had already researched it, and I was not okay with that so I declined immediately. Earlier in the appointment we were told about a test, MaterniT21. It was another blood test. They would take my blood, thus no potential for harm to the baby, and from that they could find DNA from the baby to count chromosomes. It is 95-99% effective in diagnosis Trisomy 21, more towards 95% for Trisomy 18, and about 65% for Trisomy 13. They weren't concerned about 18 or 13, just 21, so I agreed to have that test done. I was told it would take two weeks for the test results to come back, and they did. Today.

Today I got a call. The area code was Wilmington, where my appointment was, so I knew exactly what they were calling to tell me. They were calling to tell me whether my baby was going to be born with Down Syndrome or not.

On or around November 11th, 2012 I will have a baby girl. Her name will be Madison Brianna J. and she will be beautiful and 100% healthy. I nearly cried on the phone, but I pulled it together. The tests came back negative for all forms of Trisomy. She will be a normal, healthy baby girl. I felt in my heart that everything was fine, but it feels so much better to have that reassurance.

Give Me All Your Luvin'

2012-06-15T12:11:00.001-07:00

Say hello to Madison Brianna. Yep, you got that right, it's a girl! We found under unfortunate circumstances, which I'm not going to discuss with anybody other than those who are already aware of the situation, so please do not press the issue. I will not talk about it right now. Soon enough, people. Soon enough. I will say that the ultrasound went very well, all things considered. She is measuring exactly where she should be.

More good news: I don't feel like hell anymore! Hip hip horray! I've cleaned the house like 3 times this week... that's every other day... that's like 2 times more than usual. And 3 times more when I was in the middle of Morning Sickness hell. My house is now clean on a daily basis... that deserves a drink-- oh wait.

I haven't thrown up in at least two weeks. As long as I stay away from too much dairy, and little to no eggs or chicken I'm good to go.

In under three weeks I'll be getting another ultrasound, in Florida, with my family. My mother is getting us a 4D ultrasound, which I'm super excited about. I love seeing her move around, which she does. Alot. I just pray that she stays a she!

I'm also feeling her move on a daily basis. Not big moves, just kicks-- mostly after food because apparently I'm growing a porker. A butthole of a porker, too. Daddy's chili? Kick. Momma's taco pie? Nada.... an hour after Momma's taco pie she grabs applesauce and THAT makes her happy. Really!? Whatevs... guess somebody is already a Daddy's Girl. I will win her over with kisses, and hugs, and clothes when the time comes. Your days are numbered, Daddy.