Bellringers

The Richie Hata’s Club, T-Shirts & Interesting Emails

2009-11-08T10:10:00.004-06:00

The Richie Hata’s Club grew this week, an unintentional by-product of being in the publications biz.

I shrugged it off, though, partially because I was wearing my nifty, spiffy “Don’t Be A Big Fat Stupid Head” t-shirt. I decided it was worth the money to print the minimum dozen order, so I could wear one willy-nilly through the halls surreptitiously calling people a BFSH without really doing so, thereby keeping my nifty little timer ticking. Clever, huh?

I also shrugged the Hata’s off because by 9 a.m. Friday, my poor principal looked like he needed an entire case of BFSH t-shirts. I would have bought him some, too, but then he would have had to increase my stipend. And well, my friends, we all know that isn’t going to happen. This is Tejas, after all. (I probably should explain that little remark, but then that is exactly the kind of thing that would get me into all kinds of trouble–and not even a truckload of BFSH t-shirts could save me from that one. Instead, I’ll just file that little piece of info in my “Things That Will Get You Fired Folder.”)

So back to the Richie Hata’s Club. I received some “interesting” emails this week. (Remember the word “interesting” is our little code word for things that range from nine kinds of stupid to snarky to rendering one speechless.)

I received an email from a parent who was upset at me because they missed the final deadline to purchase an ad for their senior. (You know, the ads that appear in the back of a yearbook where parents run baby pictures and say wonderful things about their kiddo?) Despite mailing home the information, announcing it almost daily and posting it on the school website, the parent missed it all and missed the deadline.

The parent’s biggest complaint? The information was posted on the school website.

The parent said they couldn’t afford the Internet.

“Interesting,” I thought as I crafted my reply and clicked the “send” button.

Here was an email that apparently found its way into my inbox. I’m guessing from the Internet.

I wonder what Al Gore would have to say about that.

Some Odds & Ends

2009-11-05T15:57:00.005-06:00

Just a few little reminders…

#1… The EduCarnival V2 is up and running over at I’m a Dreamer. Check it out. There’s lots of good stuff over there. My post on “Deadlines, Omelets & Banned Chocolate” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here. But, my dears, you really need to take a walk down that midway so you can walk the walk and talk the talk about all that is important in the EduSphere.

#2… If you just love to read more fun stuff from me, head on over to Blogcritics magazine and read my latest post, “Making the god of Exercise Smirk.” Although it’s not education related, I still think you will be amused.

#3… And, of course, please keep spreading the good news about my book, How to Lose Your Self of Steam & Other Teaching Lessons I Never Learned From Professional Development. You can order it online at amazon.com or from the Journalism Educators Association Bookstore.

Deadlines, Omelets & Banned Chocolate

2009-11-01T13:00:00.002-06:00

Somehow we managed to survive this deadline without our Emergency Chocolate drawer. Of course, that made us all a tad bit more snarky than usual.

The lack of EC had absolutely nothing to do with efforts to shed 5,000 pounds, acknowledge the evils of refined sugar or fit into those pair of blue jeans now stashed in the back of my closet.

No siree, Missy.

We can blame this entire 5-alarm chocolate-less state of emergency on a nasty little email sent just days before we launched into our second newspaper deadline. This little electronic ditty outlined some not-so-nice edicts from a bunch of state bureaucratic chocolate hatas. Jeez Louise, what is the world coming to?

The email went something like this “blah, blah, blah, high schools may not serve or provide …blah, blah, blah… candy at any time anywhere on school premises… blah, blah, blah…such foods and beverages may not be sold or given away to students on school premises by school administrators or staff (principals, coaches, teachers, etc.), student or student groups, parents or parent groups, guest speakers or any other person, company or organization…blah blah blah… stricter penalties… blah blah blah…”

Is there anyone left in the free world not on that list that can slip us a little contraband chocolate? Now, I know these little rules have been around for a bit, but like Jack Sparrow, I rather preferred to think of them as merely “guidelines,” mate. Apparently, such is not the case.

According to these rules, you can dive into a sugar-laden, fat-filled frenzy after school hours, but not during school. No illegal chocolate for the sports guys after they discovered they desperately needed a quote from the golf coach, who hasn’t been seen in days because the team’s at a tournament. No chocolate. None. Nadda. Zip.

And, no forbidden chocolate either for my cute little editor-in-chief when she discovered–once again for the gazillionth time–that no one shot her photos for the centerspread. No chocolate for her either. None. Nadda. Zip. Just two blank pages staring back at her.

And, there was no emergency chocolate for the rest of us either when–in the midst of deadline–we asked one of the sports guys, “Hey, what are you doing?” as he popped paper plate after plate into the microwave with some sort of egg concoction instead of working on his pages.

“Making omelets for my Spanish class,” he replied.

Now, I’m not exactly sure where mixing and microwaving omelets fit under the chocolate hatas memo. I remember seeing some link that had the words “square meal” somewhere, but I didn’t bother having a look.

You see, my meals come on round plates, and the only thing square comes in the form of a little banned chocolate bar.

Carnivals, My Book & Nifty t-shirts

2009-10-29T05:42:00.005-05:00

Woo-hoo! Two carnivals are running in the EduSphere this week, and I have posts on both.

I Want To Teach Forever hosts Issue 10 of the Educarnival v2. My post on “Witches, Warnings & Phone Calls” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read about it here.

Notes From A Homeschooling Mom unveiled her first carnival, the Carnival of Educators. Although hosted by a homeschooler, the carnival is open to all educators. Pop on over there to see what’s going on. My post “Thing 1, Thing 2 and Fish Clappers” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read about it here.

Still, you need to stroll on down the midways so you are in the know and not a ninnyhammer.

And speaking of ninnyhammers, I’m getting Big Fat Stupid Head t-shirts to help promote my book. I have to order more than two, so if you are interested in one, let me know. Cost will be about $12. Shoot me an email at mybellringers@gmail.com

And speaking of my book, it is out. If you preordered at amazon.com, your book should ship sometime next week. If you haven't ordered you book, well my dears, what in the Sam Hill is stopping you? Pop on over to Amazon or the JEA bookstore will also be taking orders soon. I’ll let you know when the book is available through the JEA site.

Witches, Warnings & Phone Calls

2009-10-25T11:34:00.000-05:00

With Halloween just mere days away, I probably should rush out to buy a costume, but that’s really not necessary. You see, I’ve been feeling rather witchy lately, and I don’t think I need a little pointy hat to prove that point either. No siree, Missy.

Perhaps it’s this lingering cold courtesy of the high school cooties wafting through our halls.

Perhaps it’s because some idiot (that would be me) scheduled newspaper deadline and yearbook deadline for the same week.

But just as likely, though, this witchiness is simply because I’m old, tired and a tad cranky.

All of which explains why we had to institute Richie’s “Phone Home” plan this week. It went something like this…

I have this great kid on my newspaper staff, but he, along with a few other boys, will occasionally say or do something inappropriate. There’s a particular word that’s pretty popular with the teen crowd, but nonetheless remains inappropriate in my classroom. It’s not even a cuss word, and it’s not that I’m a prude about such thing, but I am, however, a stickler for using language not only correctly but in the correct place.

So, my newspaper staffer uses this word, but I’m feeling nice, so I issue a warning. Warning #1 goes something like this, “Please don’t say that word again, or we’re going to have to call your mom because I don’t think she would like you using that word in my classroom.”

Days later the offending staffer uses that same inappropriate word. Amazingly, I am still feeling a bit warm and fuzzy, so I issue Warning #2 with a sterner voice. It goes something like this, “I told you not to say that word again. If you say that word one more time, we are going to have to call your parental unit.”

Days later the offending staffer repeats that word. Unlike the mom in the grocery store who repeatedly threatens her tantrum throwing toddler, I don’t issue empty threats. We called the staffer’s Dad, and the staffer had to tell Dad why Richie was so upset.

I don’t think Mr. Staffer will use that word again in my classroom.

Maybe I should buy a broom.

Thing 1, Thing 2 & Fish Clappers

2009-10-20T08:23:00.006-05:00

(Writers note: This post was featured first on Technorati this week. Please excuse my lateness and my laziness for not posting something different, but I’ve been battling high school germ cooties. Despite my Clorox wipes, Lysol spray and hand sanitizer, I still feel as if I’m living in a petri dish.)

In my little world, Friday brings two things. For fun, let’s call these things “Thing 1” and “Thing 2.”

Thing 1… Every Friday morning, I reward myself for surviving the week with my requisite nonfat, three raw sugar latte. If you’ve ever had the privilege of teaching in a high school, you’re probably saying, “Amen sister!” right about now. (A few of you may even be ordering a double shot of something.)

Thing 2… Somewhere along the way I thought it would be a fabulous idea to institute a weekly Current Events Day. (After all, I teach a journalism class.)

Friday’s class goes something like this… The kiddos bring in an article that interests them. Each kid talks about his article. Then other kids comment about the article. Then we all applaud with these nifty little fish clappers I purchased on line.

Sometimes, though, the comment portion makes me just want to whack myself in the head with those fish clappers. Last week I smacked myself twice. One kid tried to convince the rest of us that President Obama won two Nobel Peace Prizes, and another kid, like, used the word, like, oh, I don’t know, like, about 20 times in, like, 20, like, seconds. (I bet you’re, like, wanting to borrow those clappers, like, right about now.)

But besides those two minor incidents, most of the class brought in two articles that mirrored the buzz around the nation. For fun, we’ll call these things “Thing 1” and “Thing 2.”

Thing 1… The story of the 6-year-old Colorado boy who was thought to have been inside a wayward weather balloon, but was later found hiding in his family’s garage attic.

Thing 2… The story of a 6-year-old New York Cub Scout who was suspended from school for bringing his little Cub Scout camping utensil to eat his lunch.

In Thing 1, my journalism kids pretty much agreed with the buzz across the nation that a family who appears on a reality show like “Wife Swap,” claims to have flown alien spaceships in a previous life, and then makes the media circuit (even though their kid throws up twice) is probably just a tad to the left of crazy. Even the kids questioned whether the ordeal was a publicity stunt before the sheriff’s department announced that charges would be filed in the incident.

In Thing 2… Some in the class argued in favor of leaving cute little Zachary alone and putting him back in school. Others favored punishing the 6 year old. It’s the old Zero Tolerance faction pitted against the Use Discretion and Common Sense faction.

Just like in the national arena, we didn’t resolve the Zero Tolerance issue either, but at least, we got to use the fish clappers and dispel the two Nobel Peace Prize rumor.

Now about that “like” thing. Well, that’s going to take, like, more then, like, my clapping fish and one Friday to handle. Let me, like, get back to you on that one.

A Serious Side of Richie

2009-10-14T14:54:00.010-05:00

FYI… If you’re interested in a more serious side of Richie, you can hop on over to technorati and read an article of mine called “Taking Trouble Out of the Classroom.” It was on the front page of technorati for a bit, now it’s on the right hand side of the front page of the lifestyles section. I’m not sure how long it will remain up there. Or, you can simply go here to access it.

Let me know what you think. Post a comment there if you feel so inclined.

EduCarnival V2 Issue 9--State Fair of Texas Edition

2009-10-14T05:25:00.008-05:00

Well, howdy pard-ners. Did ya really think we could have a carnival in October without Big Tex? Seriously folks, even Oprah showed up at the great State Fair of Texas and tried some of that fried butter and what she called “corn doggies.”

So here we are meetin’ and greetin’ under the 52-foot-tall Big Tex. Our post pickins’ was a bit slim this go-around. I guess all the rain here kept some of you away. Either that or those pesky grades being due kept you from exchanging your red pen for a corn dog.

Now, before all ya hatas out there start, please note that the Fair Committee (ahem, that would be me) decided not to include posts that solely appeared to aim at sellin’ stuff. This is not to say I don’t indulge in shameless self-promotion from time to time myself--(Have you pre-ordered my book?)--but let’s rent a booth along the midway and hawk our wares that way.

So, here we go…

Oh, there’s Joanne Jacobs by the corn dog stand talking about that dangerous little boy, Zach, who brought his little cub scout thing to school. Horrors. Thank goodness he didn’t bring a spork!

Mr. Teacher is getting warmed up for the ring toss. He could use a little fun after spending four days administering benchmark tests and watching the kiddos getting stumped.

Hey y’all, forget about that 1,100 pound pig. Just when you thought it was safe, well, here we have the 20 Weirdest Courses Online & Offline… I can learn about YouTube, how to walk, study zombies and so much more. Zombies, you say? Oh, Jeez Louise, why not? It’s not any weirder than my bout with shape shifters.

And speaking of weird, I’m A Dreamer has a short little post on How Not To Behave During Parent/Teacher Conferences.

Anyone care to guess the average IQ of people along the midway? No? OK. Teacher Food asks if we really care about the average SAT scores of our neighbors or are there more important things we need to be teaching in our classrooms.

Old Andrew from Scenes from the Battlefield ponders hard work and the tendency for folks to think that learning requires little effort.

Over at bloomin’ minds… oh wait, make that Minds in Bloom, we have eight nifty ways to put creativity and critical thinking into your busy day. And then let’s go over or I suppose I should say down under, to Footsteps of Aristotle who wants to know why we denigrate our colleagues instead of learning from them.

Let’s give a big cheer and a shout out to Pat over at Successful Teaching who reminds us about the important role parents play in their children’s education.

DetentionSlip brings us up-to-date on a New York kid who wanted to start a Bible club and Michelle Hogan wonders if it’s time to stand up and bully the bully.

Watch out for Nancy Flanagan over at Teacher in a Strange Land. She was feeling a bit snarky, but now wonders if name calling is never right.

And, while we’re running willy-nilly down the midway, you might want to check out this odd assortment of stuff… twitter feeds for med students, 100 free tools to tutor yourself in anything and 100 awesome iTune feeds for teachers. Spangler has some Halloween stuff for sale, but he also has some free science experiments for stuff like blowing up pumpkins and such.

Oh my… it’s getting late. We better head on back. As if we didn’t eat enough at the fair, my friend the Scholastic Scribe offers this nifty little pie recipe.

OK, OK, OK so that nifty pie recipe has absolutely nothing to do with life in the EduSphere.

OK OK OK so she didn’t even submit a post, but I say the world would be a much better place if perhaps we ate a little bit more pie. Think about that while you’re thinking about this… Submit your next posts for Education Carnival using this handy dandy form. I think the carnival moves back over to Epic Adventures Are Often Uncomfortable next week.

Well folks, that’s it. As I always say,

“I’ve got this feeling that there’s something that I missed…”

–Snow Patrol

And, if I did, my apologies.

Please email me with any problems or broken links at mybellringers@gmail.com. I, of course, would appreciate any links back to the carnival.

2009-10-12T05:49:00.015-05:00

Get your FunnyBack!

Woo-hoo!
I know you don’t want to be a Big Fat Stupid Head
so go now and pre-order…

How to Lose
Your Self of Steam
& Other Teaching Lessons I Never Learned
From Professional Development

Get it
at amazon.com.

Fair Day, Iguanas & Shape Shifters

2009-10-11T14:21:00.000-05:00

In the great Lone Star State, we have Fair Day. We give the kids a day off from school, a free fair ticket, and either give teachers the day off too or make them come to school for some sort of professional development.

My school district’s Fair Day falls on Columbus Day, but I won’t be strolling along the midway, eating cotton candy, noshing on corny dogs or trying that new fried butter concoction.

No siree, Missy. I’ll be at school. But that’s OK because from the professional development schedule, each department gets to meet on its own. Since I am a “department” of one, you know how much I just love meeting with myself. You may recall, my meetings go something like this…

Me… “Self, what do you think we should do?”
Me too… “I make a motion that we should suspend with all this paperwork and get some grading done and some planning done, and hey, let’s take that new school district issued squirt bottle and wipe down all the desks to kill off all those nasty little H1N1 cooties.”
Me… “OMG, what a great idea! You’re so-o-o-o fab-u-lous!”
Me too… “Gee, why thanks! You’re great, too! Let’s get cracking here…”

Frankly, I need a bit of a break from the kiddos. I’m hoping that while I’m killing off the H1N1 cooties perhaps I can make a dent in the apparent proliferation of BFSH cooties (as in Big Fat Stupid Head cooties, and no, that doesn’t count toward stopping my timer either).

I think I’ll need an industrial strength bottle for that, but you be the judge. Here’s a little exchange that occurred in one of my photography classes while we were discussing the composition elements in a photograph of an iguana.

Me… “Do you see how by blurring the background, the dominant element stands out…”
Student #1… “Mrs. Richtsmeier, do iguanas change color?”
Me… “No dear, those are chameleons…”
Student #2… “Yeah, iguanas don’t change color. They change shape…”
Me & the rest of the class… “What?!”
Student #1… “I think I need to go home now. We’re just getting dumber…”
Me… “I think we’ll just stop here for now and call it a day…”

Yep, toss me that squirt bottle. I think it’s going to be a rather long day.

Education Carnival #8 is up

2009-10-07T07:50:00.003-05:00

The Education Carnival is up and running over at Epic Adventures Are Often Uncomfortable. My post, “Challenges, More Espresso & Peons” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here. Still, if you want to be in the know on what’s happenin’ in the EduSphere, you really need to check out all the posts there.

Next week I’ll be hosting the Carnival, so make sure you submit your stuff. You can use this handy, dandy form to do so.

Big Fat Stupid Head Challenge #4

2009-10-07T07:25:00.001-05:00

My Big Fat Stupid Head remarks have morphed out of control.

Without my timer, I seem to mumble or shout those words on a regular basis. Even making my nifty little stickers did little to abate my penchant for the phrase. Obviously, the only way to stop it is to reinstate the BFSH timer.

So-o-o-o-o, my friends, let’s give it a shout one more time, “Quit being a BIG FAT STUPID HEAD!”

And with that, let’s see how long it will take us before someone somewhere does something incredibly stupid, forcing us to shout, “What a Big Fat Stupid Head!”

Let the timer begin!

Challenges, More Espresso & Peons

2009-10-04T08:12:00.002-05:00

Sometimes every hour of every day of every week brings challenges.

But lately in my vocabulary, the word “challenges” is becoming more and more synonymous with a full-fledged, 5-alarm nuclear-setting-your-hair-on-fire-meltdown-kind-of-disaster.

I know. I know. I know. I should probably cut back on the espresso or take a vacation. Of course, a vacation would be nice, but the last time I took a peek at my airline miles, I didn’t even have enough to skipdedoo down the jet bridge much less taxi down a runway. No siree, Missy. So that only leaves cutting back on the espresso, and that, my dears, just makes me cranky. (OK, so make that crankier.)

With one six weeks grading period down and five more to go, I spent this weekend mulling over which of my “challenges” were blog worthy. Trust me, it was a tough choice, but you know there had to be a winner. (After all, this is the not the YMCA.)

About a week ago, we were working on our writing skills in my journalism class by reading and critiquing everyone’s work. One student’s paper said something about not becoming “a pee-on.”

The conversation went something like this…

Me… “The correct spelling should be p-e-o-n…”
Someone… “That’s a real word?”
Me… “Why yes…”
About half the class… “Really?”
Me… “Yes.”
About half the class… unintelligible muttering
Me… “Oh my, don’t tell me you really thought people were actually saying to pee on somebody.”
About half the class…Murmurs of yes.
Someone… “So what does it mean?”
Me… “A peon is a person who is at the bottom of the food chain. The lowest person…”
Someone else… “Well, isn’t that kind of like being peed on?”
Me… “Well, I never quite looked at it like that…”

The next morning to face the challenges of another day, I took a little detour on the way to work through the nearest Starbucks drive-through.

Stopping the Big Fat Stupid Head Timer

2009-09-27T12:18:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I amaze myself.

Often times I disappoint myself.

And other times I just have to deal with myself.

And so, at this particular moment in time, if you mash those three things together into one fine mess, you get a screeching halt of the Big Fat Stupid Head timer for Challenge #3. Yes siree, Missy. The clock has officially stopped. No more ticking here or there. Nope. We are full speed ahead into a full-blown, 5-alarm Big Fat Stupid Head clock stopping crisis.

Oh, pah-leese, don't look so surprised especially after last week. You knew I was teetering on the edge of the great dark newspaper deadline abyss. While I never once picked up an ax, I did have that Lizzie Borden, ax-wielding, fixin’ to go postal, crazed look kind of smile all week long. And, no, neither the Emergency Chocolate nor the Superduper Secret Emergency chocolate could stop the inevitable.

But let’s go back to the amazing, disappointing and dealing with oneself bit…

I am rather amazed that I managed to muddle through for 266 days, 11 hours, 26 minutes and 21 seconds (more or less) before my Big Fat Stupid Head outburst. I say “more or less” because I technically didn’t stop the timer until two days after the fact. I shrieked those words at my newspaper staff on Thursday during deadline because, well, quite frankly, they were all Big Fat Stupid Heads. Although just a mere two days away from turning in the newspaper, we still had vacant boxes where cartoons were supposed to go, empty columns where stories were supposed to be and blank spaces where photographs belonged.

Once the BFSH words tumbled out, I was a bit disappointed that I couldn’t stop myself. Blame all that chocolate or that shot of espresso, but even as the bell rang, I continued saying, “Goodbye Big Fat Stupid Head No. 1, Big Fat Stupid Head No. 2, Big Fat Stupid Head No. 3…” and so forth and so on.

I felt a tad bit like Chevy Chase in “A Christmas Vacation” in that scene at the beginning of the movie where the corporate types all file past him, but ignore him as he wishes each one, “Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas…” until he realizes that no one is listening to him, so he starts saying other things–– as in things that will get you fired.

Now, calm down. I didn’t say any of those things, but I did find it all rather cathartic to say Big Fat Stupid Head, Big Fat Stupid Head, Big Fat Stupid Head, over and over and over again. It sort of became my mantra for that day, and, yes, the next day, too.

And the kids? Well, they do what they always do--laugh.

So I’ve decided, at least for the next few days, I’m just going to deal with the entire shebang by not restarting the timer, until I have this whole Big Fat Stupid Head thing back under control and my Emergency Chocolate Drawer restocked.

In the meantime, I’ve even made my own, “Don’t be a Big Fat Stupid Head” stickers. They look like this…

So you can see why it may take me just a bit longer before I crank up that timer again.

Stop the Presses & Other Odds & Ends

2009-09-26T16:25:00.008-05:00

OK… so technically not the presses… but a few things of note…

No. 1–Yes, My Big Fat Stupid Head timer has stopped. You’ll want to drop back by to find out why. My post will be up by Monday, Sept. 28.

No. 2–Those of you who have been traipsing through the EduSphere with me since I started this little endeavor back in July of 2007 will be amused, thrilled or dismayed (depending upon what side of the Richie Hata’s Club camp you fall) to know that my book, How to Lose Your Self of Steam & Other Teaching Lessons I Never Learned From Professional Development, will be published in mid-October. How’s that for a bit of shameless self-promotion? Stay tuned for the exact release date and ordering info.

No. 3–And continuing with my shameless self-promotion, I along with my good buddy over at St. Mark’s School of Texas, Ray Westbrook, were named national Dow Jones Newspaper Fund Distinguished Advisers. While I feel extremely honored to be one of four “Distinguished” advisers, that word does make me rush to the bathroom mirror to see if I have any grey hair sprouting about. But no siree, Missy, I don’t (either that or that Aveda hair coloring thing seems to be holding up quite well).

No. 4–And yes, there’s more self-promotion…I was featured for a little interview segment called “Lessons from the field.” If you want to read about that, you can go here.

And finally, No. 5–The Carnival is up and running again over at Epic Adventures Are Often Uncomfortable. Head on over there to see what’s new in the EduSphere. My post “Picture Day, Emergency Chocolate & My Lizzie Borden Smile” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here.

But remember, don’t be a Big Fat Stupid Head. Drop back by to find out about why my BFSH timer stopped.

Picture Day, Emergency Chocolate & My Lizzie Borden Smile

2009-09-20T07:14:00.013-05:00

Picture Day sent me to the emergency chocolate drawer twice, to the superduper secret chocolate draw once and to kickboxing class twice. I don’t know what it is about yearbook, but the whole yearbook thing just gives me an uncontrollable urge to hit something. (I think you know what I mean.)

But somewhere in the organized chaos, we still ran through roughly 1,700 kiddos before the final 3:45 bell rang. I’m going to call the day a qualified success since we had only one complaint and my principal still smiled at me––and not that Lizzie Borden ax-wielding, fixin’ to go postal, crazed look kind of smile either. And, as an added bonus, as far as I know, everyone had on their underwear. Nope, none of that Florida nonsense here, Missy.

As an extra, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious bonus, I didn’t even call anyone a Big Fat Stupid… So the ole counter to the right remains counting. (I think it was all that chocolate and extra kickboxing smackdowns that kept me in line.)

But before you do the Dance of Joy for my BFSH restraint, let me just say that Monday marks Beat the Teacher Night--oh wait, make that MEET the Teacher Night, and Monday also marks the start of newspaper deadline week. I don’t even think the superduper secret emergency chocolate will help this time. My BFSH timer might as well toll its last tick tock.

So if you see me with that Lizzie Borden, ax-wielding, fixin’ to go postal, crazed look kind of smile, well, you probably just ought to move on out of the way.

EduCarnival V2 is Up

2009-09-17T05:47:00.003-05:00

Woo-hoo! The Carnival of Education is up and running over at Epic Adventures Are Often Uncomfortable. Lots of good posts to read over there. My entry, “President Obama, Speeches & Rubber Chickens” was included, but you don’t have to go there to read it here.

Still, you know the drill. If you want to be in the know, you really should go there to see what’s buzzing around the EduSphere.

Progress Reports, Wet Paint & Picture Day

2009-09-13T19:17:00.009-05:00

Already three weeks into the school year, and once again, I find myself woefully behind.

Yep, behind as in progress reports are due Monday, and I have a book bag full of 44 or so color coordinated folders screaming for my politically incorrect red pen. This, of course, doesn’t even begin to include those yearbook pages that need my attention, the chapter one worksheets waiting for a good once over or those half-finished handouts I need to complete for Monday.

I get exhausted just thinking about those kind of things. (And gollygeewillikers, we all know how I feel about things.)

All of this rather pales in comparison to my upcoming Friday. Normally, I’m rather fond of Fridays. But not this one. No siree, Missy. Batten down the hatches. Sound the alarm. Send out the cavalry. This particular Friday is The Day. The dreaded School Picture Day. This particular day is enough to make one set one’s hair on fire and run screaming from the building.

In the span of one day, we expect four photographers to shoot roughly 1,700 kiddos and make all the kiddos and teachers look fabulous without annoying or irritating the English teachers on campus.

I even spent hours making up a handy, dandy “appointment” schedule, noting what teacher needs to bring what class at what time. I’m about 99.9 percent sure my nifty schedule will serve a more useful purpose on the bottom of someone’s bird cage.

The yearbook staff also plastered posters around the school to mark The Day. One of the signs promptly fell down which wouldn’t have been a problem except the paint hadn’t dried. And that probably wouldn’t have been a problem except the offending sign with its offending wet paint had, shall we say, a tad bit of paint transfer onto the pants of one of our nifty assistant principals.

I sincerely hope all of that isn’t a sign of bad things to come. (See, there are those darn tootin’ things again.)

The only good thing about my upcoming Friday is that I usually set aside Fridays as my “Starbucks Day” where I reward myself one nonfat, three raw sugar latte. This bit of extravagance serves as my reward for surviving the week without calling anyone a Big Fat Stupid…

Maybe I just need to hook up an espresso IV for the day and hope for the best. Something tells me I’ll be lucky indeed if my counter on the right doesn’t stop and the halls don’t reverberate with, “Why are you such a big fat…”

September 11

2009-09-11T08:08:00.004-05:00

Eight years later. I have not forgotten you. Each and every one. With each passing day, others may try to mitigate and lessen the loss. But at what cost? I still hear you. Ghosts whispering in the wind.

I have not forgotten you.

I will never forget.

President Obama, Speeches & Rubber Chickens

2009-09-08T06:41:00.009-05:00

Today’s the big day––the President Obama Speech Day, and I’m not quite sure what all the fuss is about because, you see, on any given day probably 99 percent of teachers in the country can’t access anything on the Internet any way.

I along with my EduSphere bloggers have ranted about that before. Some school districts like McKinney ISD have become so paranoid that they have implemented policies restricting even email contact between teachers and students. Hails Bails, friends tell me all the time about how they can’t access my blog at their schools. And don’t even get me started on trying to download images from Google at school. Teachers across this great land of ours have to resort to pretending we’re Russian and surf on over to the communist side. (Are Russians still considered communists?) Ah, the things one must do in the name of education.

So, to President Obama, I say good luck with that whole speech thing and getting through the school house door.

Here’s a tip though, Mr. President, in case you do managed to break through: I noticed there was absolutely no mention of a rubber chicken in your address. Now, Mr. President, if you want those kiddos to listen to you, well, you better rustle one up speedy quick.

You’re going to have to trust me on that one.

Hand Raising, Geometric Shapes & Squiggly Feelings

2009-08-30T19:50:00.010-05:00

Raise your hands if you survived the first week of school.

Raise your hands if your feet hurt after the first week of school.

Raise your hands if you’re ready for summer to roll around.

Did your hand pop up all three times? I know mine did. So while I should be working on my lesson plans for the week, some yearbook page designs and those darn tootin’ purchase orders that sadly I meant to complete sometime over the summer but never did, I’ve decided instead to do what any self-respecting Squiggle would do.

Rebel.

Oh my, I guess I forgot to tell you about the whole Circle, Square, Triangle, Squiggle thing. Almost sounds like a bad game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors” doesn’t it? The Squiggle thing was all a part of this teacher in-service motivational thing that touched upon Psycho-Geometrics. At any rate, we discovered how our personalities fit a specific shape with special attributes. Squiggles apparently have high energy (so why am I so-o-o-o-o-o tired?), possess a sense of humor (that explains my rubber chicken and hand puppets) and exhibit a certain level of creative intelligence (well folks, just read this ole bloggeroo).

Squiggles also tend to like to challenge the status quo and rebel. Apparently, Squiggles have difficulty completing tasks like those pesky purchase orders.

For the first week of school, I decided to do the same little test with my newspaper and yearbook staffs as part of our “getting to know you” exercises.

About 98 percent professed to be Squiggles.

Jeez Louise, now do you see why I’m ready for summer to roll back around?

Teacher Purgatory, Bowling & Goals

2009-08-20T07:09:00.007-05:00

Initially I planned to wait until this weekend to duly record what administrators refer to as teacher professional development or teacher in-service, but what I more fondly like to call “Teacher Purgatory.”

Mine began on Tuesday, and unlike most school districts across the land, my school district actually makes an attempt to make teacher in-service fun. They brought in a funny improv group from Chicago, and in the afternoon, we went bowling.

Yep. Bowling.

It was a team building thing. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all about the team building thing, but I’ve only been bowling once in my life and that was in high school. (Trust me, you don’t have enough fingers or toes to count how many years ago that was.)

But they gave me some nifty white socks (new ones) and some spiffy tan bowling shoes (used and rental ones) and a hamburger (luke warm, but free and edible). We had to bowl backwards, lefthanded, righthanded, dancing… Well, you get the picture, and yes, there were plenty of Kodak moments and plenty of picture taking. Let’s just hope none of it shows up on YouTube.

The following day we had a few meetings in the morning. Since I am a “department” of one, I said a silent prayer that I would get to meet with myself. I just love those kind of meetings. They go something like this…

Me… “Self, what do you think we should do? Should we work on these goals?”
Me too… “No, I make a motion that we should suspend the paperwork and work on getting our rooms ready.”
Me… “Wow, that’s a great idea! You’re fab-u-lous!”
Me too… “Why thanks! Let’s get cracking here…”

But like I said… Teacher Purgatory. Those little prayers weren’t quite working for me. My principal made sure he put me in his group, but that’s OK. I love his meetings. He’s one of the few people left on the planet who doesn’t feel the need to read to you his power point presentation because he knows he’s hired teachers who can, well, you know, read. As an added bonus, his meetings always go speedy quick, and just like I have a bag full of Richie-isms, Dr. Al manages to have his own little -ism gems. I think it’s the old coach in him channelling out. He was on a roll with his pep talk when he said, “If that don't get you burning, then your wood’s wet and you need to dry out…”

See what I mean? You stay awake just waiting for one of those little gems to pop out.

Later we talked about goal setting. I didn’t take me long to jot down my Top 5. In retrospect, I’m not exactly sure these goals are quite what administrators had envisioned, but nonetheless here are…

Richie’s Top 5 Goals For the Year

#5…To actually take attendance within 72 hours. I thought 24 hours or 48 hours might be too unrealistic. I learned a long time ago that when one makes a goal that one must put down on paper that someone stores in some file cabinet one should be careful because one doesn’t want that goal to come back to haunt or taunt them in some future meeting with whatever someone that might be. Now, while that sentence may sound like gobbledygook to some of you, the rest of us know exactly what I’m talkin’ about.

#4…To locate whatever important paperwork that’s on my desk in a timely, rational fashion. Notice here that I purposely did not define “timely” nor “rational.” That’s in keeping with the previous gobbledygook sentence.

#3…To not dance naked on the table. Now before you get all excited about that one, let me just say it’s important to always include a goal that you absolutely know you can achieve. I’m pretty darn tootin’ sure I can check off this one. See, I’m already feeling successful this year, and it’s only Day No. 2.

#2…To keep my job. Pretty self-explanatory. Let’s hope my “Things That Will Get You Fired Folder” stays slim this year.

#1…And, of course, the No. 1 goal this school year is… what else?…Not to call anyone––say it with me brothers and sisters––a Big Fat Stupid Head! The counter, my friends, is still on.

Summer, Do-Overs & Plan B

2009-08-09T10:07:00.009-05:00

I need a do-over.

As in another summer.

With school looming less than two weeks away, I still have a stack of school stuff stashed in the corner of my bedroom (you know, all that stuff I was supposed to go through, organize and file). I’m embarrassed to report that the only time I’ve touched those boxes of school stuff has been to shuffle them around so I could vacuum the dust and dog hair off the floor. Oh, I almost forgot. I also touched them when I moved those boxes to the nether regions of my bedroom, so they would be easier to ignore and more difficult to trip over.

Sad, but true.

I need a do-over because I don’t quite understand where all that time I planned to allot to the “Organize Richie for Next Year” program went.

I wish I could say I was captured by aliens, but I don’t think so unless those Martians erased my memory. Still, I’m a tad bit fuzzy about what happened. I know I spent quite a bit of time gone--four weeks to be exact. However, that really doesn’t entirely explain what happened to the rest of my summer.

Really and truly I had planned to launch the “Organize Richie for Next Year” national pilot program--sort of like Oprah and Peter Walsh’s Clean Up Your Messy House tour. I even have a couple of bags from the Container Store stuffed in the garage just waiting to solve my educational organizational dilemmas, but with school less than two weeks away, I now have to launch Plan B.

My Plan B has a lot to do with a bit of smoke and mirrors and a heavy dose of procrastination.

Richie’s Optional Plan B
replacing the “Organize Richie for Next Year” Pilot Plan

Lounge Lizard… With the sun still blazing and the temperatures still soaring, let’s just sit by the pool and eat more chips and salsa, pretend it’s June instead of August and make a list of why being organized is overrated.

Face Facebook… Let’s just spend hours, like everyone else, updating our Facebook pages. Jeez Louise, since I’m new to it all (much to my sister Maggie’s chagrin), I need to find out what in the Sam Hill a farkle and a hatchling is. Then, when we return to school, we can tell everyone how we devoted our entire summer to “learning technology.”

Movin’ Groovin’… Now, if I remember my geography, I believe that whatever season it is in the Northern Hemisphere, that season is opposite in the Southern Hemisphere. So, my dears, when it is summer here, it’s winter there and visa versa. (See where I’m going with this?) So, when it’s time to start school here, it has to be ending there. Now, all we have to do is move way, way, way down south to launch our little do-over plan.

I planned to have a few more items for my Optional Plan B list, but I’ve got to go now and get that salsa ready, and there’s a bag of chips calling my name.

Update

2009-07-26T19:36:00.004-05:00

Oh dear, I’ve been so busy working this summer that I have neglected to post. Teachers? Working? Over the summer? Yeah, I know, we’re supposed to have the summers off. I guess I never got that memo, and I bet you didn’t either.

Just a few things of note… I am finally putting the finishing touches on my book. My fabulous proofreaders are supposed to return to me the ~~mangled~~ finished product in a few weeks, and then off to the printer it goes. Hails bails, I get dizzy just thinking about it.

In the meantime, check out a review of my blog here.

All in a Twitter

2009-07-15T17:30:00.001-05:00

Years ago I could sing (keep in mind I’m using that term rather loosely), most of songs from the rock opera “Jesus Christ Superstar.” Those of you of my vintage (and you know who you are), certainly can sing along to “What’s the buzz, tell me what’s a happenin’.

But that buzz thing seems to outdate me (and you). Perhaps we need to revise that and say, “What's the twitter, tell me what’s a happening…” Or, What in the tweet is this all about…”

I'm not quite sure what the correct vernacular would be. What I do know is that I need to get a handle on this twittering thing before I become the teacher left behind, or worse yet, a twit instead of a twitter. Right when I was thinking about all these twittering things, I received an email from freelance writer Mary Ward offering her “Top 8 teachers to follow on twitter.”

Crackfire! See why I should have been twittering all along? I would love to be on that list… except I’m not twittering. So join me as we investigate this twittering thing, and what better way to start then take a peak at Mary’s list and then head on over to those sites…

Top 8 Teachers to Follow on Twitter
by Mary Ward

As Twitter is full of interesting people and perspectives, it can be compelling to follow top professionals in any given area. If you work within the education field or even have an interest in it, finding and following some of the top teacher sites can make for some great information and of course networking. Here we follow the top 10 teachers and educators on Twitter.

1. Tawny Press – What’s nice about this educator is that she has a distinctive background but a very approachable and realistic persona. She specializes in corporate education with a focus on e-learning so she knows the field well, but she is also a very normal down to earth woman talking about everything from dogs to cupcakes. She is definitely a good one to follow as you never know what you might find on any given day.

2. Vicki Davis – This teacher goes above and beyond what you can provide in the classroom. She works to link students up with technology and make natural connections between the two. While her main focus is on education, she can also provide a great recipe or insight on life lessons along the way.

3. Discovery Education – Though not a teacher specifically, Discovery Education is an excellent Twitter site to follow as its goal is to connect teachers. This is a forum whereby teachers can network with one another and really talk about their profession, their ideas, and any struggles that they deal with. This makes it a rather comprehensive Twitter site to follow.

4. Dot Schools – This is a unique Twitter site as it helps people as they search for their best fit for a college. It’s a great networking site and offers some excellent perspective and ideas for those interested in the best colleges.

5. Carol Utay – This educator focuses on the function of the brain and helping individuals to realize its full potential. Her mission is to help children with their learning and she uses Twitter as an excellent forum to do just that.

6. Boost Teacher – This educator has twenty-two years of experience teaching others. She is an enrichment teacher and takes us through her daily adventures in this role while also focusing on the integration of biotechnology. This Twitter site makes for some very interesting discussions.

7. Internet for Classr – This Twitter site works as a resource site which makes it unique and relevant to so many educators. The focus here is to unite teachers of K-12 students with parents and students. It offers a platform for interactive classrooms making it an interesting perspective.

8 . Kathy Schrock – As a Google certified teacher, this in and of itself makes her Twitter postings interesting. However she has also spent much time in the education field and serves as a district Tech Director as well as an Adobe Education leader. She has some fantastic experience and therefore her posts are quite intriguing.

Mary Ward is a freelance author and writes about education topics, such as how to research online university reviews, accreditation, and more.