Bellringers

178th Carnival of Education

2008-07-02T06:22:00.003-05:00

The 178th Carnival of Education is out hosted over at (aspiring) Educator’s Blog.

Some of my favorite posts included Bill Ferriter over at the Tempered Radical on “Kids I’ve Failed…” Something I know all of us have wrestled with.

Now, despite the fact that young whippersnapper Scott Walker used the politically incorrect--and rather offensive--terminology “middle aged woman” in his post…sigh…OK, OK, OK offensive to us old fuddyduddies (gotta love that word)…Well, despite the fact that he used it not once, but twice… any post called, “The Tyranny of Technology” is definitely worth the read.

And then, of course, there was Darren’s post about a teacher who was suspended for allowing her students to read a particular book. Read about it over at the Right on the Left Coast.

And speaking of books, education blogging goddess Joanne Jacobs had a post that really saddened me about some books found in a dumpster.

There, of course, is lots more worth reading at the Carnival. So check it out so you know what’s buzzing around the EduSphere.

My post, thankfully was included (’cause you know I’ve got an ego the size of a rather large barn)…but you don’t have to go there to read it here. It’s got a catchy title and everything… “Audit Reports, Teacher In-Service & How Bozo Ended Up in Dante’s Circle of Hell.” Check it out.

Audit Reports, Teacher In-Service & How Bozo Ended Up in Dante’s Circle of Hell

2008-06-29T18:33:00.009-05:00

Ahh, the much ballyhooed (now, isn’t that a great word?) Dallas ISD $2 million audit report was finally released and no big shocker there.

According to an article in the Dallas Morning News, the report contained a long laundry list of reforms needed, but no indication of money stolen. The news article went on to say, though, that “the Texas comptroller’s office, the FBI and others have also reviewed the books and found serious areas of concern.”

I won’t bore you with all the details involved in that, but, of course, all of that got me to thinking about things like why I was grateful to be working where I work (sorry, Mr. Teacher), and it got me to remembering a time long, long ago, in a galaxy… oh my goodness Pizza Andy must be channeling through me…so forget the galaxy, but do make that a long, long time ago, when I actually was asked to teach at a professional development day for DISD. (Oh, pah-leese, no need to roll your eyes. It isn’t that much of a stretch, is it?)

So let me tell you my little story that I like to call…

How Bozo ended up in Dante’s Circle of Hell

My feet were as swollen as Bozo the clown’s feet, and I had a sneaking suspicion my hair didn’t look much better. It was Valentine’s Day, and for a number of reasons, it was a life-changing day. I was headed for Hillcrest High School in north Dallas zipping along North Central Expressway in my trusty blue mini-van.

I had taken the day off so I could teach an in-service for Dallas journalism teachers. I almost had turned it down given my penchant for in-service bashing, but I figured I could use the $400 and thought that, perhaps, just perhaps, I could actually impart some words of wisdom. So I stashed a bagful of newly created handouts and set out to discuss how to create a successful high school journalism program.

I called my session “Surviving Dante’s Inner Circle of Hell… how to create a successful high school journalism program and live to tell the tale…” or some such blustering.

My cleverness, as always, landed me in trouble.

When I arrived in my assigned portable building, there were a total of three—count ’em—three teachers attending my session. To make matters worse, they were all English teachers, not journalism teachers. None of them had read past “Surviving Dante” and believed we would actually discuss Dante’s Inferno. One teacher had even brought her own copy of the book.

At that point, I really believed I had entered the circle of hell. I was stuck for eight hours in a small room with three (did I mention three?) English teachers who were not even remotely interested in student publications much less the entire journalism program. Forget the Inferno, I had upgraded to Sartre’s No Exit.

I felt like the guy in the song “Alice’s Restaurant” with his “twenty-seven 8-by-10 glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one” and no one to show them to.

I had my 35 copies of my 14 specially created handouts to show eager new journalism advisers what had taken me more than a decade to discover. Instead, I had three beady-eyed, angry Advanced-Placement-type English teachers who were forced to sign up for an in-service class to garner enough mandatory hours to fulfill their teacher contracts when their peers were out buzzing around on Valentine’s Day eating chocolates with their honeys or shopping with their friends or sleeping late.

The experience was almost enough for me to swear that I would never again berate another in-service presenter if I could just survive that day. (Of course, that was too big of a promise for me to make.)

But overall, that experience did provide a level of clarity as to what my mother always called, “the state of education.” As with most professional development days, the topics tend to either be irrelevant or provided to those who have little or no use for them.

So you see, not only had I started that day looking like Bozo the Clown, I ended the day feeling, well, rather Bozo-ish as well.

177th Carnival of Education

2008-06-26T22:07:00.005-05:00

Oh my goodness… the Carnival of Education was out and I forgot to tell you about it! It’s hosted over at Where’s the Sun and it’s organized along one of my favorite themes…the boardwalk and the shoreline…It never gets any better than that. So-o-o-o make sure you bee-bop on over there for some good reads. My post “Self-Pity, Serendipity & Tootsie Rolls” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here. But when you’re done here, make sure you go there to see what’s all a-buzz in the EduSphere. You’ll be glad you did.

Self-pity, Serendipity & Tootsie Rolls

2008-06-24T09:28:00.006-05:00

Hideeho friends… So yes, I am a tad bit tardy in posting this week. I was out of town again attending to some family matters, but I am back now and aren’t y’all just thrilled to bits?

I confess that I have been just a bit worried about blogging with all my DIs (Darling Inspirations) out and about for the summer, but worry not, things (and by now you should know how I feel about things), well things just have a way of popping up.

For instance, briefly…OK, OK, OK, perhaps not briefly…it was more like a wallowing angst…I wallowed about, feeling sorry for myself and was rather out of sorts, when out of the blue (alrighty then, now we have two–count ’em TWO cliches, perhaps we should all revisit cliche finder and get it out of our system)…So back to the matter at hand…(OK, so make that cliche No. 3)…

Wallowing, angst, feeling sorry…when I received a random email from a former student of mine who served as news editor on the school newspaper and who just landed a job at the Dallas Morning News. Talk about serendipity (and don’t ya love that word?).

At any rate (does that count as #4?), her kind words immediately pulled me out of the “OMG how it sucks to be me because every day is like a bad hair day” funk. And, more importantly, she jogged some other memories I had forgotten about…memories like the tootsie roll chain which is like four to five times taller than she is and wider than I am.

And here’s the deal-eee-oh (cliche number five-o), that tootsie roll chain apparently happens to be serendipitous as well.

You see, Erika always loved tootsie rolls–eating mass quantities of them especially on deadline. She ate so many she started making a chain with the wrappers. That tootsie roll chain not only served as a stress meter of sorts, but also appeared to be rather cathartic as well. When she graduated from high school, she took the 20-foot-long chain with her.

Flash forward to her new job at the DMN…She noticed there were some ladies who were tootsie roll aficionados so she hauled her tootsie roll chain up there. Apparently after they got over the oddness of the chain, Erika reports the link actually made the tootsie roll ladies feel better.

“Now,” Erikia said, “they don’t feel so bad for eating so many.”

So you see, my friends, two seemingly innocuous things––a random email and gajillion long tootsie roll chain––had the power to spread joy and happiness. Now, I know all that probably doesn’t qualify for any sort of Pay it Forward hoopdedoo, but hey, let’s grab what we can––even if it’s only a tootsie roll.

Carnival of Education

2008-06-18T16:11:00.004-05:00

Hideeho readers…the Carnival of Education is up and running. Check out what’s going on the EduSphere by going over to Pass The Torch, but before you beebop over there, make sure you check out my stuff here by reading my latest post “The Simple Life, Tasty Shrimp & Warning Flags.”

The Simple Life, Tasty Shrimp & Warning Flags

2008-06-17T19:15:00.012-05:00

I’m sure everyone missed me something terrible while I sat on the warm sands, listening to the soothing waves of the Gulf of Mexico while actually reading from the stack of books I’ve been accumulating all year long.

I sure hated to leave the Island (South Padre Island for you non-native types). I love living a life where the only major decision is whether to boil the fresh shrimp or cook them Barefoot Contessa style and the only crisis centers around who used up all the SPF 45 sunscreen leaving only a can of 30 SPF.

Ah, if life were so simple throughout the school year.

I also love the kind of life where you can peak out from your fifth floor balcony and get a heads up on what kind of day you’ll encounter just by gazing on either side to see what color flag is flying… Red for dangerous currents, Yellow for calm to moderate waters (although there’s this clever little notation that just because the waters are calm “does not mean safe water”--Jeez Louise). And, the last one and my least favorite one–Blue for “venemous marine life.”

Now even though I promised myself not to think too much on this trip, all that flag flapping got me to thinking--I know, I know, not necessarily a good thing--but nonetheless, I got to thinking about how maybe, just maybe, I should create and implement my own Flag Advisory System. You know, just to give the kiddos a heads-up on the kind of day in store for them. Besides, I think it would fit in rather nicely with my Code K warning system. So here’s my idea, let me know yours.

The Richie Flag Advisory System

Red Flag…Unless your hair is on fire, you best just sit down and hope for the best. This is a don’t-mess-with-me-day-or-we-may-just-pull-your- liver-out-your-nose kind of day.

Yellow Flag…Things are about as “normal” as they possibly can be, but just like at the beach, calm and normal doesn’t necessarily guarantee safe.

Blue Flag…We’re all feeling a bit snarky in here. Be prepared for sharp-witted and possibly stinking remarks.

I have a bad feeling, though, that the red and blue flags will fly repeatedly and probably simultaneously.

175th Carnival of Education

2008-06-17T19:03:00.004-05:00

The 175th Carnival of Education (with a rockin’ game show theme) has been up and running for quite a while over at Mr. Teacher’s site Learn Me Good. You should really head on over there to see all the great stuff going on the EduSphere. I, of course, am frantically trying to play catch up after a week unplugged on the marvelously, fab-u-lous South Padre Island. My submission “Empty Parking Lots, the Last Teacher Standing & a Rebel Yell” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here. But if you want to be in the know, go on over there and see what’s buzzin’.

Empty Parking Lots, the Last Teacher Standing & a Rebel Yell

2008-06-08T19:00:00.003-05:00

“I stood on my heart supports thinkin’
‘Oh my God, I’ll probably have to carry this whole load.’
I couldn’t remember if I tried
I couldn’t remember if I took my brain out, threw it so directly at the goal
I couldn’t remember if I...
I could have my mind erased
And still not know exactly what I don’t already know…”
--“Florida” by Modest Mouse

On Friday, as I climbed into my fab-u-lous Nissan Z Roadster. OK, OK, OK, so it’s not anything close to a roadster or sporty…well, OK, it’s my trusty mini-van… I know, I know, I know, it’s all pathetically rather soccer mom-ish from back in the day when my kiddos played, you know, soccer… but, again, I digress… let’s start this whole shebang again… (don’t ya just love the word “shebang”?)…rewinding… here we go…

On Friday, as I climbed into my trusty mini-van and surveyed the parking lot, I noticed that I was the last one leaving on the last teacher work day of the 2007-2008 school year.

I should have realized I would be the last teacher standing.

The signs were everywhere. Perhaps the darkened hallways should have tipped me off. Or, when I zipped speedy quick down those hallways and into the teacher mailroom and had to feel my way to find the light switch so I could find the other switch to turn the copier back on because I still had contest entries to mail--perhaps that should have been the tip off…Or maybe it should have been the fact that I could belt out Aretha Franklin at the top of my lungs and nary a soul was here, there or anywhere to witness or wince.

Now before you start thinking I’m Ms. Slacker Extraordinare, know that I did manage to get all the official stuff done–grades turned in, books scanned, computers turned off, furniture inventoried, purchased orders filled out and so forth and so on--you know all those things that make your head explode. All done shortly after 12:30 p.m. Not bad.

But sadly, my friends, while others were screeching out of the parking lot screaming “free at last! Free at last! Schools out for summer!” at the top of their lungs, I still had all that other stuff to do…like get things ready for the summer journalism workshop (yes, I’m spending five fun-filled days and four stress-filled nights with 30 or so publications staffers in July), and of course, there were those pesky journalism contest entries that had to be readied in order to meet the pending mid-June deadline…

It was shortly after 5 p.m. before I could proclaim that I was as close to done as I would ever be. So after making sure the rubber chicken had been packed with all the important workshop stuff, I gave a defiant glare at my still unorganized desk, locked the door and loaded up my van.

My reward for surviving yet another year? Why my annual trek to the beach where I will be incommunicado--no email checking, no answering phones, no text messaging, no blogging, no posting, no nothing. Nadda. Zilch. Zip. No siree, it’s just me, my family, a stack of good books, some chips and salsa, and all the gulf shrimp I can eat.

So-o-o-o with a rebel yell, I screeched out of the parking lot able to chalk up one more year in the success column because, after all, I made it without once setting my hair on fire.

It doesn’t get much better than that.

174 Carnival of Education

2008-06-04T17:10:00.008-05:00

Woo-hoo! The 174 Carnival of Education is out and hosted by our buddies over at the Education Wonks. Not sure what evil befell the Education Wonks–something about some “disastrous technical troubles,” but I bet they don’t know Jack. (You remember Jack, don’t you? If not, then make sure you go here.)

Anywho, my submission “Train Wrecks, Dr. Laura & Throwing Tinkerbell Under the Bus” was included as well as lots of other interesting things across the EduSphere. But you don’t have to go there, to read that here.

While there’s lots of good stuff to peruse, I was particularly fond of Joanne Jacob’s post on Billy Joel, history teacher, and NYC educator’s comments on lying teenagers. The Scholastic Scribe’s post on internet security in her district was interesting although I personally preferred an earlier senior prank post (but that’s just my twisted sense of humor). Oh, and keeping with humor, you’ll definitely want to see what Mr. Teacher has to say in his post “Don’t Space Me, Bro.”

And, of course, there’s lots of other good stuff… so head on over there, just make sure you come back here.

Train Wrecks, Dr. Laura & Throwing Tinkerbell Under the Bus

2008-06-01T16:00:00.000-05:00

T-minus 5-4-3-2-1… Ta-da… another school year almost ended… just a few more days left and I am free at last… but before the prospect of summer consumes me, we must address and clarify a few things. I know in some twisted, warped way, you’re dying to know how the entire yearbook distribution thing worked out. It’s like watching a train wreck in slow-mo. You say you don’t want to watch, but you do. You don’t want to know, but I betcha I can catch you taking a sneaky peak.

It’s the reason why I like to listen to such shows as Dr. Laura. While it may suck to be me on any particular day, it sure sucks more to be them… In some twisted way, I find comfort in that. So let’s clear up a few misconceptions…

The Publishing Fairies & the Journalism gods
Typo-seeking Tinkerbell does not live in the publications room waiving her cute little fairy wand banishing all mistakes. If she did, I’d wring her little neck for falling down on the job and publicly sacrifice her to the journalism gods.

But whoa Nellie, before we willy-nilly go throwing poor Tinkerbell under the bus, let’s focus on the fact that with 264 pages, more than 3,000 photographs, 100,000 plus gajillion words and well over 2,000 names something somewhere will be wrong.

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

There I feel better.

Oh, dear me, according to my VP of Humor Control, I’m starting to sound, well, a bit bitter and, well, “negative.”

OK, OK, OK… Let’s take a positive look-see at all of this. I think we got about 99 percent right. After all, we really only had two complaints and we did sell out of all our extra books in a record two and half hours. I know that doesn’t make the 1 percenters feel any better. All I can do is say I’m sorry that we were/are such big, fat stupidheads (and, yes, I suppose that does stop the Stupidhead Clock on the right).

And perhaps next time, I’ll suggest that they listen to Dr. Laura, too.

Sad Sacks & Snakebites
OK, OK, OK, I admit it. I spent most of last week feeling sorry for myself and yelling at anyone and everyone who would listen. The staffers just sighed and did what they do best--ignore me--while I continually mumbled how children suck the life right out of you.

And, then the really, really, really (did I say really?) absolutely fab-u-lously nice art teacher who is next to my classroom came to school with her arm in a sling and her hand swollen three times its normal size.

Snake bite.

As in Copperhead… as in poisonous snake.

Suddenly sorting all those yearbooks and listening to the naysayers wasn’t so bad after all, ya know what I mean?

And then my BFF from the east coast called telling my something about how there were goats in her school parking lot and how she had to grab them by the horns and try to toss them back over the fence. Jeez.

Uh-oh gotta go… I think it’s time to listen to Dr. Laura.

173rd Carnival of Education

2008-05-28T05:30:00.005-05:00

Today’s the day (Wednesday)… and not just the day for handing out yearbooks… The 173rd Carnival of Education is out and hosted by Mrs. Bluebird. As always, it’s a smorgasbord of all the goings on in the EduSphere. Lots of good stuff. My post on “Spellings Bees, Yearbook Fumes & Livin’ Large” made the cut, but you don’t have to go there to read it here.

Once--or should I say IF--I get through yearbook distribution today, I’ll try to list some of my favorite reads over at the carnival. Until then, hop on over there and read a post or two or three.

Spelling Bees, Yearbook Fumes & Livin’ Large

2008-05-23T22:00:00.001-05:00

As we speedy quick approach the end of the school year, I glanced through my half-finished, half-baked drafts of posts I started but got sidetracked and didn’t complete. (Kind of like all those lists I keep starting and losing and starting). So I’ve pieced together a montage for you to peruse. Hopefully, one of these little tidbits will spark a smile or two at a time of the year when things are so hectic.

Newspaper Deadlines & the Synchronized Spelling Bees

A conversation during our final newspaper deadline…

Me… “Hey, quick, someone spell ‘competition’ for me. It just doesn’t look right.”

Pizza Andy & Jessica simultaneously & in perfect harmony… “Competition. C-O-M-P-E-T-I-T-I-O-N. Competition.”

One of them… “Hey, wouldn’t it be great if they had a synchronized spelling bee contest? You know, like synchronized swimming?”

Me… “What?”

Pizza Andy & Jessica simultaneously and in perfect harmony… “Booger. B-O-O-G-E-R. Booger.”

Me & My Newspaper Editor Katelyn… simultaneously and in perfect harmony rolling our eyes.

Yearbook update…

So-o-o-o my 1,200 plus yearbooks arrived right on time––all 70+some gazillion boxes packed full of student greatness. I spent the entire week sorting them and threatening children. (I think the print fumes got to me.)

I even snapped at my unbelievably fab-u-lous newspaper editor Katelyn. I don’t think I’ve ever snapped at her. Yelled at, maybe, but snapped at? I don’t think so. Sigh. Print fumes.

We had only one little glitch where some guy or gal manning the presses didn’t quite get the trimline right so the printer instructions remained along the bottom of the page in some of the books. I told my amazing yearbook rep that it wouldn’t have bothered me… except it was Page 1… you know, the title page… and well, the printer instructions also said, “DESTROY.”

Let’s synchronize spell that…all together now…simultaneously and in perfect harmony…

“Destroy. D-E-S-T-R-O-Y. Destroy.”

Not exactly the kind of message one wants one to have when one opens one’s yearbook.

Well, needless to say, the problem got fixed speedy quick, but all that got me to thinking (never a good thing), and I suggested to my rep that maybe those little printer instructions should be written in some sort of code so that if it happens again, it won’t matter--especially if it says things like…

Give Richie a raise
This yearbook is fab-u-lous
Richie is the best adviser ever
What a rockin’ yearbook!
Not It!
Send lawyers, guns and money…

No wait… we probably ought to leave that last one out.

My California Trip & Livin’ Large

OK, OK, OK so I know I didn’t have to fly the 1400 or so miles to California to be living large. (Actually all I have to do is turn around and see my backside.) Nevertheless, most of you know that I recently went to the west coast for a few fun-filled days celebrating the turning 50 milestone for my two BFFs. (My third BFF was stuck on the east coast mumbling something about having to administer AP tests. Sheesh.)

At any rate, we had a fab-u-lous time pretending to be rich old ladies at the spa on the beach at Monterey and then later knocking around San Francisco. I decided that my overall disposition would improve exponentially if only I could begin each and every day with a walk on this beach…

…and, of course, have an hour massage.

One final note… I traveled first class, and on the way back, I sipped my complimentary Mimosa and played with the controls on my nifty seat that adjusted everywhere…legs, back, head. Heck, I could even recline to a sleeping position if I were so inclined.

But I’m sad to report I was afraid to because, as I said before, I started messing with all those controls (and you were expecting more of me? Oh, come now), and somehow I managed to get my legs too high and the back of my seat so askew that I had to put my nifty sanitized little airline pillow behind me.

And speaking of sanitized pillows, I even had my own sanitized blanket (shrink-wrapped in plastic no less) assuring me that no germs lived there. No Siree buddy, all those germs were in the back of the plane jumping around on those non-sanitized, unwrapped red blankets. You know the ones I’m talkin’ about. Can I get an “Amen” brothers and sisters?

Who knew flying first class was so much fun?

Now, least you think that my school district pays me way too much in my little southern suburb south of the big D, rest assured that this little flight cost me all my airline mileage points. Points racked up–not because I’m a jet set traveler–but because of the year’s worth of groceries I ate and charged to my credit card in order to get those airline miles. It’s no wonder I have a livin’ large backside.

Oh yeah, baby, I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous… no wait, that’s Brittany Spears

********

OK, so enough of that nonsense…Here’s looking forward to summer.

Let’s synchronize spell that…all together now…simultaneously and in perfect harmony…

summer…S–U–M–M–E–R…summer

172 Carnival of Education

2008-05-21T11:35:00.004-05:00

The 172 Carnival of Education, hosted by Teacher in a Strange Land, is out. You can go there to see what’s buzzing around in the EduSphere. Since I am up to my elbows in sorting my 1200 yearbooks for distribution, you’ll just have to go there yourself and see what interests you. My submission, “Spring Yearbooks, the 6 o’clock News and Not It,” was included. But you don’t have to go there, to read it here.

Spring Yearbooks, the 6 o’clock News & Not It

2008-05-18T11:43:00.016-05:00

You would think that after completing our last newspaper deadline, I could breathe a sigh of relief, kick my shoes off, sit on the couch, eat some bon-bons and watch mindless television.

Instead, I live in fear.

It’s May.

And, that means only one thing…

Yearbook delivery for spring yearbooks--and newscasters regaling yearbook disasters and mishaps across the country with live news reports at 5 o’clock, 6 o’clock and 10 o’clock. And, of course, just in case you missed it, stories posted at nano-speed across the internet.

It’s enough to make your head spin around faster than Linda Blair in the Exorcist.

“NOT IT, NOT IT, NOT IT!” I find myself screaming (like my students often do when I ask someone to do something), hoping that that little mantra will somehow save me from a yearbook catastrophe.

Every year it’s always something, somewhere. One high school located nearby was IT for two consecutive years--once for some inappropriate ad copy and once for inappropriate placeholder text. Other yearbook advisers have been chastised for allowing inappropriate content and/or photographs. Of course, that’s just the stuff that makes the news.

So far in my area this year, McKinney High School got to be IT and not in a very fun way with almost 600 of its yearbook photos altered by the photography company--with girls’ heads over there on boys’ bodies and boys’ heads on girls’ bodies and necks stretched, arms missing and outfits altered--all like a bad version of Scarecrow Gone Wild in the Wizard of Oz (“First they took my legs off and they threw them over there! Then they took my chest out and they threw it over there!”)

I’m still a bit foggy as to how almost 600 photos get altered and no one in the production/proof process notices it. Scary, huh? It certainly scares the bejeebers out of me.

Here’s a few tips I have for keeping under the radar and off the 6 o’clock news…

Richie’s Tips For Staying Out Of The News

Tip #5…
Anytime a staffer thinks it’s a great idea to put some sort of background as a graphic element to a page, warning bells should ring (and not the Bells of St. Mary’s either). Read all words and look at the background with a magnifying glass. They’re counting on your poor, aging eye sight or lack of street sense to run something by you…And it’s exactly the kind of thing that belongs in my “Things That Will Get You Fired” folder. (You know, the one located in my right hand desk drawer.)

Tip #4…
Beware of drop caps or big Initial letters. They probably spell something (and not a very Good something either). For instance, A student oftentimes Tries to write Something They Usually find Pretty funny but Inappropriate. Your Principal, of course, will fail to Have any sense of humor regarding this matter. Everyone, of course, will blame you, And want to Deliver and sacrifice you to the journalism gods.

Tip #3…
Avoid slang wherever possible… unless of course, urbandictionary.com is your new BFF, but that would mean that you would have to be able to access it. Otherwise, I can guarantee that your day will be worse than a really bad fuel day.

Tip #2…
When proofing pages, always read all names out loud to avoid the inclusion of bogus names that phonetically sound like bad words when combined with regular names. I’ll just give you one example–and only partially, after all, this is a PG site–that happened to a veteran adviser friend of mine years ago–Meoffe. Enough said.

And finally, drum roll-pah-leese, my No. 1 recommendation is…

Tip #1…
Remind your staffers that when they’re proofing pages if they notice someone’s arm missing or a guy’s head on a girl’s body, well, they just might want to say something to someone.

In the meantime…

NOT IT! NOT IT! NOT IT!

171st Carnival of Education

2008-05-14T11:35:00.005-05:00

The 171st Carnival of Education is up. You can check it out by going there. There’s a lot of good stuff for you to peruse if you choose and want to know what’s buzzing around the EduSphere.

Andy Warhol, My Pink Dress & MTV

2008-05-11T19:10:00.002-05:00

Ever since Andy Warhol made his comment about 15 minutes of fame, people spend their lives grasping for that moment.

Me? Well, I run the other way. (OK so maybe I wouldn’t if Ed McMahon appeared at my front door and I probably wouldn’t skedaddle if Stacy and Clinton came waving that $5,000 Visa card to go shopping in the Big Apple—although I would hide my comfy clothes and that pink dress of mine.)

So you’re probably wondering what Andy Warhol and that dress have to do with anything. Well, a few months ago an email circulated from MTV producers offering newspaper staffs the thrill of applying for the second season of the music network’s new reality show aptly entitled, “The Paper.”

I made the mistake of wondering out loud about it. “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, MTV, blah, blah, blah,” I said.

The word “MTV” sure got their attention.

The kids begged.

“No,” I said.

The kids cajoled.

“Absolutely not,” I said.

The kids whined.

I wavered not.

I envisioned my 15 minutes involving my pink dress and a bad hair day.

Picture this…

Here’s me on deadline asking, “Did you wake up this morning and say to yourself, ‘Ohhhh, I think I want to be mediocre today?’ Did ya? No? Well, ya better go rewrite that story then.”

Over there would be an editor yelling something about stupidheads–big fat ones at that.

And someone else in the room would definitely be out of dress code—a heinous crime for the nine gajillion viewers times one supervising appraiser to see. (My appraiser, of course.)

And, the room? Well, you probably can guess what that looks like. Jeez Louise.

So I put that email in my “Things That Will Get You Fired” folder located in my bottom right-hand drawer and wondered what’s next? –A reality show called “The Yearbook”?

Psssst… I won’t tell the yearbook staffers if you don’t.

170th Carnival of Education

2008-05-07T05:18:00.002-05:00

Last week was our big test-taking TAKS week here in the Lone Star state, but wouldn’t you know it there was lots of buzz throughout the EduSphere over tests, cheating and testy teachers.

Lucky me, I got to babysit part of the time and then administer the test the other two days. I’d tell you about it, but this stuff is so supersecret even CIA supersleuthes can’t crack it, and if I divulged any of this, well, I’d have to pull your liver out your nose.

So since the world appears to be in a test-taking frenzy, let’s just go with the flow here and use the test-takers motif. (And, for those non-literary types, I semi-sort of have a serious alliteration thing going, too. See how easily amused I am? Oh, and yes, I ripped the test idea from Mr. Teacher’s last week’s post “Are You More Cynical Than A Third Grader.”)

OK, OK, OK, let’s cut out the shenanigans and seriously get this shebang underway.

Directions: Read each question carefully and select the response that best answers the question.

Questions that fall (loosey goosey)
in the political/religious/philosophical semi-serious musing category

1. Who decided to weigh in on the Carl Chew Controversy and brouhaha over Chew’s refusal to administer a standardized test?
a. Kinky Friedman
b. Larry Ferlazzo
c. Brouhaha? What’s a Brouhaha?!
d. Do you have a No. 2 pencil?

2. Attorney John Phillips offers his advice on…
(a) Teachers Gone Wild
(b) Mr. Teacher’s t-shirt sales
(c) Why Bellringers shouldn’t whack children with her rubber chicken
(d) Can I go to the bathroom?

3. Joanne Jacobs tells us about a successful San Diego school who implemented…
(a) the Webster Way
(b) My Way or the Highway
(c) What way?
(d) Can I sharpen my pencil?

4. On the political front, Matthew Tabor takes a peek at the Detroit City Council and the exchange between
(a) 8th grader Kierra Bell and Detroit City Council President pro tem Monica Conyers
(b) Shriek and Princess Fiona
(c) Can we write on the test?
(d) none of the above

5. The Columbus Education Association will commemorate the 25th anniversary of what event with a series of guest blogs:
(a) The Time Warp
(b) A Nation At Risk
(c) Did I mention I needed a pencil?
(d) None of the above

6. In case you forgot, this week is Teacher Appreciation week and in case you forgot why you teach, maybe you should…
(a) Eat an apple
(b) Read J.M. Holland’s “to the art of teaching”
(c) Sing Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out” (sorry, couldn’t resist)
(d) Get matching tattoos with the teacher next door

7. According to I Want To Teach Forever, here’s what teachers really want for Teacher Appreciation Week…
(a) a new job
(b) more professional development/teacher inservice (yeah, right)
(c) summer
(d) this stuff

8. If a=b and c=z and Led Zeppelin sings “Stairway to Heaven," then why is Andrew so grumpy?
(a) Who’s Led Zeppelin?
(b) bx=170
(c) rubbish (just because it’s fun to say, sorry, Andrew)
(d) because if you had to listen to this conversation about God, you would be too.

9. Who ends up working for free?
(a) Tween Teacher
(b) All teachers
(c) No teachers
(d) A & B

10. Who ends up serving at the pleasure of administrators?
(a) Why we all do, silly.
(b) Ms. Cornelius
(c) Alice Cooper
(d) Loosey-goosey?

11. Who went to the Concerned Educators Against Forced Unionism conference?
(a) Alice Cooper
(b) Darren from Right on the Left Coast
(c) Loosey-goosey
(d) Willy-Nilly

12. The Eduwonkette takes a gander at the “New Teacher Project Report” and decides…
(a) You better read the fine print
(b) You better learn Mandarin Chinese
(c) Jeez Louise
(d) Where’s my pencil?

13. Bill Ferriter over at the Tempered Radical picks up the discussion over retaining good teachers in the classroom through…
(a) Teacher appreciation gifts & chocolate
(b) An Alice Cooper sing-a-long
(c) Something Loosey-Goosey
(d) re-designing compensation

14. And, Going to the Mat, opens this can of worms by talking about…
(a) Boat charters
(b) Map charters
(c) Charter Schools
(d) Charter buses

Questions that fall (rather willy-nilly)
in the inside the classroom genre

15. And speaking of Mr. Teacher, this week he delves into
(a) promoting his book
(b) promoting his t-shirts
(c) responsibility
(d) all of the above

16. According to NYC Educator (who btw hopes you disagree), what is the best to teach…
(a) Penguins
(b) ESL
(c) Willy-Nilly
(d) A & C

17. Jim McGuire at the Reading Workshop asks what interesting question…
(a) Who am I and why am I here?
(b) Can I sharpen my pencil?
(c) Are texting, IM’ing, MySpace, Facebook, blogging and email ruining the next generation of writers, or will they make them the best ever?
(d) Just how many t-shirts has Mr. Teacher sold and why hasn’t he sent me one?

18. Should the Scholastic Scribe slap some serious punishment on little Miss Sophomore for
(a)putting on make up in class
(b) using words off the Yuck list
(c) attempting to cheat
(d) Who me? I wasn’t talkin’ Miss.

19. Need some pointers on how to how to teach speaking, then
(a) Eat some chocolate (sorry I was hungry)
(b) Go see Eric at Teachers Call
(c) Miss, why can’t we talk?
(d) Where’s Willy and why is he nilly?

20. How is logic like whiskey?
(a) You can set them both on fire.
(b) Ask Humpty Dumpty
(c) Check out Let’s Play Math
(d) 1+1x2x1 gajillion

21. If you need some info on open source tools math, then you should
(a) Check out Teaching College math
(b)Run away before your head explodes
(c)Can you give me another eraser?
(d) x+yamisostupid

22. And keeping with the math and I’m-so-stupid theme, I included IB a Math Teacher’s math bingo because…
(a) I pretend to know math
(b) I pretend to like math
(c) I pretend to understand math humor
(d) all of the above

23. Did the Middle School Monkeys survive the China experiment?
(a) yes, but barely
(b) where’s China?
(c) No one told me I had to learn geography
(d) Where’s the rubber chicken?

24. What is the purpose of going to school?
(a) to drive your teacher crazy
(b) to borrow as many #2 pencils as possible
(c) to get an education
(d) to learn to…

25. Who am I, why am I here and can I really remember 90 percent of what I’ve taught?
(a) maybe
(b) not sure
(c) what was the question?
(d) See what Mathew Needleman has to say

26. According to Ms. M, the lunches in Mississippi are…
(a) so delicious & fan-tab-u-lous
(b) mediocre
(c) rather disgusting
(d) lunch? did someone mention lunch?

27. The Science Goddess…
(a) finally “gets it” when it comes to technology
(b) encourages a revolution of sorts
(c) A & B
(d) Whoa, what about that lunch thing?

28. Clix over at Epic Adventures Are Often Uncomfortable…
(a) had such an easy week she sat around and ate bon-bons
(b) had such a difficult week that me-myself-and-I actually felt sorry for her
(c) wants to know where the appreciation is in Teacher Appreciation
(d) Jeez Louise

29. Homeschooler Missy talks about…
(a) witnessing history
(b) life in the middle
(c) the importance of witnessing her children’s milestones
(d) all of the above

Well, Jeez Louise, I’m about red-eyed and just about cross-eyed from reading a gajillion submissions this time. I hope you did well on this little test, and if not, well, just blame a teacher…and next time make sure they teach to the test.

Now don’t forget to send next week’s submissions to the Education Carnival which will be hosted by Instructify. You can use this handy, dandy form.

And as usual…

“I’ve got this feeling that there’s something that I missed…”

–Snow Patrol

And, if I did, my apologies. Until next time…

Blame it on the teacher… Mister Teacher that is…

2008-05-05T14:38:00.000-05:00

Of course, by all means, let’s blame it on the teacher–Mister Teacher that is for starting this meme and who tagged Edna Lee who then tagged me. I wasn’t going to play, but I didn’t want to fall out of grace with my new friend Edna Lee or get on Mister Teacher’s bad list (Did I mention he started this whole thing).

I’d hate to get “doesn’t play well with others” in my permanent file. Or worse yet, I didn’t want to have to add Edna Lee and Mister Teacher to the “Richie’s Haters Club,” and yes, I’m convinced there is a such a thing. I think there are five charter members and one who sort of waivers in and out.

And I thought to know me was to love me. Sigh.

Well, let’s get this show on the road…or at least on the path…

First things first:

The Rules…

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.

2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.

3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

Questions…

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?

I was teaching at another school district advising the newspaper and teaching photojournalism (at that time running a black & white lab) and a Journalism I class. I loved it there, but left three years ago after causing and brouhaha and picking my hill to die on. And yes, it was worth it because it was the right thing to do. You can read about that here if you like.

2. What are my 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):

Go to the post office
Work on the education carnival
Write my substitute instruction (because I am headed to California on Thursday for F-U-N… Yippee!)
Find my last to-do list
Go out for Mexican food tonight in celebration of Cinco de Mayo.

3. Snacks I enjoy…

Ginger snaps & green tea
Popcorn with Virgil’s root beer (the absolute best on the planet)
Anything remotely resembling hor d’oeuvres.

4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire

Hire a personal trainer, masseuse and hair dresser who would be available 24/7
Hire someone to clean my house.
Buy a house on the beach at South Padre Island in the fab-u-lous Lone Star state and a house in Crested Butte, Colorado
Give more money to the Student Press Law Center & the Padre Pio foundation

5. Three of my bad habits:

Lack of patience
Eating too much
Holding grudges

6. 5 places I have lived:

San Antonio, TX
Fort Worth, TX
Amarillo, TX
Dallas, TX
West Springfield, Virginia

7. 5 jobs I have had:

Babysitter
Life Guard
Pool Manager
Reporter
Teacher

8. 5 people I want to know more about…but who probably won’t respond…

Clix at Epic Adventures Are Often Uncomfortable because she also is a yearbook adviser, and oh, how I feel her pain.

Tim Stahmer over at Assorted Stuff because his was one of the first blogs I ever read. I hope to someday make his list of a few good educators.

Joanne Jacobs because she is the Queen of the EduSphere. Who hasn’t heard of her? What doesn’t she know? I’d like to have a latte with her and discuss stuff.

The Scholastic Scribe because we just recently started corresponding and not only is she another high school journalism teacher, but she’s the high school journalism teacher at the high school I graduated from. Now, what are the odds of that? A gajillion to one? Now isn’t that all just too serendipitous?

Old Andrew at Scenes from the Battleground because he can say things like “rubbish” and it’s a bit comforting (as well as disconcerting) that he faces similar challenges as an educator even though he’s an ocean away.

Well, that’s it…Gotta go and work on my to-do list… if I could just find it…

Calling all entries!

2008-05-01T21:29:00.004-05:00

Get ready folks, the 170th Carnival of Education will be hosted right here on Wednesday, May 7 if all is right with the world and my buddy Jack doesn’t interfer.

Please send your submissions no later than 6 p.m. (that’s CST) on Tuesday, May 6. Now, remember, us journalism types are strict about deadlines so don’t be late. (I’d sure hate to get the flying monkeys out, but you know I will.)

Use this handy, dandy form or you can email your submission to mybellringers@gmail.com.

169th Carnival of Education

2008-04-30T07:59:00.004-05:00

A field trip! Who doesn’t love field trips? Come on, get on the bus!

The 169th Carnival of Education , hosted by the Science Goddess at What It’s Like On the Inside, takes a field trip through the EduSphere. My entry, “Wild Teachers, Social Networking Sites & Dumb People,” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here. Darren from Right on the Left Coast also weighs in on the topic I address, but from a different perspective if you want to take a peek. That’s about all I got because, after all, it’s TAKS week and quite frankly I’m a bit taxed.

Wild Teachers, Social Networking Sites & Dumb People

2008-04-28T20:18:00.007-05:00

Well, it happened again.

And, of course, the Washington Post duly reported it.

I suppose it was just too tantalizing to let it go.

Even the headline “When Young Teachers Go Wild on the Web,” guarantees readers. That story (which btw is worth reading) just makes me wonder.

According to the article, one high school art teacher was fired for painting canvasses with his rear end which he videoed on YouTube for posterity. (No wonder I can’t access YouTube at school. Who knew?)

Then there’s the substitute teacher who exposes herself in photos on her social networking site, another teacher who uses politically incorrect language regarding special education students, and other teachers who just use nasty language.

Some of this stuff should be inappropriate for any job venue.

I’m just wondering where these yahoos work. I glanced up and down my hallway and I can say with 100 percent certainty that our art teachers wouldn’t paint anything with their behinds–unless, of course, they accidentally backed into some wet paint.

And while we might have a few odd substitute teachers running around at any given time, I’m fairly certain that probably the most they’ve ever flashed someone might have been a peace sign back in the day.

And as we continue to warn our students about displaying and posting inappropriate content on their MySpace and FaceBook sites, these teachers apparently failed to heed similar warnings and seemed surprised when cornered about their content. One said, “I never thought about parents and kids…” seeing her site. Jeez.

While some may use all this posting nonsense as reasons to discipline or fire these Teachers Gone Wild, I prefer the old fashion excuse.

Do we really want stupid people teaching our future?

Storms, Phone Menus & Yearbook Emergencies

2008-04-27T15:06:00.003-05:00

Spring time.

We all know what that means. No, I’m not talking about final deadlines, last minute proofs or yearbook deadlines. No siree, I’m talking about those nasty spring storms that pop up, knock out your electricity and leave you in the dark.

One of those storms blew through the other day, knocking out power and leaving me to put on my makeup by candlelight. (And, no thankfully, I didn’t end up looking like Bozo the Clown). With the lack of electricity, I thought it would be a good time to try for that scrunchy hair look, but I’m sad to report it just looked like I forgot to dry my hair.

I called the electric company a gajillion times pressing 1 for this, 2 for that and wishing there was a 4 for “I’m going to smack someone upside the head if I don’t talk to a real person soon” prompt.

Well, all that button pushing and lack of human contact, got me to thinking how thankful I am that I get to talk to a real person when I call my yearbook plant or my yearbook rep.

Call me whacky, but I love to talk to real people.

I don’t know why other companies–you know, like my power company, insurance companies, customer service here, there everywhere–can’t figure that out. Can you imagine the options menu if yearbook companies were like my power company ?

I think it would go something like this…

Press 1 for Set Your Hair On Fire Emergencies

Press 2 for If I Eat A Pound of Chocolate, My Crisis Can Wait 24 Hours

Press 3 for HAL Has Taken Over My Computers and Nothing Seems to Work

Press 4 for Who Am I and Why Am I Here?

Press 5 for Missing Link?! Are you sure you’re talking about Image 00845 and not that kid who sits in the back row?

Thankfully those are not my options. When I have a yearbook crisis, I actually get a real person.

Still, there’s a part of me that secretly thinks it would be rather fun to add the “Press 1 for Set Your Hair On Fire Emergencies” to the options menu.

Just a thought.

Star Wars, Pizza Andy & the 168th Carnival of Education

2008-04-23T08:00:00.001-05:00

Before I get to the Carnival, I have to tell you that yesterday was somewhat of a disappointment.

I actually had a “Star Wars” emergency, and who do we call for that sort of thing? Why, Pizza Andy, of course. I needed Episode 1 (and, yes, I already know it’s not as good as the others, according to my “Star Wars” fans), but nonetheless, I needed Episode 1 for an advertising bit I’m doing on product placement. I had forgotten mine, and we all know that Andy carts around his collection in case there’s a “Star Wars” emergency.

Believing that this constituted such a thing, I tracked him down after his math class.

No “Star Wars.”

His book bag, he apologized, had become too full so he had taken them out last week.

Just another reminder that life is full of disappointments. Let’s hope he doesn’t remove his pocket Constitution. If I need one of those, we could be in real trouble.

Now on to the 168th Carnival of Education hosted by our friends at the Education Wonks. Make sure you hop on over there to see what’s going on in the EduSphere. There’s always something for everyone. My post on “Austin, Rubber Chickens and Awards” made the cut. But you don’t have to go there to read it here.

Austin, Rubber Chickens & Awards

2008-04-20T20:04:00.008-05:00

I spent the weekend in Austin.

I’d like to tell you my time was spent in blissful oblivion at some frou-frouey spa in decadent self-indulgence where the only decision-making crisis was whether to add the aromatherapy salt-wrap or to have chai or organic green tea.

But you know that never happened. For crying out loud, did you forget I’m a public education school teacher?

As if I could afford blissful oblivion. As if. Jeez, I can’t even afford that blue and white Bliss in a bottle stuff.

While most folks view getting away once in a while to get re-centered, re-grouped and re-energized, I, on the other hand, loaded up an assortment of newspaper and yearbook staffers –13 to be exact–and headed to one of the best cities on the planet for the annual state journalism convention. (That alone should give you pause to ponder if perhaps someone whacked me in the head or if, perhaps, I should be whacked in the head, and not for traveling to Austin, but for traveling with that many teenagers.)

So boys and girls, that’s how I found myself in Austin, surrounded by teenagers–did I mention 13 to be exact. (Well, 14 if you count my daughter who serves as VP of Humor Control for this blog.)

Now, we all know that any time you spend an inordinate amount of time with teenagers in a confined area, well, strange things happen. But before we go there, let me just say speedy quick that the chicken, of course, accompanied us and came in quite useful as we darted across lanes of traffic.

As always, Mr. Chicken generated joy to those he pointed and squawked at. After all, what’s not to like about a rubber chicken hanging out a Suburban window or peeking through the sunroof? Compare that to our second van that was forced to navigate without a rubber chicken. At last count, they got flipped off six times.

OK, OK, OK, let’s get back to interesting things overheard… And while what happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas, Austin is entirely a different story. Because whatever happens in Austin with 14 pairs of eyes watching will inevitably get embellished exponentially until I’m flying down the freeway at 150 mph singing “Born to Be Wild” at the top of my lungs while flashing my new tattoo of our high school’s first ever state Silver Star. (And just for the record, no, I never drove 150 mph, nor sang much of anything, and no, I don’t have a tattoo, but we did get a Silver Star.)

And speaking of winners, here are a few things overheard on the trip and duly written down by our very responsible yearbook business manager…

In the “Crowded Van” Category… “I’m trying really hard not to touch your butt…”

In the “I-can’t-believe-my-teacher-is-this-stupid” Category…
Me…“Your left or my left?”
Them…“It’s the same left.”
Me…“Oh…”

In the “Are We There Yet” Category…
Passenger #1…“When you go over speed bumps do you make noises like ugggghhh?”
Passenger #2…“No, that’s probably just you.”

In the “Rhetorical Question” Category to the participants of a Problem Solver Convention who were sharing our elevator…
“If there are so many Problem Solvers and this is only Texas, why are our world’s problems not solved yet?"

In the “I can’t believe I just said that” Category
“Oh, I think I hear an ice cream truck!”
“No, dear, those are church bells…”

In the “Let’s get on the same page” Category or the “I-can’t-believe-my-teacher-is-this-stupid” Category Part II…
Me…“What movie are we watching?”
Them…“360”
Me… “I’ve never heard of that movie before. What’s it about?”
Them… “That’s the room number…”
Me… “Oh…”

In the Honorable Mention Category
•“Your face isn’t normal…”
•“Stupider”
•“Runned”

Now, I bet your weekend wasn’t funner than mine… Unless, of course, you found some bliss.

167th Carnival of Education

2008-04-16T05:30:00.001-05:00

The 167th Carnival of Education, hosted by the Columbus Education Association, is out giving you the perfect taste of what’s going on in the EduSphere. My entry, “Crazy Stupid, St. Bernard & Jack,” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here. I briefly scanned through some of the other entries this morning and I think you’ll find quite a few good reads. But I’ve got to go now because it’s time to walk Jack, and if I don’t, well, we all know what disaster lurks just around the corner, and if you don’t know, well, you best read my last post…