BenCorman.com

Paved with good intentions

It had been my intention to have a grip of new material for you after the tour ended. There is so much I want to write about. And getting to speak with a few of you on tour really gave me the courage and confidence to dive head first into so many of the projects I've been considering but haven't gone ahead and pulled the trigger on.

So what happened? Life, as it so often does, got in the way. First there was all the work to prepare Rudius Media to go on hiatus. And helping where I could with author migrations. Then there was getting Thrill Seekers running.

And there's been my own reluctance to write. This is a pretty big transition for me. I'm moving out of Los Angeles, I'm deciding what I want to be when I grow up. And it's hard to bring any perspective to these events as they're unfolding. I'm really only any good in hindsight.

So I've been unwinding the IT infrastructure around here and I've been using that as an excuse to stay lazy and complacent. To not write, to procrastinate.

I'm a very private person and when I get stressed or when I'm dealing with something, I tend to withdraw. To hide. And it's a shame because as much as I love this space where I get to write, it's one of the first casualties when I'm trying to sort my own head out.

The bad news is that you're going to have to endure a couple more weeks of radio silence. I leave tonight (in about 25 minutes actually) for 10 days vacation out of the country. I'm not going to say where but I'll write about it when I'm back (and I'll have photos!) and it'll make sense why I didn't post the destination beforehand.

The good news is that I'm once again feeling that need to write. I've got a few short stories already started and I've got a list of about a thousand things I want to write about my life and the tour and about working for Rudius. I know some of you have written to me with questions about Rudius, all I can ask is that you're patient and I'll answer what I can eventually. I put a lot of myself into Rudius over the last few years and this last month hasn't been easy.

In the meantime, thanks for reading. Thank you for your comments and thanks for your emails even if I don't always get back to you. I do appreciate that you find the time to check in every day. And I promise I'll get better about updating.

Announcing Thrill Seekers: Wherein we confess our sins.

Thrill Seekers: Wherein we confess our sins

There's been some question, now that Rudius Media is on hiatus, of whether this blog will survive. I'm happy to report that the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.

This site will go on. And writing will resume soon.

But that's not what I'm writing about today. As many of you have probably noticed, the messageboard is no more. And while I was happy to see parts of that awful place die the death they so richly deserved, I was sad to see the writing board go. I know that some posters referred to the writing board as the A/V kids of the RMMB but it was where I found a home early on and my work there lead directly to me working with Rudius and Tucker.

So it's safe to say that it had a special place in my heart.

A few of us have gotten together to see if we can keep the magic of the writing board alive, and maybe, grow it into its own community. While the internet is still primarily a place where the written word thrives I think we all recognize that there are many forms of expression and we can all benefit from connecting with others who share similar interests. So we've expanded beyond just a 'writing board' to a community that welcomes anyone who makes things and who is passionate about the things they make. Or at least that's what we hope it becomes.

It's a work in progress and we're still in the growing pains stage but, I'm pleased to announce Thrill Seekers. Please come by and check it out.

On tour: Heading Home

The tour is winding itself down and we're slowly working our way back to Los Angeles. Charlie Hoehn flew home this morning and while we'll see him when we pass through Denver, his leaving really drives home that this is almost over.

It's been a long two months. And when I think of all the miles covered and all the venues we premiered in and all the bars where we met fans, I have a hard time holding it all in my head. It feels like a lifetime. Like I can't remember what my life was like before this tour started.

People ask me, every night they ask me, what the best story from the tour is. And I tell them about the craziness that surrounds us. The girls who throw themselves at Tucker, the fans who buy us drinks. I tell them about the after parties and what it's like to bask in the reflected fame of what Tucker has built. I tell them about a world I never expected to find myself in. Where we are the rock stars and everyone else is looking in.

And I tell them these things because that's what they want to hear. I don't blame them, if I was standing where they were, that's what I'd want as well. But for me, the best moments are never going to be the craziest. The best moments, the ones I'm going to carry with me are the ones where we, the crew, are all just hanging out. It's all the dinners we had together and all the late nights in random hotel rooms. It's all the hours we spent together on the bus crossing the country.

I don't know how the movie is going to do. That particular drama is unfolding and will continue to unfold. If I didn't believe in this project I would have never volunteered to be a part of it. Now that we're almost done, I have no regrets. We all came together to do something pretty amazing, we took care of each other when we needed to and if nothing else, I'm going to walk away from this with friends that I hope I'll keep for the rest of my life. For all my writing about how the only thing that matters in life are your experiences, without anyone to share those experiences with, life is a hollow, empty affair.

I don't know what my next step is. It's almost guaranteed that I'll move out of LA but beyond that, where I'm going and whether I stay in the country or not, is all up in the air. And I know I'll write more about the tour when I've had some time to process everything that's happened and I've gained some perspective on it all.

It's been instructive. I've had a front row seat to just how much work it takes to be successful as an artist. I thought I knew how hard it was. As it turns out, I had no idea. But going forward, I have a better idea the path that I'll have to walk.

So, stay tuned to this space. There will be a lot here in the coming months.

And if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for tonight's event.

On Tour: Summer Camp - LA Premiere

Wherein we all get to walk down the red carpet. Look ma, I'm famous!

On Tour: Summer Camp - Jace

Jace: I'm the assistant tour manager.
Me: You're the assistant to the tour manager.

Stay Classy Jace. Stay Classy.