Beholdingembrace's Corner

No Shame in Progress – My First Triathlon

2017-06-28T13:58:00.001-04:00

"WE DON'T GROW WHEN THINGS ARE EASY; WE GROW WHEN WE FACE CHALLENGES"

I can’t remember the exact time when I knew I wanted to train for triathlon. I remember telling my running buddy Jeannine in 2014 that my future goal was to become a triathlete. I had learned from social media that Sheri Fraser in London, Ontario was famous for training top notch athletes. In 2015, a friend of mine who was an ironman and had trained with Sheri Fraser provided me some sound advice after hearing I wanted to sign up for some triathlon races. Obviously, I was totally clueless how much more training is involved compare to training for marathon. We had coffee and he talked about his experience training with Sheri and how much that had helped him to accomplish his goals. He knew I was not a swimmer and suggested to visit the Aquatic Centre to find out how much I can swim!

I went to the Aquatic Centre with my son and my friend Jeannine who had already trained that year and had signed up for some triathlon races. I had never put my face in the water and had doggy pedaled during our summer visit to the beach! Jeannine started swimming some fast impressive laps and I jumped in too. I started swimming but got only to the middle of the pool and felt I was drowning. Wait! I was drowning! It was really embarrassing as the life guard jumped in to rescue me. Up to this day my son thinks that was the most embarrassing moment of HIS life!

In the fall of 2015, I registered with the YMCA triathlon. I learned how to blow bubbles but life took over and I didn’t continue with swim lessons. Later in the fall of 2016, I contacted Sheri expressing interest that I wanted to sign up for her coaching program. In February 2017, I started training with Scott Mallory, one of Sheri’s coaches.

I wrote in my email to Scott, I’m a runner but can’t swim and don’t know how to clip/unclip on the bike! That’s how the training got started. There were many moments in the pool that I felt frustrated, embarrassed, and panicked. But I was determined to learn and improve.

Learning how to swim with proper technique has not been easy. I’m very aware of everything that I do wrong but still, improvement is taking place very slowly. Swimmers and coaches at the Y have been very supportive.
The first night I rode with my clipless pedals, I fell many times and got lots of bruises.

I injured my left knee and even to this day I can’t really sit in one position too long with the knee bent. I need to constantly change position and massage my leg. The first night I was clueless and fearless. After those falls, I was a bit fearful. I had some practice here and there. Scott kept asking me if I was getting out on my bike practicing on the grass. I told him I had some practice but I knew it wasn’t enough. Finally, I did what I’ve always done. Talking myself out of fear and into believing that I CAN. I had to face my fear. I went to my son’s school yard and rode on the grass. I clipped and unclipped many times. Then slowly, I went to the pavement. I clipped and unclipped. I was really happy knowing I could do it without falling. I kept reminding myself I’m learning lots of new things at age 49. As long as I’m learning, it doesn’t matter how fast or how slow I’m learning it. The point is to tell your mind to shut up and face your fear. I was excited for me. That meant no more staying behind in the parking lot practicing clipping and unclipping. That meant, I could ride with the group.

On May 31, 2017, I went to my first Splash N Dash practice to learn how to swim in open water. There is always a 5K run following the swim. The weather was cloudy, the dark lake looked darker under clouds, the wind created choppy conditions or little waves. I was in the water wearing my wetsuit. All the swimmers started swimming and were gone. I really couldn’t swim. Scott was in his kayak beside me providing encouragement. He reminded me of the drills we had done in the pool, he said it’s a beautiful outdoor setting with all the nature around us, .…but I couldn’t breathe…I was panicking, the suit felt tight on my chest, I was overwhelmed. All I saw in the water was darkness…I headed back to the shore…I only swam 100 m…I couldn’t even do the full run after that swim, I just ran and walked 2.5K. I felt my chest was still heavy. That night, I had nightmares and woke up feeling like I couldn’t breathe.

Talking to Scott after my first open water swim disaster!

I told coach Sheri "I sucked!" She replied " "Each week you'll suck less!" :)

I had to face my fear. I sent an email out saying who wanted to go for a swim at the lake on Saturday. Shelley said she could. I’m forever grateful to Shelley for showing up. I told her what had happened. She is a great swimmer and a more experienced triathlete. She had started training with Scott in July 2016. When we got to the lake she coached me slowly and gave me lots of good tips. The weather was perfect. It was sunny and the water was calm. Shelley and I ended up swimming 500 meters closer to the shore. I was more comfortable although still the panic would kick in once in a while when I couldn’t breathe. But I wasn’t afraid of the lake and the open water. I was so happy she was there with me. Afterwards, we ran a short 2.5K and had a great time doing it.

Thank you Shelley!

My First Triathlon Race

Multisport Canada Race Series

I prepared for my first triathlon race (Give-It-A-Try) as I have done in the past for my running races. Scott had prepared our group for racing and had given us lots of instructions and information. But I still needed to do my own race preparation. A week prior to the race, I visited the Multisport Canada’s website and read everything I could from how to get there, what to do on the race day, and most important of all, I studied the race course and the maps. They had lots of good information from how to rack your bike, race etiquette, rules, and even the water temperature!

In a triathlon, there are two transitions; one is from swimming to biking (T1) and the other is from biking to running (T2). The proper and efficient way of setting up one’s transition area can greatly impact the overall success of the race. Despite the fact that I had learned how to set up my transition area during training; and habitually being super fast at getting ready; I still read articles to learn more about the transition, and practiced in my living room how I wanted my transition to look like. I set up my transition area, laid down all my race gear, took a picture, and reviewed it again making sure I had everything before I packed them up.

I have 3 little bags labeled “Swimming”, “Biking”, and “Running”. Organized packing means when setting up your transition area on race day, you are not flustered looking for items and you’ll save time opening each bag and placing them on the towel in your transition area the way you will be using them during T1 and T2. I packed everything by midday on Friday.

As an athlete, eating healthy and hydrating properly gets incorporated into everyday life and not just the day before a race. I kept drinking and ate 4 or 5 small portions of food as usual. I don’t eat anything after 7 pm. Every morning I have my oatmeal (with cinnamon, walnut, raisin, milk, and maple syrup). Nothing changes on race day. No special diet except if I’m racing a half or full marathon with some serious carbloading the week before my race.

"Athletes EAT and TRAIN, they don't diet and exercise."

Mentally, I visualized myself many times being happy and confident. I visualized my race from start to finish. Many things could go wrong but I didn’t think of all that but rather saw myself smiling, having fun, and being happy with the result. It is important to arrive at the race confident and prepared.

On the day of the race, I woke up at 5:30, left London at 7:00 a.m. and arrived in Welland at 9:00 a.m. My race was scheduled for 11:30. I had plenty of time to look for parking space, register, get my age written on my calf, my bib number on my arm, to get my coloured race cap based on my age group, find my designated area based on my bib number, go for a short jog to check out the race course, chat with a volunteer to get confirmation about the bike route which I already had studied, chat with those who were chatty, and to keep my distance from those who showed they didn’t want to chat…I had enough time to find a perfect spot for me and set up my transition area quickly and efficiently. I didn’t need to question or doubt myself.

Thanks Wilma for this memorable picture!

During our training, we were taught to warm up properly prior to start of the race. As a group we went for a short run, a short ride, and we swam just before the start of the race. It was a great feeling being with our group. We had trained together, we were warming up together and in a short time we would be competing together. For a few of us, this was our first ever triathlon. Some of our group members were seasoned triathletes with many accomplishments.

Scott gave us last minute instructions about the buoys and where we would start and where we would exit the water. We entered the water and I felt how it was colder than Lake Whittaker where we practice. It was much clearer than Lake Whittaker as well. But rather than the soft sand I was used to, we had to step on slippery, slimy stones to get to the deep end. The sun was shining. It was a gorgeous and beautiful day. I wasn’t nervous. I just wanted the race to get under way.

Fear or Courage?

Swim: 400 m - 13:47.6

During our training at Lake Whittaker, I always took my place at the very back since I was the slowest swimmer and also swimming in the middle of the pack wasn’t my thing. I did not have the necessary skills to maneuver my way between the waves and the limbs! Unfortunately, in this race, swimmers were sent out in waves based on their age group (your age as of December of 2017). I was in the 3rd wave which meant even if I positioned myself at the back, some very fast swimmers from the 4th and the last wave would swim over and around me. Swimmers were treading in the water waiting for our wave to start. Somehow I found myself right in the middle and at the front. I knew this was not where I wanted to be, but immediately I started talking to myself by saying don’t panic, everyone will pass you by and you’ll find your quiet place. Before I knew it, the horn sounded and the race began. Swimmers were all around me and the waves were hitting me left and right.

For the past 5 months at the Y, coaches have been working with me to teach me all there is to know about swimming. Yes, I have learned to swim, I have learned bilateral breathing, and just recently I started rotating my body (when I remember it!), but there are lots of technique that need correction and fine tuning. The most important element that would help me swim faster and more comfortably is my head position and breathing that I have not mastered yet. I have read many articles, watched many videos, and yes my coaches and many other swimmers have told me how I should do it but I still do it wrong. What can I say? I’m not a fast learner when it comes to swimming.

There I was in the middle of the lake with all my non efficient techniques trying to finish 400 meters of swimming. I got a severe case of vertigo and had experienced it on the lake a couple of times during our training. I had looked at the blue sky or the shorelines and top of trees to make myself feel better. But the vertigo that just happened in the middle of my race was the worst case ever. Looking up I could see the stands, the spectators were sitting but everything was still spinning. I put my face back in the water and it seemed to help. I kept swimming and kept talking to myself, “Don’t raise your head to look up again, just keep swimming and push through”. In life, we find ourselves in some very tight and uncomfortable situations, and the only way to survive is to push through and keep moving forward. Since 2014, I have used hashtag #movingforwad on my Instagram. I’m not just saying it, I’m doing it every day. I keep moving forward.

There were swimmers backstroking in my path and I had to move around them. I was slow as I kept lifting my head up, which would drop my body lower and I’d end up doing breast stroke before switching again to freestyle. I lost some time that way. I kept swimming towards the last buoy. I made the last turn and was between two other swimmers. I told myself just keep swimming and maybe a bit of drafting will help you to get to the finish line faster. For a bit I kept with them, but they were fast and gone. I did get to the finish and two race volunteers were right there to help us out by holding our hands on those slippery stones. As I was standing up, I heard my coach’s voice. Scott had the camera saying here’s Mahnaz. I was glad he was there but I wished he had not witnessed my awful swimming. As I ran in front of the spectators to go up the stairs to get back to the transition area, I told the two volunteers “This is my first race! I just finished my swim!” I realized that despite my incorrect techniques, I had overcome my fear and from a non-swimmer I was in the middle of a triathlon race!

Transition from Swim to Bike: T1 = 1:57

I quickly took off my wetsuit. I like socks, despite recommendations that it would be best for short distances to go without them. I was fast getting ready but made several mistakes here:

I should have included electrolytes as part of my transition practice. Based on experience, I have learned that during physical activities and races I sweat more than regular people. I take salt tablets for half or full marathons. I need to hydrate even for a short 5K distance when most people even don’t need to drink or drink only a bit. I had not included hydration in my transit area and I should have. Moving forward, there will be quick sip of my electrolyte.

I wanted to use Strava to record my ride and run. I grabbed my phone as I had done during our training and tried to get Strava started but it was too slow! I was wasting time here.

I had not practiced riding my bike while my phone was tucked in the pocket of my race jersey. As I headed out towards the “Bike Exit” the phone fell. I picked up the phone and as I looked up, I saw Abe, a trusted community friend, an accomplished athlete who had competed in Sprint distance that morning and not to mention he’s very fast too! With no hesitation I asked him if he could hold on to my phone and gave it to him and quickly ran with my bike to start my ride.

I was already flustered when I heard Scott saying “Mahnaz, you have your phone?” I replied that I wanted Strava to record. I couldn’t clip as my frustration was oozing out from head to toe. I started talking out loud saying “take a deep breath, calm down” and I clipped and off I went. T1 will be much faster for the future races!

Bike Ride – 10K (25:28)

During my ride, my head was a jumble of thoughts when I heard someone saying: “Move Over! MAHNAZ, MOVE OVER!” It was Irene, one of my teammates. Evidently, she had been trying to pass me and I was in the middle of the road drowned in my jumbled thoughts. I moved to the right and she zoomed by... I refocused and made sure to stay on the right and not in the middle. I saw familiar faces and kept telling them good job. Some were really focused, but others smiled back and said good job, Mahnaz. I was feeling my quads and wished I had hydrated. I have not mastered drinking on my borrowed Cannondale race bike. I will be practicing drinking and riding for July and August as I want to be able to ride longer and faster. I rode my indoor trainer using Zwift for a few months in the fall. I put in some good mileage and speed. I know I can reach a speed of 30 km/h and have the muscles to push faster for longer distances.

It’s just a matter of improving some basic skills like hydrating while riding! My speed could certainly improve with proper hydration and more practice on the road.

Transition from Bike to Run – T2 = 1:10

I got to the finish line, and had told my coach that I’d rather lift my bike on my shoulder and run to the transit rather than holding on to the bike with one hand and run. But when I lifted my bike the officials told me to put it down and keep hands on your bike. So, I ran fast and told the racer in front of me “ON YOUR LEFT” and I kept running.

I racked my bike quickly, took my helmet and biking shoes, put running shoes on, and had a sip of very warm water from my bottle. There will be a small bottle of electrolyte on my towel next time!

Run – 2.5 K – 14:37

I had set goals to run fast with a time of 12 min or less, but my run was pathetic. My legs were heavy and it felt more like I was jogging than running. I was too slow. I was thirsty and dehydrated and started having sharp pain in my left ovary. Yes, very specific! Such are the delights of being 49 and menopausal! At 1K I saw the hydration station. I took my time to drink electrolytes and wash it down with water. I saw teammates heading back saying “Great job” as we ran past each other. At the turn around I grabbed another water, drank a bit, and dumped it on my head as I was overheating (not weather related just hot flashes!) I zoomed toward the finish line and I heard Scott again saying “Great form or great run…not sure but I’m so glad he couldn’t read all my thoughts being angry with myself for my run!

Thank you Scott for capturing this!

I dashed to the finish line, and just like that the race was over! I got a handshake with I’m not sure …was that John Salt? Or someone else? I got my medal…I heard my team calling my name saying “Way to go Mahnaz”. It was nice having them there… they were cooling off in the lake…it looked like so much fun!

Then I saw Abe. It was so nice of him to stand and cheer us on after he had finished his sprint race early that morning. Then I saw Laura Wall, one of our coaches, who is also an amazing athlete and competitor herself and had raced with us that morning. She is super-fast! She asked me what I thought of the triathlon. I told her I had mix feelings and that I have lots to improve on. She smiled saying meaning you’ll do it again and I said yes.

My plan A was to get my first triathlon race done within 45 minutes. I did not have my phone, I don’t have a watch and therefore, I did not know how I’ve done till heading back on my run I saw 12:20 something. That’s when I knew I had to run a bit faster to achieve plan B which was to finish under 1 hour.

First Triathlon Race at age 49! - 00:56:59.1

I turned around to congratulate Shelley as she finished her race. We had exchanged a few words on the course while running and I wanted to give her a hug. We walked on the deck towards the team, I took my shoes and medal off and jumped in the water!

All the first timers had their picture taken together. It was an amazing feeling to stand there as a newbie and a first timer. A gorgeous sunny day with lots of friends and smiling faces. Many of my teammates got placed in their age group. They did amazing! I was so proud to be sitting there knowing I trained with these amazing and inspiring athletes.

Multisport Canada: This was a great venue with many great volunteers, an awesome race shirt, and a finisher’s medal which is a huge bonus to remember your first triathlon race! The gorgeous weather made the whole experience even better. I will definitely go back next year for a race at Welland. My next race with MSC is at Lakeside in September. You can still sign up for their races this summer!

Driving on the back roads was peaceful. I thought about the whole experience. From talking to my friend Stephan to crossing the finish line. Many people had inspired, helped, supported, encouraged, and motivated me. I was thankful to all of them for this great experience.

My coach, Scott Mallory, for being patient, supportive, and encouraging from training to racing. The fact that he was there in the early hours of the morning to cheer, support, and perhaps make notes (hahah) says that he’s one dedicated coach.

My teammates who have supported me every day knowing I was struggling with my swim. Everyone has been kind, non-judgmental, and has helped me with my swim by offering tips and sharing their knowledge. My teammates are inspiring individuals who are dedicated to their training, work hard, and support one another.

Sheri Fraser Coaching

I’m so glad I got connected with Sheri Fraser. I have attended one of her Swim Clinics and I also attend her Splash N Dash once a week for open water swim and a 5K run. She is an accomplished ironman athlete with a wealth of knowledge and experience. Listening to her, you can pick up little tips that can have major effect on how you will move forward. One of the things she mentioned at one of her clinics was an example of some international ironman who’s strokes are not that great but they have amazing strength in their kicks and therefore achieve some unbelievable fast times. When she shared this, she didn’t mean to say you don’t have to improve your stroke, rather she meant you can still finish the swim despite all the imperfections in your technique and in some cases athletes are able to finish well. That gave me hope. A twinkle of light. I am self-conscious about how I swim and I had this fear that I’d be the slowest person on the race course. Listening to her, I found a glimmer of hope that I may finish my swim with some decent time. I practiced more at the Y by myself and kept timing myself. I’m sure my technique was not proper but I practiced anyway and saw a drop in my time. Thank you Sheri for being a great mentor, developing your athletes, and providing the opportunity for all of us to achieve our goals.

"Set your goals high, and don't stop till you get there." Bo Jackson

Next? Back to the training with the tri family!

My times in all three sports were not fast by any means. But I'm happy with MY FIRST TRIATHLON race result.

There is no shame in progress!

~ Moving Forward ~

Follow me on Twitter and Instagram: Nomadicrunner45
on Strava: Nomadic Runner

Climbing My Own Mount Everest - My Marathon Story

2016-10-20T21:45:00.001-04:00

Everybody has their own Mount Everest they were put on this earth to climb." - Seth Godin

As I walked my way through the crowd to reach my corral, I was strangely calm knowing that during the night I had made peace with myself and had decided just to complete the race. I saw people chatting, laughing, excited, some jumping up and down, some dancing to the music, some extremely nervous, some pushing their way to the very front. I stayed in my spot and thought about the finish line. I had battled a cold for the last five days and had not had much sleep and a lot had happened in the past 24 hours that was out of my control (details maybe in another blog!)

As the crowd started moving closer to the start line, I tuned everyone out. I focused on my mantra: You’re mental game is strong. You can finish this race. I reminded myself that I have done all the training, my body may decide to fail, but my mind will keep me going. As the gun went off, the rain started coming down.

There was a sea of people running. Some were trying to run the tangents and I got elbowed a few times. I moved to the left side of the road and stayed there. I love running trails more than roads. That’s where I can find peace and tranquility. I realized running with a huge crowd makes me a bit claustrophobic. I need space to breath. I then shifted my thoughts from the racers to the crowd on the side of the road. I settled in to my run and rhythm. It was impressive to see people of all ages cheering for us. They could have easily stayed home on a rainy Saturday morning. You couldn’t help but smile, nod, give a thumbs up, wave, and say thank you. Thank you Toronto and the unbelievable crowd!

Four New Black Toes!

At 6K I spotted the Black Toe Running crowd cheering station. I had told Mark at the expo I would be wearing my singlet I got from him during the 2014 expo. He promised they’d cheer louder when they saw me and they DID! This gave me a renewed sense of hope that I may actually meet my goal of a sub 4 hour marathon. Thank you Black Toe Running family for cheering louder!

I spotted from afar the Pace and Mind family cheering their hearts out. But as I got closer, they turned around to cheer for the elites who were on their way back. Then I saw the elite athletes coming back and couldn’t help calling their names out and cheering them on too. Seeing female elite runners being so focused and running so hard reminded me of "Everybody has their own Mount Everest they were put on this earth to climb." I felt a bit stronger and kept moving forward.

I saw Andrew, one of the digital champions of the 2014 STWM. I called out his name; he looked up and gave me a big smile. We reached out our hands but alas, were fast moving in different directions, it was more of an act of comradeship and unspoken words of wishing each other good luck.

A bit further down, a volunteer with a megaphone was singing which I couldn’t really understand the words, and then she would inform runners about Gatorade ahead. Her out of tune singing reminded of me and Sia’s lyrics:

And I don't care if I sing off key

I find myself in my melodies

I sing for love, I sing for me

I shout it out like a bird set free.

I smiled and kept moving forward. I appreciated some quiet moments to re-focus and stay strong. Then I saw a familiar face that I had chatted with the night before. She was cheering with a big smile. I called out here name: "Heather! Heather!" She made eye contact and we smiled. She had run her fast 5K and now was cheering with her tribe! I was happy to have met her in person the night before at the expo! An inspirational athlete.

Then I saw Aries. We had chatted a bit prior to my race. I told him I was struggling and he feast pumped saying “Keep going strong”. I was happy to see him even though he was heading back with his runner. Got a bit of energy and kept going.

I made sure all the cheering stations got a smile and thumbs up. I made sure all the volunteers got a thank you and a smile. It is very hard being a volunteer at a hydration stations with runners splashing and throwing their cups all over the place. Thank you so much for doing one of the hardest volunteer jobs during a race for several hours!

Thank You Toronto!

Along the way saw many runners who were struggling. Some were lying down with paramedics attending to them. Some were holding to whatever they could find and holding on to their cramped muscles cringing with pain. I kept taking my salt tabs and reminding myself that my mental game is stronger than my body. I quickly asked a couple of runners if they needed help and they shook their head. I kept going.

On the bridge, I quickly looked at my phone and saw I had a few text messages. My daughter who was tracking me online seeing I had done well for the first half and offering encouragement. My son had texted me to find out how I was doing. I got teary eyes. I had told him I will text him as soon as I cross the finish line. But now the finish line seemed so far away and I felt I had let him down.

At the super friendly neighborhood of Beaches, kids were handing out small pieces of banana. It was very satisfying and renewed my energy once again.

I realized I had only 9 more kilometers to go and I remembered my training knowing exactly from my house to where and back would make 9K. I reminded myself I could do this. I’m almost there.

As I was more focused and not looking around, I heard from behind me someone with excitement calling Jean Paul! JP! I quickly turned around and saw my beautiful friend JP on the opposite side! I turned around and ran back calling out his name. The third time, he heard me and turned around. I told him give me a hug! We embraced and met face to face for the first time. If you haven’t heard of JP, I suggest visiting his website to learn about his advocacy, activism and relentless effort to increase awareness of childhood sexual abuse and to help survivors finding their voice. We connected in 2014 through running and specifically through the Canadian Running Series, where JP was a digital champion. Like many of you who know JP and have bonded with him, I also share a special bond with him. I told him I love him and with a kiss I started to turn around and I saw Mary-Ann, JP’s faithful partner on a bike smiling. I waved at her saying “I love you!” and kept going. My heart was happy but I had teary eyes while I had smile on my face. I kept going. I reminded myself why I decided to run in the first place!

The last few kilometers were really tough. Then I saw from my corner of eye someone coming close to me calling my name. It was my good friend, Darren. He also was one of digital champions in 2014 I befriended on Twitter. I was so happy to see him. We quickly embraced and I told him I was dying. I had a severe back spasm that I had never had before during any of my runs. He said “YOU’RE F***ING ROCKING IT!” hahaha! Two other tall guys running alongside me echoed Darren’s sentiment! I couldn’t help but smile and say, “Thank you!”. He ran with me for a bit while we chatted. I told him to be mindful of his injury as he’s recovering. He said he was able to track me for a while online. His words of support and encouragement meant a lot to me. I was really dying but him believing in my strength gave me a renewed sense of hope and courage to get my mental game stronger. I parted with my friend and the two tall guys said stick with us, we’re going to cross the finish line together. I said thank you! You keep going; I have my eyes on you. I’m coming. I’m right behind you.

The last kilometers…loud cheers…..the crowd is pumping people not to give up…and my back…severe pain…my mind: “straighten yourself up; chest forward; smile; you are stronger than your body; you came all this way and your back can’t stop you….then I spotted Brandon, one of my Pace and Mind running friends who I got to know through Twitter. He had the biggest smile, clapping, cheering, and came closer and I said “Brandon! Thank you! OMG!” He was so inspiring that I got a good boost of energy from his genuine cheers. I was so happy to have seen him there. What a big difference familiar faces make.

During the last 100 meters or so, I heard a loud cheer behind me and I thought to myself, the crowd must have spotted someone they know. That is really nice. And I kept going. I was happy for all the cheers from all the supporters on the street. Later, on Ingstagram I learned the loud cheer was for me from my friends Cathy and Melly!!!! So much love from the running community. I hope you all know how much those cheers meant to me even though sometimes I did not see you or recognized you in the crowd!

Then I saw the bend. I had made it. I relaxed a bit more and smiled. I crossed the finish line. I thanked the tall boys and turned to volunteers saying “You guys are AWESOME!” “ALL OF YOU!” One of the volunteers said “We love you too!”

I did not have a PB (Personal Best) or a BQ (Boston Qualifying Time). I was much slower than my previous marathon. It was raining. It was humid. I had battled a cold. I was wet. I had two big blisters on the ball of each foot. And oh so many other reasons that made me not go faster! I wish things had worked out that day but some things are not under our control. What mattered was the fact; I completed the race and had done it with lots of support and love from my friends. I had received so much love that day. It humbled me. It was about gratitude and being thankful to have received so much love and courage from all these people today. My heart was filled with love. I was a winner that day.

We all have our own Mount Everest to climb. Running is a common thread that has connected us. We belong. We share. We understand. We support. Runners do this even during grueling marathon races through meaningful eye contact moving at opposite directions, reaching out hands that don’t meet, teary eyes, twinkling eyes, big smiles, triumphant looks, hugs, kisses, and we tell each other how much they mean to us, we are constantly inspired by runners and their stories. They’re not necessarily about paces and times but rather about how they have overcome challenges in their own personal lives. ♥

Running Community ♥ Caring Community

Thank you Alan Brooks of the Canadian Running Series for making it possible for runners to connect and develop meaningful friendships.

Thank you my Running Room family for your support during our training. We were a great group of runners! A special thank you to Jeff and lovely Karen, the husband and wife team who helped us with fueling and hydration throughout our training this past summer, THANK YOU! You were an integral part of our training and we won’t forget your kindness. Thank you Jeff for texting me saying I was rocking my first half. That meant a lot.

Thank you my London Community Foundation family for all your love and support during my training, before my race, and during my recovery for past two days. I am really blessed to have great support system in place.

Thank you to all my supporters on Twitter, Instagram and Strava. Thank you to all of my supporters from around the world. I appreciate you and your support.

Special thank you from this mama bear to my cubs for their unconditional love and support.

“Most people run a race to see who is fastest. I run a race to see who has the most guts.” – Steve Prefontaine

Top Left: My Exhausted Face before the Race!

My Ultramarathon Journey

2015-07-22T22:52:00.001-04:00

Right after my first marathon on October 14, 2014 I was setting new goals.

I had fallen in love with trail running and wanted to do an ultra marathon. On November 1, 2014 I registered for the Sulphur Springs 50K and started my training. Unfortunately, due to an ITB injury which occurred in March, I had to switch that race to a 10K.

I decided to register for The North Face Endurance ChallengeSeries for July 18, 2015 at Blue Mountains, Ontario. The online 16 week training program I used indicated I had missed the first 6 weeks of training, during which I had been strength and cross training mostly. I increased my mileage slowly (the 10% rule) and listened to my body. I had built up my long runs up to 32K back in March. It was May 10 and I had 10 weeks to go. I did my training running various trails and roads around London. I continued with cross training doing various activities such as cycling, rowing, elliptical, yoga, and of course weights, kettle bells, and specific core strengthening workouts for runners. The result of my hard work was evident through my long runs as I had no glute, hip or knee issues. Although I was running at a much slower pace than before, running for 2 to 3 hours produced no pain or discomfort.

~ May 2015 - Komoka ~

I’ve become very good at trail running since I picked it up in May 2014. Sometimes I feel like a kid running through the playground and just zig-zagging my way through the woods. Getting closer to the race, I knew I could complete the race within 7 hours. But I remained true to my original goals of completing, smiling, and staying injury free.

I got to Blue Mountain Resort Friday afternoon after a 3 hour drive from London. I picked up my bib and had enough time to visit the beach before heading to a friend’s place 17 min away.

~ Northwind Beach ~

Linda, a seasoned trail runner herself had graciously offered a place for me to stay over the weekend. We had been connected through a running friend from London when I had sent an email out to find out if I could share a ride and stay with someone for the race. I had my craft dinner and pretzels to snack on. She offered lots of delicious food but I had to refuse as I did not want to take any chances the night before my race. It was great that she herself as a runner was aware of everyone’s specific routine and regiment. We chatted a bit about food, nutrition, running and London’s running community.

I was ready to hit the sack at 8. Although I knew I would not be able to sleep very well, I decided to call it a night as I was getting anxious a bit. I wanted to meditate and relax. Her place was perfect and quiet. My room backed onto a tennis court and the birds were chirping as I closed my eyes and was thankful for the generosity of this very kind woman. I drifted off and when I woke up I think it was past nine. I got up brushed my teeth and went back to bed again. Till 4 am I woke up many times but I was at peace. I was not anxious.

At 4 am I was foam rolling and did some active isolated stretches. I had breakfast and left the house around 6:15. I had told Linda if I was feeling well I would drive back to London. If I was sick I’d go back to her place for a 2^nd night. We left it at that. She was expecting more guests arriving on Saturday as a number of them along with Linda were racing on Sunday with The North Face Endurance Challenge Series. I thought to myself it would be nice to go back the 2^nd night and socialize and have some fun.

I drove to the race location and was happy to see lots of parking spaces were available despite the fact the 50 miler racers had started at 5 am! I dropped off my backpack at the designated tent which had my change of clothes for after the race. I had enough time to use the bathroom a few times, to relax, take some pictures, and eat my banana.

~ Blue Mountains Village ~

I could not drink my coffee and pre-race energizer drink. My throat was shut that morning! I am a coffee drinker but that morning I just could not drink it. My heels were feeling fine and there was no pain what so ever. My cold was masked by medication.

Closer to the start time I walked up to the starting area and there was a very nice photographer that asked me if he could take my picture and I shyly smiled and said yes! He was super nice and several times throughout the race we crossed paths.

~ Pre-race Photo ~

Before I knew it, the second wave had started and my dream of becoming an ultra marathoner was becoming a reality. Some of the runners took off really fast but I was in no hurry. I had come to the race believing in my goal that I would complete the 50K trail run and smile at the end. I was not competing with anyone and I wanted to enjoy every moment of my journey. My body took a good 3K to wake up and find its rhythm. I was glad that I took cold meds and was not coughing, sneezing, and did not have a headache. My heels were not aching. Everything was in order. I walked up the hills from the start. And I have to say the hills were right from the start and there was no end!

I passed a woman who was struggling and said “OMG! This is so different from road running” This was her first ever trail run! I wonder how far she got that day! I came across many people who had just decided to come to the race because their friends were coming or they had thought this was another obstacle course and they could just show up, have fun and celebrate with a beer at the end. But I was too polite to make any comments. Who was I to judge anyone? I could hear sometimes breathing on the back of my neck and I swiftly step aside and said please pass by it’s OK, I’m taking my time to go slow. I don’t know how many times I said that.

We got to a downhill and afterwards upon reflection I believe this was where I made a crucial mistake. I wanted to make up for the lost time on all the hills and flew down and used the momentum to glide through some parts of the trail till I got to the next hill.

~ Light and Fast ~

The course constantly changed from green lush forest to woods, mountain, rocks, pebbles, gravel, a few roads, muddy areas, areas covered with hay, slippery slopes, and lots and lots of hills! Did I mention the course was hilly?I arrived at the first station and most runners were complaining about the heat. I was totally fine. I love the heat and had trained in the heat. Despite the fact I love the heat, I knew I had to take some measures to stay healthy and comfortable. I asked Josh, one of the volunteers, to dump some water on my head. He was glad to do it!

~ Josh - One of many wonderful volunteers.~

For the rest of the race at every station I got water over my head and washed my face and arms. The flies stayed away as I was less stinky and it kept me cool. I drank Gatorade followed by water. I ate ½ banana followed by 2 more waters. Towards the end I started having Cliff shot blocks, some potatoes, and a few chips. I carried salt tabs, Eload tabs, and gels but I only used two gels. I preferred banana and potatoes. The stations were placed strategically and always showed up in the right place at the right time. The highlight of this event for me was the volunteers. They were the most friendly, happy, helpful, and amazing group of volunteers I have ever seen. They cheered, talked to us, provided support, and they were ready and happy to dump water on me. I just loved them!

~ More Friendly and Happy Volunteers. ~

There was a place in the woods where the path opened up and all you could see were tall green trees. The forest looked beautiful in the early hours of the morning with the sun trying to peek through. The fast runners had gone far ahead and the slow runners were way behind. It was just me floating smoothly in the most serene and calm area of the race. I was floating through the forest without a sound from my feet on the soft grass. I felt happy and content the way the journey was shaping up.

~ Photo Credit: With permission from Endurance Challenge,

Photo by: Remi Bastier ~

I passed a runner at some point that I thought was in distress but learned she was trying to make a video for social media about her journey. I crossed paths with her again at the end under a very different circumstance. I passed her and kept going. I was doing really well. Everything was great. The scenery, the mountain, the views, the ever changing landscape of the Bruce trails, seeing Georgian Bay from high above, the blue sky, the sunshine…

~ Georgian Bay ~

I saw many friends who were running their 50 miler and we hi fived wishing each other good luck. I took pictures of racers with their camera and they took my picture too. I stopped and enjoyed the scenery. Although my 10 year old son scolded at me saying maybe next time you should not waste time and just run!

~ Refreshing Cold Crisp Water - Behind me was a water fall! ~

It was around 18K that I started feeling a bit of stiffness around my left knee. It had happened during my training as well but had gone away after a short period of time. Then it happened! My ITB injury was aggravated by all the hills I had climbed. I was in the middle of a flat field on a narrow path that was covered on both sides by long grass and had to stop and catch my breath from the sharp drilling pain on the outside of my left knee. I panicked and started to think, I’m only at 21K! I still have 29K to go. I thought about using my cell to call for help or at the next aid station I will ask them to take me back to the village. I shook my head and immediately wiped off the idea of quitting! I was appalled at myself for thinking of those ideas. The negotiation between mind and body was under way. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I remembered that morning before starting my car I had seen the bottle of Ibuprofen that had 8 caps in it. I had gone to the trunk to find a small plastic and put them in there and place them in my Jenny Vest just in case of emergency. I was grateful for my decision. I took one cap right away. At this time, I was walking believing that the rest and the pill would work and get me running soon. But deep down I could not believe my own story. Every runner that I had left behind started passing me one by one. I had crossed paths with a French couple a few times. I told them my ITB had flared up and that I was slowing down a lot. The gentleman said to look at it as an adventure. It is not a race. Hearing him was just what I needed to relax and let go of my anxiety.

After I was alone again I started pleading with the higher powers saying I just need to do this for me. Just let me finish. Going home with a DNF is not an option for me. So, the hardest part of my journey began. I was limping even when I was walking. At this time, another runner caught up with me and asked if I needed help. I told her about my situation and she said “Take two pills and take them every hour! YOU ARE GOING TO COMPLETE THIS RACE!” She sounded like she was my coach and was telling me “Quitting is NOT an option!” She left and I was so empowered by her words I took 2 more pills but not every hour. Well, let’s say I took all the 8 pills during the race. Normally, I don’t take Ibuprofen that often. My body is so sensitive that taking one pill makes me dizzy. I’m shocked I did not collapse or get dizzy with an overdose of Ibuprofen that day. I got to the next aid station and said “Am I the last one?” and they said “God no. There are still people coming”

I thanked all the volunteers at every station and told them how much they are valued for their work. They replied thanks for racing and thank you for recognizing our work.

~ Great Volunteers Working Hard To Take Care of US! ~

I knew my personal struggle with pain would linger but I couldn’t let it ruin my whole experience. I continued interacting with the racers when it was welcomed. I kept talking to volunteers, I smiled when I was surrounded by people and in my loneliness I reflected and tried not to cry although I came close to tears so many times. I decided to stay strong and enjoy the journey despite the injury. I knew looking back at this day years from now, I wanted to say I’m happy the way I carried myself. Only if they knew what was going on my head. I kept moving forward.

"I walk slowly but I never walk backwards." Abraham Lincoln

I came across Mark who had come to this race with his friend but severe leg cramps had slowed him down. I offered him salt tabs but he said he got some salty stuff in at the aid station. I told him I have them if he needs them. I asked him if he had Ibuprofen as I may need them towards the end. He said he had one. We walked together through the woods for a while and then he took off. For the rest of the race we saw each other many times. And yes, I did take his only Ibuprofen.

I was running on pure determination. A lot of runners gave me encouraging words saying you’re doing great, keep it up, looking good, and you’ve got this. It meant a lot to hear those words, even though I was in a lot of pain. I also provided encouragement to other runners. Throughout the race, many runners asked me if I needed help but I quickly would say “It’s just my ITB. I’m going slow”. I saw a few runners who were sitting down to take a rest due to the heat. Their faces were red and they were panting. I’d ask them if they needed help and they’d say no thanks, just taking a break.

I had no fuel or hydration issues. I was fine with the heat and as a matter of fact, it wasn’t on my mind at all. My focus was how to maneuver through the course with my injured knee. I quickly learned how to use my whole body to carry my left leg. Downhills were the toughest part of the course for me as the pressure was too much on my leg. At some point, I became very emotional and I wanted to cry but the strong and tough side of me would take over and say “Mahnaz, you have a choice here to cry and be weak and let them come carry you away OR toughen up and pull that damn leg down the hill!” I pulled it down. I learned to go down side ways hopping short steps with the right leg and pulling myself down. One runner said lie down and roll yourself to the bottom of the hill. I don’t think I wanted to have other sorts of injuries! It works in the movies though! I started walking faster pumping my arms. I am a very good walker. Sometimes for relaxation I backpack through my town all day. My son says mom your walking is faster than my jogging! I started feeling a bit of pain between my shoulder blades. The vest I was wearing was comfortable but after hours of climbing even that was too much on my back.

"You may encounter many defeats but you must not be defeated." Maya Angelou

At 44K I was in a group of 5 walkers including myself. I don’t know if it was the ibuprofen or just sheer will and determination, I felt stronger and I pulled away from them. I kept walking faster and faster. I hopped and even jogged a bit. At 45K my Garmin beeped and went black. I work with MEC as their event staff. When I had told them my Garmin Forerunner 10 was not ideal for an ultramarathon, and asked for help they generously offered me a brand new Garmin 220 to test! I had no time to figure out what was going on with the watch. As I was going for a 2^nd loop I started panicking. There was nobody in the woods. It was just me. I was sure I had followed the flags. Every distance was marked by a specific colour. 50K racers bib colour was blue and we had followed it all the way. But being the only one with not a sound in the creepy quiet woods, I was beginning to think I must have gone the wrong way. Why weren’t the other guys behind me? Then I saw a volunteer sitting on a chair and he had a red arrow pointing up for the 50milers and a blue arrow to the right for the 50Ks. I told him am I going the right way? He said “yes.” I told him I should be done by now my watch died and it seems I should have been at the finish line by now. He said only 3K down the hill and up. I continued on but got really scared.

~ Bruce Trails - Majestic and Humbling ~

Then I saw the same woman who was trying to make a video during the early hours of the morning. I asked her if she knew what kilometer we were at and she didn’t know. I told her this is dragging on and we should be done by now. She said we are on the right track and that soon we will come to the aid station. The aid station was at the top of a very steep hill. We both pushed on. She was a bit ahead of me. I saw her stop with her hands on her knees bending over looking completely exhausted. I was in the same boat as her. I had my hands on my knees bent over and exhausted. I padded her on the back saying we can do it. You’re doing great, let’s go. The volunteers were encouraging us to keep moving and not to stop. One of them came down a bit to hold her hands. The other guy was telling me to pump my arms. I had no energy to talk back telling him I had pumped my arms all day and there was nothing left to pump any more at this point. There was a young girl she must have been 11 or 12 came with a cold face wash and ice. That was heavenly. I told her thank you and how proud of her I was for doing such a great job in a hot day like this. I got ready to face the hardest last 2K through winding and narrow wooden steps and steep downward hills in the wooded area that led to an open field at the end towards the finish line.

~ Most visited station and most wonderful volunteers! ~

As I got to the woods I saw the French couple going down. I got close to them and said “here you are my friends. We meet again.” I noticed the woman had slowed down and they were quiet. I got behind her and slowed down but she shifted telling me she didn’t want to slip. I nodded and moved sideways. The first time going down these steps it had taken me a long time while everyone was gliding through the air. This time I was using short quick steps to get through it as fast as I could. I kept pushing forward and I came to the opening. I told myself this is it.

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment." Marcus Aurelius

The mind over body negotiation intensified. I had imagined myself many times running through the finish line with a big smile. Something else took over. I started walking faster, I started to jog, and I started to run short quick steps. I was feeling no pain. I knew I was going to make it. Then a 50 miler zoomed by me saying “great job!” I said thank you & got faster. I saw the spectators to the right cheering. They cheered louder as another 50 miler zoomed by me. I got even faster…I felt tall…happy, ecstatic…I had told myself SMILE! You’re almost there! I crossed the finish line! No matter the pain and what I had gone through, this was a moment to be celebrated and be proud of! I raised my hands and yelled from top of my longs “I DID IT!”

~ Mind Over Body ~

I high fived a group racers who had gathered right at the finish line and I could not stop smiling. One of the officials checked my bib quickly making sure I had completed the race and I had all the permanent markers from all the aid stations. I saw Adam my friend who had completed his 80K! I had randomly cheered him at Springbank a month ago and we became friends. We congratulated each other. His dad took a picture of us. I was overwhelmed with emotions. I was limping again but I didn’t care. I went to get a massage but they wanted me to wait around as there was a wait list and only four people were giving massages. I opted to go and place my feet in the ice cold water. There were some runners who had fallen a few times and they were covered in mud. Then I turned to the guy next to me and I saw his medal and remembered nobody gave me my medal! All I wanted was to sit there and not to move but I got on my feet again and went back to the start line and asked the photographer who’s going to give me my medal. She found someone and he gave it to me. She apologized but I said no worries, I have it now.

~ Earned it! ~

I was talking to another runner who I had crossed path a few times during the race. He had fallen and had glute pain. I was happy to see he had completed. As I turned around the French woman came to me and said listen I just wanted to say congratulations! You did it! I was overwhelmed with emotion and I said can I hug you and of course she said NO. LOL! We shook hands and I congratulated her as well.

~ During our joureny we crossed path a few times. ~

I got my backpack and headed to the bathroom to change when I saw my friend Patrick. He was the first runner on Twitter to follow me. He looked great after his 50 miler! We took a couple of pictures, chatted for a bit and parted ways. I also saw another great runner from Toronto, Aries.

Then I saw a couple and we smiled and I said congratulations on completing your 50K! She replied “you mean 55K!” I said what? You ran 55K? Why? She said we all did. The light bulb went on! I told her how in the woods I felt I was running more than I was supposed to! When you learn to run without your watch during your training you develop those skills and can guess your mileage. I made a mental note of that. It’s funny when I crossed the finish line I did not pay attention to the timer or the medal. I had achieved two out of three goals. I completed my first ultra marathon. I smiled at the finish line. But I was injured.

I changed in the bathroom and cleaned up. I decided to head home as I knew that the day after I wouldn’t be able to drive for 3 hours. As I sat on the bench to put my shoes on there was a family from India with lots of kids and one of the girls just stared at me and then I heard her telling her parents she has a medal for 50 kilometers. I got up, stopped in front of her and said stay active and start running and when you grow up you can run 50K too. She smiled with a twinkle in her eyes.

The food provided were burgers with side salads. While eating, I ended up talking to a runner from the states who does TNFECS regularly. We walked through the square to figure out where they were giving free beers but there were none. We went looking for Repreeve socks but the person had left a sign saying be back tomorrow. I told the guy well, I’m blogging about my race and I have to be honest on my blog. I went to the area where some of the race officials (volunteers) were answering people’s questions and they said there was no beer and one of them, realizing we were leaving the village, offered to give us our socks. With that I started walking to my car. Evidently the food and drink after the race in the states are lined up and organized really well for the runners after race.

I headed to the tent where the ultramarathoner himself, Dean Karnazes, was interacting with all the race finishers. I told him about my knee injury briefly and he said “Mahnaz, you are a true runner. You have the mental strength to get you through. Congratulations!” I was all choked up with emotion and really want to give him a big hug and cry but just ended up shaking his hand and saying thank you.

"Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up." Dean Karnazes

I drove back another 3 hours as I knew my mobility would be limited and I couldn’t drive the next day. When I got home, I unloaded the car, took a shower, did laundry, ate Edamame and sat on my bed uploading the Garmin. The Garmin showed 54.79 KM!!!

~ 54.79 KM in 9:33 ~

55 kilometers and 9.5 hours later with 3 new black bloody bruised toes, and a knee injury, I was now an ultra marathoner!

Race Review

Would I recommend this race? Yes. As someone who is part of event planning for races and volunteering with many events in my community, I have some feedback that I hope the organizers will see as an opportunity to make this race one of the best TNF series!

*If you are coming to this race for swag and knick knacks, FORGET IT. I personally don’t care for stuff as I am a minimalist. I would like to have a great experience after the race rather going home with stuff. The race gives you a decent technical shirt and your medal. There is a virtual race bag with some deals which is fantastic in terms of sustainability and going paperless.

* The volunteers and aid stations were the highlight of this race for me. They were simply the best. They had something for everyone and there was no shortage of fuel and drink. Although more shade for the volunteers and tables would be great.

* More volunteers towards the end during the last loop to reassure runners and provide that mental boost would be fantastic.

*Although things are placed in close proximity for someone who has been running all day it still seems like a huge task to walk around. It would be great to have the ice bath and massage tables closer to the lodge that had restrooms and food.

*A great idea to have massage therapists on site. It would be ideal to have more of them to shorten the wait time for many runners at the end. Especially for those who are headed home right after.

*The ice buckets were great but towards the end the water was dark and muddy. It would be great to give the runners who are coming in at the end of the day the same treatment as those arrived hours earlier. The water should be changed and the buckets kept clean.

*The emails should let the racers know that there is no beer at the end for Ontario and the food is just burger with side salad. This way, the runners can decide to bring their own food for after the race or purchase food. The emails were implying there would be a great option of hot and cold food at the end with a beer.

*Months leading to the race day, informative, supportive and encouraging emails kept coming. They are filled with tips and information. I printed a copy of the race guide and studied it religiously. Preparation and visualization of how you’ll be running on your race day should be a part of any runner’s training.

*Course measurements were way off. On the printed guide it indicates 50K exact. I’m not sure where the inconsistency comes in. I was with a group of 5 people at 44K and I left them behind. When I checked the results one of them had finished 15 min earlier than me. I did not see him passing me at any point after 44K. Did he go back to finish line realizing he was running over 50K? I ran 55K at 9:33. The organizers need to fix this. I had an injury and I was on the course for longer period of time for no reason. It is not fair when some people know when to head back while the rest of us thinking we can’t quit and need to finish 50K while in fact we are running longer. This to me is a serious flaw that needs to be fixed.

*This is a huge race that requires months of preparation and many volunteers to make it a successful race. The volunteers did an amazing job and the officials were super helpful and awesome. I would hope to go back one day to Blue Mountain and run it faster without any injury. If you are healthy, have trained well - train in hot temperatures ;) – you will enjoy this challenge tremendously.

2015-2016 Goals

My top priorities are recovery and healing. I need to get rid of the knee issue for good. I won’t be racing for the rest of the year.

I am going to learn how to swim and prepare for my triathlon next summer. I will continue with cross training, running short distances of trails, and strength workouts.

The next big goal will be an ultra marathon for the Fall of 2016. I will need to figure out where in the States I should book myself for a mini vacation.

~ Thank you to anyone who believed in my dream! I appreciate having you in my life. ~

For those of you who don't know my story, I was size 16 in 2008 and started running July 2013. Anything is possible!

~ Thank you The North Face Challenge Series - Ontario for making my dream a reality! ~

My First Duathlon

2015-06-14T10:13:00.001-04:00

I usually drive on the highway but this time I decided to take the country roads. It was a beautiful morning and the sun was just coming up. I turned the radio on and it was playing a country song. Normally, I would change stations as I’m not a country music fan, but for some reason I didn’t this time. The empty road, the gorgeous morning, and that music were a great combo! I made a mental note to look up the artist when I got back home later that day. (Bring Down the House by Dean Brody!)

I was heading to my first duathlon race in Woodstock! In 2008 I was an overweight woman who wore size 16 clothing and had no activity whatsoever. I wasn’t always like that but somehow life had taken a turn for the worse and I needed to do something about it and I did. Here I was now, driving to a new destination to participate in a duathlon.

I want to look back at my life and smile saying “I did that.” I don’t want to have regrets. I don’t participate in races to make the podium, win prizes, or to beat other athletes’ times. I’m in it to challenge myself. I compare and evaluate my outcome to who I was and who I have become. I have goals and I have work ethic but I’m the only one I’m competing against. Sure, I look at my overall performance and ranking to see where I stand, but it’s to set new goals for myself and do better for me.

I was going in with the intention of doing my best and being satisfied afterwards with my accomplishment. I wasn’t going in with high expectations of winning, making good time, or any pressure like many other athletes go through. This was my first duathlon and I just wanted to have a great time and experience it.

Of course, you think driving from London to Woodstock is pretty straightforward but I ended up making two wrong turns at the roundabouts as I kept forgetting to count the appropriate lines! And no, I’m not directionally challenged. I have travelled extensively on highways but country roads can be challenging!

I still made it on time. I always give myself time for unforeseen mishaps and what not.

As I was devouring my banana, I heard my friend Darren talking to his partner Rob about the parking locations. We gave each other hugs and I joked about how I got lost two times already! I was really happy to see Darren there. I learned from our Twitter conversation that he was going to be in Woodstock and I made up my mind to do my first duathlon there and see him too. I got to know Darren before my first marathon through the Canadian Running Series.

"Darren and I met in London when he attended a conference in 2014"

MultiSportCanada had sent a detailed email out a few days before the race. I had read everything carefully. As this was my first race, I had sought a lot of information from my spin coach at Pulse Spin Studio and had lots of communication with Darren. Both of them had provided me with invaluable info. I grabbed the mountain bike that my spin coach had lent me with my gym bag that had my recovery drink, towel, change of clothes, etc and headed down to where the action was. I picked up my bib and headed back to the bike area and racked my bike. If I had not read the entire race info I would have been really lost. Preparation and knowing what’s expected of you is an important part of the race. I noticed right away the athletes who had their bikes on the same rack as me were very intense. They meant business. They really did not want to chat either. I left to go pick up my race kit, chip timer, and to get my age and bib number written down on my body. I ran into Mike. He was there to support his friend Shea who was participating in her first triathlon. We chatted for a bit and I continued on to the lineup. I really liked my technical shirt. The volunteers were smiling and got things done efficiently.

I went back to the transition area to put my race kit stuff back in the bag when I noticed someone had racked their bike in between and now my bike seemed to be the one in the wrong position. I asked a couple of guys who were next to our rack if they saw who had just parked but they didn’t know. Instead they offered to help me to turn my bike around.

I went looking for Darren and saw him coming back from a short test ride. We took a picture and I told him that I had borrowed the bike and he suggested going for a short test drive. I’m glad I did as the very first hill is right when you’re heading out!

I headed back to the transition area and this time someone had arrived late and decided to rack their bike right next to me. My bike and towel were shoved to the side and the small space I had claimed which had my race gear set up neatly was messed up. I got really upset and turned around to see who had done it but everyone seemed to be busy doing their stuff and getting ready. Again the guy next to me said “here, just move here” and made room for my bike. That was nice of him to help me out. It was evident that the intense people now had their whole group together. I really did not care for their attitude as they didn’t represent or symbolize athleticism and sportsmanship.

As I was waiting to use the bathroom one last time, I saw the beautiful and talented Ms. CherylMadliger. We hugged and embraced and she said to make sure to smile as you cross the finish line. We wished each other good luck and she was gone to achieve a new PB in her triathlon!

As we headed towards the start line, I saw Darren again and wished him good luck. As he is an elite athlete, he headed to the front row looking fierce and ready. It is people like Darren that influence and encourage a newbie like me to come and be part of this amazing athletic community. I joined in conversation with a few young women who had done Woodstock the previous year. I told them I’m confident about my run but not sure about the hills that everyone talks about.

The race began and it was a beautiful sunny day. I finished my 5K in 26:54. I was happy with that considering my ITB injury in March and the fact that this race was my 2^nd race of the season. No pain, no discomfort, a bit speed and it was all good.

I got to the transition area, took a gel and washed it down with some water. I noticed my shades were missing. I put my helmet on and saw another intense lady throwing somebody’s bike on the grass saying “If it’s in my way it goes down” I assumed another later comer must have invaded her space! I grabbed my bike and ran up the hill to the start line. I got on my bike and got nowhere! LOL! I sucked on the mountain bike. The gel had not worked yet and I made a mental note to take the gel at the last hydration station before entering the transition area next time! I got off my bike and massaged my left leg as I felt a tinge of discomfort. Both quads were heavy. I walked for a minute or two and got on my bike and felt much better. People passed me by saying “on your left”, “on your left”. Some gave words of encouragement and overall it was very nice group of athletes on bikes. I wanted to yell and tell everyone that I really don’t suck, that I’m really a good runner, and I’m really a strong woman. I really do bike super fast in spin class with high intensity, and I suck riding on this mountain bike as I don’t know how the gears work! I had taken it for two rides but really nothing like the rolling hills of the Woodstock countryside! I tried many combinations of gears but it was useless. So, I stopped the talks in my head. I told myself it’s a beautiful day and for the first time in your life you’re riding on the country road! Enjoy it. I told myself this was my first duathlon and I’m learning a lot.

"Before the race"

Most importantly, I need to go biking on the road and learn how to change gears! Riding on the flat roads short distances is way different than riding on the rolling hills with a mountain bike! At the studio, I had done 10K in 25 min with high intensity. But still that did not help me much here. At the 10K turn around I got of my bike and walked again for a minute had some electrolytes and got riding again. I thanked all the officers at major intersections and they smiled saying you’re welcome.

At this point I knew I was dead last but I kept pushing forward as I wanted to complete the race. Then I remembered when I volunteer at running races in the community, those who arrive towards the end. How important it is to give them louder cheers and encouragement that despite the struggles they faced they are making it through the finish line. I’ve never had that in a running race but this race humbled me and gave me a different perspective.

I got to the transition area and headed out for the 2^nd run. As I got to the water station I had both Gatorade and water. I was so happy when the volunteer said that I turn around here! I said really? That’s great. Thank you. I got back to the water station and said you guys are AWESOME and one of them cheered back saying you are awesome too! I started running faster with those small steps of mine and passed a few people and came through the finish line. I had finished my 2.5K in 14:22. I was happy that it was done and felt great.

First Duathlon Completed in 1:53:31

As I headed back to the transition area to get my recovery drink, I was told I could not go in now till they announce that you can. I made a mental note to keep my recovery drink in the car and not the in the bag in the transition area. I know chocolate milk is really good for you but I gag drinking it! LOL!

I found Darren and Mike and I told them how everybody passed me and how embarrassed I felt at one point. I told Darren I know I can do faster and better than 1 hour and 8 min! I learned that Darren had done really well being on the top 3 overall and first his age group! Read his race report here. He had rocked his race.

"Darren rocked his race!"

I headed back to the transition area and met a woman in my age group that usually gets first place and I believe this time she had come 2^nd. She congratulated me saying to be proud for completing my first duo and she pointed to my bike saying that’s a tough bike, next time get a road bike and you’ll do really well. I appreciated her feedback.

I scanned the printed results to learn about my performance. This was my first duathlon and I needed to know how I had performed at least compared to the last ten people before me. It was obvious most of the racers had a shorter times on the cycling portion but not necessarily faster times for their runs. I had done really well in the running portion and needed to improve my biking portion.

"Top right with Rob and Darren, Bottom Right with a referee and a volunteer"

My friend Darrin was so supportive and encouraging from the beginning when he learned I was going to race at Woodstock. I’m blessed to have him as my friend and was lucky enough to share my first duathlon experience with someone who is genuinely interested in helping others and is a great ambassador for the sport. As I started driving back, enjoying the sunshine and loud music, my thoughts were about crossing the finish line for my 2^nd race in 1:30 hour!

Next year, I’m trying my first triathlon. But I first need to learn to swim!

Thank you MultiSport Canada for making my first experience a great one! Thank you to all of your volunteers for their smiles, cheers and support. You are a great venue and I'm sure I will see you in the near future!

Special thank you to my ninja for being his mamabear's number of supporter!

Special Thank you to my editor who despite being very busy in life, she always manages to be there for me. My daughter.

Thank you coach Shayne Hodgson for all your support and help.

I know now that I should ride with you on the road as well!

~ Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines. ~

Brian Tracy

@nomadicrunner45

It's Not All In The Butt!

2015-05-09T23:03:00.001-04:00

He put his gloves on and examined my feet while carefully assessing the two prominent bony areas on my big toes. He raised his head, asking how my toes were. I could tell he knew. He knew of my pain which nobody had validated to that point, had an answer for, or had given any importance whatsoever! I told him how a few years ago the right toe started hurting, but since I started running both toes are now painful. I told him how finding the right shoe has been very difficult and the only shoe that fits my small, chubby, and pained feet are Skechers GoRuns as they allow room for my toes.

Inflamed and painful big toes!

For those of you who are new to my blog, I ran my first marathon last October. I started training again in November and set goals for myself for 2015. I registered for the Toledo marathon in April and my first Ultra marathon (50K at Sulphur Springs) in May. I planned for a few 5K, 10K, ½ marathon races here and there as well. But things did not go as planned.

Winter Training!

On March 1^st, during our long run, I told my running buddy John (Running Room) that my left hip had been acting up for the past few runs and that I would monitor it to see at what KM the pain would kick in. It was around 10K that I felt a tinge of discomfort but it was nothing serious. John and I separated as we were heading home in opposite directions. At one of the intersections the light turned green but my knee seized up and I could not believe what was happening. All I could think was that I needed to get my run done. I thought I needed to slow down and just get the KM in. I got myself home through a combination of walking, jogging, and running. I was frustrated but thought it was only a bad run and it will go away with a few days of rest.

“It is during our darkest moments

that we must focus to see the light.” A. Onasiss

On March 8^th I went for a test run to see how things were. It was a beautiful sunny day and my heart was so happy to be able to get out and enjoy the day. But as I progressed to 2K I started feeling the pain in my knee. I was devastated to learn something was seriously wrong as I was not able to run. There was a big sharp pain around my knee as if someone was drilling a nail into my leg. I walked home with a heavy heart and lots of questions.

"Me and My Shadow"

I always read a lot to learn more about the sport and to help myself in becoming a better athlete. When I got home I did some research and all my symptoms were pointing to an ITB injury. Read here to learn more: Iliotibial Band Syndrom (ITBS).

I made an appointment with Fowler Kenndy Sport Medicine Clinic and at the initial assessment I was told that weak glutes were the culprit and yes, I had an ITB injury.

I started physiotherapy and was given strict instructions to refrain from running and spinning. Yoga was ok. My allowable exercises were 10 min on the elliptical, some leg presses, and bridges to strengthen my glutes. The marathon was scratched off my calendar and the ultra marathon had a big question mark in front of it!

This went on for 2 months and the progress was very slow. Two weeks ago my physiotherapist recommended seeing a podiatrist in the clinic to get some orthotics to help with my knee buckling issues.

The podiatrist waited till I finished telling him about my painful toes. Then he picked up my old running shoes and showed me that all the wear and tear was on the outside. He explained how the rigidity in my big toes not being able to flex backwards had contributed to my injury. He also said that as long as I run long distances the bones in my feet will continue to become bigger and at some point I may need reduction surgery. But having proper shoes and orthotics will help to reduce injury and improve running.

WHY YOUR BIG TOES MIGHT BE THE CAUSE OF YOUR RUNNING INJURIES! I came across this great article today. Most articles point out that weak glutes are one of the main causes of ITB injury and nobody talks about runners toes!

IT IS NOT ALL IN THE BUTT!

Source: Runners Connect

He acknowledged how hard it is to find well fitted running shoes for a person like me. Then he instructed me to purchase either Saucony Echelon 4 or Brooks Dyad 8. My girl friend Angie at the Running Room always worked so hard to find me a nice pair of running shoes but we gave up! I always felt so bad when I tried on many shoes only to end up having none of them fit properly! Today, I told her my doctor wants me to buy these shoes do you have them? She had the Saucony. I tried them on and was shocked! The SHOES FIT with no pain or pressure on my bones. I asked her did you have this last time. She said: “No. They got them only a few weeks ago.” We both smiled, high fived and hugged each other. SUCCESS. Of course, I need to learn to run with orthotics and my new bulkier shoes. My Sketchers are still my favourites as they are super light. But if I want to run I need to learn to run with orthotics and bulkier shoes!

My favorite light Skechers.

My new Saucony Echelon 4 Wide.

Much heavier than my old shoes.

I am going to see my podiatrist on Monday for a gait analysis and to see how my new shoes and orthotics fit. It seems that after a long time I may have some answers to my problems. I have to mention I saw another podiatrist back in Oct when my toe was injured before my marathon and he did say I needed orthotics but I kind of ignored it! I paid for it greatly.

I learned a great deal about my body and my running form through this injury. I also learned not to purchase short distance race packages for the whole year!

Thank you to The Runner's Academy for their continuous support providing educational materials and practical exercises to help people like me becoming better runners. Follow them on Twitter & Instagram to learn more.

My races for 2015 looks like this now but things might change again!

~~5K: Feb 15, 2015: London Honda Race Series Race #1~~ (Did not race in wind chill of -33)

~~5K: March 14 2015: MEC~~ - (Did not race due to ITB)

~~5K: April 3, 2015 London Honda Race Series – Race #2~~ - (Did not race due to ITB)

~~42.2K: April 26, 2015 Toledo Marathon~~ - (Did not race due to ITB)

~~50K: May 23, 2015: Sulphur Springs~~ - (Won’t run due to just coming back from ITB injury)

10K: May 23, 2015: Sulphur Springs - (I switched my 50K to 10K Trails) -

My goal is to just to complete this race with no time expectation.

~~5K: July 17, 2015 London Honda Race Series – Race #3~~ (I won’t be racing)

50K: July 18, 2015: The North Face Endurance Challenge Series, Blue Mountain - Trails

21.2K: Sept 13, 2015: London Honda Race Series – Race #4 - Springbank Road Races

25K: Oct 17, 2015 Vulture Bait – Trails

42.2K: Oct 18, 205 Big ? Mark! - As I did not run Toledo, I need to run another marathon.

Not registered for this yet!

5k: Oct 31, 2015 London Honda Race Series – Race #5 - Halloween Hunting

You can follow my journey on Twitter and Instagram.

@nomadicrunner45

~ Freedom ~ Focus ~ Moving Forward ~ Determined ~

My First Marathon

2014-11-11T00:42:00.001-05:00

On Friday night, after showing my daughter my big puffed up and swollen toe, I went to bed all choked up and cried. My summer training was difficult with most of my long runs ending up in disaster due to fueling problems. I wanted to have a race without any drama or mishap. I tried to get some sleep as I was supposed to catch the early train to Toronto the next morning.

There was a buzz on Twitter about a documentary titled “Transcend” and the first tweet I came across was from Noel Pain suggesting to someone to watch the movie for inspiration. I watched the trailer and decided I wanted to watch the movie. I was overwhelmed with my emotions, thinking, “How could I possibly run with my injured toe?” and decided to watch the movie that night. But the digital copy I purchased got to my inbox kind of late and I watched a bit of it and decided to leave it for my train ride. The train was smooth and I was able to watch ¾ of it. But I already was left with a lot to think about. On the film’s website was this explanation: “Transcend is the story of the elusive spiritual energy that is somehow forged in the intense rigor of long-distance running.” I tried to remember the spiritual energy. I had experiences of running in the woods feeling light and super fast as if I was floating in space and had the best feeling of calm and satisfaction during some of my runs. I had worked mentally on myself to visualize my race and reminded myself that during times of stress to channel back to those places and times and find the strength to keep moving forward.

I started walking from Union Station to the Sheraton and was still thinking about the movie. I have stayed a few times there before but this morning it was full of buzz and I could see many runners coming in and some heading out to catch shuttle buses to the Expo. I checked in my luggage and headed to the expo as well. I texted my friend Darren saying I’m here and we were trying to find each other. I picked up my bib and headed towards the main stage and met Darren and his partner Rob.

All of a sudden there were lots of hugs, laughs, selfies, and many of my digital champs around us. These people were some of those who have been supporting and inspiring me along my journey. I was so delighted to see them and have a chance to embrace our friendship. I told them I’m going to see a few of the vendors and I’ll be back.

I got to see my running hero, Lanni Marchant at the Asics tent and she graciously accepted to pose with me. I had my running journal with me, on which I had plastered her record breaking picture of the previous year’s marathon. She signed it for me and wrote “make those legs go fast”. I was thrilled!

I visited Michael from Black Toe Running who I befriended back in April before my first 10K race in Toronto. I purchased a singlet which I really like a lot. My phone, which is broken, died again on me and Michael graciously let me charge my phone despite it being super busy. I was so grateful for his help.

I headed to Sketchers next and bought myself a nice pair of running shoes. I purchase running gear around the time of major races to keep the motivation going afterwards. I knew I needed a new pair of running shoes after my marathon. It was great chatting with the sales person and posing with giant Meb’s poster.

I visited Pace and Mind and chatted with Rejean Chiasson who is super cool, kind, and generous. I told him that I’d be using his services in the future and told him about my fueling problems and how through my research I had decided to use eLoad! I told him I already had a lot of bad experiences with fueling so trying something on the day of the race which I have not tried before won’t really hurt me as I have already suffered from many fueling mishaps. We shared some laughter and took a couple of pics which turned out blurry, but regardless I had a great time meeting him.

I headed back to the main stage and met Andrew, Emily, Petja, Cory, Karyn, Bridget, …Jenna from the Canadian Running Series invited me to join in for a group photo with all the digital champs. It was really nice to see everyone and embrace the friendship.

It was getting late and I headed back to my hotel. I did not have much breakfast on the train as when they got to me they had run out of eggs and bacon! The other stuff was loaded with sugar and I just could not bring myself to eat any of it. I had munched on a lot of Pretzels. I headed to the restaurant in the hotel at around 2 pm and when I saw the menu I asked the waitress if the chef could make a pasta dish with chicken and spinach with no creamy sauce and bit of olive oil. She said sure. That’s what I had. It was plain but filling. I also made reservations for that night as my daughter was joining me later on. I had dinner around 7 pm and was not very hungry. My daughter and I shared a salad, pasta, and fruit desert. Late at night I was feeling hungry around 11:30 and I had my favourite peanut butter Cliff Bar.

I did not get any sleep. First of all, I have insomnia. Second, I don’t sleep well in hotels with their big pillows and industrial annoying noises. This room was booked 6 month in advance with a specific request for the quietest room! YEP. No, there is no such a thing as perfect still quietness in a downtown hotel in Toronto! I also had my painful big toe that was throbbing despite taking an Advil. I had told everyone that regardless of what this toe does to me, I am running my race! I was at the point where I was having a conversation my toe. I told it to $%#@ right off as I am running with or without it!

I got up around 5. I may have had some naps here and there throughout the night. When I got out of the bed the first thing I noticed was as I walked to the bathroom there was no pain in my big toe. I was surprised but then I thought it’s taking its sweet time and will be back with vengeance. I had packed my favourite cereal which I take with almond milk. Then, I did my dynamic stretches and still no pain in the toe. I drank a glass of eLoad electrolyte and slowly got ready. My running gear for that day was the same old gear I had worn throughout my summer training months.

Nothing was new except for my eLoad gels. I also took my energybits before leaving.I was going to wear my belt with all four bottles. I kept one as plain water and the other three had one eLoad gel in them. I had 4 eLoad gels, salt tablets to help prevent cramping, Honey Stingers, and eLoad discs. I know you might say that’s too much but bear with me.

I went to bathroom many times, but as soon as I headed to the lobby I had a strong urge to go empty my bladder again. I ended up in the line up of the hotel lobby as I did not carry my hotel key to get back to the room and did not want to wake up my daughter. I had told her to be close to the finish line around 12:30 as my goal was to finish my race under 4 hours. I’m glad I did go to the bathroom one last time.

Walking to the Blue zone, I texted Christa as we were supposed to start together. We had chatted a few times about our goals and fueling and had wished each other good luck for that day. Christa said she was close to the blue zone sign but I could not locate her and I needed to focus. I texted her saying I can’t find her and good luck and that we’ll see each other later.

I moved to the front where I could see the pace bunny holding 3:45. I loved the techno upbeat music that was being played. I started jumping up and down to the rhythm and really enjoying the music while keeping warm. It was pretty cold that morning. I had a sweater to keep me warm but my bare legs were really cold. The sweater of course was tossed away at 3K! Then the line started moving slowly to the front and we started the race.

Going to the race I knew my own shortcomings and obstacles I was facing:

· Low Iron

· Severe fatigue due to fuel inefficiencies around 23K.

· Running to the bathroom not being able to handle gels.

· Toe injury: I was stupid enough to go for a trail run the Saturday before the race and hit my big toe into a rock and had damaged it.

· Calf cramps – Which had happened severely two times around 21 K.

· Hamstring injury that tends to flare up from time to time when I speed up.

· Dizziness at 30K and severe vertigo.

Pain in the Left shoulder after 23K.

Being sensitive to cold temperature.

Not being able to run and fuel at the same with efficiency.

I kept my eyes on our pace bunny. I had made a promise to stick to my fuel plan to reduce and prevent any mishaps. I had told myself I will start fueling early on at 5K but could only take a ¼ of it and throw the rest out as I did not have time to tuck it back into my belt neatly without sticky stuff getting everywhere. I did not stop at any fueling station for water or Gatorade as I had my own supply. The first 10K was pretty fast and I knew I set a PR. Up to that point I was very focused on the bunny and tried not to be troubled by the huge number of people running so closely together. I had never run in a race like that before. It was too crowded and I felt I had no space. At some point there was a couple of aggressive female runners who elbowed me to get ahead. At one point when I tried to maneuver my way away from a slower runner she practically pushed me with one hand and angrily said GO! I also was trying to avoid colliding with a person on a wheelchair and misjudged my step and made another runner almost go down but she balanced herself back up and I started apologizing profusely. She was nice about it and moved on.

The most unforgettable memory of my marathon was seeing the elite runners heading back. We were running on the same road in opposite directions. Seeing them created an amazing feeling in all of us and we started cheering and clapping for them. I will remember that for the rest of my life!

At 12K I wanted to drink water and had to walk slowly as I have not yet developed the skills needed to drink and run without choking and coughing. That’s when the bunny got away. I could see him ahead of me but I was not longer with the front pack.

For a split second I had the feeling of defeat. At that point I realized I had two choices: to run like I always have run my races with intensity and serious focus to fight through or just let it go. Just enjoy the journey regardless of the outcome. I chose the latter. All of a sudden there was a transformation in me. A strange feeling of calm swept through me and I began to relax and take it all in.

I paid attention to the people running alongside me. I paid attention to people cheering us on. I saw a drone above and two teenagers encouraging people to wave their hands and smile and I joined in and I was surprised at my own action. This was all new. They noticed me and held their hands out for a high five and I did with a big smile. I wasn’t running with any specific person or pack. I was on my own but did not feel lonely. A few kilometers ahead I saw the same two teenagers running and saying, “There she is, there she is”…I started laughing when I saw them making their way to high five me again and I did. That was a totally awesome experience.

I kept drinking my diluted gels and taking Honey Stinger chews. I was having a great time without experiencing any issues. I still checked with my toe once in a while but there was nothing there. I believe I had mentally cut my toe off of my body. I believe that day something bigger than myself had taken over my body and mind.

As we approached the fork that split the ½ marathon people from the full marathon for a split second I thought what if I was to run ½? Of course I continued on my path and was grateful for a bit more space and freedom of movement. As I saw my time on the clock I knew I had set my second PR that day for my ½ marathon. But I also knew that I start having problems after 21K. I started paying attention to my body. I took a couple of salt pills. I tried to force down a gel. I drank at every water station and Gatorade. I was willing to do anything to prevent cramps and fatigue. But every stop meant adding minutes to my time, as my biggest weakness is not being skillful and fast to fuel and keep running.

Exactly at 23K I started feeling tension in my left leg running all the way from my glute to my calf. Just like a rigid line. I realized when I eased up on my pace that the pain would subside and as I pushed to keep the 5:30 to 5:40 pace the tension would come back. I decided I didn’t want to risk it. The funny thing is I don’t have a habit of checking my Garmin and calculating pace. I listen to my body to set my pace. What I tell you about numbers is after the fact when I looked at the numbers which confirmed what I knew all along.

I had lost the 3:45 pace bunny a long time ago. I kept seeing 3:55 for a while but I lost that one too. But they did not upset me. I just had accepted the fact that I wouldn’t be under 4 hours but I would finish the race. I saw many people on the side of the road pulling out and holding their calfs or hamstring. I saw a few people asking runners if they needed help. I did not want to be in that position. I decided to slow down and finish the race.

I started to enjoy the experience more fully. I waved at two women who were playing Lady Gaga from their balcony and cheering us. I told them LOVE THE MUSIC! And they cheered a bit louder. I had a gentlemen passing me by saying you’re doing awesome lady! I smiled saying thank you! And he was gone. I spotted Mike Thornton and waved at him with a big smile and he was able to nod at me. I could see a bit of stress on his face and thought to myself he’s such a strong and fast runner and he’s almost home heading back and here I am just starting to head down. How would I look like when I’m coming back? Read his story here. I saw Ravi yelling and waving at him saying almost done.

My mantra is “Almost Home”. People called out my name saying “Looking strong Mahnaz”. I guess mentally I had pushed away all doubts, fears, and obstacles that day and I was coming out as a strong runner. Although my pace may not show it but my face and body was telling other runners and spectators I was enjoying myself and looked strong. Afterwards, some of the runners who had spotted me told me I looked very strong. The spectators were phenomenal. One Iranian volunteer who saw my name started running on the sidewalk yelling in Farsi and English giving me words of encouragement and was so happy see me that was beyond belief. At this point, I was with a group of 4 or 5 male hard core runners who were quietly running side by side but upon seeing that volunteers enthusiasm could not help themselves and break out a loud laughter turning to me saying that must be nice! AND it was. Thank you to those random strangers who were handing out bananas! It hit the spot!

I gave words of encouragement when I saw someone was clearly struggling. Everyone struggles at some point. The only difference is the intensity and the level of the struggle. Any kind of encouragement is welcomed. I kept saying “We’re almost there” “You’ve got this”.

I also remembered the advice from my friend Myron and high fived every kid that was holding their hands out. A few times I even maneuvered through the crowd to get to those kids. I loved their smiles and enthusiasm and I was filled with love and motivation to keep moving forward.

I thanked all the volunteers at the hydration stations. I kept chewing eLoad disks as I feared dehydration and cramps onset based my long runs’ experience.

The last 5k became challenging for me. I felt I could not lift my legs up. According to my podiatrist I shuffled my way through! I have small, quick steps to begin with. I’m not your typical running poster girl with tall, lean legs, perfect running posture smiling through finish line. I have scoliosis which somewhat makes me hunch over a bit around my shoulder. I have to continuously remind myself shoulders back, open up chest, and breathe. Well, at least I try to stick with it for a while. My two big toes have bunions which according to my doctor makes my running less efficient due to loss of flexibility of ligaments around the toes and how everything from the toe to the back of my neck are connected and makes me a shuffler.

I was shuffling the last 5K and the mantra from “Almost home” had become “I am going to finish this”. I had managed to take a gel at 21K and one at 30K. I had finished my water and two of my gel diluted bottles. I had finished my hydration discs. I had finished my chews. I had finished my salts. The last 400m seemed too long. At each turn I expected the run to finish.

As I saw the finish line a smile came on my face. I remembered why I wanted to run a marathon. To challenge myself, to test my own ability and strength, to symbolize my freedom from barriers and those who had tried push me down or pull me back for whatever reason, and to run for those who had become prisoners around the world for expressing their thoughts and beliefs. I was running for all of us. How lucky was I to run freely and be cheered on by random strangers? How lucky was I to be alive and free!

I crossed the finish line with a sense of calm and started walking without getting emotional. I was at peace. I was quiet. On the day of my marathon I acted so unlike me. Who was this person who just ran a marathon and is not jumping up and down with smile and expressive emotions hugging every random person in her path. I was totally a different person on the day of my marathon. When a volunteered offered a bottle of water I looked her in the eye with a quiet voice and said could you please take the cap off? She did and I took the bottle and continued on. I saw a runner sitting in the corner throwing up. I saw people hugging, laughing, crying….I kept walking. I got my medal and told the volunteer I would give him a hug but I was way too sweaty and wet.

I made my way to where you could meet your family members. I texted my daughter to let her know I was there. She came and we embraced and hugged. She had my warm clothes which I put on very quickly and felt how cold I was. I told her all day I did not feel cold. She said it’s been very cold and she has been shivering. I left my running shoes behind for someone to take home. When I asked the volunteers where I could leave my shoes they didn’t know. I just left them at the square! I wore my comfy Sketchers GoWalks. Then I realized how my big toe was hurting! The pain was back with a vengeance. We headed back to the hotel. I hardly could walk. The muscle cramping on the left side and the cold weather were working together to paralyze me. In my foggy, hazy mode I did not take any photos post marathon showcasing me with my medal or posing where all the banners were. As soon as we got back to the hotel, I took a shower, Advil, salt tablets, and energy bits.

I headed downstairs in my sweat pants, head towel, and bathrobe. The guy in the elevator in suit gave me a quick look and looked down at his feet. I made him a bit less apprehensive by saying I just ran a marathon and I think earned the right to go for my massage in my head towel and sweat pants ;-) He chuckled looking at me saying you are absolutely right! The Chinese lady at the Senses Spa gave me the best massage ever! She also gave my legs some pretty good stretches which was much needed.

We headed to Earl’s Restaurant after where I had a huge chicken salad with avocado and was still wearing my medal. There was a huge table in the middle full of Spanish speaking people, two of whom also were wearing their medals. We raised our medals, smiled and nodded knowing what we had just accomplished.

Heading back home, I tried to find my results online but I couldn’t and asked Tweeps if anyone knew what my time was. At the same time that Paul tweeted my results I saw it. It was 4:13:57. I led out a big omg! and put my hands on my face. You see when I crossed the finish line I saw 4:25 something and I wasn’t sure what my time was as my Garmin decided to die only .29 to the finish line.

I was so happy to see my time. I watched the movie Transcend again and this time my perspective was somewhat altered. I was watching it as a marathoner.

~ Facts ~

*On race day I was 47 years old.

*I started running more frequently as of summer of 2013.

* I started training for my first ½ marathon in Sept 2013 and ran a 2:08 in November 2013

*I started running regularly as of Dec 2013.

*I had to stop running for a while due to being severely anemic. (April to the end of May 2014)

*Trained for my 1^st marathon on my own through studying and researching materials and info online. I ran some of my long runs with the Running Room. I ran some shorter runs with London Pacers and MEC.

* I did not have as many as speed training I had hoped for. There were some but not enough.

*I did not have a lot of tempo runs. I was weak, out of breath with severe heart palpitations.

*I managed to run my long runs either on a Friday, Sat, Sunday or Monday. Regardless, I managed to run it. I ran when I felt happy and I knew I could run it.

*I got my first two black toes from running on treadmill when Polar Vortex had hit lows of -33 in February of 2014

* I got black toe on my big toes and the nail growth has been ridiculously slow despite good nutrition.

*I got a new black toe right after my marathon.

*I have lost a toenail!

*I had severe ligament injury around the big toe and after my marathon it became worse and it is only now that it has begun to feel better.

What Do I need to Work on?

· Fueling

· Speed work

To me, my first marathon could have been much better. I could have made Boston qualifying time with proper speed work and fueling. I would like to consider my first marathon as a test drive. I have goals and I am determined to do better.

I work odd hours and as a single mom have some restrictions around what I can do. But I think I need help to figure out how I can achieve my goals despite all the issues facing me. Where there is a will there is a way. I just have to find the way.

What worked?

* Mental Strength and decisiveness

*eLoad – I did not have any adverse reaction to eLoad. FYI – During the entire race I did not have to stop at any bathroom station. That was a huge success.

*Honey Stinger

*Energybits
*Cliff Bar

*My belt
*I did not experience any problems during my marathon run that I usually had experienced during my long runs.

Thank you!

*CanadianRunning Series: For providing me an opportunity to run my first marathon and have one of my greatest life experiences through their venue. Thank you for your support on Twitter and Instagram through comments, retweets, and including my training photos on your blog. Thank you Alan Brooks for your support.

*JasonFitzgerald: I learned a lot from his blogs and emails. He is very generous to share his knowledge and his materials are accessible. I really like his pre and post run stretches and core workouts.

*CoachRejean Chiasson: We had a quick chat on Twitter after I learned one of the digital champs, Christa Davidson was training with him. He is the founder of Pace and Mind and immediately followed me on Twitter and Instagram. A short blog he had before our marathon taught me how to incorporate sports drinks into my diet a few days before the race. I started paying attention to my hydration and diet two weeks prior to my race. But reading this article helped a lot as well.

*Pulse-SpinStudio: Shayne and Monica are one of the nicest and giving couple in the business. I trained at their studio with a break this past summer due to being low in iron. But I’ll be back at their studio again.

*Both MokshaYoga and YogaShack for giving me a nice hot room to practice those much need moves to strengthen my core and back.

*RunningRoom in London Ontario: Thank you to all staff and instructors who supported me. I had some really good times with my running buddies. For my marathon training, I was able to join the running room for some of my long runs and I would not have been able to finish those long runs had it not been for the group help. A special thank you goes out to Barry for encouraging me to hang in there during one of my toughest long runs 32K this past summer. Last but not least a huge thank you goes out to Angie at the running room for being a good listener, supporter, and running friend. Looking forward to more runs with you.

* Thank you London Pacers and MEC for your support and friendship. You are the greatest bunch to run trails with! I consider running trails as a form of cross training which prepared for my marathon. Trail running is also where I find peace and I can meditate.

*Thank you all of my digital champions from Canadian Running Series for inspiring me and keep the motivation going. There are many of you out there, if we chatted on Twitter or Instagram you know this heartfelt thank you is for you.

*Thank you for Running Room, Runners’ Choice, New Balance London, and MEC for all your services. As you can see I shop everywhere and I run with all sorts of groups.

* Thank you to all of those who donated to Amnesty , the charity I had chosen in support of freeing prisoners of conscience around the world.

*Thank you to all of those who follow me on Twitter and Instagram and provided support throughout my journey. Your words of support meant a lot to me.

* A very special thank you to my daughter who planted the seed of running seriously in my heart. When she registered for her first ½ marathon and I waited for her to arrive I visualized myself crossing the finish line. First was a marathon, then the goal became marathon, and now I have registered for my first ultra marathon 50K. Thank you for inspiring your mama bear.

* Last but not least. A very special thank you to my little ninja who acted as my coach and photographer at times and providing words of encouragement saying “I’m proud of you”! He loves math and one way to spend time together was for him to record my times during my speed training. I cherish the moments I shared with my son.

"The medal is displayed in my ninja's room."

*Freedom* Moving Forward*Focus*Determined*

@nomadicrunner45

The Last Long Run of the Summer

2014-09-21T21:22:00.002-04:00

I woke up from my nap and felt a heavy weight on my chest. I reached out for my phone and checked my Twitter timeline. I ended up reading about Emily Gray’s first marathon and reflected some more and then cried. She did finish her marathon even though she had jumped in without giving it much time and consideration. You should definitely read it, if you are thinking of running your first marathon.

I, on the other hand, have known since Dec 2013 that I’d be running my first marathon on October 19, 2014 in Toronto. I’ve been having problems since early April when I found out my iron was too low. I took it easy for a while and reduced my amount of activity. I used to cross train with weekly yoga and spin class. I also love boxing and martial arts and used to do more of them.

I picked up my training again in June. But this time there wasn’t much yoga, spinning, or any other different types of workouts. I had no energy to get anything done. I would get heart palpitations and dizziness as the amount of physical activity increased or I when I picked up the pace during my runs. I started Insanity about a month ago again as the only supplement workout to my running.

Most of my runs have been very slow. I pushed myself for my half marathon on Sept 7^th and finished in less than 2 hours. I also had a great run of 29K a few weeks ago which I completed with a decent pace. Those two are the highlights of my training. The rest have been smeared with multiple issues from not having anything left in the tank, muscle cramps, fuel problems, etc.

I do everything right: carb loading, dynamic stretches, foam rolling, hydrating, etc.

What I can’t figure out is what the cause of my poor performance is.

Is it all iron related?

Today, I was up at 5:00. I had a delicious breakfast of toast and jam with coffee. I foam rolled and did Jason Fitzgerlad’s Standard Warm Ups. And the night before I had done yoga. Then the thunderstorm arrived and we were hit by torrential rain. I waited for the storm to pass by before heading to the Running Room. By the time I got there, they had left. I couldn't find them, so I decided to go for a solo run.

I started strong as I was happy to feel the warm air around me with the sun shining. I chose a new route and I decided to include a 12K trail of Kains Woods with my long run.

Kains Woods - April 2014

When I got to the woods I felt even stronger. I was zipping through the paths and I was smiling looking all around me seeing the river to my right flowing fast and furious as if it was racing with me. I kept looking all around me, seeing nothing but nature and a magical, breathtaking beauty. I inhaled the fresh air; the smell of rain and mud was lovely. I made a mental note that this moment will serve as a new mental visualization for my marathon. When I’m struggling I will be back in this place.

I made a mistake of eating very spicy chicken wings for lunch yesterday. I have had them before and they are not new to my diet. But I’ve never had them before my long run. I should have known better as I’m still tweaking my fueling habits. I don’t like energy gels. Period. I thought I liked them two weeks ago when I did not go rushing to find a bathroom. During my ½ marathon race I found out I hate taking them as they make me gag, are too sweet, and they just feel wrong and full of chemicals! Today was no exception. I had to run and find bathrooms. I did not stop my watch. Before hitting 21K today I had gone two times. From 21 to 27K I literally died. Severe diarrhea came out of nowhere! My long runs are cursed. My long runs are so mingled with dramas that it’s not even funny anymore. I want to write one time and say I had a KICK ASS LONG RUN. I RAN GREAT. AND NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BAD HAPPENED.

Of course, being a pre-menopausal woman of age 47 who has her period twice a month now did not help. Severe cramps and all…I got home, cleaned up, and went to bed.

Now, I read Emily’s first marathon’ story. I did cry and still am upset about not being able to run a decent and happy long run. But I will try to remember what went well today. I will focus that I still have another 26 days and will do my best to stay with the training. I will be positive and focus on crossing the finish line even if it takes the whole 6 hours. I worked too hard to quit at this point. I worked too hard not to believe that I can’t finish. I maybe slow. Way too slow now, but I will shuffle my feet and have every intention to crawl over that finish line.

@nomadicrunner45

My First Official Half Marathon

2014-09-14T20:55:00.000-04:00

1.59:12

47thAnnual Hardick Springbank Half Marathon

Last Sunday, I ran the Springbank half marathon in London, Ontario. The race was special for many reasons:

I had just turned 47 a few weeks ago and ran the 47^th Springbank half for the first time.
Both of my kids accompanied me and waited to greet me at the finish line. Their support meant a lot to me.
My daughter ran the same race in 2013 and got her very first medal for her first half marathon. It was during that race that I was waiting for her, I saw many people crossing the finish line and I imagined that that would be me. In a way my daughter’s interest for serious running made me serious about running too. She inspired me to make my dream a reality.
I registered for my first half marathon and ran it on Nov 1, 2013. But my time of 2:06 did not get registered due to some tech problems and they showed me as a walker with a time of over 3 hours. In a way, the Springbank half was a redemption race. I’d like to call it my first official half marathon. I made it in less than two hours.
For someone who is 47 and picked up running only last year. I have a lot of learning ahead of me. Not only through social media, various group runs, and reading articles, but also through personal experiences during long runs and races.
The organizers of the race, Runner’s Choice, were of course very organized and they had amazing volunteers to cheers us on. As I crossed the finished line, a woman with a warm smile put my medal around my neck and I smiled back saying thank you. They also read each individuals name as they came in. There were lots of refreshments and great support. The technical top they provided was great and it will be one of my favourite tops to wear during my runs. The medal was pretty cool as well and I still haven’t given it to ninja to keep it in his room.
What did I learn from this race? I’m going to be honest to myself and my readers:

I don’t enjoy running in crowded places for several reasons:

Noise:
- Sometimes crowds are loud and the noise bothers me. I don’t listen to music to mute all other noises. But I wish I could figure out how to focus better on my run and not the crowd.
- Is there such a thing as an ADHD Runner? I might be one! When someone is behind me breathing heavily, pounding their feet, or their bib is making too much noise, their music travelling to my ear…I surge to put distance between myself and the distractions around me.
Scented Products:
- I’m very sensitive to perfume and scented products. It becomes difficult to breathe properly and I get migraines. It’s just uncomfortable to smell someone else’s scents during my runs. Again, I try to pull away from them.
Mental Focus:

I definitely need a lot of work to learn how to focus on me and my race and not the elements around me. I was even thinking to start listening to music again to eliminate all other distractions. But as a minimalist, I like to run free. And this brings me to the next question.

"Before the Race"

What didn’t work for me during the race?

Hydration Belt:

I’d love to run free of any gadgets. But being severely low in iron, sweating profusely more than the average person, and lacking the ability to drink water from a cup (I choke on my saliva!), I’d like to carry my own electrolytes (Nuun) and water.
I have tried many hydration belts but have ended up returning them as they all bounce.
This hydration belt was bulky, a bit big and bouncy. It fell two times and I had to pick it up. It was making me uncomfortable and tired. I gave it to a kind volunteer to hold on to it for me and moved on.
But that meant not drinking the way I was used to. I like to take a sip, just a sip but fairly often. Drinking at hydration stations is not for me. I had a hard time drinking from a cup, so I walked till I could drink. That slowed me down.

That belt won't be part of any future races!

Pacing/Garmin:
- I don’t plan every minute of my race, strategizing, keeping track of my time and all that jazz. I just want to run as fast as I’m able to and get the race done. I run with feelings.
- I usually find a person who passes me and it seems to be fast. I keep an eye on them and just run with them. If that person is too fast and they disappear from my view I pick another person. Someone who is bit faster than me and can be my pacer.
- I had a few of those and it worked very well until around 16K when I started feeling little twitches in my calves. I said, “Please let’s not have any cramps”. The twitches got a bit stronger and I slowed down. My pacers were gone.

What worked:
- Mental Strength and Visualization:
  - My mind was a jungle of thoughts buzzing in all directions. I wanted to finish my run in under two hours, I wanted to see my kids at the end of the line proud of their mama bear, I didn’t want to have cramps, my pacers were gone, there is heavy breathing….then I thought of stopping and walking to prevent the cramps but then another voice said you’ve made it this far keep going even if you’re dead tired! I thought of my kids and I did not want to let them down. I started telling myself to shut down all the negative voices. I remembered how one day I had run through the woods feeling light and fast without a sound. That day I felt strong and regal like a gazelle.
    
    My posture was better, I was feeling strong and I saw the finish line. I kept the visualization running through my head and kept pace. I crossed the finish line. I turned around and saw my kids and the first thing they said was YOU DID IT MOM!

"Serentiy"

What happened next was a round of severe dizziness, and everything was going black. I lied down on the cool grass and told my kids to go get Eload, water, and recovery foods like banana and etc. I started drinking and feeling better. The dizziness had subsided but out of nowhere both my calves cramped! Holy crap! I had a golf ball in my calf L I was in agony and a gentleman ran and got me juice, but seeing how bad the cramp was, he went and got the first aid people. One of them asked how often I run and I knew where she was going with this and said “I’m a runner” and I’ve never had this happening. This is not my first run here today! The other one tried to give me an icepack but you had to shake it to become ice! I told them you really need to carry real ice with you guys! Thanks to Brian, the manager of Runner’s Choice who brought some real ice, there was a decline in pain and the contractions eventually subsided.

"After muscle cramp attack had vanished."

As we drove home, I told my kids that I was thankful for having them with them and helping mommy to get her recovery food and drinks after the race. My ninja said, “You do a lot for us and we wanted to be there for you.” I choked up and had to wipe my tears.

This race was a great learning experience about me and our little family. They see me as a great role model and I see them as my motivators. Visualizing their faces with me running in the woods gave me the sub 2 hour half marathon. My daughter said mom you looked strong when you were coming in. That made me really happy.

My daughter behind me taking pictures :)

Visualization is a powerful tool!

I am a free-spirited woman who loves to run. I can see an ultra runner in the making. I visualize myself running in beautiful places and being one with nature.

Where I love to run...

Thank you to the organizers and volunteers for their support and fantastic race experience!

@nomadicrunner45

Training For My First Marathon

2014-08-02T22:14:00.001-04:00

Saturday morning rolled around. I was supposed to leave the house at 8:00 A.M.

Being a professional insomniac and having a low level of iron, I’ve been feeling tired and exhausted all the time. I dragged my body out of bed at 8:00. I was behind my daily routine and to top it off I had not prepared my running gear the night before! Preparing for a long run takes a bit of time. I prepared my drink, got my gel, belt, clothes, put on my shoes and Garmin only to realize my Garmin was not working!!! It wasn't fully charged despite having been plugged in. I got annoyed. Today wasn’t one of those days that I could go for a run without my watch. I was supposed to run 25K and I needed it to be logged in and documented for my marathon training. I plugged it back in and while waiting got some stuff done. It was just before noon that I started to head out.

I love warm summer days. As soon as I stepped out I could feel the warm air wrapping around me like a blanket. There was a nice occasional cool breeze that made the day so beautiful and perfect for a run.

I usually give myself a good 2 to 3 km of warm up run to allow my legs to wake up. The runs usually start with hilly areas so I rarely have a good start. I’m usually able to pick up the pace after the warm up and recently can’t hold that pace for long due to severe low iron. I may hold a pace of 4:15 for 1K and 5:30 for 2K and then it’s gone back to 6:00+. I started feeling good after the warm up and picked up the pace. As I waited at the red light I turned around and another runner was smiling at me saying “I was able to catch up with you now that you stopped!” We both smiled and I said I still have 20K to go and won’t be holding this pace for long! We ended up talking about her previous marathons and where she runs now. She was finishing her run and heading home. She said I love your singlet. “It is sharp”! I told her it’s from Black Toe Running in Toronto. She said yes, I've heard of them. And with that she was gone and wished me a great run.

I choose a different path each time for my long runs. I prefer running on long roads close to edge of the city. I don’t like running in neighbourhoods with lots of twists and turns. I also get bored running in the parks. My daughter was funny the other night saying we have run so many times in that park that I can tell when there’s a new spot covered by goose poop! This wasn't there the day before! haha! Yes. Running just outside the city allows for a more quiet run, listening to the birds, seeing horses along the way and makes it more bearable for me. At 7K I realized I was really hot. I found some shade and drank more water. Even for someone who loves the summer heat, this was a bit much especially when running.

I kept plugging away. There was no wind, it was too hot, and I was too slow dragging my heavy legs. I thought to myself maybe I should turn around and do a long run tomorrow morning. Then I started playing the famous game of “I’ll run to that tree”, “I’ll run to that stop sign”, I’ll run to that traffic light”….and I kept running.

“It’s very hard in the beginning to understand that the whole idea is not to beat the other runners. Eventually you learn that the competition is against the little voice inside you that wants you to quit.” ~ George Sheehan ~

On my hydration belt I had 3 Nuun hydration bottles and one water bottle. I had run out of water. Got a cold water bottle from a gas station and as I walked outside it started raining. I smiled and kept running. I was feeling better with the cold drink, and with the rain my concentration and focus was more clear. Then I ran to two older men who were walking with canes. They smiled at me saying you’re enjoying this, aren't you? I smiled back saying “I love running in the rain.” Then I met an older woman on a wheelchair who was trying to put her raincoat on. I asked her if she needed help. She smiled saying yes, please. I put my water down and helped her to get it on. We wished each other a great day and I kept running.

Up to that point, I was upset and frustrated by my own sluggish and slow run. You see, I started running seriously since July 2013. I was at my peak training this past winter and was doing great. Each time I plugged my Garmin my pace was less than 6:00! I secretly was wishing for a Boston Qualifying time for my first marathon. I was imagining and dreaming a great fast run. I was telling myself I have 7 month to train. But then in April everything changed when I learned I had low iron. With it came fatigue, heart palpitation, dizziness, and slow speed.

Then I started thinking…

I was physically able to run. What if my doctor had said I won’t be able to run for the rest of my life? What if I was on wheelchair? What if I did not have my legs? I was running. My running might be slow. I may never qualify for Boston or I may. Who knows? But that does not matter any longer. A wave of relief washed over me. I had nothing to prove to myself or anyone else. I was doing my best. I was lucky to be able to run. Slow, sluggish, and shuffling my feet. I was running. I am a runner. I had a clarity that was much needed.

It is during my runs that I get my answers. One day, I find my answer while running parallel to a doe galloping in the meadow, another day is through a big beautiful horse’s eyes calling my name to come closer, and today was the older people with their canes and wheelchair. Life is fragments of all these moments put together. I was lucky to put my running shoes on and go for a run.

At 20K, I got to the splash pad and not caring about my time any more, I ran under the running water. A grandmother smiled at me and I asked her if she could take a couple of pictures. She said yes but wasn't confident and kept saying my grandkids know how to do this. I said you’re doing great and showed her how to do it. She took some very nice pictures. The grandkids were intrigued and kept staring. I smiled and thanked them.

Thank you Alan Brookes for your words of support after my tough run.

Wet, tired, and in pain, I kept running. The next 4K wore the slowest I have ever run. But my thoughts were to just make the kilometer! When I got home my Garmin showed 24.30! I turned around and kept running until 25K was reached. When I got home I could barely go upstairs. But I was so proud of my achievement. I had run the distance I was supposed to run.

Today, I ran 29K and felt better. I had less stops but still a very slow pace. I kept reminding myself that the goal is to run a marathon. The speed does not matter at this point. Thank you to the lady who cheered me at 24K saying “You look good! keep going.” It really does make a difference when we’re struggling but someone cheers you on and you find that extra ounce of bravery to push forward and put a smile on your face.

“You only ever grow as a human being if you’re outside your comfort zone.”

~ Percy Cerutty ~

I love all my running Tweeps. My timeline is full of tweets about running, fitness, running fashion, etc…but what I look for is those who with honesty talk about their struggles and triumphs, are humble and proud, are supportive and caring, those who make me smile, and those who accept me for who I am and choose to follow me.

I am lucky to be able to run and have the support of our running community.

Follow my journey at @nomadicrunner45 on Twitter and Instagram.

Why I Run

2014-07-06T18:48:00.001-04:00

Some of you may have read my previous blog posts talking about how I turned my life around in 2008. In 2008, after my ex and I separated, for the first time in my life I realized I had time for me. I was obese and was facing many health issues including high cholesterol and depression. I lost all the weight by walking. I never thought I’d ever be a runner or be running long distances! Sometimes I had a feeling like I wanted to fly. I wanted to run. I wanted to be free. FREE. I wanted to run but I was shy and did not know I could. I started running a few minutes during my long walks. I ran where nobody could see me at first. Gradually, I gathered courage and did not care who watched me. My runs were sporadic but nonetheless, they helped me when I needed an outlet to let go of my anxiety, depression, and panic attacks.

It took me three more years after some events which triggered underlying traumas in my life that I understood the reason behind my depression, the weight gain, the guilt, the blame, the fear, anxiety, and everything else that have affected me negatively. My life has not been an easy one. Those who I have shared a bit here and there tell me I should write a book. I have faced many struggles which I don’t think I’m ready to share in completion with the world yet. Through therapy in 2011 and 2012, I have learned a bit more about myself and learned to accept and love myself for who I am. It has not been an easy journey but I’m taking it one day at a time.

My favourite all time quote of Maya Angelou is the one that says: “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.” My past may have shaped who I am today, but I make a conscience effort every day to live a full life and focus on positives. I make time to play and have fun. I surround myself with those who treat me with kindness, love, and fairness. I make time to support refugees and human rights related causes. I try to be a better person. I try to be more intentional about my daily routine and to respect myself and those around me. I may not be perfect, I may not be able to do it all, but I do what I can to live a meaningful life every day. Running has facilitated for all the positive changes in my life to take place.

My reasons for running have changed over time as well. When I started running I wanted to keep the weight off, and I wanted to be healthy and fit. Gradually, I recognized I was putting my running shoes on to get rid of stress, anger, sadness or depression. During my runs I recognized how the feeling of being in control of my emotions and having the freedom to run was important to my sanity. Running allowed me to think things over and make better decisions.

I love running in all seasons and marveled at being in nature. I love the feeling of wet rain on my face, the sweat dripping down on my back, feeling cold air on my cheeks; and I love the smell of rain and pine trees. Running has allowed me to bring balance into my life. Running has also taught me not only to care for myself but also to care for those who are disadvantaged. I’m a more compassionate person because of it. “I learned to give not because I have much but because I know exactly how it feels to have nothing.” I care about human rights. I may not be your typical full time activist. I may not be your typical politician, or your typical community engager. I care about many issues. I’m very much interested to know what’s happening in the real world. I may not be sitting in one of your meetings or standing with you at your picket lines. I may not be with you at your demonstrations against injustices. But I am very much a supporter and defender of human rights. Social media and online petitions, especially those of Amnesty pertaining to prisoners of conscience, have provided me the opportunity to support those issues I’m passionate about.

I am running my first marathon in October in Toronto. I am dedicating my run to all the prisoners of conscience around the world and have chosen Amnesty International as my charity of choice to fundraise from now till October 19^th, 2014. I am going to cross the finish line for all of those who are not going to see their families, those who miss the birth of their children, those who can’t attend the funeral of a loved one, those who don’t see their kids’ growing up, those who will never recover from their trauma and those who lose their lives behind the bars of injustice. I run for their FREEDOM and to show gratitude for my FREEDOM.

If you would like to support human rights please click here and sponsor me to raise funds for Amnesty International.

A short running history: I have been running on a more regular basis since the summer of 2013. Prior to my first ½ marathon in November 2013, I had done a couple of 5K races just to test my own abilities. I acquired hamstring injuries due to being a rookie and not knowing I should increase mileage gradually and those who were supposedly pros also failed to tell me! Since then, I have educated myself about the sport by reading and following pros via Twitter. I still feel the injury flaring up whenever speed comes to play! This past spring, I was hit by severe low iron deficiency and had to cancel my Ottawa ½ marathon race in May. I just started my marathon training a few weeks ago and am slowly building my strength. My goal is to cross the finish in line in a decent time without any injury or any other health issues.

Follow my journey on Instagram and Twitter @nomadicrunner45 - I don't have Facebook and don't plan in getting one.

Learn more about Amnesty International here.

“The candle burns not for us, but for all those whom we failed to rescue from prison, who were shot on the way to prison, who were tortured, who were kidnapped, who "disappeared". That's what the candle is for.”

~ Peter Benenson ~

Yesterday, I dedicated my 15K long run to the 15 year old who was in prison at the time - Tariq Abukhdeir.

My First Trail Run

2014-04-29T22:46:00.002-04:00

I arrived in the parking lot of Kains Woods almost a half hour early but felt a bit better seeing another gentleman in his car waiting already.

I was excited about my first trail run with the LondonPacers. Having read and learned from others about how trail running can benefit you, I was determined to incorporate running trails into my existing training program.

I closed my eyes, listening to all the birds singing their happy songs. It was a very cool, cloudy and breezy morning. Then runners started to show up. There was a warm welcome and we started off running. The gentlemen who was sitting in his car, Carl, was our awesome pacer! I felt really great and having only run 7K since my Toronto race, I felt happy to see my old self back. I was light, fast, and smooth. I enjoyed running with the pack and the conversations were great. We had mini stops to enjoy the beautiful scenery or watch the eagles nest with their two new chicks!

Our pacer at some point said: “This is the 10K point and I’m heading back”. I decided since I was having a great run and enjoying myself I would continue with that pack for 12K. I really enjoyed running through the woods. The sun was out at this time, the river was full and moving fast. There is something magical about running in the woods among the trees.

I had forgotten my Garmin at home! At first, I wished I had it with me but then knowing I was coming back to my normal running routine today, the pace was not important. I knew I wanted to have a good run and put in at least 12K. I gradually started feeling that the pace was too fast for me and I wasn’t breathing easily. I took my hydration belt and my jacket off around my waist to allow me to breath well. It helped a little. At this point there were only 4 of the original 7. I said are we going to have any breaks soon and the guys replied with this is as much as break you get and kept running. I told them this is a bit fast for me and I’ll wait for Eric and Doris. At this point, I took time to fix my belt and tie my jacket around and just rest. When Eric and Doris came I told them I had trouble keeping up with them and wished Carl was still pacing.

Our little pack had a good pace, not too slow and not too fast. Soon, I realized there were more uphills going back than down hills! I’ve been running seriously since Sept 2013 training mostly in Springbank Park and some long runs with my Running Room buddies on the road. My daughter and I always complain when we start our run as the first 1.5K is hilly! But boy these hills were up and down; up and down; up and more up; and omg! They kicked my butt! I was exhausted with nothing left in the tank! I mean, yes, my iron is low and I had not run regularly but I SUCK in hills! Those hills that I run in Springbank or on the road are not comparable to what I experienced today!

At one point, the other two waited for me to catch up. Eric said this course is a bit tough for a first timer. I agreed with him that I should have gone back with Carl at the 10K point.

As if this was not enough, my right big toe that has given me problems for a long time hit a root hidden under leaves and I went down with my knees and palms down and I bounced back up. I laughed saying well, what’s a first trail run without falling ;-) It did not hurt at the time but now I can feel the big toe is feeling really BIG although it has remained the same size! haha!

We were almost done and I had nothing left in the tank. I walked the last few hundred meters with another runner and told her I sucked big time! But I loved it. I’m coming back to conquer those hills. When we got back to the group I smiled and said this was a great butt-kicking experience and I loved it! We were going to go for a coffee when I realized my car key was missing ;(

Yes. Exhausted, clumsy, low iron, wet, and now no car keys! I made a really good impression with the London Pacers ;-) ! I must have dropped my key when I got my belt off in the woods. My new hydration belt has a nice size pocket for my phone but the separate compartment doesn’t have zippers like my old pouch! I guess next time I should use a safety pin to keep my keys safe.

Read: Kains Woods: A Natural Setting

CAA kept saying please hold and I had no patience as I was getting too cold and hungry! I asked Doris, since they were going for coffee, if they could drop me off to somewhere when I heard another runner say well Doris, I'll take her. He smiled saying, “I’m Peter, her husband. Don’t think I’m just some random guy saying I take her”. It was funny. I told him how my cell phone and my extra car key got stolen from my trunk on my first running training back in Sept! And now losing my 2^nd key on my first day of trail running! We had a good conversation about running and I learned about Goofy and Dopey runs in Disney! We runners are INSANE but trail runners are more INSANE J

He dropped me off at my ex’s. My plan was to get a ride from him to my car dealership to cut a key and go back to my car. No CAA please on Saturday morning. I was expecting to hear a big fat NO from him. But as soon as I started telling him about my key, he went to his bedroom and came back with a key!!! O_0! Evidently, he had made himself an extra key before we had separated! Good thing he’s not a psycho! I was very happy to see that key. He gave me a ride back (surprisingly) to my car and I drove home!

◔◡◔

Thank you to everyone for being super supportive and very kind. Doris for offering to share her GU Energy, Peter for giving me a ride and sharing awesome race stories, Eric for really watching over me, Michael for giving me his sweater, Bill from MEC London for sharing info and giving me wonderful tips, Carl for being a fantastic pacer, and everyone else for your smiles and warm welcome. Thank you.

The passion for trail running has kicked in big time! I have been going for long walks in some of the more familiar woods in the heart of London. But with London Pacers, I’m sure that not only can I step up my game in terms picking up new skills, but I can also learn about trails to take my son on and just appreciate being with nature. I can't wait to go back.

My first pair of trail running shoes were Brooks purchased from MEC London.

Thank you to the young lady who patiently helped me till eventually I found a perfect pair!

Photo Sources: Let me know if it's yours and I will credit you.

@nomadicrunner45

My First 10K Race - TYS10K

2014-04-17T12:45:00.001-04:00

As I was running I kept thinking that today is the last day I am going to be 45, and reflected on my life. At the 5K turnaround point I kept going as the sun was shining and it was a beautiful summer day. I did not even own a watch to know how many kilometers I had put in that morning. I felt calm and not exhausted. When I got home, my daughter said that’s the route she runs and that it’s 10K! That was the longest I had ever run up to that day. It was a huge deal for me.

Running 10K for the first time at age 45!

You may know that I’m new to the sport of running from my previous blogs. I incorporated running into my workout routine a few years ago. I ran whenever I felt like it. I did not run every day and certainly did not run any long distances. I had run only a couple of 5Ks.

I joined a running group on September 18, 2013 to get ready for my first half marathon in Nov 1^st. We can say I’ve been running seriously since mid September. I joined our local running room since December to be with other runners and registered for their full marathon training for the purpose of learning and gaining endurance. I have not run with them since my polar vortex incident.

I started researching and leaning about the sport since September. I have learned a lot about the sport of running via Twitter, reading various blogs, books, and magazines. I am constantly learning from professionals and coaches that are sharing their knowledge for free.

I have a journal for writing down my daily activities in detail. I have a calendar where I write down goals and training plans. I have another notebook scribbled with a lot of info about tips, tricks, speed workouts, cross training, nutrition, supplements, recovery, and running lingo! I’m becoming a more confident runner every day learning through experience and from others.

I have set goals for myself to run a couple of 5K, 10K, and ½ marathons ending the season with a final race of full marathon in October. The infamous SWTM!

When I asked the Canadian Running Series on Twitter why I should register for their Toronto Yonge Street 10K (TYS10K) event they commented that I could review the race from My Next Race.com and one of their digital champions, Christa Davidson, volunteered to fill me in with the info about the race. I liked what I heard and registered for the race. The Canadian Running Series has tapped into the running community, recruiting volunteers to represent them on social media and to spread and promote their venues. These digital champions connect with people from around the world, make new relationships, and share their training and stories. The digital champs keep the daily motivation and inspiration going for others while they themselves are also inspired and motivated as well.

Looking through their website you can’t help but notice how detailed they are and how much information they provide to make everything work smoothly.

I arrived in Toronto on a beautiful sunny afternoon. I checked into my room and headed downstairs to pick up my gear. There were no line ups and I was in and out quickly. Thank you everyone!

It was awesome to see Lanni Marchant's picture on the cover!

I walked about 5K that night and visited Black Toe Running and got myself a nice pair of SUNSKI shades, a singlet, and of course a small foam roller that could fit into my little travelling suitcase! Heading back to London on the train I read an article about Mike and his entrepreneurship. People like Mike are real and are not just trying to make a sale. They establish a supportive and genuine relationship with their clients and that matters. I hope more Torontonians shop there and support the growth of his business.

Mike Anderson from Black Toe Running.

The next day I had my usual breakfast and got a cab to the start line. Originally, I had registered for the yellow corral expecting to finish my 10K under one hour. But knowing how well I had trained I was aiming for sub 50. I got a red sticker and changed corral and was supposed to meet a few friends which did not happen. We started running and the first thing I realized was that there hills! This is not flat! Being new to the racing community I take everything literally. If you say it’s flat, it should be flat. But what seasoned runners are saying is that compared to other races this is as flat as it gets.

Right after 5K I started not feeling well. I wasn’t able to breathe properly and got a bit dizzy. I told myself you need to slow down. I slowed down a few times. I started feeling the same way I had felt during my polar vortex run. I got dizzy. I could not look in any directions except for straight. If I looked in any other direction a severe dizziness would wash over me. I just wanted to finish the race. I kept saying, “Mahnaz, you worked too hard for this to let a bit of dizziness throw you off. Keep your eyes on the runners and don’t stop.” I had memorized the route (thanks to the Canadian Running Series for a very clear and simple map of the route). I knew exactly where I was at what kilometer and my goal was just to cross the finish line. The whole time I was fighting not to fall over, not to stop. For god sake this is only 10 K! Just last week I ran 22K for my long run. As I crossed the finished line I saw 52 min on the clock and just walked very slowly trying not to fall. I got beside a young men and quietly asked if he could hold my hand while I walked as I didn’t want to fall. He was puzzled but did not question me. He walked me to the gate where two volunteers were standing, I asked the older gentleman to hold my hand. He said do you want something to drink, I said yes water but let’s get my medal first :) . I got the medal, smiled and thanked the volunteers for a job well done. He got me to the table where the water was and I grabbed two cups and one more. I told him thank you, I’m good. I felt good after drinking and I thought I must have been dehydrated badly. But after 5 minutes I felt sick again, this time severe nausea and I stood close by a garbage bin hoping not to get sick. I kept drinking and gradually the dizziness vanished. I attributed it to dehydration. A few times when I started to walk or switch direction, my legs were wobbly and would cave in under my body. I attributed it to being dehydrated again and over exhaustion.

I must say the recovery food after the race was great! But the highlight for me was my photo up with the Canadian marathon record holder, Lanni Marchant!

Inspirational

Then I was happy to see Andrew! He was one of the digital champs who has been really supportive and making us laugh throughout the harsh winter months and keeping us motivated. We hugged and walked around to find the others. I just casually mentioned that I got a bit dizzy but did not disclose to him the whole drama! As a matter of fact I did not talk about it to anyone at all as I was embarrassed and also this was a time of celebration. I wanted to hug and just chat with my friends.

Andrew Chak - TYS10K Digital Champion

We saw several other digital champs and it was wonderful to connect with them in person. I am really happy with the Canadian Running Series for bringing the people and communities together. I didn’t get a chance to meet everyone but I’m sure we will meet at some point.

From top corner left:

Laurie Ann March , Jodi Lewchuk , John Paul Hernandez , and Andrew Chak.

Monday morning came around and I reached for coffee and that severe dizziness and overwhelming feeling hit me again. I called my family doctor and got in that afternoon. I told her about the polar vortex symptoms that were similar. I told her I know there was the medication factor, Wind chill of -30 and hypothermia factor, but the wobbly feet, slurred speech, dizziness, everything was replicated on Sunday. She ordered some blood tests and an ECG. The next day she called me and said Mahnaz your iron is extremely low. Apparently the normal level for iron is 80 mmol/L and mine is 18! I need to take iron supplements twice a day for three months.

As a child I was anemic and I had to take iron supplements. Over the years, I did not have any problems. But since I have increased the intensity and duration of my multiple physical activities, the iron reservoir is being depleted very fast. After reading from a few medical sources online I realized how mistakenly I had attributed all my iron deficiency symptoms to a variety of other things. I need to stop blaming everything on being pre-menopausal!

If you are a runner and have had any of these symptoms, do a blood test first to rule out iron deficiency.

A tingling, "pins and needles" sensation in the hands or feet

Lost sense of touch

A wobbly gait and difficulty walking

Clumsiness and stiffness of the arms and legs

Easy fatigue and loss of energy

Unusually rapid heartbeat, particularly with exercise

Shortness of breath and headache, particularly with exercise

Difficulty concentrating

Dizziness

Pale skin

Leg cramps

Insomnia

What did my first 10K race teach me?

*As my train was heading back to London and the sun was setting down, I reflected on my day thinking how special TYS10K had been! I had received my first ever medal from Canadian Running Series. You have to be in my shoes to understand the magnitude of my experience. When I got home, I hugged my ninja and said I have something for you. I pulled the medal out of my bag and put it around his neck. He smiled with his big brown eyes shining and gave me a big hug. The medal is symbolic. He’s going to remember this moment for the rest of his life. He got his mama bear’s first medal and it was very special. He will remember that his mama did not give up despite facing many obstacles in her life.

Perseverance

*I crossed the finish line with time of 52.15.6 and I know I could have done a sub 50 were it not for my mishap! I will be back with more fire and experience under my belt.

Overall Placed: 1858/5684

Female: 464/3129

Age group: 42/259

5K split: 25:08

*I got a definite confirmation that I’m clumsy and can’t drink at the stations properly. I even choke on my own saliva. Hydration belt is a must!

*Regardless of the distance, I will carry my electrolytes (Nuun) with me at all times.

*Goodbye pouch!

*Have my iron level tested regularly and be in top shape for my upcoming races.

*The short video of me at 5K split showed me that I need to tweak my cadence!

* I did post this funny picture on my Instagram before the race letting people know that I look too serious and can’t smile while running. And what do you know? I browse through my race pics and I’m wearing that not flattering, awkward, I’m dying look! I need to work on looking more graceful while having a strong run.

◔◡◔

Maybe I can study Krista Duchene and Lanni Merchant. I have to spend a lot of time in front of the mirror.

Strong women looking fantastic while running!

*TYS10K is an awesome race and everyone should run it at least once if not more.

*The Canadian Running Series people are amazing professionals who do a marvelous job with the venue. They have wonderful group of volunteers who yelled out my name while I was trying not fall over! They gave me strength. And I’m sorry I did not even look at you or wave at you, or smile at you. But know that you cheering me on meant a world to me and from the bottom of my heart I say thank you. Much love to all of you.

Moving Forward

Focus

My next race is Ottawa half marathon! @nomadicrunner45

Complimentary Tickets

2014-03-27T23:50:00.000-04:00

It all started when I received two complimentary tickets to the London Lightning game back in 2012. My son (I call him Ninja) and I went to our first basketball game. We were not what you would call hard core fans. We did not watch or follow basketball at all. But that night was a turning point for both of us. We liked being with the crowd and cheering for the home team – London Lightning! My son was impressed by how high the players could jump and dunk the ball. He had tried basketball through Spectrum with the City of London but had not really shown an interest. That year we attended a few more games and that was it.

March 2012

The change came around October 2013 when Gabe Freeman followed me back on Twitter. I started noticing how involved he was in the community. Through him, I learned more about the whole team and the London Lightning organization as a whole. They had a very strong presence in the community and were constantly working on building relationship within the community and giving back.

I had gotten tickets for the game and when I mentioned on Twitter that we were going to be there, Gabe replied by saying to make sure to bring my son to the concourse to meet the players. We attended the game but took a wrong turn and ended up outside.

November 2013

The next game, still being clueless as to where to meet the players , we went around and back to the stands and waived at Gabe asking if ninja could have his picture taken with him. He graciously said yes.

Gabe Freeman with Ninja

As we headed out, we saw the line up and the players. My son had a great time that night. This was his first time meeting sports’ celebrities and they were all so tall and he was impressed just being there and shaking hands with them. He was in awe! He got lots of autographs on his London Lightning T-shirt and individual photos with the players. The players were super-friendly, smiling, shaking hands or hi-fiving kids and were just genuinely engaged with their fans. As a parent, I was so happy for my son to have such a positive experience in his life. We were bonding in many new ways and he was learning through observation and new experiences.

London Lightning has thousands of loyal fans who have been with the team much longer than my ninja and I have been. I’m sure every fan has contributed and shown their support in countless ways.

I made an effort to find all the players’ Twitter accounts. The London Lightning social media coordinator was very helpful to tweet all those who did have an account. I followed them. Social media is a powerful tool for the athletes to stay connected with fans, to promote themselves and their work, and to grow their network in many ways. The least I could do was to follow them. I noticed that most fans use the major London Lightning account to wish the team good luck which is great for the organization. But I realized what was missing.

A bit of background about my social media and sports: I have blogged previously about my creative marketing approach that brought swimming events to Facebook and had three major groups with members from around the world. One group naturally was dedicated to Usain Bolt since I’m a hard core fan of the Athletics.

I decided to put to work my social media enthusiasm and my creativity to make a contribution to the basketball team. The athletes were not getting much tweets pre- game to get additional support and encouragement from the fans. There were mostly general congratulatory tweets on the main London Lightning account but not much to the individual players. I had learned from my previous experience with the sport of swimming that sending positive messages and wishing them good luck was really important to the psyche of the athletes.

I started tweeting messages of good luck, support, congratulations, and at times motivational quotes using their individual twitter handles. And since there were lots of changes in the roster I needed to stay up to date. After each game, while ninja was getting autographs I would introduce myself, welcome them to London, and ask them if they had a Twitter account and I would make sure to follow them right away.

I was glad to see more fans tweeting to individual players. A comparison of how fans were tweeting in 2013 to 2014 clearly shows a shift of increased individual tweets to the players’ pre and post games. Hell, I even started to watch the game online and tweet about it which I’m sure drove my Tweeps insane!

We started going to more games. My son adores the team and whenever we can, we watch the game in person or through live stream. We will always support the team as they support the people in the community. My son feels proud displaying his London Lightning stuff in his room. He wore his signed London Lightning T-shirt to school to talk about all the signatures he got. He may not play basketball, but he’s learning a lot from the whole culture of going to the game.

Ninja loves math and is fascinated by the players' stats.

He interacts with other fans and high fives them. He discusses the game and expresses himself confidently.

Thank you for giving Ninja a chance to be on the court!

I use examples from the game to teach him real life lessons. For example, when Zane Johnson walked away after getting hit in the face a few times by the Windsor player I told him “Did you see what a gentleman he was? He’s strong and he can certainly hit back, but he chose to walk way. Who do you think is the stronger person? The one who hit or the one who walked away?” We saw Garrett Williamson having a solemn look after the team had lost and a fan wanted to take their picture taken with him. He put his biggest smile on. I never forget that. Thank you for smiling when you were hurting inside. I told my son sometimes we need to show strength and smile even though it’s much easier to be angry. I also remember Maurice Bolden asking us how we were doing. “You guys doing alright?” he said. He showed genuine interest and cared to ask his fans how they were doing. Thank you for being you.

Ninja hanging out with the team on Kids Day.

We love our team and support London Lightning as they have supported the community and continue to do so. We want all the players to know that ninja and I are and always will be their fans. We have met many great fans and have made new friends. My son and I are creating wonderful new memories, we’re bonding, we’re sharing, we’re better together just by coming to the game.

Ninja needs a few more pictures to complete his collection! See you Saturday night!

We Are Lightning.

Next time you're offered a pair of complimentary tickets to any game, grab it!

Update: March 30th, 2014:

Some photos after our BIG WIN last night!

Surprise photo of the night!? Coach Michael Ray Richardson!

Get to know your team here!

Simply Let Go

2014-03-23T11:54:00.001-04:00

As I read “Organizing is often well-planned hoarding", I smiled and clearly remembered myself in my basement in 2008. A lot of major changes took place that year.

Cleaning up the basement was always time consuming and I resented it. Constantly organizing and wanting everything to have a certain order was taking too much of my time. I had worked all day in the basement. Printing labels, organizing bin after bin, box after box, moving them from one end of the basement to the other. I thought to myself, “Both my kids are growing up and I’m accumulating more stuff every year”. 25 years ago, when I arrived in Canada as a refugee, I had only one suitcase. Now, I had a basement that was decorated with stuff and memorabilia taking space from floor to ceiling. I thought I could be doing more meaning full things than being down there shuffling stuff around.

Then, I had a moment of clarity. Why not get rid of stuff? I started questioning myself. Why did I hold on to this stuff? What purpose, if any, did they have in my life? Are they improving my lifestyle in any way? Are they adding value to my life? I realized that it was more of an emotional attachment than anything else.

My clutter, regardless of its organization, was just clutter - sucking energy from me leaving me exhausted emotionally, mentally, and physically.

I became determined to go through the stuff and get rid of anything that I was sure had no use for what so ever. I started with the things that I had less emotional attachment to like my geophysics lab test that I got A⁺ plus on! I was proud of it but come on that was eons ago! What purpose did it have now? I snapped a picture of it and put it in the recycling pile. I did the same for the next two bins. For the other stuff, I started slowly with one box at a time.

Sometimes I had to put some stuff back and re-visit again to make sure I could get rid of it. Usually this happened around my kids’ baby stuff that reminded me of beautiful memories and made me smile.

As time passed by, I became better at letting go. After all, I had learned to let go of a relationship that did not work after 20 years. I certainly could let go of stuff sitting in boxes.

~ There is freedom in letting go. ~

A year later, I also had let go of my physical weight that was dragging me down to unhappy destinations. With my healthy lifestyle, I had been able to reach a size 4 and had piles of clothes that I had no use for and had no intention of getting back into. I had anything from size 8 to 16. I started giving them away to the women’s shelter. Lots of toys, books, clothes, and other stuff went to Goodwill or shelters. The basement was shrinking but there was much work to be done.

~ Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~

One day someone made a comment saying “I like the fact that you are a minimalist”. I knew the person was referring to how I kept my work area organized with absolutely no clutter of any sort. But I made a mental note to look it up when I get home.

I Googled the word “minimalism” and came across JoshuaFields Millburn (JFM) and his novel “As a Decade Fades”. I ended up reading the book, writing a review, and communicating with him which led to receiving a few more autographed books from him.

One of those books was “minimalism – live a meaningfullife”. As I started reading it, I realized that everything I had done or thought about was right here in this book and much more. I was delighted to learn that yes, I am a minimalist and each minimalist is different from the next.

These are some of my favourite quotes from their book:

“Minimalism is a tool to help you achieve freedom.”

“Minimalism looks different for everyone.”

“Minimalism is a tool we use to live a meaningful life.”

“Minimalism is a tool to achieve happiness.”

~ In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. ~

I also learned about myself and how I am more confident in evaluating my relationships. I have learned to let go of toxic, gossipy, shallow-minded, two-faced, negative people who only feel good about themselves by pulling others down. I don’t have time to listen to their bullshit!

My kids are learning through examples as well. We prioritize and assess our needs and wants. Every few months, we donate the stuff that serves us no purpose. I ask my son “Do you need?” or “Do you want?” He is learning that needs are different than wants. He can still get some wants for special occasions but he is learning invaluable lessons in not allowing clutter to fill up his life. We all have our vice. For example, my son loves his comic books and video games. My daughter and I are runners and love yoga. We eat very clean and healthy. We choose what we want to spend money on. We buy things that add value to our lives and have a specific purpose.

~ I don't own many things. But everything I own adds value to my life. ~ (JFM)

I still WANT some stuff in my life. But not stuff sitting on the shelf! Minimalism for everyone is different. I dream of having a small, ocean view cabin in a tropical island. But I really don’t wish for a mansion filled with stuff. I prefer to travel the world than having diamonds, clothes, and stuff! Everyone’s expectations and outlook on life is different. I don’t do fashion, fads, popular things; I don’t have cable. I don’t read advertising. I don’t watch commercials. I don’t let society tell me what to wear and what to eat. I’m not pressured to buy the latest model of things. I’m a much happier person with not having a lot of stuff. I do what makes me feel good and happy.

Today, I reflect on my own journey to minimalism which started in 2008. I evaluate my life more often and assess my relationships, jobs, volunteer work, health, and my personal growth. Assessing and re-assessing is necessary for me to guide myself on a healthy path in my life and to stay healthy emotionally, mentally, and physically.

~ Minimalism is simply about stripping away the unnecessary. ~

Life is too short and my time is too precious to waste it on meaningless talk, destructive relationships, and those whose only goal is to bring others down. I surround myself with kind-hearted people who can lift me up, accept my love and reciprocate with honesty and integrity.

Minimalism is about a meaningful life. Every day, I make an effort to make my life more meaningful.

If you are interested to find out more, check their website and read their books.

I have been following The Minimalist on Twitter. Currently, I’m reading their new book “Everything That Remains” on Kindle. They have started their world tour for their new book and will be in London, Ontario June 30, 2014. Register for free here, share with your friends and family and make sure to come and listen to these guys. You never know where your journey will take you.

Worldwide locations for Everything That Remains Tour 2014. If you are in London Ontario follow @ETRBookLondon to get up to date info about their book tour.

~ Much love to Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nichodermes of The Minimalists. ~

Follow them here @JFM @RyanNicodemus @Theminimalists

~ Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don't see it yourself.~

My Long Runs and Polar Vortex!

2014-03-17T23:08:00.001-04:00

All of a sudden I was maneuvering acrobatic moves and sliding and eventually found my balance and a clear spot to land my foot without falling and kept running. My running buddies behind me said that was a close one! They asked if I was okay, and I said “yep”! And we kept going.

It was a beautiful, sunny, crisp, icy and cold day for our Sunday long run. I was feeling great and loved seeing a lot of people running, smiling, and saying good morning. The run had started pretty well with the four of us and our pace was anywhere between 5 to 5:30. Heading west and then south the wind was behind us which helped a lot that morning (Wind Chill of -23). We were to complete 26K.

January 2014 - London Ontario Canada

Around 12K I started feeling a bit tired and I remembered the same had happened last week and it was short-lived and I was back at it full force. I made a mental note and kept pushing through telling myself just get through the next couple of kilometers and I’ll be fine. I told the other two to go ahead as I planned to run a bit slower. I waited for the fourth person to join me and I told her that I didn’t feel 100%. So, I took easy. She said she also was not feeling it today and her goal was just to finish the run.

At this point we were heading north and the wind just slapping my face and the wet running gear touching me felt extremely cold. At some point the two ahead of us took off, I’m in the middle and I kept glancing back to make sure she’s not too far behind. As we started heading east the wind and cold became nasty and I just kept telling myself that I can get through this, but my body had slowed down so much.

Far away I saw Devin, another team member, who is really fast! He yelled at me, “come on, Mahnaz, you can do it”! I was happy to see him. I told myself, as long as I have him in my view I can keep going. He stopped to fix his laces and I got to him and it was only then when I started talking to him that I realized my face was frozen and I was so slow to talk to him. I told him I think maybe I did too much yesterday and that’s why I’m so slow. He started talking to me about not giving up and ….can’t remember what he was saying…

I started running again but it wasn’t running. I was simply dragging one leg in front of the other. I told myself I’m going to get the bathroom (thankfully the city opened them up last week!) and get warmed up. I started stumbling and could not keep moving on a straight line. I was dizzy. I was cold. I started feeling numb in my hands with sharp needle-like pain in my finger nails. Devin caught up with me and said “Are you OK?” I said yes. Just keep going I’m going to the bathroom. This was my first mistake. I did not want to hold him back. I did not want to be an obstacle to his run. But I should have told him I need help.

As I’m going to the bathroom I see the fourth person from our team and told her that I ‘m going to the bathroom, so she knew where I was. She said “Do you need help?” Again, I said no, I’m good. I thought I can do this. I go to the bathroom and hardly can do anything with my frozen hands and dizzy head. I sat on the floor, closed my eyes and slowly took off my gloves (double gloves! since my near frost bite incident a few weeks ago). I don’t know how long I stayed there. But I headed out determined to get the run done and get over this extreme cold.

As soon as I stepped out, the cold wind swept through me and I realized how weak I was and I couldn’t handle it. But I kept running thinking I should always have my house key in my pocket. I could have gone home now. Then I would tell myself don’t be so weak, snap out it. Be strong and just keep going. But I could not run - I was dragging myself. I decided to exit the park and head to the street thinking I can get to my ex’s place and ask him for a ride to the Running Room where I have left my wallet, and cell phone in a secure place! I started walking towards his place but my body was shutting down very quickly. I felt scared, stressed out, and hopeless that I’m not going to make it to his place. I only managed to complete 18.5K.

I see a police car and I wave at him; he stops for me and rolls his window down. I try to tell him I need help but my words are not complete and my mouth is opening and closing just like someone who has a speech impediment. He looks at me and says “Excuse me what did you say”. And I try my hardest again to tell him that I’m a runner and I’m freezing and need help. I manage to tell him I need to get back to the Running Room. He says he’s on call and starts talking on his radio. I ask him to call a cab for me. He does and then asks me “Are you OK?” Stupid me I say yes, Instead of saying NO. Take me with you somewhere warm now. He leaves and I drag my body again across street and wait for the cab. It seemed like a very long time before the cabby showed up. Every car that passes by gives me a look. They see tears running down my face, with my hands tucked under my arm, and obviously distressed to the max but they just keep driving. I never knew how lonely and isolated someone could feel right in the heart of the city.

The taxi shows up and I wave to him yelling and crying with my slurry speech saying “Yooooour Lattttttttte” and I repeat myself crying saying you’re late. I sit in the back seat and cry just like a child into my hands and the poor driver is freaking out saying so sorry…so sorry…OK…I wait….I only take a breath to say head downtown towards Richmond as I don’t see myself capable of talking. I cry and he gives me tissue. He puts his heater on high. And I just want to cry and I’m shivering. I try to stop crying and compose myself but each little conversation with him ends up with me crying.

Finally we get to the Running Room. As I go in to get my stuff, Devin says “Mahnaz, you made it” and I say “No. Not really. I cabbed again”. Eric comes to help me with my bag and he walks me to the cab, I pay him and go back in. Eric is one of the Running Room instructors. He asks me to sit and grabs me a cup of water and a Cliff Bar which I have to say was very delicious. He starts warming up my hands one by one. John Paul, the manager who runs with our group just gets in and starts rubbing my shoulder. Karen our group leader gets in and says I know it was way too cold and hugs me. Some other runners come in and they all express their feelings about the run and how cold it was.What nobody knows is what I have been through just now. Well, I’m always cold but today was different. My body shivers intermittently, and I don’t see a point staying in my wet clothes and I don’t see myself fit to go to my usual yoga class. Karen gives me her dry mittens which helps a lot. I thank them and leave. I was grateful for their love and support..

I start my car, teeth start chattering. I have never had that experience before. My only thoughts were to get home as soon as possible. I got home, removed the cold, wet clothes. Fixed myself my fav breakfast (oat meal with raisin and walnuts) and tea, and crawled into my bed with my hot water bottle. I cried a good cry and decided that I hate running in sub zero temperatures and I won’t be doing any Sunday long runs as long as the temperature is like this.

Then, of course being really frustrated with the long, bitter cold winter I tweeted about my experience:

Immediately I had replies of support and encouragement from #TYS10K, my digital running buddies which were very comforting.

I also noticed on my timeline tweets like "Running is tough guys...." showing Mo Farah falling! or "Mo Farah collapses after finishing second in New York half-marathon".

I noticed a lot of elite runners expressing how bitter cold the day has been. It made me feel a bit better about my experience as I was judging myself for being too weak. Then I tweeted this:

I always need to reflect on my day and analyze what has happened. I started searching hypothermia online and if some people are more susceptible to it than others. I've been in Canada for 25 years and I have adapted to the Canadian winter. My body has not adapted for the combination of Polar Vortex and long runs.

January 22, 2014 ; -23 degree ; 6K run

What I have learned from this experience that can help someone else too:

*Have Your IBC: Id, bus ticket (cash/passes/...), Cell: I have my phone, id, & a bus ticket with me when I’m running by myself. From now on, I will do the same during group runs as I may wander off confused by myself and needing to get home asap!

*Ask for Help: I had several opportunities to ask for help but did not. I have been on my own so long that asking for help is not second nature to me. I always think of others before me. But I need to learn to ask for help when I’m in trouble right away. I should not be embarrassed by my own vulnerability.

*Be Honest and share your temporary defeats and triumphs: I have been running since 2008 casually, but started running seriously since July 2013. I have been educating myself and learning more about the sport through research, books, and following runners, coaches and exports on Twitter. This is my first Canadian winter running and the Polar Vortex has not helped a rookie like me. I’ve learned about proper winter gear (but I’m always cold regardless!), proper hydration, proper diet for runners, and done my best to stay strong and encouraged to get through the difficult training. If you are new to the sport of running, don’t hesitate to ask questions and share your moments of defeat and triumph online with others as you not only teach others about your experience but also receive lots of support that you need to carry you further.

*Don’t Do Drugs and Run: Well, certain drugs in extreme cold weather! Google can provide you lots of info about hypothermia. Reading about it from WebMD, I came across something and that immediately shed light on why my day had swirled into the chaos that it did. That morning I had taken one 400mg Ibuprofen for some aches and pains. And guess what? Ibuprofen can increase risk of hypothermia. I had done everything right and the same as every week before, but today I had taken a pill. I certainly won’t be repeating the same mistake twice.

*Know Your Body and accept that you are different: YIN/YANG – I’m strong and weak. I know my body can handle minus 30s for short runs up to 7K. I have learned my body does do well for long runs of minus 30s. I love the beauty in nature and the stillness of everything amidst the quiet, cold winter days. But I absolutely cannot stand long winter months. What gets me through it is my imagination and love of palm trees and warm tropical temperatures. But every day I put that gear on knowing my weaknesses and strengths and keep moving forward.

If you are a single runner, adventurer, 40 plus, living in a tropical island and looking for a partner look me up! NOT KIDDING! @nomadicrunner45

All the wintery pictures are taken by me during my runs in January and February 2014.

Momentary Defeat - A Frosty Long Run

2014-03-02T17:39:00.000-05:00

I ran to the gas station with my hands crossed in front of my chest and fingers tucked in under my armpits. I was in tears and asked the clerk if I could stay there for a while….

Every Saturday night I have my ritual. I make sure my running gear is prepared for the next morning. I also make sure I have my yoga mat and yoga clothes for after the run.

Sunday morning came around and there was a fresh layer of snow on the ground. I was feeling good physically and was looking forward to my run. When I got to the running room, I found Paul and said I’m staying with you buddy as we need to get this 21K done quickly. He’s been pacing us very well for the past few weeks and I tend to stay with whoever is leading at the front. I get my energy from them and motivation to go at a faster pace. It was past 8:30 all other groups had left but our group was still inside. Bridget, Paul and I were super excited to get going and were discussing how cold it was as we were covering our faces and fidgeting on the spot and looking at our watches. We decided to let the group inside know we’re starting as we each had something to do right after our run. Of course mine was running to Yoga!

Paul, one of my running buddies.

We started at a good pace and were feeling very good. I right away became aware of various textures of snow and slush being my least favourite as they get into my shoes and socks and remembered how I felt a few weeks ago after our long run. My toes did not come back to life until half way through hot yoga! Then I started feeling cold in my fingers. I always wear double gloves. But for some reason they were not helping me this morning. Bridget started telling Paul that she has frost bite kicked in and she has to get over it. Usually she feels fine 15 minutes into the run and it goes away. I was listening and thinking I really don’t like how cold my fingers are and thinking we haven’t even started yet. I kept thinking my hands are going to warm up and I’ll be fine. I told Bridget that I felt I was carrying a heavy block of ice cubes on each finger and how a deep sharp shooting pain under my nail bed was uncomfortable and my hands were heavy. She said keep them moving and let the blood circulate. My legs were fine, my breathing was fine but the pain was becoming unbearable. I could not believe how in such a short time everything was changing. I was expecting my toes would get freezing cold as they always do but not all my fingers! As we approached the intersection I turned to Bridget and said I can’t run I have to go back. She said go warm up before heading back. (I only had completed 3.97 or 21K). I ran to the gas station and I had no control over my voice. I was almost in tears asking the clerk if I could stay there and warm up. She nodded. I found a corner and tried to keep my fingers tucked under my arm pit. I felt like crying but there were no tears but rather the sound of anguish like my fingers being chopped off. It took me a good 10 to 15 minutes to get my composure back and ask her to call a cab for me. I was exhausted, burnt out, run down, and felt like I was defeated. I told the cab driver to go back to the running room for me to pick up my stuff and then went to my car. It was not until we got back to the running room that I felt so upset about not being able to run because of my cold fingers. I picked up my stuff and told one of the staff briefly what had happened and walked out quickly as I felt I was going to cry. I felt stupid. I felt angry. How could such a little thing prevent me from my long run.

As I sat in my car getting ready to go home, I checked the schedule for hot yoga. I was delighted to see a class was scheduled in ½ hour. I got to yoga told my instructor I've had a rough morning. She gave me a nice warm hug. I made myself a cup of tea and was still thinking what happened. I have run in colder temperatures with the same two pairs of gloves. Yes, my fingers have gotten cold and I have complained but then they had warmed up. Why was today different?

“I have been a seeker and I still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teaching of my soul.” ~ Rumi

After yoga which was what I needed, I got home and felt so weak and exhausted. The sun was shining through my kitchen window. I fixed myself some tea and hazelnut chocolate and almonds. I tuned in to my fave meditation music and started writing about my experience.

Reflecting on my experience my thoughts are going back to this morning when I tweeted “A fresh layer of snow! Today is going to be more of a mental training than anything else.” I was referring to the long convoluted distance with many turns. I was thinking I need to stay strong and mentally get through it. I wasn't thinking my legs are tired or I’m not feeling well. I certainly was not thinking I am going to have frost bite. It’s been a long, harsh and treacherous winter. I have dealt with all kinds of weather but today was not one of my good days. As I’m finishing this, environment Canada has issued Wind Chill advisory of -30s ;(

For now, I shall drink more tea and listen to more calm meditative music. Knowing I can put my running shoes back on again tomorrow. Or the day after the wind chill advisory has been lifted.

You can follow me at @nomadicrunner45

Runners with a Purpose

2013-12-01T18:56:00.000-05:00

My Saturday had started pretty early with two volunteering jobs, then taking my son to the basketball game. After I dropped him off at his dad’s for the weekend late that night, I was thinking of my long run for the next day. I got home and did not prepare my running gear and headed straight upstairs to bed. I checked my Twitter to see what was up and ended up following Fukuoka Marathon and was so exhausted that I did not set the alarm. I was thinking of staying in bed in the morning.

Sunday morning rolled around too fast and I was up at 6:30. I debated only for a few minutes to stay under the warm covers or to get ready to head out. As I’m recovering from a hamstring injury, I have been taking it easy for the past month doing more yoga, strength training, and short runs. Today’s long run was important to check my body and see how I’m coming along. Since I was not prepared, I was running around trying to find my stuff and of course ended up leaving my Garmin watch behind! (Tip: always prepare the night before).

Although I have been running for a few years on my own, I do realize how greatly I can benefit from running with a group. I learned that from my last experience when I was preparing for my first half marathon. I drove to the Running Room. I introduced myself to the trainers, letting them know it was my first time joining them and that I was recovering from an injury. I chose to run the shortest distance of 11K for my long run. I only started feeling some discomfort on my left glutes after 9K. But overall, a great 1^st long run after a month.

Our group was pretty awesome. We had Dan and Marisa the father –daughter team, Stephan the “Iron Man” , Devin, Angie, … and me. The group was open, warm, and welcoming. We all chatted and at the end of our run headed to Williams for coffee. It was nice to sit around the table and learn more about each other. I was glad I had decided to go for my long run and I was fortunate to have come across this group of people; each a beautiful human being and willing to share a piece of themselves.

Running it is not just about numbers, paces, splits, and kilometers or the numerous health benefits from it. It is true that we motivate each other, we learn about the sport of running through sharing information, we pick up new techniques, but something else happens that is not really evident to the outside world.

At a deeper level, we start having meaningful growth and with it comes the wisdom of how we are all interconnected and how our actions or non actions can have an effect on all of us. Through my new friendships today, I realized that when we are honest about our feelings and intentions and share openly without censoring ourselves, others reciprocate, and the relationships become more meaningful.

I learned about a young boy named Adrian who started his battle with cancer at age 10 and lost his fight at age 21. He was a son to Dan and a brother to Marisa. They are a father-daughter team that runs every charity race to raise funds for cancer research. I hugged them and wanted to bawl my eyes out but I restrained myself only to cry several times at home thinking that I have a 9 year old and what if that was me? But you could see how these two people were full of life and had nothing else to offer but warmth, kindness, and openness.

Through her voice filled with trust and appreciation for her husband’s love and support, Angie shared how she can’t have kids and that she is grateful for the support of her partner. We hugged a bit longer to tell each other we are safe sharing our stories and it’s not just about running.

At one point, our instructor Karen, who has a very warm and welcoming personality, started running alongside me and we chatted about a lot of things. I learned that she’s been running for a long time and recently had run a half marathon and a full marathon. She shared how she is going through a difficult divorce and the she has used the services of the London Abused Women Centre when she needed their help and they were there for her. I reassured her that she will get through these turbulent times and if she needs support that I’d be there for her. At this point, Dan, who was running a bit ahead of us turned around with a big smile and said “Me too”. We actually stopped for a short group hug. I admire people like Karen who have experienced setbacks and obstacles but are able to keep their head high and look forward to the future, wearing a big smile and giving warmth and love to those around them.

Running in a group provides ground for healing through sharing and support. We are runners with a purpose. Whether it’s overcoming grief, fighting depression, fighting cancer, fighting disappointments, or setbacks. We run not only to stay healthy mentally and physically but also try to defeat something that has tried to cast a shadow on our lives.

I still cherish running by myself. In my last blog, I talked about how running has helped me with my depression. Mother Earth is my sanctuary and running allows me freedom to explore my soul and nature at the same time. I hear my own internal voice and I hear nature talking back to me.

Regardless of whether I’m running with a group or by myself, when someone passes me by I wonder if he or she is a runner with a specific purpose.

My Sanctuary

Just Another Long Run

2013-11-14T21:50:00.000-05:00

It was a cool September morning. While holding the camera, anxiously waiting for my daughter to appear, I cheered for runners of various ages as they crossed the finish line. I started thinking about running a half marathon. Why not? I could be one of these people coming through finish line.

I took many pictures of my smiling daughter and I was proud of her for training on her own and accomplishing her goal.

My daughter and I have been running for a few years as a regular part of our work outs and have been motivating each other. We also had done a couple of 5K races. But none of us really thought of running hard core races like half marathons or marathons. This past spring, my daughter asked for “The Competitive Runner’s Handbook” by Bob Glover and Shelly-lynn Florence Glover, started training for her first half marathon, and successfully completed the race.

When she heard that the London Lady’s Half Marathon was being held in November in London, she registered herself as a runner and I told her to register me as a walker. I am a very fast walker and have done very long distances. After being a spectator of a very exciting ½ marathon race, I no longer wanted to walk but to run. I sent an email to the organizers of the race and requested the change. The reply came that my race was changed from walk to run.

I was extremely excited. I copied my daughter’s previous training with some adjustment as I only had 7 weeks left to the race. I also emailed the organizers letting them know I was interested in their free training program. We had speed training on Wednesdays and long runs on Sundays. In between, I continued my own training which included yoga, circuit training, and shorter runs. September 18^th was my first time with the group and I really enjoyed it. It was great to be part of a team and receive feedback. The group was composed of people of various ages and abilities. Some were pro marathon runners, some pro half marathoners, and some were like me - this being their first half marathon. Then came the Sunday long run and I was extremely nervous. I ran my very first long run of 10K the day before my birthday this past August. Then another day I had ran 12K. I started running with the group and there were a couple of experienced runners that I just stayed with throughout the run. Sometimes I ran shoulder to shoulder with them and sometimes I just kept the pace right behind them. We chatted and had a great time finishing the long run. Surprisingly I did really well for my first very long run of 18.4K. My team was very supportive and gave me a lot of positive feedback that I had done very well and had easily kept up. I really enjoyed being with our group.

After that run I had greater confidence in myself. My goal originally was to be able to cross the finish line. After my long run I realized I could complete the race and actually do it with a decent time of not more than 2.5 hours. But then when I had another long run a few weeks later and ran 21.1 Km with time of 2:11.00 I aimed for finishing the ½ marathon in just less than 2 hours. I was told I was very ambitious with my time as a first time runner.

But then in October 9^th, I started feeling something sharp under my left toe. I took my sock off to examine my toe as it felt like I had a sharp thorn stuck in my toe but there was nothing. Then I checked the carpet. I went for my speed training but did not do very well and I attributed it to being tired and not being a night runner. I did not complete the training as I was feeling a sharp pain travelling from my left glute to hamstring down to my toe. I rested that night and did not work out for the next 7 days. I did research online and found out I had sciatica that is common in runners and started doing specific yoga and using foam rollers. I was fearful that I may not be able to get back where I was. I started running again. In one of my long runs I had to run very slowly as I had severe cramps coming and going. Then my goal changed again. I wanted only to finish the race.

The speed training and the long runs had helped me to improve my time and become a better runner. The last long run before the race I felt great. It was a beautiful sunny chilly fall morning. We were all feeling happy and had a good run.

The team headed out for a huge breakfast to celebrate our accomplishments. The atmosphere was filled with optimism, laughter, appreciation and we all got a #1Cup full of jelly beans.

The day of the race I was only thinking positive thoughts and thinking of Lanni Marchant. I had tweeted telling her that I find re-assurances through her experience. She was able to overcome her injury and bounce back, finishing her marathon with record-breaking results. Although my goal was not to break any records, Lanni’s story was a great source of inspiration for me.

But there was also another woman who became my beacon of hope that day. Ruth is an experienced runner with some good ½ marathon races under her belt. Her warm smile and genuine caring attitude is hard to miss. I was running with my daughter and she was running with her daughter. We both had conversations that they would finish before us. I started my race really well and felt good except that I had to stop for the bloody bathroom break. I decided after the 1^st bathroom break that this will be costly and ridiculous. I told myself, “You have to find mental toughness and defeat the urge of wanting to go”. That was that.

I kept running behind Ruth and her daughter. My daughter had pulled away and I could see her bright neon colored top with her long hair. I kept saying you go baby.

Then around 17.5 Km I started feeling small contractions happening in my hamstrings. During the last 3 Km, the pain became steady and was growing in intensity. Ruth became my beacon of hope. I told myself that as long as I have her in front of me, I’d be OK. She was running a steady pace and I just kept up with her. I had a few options: to stop, to walk, or to just keep going. I kept going but fixed my eyes on Ruth. I said, “Just keep up with her. This is just another Sunday long run.” Then just like that, I saw the huge clock showing 2:08 as I was passing it and I crossed the finish line. Our daughters were waiting for us with open arms and smiles. I made my way to Ruth first and gave her a big hug and said thank you. I then turned to my daughter and told her I was proud of her and she said she was proud of me. We took some pictures and there were more hugs and kind words being exchanged.

"Ruth and I with our lovely daughters"

I told my daughter that I was in trouble and needed to put warm clothes on and that I needed some pain killers. She ran to the medics who said they did not have meds and could not give me any. They did not have cold packs or hot packs! Ruth came to my rescue with Ibuprofen. I had my post recovery drink I had made that morning. I had some bananas and told my daughter that if I stop moving that that will be the end of me. We started walking so very slowly towards home. It was only a few kilometers but that was just what I needed. As we were walking, I told my daughter that if it were not for the cramps I would have finished in under 2 hours. Later on when we plugged our watches to analyze our time, this was confirmed. My last 3K was the slowest.

Right after the race - "Smile is pushing through pain"

For me, running this half marathon was very special at many levels:

It is true that I have been running for a sometime. In fact, running for me is a form of therapy. This is not just a cliché. You see, I have been dealing with depression for the longest time. I can’t take any meds as my body is very sensitive and reacts forcibly. I run to get rid of whatever is on my mind. To remove the fog, the stress, the sadness, the anger, the ambiguity, the doubt, the confusion, and whatever else that depression brings with it. When I run, I feel free. I don’t have to answer to anyone. I’m running away from everything metaphorically until I feel I’m ready to go back.

I have been going through some difficult stuff in my personal life for the past few years and running this race was very symbolic for me. For the first time in my life, I faced the enemy (pain) and did not run away from it. I finished the race on my terms. This was my very first big race of any kind. I ran my 21.1K and I got my time of 2:06 as per my Garmin. Nobody can take my time away! Nobody can take away the feeling I had at the end of the race either. It was not happiness or excitement per se but rather a feeling of gratitude, accomplishment, empowerment, strength during vulnerable times, and overall knowledge that I have been a survivor since I can remember. And it’s that ability that allowed me to run my race.

Unfortunately, my time and race were posted wrong that night. I contacted the organizers saying I was right behind my friend and they had seen me running and finishing the race. They have not been able to provide a straight answer and to fix the results. The race results show me as a walker with a time of 3.5 hours. I was told my chip must have been triggered due to close proximity to sensors. It has been very disappointing in terms of posted results and how it was handled.

I literally got an email while I was writing this blog and was told they watched my video and my time will be recorded as 2:07.53. It took 11 days but I'm relieved knowing my time will eventually be posted correctly. I am going to think of November 3, 2013 as another Sunday long run. My time and race was not posted correctly (waiting to see amended published results). There were no medals. There is no picture of me crossing the line. Therefore, I choose not to call it my first official half marathon race. I have learned to pay attention to details of any race I sign up for and to choose wisely.

For me, my personal achievement is the highlight of that day. I know I ran 21.1K and I know I did really well for a middle aged rookie with injured hamstrings. I plan to run other half marathon races. My daughter and I will be running our fist full marathon together next fall as well.

Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon! Here we come....

It is about FREEDOM!

Image Credit: Truerunner.tumblr.com

Human beings are made up of flesh and blood,
and a miracle fiber called courage.

-George Patton

My Canoe Trip to Oneida Settlement

2013-06-24T22:20:00.001-04:00

My friend, Rose, had told me about the upcoming canoe trip and I was so excited to take part in this meaningful and exciting journey. A group of people were to canoe from London to the Oneida Settlement to experience the traditional culture.

For myself, the trip has become memorable in many ways. I value and respect Mother Earth and the beauty that surrounds me every day. The canoe trip offered me a chance to see wild flowers by the river bank, bald eagles flying high above, a deer running through the woods, turtles bathing in the sun, numerous species of birds singing their beautiful songs, the changing landscape, and the gorgeous blue sky that somehow was bluer than usual.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

There were moments of excitement like pointing to a giant snapping turtle or rushing to pick up items from a tipped over canoe. But there were many opportunities to meditate and be at peace and to take it all in. There were times that I felt so peaceful and happy loving the warm sun, the cool breeze, listening to the gentle flow of the river. I felt a great sense of gratitude and appreciation for the new experiences and how fortunate I was to enjoy Mother Earth and all its beauty.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

As we were setting up tents for our first stop at Delaware flats, I could not wait to settle down for the night and just enjoy sitting by the campfire. When the time came, I was content. There were many moments where I was able to meditate and be one with the nature around me. Staring into the fire, wind blowing the smoke over my whole body, the sun setting down, wild flowers shining under the glow of the sun’s rays, the sound of the river gently rushing by, the birds trying to sing one last song at dusk, the stars showing up one by one and all of a sudden having a sparkling blanket above. People talked about many topics, there were serious discussions and many moments of laughter followed by moments of reflection.

Tim Miller of Nova Craft and his wife Theresa who live close by the area joined us that night, treating us with smores. I was glad to have met these people who generously donated all the canoes for the trip and were great hosts, welcoming us to their home and sharing their knowledge and expertise.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

The next day, I woke up early feeling happy, well-rested, and cheerful. I stayed quiet for the longest time listening to the river, the birds, and was intentional of about my experience. I wanted to remember how the air smelled in the morning, and how I was feeling. I loved being in nature and for the first time in my life, I had slept so close to the river that it’s gentle flow was music to my soul. Finally, I could not keep it all in and said out loud “This is beautiful, I LOVE THIS” and the reply came, “Oh shut up”! It was a gorgeous morning to wake up to. Some people had already kept the fire going and brewed fresh coffee. I really loved the experience.

Our second day of canoeing was calmer and there were more meaningful reflections about myself and how I related to the world around me. There were some fun times in between as well. We had a great laugh when Mike had picked up some wild flowers from the river bank and came close to our canoe saying “Hey warrier princess, I got flowers for you”, then they all started calling me Pocahontas. (Photo to come)

When we got to the Oneida Settlement we noticed Oneidas waiting on the bridge for us holding the sixnations flag, waving to us saying welcome to our home. I got teary eyes filled with emotion and gratitude, thinking I was only a spec in this universe and it is through humanity, spiritual connection with the nature, and respecting those who were here before us that we can find peace. When we got off our canoes and stepped to the grounds, the paddlers who were of First Nation background walked towards us and started shaking hands and hugging us with big smiles and nodding heads; implying the success and the value the journey had in it. This also is one of the highlights of the trip for me to remind me that we are all here on this planet together and we have a lot more in common than we know.

Oneida Settlement

We drove to the cookhouse, and as we entered we were greeted by friendly faces and welcomed with open arms. The feast they had prepared for us was great and we all enjoyed sitting around the long tables taking it all in.

That night there was more campfires and good company with an added bonus. We took part in their social event. We went to the longhouse, which was made of beautiful oak wood with the traditional design. I was most impressed by how young people took charge of the ceremony - chanting, singing, and dancing, while the elders sat back and watched over them. They had strong and beautiful voices. Again, here I had mixed feelings of joy and spiritual connection. At times I closed my eyes to only listen to their voices and imagining myself hundreds of years ago on these grounds dancing and chanting with them and going in a circle. I did get a chance to join in and dance with them. I was delighted with the experience. Being welcomed to their circle and to experience this spiritual connection is something that I will keep with me forever.

Longhouse

The next morning, Chief Howard Elija came over to share his wisdom and history of his people. He performed the cleansing ceremony with sage and we became emotional at times and some of us had teary eyes. As human beings, some of the deep connections we make with each other do not require words or acknowledgment. We can feel each other’s pain or joy in our body and soul. When the chief was done I asked him if I could hug him. I found peace in his arms.

When I got home I looked at the many photos that had captured the spirit of our team and the purpose of the trip. One of the pictures stood out. The one with Chief Howard Elijah of Oneida put a smile on my face and at the same time a sadness washed over me that I could not explain. Upon reflection, I started crying realizing after many years of not having my dad, on Father’s day, I had been in the company of someone who not only reminded me of my dad, but in a short period of time I had come to admire and respect as a spiritual and community leader.

Upon further reflection and going back over the sequence of events, I realized the magnitude and impact of my interactions with the chief and his people. The gradual spiritual experience had silently begun with Rose sharing the canoe trip with me and extending an invitation for me to go along with her. I had been really excited not only for the long distance canoeing but also to experience the first nation culture up close and personal. I was humbled and honored to have been invited to their home and to take part in their traditional social event. I was grateful to have experienced the spiritual journey as well as having met fantastic people who paddled with us.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

The beauty of the trees,

the softness of the air,

the fragrance of the grass,

speaks to me.

The summit of the mountain,

the thunder of the sky,

the rhythm of the sea,

speaks to me.

The strength of the fire,

the taste of salmon,

the trail of the sun,

and the life that never goes away,

they speak to me.

And my heart soars."

Chief Dan George

Related Article: Paddlers Learn to Use Their Brains - The London Free Press

Facebook Page: Paddling Back to Traditional Culture - Thank you to Barry Gallow and Tim Miller and everyone else who had a role in planning this trip. Please like their page and show support.

AS A DECADE FADES

2013-04-25T20:16:00.002-04:00

I was randomly searching minimalism one day when I came across Joshua Fields Millburn’s name and his novel, “As a Decade Fades”. He had tweeted a specific line that resonated with me and I didn’t need convincing to go online and order his book. When the book arrived I could not put it down.

As a Decade Fades is an easy read. It is simple, yet complicated. Jody’s story is our story in many ways and it is not in some ways. The reader is hooked not by extravagant use of words and complicated plots, but we are pulled in as we read about real life experiences like our own.

There is a nice balance between humor and tragedy. There are points in our lives where we question ourselves and the paths we’ve have walked. Is it time for a detour?

“He wasn’t sure when it had happened, but one day he woke up halfway between somewhere and nowhere and he was twenty-something and nearing thirty as the decade faded.”

As I read “…Safety inside the prison –freedom from freedom….” , I closed my book listening to Chopin. I went back in time, remembering when I opened my one suitcase on a bed of a settlement, temporary housing for refugees. I felt safe and optimistic about my future, but sad knowing what I had left behind. A single suitcase on a bed was loaded with tragic and triumphant stories. Jody’s story was my story.

Jody’s character keeps reminding himself to focus on the present and leave the past behind. But we truly can never separate ourselves from our pasts. “…how pointless this life might be without a past, and how miserable it was with one.”

Falling While Sitting Down – “The boy did not want to remember much about that Man, so he didn’t.” His childhood was filled with various forms of abuse and trauma. He really did not have supervision or role model of any kind growing up.“…the boy made friends with various elements of certain fringe social blocs….but he never attempted to adapt to their tenets or fully integrate into any one particular group…” I just wanted to reach out inside the book and hold little Jody. Jody grew up like the rest of us with “…a duffle bag filled with painful memories and future regrets.”

I love music, rain, solitude at times, I don’t sleep well most of the times, have had failed relationships, lost people due to natural causes or suicide,….in so many ways Jody is us and we are him. When he is sitting on the rooftop writing his songs and thinking about the rain… that is the most beautiful part for me. “But things hadn’t always been this way, and his life hadn’t always been held together by trepidation and disdain and by the sum of what love wasn’t.” Or when he writes for his mom, “People don’t know how to love the ones they love until they disappear from their lives”. We all have lost people in our lives and in that moment we can relate to Jody and what he is feeling.

Jody’s adult sex life is filled with extremely beautiful young women that are described mostly as Caucasians, with blond hair, with perfect slim bodies and FLAT STOMACHS! This is exactly what a patriarchal society tells us a beautiful woman should look like! There is a brief reference where the author tries to challenge society’s patriarchic view of women by posing this question: “How come guys can have sex with all kinds of women and we’re considered manly or whatever, but if a women has more than one partner, she’s a slut?” But the conversation that follows is of sex humor and more misogynistic comments.

I found the speeding ticket part of the book extremely funny. I got my first ever speeding ticket last year when I was taking my sick child and myself to the doctor’s office and was feeling miserable. The officer said: “Maam, you were going 78 in 50 Km zone!” All I could think was **** I wasn’t even blasting my favourite song or rolling my window down and changing lanes. What a shitty way to get a ticket! As a Decade Fades provides the reader with an experience that is very personal. You’d think that was me! I did that or said that. The whole car ride with the music and jokes was hilarious.

“Sometimes love is sad. Sometimes it drops your heart from a great height and it shatters into a million tiny shards, and those shards are sharp and painful.” And of course the story cannot be without love and heartache. There are many simple but profound lines in the book that deal with love and relationships and who we are.

Jody shows us that we are not perfect. We may have had a rough childhood and many unpleasant experiences growing up and even throughout our adult lives. That is the reality of life. We will face many struggles and triumphs. As a Decade fades says it best: “Perhaps one must sit in the valley to see the beauty of the mountaintop, to appreciate his ascent, to live a purpose-filled life. And perhaps the key is to not live in the valley, but rather, to be aware of why you were there and prepare for the journey ahead.”

I enjoyed reading As a Decade Fades as it reminded me I am only human and I am entitled to make mistakes and to learn from them. It also teaches us about hope and optimism, although I feel like I have to read a follow up story to learn about Jody’s life in Ohio with the “Girl in the White Summer Dress”.

“Lie by me, we can be alone together.

Lie to me, we can believe these lies forever.”

A Moment in Time

2012-10-06T23:48:00.000-04:00

┊　　┊　　┊　　

┊　　┊　　♥
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┊　　┊　　♥
┊　　♥
♥

┊　　┊　　┊　　
┊　　┊　　♥
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there was a certain Stillness in the air

overwhelming gratitude came over her for being there and to make a beautiful memory that was hers and hers alone

her love for recognizing not so obvious beauties around her gave her that extra edge

the beautiful colours of autumn leaves on the ground made her eyes travel to those colours on the wall leading up to the tunnel

she could see the hands of those hard at work trying to tell a story of their own by leaving something behind

The tunnel was mysterious in itself with old stone walls leading to an enchanted forest perhaps

the arched entrance gave her a feeling of going back in time hearing old souls echoing in space

As she was leaving she heard a secret melody...

Photo Credit: Cindi Talbot

How I Turned My Life Around - From Size 16 to 2.

2012-07-14T22:36:00.002-04:00

Fall 2007

I am neither a nutritionist nor a personal trainer. If you want to learn how to count calories or how to measure your pulse, this blog is not for you! And most importantly, Consult with your Doctor first regarding any physical activities.

This blog is not about how to lose weight. Rather, it’s about giving you hope to motivate and to inspire you, knowing I turned my life around only by sheer determination.

August 2008

This is my story...

It was right after a friend’s wedding in August 2009 that I looked at my own picture and became overcome with a feeling of shock. Up to that point, I had not been aware of the drastic changes in my body over the years. I had neglected myself emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Two months prior, I had just ended a 20 year marriage that had left me with more questions than answers about where my life was headed. Here I was, a single mother of two with a decent job and no other means of support in any form or shape. It was me and only me. I wanted to look good and feel good. I wanted to do something for me and only me. This wasn’t about society telling me I had to look a certain way. This wasn’t about impressing anyone. This was about me realizing that my health was in danger. I was someone who took pride in eating healthy and keeping fit but for many reasons I had decided to ignore that part of my life style and let go of it. I had taken nutrition courses while in college and I used to read a lot of articles pertaining to health. And here I was with back pain, shortness of breath, and aching muscles.

I don’t like to weigh myself. I even won’t remember the pounds or kilos to tell you. I don’t own a scale! I do remember being size 14-16. I had no money to join the gym nor did I like the idea of joining a gym. I had no money to go on a special diet or those programs that we are bombarded with every day. So, what did I do?

I knew a crash diet was out of the question. I can’t starve myself as years ago I had done it and just made myself sick. I even don’t like the word diet. This time around I told myself I am going to have a different approach. I will be working towards a healthier life style gradually, slowly, steadily, and with patience. I told myself for decades I have neglected myself, therefore, I think I can afford to be patient for an optimal result in a couple of years. For the most part of my life I was size 10-12. I knew getting from a size 16 to 10 required time. I had to start with simple steps. I was determined to eliminate the unnecessary stuff in my life and replace them with things that brought joy and health.

I started reading a lot online and soon I figured out all those articles are giving the same messages:

*Do not eat 3 big meals a day; rather eat throughout the day up to 5 to 6 times/day

*Eat almost everything you want in small portions

*Eat healthy (Canada's Food Guide)

*Don’t eat after 7 pm

*Drink plenty of water

It sounded simple and the only requirement was my willingness to stick with it, be patient, and wanting to do it for me. I was determined to turn my life around and to be healthy. I had started having back pains, muscle aches, all sorts of problems that are associated with being overweight. I wanted to be healthy and fit.

I started paying attention to my daily routine and questioned them as to be necessary or just bad habits that I had gained gradually without paying attention. I noticed that every morning I stopped by my favourite coffee shop and ordered a large coffee with cream and sugar; and a delicious, buttery fresh muffin. I decided to go for the muffin every other day at first. I did not want to eliminate everything at once. I started reducing the amount of cream and sugar. Next, I replaced the cream with milk and eventually eliminated the sugar. It was gradual and I did not feel deprived or frustrated to say the hell with it, I’m going back to the way it was. I stopped buying a muffin every day. I had a habit of being hungry before coming to work. I made sure I had a healthy breakfast which for years has not changed, raisin bran cereal with 2% milk. I don’t have a fancy breakfast with all calories counting.

Lunch time at work was either left over from the night before or rushing across the street to buy something to eat and I ate everything! I decided to buy a bag of bread which I kept in the fridge at work plus a jar of peanut butter. Why peanut butter? It was affordable, easy for lunch, enjoyed eating it, and it was a regular source of protein for me.

For dinner, I ate anything I wanted to but started reducing my portion.

But something else needed to be done.....I had to keep Moving....

Summer 2009

I have always enjoyed walking. I had actually come across an article in early 2000 that talked about “Walking it off”. In 2002, I started walking and shed lots of pounds. Based on experience and knowing that I enjoyed walking and it had work in the past for me, I added walking to my daily routine.

*I walked 15 min during my am break. A very fast power walk as strolling yourself has no effect!

*I walked 15 min during my pm break.

* I walked a very fast 20 min lunch walk and had 10 min to gobble down my peanut butter sandwich

*Every time I got back to work, I climbed 4 flights of stairs rather than taking the elevators. Learn how to walk!

For a short period of time from Jan 2009 to 2010 I took up Kung Fu and boxing and loved it. I eventually bought a boxing bag to practice on my own in the basement. The bottom line is to find out what you like to do and do it. Not everyone works out in the gym! Not everyone counts their calories morning and night. Be sensible and make it easy for you and the chances are you’ll stick with it. I love boxing and it helps me tremendously to get rid of negative energy and keeps me fit. You can read many benefits of boxing here.

2009 - 2010

But what else did I do? I love dancing. I danced. Every opportunity I had, I’d play music at home and just danced away. The combination of dancing, walking and healthy eating was working faster than I expected. Again, since I don’t weigh myself, I did not realize I was shrinking till I had to use a safety pin to hold my pants up. At that point I was probably a size 8 or 10.

Xmas 2009

Once people started realizing my shrinkage they started asking what I was doing. I told them I’m eating healthy and I’m walking it off! When I finally decided to buy new pairs of pants as all my clothes looked ridiculously too big, I picked up two pairs of pants size 8 and headed to the fitting room. To my surprise they were too big! I double checked the size and couldn’t understand it. The fitting room attendant said “Oh honey, I’ll bring you size 4!” I was like what? I was size four!!! In the fitting room I held my own face looking at my own body and could not believe I had gone beyond what I had intended. It was exhilarating to know I had reached my goal, and I did it without diet, or gym. That has been of one my top accomplishment in my life so far.

Fall 2010

I was very good in track and field throughout school years. I started reading more about my favourite athletes. I was finding my way back doing things I enjoyed, cared about and was passionate about. It was motivating to read about their accomplishments and just get excited to see their accomplishments, breaking records, and reaching their goals. I have been a huge fan of the athletics as long as I can remember.I became more motivated I started adding running gradually to my routine.

2011

I couldn’t run far, but I felt great even for that 5 minutes. I was free. The minutes were getting longer and longer. I ran my first 5K in 30 minutes. I’m planning to do more runs and have set goals for myself.

Summer 2012

I continued steadily to a size 2, but have been sitting at a stable size 4 for 1 year now. I try to fit walking into my daily routine. The longest walk I’ve done has been 18 Km. I can complete 4.2 Km walk in 25 to 30 minutes. I am aiming to do bigger walks and sporting events.

I hope this blog has been able to give you hope and understanding that we are able to stay healthy and fit by doing little steps. Those little steps eventually lead you to where you want to be.

If you have loads of money to throw a personal trainer and a dietician, go for it. If you don’t have the financial means, know that you can do it with persistence and stamina. Find out what activity you enjoy and do it. The only advice I can give you is to keep moving, eat healthy, don’t deprive yourself and most importantly do things that make you happy.

...start moving

This article was posted on Facebook today: The Ultimate Guide to Fat Loss!

Beauties in the World

2012-07-02T20:48:00.000-04:00

I read the email invitation from the fundraising committee for Friday night, April 27, 2012. I scanned the email very quickly and these words stood out: “Wine”, “Art”, “Craft” and “fun”. I told myself, “This is going to be fun. I’ll get to know new people and have fun.” On the night of the “Wind and Art” party, I had a hard time deciding what to wear! After all, it was a Wine and Art Party! I was excited. When I got there, Angie, the lady of the house greeted me with open arms. I saw some of the guests in the kitchen and soon was informed that everybody was in the basement and has already started working. As I headed downstairs I realized this was not a fancy art and wine show with women walking in their expensive gowns holding their wine glasses and critiquing art!! I saw a very organized basement full of arts and crafts stuff. I saw a table with people busy at work. We got to work. Some already were painting chimineas. We were all assigned different tasks.

As the evening progressed, I was thinking quietly about these people sitting around the table on a Friday night and volunteering their time for a great cause. They were part of the fundraising committee who have been actively meeting regularly every week and for months had put their skills, abilities and connections to work to solicit donations in the community towards “WINE, DINE, & SHOWTIME” which is Sexual Assault Centre London’s yearly fundraising event. They had volunteered their time walking door to door, asking for donations. And here they were painting, cutting, knotting, and labelling. They could be anywhere to have fun but they chose to be there to complete the task and they were doing it while having fun.

The basement was filled with laughter, jokes, personal stories, and just pure joy.

I truly felt honoured to be in their company. I shared some of my personal stories and how I miss my family. And a few of them together said “We are your family now”. I had teary eyes and felt so much love and affection from these people that up to that night I only had seen their names in my emails or briefly had met. I was indeed fortunate to have met everyone that night.

I shared with them my dilemma of choosing the right outfit that night and they all started laughing. It was pretty funny, come to think of it! Soon they started teasing me about that. We shared food and more personal stories. It was a beautiful night and we got lots done while having fun. I carry my camera everywhere with me and as I was taking their pictures I knew I had to do something to recognize their work. These women don’t expect to get anything in return. They are volunteers. But I just wanted to do something for them as they deserved to get recognition for their hard work. Without them there would be no “WINE, DINE & SHOW TIME” event!

The next day, some of us met again in the afternoon to show support for the Derby girls who were raising funds for Sexual Assault Centre London (SACL). The first thing they said when they saw me was “Did you know what to wear today? We were there from 5:30 to sometime after 9:00 pm then headed out to apk live to celebrate with the Roller Derby girls. It was another wonderful day spent with beautiful people.

Next Friday night I was there again. The night was filled with fun, food, laughter and I was grateful that Angie had opened up her heart and her home to us, being such a gracious wonderful hostess as well as volunteering her time.

The event took place on May 25, 2012. Everyone was assigned a position. Here there were again but not just as guests sitting down and enjoying themselves, but rather hard at work trying to keep everything together. They did work super hard that night and I noticed how they faced challenges that came their way with grace, kindness, and professionalism. I saw them also having fun. I also witnessed moments of triumph and sense of pride when they hugged or high-fived each other. I saw eyes making connections, smiling, nodding, and expressing relief that all their hard work paid off. I have never seen a better group than SACL’s fundraising team. What they did was the impossible. They not only made it possible, they did it with sincere love and passion that is very hard and rare to find anywhere else.

Photos by Mike Maloney/London Community

I made a video for our volunteers to capture the importance of their work, the priceless value that they bring to SACL and to give them recognition. I would have loved to see them being recognized at the gala but the program was already full. They did get recognition at the gala when they played the video. I was so proud of them and it made me really happy to watch and hear the reaction of all the guests when they watched the video.

I also met someone else that night. He was another volunteer who was in charge of audio/visual for our event. When I met him, he was sitting on the floor preparing balloons with the rest of the team.

It was very easy to get along with him. He was calm, reserved, and very smart! I have to thank him here and acknowledging that without him I would not have been able to do my part! I don’t wear a watch. As stage manager you have to know what time it is to be able to follow the program. So, I was at his side constantly asking what time it was. And soon I guess he figured why I was there and started pointing to the program and the time showing where we were. I am ever grateful for my time keeper! You rocked that night and thank you!

Photos by Mike Maloney/London Community

The group has met two times after the event to discuss feedback, results, and most importantly, to celebrate their success and to validate the importance of the work they do.

Last time we were together, we shared that it wasn’t just about fundraising and donations. It was about a group of people developing such strong bond and relationship that we can call ourselves “family”. People who worked in that group were sincere and the love was portrayed through their hard work and the success they brought to the event. Fundraising is not an easy task.

I personally have never been involved with fundraising. But witnessing how much work and time it requires and the amount of energy spent, I salute these volunteers and am very proud to have been part of their work for a couple of hours. I would love to and be more than happy to participate and volunteer my time with any projects or any other volunteer work that each of them may have. I would not hesitate to give them my time as they gave their time to SACL. Life goes on, people move on, but I will never forget the love you gave me and how warmly you received me. Rest assured that what you’ll get back from me is pure love, affection, gratitude and sense of humbleness. I sincerely love all of you and will keep you in my heart wherever life takes me. Gratitude.

Photo by: Ruthless Images

Special Thank you to Sue and Linda for their great leadership and motivating the team. You are amazing and you did a wonderful job with your "Dream Team"!

You are the beauty in the world!

The only regret that I have is not remembering to have a group photo of all of you on the night of the gala!!!

An Evening with Yanni

2012-07-02T13:53:00.001-04:00

The year was 1994 and Yanni was pretty much everywhere. I got to know him through Yanni Live at the Acropolis.

Who is Yanni? He is a Greek composer, pianist, and keyboardist. His genre of music is labelled as contemporary classical or contemporary instrumental and new age. But Yanni himself does not like the idea of assigning labels to his music. He told his audience at the JLC that the music he composes is about lessons learned throughout his life. You probably have heard Yanni’s compositions during televised Olympic Games and other sports events.

As someone who listens to all kinds of music from around the world, this was a great night to appreciate other cultures and world music. Yanni has travelled around the world extensively and in between his performance he shared small stories with his audience and that was a great way to know him better as person and not just a musician. The audience applauded him when he said “One World, One People”. His concert leaves the audience with that experience of multicultural music from around the world having experienced a taste of Greek, Latin American, Middle Eastern, Oriental, and add to the pile classical and rock! His concert offers something for everyone.

I believe an important piece for me is the romanticism of his music which gives it that intense and emotional feeling closing my eyes and believing there is nothing in the world but the beautiful music I'm hearing.

Yanni’s concert is unique in a way that he gives the spotlight to each of his band members for an opportunity to shine while playing their solos. Without his band we would not be able to experience the world music at its best. They were talented musicians in their own ways. I was impressed and enjoyed each individual performance.

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The solo drum act by Charlie Adam was outstanding. His performance was phenomenal, leaving the audience wanting more.

Alexander Zhiroff’s Cello performance was magical. I was glad to have been there listening to the heavenly pieces being played by him.

And Yanni’s vocalists Lauren Jelencovich’s performance of Nightingale was “stunning”!

Photo by: Matthew Levin / source: Lauren Jelencovich Facebook

I have been to many concerts and each artist, band or group brings their own unique quality, characteristic and music. Yes, I have been to Muse’s concerts and you can’t compare their light effects with Yanni’s. But as an open minded person, I take into consideration that Yanni is not trying to be like other super popular bands. And I appreciate the fact that Yanni has remained true to his music and the way he delivers his music to the audience. As a regular concert goer and someone who respects and cherishes music from around the world, I wouldn’t want to see Yanni becoming a copy of other artists. It is fair to say if you know yourself and you know that you do not like certain kind of music, then it is best to not go to those concerts. Then you don’t have to write or critique them negatively.

Despite his phenomenal success performing around the world and having more than 35 platinum and gold albums under his belt, I believe Yanni’s music is well-received and known more around the world than here in North America. The audience at the JLC, which included lots of Greek supporters of Yanni participated well by dancing, singing, whistling, applauding, and standing ovations. There was lots of “I LOVE YOU YANNI” being shouted too. Overall, a great night to enjoy his beautiful music and I’m really fortunate to have been able to go and had a lovely experience.

Source: http://www.youtube.com/user/SatoxD

I would like to take this opportunity to thank John Labatt Centre (JLC) for reaching out to the community and donating tickets to non-profit organizations. It is a wonderful way to spread and share goodness.

Crisis in the Sahel - Many Ways To Make Donations

2012-06-14T23:37:00.002-04:00

Source: World Food Program

The purpose of this blog is to increase awareness about Sahel Crisis as well as allowing you to make donations to your preferred charity or organization by simply clicking on the logos!

World Food Programme

"Drought in the Sahel region of West Africa has brought hunger to millions of people for the third time in recent years. Meanwhile, conflict in Mali has forced at least 300,000 people to flee their homes, adding to the hunger crisis both in Mali and neighbouring countries. WFP and its partners have launched a regional response to bring food assistance to more than 9 million people in eight countries." World Food Programme

Immediate response to emergency medical needs

"ONE IN 6 PEOPLE SUFFERS FROM CHRONIC HUNGER"

Put pressure on politicians to end hunger. Sign the petition, and push for action wherever you are.

"The Sahel is the ecoclimatic and biogeographic zone of transition between the Sahara desert in the North and the Sudanian Savannas in the south. It stretches across the north of the African continent between the Atlantic Ocean and the Red Sea. The Arabic word sāḥil ساحلliterally means "shore, coast", describing the appearance of the vegetation of the Sahel as a coastline delimiting the sand of the Sahara.

The Sahel covers parts of the territory of (from west to east) Northern Senegal, southern part of Mauritania, Mali, southern part of Algeria,Niger, Chad, southern part of Sudan and Eritrea. It is bordered on the north by the Sahara and on the south by the less arid savannah." Wikipedia

Read Horn of Africa Crisis To Make Donations