Bern's Beach

Further evidence why McCain/Palin suck more than Obama/Biden

2008-10-24T13:15:00.005-04:00

I stumbled across this today and found it to be an interesting point of view. It's attributed to Roger Leisner, but I cannot confirm the source or accuracy of the information. With all the irrelevant bullshit floating around about Barack Obama, this seems like a good perspective.

Obama/Biden vs McCain/Palin, what if things were switched around? ...think about it.

Would the country's collective point of view be different?
Could racism be the culprit?

Ponder the following:
What if the Obamas had paraded five children across the stage, including a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?
What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review?
What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?
What if Michelle Obama was the wife who...became addicted to painkillers?
What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five? (The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s.)

What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?
What if Obama couldn't read from a teleprompter?

What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included discipline problems and a record of crashing planes?
What if Obama was the one who was known to display...a serious anger management problem?What if Michelle Obama's family had made their money from beer distribution?

You could easily add to this list.....
Educational Background:Barack Obama: Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations. Harvard - Juris Doctor(J.D.)Magna Cum Laude

Joseph Biden: University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science. Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor(J.D.)

vs.

John McCain: United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Sarah Palin: Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study University of Idaho - 2 semesters -journalism Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Education isn't everything, but this is about the two highest offices in the land as well as our standing in the world.

You make the call.

I Hate Politics Season

2008-10-10T10:28:00.006-04:00

It's hard NOT to pay attention to the Presidential candidates this time of year. They're everywhere! As someone who is not passionate about one side or the other, I plan to vote for the Presidential candidate who pisses me off the least. So far, the McCain/Palin ballot is really pissing me off. I see clips of these "normal" people in the crowds at their rallies, asking questions and making narrowminded statements. And the fact that other people in the crowd actually cheer wildly and McCain and Palin just smile and let them continue, is amazing to me.

Some jackass stood up the other day at a rally and started going off about Obama being a terrorist. Are you really that fucking stupid you bigotted right-wing asshole? This character is throwing out "Socialist" and shit like that. Do you really believe the venom coming out of your mouth? Personally, I am less afraid of the Islamic extremist terrorists than I am of these crazy white guys right here in the USA. For all I know, these radical, normal-looking, white men could be living next door to me or waiting in line with me at the movie theater.

At one point I actually had some thoughts of voting for McCain. Of course, that was before he pussed out and compromised his own beliefs to enable his campaign to get funding from right-wingers. In the event that McCain actually manages to squeak out a victory over Obama in the Election, I really hope McCain goes back to the old John McCain and tells all those radical right-wing supporters to fuck off. I mean, once the Election is over, he doesn't need their money any more. And c'mon, he's way too old to expect to be re-elected 4 years later.

Come November 4th, I, along with many other voters, will be voting for the lesser of two evils. Right now, my choice is Barack Obama. And frankly, George W. Bush has fucked all of us over so bad that it probably doesn't matter. Asshole.

Ball State Football is Quite Entertaining

2008-09-06T18:50:00.005-04:00

So maybe Jason Whitlock has a point. He's definitely a polarizing character, but personally I enjoy most of his articles and interviews he does. If you're not familiar with Whitlock, he's originally from Indianapolis; was a standout offensive lineman at Warren Central in the 80's blocking for Jeff George; played football at Ball State; and is currently a sportswriter for the Kansas City Star. Check out his Wikipedia entry if you care for more info about the guy, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Whitlock. Anyway, he regularly calls into The Drive with JMV on local Indy station AM 1260 in the afternoons. JMV challenged him last week before the Ball State season opener to put something on the line if the Cardinals don't win at least 10 games this season. This of course is after Whitlock's hyping of his alma mater as a potential BCS buster. After all this talk, I took time the other night to watch the Ball State vs Navy game on Friday. Those Cardinals sure are fun to watch! They remind me of Boise State from a few years ago, but not quite as innovative or risky as those teams were. Apparently Ball State has scheduled several non-Saturday games this season, which is a great way to get on national TV and build up some BCS hype like teams in the past such as Boise State, Louisville, Utah, etc in recent years. Best of luck to the Cardinals and maybe I'll make the hour drive to Muncie for one of their games before it gets too cold out!

In comparison, my beloved Buckeyes sucked up the field today against Ohio U and were lucky to get the victory. Hopefully the Buckeyes let loose next Saturday night against USC and put up a good fight against the Trojans. I have a feeling it could get ugly early though, especially if Beanie Wells is not 100%. We'll see...

Toys R Us Welcome Email

2008-08-29T12:57:00.005-04:00

So I signed up to receive emails from Toys R Us last week. No big deal right? I'm expecting to receive an email once a week, and maybe an extra one here and there for special sales or holidays. I am now getting bombarded with the same fucking email from Toys R Us, over and over again: Welcome to Toys "R" Us! it says. It's haunting me in my sleep at night. I received the first one last Friday 8/22 at about 1:00 PM EST, then the next one came in Tues 8/26 at 6:27 AM, again on Wed 8/27 at 6:27 AM, then on Thurs 8/28 at 6:26 AM, and now today Fri 8/29 I got one at 6:30 AM and again at 12:12 PM! And I shit you not, it's the exact same email! I am vaguely familiar with how email marketing campaigns work, triggered messages, welcome message, etc., but I think there's a glitch here and their email marketing provider needs to fix it or a bunch of people will start hitting the SPAM button or Unsubscribing. Very poor execution by somebody either at Toys R Us or at their email provider, which from the return path source code looks like it's a company called eDialog. Somebody better get their shit together.

Shopping for a Hotel Room

2008-07-22T16:50:00.005-04:00

So I'm trying to book a room for an out of town wedding that my wife is in, coming up next month. Easy enough, right? You can't watch 5 minutes of primetime TV without being bombarded with commercials for companies like Hotwire.com, Expedia.com, Hotels.com, and Priceline.com. I'm probably forgetting some of them...like the one with the Travel Gnome--not sure which one that is. Either way, the marketing folks at these companies are doing a killer job coming up with catchy jingles that get stuck in your head and compelling reasons to visit their websites, and many of them are fairly humorous--the first 10 times you see them anyway.

The other day my wife initially gets online and does a Yahoo search for "hotels" in the area we are going to in northern Indiana. She goes to each of the regular hotel chain websites that show up at the top of the list and uses their "check availability" features. Of course the rates are all jacked up due to a "special event" going on that weekend--Welcome Week for Notre Dame University! yeah! I suggested we check out some of these travel websites to see if we can really get a better rate.

We initially went to Expedia.com, and identified 3 possible hotels that are less than $150/night and still within a decent distance from where the rehearsal dinner, church, and most importantly the reception will be held. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention how pissed off I was by this point because the bride & groom failed to block off any rooms at any hotels in the area at a preferred rate for their out of town guests. Seriously, how inconsiderate is that? When we got married last year I was able to block off rooms at a really nice Hampton Inn for less than $100/night for our guests, plus lined up a bus to transport their drunk asses to and from the reception. It took literally 20 minutes to get that all lined up for our guests. I can't believe I am stuck dealing with this bullshit now. Back to the hotel search...so we check out Hotwire.com and it's really confusing and doesn't tell you the name of the actual hotels. What a waste of time! I jumped over to hotels.com and their mapping feature sucked and the prices were not any better than Expedia's. I think all of those companies are owned by the same company anyway, so I am not sure what the deal is there. I went to Google and did another search and this time Priceline.com came up at the top of the list, so I checked them out.

First of all, William Shatner is the balls, so the first thing I see is a picture of him doing a kung fu chop. This is a good start. i hav a feeling ol' Bill Shatner is gonna come through for me just like Denny Crane on Boston Legal. Speaking of Boston Legal, it's a great show, yet I never hear anyone say they watch it. Apparently no one has any shame to admit they watch Grey's Anatomy, but I am guessing most people don't volunteer the fact that they watch Boston Legal for the simple fact that they do not want to be associated in any way with Boston. Sorry, I simply do not like Red Sox or patriots fans & couldn't resist the jab. As I was saying, I'm on the Priceline website and trying to see if they can get me a better deal. I find one in an ideal location for about $120/night. I just went ahead and called the hotel direct and reserved the room. Done right? Nope. I get a call today from the hotel to tell me they need to adjust my price for "special event" pricing, which jacks the hightly rate up so that i would have been paying over $300 for the 2 nights. Fuck that. I'll be sure to write a shitty review for them somewhere online. So I get back on Priceline and this time there is a room available at a Holiday Inn for like $265 total, with taxes and everything--if I pay up front. What the hell, we need to stay somewhere right? I can't NOT drink at the reception. So, we're all set, I hope. If this works out well, I'll be sure to hit up Priceline again for the next wedding we have to go to later this year, and just skip over those other sites, although Expedia was fine for the most part. Although if the room sucks, my wife will inevitably kill me, so maybe I'll wait to see how this goes before I book the next one.

You Can't Make This Stuff Up

2008-01-15T16:40:00.000-05:00

Seriously:
I guarantee some smart-ass intern whipped this headline together just to see if it would fly. Totally thinking, "who the hell actually reads writeups about women's basketball--no one will notice." Much to his surprise, it slipped through the cracks and is now public fodder for all of us. The CBS42.com website must have a ridiculous number of hits.

Buckeyes primed for title run in '08

2008-01-08T11:07:00.000-05:00

After that somewhat disappointing performance by the young Buckeyes in last night's BCS Championship game against LSU, as a Buckeyes fan one could be depressed about the ass beating that lasted the final 3 quarters of the game. Any knowledgeable OSU fan can admit that these Buckeyes overachieved this year considering we all thought this would be a great rebuilding year with all the underclassmen playing. It was nice to see some of the young guys getting some quality playing time last night so they will be better prepared to handle the excitement and adrenaline if they make it to the championship game again next season.

There have been rumors that LB James Laurinaitis, DE Vernon Gholston, and CB Malcolm Jenkins may leave school early and declare eligible for the NFL Draft this year.

Personally, I was not that impressed with Laurinaitis this season when OSU actually played decent competition, especially in last nights game vs LSU. He had a ton of tackles, but he also was made the bitch of LSU linemen on several occasions in the second half and failed to cover (or assign anyone to be accountable for) the TE on at least 2 huge plays. He needs to stick around for one more year and fine tune his decision making, leadership skills, and overall size. If he is able to do that, he should be a top 5 pick in the '09 draft and will be able to be an instant impact player in the NFL just like AJ Hawk was last year for the Packers.

Gholston is a beast and should just go to the pro's as he would be an instant starter for whoever drafts him in the first round this year. OSU seems to replace big DL every year with quality players, so I am not too worried about his departure.

Jenkins could also benefit from another season in college, but cover corners in the NFL are tough to find, so I am sure advisors will convince him to go pro. He would no doubt be one of the top 3 CB's drafted, along with Aqib Talib from Kansas and Mike Jenkins from South Florida.

Everyone else should be back and better due to the great experiences they have had this season, especially in the championship game.

Najeh Poop Davenport

2008-01-08T10:06:00.000-05:00

I caught the late news the other night on WISH TV 8, the local CBS affiliate here in Indianapolis, and I swear I heard veteran sports reporter Chris Widlic refer to Pittsburgh Steelers RB Najeh Davenport as Najeh "Poop" Davenport. I think the airing was on Sat 1/5 since the Steelers-Jags game was earlier that day and it would make sense that he would be airing highlights of this game that night. I thought my ears were playing tricks on me so I even rewound the segment with my DVR and put captions on. Of course the dude doing the closed captioning had no idea what to type, so there was a long delay and then he just typed "Davenport", totally avoiding the attempt at spelling his first name or typing the word "poop". I wish I had a way of copying something from my DVR hard drive to my computer, but I just don't have the equipment to do it. Someone out there in the tubes of the internet must have it though.

For those of you who don't get the reference of "poop" in relation to Najeh Davenport, one needs only to do a google search with those words. To summarize the story, back in '02 he was a rookie with the Green Bay Packers and he managed to get into an occupied female dorm room at Barry University and popped a squat in a girl's laundry basket in her closet while she slept. He ended up agreeing to perform 100 hours of community service to get rid of the criminal charges and has been the butt of shit jokes ever since.

Back in December '07 Rich Eisen on the NFL Network made a less obvious inside joke when he said something to the effect of, "Roethlisberger dumps the pass to Davenport for a TD." Ah, gotta love the little inside jokes.

I remember back when I was a freshman living in Ross Hall at Butler University in '00 and someone pinched one off in the men's bathroom shower. I refused to use that shower the remainder of the semester and instead opted to use the showers one hall over. There are some real sick bastards out there.

Was Kevin Durant's head cropped for video game cover?

2007-12-27T16:36:00.000-05:00

Am I just seeing things or does it look like Kevin Durant's head was cropped and Photoshopped for the cover of EA Sports NCAA 08 March Madness video game? Either way it looks weird. Would it have been that difficult to find a good picture of Durant to use? I know the guy only played NCAA ball for one year, but there must be a ton of pictures of him in a Texas jersey to choose from. It looks like something we had to make in high school art class--we had to cut out all kinds of different images from magazines and create a meaningful collage without allowing any background to be visible. Whatever. It looks like one of those pictures we cut out and then combined with another picture.

Former Patriot Deion Branch infiltrating Colts territory

2007-12-12T10:37:00.000-05:00

Former New England Patriot, Super Bowl XXXIX MVP, current Seattle Seahawks WR, and all around good-guy, Deion Branch, has purchased a $2M property in Carmel, IN--an upper class suburb to the north of Indianapolis.

Deion will have plenty of other athletes to backyard BBQ with on the west side of Carmel, including Colts head coach Tony Dungy (paid $875K in '05), the NFL's highest paid DE Dwight Freeney (paid $1.6M in '06), Pacers player Jermaine O'Neal (paid over $1M several years ago, but property is worth over $2M now--nice investment), Colts DL Raheem Brock (paid $745K in '06), Pacers player Marquis Daniels (paid $400K in '06), Colts C Jeff Saturday (paid about $850K in '03), Colts long-snapper Justin Snow (paid $1M in '07), retired Colts OL Tarik Glenn (paid about $900K), and Colts TE Dallas Clark lives on the east side of Carmel (paid $360K in '03).

From what I have gathered, it is a newly built house that is still finishing up construction. Features include over 12,000 sq. ft., just over 1 acre lot, pond view, Mediterranean style, 3-story wrought iron circular staircase, Roman spa, home theater room, exercise room, tiled roof, outdoor living space with full kitchen, covered porch, 3-levels of verandas, patios and decks.

Here are a few pics:

Jamaal Tinsley's activities before the shooting

2007-12-10T12:58:00.000-05:00

I'm sure everyone (in the Indianapolis area anyway) has heard about Jamaal Tinsley's cars getting shot up over the weekend and the Pacers equipment manager Joey Qatato getting his elbows shot (ouch!).

How quickly we forget Joe Qatato and the glaringly absent "u" after "Q" in his name (all of those 2nd grade teachers are fucking liars--apparently "u" doesn't always come after "q"). I feel bad for the guy and all, but I knew I remembered his weirdly spelled last name from another story a few years back: Police: Pacers Staffer Exposes Self At Local Hotel. Insert your joke here about exposing one's self and not having functioning elbows. Good times.

All of this could have been avoided if Tinsley's car navigation system was up to date.

Jamaal and his crew were just hanging out at his downtown pad on Saturday evening doing normal "dude" stuff--drinking Lipton White Tea with Raspberry (it tastes great and gives Jamaal the protective antioxidants he needs for his active lifestyle); watching the Heisman Trophy presentation on ESPN (fuck Tebow--Run DMc deserved it); catching up on missed episodes of "Shot at Love with Tila Tequila" (somebody watches that trash and it's not me) on MTV (that crazy NBA schedule is soooo unaccommodating to the players sometimes--pussy-ass players union!); took notes while watching "Paula's Party" on the Food Network, because Jamaal needed to know how to make eggnog-custard pie for the annual Pacers holiday potluck get-together, and the guys didn't want to miss Grammy winner Amy Grant help Paula Deen prepare Christmas ham and then as an extra surprise Amy performed a Paula Deen-inspired song(!); after that, one of the guys (possibly Jamaal's buddy, "Toine") wanted to switch over to TLC to catch the first 20 minutes of an episode of "Little People, Big World" because he had missed it the other night and really wanted to know if Jeremy had a real talent for sailing in the Bahamas or not; once that was determined, Jamaal's brother, James, suggested that they head down W 38th St for a cruise and possibly some grub at the White Castle or the Steak N Shake over there--maybe run into some drunk sorority girls from Butler while they are there. Since those uppity BU girls are known to rebel against their parents on occasion, James thought it may be a good idea to pack his permitted firearm to further impress the ladies (...look at how big and powerful it is...).

Well, the drive-thru lane at White Castle was ridiculously long so by the time the guys got their food, they were pretty darn hungry and wouldn't you know it--one of the guys spilled ketchup on their white t-shirt. At 2:30 AM where can a guy go to find a XXXXL plain white t-shirt on W 38th St? The only logical place would be Marshalls--you know the one over by Meijer and behind O'Charley's--they always have stuff like that. The guys just followed the driving instructions from the navigation system and they ended up in front of this place called Cloud 9. They were all like, 'What the heck? I thought this was Marshalls right here. This Marshalls must have closed, which is weird because this is such an up-and-coming area of town. I wonder if this Cloud 9 place sells XXXXL plain white t-shirts. We better all go in and check it out.'

Upon entering this new establishment, the young men discover it is indeed NOT a department store, but is instead some kind of night club. The first indication of this was the request for ID and a pat down by the doorman. While mingling with the other patrons of this fine establishment someone from Jamaal's group overheard some fellas making fun of their guy with the big ketchup stain on his over sized white t-shirt. Someone in the group made a comment to these fellas about "trying to find a Marshalls store so we can get a steal of a deal on a 3-pack of XXXXL plain white t-shirts" and I guess the fellas had been drinking too many alcoholic beverages or possibly earlier were indulging in the inhalation of an herbal remedy so they misunderstood what was said and thought they said "we're deep frying lobsters for whores and we dare you to try and steal one of our expensive cars and the airbrushed Tupac shirt you are wearing is gay." A very common misunderstanding I am sure happens all the time in the W 38th St area of town. This guy I know who is NOT a cop, but DOES work security at RCA Dome and Conseco Fieldhouse events told me that a cop he knows told him that it is common misunderstandings like this that make those crime rates shoot up. I shit you not.

Well, that misunderstanding got the fellas all riled up so Jamaal and his crew decided they better get the hell out of there before somebody else misunderstood them and the night ended up like the Club Rio debacle last year. Remember that?--people almost had stray bullets hit the tops of their cars in the parking lot after Stephen Jackson fired shots into the air. Things were so much more fun when crazy Steve-O was here in Indy.

Of course everyone has read the rest of this latest story--shots fired downtown near the Conrad Hotel, James Tinsley chases the shooters around Monument Circle, Qatato ends up getting shot twice, Conrad employee calmly calls 911, etc. Have you heard the audio of the Conrad guy? Calm as shit--as if shots fired and a bloody dude in the lobby are normal occurrences. Although I am sure the Conrad employees see and hear some pretty funky shit because rich people do weird things.

In the end, authorities are still unclear who had the ketchup stain, however my co-worker's neighbor's brother's girlfriend works at the TJ Maxx downtown and she said Jamaal Tinsley was in the store on Sunday afternoon buying a 4-pack of XXXXL plain white t-shirts. I bet he was pleasantly surprised that TJ Maxx had the 4-packs for the same price as Marshalls usually sells the 3-packs. In the end it all worked out. Since this pack had an extra shirt in it, maybe Jamaal will be a good sport and give one of the shirts to Qatato since the one he was wearing on Sat night is probably ruined now. Wait, Joey doesn't need a new shirt--he still needs some pants though.

Some of this is true and the rest is bullshit--if you don't know the difference then you are a moron.

Reggie Miller trying to sell Indianapolis area property for $7.5M

2007-12-07T13:29:00.000-05:00

Indiana Pacer great and current TNT broadcaster Reggie Miller just listed his Indianapolis area property for sale. According to the Indy Star article, he is just downsizing and plans to purchase another smaller property somewhere in Central Indiana once this property sells. He is only asking $7.5 million for it--pretty reasonable considering it sits on 6 acres of waterfront to Geist Reservoir. Geist has always been "the" place to live if you were a big shot in Indy. I think Jeff George has a huge place in that area as well. Here is a link to a virtual tour of the exterior of Reggie's house; apparently he is only allowing interior images to be seen by qualified prospective buyers--which is normal for high profile listings like this one. The virtual tour link was created by his Realtor, Dick Richwine from Century 21 Realty Group 1. That is the same Realtor who has had former Conseco founder Stephen Hilbert's $20 Million compound listed for sale in Carmel, IN for the last year or so. I have a feeling Reggie's property may sell a bit quicker than that.

Ever notice how Brian Griese looks like Bill Lumbergh?

2007-12-07T12:48:00.000-05:00

I can't seem to be able to locate a good picture of Brian Griese, but last night when I was watching a bit of the Bears-Redskins postgame press conferences, Griese was giving off a very strong Lumbergh vibe. Maybe I was half asleep because I'm not seeing it today.

ESPN's Colin Cowherd as South Park's Saddam Hussein?

2007-11-26T10:07:00.000-05:00

I was just listening to Mike & Mike on ESPN Radio here on my computer and I had the unfortunate experience of hearing the intro to "The Herd". It does some gay intro for the show and then you hear this douchebag, Cowherd, make some sort of a "haaay" noise. It sounds dead on to the voice of Saddam Hussein in those classic South Park episodes and the movie. Especially when Saddam is trying to seduce Satan in the movie. Don't waste your brain cells listening to Cowherd's whole show, but at least try to catch the intro sometime.

Another 3-0 weekend for my teams

2007-11-20T11:47:00.001-05:00

The OSU-Michigan game was pretty ugly and boring, but we managed to get a big W out of it to wrap up sole possession of the Big 10 championship. It's a shame to see Lloyd Carr go--it has been nice these last few years to be able to count on a victory to close out the regular season. Michigan can be scary again if they bring in a solid guy who can recruit as good as or better than Tressel. It will now be interesting to see how many higher ranked teams than Ohio State lose now. If Missouri beats Kansas and UConn beats WVU this weekend, then LSU loses in the SEC championship game and Missouri gets beat in the Big 12 championship game, where does that leave the Buckeyes? I honestly hope that things do not play out in a way that OSU ends up in the top 2 of the BCS because I think it will be nice to get these players to the Rose Bowl and hopefully the majority of the underclassmen stick around for another year and take a shot at the national championship next year. If they can hold onto most of their key guys, they should be in good shape to make a run for it.

The Colts-Chiefs game was horrible to watch. I honestly nearly fell asleep on my couch several times during the game. I wasn't even hung over from the Buckeyes game the day before! AV needs to get himself healthy in time for the stretch run against our divisional opponents and the playoffs. He is such a likable guy and it's bullshit that the fans were booing him after those misses. My thought on the matter is if AV really is not 100% healthy, then Dungy should have just went for it on those 4th downs. It really was nice to see Dungy take a step in building up AV's confidence (and the other players confidence in him) by letting him kick the game winner. Although the only thing I can't figure out--why the hell does Dungy always call a timeout with too many seconds left on the clock? I mean, it's fourth down anyway, so it's not like you can fumble a snap, fall on it, and get another chance. Why take the chance of having someone run back a kickoff, especially when your coverage teams are so spotty? Anyway, we got the W and should be able to build up some more confidence this Thursday against the Falcons. Byron Leftwich thought he could get away from the Colts. At least Freeney isn't around to hurt him again. I'm just pissed that I may need to go to a bar to watch the game on Thurs night. The in-laws cable provider does not have NFL Network and it does not appear that they are getting a simulcast on their local NBC affiliate, like they are doing here in Indy. What a concept.

And the Cleveland freaking Browns. All I have to say is Fuck You Baltimore! It really was an entertaining game to watch though. There have been a lot of exciting Browns games this season, but this field goal deal is the topper so far. Josh Cribbs is sick--nuff said.

Did a hate crime occur in Bills-Patriots game?

2007-11-20T09:42:00.000-05:00

Breaking News out of Orchard Park, NY:

Erie County, New York, district attorney Frank J. Clark is rumored to being pressured by New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft, seen here demonstrating the importance of a nose bidet to his grandchildren, to file formal hate crime charges against Bills OT Langston Walker . These "charges" stem from an encounter the 28-year old, 6 ft 8 in, 366 lbs Mr. Walker, had with New England Patriots CB Randall Gay (5 ft 11 in, 190 lbs) with approximately 12:51 left on the game clock in the first quarter of the game Sunday Nov 18, 2007. Witnesses claim that Mr. Gay was simply trying to perform typical duties associated with his job, and out of nowhere Mr. Walker attacked him. The NFL game officials charged Mr. Walker with an Unnecessary Roughness penalty, thus giving the Patriots an additional 14 yards tacked onto the interception return by Mr. Gay. Unnecessary Roughness is typically a 15 yard penalty, however, due to the close vicinity of the goal line, only 14 yards were allowed. It is because of this ONE yard that Mr. Kraft feels that the Buffalo Bills and Mr. Walker have not been punished severely enough for this deplorable act.

When asked for comment, Mr. Gay replied, "A hate crime? I don't get it. I guess that is something Commissioner Goodell could be looking into. Is this something to do with the secret video? If so, I have no comment. Oh, wait, I get it now. Another immature attempt to make a joke about my last name. Real funny. Very creative though--nice work."

Through his attorney, Mr. Walker responded to these rumors by saying, "I was confused and thought Gay was Tom Brady. I really want to knock the piss out of that guy." (as a side note, I think he was speaking Yoda, and meant "I was confused and thought Tom Brady was gay," as evidenced in this file photo, . There is no further evidence of Mr. Walker's ability to speak Yoda, although it seems fairly obvious that he can.

Bills coach Dick Jauron responded to questions about this, "Huh? That's one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard of. What will the Patriots try to do next? Sue us for defamation because we let them score so many points thus causing people to accuse the Patriots of running up the score? Give me a break. Next thing you know they will try to put a lien on Castle Greyskull . I have worked too damn hard over the years to get away from Snake Mountain. Nobody fucks with my castle now."

Latest update on this "story": All parties are denying any knowledge of this and we have determined that this information was all bogus. It seems as if someone just wanted to find a creative way to post an embarrassing picture of someone associated with the Patriots again. Online sources are so unreliable sometimes...

Steve Nash & Heidi Fleiss...twins?

2007-11-20T09:04:00.000-05:00

Ever notice how the Phoenix Suns' Steve Nash could be the long lost twin brother of Heidi Fleiss? Very disturbing similarities...

Not a good weekend for my teams in the W/L column

2007-11-12T12:59:00.000-05:00

Well, this was an all-around shitty weekend for my favorite teams. The Buckeyes lost to an up-and-coming Illinois team on Saturday afternoon, the Browns blew a nice lead and lost to the Steelers on Sunday afternoon, and then the Colts sucked up the field on Sunday night against the Chargers.

I'm OK with the Buckeyes loss. As long as they beat up Michigan this weekend and end up playing in the Rose Bowl, I am OK with it all. Illinois really had a strong game plan by Ron Zook and their guys executed it, especially Juice Williams. I had watched U of I play a few other games earlier this season and they showed flashes of a top 25 team, but they really put it together on Saturday for a complete game. No small feat in the Horseshoe.

I am about 75% OK with the Browns loss. Granted, the expectations were pretty low going into the Steelers game, but it just sucks to have the division leader on the ropes and be unable to knock them out in the 4th quarter. Plus, a Steelers loss would have helped give the Colts a bit more breathing room as they struggle to hold onto the #2 seed in the AFC. It's almost as if the Browns are playing well in spite of their coach at this point. Romeo Crennel is simply NOT a good head coach. Poor game management, use of timeouts, challenges, clock management, etc. In a way I am hoping for a late season collapse by the Browns just to increase the odds of Crennel losing his job at the end of the season. The first round draft pick is going to the Cowboys anyway, so who cares.

Ah, the Colts. All I can say is, the Chargers really suck. Actually, the players are really good--it's the head coach that sucks balls. I've never been impressed with Philip Rivers either, but they should still be able to win games with players like Tomlinson and Gates. Just get the ball in their hands. It would be great to get a few starters back on the field here in Indy though. If I have to see Aaron Moorehead's bulgy eyes on TV again I am going to puke. I can't believe the Colts keep him on their roster year after year. I was OK with Craphonso Thorpe's performance. Someone needs to tell Bryan Fletcher and Ben Utecht's asses to just run their routes, catch the ball, and either fall down or run out of bounds immediately. They both always look like they are going to fumble the ball as soon as a defender gets close. I am all for the mentality of "fighting for every yard", etc., but when you never get anywhere and all you get is a mob of defensive players trying to hold you up and rip the ball out, it starts to seem counterproductive. I swear to god if I see Fletcher try to stiff arm some dude again I may throw my frosty mug through the wall.

All in all, it was a shitty weekend of football watching in my house. The only thing I really enjoyed was finally watching the Knocked Up movie DVD. Great fuckin movie. I haven't gotten to the bonus features yet, but I have heard they are hilarious as well.

Does this make me a bad Buckeyes fan?

2007-11-09T10:35:00.000-05:00

As a loyal fan, I rarely want one of my teams to lose a particular game. I am a bit torn regarding my beloved Ohio State Buckeyes playing against Illinois this weekend. I think it is in the best interest of the team and us fans. I love that Ohio State is ranked #1, tied for tops in the Big 10, etc., but I REALLY want to beat the team from up north the following weekend, but not have to face LSU in the title game in January. If we just barely lose to U of I this Saturday, and then destroy the team we play the following weekend, we would still win the Big 10 and should go to the Rose Bowl, thus avoiding another embarassment against an SEC team in the title game 2 years in a row. I guess LSU has looked vulnerable lately, so OSU may have a chance against them. If the Buckeyes win out, they will stay #1, and it will be interesting to see what happens if Oregon wins out and then LSU, Oklahoma, and Kansas all lose. Of course, everyone will complain about the Big 10 and Pac 10 not having a championship game like the other conferences do. I like the Buckeyes chances against Oregon more than LSU or Oklahoma. We could take Kansas, I think. Although I thoroughly enjoy watching Kansas football games for nothing more than the action shots of Coach Mangino on the sideline.

Boston journalists are worse than their fans

2007-11-09T10:09:00.000-05:00

Boston area TV station, WBZ-TV, had this ridiculous report earlier this week about the crowd noise in the RCA Dome last Sunday. First of all, if every visiting team is complaining about this, why wouldn't the NFL put someone in the sound booth or wherever to keep an eye on the possibility of this occurring? And the "unidentified RCA Dome security guard" that this jackass is using as the "source" for this top secret information? As a journalistic entity, how can this TV station actually report this story as credible? I know some guys who work security at the RCA Dome and none of them are what anyone owuld consider "intelligent". Most of the guys I know never attended a 4-year college and work these events for extra beer money. This dumbass photojournalist is acting as if this security guard (who supposedly said this), has access to some top secret information. And say the Colts really were doing this, why the hell would he say this to someone with Boston area credentials? That makes a ton of sense, put the guy with the top secret information down by the photographers. How fucking annoying are these Boston area people? You won the goddamn game, you have a good team--just leave it at that, instead of making up bullshit stories and insult the fans in Indianapolis who yell, scream, and clap as loud as they can. And the "signs" at both ends of the stadium that say "Quiet. Offense at work.", are on the Jumbotron screens you fucking moron. Believe it or not, but some people in Indiana can actually read and follow directions if they think it will help their team win a game. I guess it never gets very quiet at Gillette Stadium when the Patriots are on offense because their fans never know when to just shut the fuck up. Now would be a good time. And the funniest thing about the Patriots not getting beat by the Colts? They will get beat by a team that will not even make the playoffs this year, like the Jets, Bills, Eagles, or Dolphins. Douchebags.

Randy Moss halftime tirade sparks Patriots

2007-11-07T16:41:00.000-05:00

An associate of mine works private security at the RCA Dome during Colts games. He is always assigned to the visitors locker room area. Usually his stories are fairly uneventful in regard to the visiting players and coaches. However, he said that as the Patriots players were entering their locker room at halftime, Randy Moss yelled and swung his helmet at the wall and left a huge hole in it's place in the drywall. I wonder if the RCA Dome can send the drywaller's bill to Bob Kraft to pay for. Apparently the rest of the Patriots were pretty pissed off at halftime as well, and they simply wanted to get back on the field and start the second half ASAP. Some of the players were even complaining about the Purdue marching band still being on the field and over by their sideline area. Well, whatever happened at halftime, something worked. Of course after the game all of the Patriots players in the locker room were acting as if they had just won the Super Bowl; all that was missing was the champagne. It's just hilarious to see these players and their coach act as if it is no big deal to the media.

Colts fans too loud for Patriots pussy ears

2007-11-05T12:38:00.000-05:00

I was just listening to the Tony Bruno Show and he had someone on there saying the CBS people at the RCA Dome yesterday were having camera & sound troubles due to all of the noise when the Colts were on defense. I'm OK with CBS having some difficulties. Then, he went on to say that the Patriots filed a complaint with the NFL to investigate if the RCA Dome was pumping in "fake" noise. Seriously? Fake noise? I was at the game yesterday in the upper deck near the press box area and it was soooo loud whenever the Patriots got the ball that my body was vibrating between plays. I was also at the Pittsburgh game a year or so ago when some jackass writer from Pittsburgh publicly made the claim of "fake" noise because he thought it was just too loud to be real. That guy was just pissed off because the Colts kicked the Steelers asses that night. This latest thing about New England is just as ridiculous. This claim by the Patriots is a slap in the face of all the Colts fans who are hoarse today because they were screaming their lungs out and whose hands are sore because they were clapping as loud as they could on every third down. The Patriots should just be happy they got out of here with a victory and shut the hell up. Besides, I don't recall their offensive line getting called for a false start all day, so the noise obviously wasn't that big of a deal. I remember other opponents games in the RCA Dome where there were several false starts on the O-Line because of the excessive noise of the fans. I will say that the loudest the Dome got yesterday was when Joseph Addai busted that long TD at the end of the first half. I could actually feel the concrete under my feet vibrating like a minor earthquake and I could see ripples in my beer cup that reminded me of the scene from Jurassic Park in the Jeep. That was definitely the loudest moment of the game. There were very few Patriots fans in the Dome yesterday either, and they all seemed to be spaced out--except one small section. Of all the games I have been to in recent years, this one had the least amount of obvious non-Colts fans. What can I say, Colts fans are just loud SOB's!

Dallas Clark is "Livin On A Prayer" in ASL class

2007-10-29T10:49:00.000-04:00

I just received this GREAT clip of current Indianapolis Colts and former Iowa Hawkeye Tight End, Dallas Clark, performing ASL for a college credit course. It is to the tune of Bon Jovi's "Livin' On A Prayer", circa 1987. The guitar solo is the best part.

Props to Dallas for actually working towards earning a college degree, even after he has started earning millions in the NFL. I guess if a guy can learn an NFL playbook, he should be able to learn ASL no problem!

Buckeyes vs Penn State weather forecast

2007-10-26T13:49:00.000-04:00

I was just looking up the weather forecast for my Buckeyes game this Saturday night against Penn State in State College and found this great clip.

Weather Forecast | Weather Maps | Weather Radar

Get this guy on TV!

Peyton Manning Getting Divorced?

2007-06-11T13:47:00.000-04:00

Here in the Circle City (Indianapolis) there have been a few rumblings & grumblings in the last few years -- although they are usually quickly & quietly squashed -- regarding the possible divorce/separation between Peyton Manning & his wife, Ashley Manning. Well, it now appears that there may be some legitimacy to those rumors. I've actually heard this one from several people within the last month. Apparently Peyton recently informed one of his local endorsers in Indy that Ashley will no longer be making appearances with him at their promotional & charity events. Another tidbit of interest is that Peyton bought her a house in Tennessee a while ago, and that she basically lives there year-round. From my perspective, if it's true, do you blame her? I mean, that guy is either at the Colts complex, in his basement watching game films, making appearances, or shooting commercials. The wifey needs more attention than the annual Pro Bowl trip to Hawaii in February and another week long vacation out of the country each off season. It would be such a shame if Peyton failed to learn the balance of work and home life, especially growing up in a household where his father was Archie freaking Manning. Additionally, he has of all coaches, Tony Dungy, as his head coach. This is the same coach who drops his young kids off to school in the mornings before heading to the Colts complex; the same coach who is the most anti-Dick Vermeil/Jon Gruden NFL head coach in the league right now.

Peyton knows how to beat a Cover-2 (sometimes) but can't seem to grasp the ability to manage co-habitation with his college sweetheart? I hope it's not true, but if it is, I can't wait to see Peyton hitting the town, trying to find the next Mrs. Manning. Sounds like a freakin reality show for ESPN. Can you imagine his profile on match.com? We already know how he would describe himself (see Sprint commercial with fake mustache); but what qualities would the girl of his dreams possess? I'll give it a shot: seeking female, age 25-32 & willing to reproduce (prime time age to pop out the babies & recover quickly enough to pop out another one), must appreciate lonely days & nights without my company (unless I need you to pop me some popcorn while I'm in my dungeon watching game films), must truly appreciate the slow paced lifestyle of a Midwest city (Indianapolis is not LA or Miami the last time I checked), is OK being the wife of one of the most recognized & highest compensated athletes in the country, willing to be pleasant to adoring (although sometimes annoying) fans, enjoys "smiling for the cameras" at public appearances & charity events, must be willing to give "exclusive" interviews to a certain local Indianapolis TV sports reporter with the initials AC (AC's the real deal--no disrespect), willing to hang out on Kenny Chesney's tour bus for one week per year, must love red meat & Bud Light, must be a registered Republican, and must be considered "hot" by over 90% of males polled based on your profile picture (full body shot required (video is a bonus)--we need to know what's going on below that head shot, sweetie). I'm sure there are plenty of women out there that fit that profile.

As a Colts fan, my biggest concern is the mental & emotional impact this divorce/separation would take on Peyton. The backup QB here is Sorgi. Jim Sorgi. Nuff said. Hopefully this is once again just another rumor going on around town, but if not, it would make for an interesting year.