Beks and Ro

Day whatever of Sheltering in Place

2020-05-14T10:33:00.000-04:00

Today I was woken up at 6:00 am by a massive thunderstorm, it's close to 9:30 am now and it's still drizzling. It made me feel quite homesick for monsoon season at home. Of course, a lot of things are making me feel quite homesick nowadays. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that going home is probably not on the cards for a while. My favorite posts on Instagram are when someone posts pictures of their gardens - especially when I know those gardens well. Our garden here is going wild. Dandelions and thistles abound. We need to mulch. We should start filling our planter boxes - plan a Victory Garden.

It's been a quiet work week for me and I think for the kids as well. Ro bought the kids a microscope. Last night Aditi cut herself accidentally and we all looked at a drop of her blood on a slide.

2020-04-28T19:05:00.002-04:00

So we have been "sheltering in place" for 5, 6 weeks now? In the beginning the quarantine seemed fine, tolerable, maybe even fun. Do your part, stay home, watch Netflix and flatten the curve! But everyday the news seems worse, the death tolls are increasing, the virus has new ways to kill us, and too bad if you are a poor minority. There is no sense that the Federal government is doing anything genuinely helpful. I cannot even say that it is going through the motions. Pritzker seems to be doing his best but even so, I am not sure what that will mean in the long run.

I recognize that I am lucky, so lucky. I am not on the front lines - I am not a doctor or a nurse or an essential worker of any sort. I am lucky that I can avoid going out out as much as possible. I am not asking for sympathy but what I crave more than anything is a sense that something proactive is being done - a plan being put into place. PPE, tests, contact tracing. Maybe this information is out there but it feels lost in all the terrible stories.

I am not sure what I can do to help. I am not sure that the choices I make will be genuinely helpful . I am not sure if I will be doing enough.

I try and reassure myself that China seems to be back on it's feet, that the fact that S. Korea and New Zealand seemed to have kept their death tolls low as a sign that this virus is in fact not invincible or inevitable.

I went for an antibody test today. The best case would be that we had it and that it confers at least some period of immunity. Again - there is no information on this question - what kind of immunity, for how long, does it mean you can get it again or that if you do it would be milder. When will we know?

ok, got all that off my chest! back to stiff upper lipping it.

2020-02-13T12:35:00.001-05:00

I am home bound after about two years of working because I needed my visa renewed so I could renew my EAD so I could be legal to work. Of course, because beauracracy is less than transparent, I have no idea when it’s all going to go down and so here I am, halfway through cleaning my closet, writing a blog post on a blog I haven’t opened in years.

I don’t even know if I would even want to go back to work, because honestly staying at home is pretty great. I don’t feel stretched, I don’t feel stressed, I don’t feel like I am spinning trying to figure out how to be two places at the same time.

I feel like I have the flexibility to just write a little post, to think about making some totally not great art, to do some cooking maybe. Staying at home means I have time to just be, to evaluate, to appreciate how lucky I really am.

NYE

2018-12-31T14:11:00.000-05:00

So my last post was my New Year Resolutions but this post is more about what I want from 2019 a I want the kids to find their groove, an activity or hobby that they want to focus on and improve I want Ro to move jobs. It’s past time. He deserves it. I want him to find a place that appreyhim and challenges his and most importantly work that he really enjoys. I want for myself to get better at being me. To focus on me and build up what I find important- relationships and friendships because those things are not my strengths. I also want to feel more like me. Like my insides and outsides match more. If that makes sense.
Anyway

Heading into the Future

2018-12-30T12:10:00.002-05:00

Ahahahah! In my last post a year and a half ago I said blogging was so old fashioned and so establishment but the fact is blogging was so irrelevant and invisible that people on Twitter are talking about bringing it back. Hahahaha!
Anyway as I go into this new year 2019, I just want to say that in spite of the chaos and the uncertainty politically and for Sears, it’s been a great 2018 for us personally. We bought a new house, the kids are happy and healthy. I started working at Jcrew.
Next year I will be 40 and it’s unnerving to be an age you remember your mother turning. But also it is somehow lacking the drama and soul searching I had anticipated. It’s more like just another year than a milestone. I think milestone years were ruined for me when I turned 13 and absolutely nothing happened. I do try and make a big deal out of it periodically but I’m not quite succeeding.
I do have some resolutions for 2019 though:
Make a regular donation to ACLU and a local charity
Take pictures of the kids every month and put them in an album
Read more books instead of on the phone

That’s it. Keeping it simple here

Xoxo and I hope you all have a great new year!

2017-07-27T16:55:00.001-04:00

These two; I love these two, they take up all my time and my energy and I am exhausted by them and energised by them. I love them so very much.

I know I have stopped posting here. Honestly Instagram is my favorite place on the internet now and although I do not much care for Facebook, that is probably where I share the most of what's going on with me, with us. I miss posting here though. I miss the camaraderie. It's funny when I think about how new blogging felt when I started and now it's so old fashioned, so establishment. Oh well.

I'm not going to promise to try to post here more but I hope I will.