Every now and then we hear from your heart...and it means so much. 

Thank you, Danielle, your words have lifted our team.

I requested one of your bereavement packages for the loss of a child. I lost my baby boy            

Sweet! We have prepared for this for months, now, and it's here! Our website has been updated and we are partnering with a new hosting company. Many thanks to DL Church Websites for their generous donation of time and services to help Ben Min grow! We believe this step will help to broaden our outreach and become more interactive with those who reach out to Ben Min for needed grief support. Please make a visit to our site and if we can help you or a loved one in the stormy time of grieving, please give us shout and order a bereavement care package. Now is the time to lift that silence and do something to help yourself!

http://benjaminministries.org/

As we celebrate our gift of freedom this July 4th weekend, please find a way to encourage others. Now is a great time to Shine the light of Christ and love others! If you are struggling in any way, get on your knees and talk to the one who knows you the best, and loves you the most. He is always listening and has a way through your struggle. Just look to Him...you won't regret it!!!

Happy 4th of July weekend!

Our God is a mighty God who reveals Himself mysteriously. Just as He has created us with free will, that we may or may not choose to have a relationship with Him, He allows Himself to be seen by those who are seeking Him. Yes, seeking Him is the key. And the promise we are given, is that if we seek Him, we will find Him...

But from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul. (Deuteronomy 4:29

You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. (Matthew 7:7)

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. (Luke 11:9)

When we lost our baby boy, Ben, eighteen years ago, we sought God as never before! It was our way through one of the greatest storms that we had ever faced in this world. No one would argue this, for many do not recover from the loss of their child. They give up on living by withdrawing from any kind of normalcy that they may have ever known and some will even take their own life, for they can't bare to go on living. All too many become hopelessly overwhelmed with the sorrow of their loss. We see this in Benjamin Ministries, time and time again, as folks tell us it has been years since their child passed and they are continuing to struggle so very deeply. They tell us they are so happy to have found our ministry. They had been searching...seeking to find something that could lighten their burden. They thank us for what we do and can't wait to receive their package. The personalized document that our graphic designers intricately design for them, with hearts that mourn right along with them, becomes a priceless treasure. It provides a healing touch that is as mysterious as the God of this universe.

For over 14 years, Ben Min has had the privilege to help parents who have lost a child, spouses who have lost a spouse, and any other who is experiencing the sorrowful loss of a loved one. God has clearly called us to this mission field to help people who are seeking a path of comfort, relief...and peace. We cannot wait to hear the many stories one day in heaven. The few who have taken time out of their busy schedules to share their story of how their package has helped them is what continues to drive us forward in this heart wrenching ministry. 

To be truthful, just as grief is the hardest work we will ever have to do on planet earth, the work in a grieving ministry is also some of the hardest work to be done! We truly sorrow with those who request our packages. Many tears are shed. Many prayers go before the heavens as we ask God for the strength, the peace, and the comfort to keep shining His light and helping those in their grief. I know why there is a lack of Christ based bereavement support, now. It is because it is simply hard and tiring to do this work and not become discouraged or depressed and quit. Too few will step forward to help those who are grieving!

On this day, as I am writing this message that God has prompted me to write to any who will take the time to read it, I am once again seeking God as never before. For the last two and one-half years that Ben Min has had the challenge to become self supporting, we have seen God continue to provide the needed finances to deliver our bereavement care packages as a free gift of the ministry. It is in the heart of this ministry to be that rare place that a free gift can be found, with no strings attached. There are some that would call us crazy for this endeavor, as there is money to be made. 

You can't give something from nothing. They would say.

The only explanation as to how we have done this for over fourteen years now, is God's grace and that alone.

God has shown Himself over and over in Ben Min; that is, when we were down to that last $100 in the bank account, God has miraculously provided the finances to help us order the supplies needed to keep sending out those packages. During hard times and in better times, He has worked in the hearts of those who understand grief to help us keep doing this work. To keep these priceless packages to the bereaved that rare and priceless free gift, is so crazy that it is just plain cool!

Well, today, we are once again down to that last $100. It was just last evening that a small grouping of our work crew had the privilege to come together and assemble seven-teen packages with the last of our supplies. As the month of May set a record high number of requests for this year,  with more than one-hundred requests made, we still have thirty-two packages to assemble and deliver for May. And, the June requests are rolling in. 

The enemy of God, wants to see this ministry halted and stopped all together. His is spouting his lies that we, will have to hold one or many packages back, and he wants us to believe that Ben Min's days are over. The Ben Min family will not fall prey to these lies. The enemy can, talk to the hand, for these words will simply, and once again, fall on deaf ears. Today, our hearts, souls, and minds will embrace the promise of our great and mighty God...

If we seek Him, He will be found. He will once again and with great magnitude declare His power and majesty.

If you have most graciously taken the time to read this post than we would ask you to be a prayer warrior on Ben Min's behalf. Please pray that God will work through the hearts of those He wants to help the bereaved. If you can help, the process to donate to Ben Min has been greatly simplified. Giving on-line is both safe and secure. Just follow this link...

http://benjaminministries.org/donate/

and with a couple of clicks you can help us continue to help so many devastated and grieving hearts. If you are not comfortable with on-line giving, than please feel free to send a check or money order to:

Benjamin Ministries

990 Calkins Road

Rochester, NY 14623

Any amount will help us. Please also remember that shopping through our Amazon and Shop.com referral links can help us out. Amazon and Shop.com will give back a percentage of your purchase to Ben Min. Follow these links to learn more...

http://benjaminministries.org/how-to-help/shopping.cfm

One last simple and effective thing you can do with just a click is to share this post on your page and to other social media outlets. When a need is communicated, awareness can go a long way!!! Perhaps you can give $5.00, but someone in your group of family and friends may be able to give $20.00 or more. 

And just so you know, when Dan and I began this ministry I made a promise to God that we would not be one of those begging ministries. We make it a priority to avoid consistently pleading for finances. There have been just a handful of moments when we have made a request for help. This is one of those moments.

We want to keep working and truly believe that this is also God's will for Ben Min. Perhaps, He wants you to be apart of the blessing! 

Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. 

II Corinthians 9:7 

Many of you know that Benjamin Ministries includes helpful books on bereavement in the bereavement care packages we offer as a gift of our ministry. One such book is called Experiencing Grief, by H. Norman Wright. I was recently reminded about a very painstaking truth that so many who have lost a loved one can not seem to wrap their minds around, but is vital to comprehend and simply come face to face with. 

It is vividly stated in the following quote:

  Grieving is moving through several levels of denial. Each stage brings home the reality of the loss a bit deeper and more painfully. 

  We accept it first in our heads, then in our feelings, and finally we adjust life's pattern to reflect the reality of what has occurred. 

We often become so comfortable with living that we develop expectations that death won't be knocking at our door anytime soon, or that of our family members and friends. When it does come knocking, the shock of the reality of death is what puts this denial in motion. Take a look at the next quote, which is really the kicker taken from this very helpful book:

   The energy expended to keep denial operating, drains us, and in time we can be damaged emotionally, delaying our recovery.

Ouch! This is so painfully true. There are folks who have lost loved ones that seem to just give up on living. They withdraw from life as they once knew it and become dormant in their dwelling places. Other folks that seem unable to come face to face with the death of their loved one cry out for attention and understanding. Anytime you speak with them or hear them talking they are solely focussed on the death of this loved one and and how they just don't know how they will make it from one day to the next. There are also others who go back to the routines of life as though nothing has happened to them. In many situations they make their schedules even busier then before that loved one passed, for in so doing, they diminish any idol time that would allow them to reflect on their painful loss. 

Denial is the underlying cause for each of these unhealthy reactions to a heartfelt loss. Denial must be overcome in order to carry on to the new normal that awaits you. It is okay to remember your loved one, but you must also understand that God still has you here for good reason otherwise you simply wouldn't be here. As God is the one who gives us breath and takes it away, please look to Him for determining what He wants you to be doing while you still have The Breath of Life (Genesis 2:7, 6:17, Job 27:3, 33:4). 

When you come to realize what your purpose for living is, (and hopefully you can list many purposes) denial will fade away and you will begin to find the joy of living again. When the next sorrowful death comes knocking, as it is sure to do so, you will be a little stronger, a little wiser, and a little more prepared to face the denial hurdle and look to the Creator once again for what He wants you to learn and take with you to yet, another, new normal. 

Bereavement is the hardest work we will ever have to do on this earth. I am convinced of this. But, if you have invited the God of the universe to walk with you though this journey, you can do it. You can work through the many phases of grief recovery and truly experience the joy in life again. It's His promise, and truly one that many of His children have come to claim!

If you are struggling in your grieving journey today, please feel free to write to us at: wwwbenjaminministries.org

We would be happy to help in anyway that we can.

It's so true. When someone loses a loved one we forget that it is a life long journey. We act as though if it's two or three weeks since the death, we better not say or do anything to remind them that they lost a loved one.

"What?" I'll say again, "What?"

We are working hard every day in the work of the Benjamin Ministries to undo some of our very wrong misconceptions relating to the grieving journey. You've me heard me say it numerous times, and I will again, 

"Bereavement is a life long journey, especially the loss of a child. We will never forget our child and special loved ones. We appreciate it when you don't forget either. Please say their name. If you have a memory, a laughable moment you remember, a touching one, or something they helped you learn, or think more deeply about, please, please share this. We love hearing how our loved ones impacted you and the world we live in."

So now that I've shared that (it wasn't where I intended to start, but I'll call it Spirit led) I would like to share this. I posted that we had a wonderful work night, this past Thursday night, at the Ben Min conference center. We assembled a record high of 51 packages (at least). Normally, we would have mailed those packages by now. I had hoped they would be in the mail yesterday. Oh, bother. Well, actually, no...

What I have learned over and over again in this ministry, and, quite frankly, in life, is this: God's time is the best time!" Back then (six or seven years ago now) I would have panicked and felt laden with guilt that the packages were sitting idle and were not mailed yet. I would have felt like Ben Min let God down, and I would have told Him how sorry I was. 

Today, I now understand something new. It is true that we should to do our best to be efficient in all that we do, but if accomplishing a task does not work within the mental time frames we have determined, it's okay. Those feelings of guilt that I have had numerous times when packages were mailed later than I had hoped that they would be, have, also, numerous times been put to rest. That's because there have been numerous stories that we have received from Ben Min package recipients who have shared with us how their package came to them at the best time—right when they truly needed that encouragement and blessing the most! How could that be? Because God knows. 

You see, as we continue to submit the will of Benjamin Ministries to God, He will continue to work miracles like these in the lives that reach out to the services that Benjamin Ministries provides. He, too, understands that bereavement is a life long journey. He will be with those who mourn a loss every step of the way. He knows we will have those days that are just plain old downers in and out of this journey. And if we choose to stay close to Him, He will show Himself to us, that is, He will have just what we need to make it through those days, sort of like a Ben Min bereavement care package.

Now please let me tell you this, if you have more down days than you do happy days or at least days that you are content, then you should truly consider seeing a professional counselor. As you work through your bereavement journey, you should be having fewer and fewer of those down days. In a healthy bereavement journey, the down days should lessen, but will never disappear altogether, and that is normal and okay. 

So, 51+ Benjamin Ministries bereavement care packages are in the mail today, and I am completely confident that the time they will reach their recipients is God's appointed time. Will you pray with us? 

Please ask the Lord to use these packages to comfort hearts and bring peace to souls that have no rest. If the ones receiving their packages have not accepted God's gift of eternal salvation, please pray they would say, "Yes" to God immediately, for not one of us is guaranteed tomorrow.

So, there's no panic now...

As usual, it is a bittersweet when Ben Min packages are on their way, 

but it's always in our deepest prayers, that upon their arrival, 

they will make for a very special and appointed day !!!

The day Ben went home to heaven is a day we take to do something out of the ordinary. It helps to take what would be a sad and sorrowful day, into an adventurous and joyful day. This year I had an opportunity to make a special video to soothe, calm, and remind you of God's amazing creation. 7 minutes of soothing sound and sight to put you or your baby, child or loved one to sleep or in a restful state...

"But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." 2 Peter 3:8,9

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVnI4T8xuMo

So I have this special ring. It's a ring I have worn for close to 18 years now. It will be a ring I wear for my entire life...It's the first time I have ever felt compelled to say why.

It is a simple ring; there's nothing fancy or extraordinary about it. It doesn't capture attention or dazzle the eyes. I haven't had any more then the amount of the fingers on my right hand, the same hand that I wear this ring on, care to even make a comment about this ring. It's just my special ring, and that's it. But what makes it so special? 

When our son, Ben, went home to heaven on April 29, 1997, it was surreal. As grief goes, and because the loss of a child is a life long journey, I am often carried back to that day. The final moments of Ben's life on this earth have become what I might call a two screen event. 

On one screen the scene is grim. The horrible accident that would be the cause to why Ben could no longer remain in his fleshly body is portraying a helpless Mom alone in her van, watching her baby struggle for God's precious gift of breath. As each breath becomes more and more faint, there is a sense of finality that is heart wrenching. 

"Could this really be happening? It just can't be possible. It must be the worst nightmare I have ever had. Wake up, wake up!" the mother thinks, as she calls for help to anyone outside the van that may hear her desperate cries for help. 

But when the overturned vehicle is lifted and baby and mother are rescued and brought outside from the utter chaos from within, it is clear that baby Benjamin is no longer breathing. He is gone. The mother falls to the ground with pleas of desperation and whales that fill the accident scene with horror. It is dark...dismal...and hopeless. She may never return to who she once was.

The other screen portrays an entirely different setting. The mother and baby are also seen in the chaotic overturned vehicle. There is still a sense of helplessness as the mother pleads for help to save her baby's life. But the mother seems to be speaking to someone. She is heard asking if the man whose voice she hears from outside the mini van can help her to save her struggling child. She has already admitted the impossible to this man. She believes her baby is dying. The instructions he gives her change her from within. The sense of helplessness she portrayed just moments ago, dissipates, as she follows the amazing wisdom from this kind stranger whose words are simple and straightforward. 

"Just talk to him, Mam." 

She then talks to her sweet, sweet, Benjamin. 

"Mama loves you Ben. I love you so much, but it is time for you to go to heaven. Jesus loves you, too, Ben. He will be with you now. You can go with Him to heaven. We will miss you so much and can't wait to see you again one day, but go to Jesus now Ben."

And Ben's spirit is carried away by angels to the glorious heaven's above. There is the most amazing peace that now fills the van just moments before it is lifted and Mama and child are rescued. The sense and presence of an almighty and all powerful God is felt by the mother, and a comfort beyond measure is understood in those lingering moments. She knows that Jesus is with her!

Once outside the vehicle, as the mother lays eyes on her breathless child, she can not bear the separation. Just as on the first screen, the mother falls to the ground with horrifying whales that bite through the hearts of the responders who are committed to help. But this time a responder is seen moving to this grief stricken Mother. He picks her up with his hands placed securely on her shoulders. He looks her intently in the eyes as one who would only do so if he had known this mother before laying eyes on her in this moment of time.

He speaks with affirmation and compassion; his words are cutting and directive. 

"Pam, you must be strong for your two children who are alive and here now. They need you more then ever."

She knows the truth that he speaks and her faith becomes a stark reality.  

"As you are my strength, O God, and not in my own, I must comfort and console my two children who are here with me now. They need me so, and I need them." 

This is her silent prayer to her creator, her savior, her heavenly father.

And immediately she finds her way to her son and daughter who are deeply shaken and in need of their loving mother more than any other time in their existence. There is hope in the love that they share. It is compelling. It conveys the sense that they will make it through this life changing event. They will find the faith needed to heal, restore and carry on. 

So what do these two screens have to do with my special ring? 

With Mothers Day just days after Ben's departure from this world, my husband, Dan, who has loved me with a genuine sense of agape love, knew that this first special day in my grieving journey would be one of the hardest, if not the hardest, to get through. He wanted to give me something that would direct my spirit to the remembrance of Ben in an uplifting and tender way. It would be the hand of God that would lead him to find and purchase this very ring that has become a part of my right hand, beginning on that Mother's Day, in 1997. 

What drew him to the ring was the color of the stones, for they are aquamarine and representative of Ben's birth month; March. He was delighted to find a ring such as this with so many aquamarine stones. The crazier thing, is that through the many tears of joy in receiving this ring from, Dan, it was I who would point out that the number of the aquamarine stones exactly match the the birth order of our dear, sweet, Ben. He was our seventh child, and there are seven aquamarine stones in the ring. Perfect! He also had no idea that giving me this ring would begin a pattern that I would soon learn that would become my way of escape every time grief's ugly grip would try to rob me of God's amazing peace, given to me, when I need it most. 

There is no question that when I look at this ring, I could choose to reflect on the sorrow of missing Ben. It could be a constant reminder of sadness.

But as God led Dan to this ring, in plain certainty, when looking at this beautiful ring and pondering on our Ben who we know is in heaven (not one doubt there) it would also help me to one day realize that when my mind takes me back to that 29th day of April, 1997, there are two screens playing out the depiction of Ben's final moments on this earth. One screen reveals the ugliness of death; the other reveals God's very presence in the midst of ugliness. The God who sent messengers that day to direct a helpless and lost mother to talk to her child before he breathed his last, and to be strong and courageous for her living children in the moments they needed it most, is the same God whom Ben dwells with in paradise. I am certain that God didn't leave me alone, and He never will! The screen I choose to ponder on sets the course of where my mind will settle. 

When I look at my special ring it is a constant reminder of Ben, our seventh, child, in heaven. That makes me happy. When I think back to April 29th, 1997, I think of Ben going to heaven. That gives me peace...amazing peace! 

It's a special ring, yes, it is. Nothing fancy but priceless, and part of me for as long as I am breathing!

When Dan and I began Benjamin Ministries to help fill a void in Christ centered bereavement in our local area, around the country and the world, we were convicted to never charge for the bereavement care packages that were carefully developed to help meet the needs for those who are in the bereaving process. God made it very clear to us that He wanted to show His faithfulness in providing the needs this type of ministry would have. For the 12 years that Benjamin Ministries has been reaching out to those in the grieving process God has been faithful. He has supplied the needs of the ministry in conjunction with the number of requests for packages.

This has become very compelling in the last few months as the Lord has sought to bring the attention of Benjamin Ministries to many more bereaving people around our great nation. From January through March Ben Min delivered its normal amount of requests ranging from 10-15 packages per month, with March seeing a total of 17 requests. When April brought requests of 40 packages, we were amazed at the increase, but blessed that the needed funds were available to deliver each package. Then came another record breaking month of requests in May when we received 92 requests. Again the finances came in to allow us to deliver each package. We are currently working on June packages and currently have the needed funds to deliver each of the 70 requests that came in for that month. Half of those packages have gone out and the next half will go out over the next two weeks. That brings us to July requests, all 133 of them, bringing Ben Min's requests to an all-time high. Well, incredibly so, the funds brought into the ministry in July were also an all-time high for Ben Min!

It is a bit unnerving to not know how or from where God will bring in the funds Ben Min needs to continue reaching out to those who are hurting with our free care packages. Not more than 5 months ago we had a surplus in our bank account and could order our materials freely as the need arose for more. I am certain that God has chosen this time and unique place we are at in this ministry to clearly demonstrate His provision to His work. He wants it to be very evident that He alone "owns the cattle on 1000 hills" and desires that we trust Him all the more.

It is boldly stated on our website and brochure that our bereavement packages will remain a free gift for as long as God provides. It is through the generous donations of those who have a heart for the bereaved that He is providing for this work...His work. Though we are currently relying on His provision month by month in this phase of our ministry, we are thrilled to see Him do what He promises...remain faithful!

As I write this, we do not have all of the funds we will need to deliver all of those 133 July requests as of yet. We will begin work on the first half of those packages by the third week of August and will need to rely on God's faithfulness once again for the second half of our July requests. As we learn how to trust Him more, we hope you will follow our mission and do the same.

He is faithful! He never fails, He is the provider of any need...the key is to follow Him and let Him lead and guide and direct, and speak to you with His still small voice. He is always speaking, but we have to be still and listen. In this fast paced, hurry, hurry, world, it is hard to be still and listen, but we must train ourselves to do so.

And remember this…you can never out give God! If you are in a position of need right now, find someone or some type of work to give to. God loves a faithful giver, and the more we give to help others, the more He is faithful to meet our needs! This is a great mystery, but so very true!

As we listen to Him, He will direct us, lead us to places we never imagined we would arrive at and show us how to grow stronger than we ever thought we could be! Are you ready for the journey?

To Him be all glory and honor and praise...Amen!

"Your mercy, O Lord, is in the heavens;Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds." Psalm 36:5

There is a Benjamin Ministries work night tonight in the Rochester, NY, area. We need many hands to do the growing work of Ben Min. Please come on out and lend your helping hand.

If you aren't in the area, will you hold us up on prayer? Our prayer warriors are an essential part of the this ministry work as well.

Together we are...

"Shining the Word to the World"

Follow the link for details on our work night tonight...

http://benjaminministries.org/resources/events.cfm

Hey Friends of Benjamin Ministries,

Is anyone interested in a virtual support group?

You would need a device with a camera, a Gmail account, and to be registered with Google Hang Out.

 Support from those who can empathize can turn our world around!

Please let us know.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 

4 who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will 

be able to comfort those who are in [b]any affliction with 

the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
II Corinthians 2:3,4