Bella Zadore News

Jumpstarting Your Stalled Marriage

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 19:12:00 +0000

Marriage experts identify certain transition points in the life of even the healthiest marriage — transitions that, if ignored, can leave couples out-of-sync and emotionally disconnected from one another.

by Karen O'Connor

A 50-something couple sits at a table for two in a nice restaurant. Even the most casual observer can tell they aren't communicating with one another. Oh, she may ask him to pass the salt. Or, without looking up, he'll inquire, "How's your steak?" But there's no real conversation going on, no eye contact and no sign of the spark that once animated their marriage.

Watching this couple is sad. Becoming this couple is tragic. How did their relationship devolve to a point of coexistence rather than co-partnering? Is their monosyllabic interaction a sign they no longer love each other?

More likely, they've simply neglected the regular "checkups" necessary to keep their marriage running optimally in "all weather" conditions.

Marriage experts identify certain transition points in the life of even the healthiest marriage — transitions that, if ignored, can leave couples out-of-sync and emotionally disconnected from one another.

Typical transition points are the birth of a child, when children leave home and after during the retirement of one or both partners. If those life transitions aren't consciously noted and addressed (Who are we now that we're no longer devoted to parenting and our careers?), it can result in couples who gradually drift apart and take up separate lives, barely noticing that they've become total strangers.

"We have concluded that first-half strategies practiced in the second half of life are a sure formula for failure," says Terry Taylor, who, with his wife Carol, founded Second Half Ministries in 1998. The Taylors encourage couples to take a deliberate approach to finishing well in all aspects of life, but especially in their marriages.

So, where do you begin? A review of expert advice and conversations with some who have been happily, productively married for 30 years or more reveals practical steps you can take to make sure you and your spouse don't wind up silently idling your engines. So check under the hood — it may be time to:

Review your past objectively. Forgive yourself and your spouse for past mistakes — then resolve to learn from them. One couple said an ancient disagreement they'd had years before over how to raise their son reared its ugly head again when the wife observed her husband repeating the same behavior with their grandson. "It was a negative sort of déjà vu," said the wife. By talking things out, these grandparents freed themselves, and their marriage, from the invisible wedge of unresolved conflicts.

Take a personal inventory. Midlife couples should take the time to assess each others' evolving interests, strengths and differences. What are your personal values, skills and spiritual gifts, and how do they complement your spouse's? How can you support your spouse in his or her personal development?

Find new activities you both enjoy. For instance, those who never enjoyed camping before may find it's a great way to get away for some quality time together. "Never say never," said a couple married for 34 years who acquired a canoe, an RV and a shiatsu massager after the last of their kids moved out. Take language courses or volunteer at a museum — just do it together.

Look outward. Pray about what calling God may have for you, both individually and as a couple. Ask how you can support each other in your callings. Are there causes you both passionately support? Explore ways to get more involved in a hands-on way, and "work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for man" (Colossians 3:23).

Fight fair. It's too idealistic to believe that even the most well-planned, intentional, purposefully lived midlife marriage can proceed without conflict. Be prompt, open and direct in communicating your feelings. Make it your goal to heal the differences that come between you, not punish the other person or inflict guilt trips. Get to the root of the issue! "I let my newly retired husband micromanage the kitchen for awhile until I couldn't take it anymore," said one frustrated wife. "He was an engineer and actually put everything in the pantry in alphabetical order. Finally I just asked him to stop — and he did!"

Have fun. As the experts and other happily married "second-halfers" will tell you — lighten up! Life is difficult and full of times when you have to be serious and somber. Enjoy leisure activities together. Go to funny movies, save up jokes to tell one another, get silly with the grandkids — whatever it takes to put smiles on your faces!

Dare to dream. If you've been blessed with good health, a reasonable amount of financial stability and a sense of adventure, maybe this is the time of life to travel to places you never thought you'd see — or to start the ministry you've both always dreamed of launching. Discover your passions and follow them. For all you know, your whole life could have been lived "for such a time as this" (Esther 4:14).

All in all, the key to not winding up like the mechanical couple in the restaurant is to realize that your life together is God's gift to you. Like all His gifts, it's meant to be nurtured and cherished each and every day.

Remember when you were dating and you could be together all evening, then talk on the phone until the wee hours of the morning because there was so much more to say? With a little effort, a similar sort of excitement can be a part of your revitalized marriage. May you close down every restaurant you visit.

Copyright © 2006, Karen O'Connor. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

Dating 101: Six Things Men Should Have Before You Marry Them

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 21:35:00 +0000

Michelle Knudson, Yahoo! Contributor Network

You can tell very much about a man by his actions and responses to certain things. Here are six things men should have before you get married.

Motivation To Be Successful in Life

You do not want to be a man that is not motivated to be the best that he can be. You want to know that a man will be a good provider for the whole family now and forever. You need to realize that it is a ton of work for a man to work and go to school while married. You need to emotionally support a man in ways that motivates him to be even further successful in life. It is you and him together as a team so make it work. Successful business owners have enough motivation that is needed in a romance relationship to take care of you too. Successful people are not lazy.

A Home

You want a man that is stable. You want a man that has a home. You don't want to be with a man that has a roommate all the time due to finance troubles. You don't want a man that moves around too much more than one normally does unless he is in the military or something of that sort. You want to be with a man that can provide you with a stable home to live in without needing to move around unless you have certain circumstances in life. For Example, Musicians are often on the road several times through the year

Safe Reliable Vehicle

You need to be with a man that knows that it is important to have a safe and reliable vehicle. You want a man that wants you to have the best car possible that is safe for you and future children. It is important that a man does not control you with tactics such as not allowing you to have a vehicle.

High Paying Job

You need to make sure that he is able to provide for the family. He needs to have a pretty secure job that pays a decent salary. Salary is very important since it dictates the kind of life that you will have with him. You don't want to stay in the poor house forever.

Non Abusive Behaviors

for more...

Signs that Say He's Just Not into You; Recognize How to Spot Mr. Wrong so You Can Make Room for Mr. Right

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 23:12:00 +0000

Every woman has had her eye on or dated the type of guy I'm talking about here. You are never really sure where you stand with him or what his interest level really is. Call him Mr. Flake, Mr. Player, Mr. Self
Absorbed or Mr. Afraid of Commitment. Whatever his romantic style, it's just leaving you confused, frustrated and wondering what's really going on in his mind. So, let's spotlight the warning signs to look out for when a guy simply is not that into you or playing you.

The Physical Signs

He'll avoid eye contact, his body is positioned away from you, his arms are folded tightly over his chest, he does not encourage conversation or volunteers anything about himself. He maintains his distance.

The Emotional Signs

You've been dating for at least 6 months. He still can't say he loves you or wants to talk about his feelings in regards to you. If you have a guy who is constantly telling you that he does not love you, is not in love with you, is not sure how he feels and does not see a future with you after the 6 month mark, believe him. I feel that is a good marker of time for him to know where he sees this going and if he is developing strong feelings for you or loves you. When a guy is into you, he'll want to let you know how he feels when he is sure that you feel the same way. If he can't do that, start re-assessing what you are still doing with him.

for more...

Tips For How To Love Yourself

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Tue, 15 Feb 2011 22:01:00 +0000

Learning to love yourself isn't easy -- especially if you're a survivor of childhood abuse or neglect. But there
are things you can do to boost your self-love.

Ask for a list of things people like about you.

Sometimes it can be hard to find things we like or love about ourselves. So -- ask other people to tell you all
the things they like about you. Ask a friend, a lover, a therapist. This isn't a replacement for your own love;
it's a first step in learning to love yourself. You may need to hear the things other people like about you
before you can value them in yourself.
If hearing what people like about you is hard, ask your friends to write it down for you, or leave it on your
voice mail, so you can read/listen to it over and over. Go back to it as many times as you can. Even if you
don't believe that someone can like a particular thing about you, or you don't believe it exists, trust that your
friend does see it and value it.
When you start to hear critical voices inside your head, go back to those things your friend said/wrote about you, and remember that you are loved.

Make a list of the things you like about yourself.

Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. Be as honest as you can. Modesty doesn't help you
here; neither do old critical messages. If you're having trouble finding things you value about yourself, think
about the things you value and love in your friends, then see if those things exist inside you, too. Most
often, they do.
Fill a special notebook with your list, or create a set of cards. Make the notebook as beautiful as you can --
make it something that makes you feel good when you look at it. Then open it up and look at it any time
you're feeling down or critical about...

Valentine's Day - History behing the holiday

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 18:12:00 +0000

February 14 is Valentine's Day. Although it is celebrated as a lovers' holiday today, with the giving of candy, Valentine flowers, or other gifts between couples in love, it originated in 5th Century Rome as a tribute to St. Valentine, a Catholic bishop.

For eight hundred years prior to the establishment of Valentine's Day, the Romans had practiced a pagan celebration in mid-February commemorating young men's rite of passage to the god Lupercus. The celebration featured a lottery in which young men would draw the names of teenage girls from a box. The girl assigned to each young man in that manner would be his sexual companion during the remaining year.

In an effort to do away with the pagan festival, Pope Gelasius ordered a slight change in the lottery. Instead of the names of young women, the box would contain the names of saints. Both men and women were allowed to draw from the box, and the game was to emulate the ways of the saint they drew during the rest of the year. Needless to say, many of the young Roman men were not too pleased with the rule changes.

Instead of the pagan god Lupercus, the Church looked for a suitable patron saint of love to take his place. They found an appropriate choice in Valentine, who, in AD 270 had been beheaded by Emperor Claudius.

Claudius had determined that married men made poor soldiers. So he banned marriage from his empire. But Valentine would secretly marry young men that came to him. When Claudius found out about Valentine, he first tried to convert him to paganism. But Valentine reversed the strategy, trying instead to convert Claudius. When he failed, he was stoned and beheaded.

During the days that Valentine was imprisoned, he fell in love with the blind daughter of his jailer. According to folklore, his love for her, and his great faith, managed to miraculously heal her from her blindness before his death. Before he was taken to his death, he signed a farewell message to her, "From your Valentine." The phrase has been used on his day ever since.

Although the lottery for women had been banned by the church, the mid-February holiday in commemoration of St. Valentine was still used by Roman men to seek the affection of women. It became a tradition for the men to give the ones they admired handwritten messages of affection, containing Valentine's name.

The first Valentine card grew out of this practice. The first true Valentine card was sent in 1415 by Charles, duke of Orleans, to his wife. He was imprisoned in the Tower of London at the time.

Cupid, another symbol of the holiday, became associated with it because he was the son of Venus, the Roman god of love and beauty. Cupid often appears on Valentine cards.

Choosing ME before WE...

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 20:42:00 +0000

There’s nothing wrong with choosing yourself in a relationship. In fact that’s exactly what you should do! Author and life coach Christine Arylo feels having a positive relationship with yourself is so important that she has written the new book Choosing Me Before We to put women on the right path. Arylo breaks it down for us on how to choose ME before WE with 3 principles:

KNOW ME

Live from the Inside Out

Know what you want from life, regardless of what anyone else wants or says.
Your life has to be about your dreams, passions and gifts first.
Only choose partners who help you achieve your goals and who inspire you to be your best you.
You’ve got to know who you are and live from that centered place all the time.
Without self-awareness, you’ll mold to fit your partner or your relationship, and no matter what you may tell yourself, you won’t be happy.
This is your life. Live it the way you want and find a partner who’s up for the ride.

Know What and Who You Want in A Partner and Why

Why do I want a relationship, as in how does it make my life better?
What kind of relationship do I really want at this time?
Who is the person I want to be in a relationship with, regardless of who my mate is today?

Fashion Astrology?

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 21:45:00 +0000

For centuries, humans have looked to the heavens for guidance. Astrology is, put simply, the study of the correlation between the astronomical positions of the planets and events on earth. Astrologers believe that the positions of the Sun, Moon, and planets at the time of a person's birth have a direct influence on that person's character. These positions are thought to affect a person's destiny, although many Astrologers feel that free will plays a large role in any individual's life.
Astrology, can be used as a powerful and fun tool for understanding ourselves, others, and the world around us. Many different tools, or languages, to define and understand our world. For example, we can use psychological tools and terminology to explore human behavior. Similarly, Astrology gives us rich tools for understanding human character, and offers us a language for communicating our observations with others.

While we can use the natal chart (also called a birth chart or horoscope) as a "window" into any individual or event, we should never use it to pass judgment or to label people. Neither should we use it as an excuse for our behavior! We can never purport to know absolutely everything about someone just because we have their natal chart before us. It is a good idea to approach Astrology as an imperfect language. Even if it were perfect, we are not, so our interpretations can never be considered anywhere close to perfect. It follows to be wary of anyone claiming to be an Astrologer who also alleges to "know all", or makes dire predictions. This kind of practice is not only irresponsible and misleading, it can affect the lives of those who believe them in adverse ways.
Fashion Astrology is a Western zodiac trend based program that describes the fashion profiles of the different sun signs. This program gives a better idea about the fashion styles of people under the different signs of the zodiac. Astrology acts as a guide by telling you more about what you prefer when it comes to dressing. It also makes good reading if you are thinking of buying clothes as a gift for someone.

Astrologer Jacqueline Cordeiro is our featured Goddess this month. She will gives tips on how to dress well and looks suggest, according to the profile of each sign and the position of the stars in the week in our blog every month.

The Top 10 Ways to Keep Passion in Your Relationship

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 21:54:00 +0000

All long-term relationships go through a variety of phases. There is the initial dating and courtship and infatuation period. If the relationship continues, it settles into a more stable time of building a history as a couple. If children enter the picture, that is a new phase. Later, there is another phase of being together as a mature couple with the wisdom of experience.

We all know that it is possible to keep passion, romance, excitement and sexual intensity alive through the years, but we also know that many relationships settle into a kind of friendly (or not so friendly) roommate situation. Every relationship has it's ups and downs, but there are tools that can keep passion perking right along. Here are 10 of them:

1. Be kind. I'm writing this on a cruise ship and it's fascinating to watch people grouch at their spouses, then turn around and share a friendly smile with a stranger. We tend to take family and best friends for granted. A smile, a wink, just a moment of kindness goes a long way.

2. Be attentive. Paying attention to the details of life is important. Pick up your own trash, and pick up for each other. Put things away, help each other with the small projects around the house. These things are the currency of love.

3. Be gracious. Small surprises can create huge rewards in a relationship. I think of it as the "Martha Stewart Effect". Taking a moment to put on a clean shirt before dinner, or using the good china, or cutting a flower from the garden and putting it on the table, are examples. All these things add color, spice, and graciousness to our lives.

4. Be patient. We all have bad days. It happens. When it happens to your spouse, be smart! Take the kids to the park for an hour, order Chinese take-out for dinner. Give him/her a break! This is the reality of life. Allow for it.

5. Be honest. Tell the truth about your feelings, and do it promptly and in a respectful, effective way. Share your disappointments and fears, but also share dreams, hopes, and gratitudes. Keeping secrets kills passion.

6. Be funny! Life seems to have supply its own stress and worry, but we have to provide the humor on our own. Share a joke, take time to tickle each other or rent a funny movie, and do it often. The couple that laughs together, often does other fun stuff together, too!

7. Be flexible. Over a lifetime, people change. Hopefully, your relationship will change and grow and mature with as you change. One of you will change careers, the other will change religions. One will have an illness, the other will make a mistake. Relationships either bend and flex with the winds of life, or they break.

8. Be generous. I've saved the best for last. After a survey of dozens of couples, the big 3 items that showed up over and over began with "give little gifts". Surprise each other with flowers, candy, a card, or other gift. Do it often. Do it for no particular reason. Do it because you love each other and thought it would be nice to show it with a gift.

9. Be available. The second of the "big 3" was "take time for each other". Schedule time to walk and talk, go for drives in the country, go to dinner and see a movie together. Dozens of couples ranked time together as the most critical component in keeping romance and passion alive.

10. Be physical. This is about sensuality perhaps more than sexuality. Couples talked about the importance of scents, of candles and flowers and walks on the beach. They talked about making love, but mostly they talked about back rubs and holding hands, and creating memories. They talked about getting dressed up and going out, and they talked about skinny-dipping. They talked about being playful and finding their own way. You can do this!

Someone has said, "Life is what happens while you were making other plans." Romance is about real life, not about dreams and fantasies of the perfect partner, someday on a Pacific island. Romance and passion are about taking time to enjoy the company of the person you love. Have fun. Do it today!

© Copyright 2003 by Philip E. Humbert. All Rights Reserved. This article may be copied and used in your own newsletter or on your website as long as you include the following information: "Written by Dr. Philip E. Humbert, writer, speaker and success coach. Dr. Humbert has over 300 free articles, tools and resources for your success, including a great newsletter! It's all on his website at: http://www.philiphumbert.com

10 Tips for Getting Your Work/Life in Balance

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 18:15:00 +0000

Here are 10 tips to help you achieve a better balance in your life. Take a moment to read and reflect on these tips -- and then get your life in balance!

Negotiate a Change with Your Current Employer. Progressive employers recognize the value of good employees, and many are willing to find ways to help current employees deal with short-term or permanent changes caused by family situations. The changes can include flextime, job-sharing, telecommuting, or part-time employment. Your first step is to research your employer's policies and methods of handling previous requests. Then go to your boss armed with information and a plan that shows how you will be an even more valuable and productive employee if you can modify your current work situation.

Find a New Career. Some careers are simply more stressful and time-consuming than others. If you need more time for yourself or your family, now may be the time to explore careers that are less stressful and more flexible.

Find a New Job. Rather than a career change, perhaps you simply need to take a less stressful job within your chosen career. This change may involve working with your current employer to identify a new position, it may involve a full job-search, or it may involve temping or becoming a consultant or starting a freelancing or other home-based business.

Slow Down. Life is simply too short, so don't let things pass you in a blur. Take steps to stop and enjoy the things and people around you. Schedule more time between meetings; don't make plans for every evening or weekend, and find some ways to distance yourself from the things that are causing you the most stress.

Learn to Better Manage Your Time. Avoid Procrastination. For many people, most of the stress they feel comes from simply being disorganized -- and procrastinating. Learn to set more realistic goals and deadlines -- and then stick to them. You'll find that not only are you less stressed, but your work will be better.

Share the Load. Even though we may sometimes feel we're the only ones capable of doing something, it's usually not the case. Get your partner or other family members to help you with all your personal/family responsibilities. Taking care of the household, children, or parents should not be the responsibility of just one person.

Let Things Go. (Don't Sweat the Small Stuff.) It's simpler said than done, but learn to let things go once in a while. So what if the dishes don't washed everyday or that the house doesn't get vacuumed every week. Learn to recognize the things that don't really have much impact in your life and allow yourself to let them go -- and then not beat yourself up for doing so.

Explore Your Options. Get Help. If you are feeling overwhelmed with your family responsibilities, please get help if you can afford it. Find a sitter for your children, explore options for aging parents, and seek counseling for yourself. In many cases, you have options, but you need to take the time to find them.

Take Charge. Set Priorities. Sometimes it's easier for us to allow ourselves to feel overwhelmed rather than taking charge and developing a prioritized list of things that need to get done. You need to buck the trend. Develop a list. Set priorities. And then enjoy the satisfaction of crossing things off your list.

Simplify. It seems human nature for just about everyone to take on too many tasks and responsibilities, to try to do too much, and to own too much. Find a way to simplify your life. Change your lifestyle. Learn to say no to requests for help. Get rid of the clutter and baggage in your house -- and your life.

In the end, the key word is balance. You need to find the right balance that works for you. Celebrate your successes and don't dwell on your failures. Life is a process, and so is striving for balance in your life.

Dr. Randall S. Hansen is founder of Quintessential Careers, one of the oldest and most comprehensive career development sites on the Web, as well CEO of EmpoweringSites.com. He is also founder of MyCollegeSuccessStory.com and EnhanceMyVocabulary.com. He is publisher of Quintessential Careers Press, including the Quintessential Careers electronic newsletter, QuintZine. Dr. Hansen is also a published author, with several books, chapters in books, and hundreds of articles. He's often quoted in the media and conducts empowering workshops around the country. Finally, Dr. Hansen is also an educator, having taught at the college level for more than 15 years. Visit his personal Website or reach him by email at randall(at)quintcareers.com.

Beyond Dieting: Alternative Approaches to Weight Loss

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 17:07:00 +0000

Beyond Dieting: Alternative Approaches to Weight Loss.
How acupuncture, hypnosis, meditation, prayer, and other mind-body practices may
help you lose weight. (Not that you need to...)

By Shahreen Abedin

WebMD FeatureReviewed by Laura J. Martin, MDTo lose weight, some people look beyond diet and
exercise. Would methods like hypnosis, acupuncture, meditation, prayer, and traditional Eastern methods
help budge the pounds?
Perhaps. But if you want to ditch diet and exercise altogether, think again.

“The bottom line is to be more active and consume less calories,” says Elisabetta Politi, MPH, RD, LDN, CDE, nutrition director at the Duke Diet and Fitness Center in Durham, N.C. “There is no magic bullet for solving your weight loss problem."
So the basics will always be eating right and exercising.
But there is a "third part, the mind-body aspect, you need to make sure you're not missing out on," says Wendy Kohatsu, MD, an integrative medicine specialist and assistant clinical professor of family and clinical medicine at the University of California, San Francisco.
Most complementary approaches don't have much research showing how well they work for weight loss. Some are tricky to test by Western standards, and not enough studies have been done to determine effectiveness.
Here's what you need to know before you consider trying these methods.
Acupuncture...

Stress, depression and the holidays: 10 tips for coping

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 02:30:00 +0000

By Mayo Clinic staff

The holiday season, which begins for most Americans with Thanksgiving and continues through New Year's Day, often brings unwelcome guests — stress and depression. And it's no wonder. In an effort to pull off a perfect holiday, you might find yourself facing a dizzying array of demands — parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name a few. So much for peace and joy, right?

Actually, with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress and depression that often accompany the holidays. You may even end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.

Recognize holiday triggers

Learn to recognize common holiday triggers, so you can disarm them before they lead to a meltdown:

Relationships. Relationships can cause turmoil, conflict or stress at any time, but tensions are often heightened during the holidays. Family misunderstandings and conflicts can intensify — especially if you're thrust together for several days. On the other hand, facing the holidays without a loved one can be tough and leave you feeling lonely and sad.
Finances. With the added expenses of gifts, travel, food and entertainment, the holidays can put a strain on your budget — and your peace of mind. Not to mention that overspending now can mean financial worries for months to come.
Physical demands. Even die-hard holiday enthusiasts may find that the extra shopping and socializing can leave them wiped out. Being exhausted increases your stress, creating a vicious cycle. Exercise and sleep — good antidotes for stress and fatigue — may take a back seat to chores and errands. To top it off, burning the wick at both ends makes you more susceptible to colds and other unwelcome guests.
Tips to prevent holiday stress and depression
When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.
1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
3. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videotapes.
4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression too.
5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
7. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
8. Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.
9. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
10. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.
Take control of the holidays
Don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the holidays. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you may find that you enjoy the holidays this year more than you thought you could.

“Lose the One-Date Blues”

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 20:28:00 +0000

We’ve all been there. You go on a date and it turns out spectacular. The mood is set, the connection is there…Nicholas Sparks couldn’t have written a more touching love story. But then…nothing! Mr. Would-Be Perfect doesn’t call you again, that creep! What gives? Before you drive yourself crazy with second-guesses, take a chemistry lesson with the Dating Coach.

Romance goddess Ronnie Ann Ryan, knows a thing or two about chemistry. Join her in our Dating with Ronnie section as she answers the age old question: “Why wasn’t there a second date?”

Relax!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 02:59:00 +0000

Just because it is not summer anymore doesn’t mean you can still relax. If anything life becomes even more
involved and demanding with kids going to school, work becoming more stressful and the
wonderful vacation just end. The lazy days of summer left us and have transformed into
the hectic days of work and the need to escape starts to preoccupy every crevice of your mind.

The key to staying beautiful at all times is being aware of your limitations and realizing when the time for rejuvenation and repair should occur. Some women consider it extravagant to solicit services from a spa or massage salon on a regular basis, but I say take advantage of your local day spa it is your duty as a woman to learn how to RELAX!

Most spas have couple specials, unique promotions and gift certificates. I like to think of it as maintenance vs. repair. Create yourself a schedule and if you like invite friends to those maintenance days – ie quick facials or chair/neck massages; invite your honey to an intimate to a couples’ massage and then set a day aside to truly repair and replenish the body with a day at the spa with a full list of services from mani/pedi, facial, body wraps and massages.

How to get a massage...

Divorce is a Journey...

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 16:11:00 +0000

Hear ye, hear ye! We are officially announcing our Featured Goddess for this month: Laura Campbell, founder of The D Spot. Frustrated by the lack of resources for women of divorce, she decided to make a difference. Through The D Spot and her coaching practice, Ms. Campbell dedicates her life to helping women get through every aspect of divorce.

Visit Bella Zadore's site to read Ms. Campbell’s full story. For more information about Laura Campbell, go to Laura Campbell Companies and The D Spot.

Make the most of your career with Hitomi

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 20:01:00 +0000

Looking for work? Trying to figure out how to survive once you find it?

That’s where Hitomi comes in. This Bella Zadore girl is a professional gymnast with a strong sense of adventure. She has had a wealth of job experiences and wants nothing more than to help you succeed in life, so she’s building our new Career section. This section will cover a variety of job-related topics for the career-minded woman. Job hunting strategies, salary negotiation, asking for a raise, dealing with annoying co-workers…you’ll find these topics and more in our upcoming Career section. Don’t be late!

T-Minus Nine Months and Counting

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 15:48:00 +0000

We are pleased to announce that Bella Zadore girl Vanessa has started her own section for all the mothers-to-be out there. Vanessa is very stunning, very pregnant, and very ready to share her experiences with you on this exciting journey. If you are with child or thinking about making the leap, head on over to our brand new Pregnancy section for all your prenatal needs. After you check out Vanessa’s personal blurb, be sure to check out “The Bump Guide.” This month, Vanessa teaches us the dos and don’ts of pregnancy (did you know you shouldn’t eat hot dogs?), so come by for some useful tips. Your baby will thank you.

Just Enjoy the Ride

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 16:02:00 +0000

Today, information travels faster than ever. But in a world where a person can send a message across the globe in an instant, it’s important to remember the value of strong interpersonal relationships.

In “Drive-Thru Dating,” dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan tells us that dating is one aspect of life that shouldn’t be rushed. Building a worthwhile relationship is something that takes time, no matter how fast the world has become. You may be able to buy movie tickets on your phone, but you probably won’t find your soul mate in a day. Listen to Ronnie: patience is key!

i See Bella...

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 18:45:00 +0000

Bella and the girls have joined the technologically cool revolution, bringing their fresh phrases and unique perspectives to iPhones and iTouchs everywhere. Show off with your free Bella wallpaper and check back monthly for new additions. We are debuting new phrases and images with our wallpapers so if you want to stay on the DIVA cutting edge see what iBella fits you best!

Ready Your Beach Body with Dr. Mark

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 16:42:00 +0000

It seems like only yesterday that we were digging our cars out of the snow, and already summer is almost here! Part of being a Goddess is being comfortable with yourself because, darling, you look stunning! That being said, if you’re looking to get in shape for bikini season, pair your exercise routine with a healthy diet from Dr. Mark. This month in Your Temple, Dr. Mark gives us some healthy food tips that will grant you head-turning allure. Check out “Streamlining for the Summer” for a list of foods that are known for boosting metabolism. The beach awaits!

“Meet May’s Local Heroine”

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Wed, 19 May 2010 16:04:00 +0000

Do you want to learn about how to give back to your community? Do you want to make a difference in a child’s life? Our May Featured Goddess, Tracy Johnson Russell is quite a role model when it comes to community leadership. She has dedicated her life to helping others, and she’s showing no signs of slowing down. In 2008, she co-founded Your Place Youth Center, a group designed to educate and engage young minds to keep them off of the streets. Stop by our Featured Goddess page to read Mrs. Johnson Russell’s bio for a little inspiration.

“Got a Bun in the Oven?”

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Tue, 11 May 2010 16:13:00 +0000

Are you pregnant or considering having a baby? Do you know someone who is? Or…do you just love babies in general? If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these questions, head over to our Pregnancy page by Vanessa. Our self-proclaimed “preg-Goddess” is here to assist her fellow mommies-to-be by sharing everything she’s learned on her pregcellent adventure (or “parous journey”). This month, she’s compiled a list of Do’s and Don’ts for women in, or looking to join the pudding club. Check back every month with Vanessa for tips, and don’t forget to hit up our forum to share your experiences.

Up, Up, and Away

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Mon, 10 May 2010 14:44:00 +0000

Feeling drained from the daily grind? Perhaps you need to supercharge your body. We’re all about empowerment, and that includes powering up your body. In this month’s Food Section, Bella Zadore’s resident chef Valencia shows us what to put in our bodies to get the most out of them. Check out “Power Food Knockout” for a list of superfoods that will make you feel like Wonder Woman in no time. Invisible Jet and Lasso of Truth not included.

(Also, swing by our Your Temple section for a Detox Diet to help your body get the most out of these superfoods.)

Be a Natural Beauty

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Fri, 07 May 2010 15:42:00 +0000

With winter long gone, your inner Goddess is screaming to get out and greet the world. Of course, you have to make sure you’re ready to make your debut! Shedding our winter layers means that our daily beautification routines have to reflect the warm season. Step numero uno: skin care. But what products do you use for the full effect?

Our body, mind, and soul expert Mara is here to the rescue. In this month’s Beauty section, Mara tells us how to get the most out of natural cosmetics you can be sure to put your “Best Face Forward.”

Spring Clean Your Body

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Wed, 05 May 2010 15:10:00 +0000

Spring cleaning can be hard work, but it can also be fun, therapeutic, and very rewarding. When you tackle spring cleaning this year, why not start with your body? Your Temple expert Dr. Mark suggests a Detox Diet that is guaranteed to make you feel like the goddess you are. Not only will you feel a million times better, but it’s a quick and HEALTHY way to shed some pounds in time for the summer. Read more about the doctor’s diet in “Clearing Out the Junk…” Your inner goddess will thank you!

Destination: Paradise

noreply@blogger.com (Bella Zadore News) — Tue, 04 May 2010 14:29:00 +0000

The daily pressures of being a goddess can be a bit much sometimes. Sometimes, we just need a vacation. Are you in need of some culture, adventure, or relaxation? Can’t decide on what far off locale would best satisfy your wanderlust? Just ask Jane, our travel enthusiast. Never content to stay in one spot, Jane has been all over the world, and she wants you to share the experience. On her page, “Experiences of an International Traveler”, Jane lets us in on some of her favorite destinations, and fun things to do once we’re there.