Being Me and Other Things

I Dream of Hobbit!

2014-10-08T21:00:00.000+05:30

When I work up I was still in shock! What a horrible dream it was. I checked the date on my phone and then felt the relief. I still had a little more than two months on hand. What did I dream you ask? I know, I know it’s in the title, but I can still pretend that you guys don’t know the subject of my dream right?

Okay, I dreamt that I woke up and found out that The Hobbit – The Battle of The Five Armies had already been released…. A month ago! And here I was with all the world talking about how great the movie was and how touching was its ending and so on. And everybody was sporting some or the other The Hobbit merchandise and people everywhere were quoting dialogues from the movie! Amidst all of it I was the only person who hadn’t seen the movie. I felt so devastated. I went online to book a movie ticket, but the movie was already gone from the theaters. There was a worldwide Hobbit mania going on and I was the only one who had been living under a rock!

Waking up is the best thing that happened to me. Upon waking there were two things I realized. First that I am a major Tolkien fan (duh!), and another that like everyone else I too do not like it when left out of something. It feels bad when a group of people know something that you don’t. And it is nothing short of a blow to the confidence when all the people everywhere around you are in on a joke and you just stand there not knowing what happened. This inherent need of the human mind to know or have what everyone else does is what makes each and everyone of us to be a part of the ‘herd’.

We all claim to be wanting to be different, but we still want a group of people who are as different (or as similar) as we are. We all preach that just because the rest are doing it doesn't mean we too must, but we still feel bad when we are the last person to know the latest Bollywood hit song. This need to be able to identify with the rest of the crowd makes us not only 'social animals' but also 'jealous animals'. Because when I don't have something that everyone else seems to have, I feel its unfair and my anger is mingled with jealousy. So often we confuse feeling of jealousy as a feeling of being treated with partiality. When we see a classmate receiving a higher paycheck we call life unfair, and when we see our neighbors driving a better car, we say its too much of a good thing and the neighbors will come to a bitter end.

Most of us assume and even fool ourselves as trying to be better at something, when all we are trying to do is be better than someone else. What we fail to realize in this endless game of bettering someone else is that its a never ending cycle. However fair you get, there will always be someone who's got skin lighter than you, however thin you get there will always be someone thinner than you. You get the best car in the world, next year they will come out with a newer and better model.

I'm not saying ambition is bad, but if it involves being better than everybody, all you'll get is disappointment. Because even if I see The Hobbit in first day first show, there will always be someone who's seen it before me!

Do let me know below in the comments, do you feel bad when you are left out? Are you jealous when all your friends have the latest smart phone and you don't? Oh and also let me whether you are counting down for the next Hobbit movie!

My Quotes XIII

2014-10-07T21:00:00.000+05:30

Because no one else is quoting my quotes I thought I'd quote them myself! ;)

A day spent in action is better than a day spent in thoughts.
Everything happens for a reason. And sometimes the reason is just to annoy you!
If life doesn't suck, it regurgitates.
Learning is easy, it's unlearning that makes life a challenge.
With great power comes great electricity bills!
Freedom and bondage are sometimes only a matter of perception.
Follow your dreams, but don't fall off the edge.
Do not pickle your regrets, they will just turn sour.

Tiger Killed A Boy

2014-10-06T21:00:00.000+05:30

All this hullabaloo about the white tiger killing a boy who fell into the tiger's enclosure made me wonder about so many things.

Over hyped media reaction? - Now I know its not every day that a person enters inside a tiger's enclosure in a zoo and never comes out alive. But I do feel that the whole incident was over-sensationalized. As soon as the news was reported the whole of Social Media was flooded with pictures and videos and various stories of what actually happened.
The Blame Game - This one was the most amusing aftermath. Some were blaming the tiger, others the zoo authorities, some the boy who jumped in, some the by-standers. There were memes and slogans and jokes and articles and misinterpretations and misrepresentation to pinpoint one culprit for the death of the youth.
A Weird Source of Entertainment - It all started with headlines saying young 'boy' was 'mauled/killed' by a tiger. And then every single person with access to internet was hooked to any news regarding the incident. Watching the pictures and the videos of killing became a morbid source of entertainment. People don't care whether the 'boy' was 20 or 22 (reports are contrary) nor did they care whether he jumped in willingly or accidentally fell inside the enclosure. The YouTube video of this incident has gone viral and the comments people are writing makes me wonder whether there is a drop of humanity in some or not. A man died! How on earth can that be entertaining? After all these years of development and advancement, is the human mind still barbaric?

What do you think about this whole affair? And whom do you thing was responsible? Do let me know in the comments below!

The Spider and the Wall

2014-10-04T21:00:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time there was spider. Lets call him Silly. Now one day, Silly the spider fell from his web, down on the floor. So Silly crawled towards the nearest wall and started climbing it.

Silly must have just gotten some two feet above when he missed a step(well spiders have 8 legs, one of them is bound to go wrong!) and fell back down again. But Silly was not in the least perturbed by his fall, he began his endeavor all over again. And this time Silly managed to go beyond 5 feet and he could see his web glistening. Eagerly he sped his way up, little aware of another drop waiting him. And drop he did. This drop left him disoriented but not disheartened. And again he began his arduous labor. Each time he fell and each time he tried again, till it was 99 times that the spider had failed his climb.

When Silly started his 100th attempt, he was extremely hopeful, since one of his ancestors had been successful the 100th time. And this time the spider climbed with determination, strength and most importantly HOPE! Before Silly knew it, he was already half way up the wall feeling exhilarated. But as fate would have it, he fell yet again. Crestfallen and beaten the spider just lay on the ground wondering why didn't his efforts succeed.

And while he lay there, his eyes fell on the adjoining wall. This wall too provided support to his web, since his web was built in a corner made by these two walls. Slowly the tired spider got up, and crept near the wall. A little reluctantly he began to climb it. He found something different in this wall. This wall was easier to climb, his legs were sticking well on its surface. Silly began his ascent more confidently and with new found rigor. And sometime later he was back in this web; happy, content and full of knowledge (knowledge at least about the walls.).

So many times in life we try to climb walls that were never meant for us.

Catching a Sun Rise

2014-10-03T21:00:00.000+05:30

After a very long time, I woke up at the first light of the day without the assistance of my alarm or my mom waking me up! Okay, maybe not the first light, more like the second or the third light!!! Anyways, I woke up before the sunrise, and what a wonderful feeling it was.

Looking out the window, I could see the light creeping up upon a sleepy world, and that's when I decided to catch the sunrise. So I tip toed out to my balcony and peered outside, directing my gaze towards the East. And all I saw was Neem leaves! A Neem tree was blocking my view. Not being the one to be easily disheartened I ran up a flight of stairs to go to my terrace. And again, I expectantly looked towards the East. And what do I see? A bunch of buildings!

I came back downstairs and enjoyed the fresh morning air (I live in one of those cities where we still get fresh morning air!) and wondered where the hell did my sunrise disappear. Its seems just a few years ago, all that I had to do to catch the sun rise was look towards the East from my terrace and I'd be greeted with a reddish yellow orb on the horizon.

Now the only sunrise I see is on my iPhone Weather app. So now if I wanna see a real sunrise I will probably have to pay some bucks, go to a specific place, find a sunrise spot and reach there on time! Whatever happened to simple old sunrises from the comfort of your balcony...

PS: I'm glad that towards the west of my house, all that we've got are long green fields and I still have mesmerizing sunsets at my disposal.

My Quotes XII

2014-05-18T17:49:00.000+05:30

Some more quotes:

The good in you should not be afraid of the bad in others.
Past may affect the Future, but never let it define the Future.
Let freedom not be a bondage.
Closing your eyes towards the problems does not make them disappear.
Folly and Wisdom are often defined by their results.
Being practical is not always being selfish, being selfish is not always practical.
Love, forgiveness and compassion can never be forced.

Helta Skelta

2014-03-23T14:00:00.000+05:30

Once upon a time there were two sisters, Helta and Skelta. They had the most active minds of any time. There wasn't a single thought, word or action that could escape the endless loop of their minds. Helta made sure nothing ever came out from the state of constant confusion and Skelta did her best to keep everything under endless misdirection. They lived in a far off end in a dark damp cave.

Many brave men and women who had the misfortunes of crossing the sisters' cave had fallen under their spell and met dirty ends. In a village near by stayed an old lady, who was aware of what happened to all those who had tried to cross the cursed cave. She would try to stop them, her own villagers as well as some travelers from going by that route, but all of them regarded her as a crazy old lady and would not give heed to her words.

So the old lady decided to give the task to her grandson Steady Heady. Steady was a good boy and did his grandmother's bidding. He would stand at the start of the road leading towards the cave and try to warn and reason with each passerby. Some heard him, some did not. But atleast he had more success that grandma Farsight!

Even today the cage lies at the end of Sanity, and many a times the sisters Helta and Skelta get some really juicy victims.

The Great Indian Uncivilization

2014-02-18T21:30:00.000+05:30

As a school going kid I had studied about the Indus Valley Civilization, how an advanced human community formed a life worth living. Coming back to current times there is barely anything civilized left in our country. Be it pushing and pulling to get into a bus or pepper spraying in the parliament, we Indians just don't like to behave. Now I am not saying every single Indian is ill-mannered but I do say that we tend to take our conduct lightly. And we have been smart enough to weave our this lack of social grace into a system.

People will not budge with a polite 'excuse me' but if you yell any variation of 'bhai aagha khaso ne' you'll see quick action. Greeting anyone 'good morning' or 'good evening' is limited purely to schools and certain work places, a 'thank you' to the man/woman behind the counter is met by a surprised face (they do not expect and they do not accept thank yous), making a queue is looked down upon and even if a queue is already there people hate lining up and soon its a crowd, and dont even get me started about banks and government places.

This does not mean I haven't met refined men and women, those are there too, but they are so very few; the large majority still is allergic to kindness, politeness and dicipline. And so I sat wondering what would bring about a change in the situation, can we as a nation become inherently polite and mild mannered? If only every child is educated and taught the fine art of living peacefully with others can this change be brought about. Yes, it is going to be slow and yes its going to be very painful, but if we want to turn India back into one of the great civilizations its got to be done

My Quotes XI

2013-09-29T17:46:00.000+05:30

Few more...

Ideals should ideally be left in the textbook.
What goes up, comes down; only if it has lost the reason to go further up.
Its not about being different, its about being better.
Beware the Leap of Blind Faith.
Many relations turn sour not because of lack of love, but because of lack of acceptance.
Laughter is also the best vaccine!

If You Marry...

2013-06-21T14:36:00.001+05:30

Dear Girls,

If you marry a rich man, be prepared to deal with commoditization.

If you marry a popular man, be prepared to deal with a tall ego.

If you marry a handsome man, be prepared to deal with vanity.

If you marry an over-achiever, be prepared to be outsmarted.

But if you marry a God fearing man, be prepared for a journey of a lifetime.

The Joy of Little Things

2013-05-19T17:30:00.000+05:30

Joy can be found in the smallest of the things, like

Dancing in the rain
Catching up with an old friend
Hugging a child
Singing your heart out
Sharing an ice cream
Laughing together

It is in small things that happiness is found, seek no further than your heart.

Instant Gratification

2013-04-24T22:30:00.000+05:30

We the people of today's world have evolved into a curious species. We are the only living creatures who seek instant gratification. The art of creating a pleasurable feeling on the spur of a moment, the habit of being more impulsive and the idea of putting one's self before everything else.

We no longer think before acting; we want it, we get it without sparing a thought towards how it would affect anyone else. All we care about is our feeling good, even if it is at the cost of others, even if it is at the cost of our integrity.

So now one doesn't think before getting into a relationship, for it looks gratifying at that time. One doesn't think before cheating(whether at workplace or in a relationship or during any form of transaction), because that is gratifying too. We eat what we want regardless of our health, for it gives us pleasure. We splurge on useless things unaware of the value of money, for it makes us flitting joy. All want short cuts, all want the spasmodic instances of enjoyment; hardwork has just become a bookish word, abused by many, implemented by none.

And slowly I watch, with regret I observe as slowly I society decay's through the momentary pleasures of the attractive to look at monster named Instant Gratification.

Divine Assistance

2013-04-19T22:00:00.000+05:30

The forgery of fear taking control
Feelings clouding the heart
It takes more than yourself
To come out of the dark

Mistakes repeated with higher stakes
Masters of deceit rule the life
Alone you wont overcome
However long you strive

Fraction, friction, fabrication, facade
And a cocktail of misplaced expectations
Alone, all alone how long to drag

Sooner or later, give way to supplication

Divine assistance! Divine assistance!
Is what we need,
Divine assistance! Divine assistance!
The only way to succeed.

My Quotes X

2013-04-14T15:00:00.000+05:30

Here's another list of quotes...

Don't confuse being calm with being inactive.
Rules are meant to shape, laws are meant to chisel.
If you can't do it perfect, don't take it up.
The less you bring your feelings along, the less the chances of getting hurt.
Don't measure a person on the scales of your prejudices.
Ideals differ from man to man.
Don't wait for your death to give people a chance to say good things about you.
Enjoy the fruit while its ripe.

Life Cycle...

2013-04-13T09:54:00.000+05:30

The one who lives demands

The one who demands seeks

The one who seeks finds

The one who finds forges

The one who forges creates

The one who creates understands

The one who understands forgives

The one who forgives cares

The one who cares loves

And the one who loves lives!

Antidisestablishmentarianism

2013-04-08T21:00:00.000+05:30

Antidisestablishmentarianism. A word that means to oppose disestablishment. And to disestablish something means to end its establishment. So basically its the opposition to change something that was already there but is now to be removed. Still confused?

Let me explain antidisestablishmentarianism in an Indian context. India is a nation full of contrary ideologies. Where every thought and idea is equally opposed followed by another group opposing the opposers, the chain goes on and on. When some law or idea or new culture is being established we oppose the establishment. Later when due to too much opposition the law/idea/culture is being disestablished we oppose the disestablishment as well, giving rise to... antidisestablishmentarianism!

Whether it is was the age old heinous practice of sati or the still prevalent dowry system, whether its alcohol consumption or dance bars, we oppose, oppose and oppose. A nation that loves to create ruckus without trying to achieve a common goal for the good of the masses. We enjoy antidisestablishmentarianism even if we don't know the word!

Why Do Women Cry?

2012-10-18T22:21:00.000+05:30

"Mom, why do women cry?", asked David to his mother. David was about to get married in a weeks time and was trying to take a crash course from his mother on women, to better understand his wife-to-be.

"David, a woman cries for a lot of reasons, but basically its her way of expressing whenever she's overwhelmed with emotions. She cries for reasons happy, and she cries when too stressed. She cries when it hurts, physically or emotionally or sometimes both.

A woman cries over many things, but she weeps when only in pain. There are many things in this world that make a woman weep, make sure you are not one of them!"

Places and what they stand for...

2012-10-03T22:00:00.000+05:30

When I hear someone say some city/state names, following is what I actually hear:

Mumbai - shopping, shopping and more shopping!!!

Bangalore - Hangout! Chill!

Shillong - NATURE! Food! Shopping! And lots of rain!

Kerala - Food, nature, lots of humidity and heat, kappa meen curry!

Ahmedabad - Friends, food, shopping, food, movies and did I mention food?

Gandhinagar - Super green chill out point!

Pune - Hangout

Baroda - chillout

Goa - Beaches!

Mt. Abu - Cold, temples, kinda boring.

Girnar - Steps, steps and more steps! Breathtaking view.

What about you? What are the things that pop up in your head when you hear the name of a certain place you've been to?

Kneel

2012-09-16T10:30:00.000+05:30

Kneel

If standing up against someone/something doesn't work, kneel for them/it.

Disclaimer: The image has been sourced from Google image search. The quote is my own.

Gearing up for Monday Morning - Let's Create History!

2012-09-07T21:14:00.000+05:30

It's Friday and many of us must have already planned out our weekend. But what about the dreaded Monday? Mondays are not to be dreaded. Read on...

It’s the start of a new week; a new day has begun, and while we are at it let us play our parts well. Put a smile on someone’s face, give the one in need a helping hand, hold on a little more to that desperate situation, trust the least trustworthy, fill the days with life, kill hostility with laughter, fill boredom with purpose and most important of all, let us create history.

You and I are here, not to wake up do our respective jobs, eat, drink and to back to sleep again. No. We are here for a higher purpose; we who are born in this age of the world, in this time of the history have a bigger purpose, a higher responsibility, to leave a better world for the next generation to inherit.

But what can one person do to create history? Yes I know that not all are recognized in the chapters of history and there are many unsung heroes, but our purpose of living is not to get our names in the history textbooks or to get a monument made for us, our purpose is to be our best in the days and time that is given to us to improve our world.

Be it the small act of helping the marginalized, or breaking the barriers of caste system, be it about being vocal about the gender prejudices or standing up against a corrupt system, every bit counts. You may not be featured in the news papers; you may not even succeed to eradicate what you stood against. You won’t see overnight results, but you will create a ripple, which will be noticed by few, a ripple which will grow and spread, slowly but steadily and you my dear friend will be the one who has set a stone rolling to change the course of history.

This Monday, wake up to create history!

Liebster Blog Award

2012-09-02T18:27:00.001+05:30

I love surprises, specially the ones that leave me happy! I got one such surprise when Karen Blessing, of Baking in a Tornado decided to present me with the Liebster Blog Award (she did this quite a while ago but I took a long time to actually believe that it was a reality). So now I have to answer her questions and chose my own 11 award winners to spread the blog-love that I got.

So here goes:

How many total blog entries have you posted? - 113 Posts
Do you have a favorite entry that you've posted? - Yes I do, its My Date With Time
Do you work at promoting your blog? - Not much!
Have you ever had writer's block? If so, what did you do? - Yes, currently suffering from an acute one, and I have asked a few fellow bloggers to guest post on my blog while I deal with my block.
Whats the greatest impact blogging has had on you? - Through years it has shown me how I have grown, when I look back to my old pieces, it's a bit of my own old self captured in there.
Who has been the most help to you in your blogging? - All those kind people who have followed my blog and commented on it, given me courage to go on.
What's your leisure activity (besides blogging)? - Reading ofcourse.
What's your favorite time of the year and why? - CHRISTMAS! For obvious reasons!
If someone rings your doorbell and you are in the middle of getting down a thought for your blog, do you answer the door or keep writing? - Write hastily in shorthand, answer the door, get back to writing!
Boxers or briefs? Sorry don't answer that, just wanted to see if you are still paying attention! - That was a cheek!
Has blogging become an addiction? Do you think we all need an intervention? - Uh... Ummmm... Yeah... Maybe... I'll go and feed the cat!

Now ideally I have to ask 11 questions to next 11 bloggers to whom I will be passing on this award... But I am feeling so lazy, that I would ask my readers to just add their blog link in the comments and claim the award! Esay peasy! :)

She Soaks No More...

2012-08-20T20:58:00.000+05:30

The day began and so did her chores. It was the same routine everyday, wake up, cook breakfast, feed the children, dress them, feed hubby, dress him partly too (she wondered how he managed not to see things that were right in front of his eyes!), and once all left home, the ritual of washing and cleaning began. The dusting and sweeping the house would take the rest of the morning and then it was time for the dirty laundry.

And when I say dirty, I mean totally, terribly dirty. How did her kids managed to get so many stains on their clothes was beyond her, and she always dreaded cleaning them afterwards. Today again was no different. As she carried the hamper of dirty clothing towards the washing machine, she sighed. She sorted the laundry into "the dirty" and "the very dirty", she sighed even more when she saw that most of her laundry fell under the very dirty category. She'd have to soak again.

She never had free time for herself, she was always busy doing something for someone. As she mixed her washing powder in the bucket full of water, she mixed her thoughts with despair, as her arm went into the bucket and ran in circles, she brooded over her decision to quit the job on the arrival of their second child. She did not mind being a stay-at-home mom, but she deeply craved some time for herself. One by one she soaked the clothes into the detergent solution, and as each of the clothing was drowned in the bucket, she was drowning herself in self pity and frustration. Finally when she had added the last of the clothes, she waited for them to be soaked for half an hour, while she soak herself in sorrow. She was losing herself in the lost days of happiness, and soon her face was tear stained.

It was the same routine everyday. Soaking daily, the clothes in the detergent that didn't seem to help much, and herself into misery which didn't help much either.

Three months later...

She couldn't believe she would ever find happiness again, and in such amount. For months she had been soaking in hopelessness, but now she was free from it! It had been a mere accident that had made this drastic change in her life.

As she mindlessly added stuff to her cart while shopping for home supplies, she just happened to add Surf Excel Matic to her cart. She didn't have anything particular in mind at that time, she just wanted to try out this new detergent. Once home, while she was arranging the bags of goods she had brought, her eyes fell on the Surf pack, the word 'vibrating molecules' had caught her eye!
She shrugged it off! No more soaking because of some vibrating molecules thingy sounded too far fetched! But later she decided to try it. And voila, did it work! Her clothes could not have been more cleaner. Now she was saving almost 45mins that she usually wasted in soaking and scrubbing before turning the clothes in the washing machine.

What was more, with no time to spend in self pity, her spirits actually lifted up. She now found time to do things she actually wanted to. Try out new hobbies, experiment with a new recipe or just catch up with a new song on radio, days went by and from a stay-at-home gloomy mom, she turned into a stay-at-home happy mom.

This post is for the Indiblogger contest " Soak No More" powered by Surf Excel.

I know what I like, and I don't like change

2012-08-13T21:42:00.000+05:30

Adam Garratt of The British Menu has been kind enough to offer me a guest post. He is an excellent blogger and an even better cook, his culinary blog has all the best cuisines of British origin and adaptation. Do check the blog out for delicious as well as easy to make recipes.

I know what I like, and I don't like change

That phrase used to be synonymous with British people, other countries used to look at us and thought we just ate fish and chips and drank far too much tea, despite this being un true I can see why they would think it. For those that know me and my blog will understand my love for British food, we have some of the best food in the world, with traditional dishes and of course food we have inherited from other countries, such as India.

Britain is a great absorber of other food cultures and that's a good thing, it got really going with the Romans, they gave us the parsnip, peas, pasta and all sorts of other delights. India has given us a spice explosion over the past 30-40 years, but it hasn't been plain sailing I can tell you. I remember as a child being forced to eat left over Christmas turkey that was mixed with cheap curry powder and raisins, this somehow passed as a curry in many British households, and for me at least it took a number of years to realise that actually this is not a curry, it's an abomination.

I live in a city with a vast Indian culture, with a vibrant community all sharing their food knowledge and recipes handed down from generation to generation. Don't get me wrong I have tasted some awful Indian food just as much as I have tasted some awful British food, I once had a lamb biryani that was so tough and chewy you could of made a handbag out of it.

I have had some heated debates with some people about me featuring Pizza on the site, saying it's not British, well no it isn't a traditional dish but it has become part of our food culture, I grew up with it and so did millions of others. The same goes for curry, our palates have become attuned to the subtle and complex spices of Indian cuisine. You know it is said that Tikka masala was created in Britain in the 70's, when a waiter served up a traditional chicken tikka and the customer asked where the gravy was, needless to say the chef had to think on his feet and made a sauce from a tin of tomato soup! Of course this could be un true but it's an amazing story none the less.

I love my country's food, and I wouldn't trade it for all the tea in china, I adore our beef, I love our Jersey royal potatoes and the Jersey cows that produce the best cream, we have cheeses that could beat France into submission and puddings that just make me smile. But one thing is for sure is curry is here to stay as well, and thankfully our nation has welcomed it with open arms along with spaghetti bolognese, pizza, and Chinese food.

So getting back to that old classic saying, I would re phrase it as 'I know what I like, but I also like change'

Thank you for reading, My blog is www.thebritishmenu.com

Casteism

2012-08-11T22:14:00.001+05:30

Today I have Sudarshan Rangarajan with me for a guest post. Let's know more about with him in his own words:

I am Sudarshan Rangarajan, recent computer engineer, searching for ‘what-makes-me- happy- so- as- to –pursue- it- as- something- more -than –a- hobby’.

I vent my frustration, thoughts, ideas (yet to strike me), and views about current issues in a blog www.simplysud.com . This is the first time I am writing a guest post. So I am pretty excited about it and want to know your thoughts about it.

Casteism

What is the first thing that strikes you when you hear the word “caste”? Is it reservation? Or is it oppression?

The caste system originally wasn’t supposed to compartmentalize the society on basis of your caste but it started out as a classification based on the type of work a person did. Broadly they were of four types

Khsatriyas – the protectors
Brahmins –teaching and performing rites and rituals.
Vaishyas – the business community
Shudras – the community that did menial jobs

According to historians initially when this system called the ‘varna’ was implemented it wasn’t supposed to be hereditary. But it inadvertently became hereditary as a father would want one or all of his children to carry forward his legacy. So basically a person from a certain Varna could try and pursue any other Varna.

Some thousand years ago the Varna system was manipulated by the upper Varna especially the Brahmins and converted into a jati or caste system. This caste system got manipulated, multiplied, categorised making many sub-castes within the main four caste. With the work they did the shudras were stigmatised. They were declared as untouchables and very few got out of the grasp of the problems associated with being a shudra and educated themselves.

The problem our country faces is different region wise:

Lower caste in cities/metros:

Now we have many cities that are inhabited by well established people of the all castes including the lower caste. The ones who grabbed the opportunities provided and made it big. But now that they are well established and can sustain or rather prosper without the additional support from the government I think they should give up the privileges associated with the caste and help other downtrodden communities reap the benefit. As they already know about how to avail the support they can inform others about it. For example on a basic level if you have a maid who is from lower caste you can inform her about the various schemes that will help her invest safely in government bonds and about schools that are free for them that even provide the books and stationary.

Lower caste in north India (Uttar Pradesh, Bihar, Jharkhand, and others):

The situation of the lower caste here is grim. They aren’t allowed to use the same facilities as the upper caste. Even the temples are supposedly different for the lower caste. They aren’t allowed to go to the same school as the upper caste kids do. Hospitals have separate waiting rooms, nurses, ward boys and even the preference is given to the upper caste. The lower caste women are the ones who get the worst possible treatment. In a survey of 2006 among 500 dalit women of 4 states, 116 said they had been raped, additional 234 said they were assaulted sexually. Being a woman in this country is tough but being a dalit woman in impoverished states makes it even tougher as being sexually abused by an upper caste is an inescapable part of their lives.

Lower caste in Tamil Nadu:

The case here is very peculiar and is actually completely opposite to the situation in the rest of the country. Till the 60s the caste system did exist but more or less there was peace. Some places did have separate facilities for the people of different castes and opportunities for the lower caste were few but more compared to the ones in other parts of the country. Then in 60s there was rise of D.M.K (Dravida Munnetra Khazagam) which claimed that the Sanskrit speaking Brahmin & Kshatriya society was Aryan and the rest who belonged to lower Dravid. This movement gained momentum as the people thought they had a voice in D.M.K., they opposed Hindi as a language and said Tamil is the language of poor people. In this rage of anti-Hindi, anti- Aryan (Kshatriya and Brahmin) which converted into votes and D.M.K. came into power. As vote bank politics they played the reservation quota card and kept increasing the quota limit. Not only was the quota raised up 69% but also according to the statistics 87% of the Tamil Nadu is backward class (SC, ST, and MBC) which according to individual reports is a bloated figure. Since it is the backward class that is now the majority, the tables have turned. It is noticed that people from upper caste are made fun of and are not allowed into various schools and colleges. It is ‘reverse casteism’.

The problem is that the previous generation still very much believes in the caste system, and they pass this on to the next generation. The only possible place where we can start eradication of caste is at the school level. As kids we do not care about asking the caste; we just make friends on the first name basis. We just care and share because that is all we are taught. We aren’t told to ask each other’s caste when we get acquainted.

I came to know about my friend's caste only when we were about to pass out from high school and my friend who I had known for 4 years had to submit an OBC certificate. If we reduce the number of times we ask a child his/her caste in any way be it informal or due to formal obligation I guess that will be a step in the right direction. Because the moment we see something different, someone having a different identity, as kids it changes our thinking. As adults (if educated) only an incident or behaviour is something that will trigger an unusual behavior.

There is so much more to write, so much more to do about it.

Thank you for taking time to read this post.

Thanks to Rujuta for this wonderful opportunity.

Disclaimer: The post is a Guest Post wherein the views of the author are expressed.

About Love, Marriages and Other Arrangements

2012-08-08T22:00:00.000+05:30

Roshni

Roshni was sitting on the bench on the railway station, waiting for the train to arrive. She had covered her face with big sunglasses and a scarf to hide the bruises, and she wore an oversized kurta to hide her pregnant belly. She was sleep deprived and starved. She looked almost on the brink of death. But if you would have seen Roshni six months back, you would have instantly fallen in love with her rosy cheeks and clear complexion.

Roshni fell in love with Prasad, she was 19, he was 22, and they both decided to elope. Prasad's friends had arranged for a priest do their wedding in a nearby temple, and the first few weeks they spent in a rented house. Soon they were out of money and after lots of bickering Prasad finally agreed to take Roshni to his home. Things turned out to be worse than expected. The family not only rejected her, they also abused her verbally and physically, but she stood her ground as she had no where to go. Things became even more worse once Prasad and his family found out that Roshni was pregnant. They fixed Prasad's marriage with the girl of their choice. and when Roshni objected they forced her to down rat poison, she some how managed to break free and run away.

'Your train is here madam!', said the porter. Roshni stood up, adjusted her scarf and boarded the train that would take her away from her 'love' marriage.

Usha

'Usha! He's here...!', shouted Jyoti, Usha's younger sister. The groom had arrived. Usha who had so far just fussed about her bridal outfit was now excited and nervous on hearing the arrival of her groom. Arjun and Usha's marriage was fixed a month back, it was the standard Indian arranged marriage. The families first exchanged details of each others wards and then the groom's family came to see the bride. They liked the girl, and the girl's family too found the boy perfectly compatible with their daughter. Usha didn't have much to say or do in the match making process. She was only asked once whether she liked the boy, she had coyly nodded her head. She loved her parents and knew they would find the best match for her.

A year passed happily and Usha knew her parents had made a right choice. She loved Arjun, and Arjun adored her.

Janet

'I would like to book a table for two,' said Janet on call, 'And make it a candle-light gourmet dinner!' She made the arrangements and hung up smiling, it was Frank's birthday today, and she had planned out a surprise dinner date for him. They'd been married for the past 5 years. There's was a love marriage, a fairytale love marriage! They met in college, fell in love, decided to get married, and the parents on both the sides agreed. Frank's family had not only accepted her, they loved her as her own. She took some time to adjust to her new surroundings and Frank's mother had been ever so patient. She guided Janet like her very own daughter, once she even helped her to sort out a quarrel with Frank.

The idea of a dinner date was Janet's mother-in-law's as well. Initially Janet was a little skeptical, she did not want to leave her 2 year old son behind.But after repeated assurances of her mother-in-law to take care of their son she'd finally agreed.

Janet smiled as he opened her wardrobe to decide what to wear for her dinner date with her loving husband.

Urmila

'I don't want to get married!'

'Then what do you want to do? You are already 27, do you want to remain in your parents house forever?'

'So now your own daughter is a burden to you?'

'No darling. Listen to me, you are a girl and someday you will have to leave this house and go. Is there anybody else in your life?'

'Ofcourse not mom! There is no one!'

'Then why not marry this boy, he's really nice. Give him a try, he might turn out to be better than you think!'

A doorbell rang, and Urmila was brought back from her memories. She remembered the discussion she had had with her mother before reluctantly agreeing to marry Ajay. It had been 3 years since they got married and in these 3 long years they never learnt how to live with each other. There was constant bickering, nagging, taunting about things as small as the number of spoons needed on the dinner table. Then a month ago, finally fed up of having to tolerate each other, they filed for divorce. Urmila got up to open the door, expecting the postman with the some divorce document. Instead it turned out to be her mother-in-law at the doorstep. She never wanted them to take a divorce fearing the society, and she had come here to talk it out with Urmila. Urmila had a feeling that it would turn out very much like the talk she had with her mother...

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The one who lives demands The one who demands seeks The one who seeks finds The one who finds forges The one who forges creates The one who creates understands The one who understands forgives The one who forgives cares The one who cares loves And the one who loves lives!

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Casteism

About Love, Marriages and Other Arrangements

The one who lives demands

The one who demands seeks

The one who seeks finds

The one who finds forges

The one who forges creates

The one who creates understands

The one who understands forgives

The one who forgives cares

The one who cares loves

And the one who loves lives!