Behind the Camera and Dreaming

my motherhood

2013-05-16T11:30:00.004-05:00

You may have noticed that things look a little different around here over the last month, that is, if you visit this blog regularly. I am still working out the tweaks and getting everything set back in place, it takes me forever, but Ashley at Dinosaur Stew made this dreamy design JUST for me. She is so talented and really easy to work with.

While getting a new design is fun, it also makes me think about what exactly I want this blog to be. I KNOW that I want it to be a place where I gather all my memories and document Jonah, motherhood, and the special bits of our life. I want to showcase my growth in photography and continue to expand my skill set.
More than that, I want it to be a place where people can come to really get to know me, as a mother, as a friend, a sister, a daughter, a working mom, and as a woman of faith. I want all of that to show in all that I am, all that I write, and in every moment I capture with my camera.

So, I want to start talking a little more, just getting to know me, why I blog, where I come from, my heart, etc. It's kind of scary because I know some of my real life friends and family read occasionally and I like being able to hide behind this computer because there are things I put out there that I would never just bring up in casual conversation, but I know that really shouldn't hold me back.

So, tonight since I promised more from Mother's Day, here we go on my motherhood. Where I am as a mom a year and a half after the birth of my first child.

I can honestly say, everyday, I am happy to be a mother. Not one day or hour really goes by that I think of what life would be like not being a mom. I know that isn't true for everyone, but I was ready. God prepared my heart leading up to becoming pregnant. I've written before that it felt like he was just waiting for me to say "okay, I'm ready". I truly believe that his timing is perfect. Sometimes I wish I would have started younger but I know without a doubt that things were suppose to happen the way they did.

Now even with perfect timing, I'd be lying if I said that I felt totally prepared or knowledgeable about raising a child, because that's a big negative. Even with years of training and practice in behavioral therapy, human development, and stages of growth I am still sometimes clueless. It really is different when it's your own child. I think that's where my confidence in myself and self doubt start to really show.

I had a conversation with my sister and mom just last week about not knowing what to do about some of Jonah's behaviors and even considering the option of spanking him when time out isn't an option. Now, I know that's a controversial topic and maybe a conversation for a different day, but it just goes to show that you never really know who you will be as a parent until you are put into those challenging situations.

As much as I adore my child he can sometimes be a challenge. I like to think that I'm calm and easy going with him and know when to just let something go, but the truth is I'm not. I yell sometimes. Mostly words like "no" and "stop _____" insert whatever he is doing or "owwww no!" like yesterday when he bit me in the back of my leg.

A couple of months ago I read the book Unglued by Lysa Terkhurst. I can identify a lot with most of it. The feeling of saying or doing something then immediately regretting. I feel like I'm past some of my unglued behaviors, but there are certainly plenty I still need to work on. (note to self: reread and put some of her suggestions into practice)

On the opposite side of my failures and the pieces of motherhood that I lack, I feel like my baby knows without a shadow of a doubt that I love him. I say it to him about a thousand times a day and that will never stop. Most of the time I am in awe of motherhood. I am thankful that God gave me motherhood. How can a bond be so strong and pulling at you all the time?

I feel like I'm suppose to be a mother to more than just this one little boy, but that's where it ends. I don't know beyond that, I'm not there yet. For now, I'm doing the best I can with this one little treasure and just waiting to see what comes next.

linking with Thankful Thursday & Mommy Memoirs

What's so great about breakfast in bed?

2013-05-14T06:00:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day. I really do. It's a big deal. Mom should be celebrated. She's the most awesome human in your life. So please celebrate her!

I wasn't hoping or really expecting much of a hooplah because that's really not my husband's style, I'm usually in charge of all the hooplah around here. So, occasions meant for me are usually pretty low key. That's fine with me. I did get to sleep in but had a terrible sinus headache - my allergies are the worst. Also, Sunday, mother's day or not is the best and the worst day of the week. I really hate that it means I have no more days until Monday and then here comes Monday with all it's manicness and cliche conversations with co-workers that I'm perfectly happy to engage in but really the day after a holiday I just want to lock myself in my office or better yet stay home!

never fails husband looks great ONLY in this picture. I look like a crazy person. Happy Mother's Day.

I have a tendency to feel for the less fortunate, so I'd rather really talk about the sadness and hurt that comes along with a day like mothers day than make small talk over what kind of flowers you got or your breakfast in bed.

What is it about mother's day and eating in your bed? I can't count how many times I read/heard that over the past few days. What's so great about breakfast in bed? If I do it, then the kid thinks he can do it. Also, I really like cinnamon rolls and pancakes for special breakfasts. I do NOT want syrup or sticky sugar on my sheets. Who is going to clean that up? Me. That's who. So no thank you mother's day. I will eat my breakfast at the kitchen table like a normal human being. If you want to do something special - do the dishes, sweep the floor, OR wash the sheets that you are proposing I wipe my syrupy hands on.

Just make sure there's water in the Kerug so I can just push the button. That'll be good enough for me!

In all seriousness I had a great mother's day. I got the sweetest cards and a literal running hug when I got out of bed. Best part of my day is when that baby boy of mine is happy to see me!

I also got to hang out in the country with my family. Just throwin' rocks and playing hide-n-seek in the monkey grass. More later with beautifully posed Mother's Day photos to follow.

Have a happy week!

on the weekend.

2013-05-07T05:00:00.000-05:00

on the weekend I try hard to take a little time to just be. Just be with my family, my son, myself. Honestly though, that's really hard for me. To just be means something isn't getting done. The house is a mess, we have about 50 million projects to complete, I still haven't hung up my clean laundry, I could be editing, uploading, taking pictures of clothes, the list goes on and on. That doesn't even scratch the surface of the never ending list in my head.

I feel like there is never enough time and that makes me anxious, moody, and disappointed in myself. I am a yes person, always. It really is a problem. When people ask me to do something, I say yes, because I genuinely WANT to do and have every experience I could possibly have. I want to be the one that helps others and spends time doing and not just dreaming about doing. I also realize that sometimes I just need to not do anything.

I wrote in jonah's 18 month update that he has started telling us to "sit down!" and that's just what happened in the picture above with the blocks. Otherwise, I would have still be in the other room DOING something that I felt needed to get done, but instead I sat with my little one and stacked blocks. thank you God for the reminder.

Then, as Sunday evening rolls around and the list starts ticking again with the things to do and the time starts dwindling down, I have to remind myself, again, to be in the moment. Just enjoy this night, don't rush off too quickly, stay, play, watch and just be.

Finding my balance is hard in this season of my life. Just doing, getting done and just enjoying my life are in a constant battle. Time moves too fast, but at least I have this moment and that one burned into my brain. When all my time has passed, I won't regret not cleaning my room or hanging up my clothes, I'll regret not using my time in the most important ways.

A little of the past.

2013-05-02T18:00:00.000-05:00

Ever feel like you were born in the wrong decade? I do. I may very well have been born in the wrong century. Well, probably not because well iPhones and such.

I certainly have an overly active draw to the past though when it comes to clothing style and home décor. I love a good mix of classic, vintage, even a little boho mixed with just enough modern that I don’t actually look like I’m in the mid-20^th century when I capture a photo.

I’ve mentioned before that we live in a home built in 1940 (possibly earlier – 40 was when they started keeping records here in Jackson and it was certainly standing at the time). Picture Hilly Holbrook or Elizabeth Leefolt’s home in The Help and you’re right on track. Literally, that book is about my neighborhood. In fact, THESE pictures were taken in front of Kathryn Stockett’s first home, next door to Eudora Welty. I guess the reality of that book is another reason I am glad to live in the 21^st century.

My point is, I get so excited by all things vintage and because my mother in law is a hoarder (just kidding – sort of) I get to love and have things that have a little history.

I want to overtime share some of my most treasured things but today I’m going to start with something a little more late-20^th century but definitely vintage.

Every time a big milestone-something is coming up I like plan a head a little in my mind to pick what Jonah will wear for the photos that I will inevitably take way too many of. For 18 months, I had recently bought this vintage nautical anchor sweater from an ig shop,

but then I posted this picture of my husband at 18 months on Facebook for his 31^st birthday and one thing led to another and I was in my in-laws attic scouring boxes for this sailor outfit I just had to put on Jonah. Then we found it, in his brother’s keep sake box (because they of course shared clothes). It had a few little stains but for a photo that doesn't really matter. They actually lighten a lot in the wash and it fit Jonah almost perfectly.

It actually wound up being fairly cool that day so we put the sweater on for most of the photos (that you can see here) and there may have been a few loose buttons. I think I'll mend it and put it on him again for something - memorial day maybe - or maybe just for fun.

So, mamas keep those baby clothes. You may one day have a daughter in law like me who will allow you to relive these baby days. I have been so tempted to sell some of my favorite outfits of Jonah's from the past year and a half but this reminds me to hold on to a little of the past for the future.

Do you have anything of yours or your husbands that you've passed down to your kids?

You can check out Jonah wearing Wesley's baby clothes in past posts here, here, and here.

This post may be linked with:

Finding Serendipity, Little Things Thursday,

PhotoStory Friday, Long Road to China,

Simple Things Sunday

a year and a half

2013-05-01T12:11:00.000-05:00

I'm about a week and half late, but time has just not been on my side lately. Writing this post has been on my mind so much this week but I just couldn't get to it. I've been going over and over in my mind the things I would write to describe Jonah at 18 months and so many things come to mind that I will probably not get to list all of them here, but I'm going to try. Also, how gorgeous is this light? I photographed Jonah on his "half birthday" April 19th in our neighborhood after work and found this beautiful but just ordinary spot. Wesley helped me and capturing back light isn't easy when you're new at it, but I think he captured the memories of me and my boy beautifully!

Now, what can I say about this toddler who is just growing up too quickly? He is 24 pounds, 30 1/2 inches of pure boy.

He's certainly talkative

He can say almost anything you ask him to repeat and repeat things you may not want him to say. His favorite words and the ones I think we hear the most are "basetball go" (basketball goal - you must add the goal?), "No" (usually followed by no no no no), "Uh huuuh" he never says yes or yeah - just uh huh, Waas dat? (what's that), I want mo (more), nack (snack), bye bye, mulk (milk) he calls every drink milk unless you are specifically talking about juice and the other day he told me "I want coke", cack eyed (outside), beash (beach) ball, yellow (not sure how he actually pronounces it but it's pretty close), book, wead (read), wivin woom (living room), I want down, big truck, tractor, I pee pee. He can also say almost everyone in our family's name except Aunt Andrea and we are pretty sure he just calls her "that". His favorite people to say are Ben man (Benjamin) and Jude. Always. He really can say or try to say anything if he wants to. IF he wants to. When you ask him to say something for someone he goes mute, but run into a stranger in the grocery store and he's all "hey" or yells "bye bye" to our neighbors from across the street.

He of course says mommy and daddy all the time. Mostly prefaced by "where's" or "I want". He loves to have us both with him at the same time doing the same thing. He, just in the past week, has started demanding that we sit down. "Mommy sit dooowwwn". I guess this is a wonderful thing and a great reminder to stop doing and just be with him.

Nature Boy

He loves outside and is not afraid of nature. He loves to dig, pick up sticks, pick flowers and bring them to mommy, going on walks, looking for kitties around the neighborhood, and just getting dirty in general. On Earth Day, he harvested worms with NaNa to take to the children's garden at the library and did not miss a beat. He got a little nervous when they started wiggling a lot, but we actually had to rescue a few worms before he "loved" them too much.

He watches squirrels and looks for birds in the sky. He even spotted some bats flying over my parent's house one night. crreeepy.

Opinionated for sure.

We are still encouraging the potty but he says no a lot now when you ask him if he needs to go. It will be a work in progress for a while I guess.

He has begun to show some preference in clothing choices lately (which kind of scares me), but he usually will put something on if you talk it up and show him what it is. He has taken a liking to a pair of crocs handed down from my nephew. They really are cute on though.

He still gets in the bed with us at some point about 5 nights a week. It is usually in the early morning hours and I'm really completely fine with it. I love when he wakes up and pats me saying mommy. It makes it soo hard to get out of bed though!

A bit of a Dare Devil.

He runs everywhere. He rarely just walks.

He started jumping in the past week or so. Both feet off the ground.

He still loves to dance and wrestle with daddy.

He loves to climb - chairs, couches, beds, over people. He has turned a wooden noah's ark into a stool to see out the window.

But oh so loving

He gives the best hugs and kisses. More often than not now I get a lip smack.

He just walks up to his cousins and just holds on to them so tight!

Maybe it's because he's constantly hugged and kissed but you just can't help yourself with this one, he can be just so sweet. I will take every second I get to hold him because it already isn't long. If I get a head on the shoulder - you can forget it - I'm not going anywhere.

He's growing so fast and learning so much, but I still see me little baby in there. When he just wants to rock or will sit on the swing and just swing like we did every night last summer. He's still there even if it only comes in spurts.

Happy Eighteen Months Jonah Man. You are the best boy a mama could ask for! ever.

Linking up with Click & Submit, The Paper Mama, Project Alicia, Live and Love Outloud, Dude Mom, Hump Day Dump, Baby Baby Lemon, and Wittle People Wednesday

If you are interested in swapping ads please check out my advertising page here!

oh spring

2013-04-24T23:28:00.000-05:00

Oh spring, I know you are here but you play the worst tricks on me. Just when the weather is beautiful and life is returning, I wake up to dark skies and rumbles of thunder. In the twenty minutes it takes for me to get from one morning stop to the next those warm summer breezes that leave me so filled with hope are exchanged for soaking wet feet and prickly goose bumps covering my body.

It's no secret that here in the South we love our warm summers, even if we complain that the sweat and mosquitoes are going to be the death of us.

On days like today though, I long for that warm wash of heat to cover me as I walk out the door. Today, I could have just crawled back in bed or snuggled up to watch tv all. day. long. but that just doesn't fly when you are a working mama. Bags have to be packed, diapers changed, breakfast fed and oh yeah you are supposed to be dressed half way decent for work. Some days it just gets the best of me and leaving the little boy clinging to my leg is heart wrenching.

Then there's something like this, perfect for a day like today:

“What is the kingdom of God like? And to what shall I compare it?It is like a grain of mustard seed that a man took and sowed in his garden, and it grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air made nests in its branches.”

God created all things for us because he loves us. He makes the winter and the summer. He brings the rain and the temperature. Everything comes full circle and the smallest of the small becomes great. So, just as the mustard seed grows into a tree that brings life and a home, the rain brings growth and new life. It's God's way of helping us to appreciate the comfortable because we have experienced the uncomfortable.

And as the longing for home makes me appreciate the time I do get with Jonah at home. Even if it is just sitting around the old kitchen table at MeMe's house eating snacks and looking for squirrels or hanging out at NaNas a little while in the evening so I can relive his day before our night time routine has to start.

Soon the season will change for good and we'll be charging through his second summer soaking up with sun as much as we can, but that also means he'll be closer and closer to two and I just don't want to wish the days away anymore.

Linking up today with Little Things Thursday

A sunshiney weekend.

2013-04-22T00:00:00.001-05:00

Last week was so crazy. Wonderful things and devastating, scary things stir an unsure and fearful heart, but a weekend filled with sunny days and beautiful little 18 month old laughter reassure me that He is in control.

Friday, Jonah turned 18 months old. I did get to snap a few pictures of him on Friday evening in the beautiful setting sunshine, but I will be posting them this week with an update on him and his silly self.

Today I'm posting over at In the Moment with...

my first potty post {beware}

2013-04-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

I'm warning you now, this post is all about my child and his bathroom habits, so if that's not your sort of thing it's okay to just look at the cute pictures and move on. =)

Sometimes motherhood throws you for a loop and this one's s doozie! People are going to think I'm crazy, but this boy is totally potty training himself. I swear. No joke.

For a few months now, Jonah (who will be 18 months on Friday 4/19) has been really interested in the potty. He has spent a lot of time with his cousins learning to go on the potty at NaNa's house. He started wanting to put little wads of toilet paper in the toilet like he's seen everyone else do. Why are kids so obsessed with toilet paper by the way? I have also occasionally put him on the toilet just to make it normal. I know lots of kids are scared when they start training so why not go ahead and skip that step if I can.

About a month to a month and a half ago, he started telling us "I pee pee" and even "I stinky" or "sticky" not sure which- both certainly apply here. Sure enough, each time he'd tell us, he would need a diaper change. This left Wesley and I just kind of looking at each other like - should we put him on the potty? and answering nah - he's too young.

This continued on and off then, I just happened down the isle at target and spotted the WeePOD. I didn't buy it that day but went home and told Wesley about it. He went a few days later and brought it home. I had decided I didn't really want a kiddy toilet (1) because there's not really room for it in the bathroom where Jonah takes his bath (2) the sooner he trains on a big potty, the easier I feel it will be for him to go places other than at home (3) our dog is cray - enough said.

please excuse the dirty feet. yes we are from the south and go barefoot outside. lol

Using the potty seat, we started putting him on the big toilet before baths, and after a few days he started saying "I pee pee" and running to the bathroom just like his cousin does at NaNa's house. Then, twoish weekends ago, he actually went on the potty and when he went back to NaNa's he asked her all day long to go pee pee.

A few times I've kind of ignored his request because I felt like I triggered it by telling him that I needed to go - but it never fails if he says I pee pee - you better bet he either JUST went in his diaper or he goes the next minute. Many times he tells us and I get him on the potty just when he needs to go #2 even if he has already wet his diaper.

It has amazed me that he has been able to control himself. I do not think he can hold it, but I do know he can make himself "go". He does go #1 and #2 on the potty and knows he's gone and what to do. He just doesn't do it consistently and we aren't pushing it.

The dilemma though is what to do now? We definitely want to keep going, but at this point we are only asking him when it's convenient to take his diaper off - like when changing it in the mornings or before his bath at night. We do take him when he asks too. Some days that is more than others.

He still only wears Size 4 diapers (5's swallow him!) and as far as I know training diapers only come in 2t/3t at the smallest. I definitely don't think he's ready for any kind of underwear, but what do we do?

I've considered cloth diapers with inserts as trainers, and then eventually take the insert out? I don't know, cloth diaper mama's - how would/do/did you train your child?

By the way I was very hesitant to post potty pictures in fear that later in life he will post pictures of me on the toilet as revenge...or something like that, but a friend on IG encouraged me to take the pictures because she cherishes hers so much! So, I did get my camera out before bath one night last week and there are some really great shots of him, but for risk of repercussions I am just showing the bits and pieces of his potty time.

Let me know if anyone is interested in a review of the WeePOD (affiliate link)- I don't think it's been on the market very long but we like it so far!

Linking up with Mandy at A Sorta Fairytale

Happy Birthday Ben Man!

2013-04-17T12:32:00.006-05:00

There are so many reasons to celebrate life and first birthdays are definitely one of them!

My nephew (and Jonah's little partner in crime) Benjamin turned one year old today! a few weeks back I took some photos of him for his birthday invitation. These are just a few of them, but he was such a good sport...we froze him out there! Of course the day before he would have been sweating in the same attire.

This little dude has been pretty smooth sailing and fit right in with the hustle and bustle from the get go. Can't believe it's been a year since he joined us. I got to know this man really well early on and I love that he lights up when he sees me. . it took his big sister a while to love me so much. I am so looking forward to the sleep overs and boys bouncing on the bed together that I know are in my future.

Happy Birthday Ben Man. Ti Ti Loves you!

If you have a Wednesday post link up with some of my favorites: Wittle People Wednesday, The Paper Mama, Parenting by Dummies, Project Alicia, Jenni from the Blog, In The Moment With, and Live and Love Outloud.

happy birthday wesley!

2013-04-12T17:06:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday Daddy Man!

Today is Wesley's birthday and I can't resist a good flashback post. This is one of my favorite recent instagram (follow us @stephaniesclark) photos of Jonah and his awesome Daddy!

We couldn't make it without you. You are the best daddy a boy could ask for and make for a pretty great hubby too.

Typically, Wesley doesn't want much to do with this blog and he mostly just scrolls through the pictures, but I'm sure he will be all over this when he sees his smilin' face plastered all over the page!

A while back his mom sent me some pictures of him as a baby/little boy mostly to compare his and Jonah's similarities or lack there of and I never got around to posting them, but here a few of my favorites! =)

And then there are the more recent favorites. this will make 9 birthdays for him since we started dating...

We love you Wesley! I hope I get many many more birthdays with you.

Easy T-Shirt Applique personalized for your little one.

2013-04-10T13:01:00.000-05:00

This was super easy. My sister showed me a similar idea a few months ago on Pinterest (of course) and I put my little spin on it and thought I'd share here with you.

Here's what you'll need:

Plain T-Shirt
Heat'n Bond Lite Iron-on Adhesive
A small piece of fabric (from your mother in laws scrap bin)
scissors
iron
sewing machine (optional)
pen or pencil

So you have your t-shirt, now pick the right size for your applique. I tried a couple of different bowls from the kitchen because I can't draw a circle obviously. I found that for the tshirt our everyday bowls were just the right size. The bigger it is the easier to sew for me!

STEP ONE:
Trace your circle onto the heat n bond and cut it out. I like to preserve as much heat n bond as possible so I scoot all the way to the edge.

STEP TWO:
Trace your letter in the middle of your circle and cut out the middle.
I just opened up Photoshop (you could use Word or any program with a variety of fonts) typed a big "J" then scrolled through my fonts until I found a "J" I liked. Put your circle to the screen and trace your letter.
There are two ways you can do this: one flip your letter on your screen and trace it backwards on the smooth side of the heat n bond OR two lightly trace on the rough side. I chose two because I honestly didn't think of one. I put my circle right up to the screen and traced - so easy - then I turned it over and made a more solid line on the smooth side. Then, I cut out the J.

STEP THREE:
Iron your cut out circle and letter to your fabric. Make sure if you fabric has two sides you are ironing to the back (usually whitish side). Follow the instructions on your heat n bond.

STEP FOUR:
Cut fabric around the heat n bond.
Because I want a bit of a shaggy edge, I leave about 1/4 inch between the heat n bond and where I cut. Once it's cut out I go ahead and fray the fabric a little on the edges (just to get it going).

The C looks a little wonky because I've just hand frayed some of it, but will look more uniform (but shlubby) once washed.

STEP FIVE:
Using the Heat N Bond instructions iron on your applique to your shirt!

STEP SIX:
Sew around the edges.
I use a straight stitch and do the best I can! I want there to be a little room for fraying but I want to make sure I'm close enough to the edge it doesn't start to peel off.

NOTE: If you don't want to sew use the Ultra Hold Iron-On Adhesive. I wouldn't suggest fraying with this method. Also, make sure you look at whatever bonding material you use and do not try to sew through no sew bonding! not pretty.

This is a fun quick project that takes just a tshirt to something personal and creative. I hope you'll try. Please excuse the terrible quality photos (they were all taken with my cell phone indoors at night). Next time I'll use the big girl camera!

The Birthday Dress!

2013-04-09T22:14:00.001-05:00

Happy Birthday to our niece Laurel. She turned THREE today!

Since I don't have a little girl and I only have two nieces (and a whole bunch of nephews) my options for making cute girly things is limited. When my sister Andrea found this fabric, I just had to do something with it. So, she supervised and I made my first dress all by myself! It's a stinkin' cute dress too!

Linking up with my favorite Wordless/Wordful Wednesday crowd!

Click and Submit / My Organized Chaos / Mama to 4 Blessings / Project Alicia / Live and Love Outloud / Parenting BY dummies / Taylor Joelle / Baby Baby Lemon / Create with Joy / Three in Three / Hump Day Dump

The Egg Hunt.

2013-04-04T14:50:00.001-05:00

Sunday it rained. hard. but then the sun came out and even though it was super wet these kiddos got to hunt some eggs at my parents house. My little man doesn't really "get" the whoe egg hunt or that they are really eggs. They are basically "basketballs" that open and sometimes have food inside. He specifically asks me for "cookies" when I'm opening one which is obviously my fault for putting angry bird graham crackers in some of the ones he opened at home.

During the hunt, he pretty much picked up a few then found the basketball one and the soccer ball one and carried them around. What more does a little boy need?

To get my niece, Emma, to look at me I kept saying show my your egg or show me your pretty basket. I guess I'm going to need a new plan there. How DO you photograph a busy 3 year old's face?

Is it reallly spring yet? We also had a very busy saturday with easter activities, it was so beautiful, so more egg photos to come! If you missed my first Easter post you can find it here and look at Jonah from last Easter here. omy what a baby! I miss that wittle bitty guy..

xo
Stephanie

Happy Easter 2013

2013-04-01T06:00:00.000-05:00

Happy Easter Friends. I hope this Easter celebration brought you joy, happiness, and the renewal of Spring. We have had a lovely weekend and I am looking forward to sharing our photos throughout this week (because there are many). Most of all I hope you heard the message that this day brings: Jesus, our Lord, is alive. The account of Jesus' death brings great emotions for me and knowing that he suffered for me makes my heart incredibly heavy, but I know the truth is that he also rose again and that is cause for celebration. We can enter into spring with renewed hearts and a zest for new life!

Jonah isn't quite old enough to understand Jesus' sacrifice and victory, he will some day, though. It's my job to make sure of it. Until then, I will just keep reassuring him that he is loved and celebrated.

and maybe a little spoiled...

I found Jonah some sports themed eggs and knew my basketball loving boy would love them.

Then a real Easter bunny came to see us - right outside the dining room window. I'd like to say this was totally random and a sign that spring is here and all is renewed, but this is more of a common occurence since this beauty belongs to our neighbor. Her name is Stella.

Happy Spring!

Easter Bark Recipe

2013-03-30T01:13:00.004-05:00

There's nothing like the last minute to decide you want to get in on the silly side of Easter. Candy making, egg dying, and basket preparing are all underway around here. I saw a picture on instagram (here's some on pinterest) of Easter Bark and it was SO cute. I had to try. I've been making Peppermint Bark and Reindeer Food/ChristmasWhite Trash (warning: don't google "white trash") for Christmas for several years now and so it was a total light bulb moment (duh!). I can totally do that for any occasion. So, while this is definitely not my original idea (props to who ever came up with this) I can certainly make it!

I did this at about 11pm on Thursday Night - so my photos are not great.

INGREDIENTS:

2 Packages White Almond Bark/Candy Coating /White Chocolate Melts
Wax Paper
1 Bag Bunny Blend M&M's
1 Bag Easter Candy Corn

you can use any candy you'd like just choose the colors you'd like

1 Bag Thin Stick Pretzels
Food Coloring (or you can use colored Candy Melts - my Kroger was out)
Sprinkles

METHOD ONE:

Spread wax paper on counter top/table (chocolate will be hot when poured so you may want to us a cloth under wax if on wood)
Melt Almond Bark according to package instructions
Add 1 small drop of food coloring (I used green and pink)
Stir well
Pour onto wax paper saving a small portion
Use a large spoon or rubber spatula to spread thin
While still hot sprinkle in candies and sprinkles
Reheat small portion so that it will pour easily
Pour using a zig zag pattern on top of candy (optional)
Let harden about 15 -20 minutes depending on how thin
Break into pieces .................. Enjoy!

METHOD TWO:

Spread wax paper on counter top/table (chocolate will be hot when poured so you may want to us a cloth under wax if on wood)
Melt Almond Bark according to package instructions
Add 1 small drop of food coloring (I used green and pink)
Stir well
Add apprx. 2 cups pretzels, fold in until well covered
Add candy, fold in until coated fairly well
Pour or spoon out onto wax paper and spread with back of spoon or rubber spatula
Add more candy or sprinkles on top if desired
Let harden
Break Apart

If you are looking for an easy addition to a party or holiday dinner you can really use bark for any occasion! It's easier than cookies!

Happy Easter Weekend!

oh hail. .

2013-03-27T16:49:00.001-05:00

Last Monday, Mississippi got a hail storm like none I have ever seen. People reported up to softball sized hail. Not sure I believe that, but when I came home an hour and half after the storm, I found golf ball size still all over my yard.

It's kind of strange to look around and there is so much debris over the roads you can't really see where your going. This is familiar when hurricanes pass through and we know it's coming, but this 15-20 minute hail storm seems to have done it's fair share of damage seemingly out of nowhere. Still this morning driving to work, I passed more than one car with shattered windshields and busted tail lights.

Our damage was pretty minor but it's major ugly. Thank God I have a husband who can figure out how to fix things. We'll be getting a new roof, paint, shutters, condensing unit, and reimbursement for the window pains. I'm so happy none of us were home. It was extremely loud even in my huge hospital, but my neighbor said it sounded like someone was shooting windows out. It looks like it too.

We are healthy, happy and very blessed. Much worse could have happened and I'm so thankful it didn't.

basketball. obsessed.

2013-03-15T14:36:00.000-05:00

How did my not even 17 month old become so obsessed with basketball? I know it's probably a phase but right now "ba-eh-ball" is the most common word out of his mouth.

There are three basketball hoops in close proximity to our backyard. The one over our carport, in our neighbor's driveway behind us, and in the driveway across from our driveway - which is where the big boys in the neighborhood most often play.

Oh how this little dude wishes he was one of those big boys... or that they would just take him with them to play. At NaNa's house, he also has to be tortured by the neighborhood boys who play on our childhood basketball goal my parents have in front of their house in the cul de sac.

He's even taken to watching the SEC Tournament this week. He points at the TV and ~~demands~~ requests basketball. It's pretty cute, but getting old fast. ;)

Off to work on our jump shot!
Follow us on instagram @stephaniesclark

collecting memories... and berries

2013-03-13T23:38:00.001-05:00

We went out on a little stroll saturday evening with these overalls and my camera. Every time we take Jonah out somewhere he's not used to going, he kind of seems like he is in a shocked state for a little while, just taking it all in. We let him walk on the side walk for a bit, but our neighborhood sidewalks are less than flat. They actually have hundred year oaks pushing them into yards at some points, so wesley carried him a while. When we got to the college campus down the street we let him run a little more free. At first he just kind of stood there before he decided that there were a million berries that he would somehow fit all in one hand.

He worked and worked so diligently to gather as many as he could. We called and called for him to look at mama or at least look up in any direction. After a while, I resigned to capturing the moment instead of what I had planned.

I'm so happy I did because look what I got out of it. Little hands and a look of determination. This little boy so happy with himself for conquering such a small feat.

I've always wanted to photograph berry picking. This is not exactly what I had in mind, but the memories are just as sweet.

I kept asking him as we were walking around "jonah, how'd you get so cute?" and telling him how precious he looked. What I remember most about that is my husband saying he gets it from me.

Happy memory making,

03.11.13

2013-03-11T10:31:00.000-05:00

I have been slacking in the blogging/journaling our life department the past few weeks. My mind was going so fast that I just couldn't focus on one thing. A million ideas and things to do all at once and what comes out is just nothing. . . crickets. I loathe that feeling. Then, I got sick. I actually missed three days of work last week with a cold turned serious sinus infection. So, back on the allergy regime I go to hopefully make it through spring!

Oh spring, allergies and all, I can't wait for you to be here to stay. I love your warm breezes and just knowing the extremes of a Mississippi summer are on the way excites me. I have high sweaty hopes for this year!

Saturday evening, I was finally feeling well enough to go on a little walk. I hadn't taken real photos of my little man in so long. I just knew these thrift store overalls needed to go on a stroll. We got out a little earlier too and ran in the backyard.

I've been really taking note of the changes in Jonah lately. His move from babyhood to boyhood is flying right by. I'm trying, with everything else going on, to savor what's left of his babyhood. There is so much more to write and feel. Milestones, struggles, and much adjusting to this new season, but I'll save those for another day.

Today though, I'm sharing a little of the changes on In the MOMent Monday. Join me over there to talk about milestones and when the babble turns to more and babyhood is further away.

linking up with miscellaneous monday

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Pre-Teen

2013-03-07T23:11:00.001-06:00

A couple weeks ago we spent the day in Starkville to celebrate this little dude's 10th birthday. He's kind of my mile marker for how long I've been a part of this family of Clarks. He was actually just about Jonah's age when I met Wesley. I remember him toddling into the deli to see his mom or uncle Wesley at work. He had the cutest little ringlets and now just look at him. Ten years old and declaring himself a preteen.

He's also had a really long relationship with my camera. At ten years old, he's as stubborn as ever. He told me this is my new smile.

and then he cracked.

He's also the only cousin whose name Jonah can consistently say or repeat when asked. He even recognizes his photo. I guess because mostly when he sees him MeMe is there and he gets to eat things like cake and ice cream. spoiled.

xo
Stephanie

so I'm addicted.

2013-03-05T23:45:00.002-06:00

Over past few weeks I feel like I've been neglecting this blog. I haven't been keeping up with photos, but I promise there are awesome things coming! I have to admit I have been slacking a little. Want to know why?

I'm addicted to buying and selling clothes on Instagram. seriously.

Dress - Matilda Jane - purchased from an IG Mama Shop

A while back, my sister Andrea and I started talking about starting an online resale shop. Since we started having children, we've shopped consignment shops and sales like nobodies business. It's amazing. I rarely buy Jonah anything new unless its on a super good sale, but I forget that I bought the stuff used because I'm pretty good a weeding through the crap. It's a skill. A well honed skill.

People always ask me about my clothing, where did you get that? or that's so cute, will you take me shopping? Sure, but I got this at Ross or TJ Maxx. To shop those stores you really have to develop a skill for shopping & for finding the cute stuff mixed in with all the clutter. I practiced this diligently in my 20's. Before Jonah, it was mostly about me and home stuff. Occasionally I bought Wesley something. Now, it's all about the baby boy. What do you do though when you find SO much stuff to buy but it just won't work for us? Sell it for a small profit. Become the personal shopper for many a mama via instagram.

Sure there are consignment shops online, like Thred Up, that are awesome but you just don't find the classic well made baby and toddler clothing that us traditional moms love for our kiddos. So, this way I can pay the consignment store price which is still in the twenty dollar range, love it a little while and then pass it on getting at least a portion of my money back. It's a novel idea I tell ya, but not everyone has the knack or the eye for this type of thing. If you don't well that's where we come in!

In just over 3 weeks or so we've made 350+ friends. I've made one sweep through my closet and decluttered so that I look like less of a hoarder. I love that I can find people out there to love this stuff as much as I do/did.

Tonight we are having a Vintage and Classic Children's Clothing sell. I am so excited! I love everything we have to sell, but obviously I can't keep it all.

Join us?

xo
Stephanie

just because he's so darn cute!

2013-02-28T16:35:00.001-06:00

I took some pictures of this little guy, my nephew Benjamin, about a month ago and just haven't been able to get around to doing much with editing and loading them for his mommy to see. So here's your peek Andrea!

Do you like my Gray Mornings Facebook Page? I'd love to have you!

If you are local, you can find information on Spring Mini Sessions there too!

xo
Stephanie

Linking up today with Long Road to China, The Hollie Rogue, Serendipity is sweet, & Finding Serendipity

Sixteen Months

2013-02-22T16:56:00.001-06:00

This week my little man hit the sixteen month mark. I feel like we are quickly approaching the closer to two than one days and honestly that scares me. Every day it feels like my baby is drifting farther into my memories than he is a part of my everyday reality. It's not like I don't want to know this boy who isn't a baby anymore, but I don't want to forget or let him grow too quickly. The milestones are smaller and not has significant as they seemed in his first year but they are important and they are happening so fast. Please God don't let them go so quickly.

Watching your first child become more than an addition and grow into an active member of your family is an interesting adventure to say the least. We have come to the point when we can no longer just bring him along or make him fit into the activities of the day. He has opinions and knows what he wants to do. He whole-heartedly does not want to spend his days inside. ever. He wants to do things for himself and make his own little contributions to most conversations. He wants badly to communicate in the way the rest of the world does. He needs to feel heard and likes his routine (as chaotic as it is). He asks for more and tells you when he’s done. He knows every step we are making and makes sure we stay in line.

One of the best rewards of this age is by far the running hug. You know the one where you squat down and call them over and they run at full speed until their body slams into yours, then there’s this unbeatable embrace sometimes followed by sweet little smacks or big open mouthed slobbery kisses? That is, hands down, the best feeling ever. We get this a lot these days and take it anytime we can. I can’t and don’t want to imagine a time when this doesn’t occur. Of course I get the occasional refusal, but then he makes up for it and it is so good.

xo
Stephanie

Linking up today with Long Road to China, Photo Story Friday

Rise Above Life {Giveaway $50}

2013-02-19T14:00:00.000-06:00

I am truly moved by April from Rise Above Life's work and the stories she's sharing. Today, I want to share her story, her encouragement, and her creativity. Please make her feel welcome and heard, then run (no walking) to her blog and shop to check out the beautiful, inspiring things she is doing and creating. This is her story...

A few years ago, I was ready to give up. My life was becoming too unbearable and I was ready to just throw in the towel. There were good days, when I felt great and was able to do the things that I wanted to, but then it would all start. In my mind, it would feel like I was having a great time when out of the blue, I could feel heavy storm clouds of dark grey depression gathering around me. I wanted to run away, protect myself from the dark clouds, but I couldn't. I could only wait while the storm of depression messed up my life yet again. It was becoming debilitating. I had family members recommend this herb and that medicine. I was always afraid to try anything new because I had no idea what to expect. I was afraid to talk to my doctor about it because in my anxiety filled mind, I didn't want him to label me as “crazy”. I had a million reasons why I was fine and handling this situation myself. I had every excuse in the book rehearsed.

Then, my world shattered. My son, who suffers from reactive attachment disorder was in major trouble, my husband took a huge pay cut to keep his job and and we ended up losing our home in a foreclosure. The icing on the cake was when my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and I became her primary caregiver. It was too much for me to handle and I fell apart. I had a very dear friend share with me her own story and helped me find the knowledge and courage to seek medical help for the depression. My doctor was amazing and helped me find a balance of medicine and lifestyle modifications. It seemed to take the majority of the dark clouds out of my life, but I was still having a hard time being happy and at peace with myself.

Ironically, it was in the cancer treatment hospital during treatments with my mom, that I found the other piece of the puzzle that I was missing. The medical issues were being taken care of, but I had done nothing to take care of my emotional and spiritual self. I watched my mom face horrible surgeries and painful treatments. When things were at the worst, she would always pray and thank God for the blessings she had. The hospital staff was so positive and always giving mom and me hugs and words of kindness, encouragement and generosity. It made a difficult time more bearable. The doctors and nurses would constantly remind me that God was aware of our plight and loved us. They would pray with my mom before chemo and her numerous surgeries and we always felt a sense of peace afterwards.

I realized how much I needed God in my life. I went to church every Sunday, but had never taken the opportunity to know my Savior. I found a new sense of strength and hope in my scripture study and in Jesus Christ. I learned how to let go when the depression would start up and let God take it for me. My life was changed by learning to focus on others and to always be grateful for the gifts in the trials. I remind myself all of the time that even though my trials are hard, there is always someone worse off than me.

I started the Rise Above Life blog to share people’s stories anonymously to let others know that they are not alone. Someone else has been there and walked in your shoes before. They have lived to tell about it and can show you the way. We can encourage each other instead of judging and hurting our family, friends and neighbors.

The Rise Above Life shop offers digital files of the images that you can print at home or take to the same place you print your photos and then frame. Rise Above Life also has inspirational message board printable downloads that you can frame and use a dry erase marker on to leave notes to your loved ones.

I told you it was moving! Not only is April offering 1 free download to readers who use the code "tryme" at www.shopriseabovelife.com but she's giving away two gift certificates for her shop! Please take a minute to enter and send her some encouragement!

shop / blog / facebook / twitter

Just a weekend recap.

2013-02-18T13:54:00.002-06:00

My little Valentine has been teething like no bodies business and it's a struggle at night but he's been pretty happy during the day! At night, he has trouble going down and then wakes up at some point and is restless for longer than normal trying to get comfortable and fall back asleep. He'll be 16 months tomorrow, so I'll update more later this week, but he has been talking up a storm (even more than before) since we tossed the pacifier. Except when those cousins just jabber on and he can't get a word in! He's at a place where he's too big for the babies but not big enough for the big kids..he's trying to fit in with both though!

Valentine's Day was pretty busy. My sister Maggie and nephew Connor flew in from Colorado, planning to stay for nearly 12 days. On Friday, she wound up in the hospital preparing for an appendectomy. So, I left work a little early to let my mom and dad both be at the hospital with her while I played with these two pantsless silly heads.

Then (somehow) I was nominated to spend the night at the hospital. Not the slumber we would have liked, but I'm glad I could be there to help! I was under strict orders for no laughing. Fortunatley, it was pretty late so we were able to keep the bathroom humor to a minimum. Even though there were probably plenty of laughable moments. This surgery was pretty similar to my gallbladder surgery a little over a year ago - so I was probably a good person to be there.

All went well and she is recovering at our parent's home for the next week. Please say a little prayer for quick healing - she did fly here by herself with a 2 1/2 year old.

Sunday we had a family day at my parents house and these boys got to enjoy a little play time outside with Granddaddy in the early afternoon.

I just really love to see Jonah continuing to build his relationships with his cousins on both sides. He has occasionally asked for them by name and is learning a lot about family. If you follow me on instagram - you'll see lots of little faces, but I could only find time to post of few shots here from my phone.

Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Behind the Camera and Dreaming

my motherhood

What's so great about breakfast in bed?

on the weekend.

A little of the past.

a year and a half

He's certainly talkative

Nature Boy

Opinionated for sure.

A bit of a Dare Devil.

But oh so loving

oh spring

A sunshiney weekend.

my first potty post {beware}

Happy Birthday Ben Man!

happy birthday wesley!

Happy Birthday Daddy Man!

Easy T-Shirt Applique personalized for your little one.

The Birthday Dress!

The Egg Hunt.

xoStephanie

Happy Easter 2013

Easter Bark Recipe

oh hail. .

basketball. obsessed.

collecting memories... and berries

03.11.13

Pre-Teen

xoStephanie

so I'm addicted.

xoStephanie

just because he's so darn cute!

xoStephanie

Linking up today with Long Road to China, The Hollie Rogue, Serendipity is sweet, & Finding Serendipity

Sixteen Months

xoStephanie

Linking up today with Long Road to China, Photo Story Friday

Rise Above Life {Giveaway $50}

Just a weekend recap.

xoStephanie

xo
Stephanie

xo
Stephanie

xo
Stephanie

xo
Stephanie

xo
Stephanie

xo
Stephanie