Bertman's Cool Ideas

Cloud Backup

2011-08-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

These days, everything is going to "the Cloud". The Cloud is a conceptual framework of network-connected computer storage, accessible to anyone from any location, as long as a network connection exists.

Apple recently came out with their iCloud product, a subscription service that is the latest iteration of their internet service which first was called dot-mac, then renamed to mobileMe. ICloud is intended to be a shared storage space for your MacBook computer, your iPad and iPod, and your iPhone. It will, Apple hopes, be able to unify several devices and their data for instant synching everywhere.

It isn't as if iCloud is the only cloud-based service. Amazon has its own Cloud Player and storage app for Android phones, and Google already has free web-based apps and storage. Carbonite, the backup company, has a system which backs up your computer to the Cloud, and allows for access to all of your computer's files from any internet connection. Verizon offers a cloud-based storage solution for their customers. There are other cloud services out there, as well.

When you start using Cloud services, you will have to create accounts, and probably also pay a monthly fee for access. Some services will provide storage space for no cost up to a certain quantity, then charge for a larger storage space. If you want to change cell phone or internet providers, you will often be required to migrate your data to another cloud. It will be very confusing for some, and the difficulty involved in changing services will be a real deterrent to ever changing.

Another likely scenario will emerge where users will have multiple cloud accounts across several different services. In fact, it is more than likely that people will establish their cloud storage accounts, then after a year or two may have three or more cloud storage locations at the same time. Married couples and families will have multiple storage accounts for each member. The number of cloud accounts will explode.

The ability to manage cloud storage services will become very complicated. The idea here is to create a device, which will be a Network Attached Storage device, which will automatically log in to all of your and your families cloud accounts, and make a backup of all of them on a local media. It could be called a Rain device, or a Snow device, or Precipitation device. Neat, huh? It would be made possible by creating a program in a ROM in a NAS device. In fact, it could be a program in a future upgrade of an existing NAS device, like Netgear or Linksys make. It would store the login name and the user's passwords in memory, along with the URL of the cloud resources. The whole thing would connect to your internet at home. It could also be used as a local storage device, as space allows.

It would log into the cloud, scan the file structure, and make a list of all of the files stored therein. Then, it would create a hierarchical file structure that is identical to your cloud service, and copy every file that it finds in there. Subsequently, it could react to duplicate files by comparing them and only copying them if they are different, and possibly based on a date or time stamp.

This is one idea which I expect to see in use very soon. I haven't heard of anyone doing it yet, so I want to be sure it is recorded here, in the cloud, for posterity, and also so I can show people later on when somebody patents it and makes a million bucks. If you read this, and you do make a million bucks, kindly remember me, and kick me down a little. Ten percent is all I ask.

Getting Rid of Automatic Checkouts

2011-07-19T18:37:00.000-07:00

This isn't my idea, but it is a good one. A major supermarket chain has decided to remove its customer-operated automatic checkouts. They have over 100 stores which will have them eliminated. I am fully behind this idea.

They are an example of a complicated system to get the customers to check themselves out of the supermarket. There are some drawbacks, which make them less than desirable. For one thing, there is the bagging system, which expects a certain weight for each product scanned. There is a lag between scanning and bagging, If you have a cart with 85 items, it can take quite a while to get out. Then there is the constant barrage of repetitive instructions. Scan the next item. Place the item in the bagging area. Unexpected item in the bagging area. Please scan your next item.

A human cashier has certain advantages that come from skill and experience. They can converse. They can press a button and scan 8 items at once. They can tell what your produce is without looking it up in the system. They move fast, and they can help you put your groceries in a bag. And they are skilled at getting your payment.

I have written about automatic checkouts in previous posts. I want them to have different user-selected voices, like a GPS. I want them to have a shut up button for experienced users. But I don't use them, for the simple reason that they are frustrating to deal with. I think they are a stretch for technology, unlike ATM's which anyone can operate because they are limited in their scope. Automated checkstands have too many layers of complication. I will be glad to see them gone.

Automatic Checkout Machine Voices

2011-05-22T23:25:00.000-07:00

This seems to be a favorite subject for me. I do shop for groceries in my family, more than the other people in my household. I have had several ideas, some of which I think are quite good, relating to cash registers. I really can't understand why at least one of them has come to see the light of day.

My first was the beep sound where the cashier in the different lines scan the groceries and other items, and the register goes beep, beep, beep, as the products pass by. I think it would be cool and also somewhat pleasant if the registers each had a different beep, like register 1 beeps, register 2 beeps a little higher in pitch, and so on down the line. In some of the busier discount stores, it would be almost musical. I blogged this idea already, if you want to read more.

My next idea was to put a silence button on the new automated machines, which I find really annoying. They tell you to scan the item, they tell you to put it in the bag, they tell you to insert cash, and if you have a lot of items, you will have to listen to the machine tell you what to do for a long time. I don't know what the advantage is for the consumer, because it takes longer to check out that way than having an experienced cashier do it for you.

So today, I was at the supermarket buying a loaf of bread, when I was in the cashier line. The automated line was going pretty good and four machines were issuing their repetitive instructions to four different customers. They all had the same voice. The same woman's voice, probably some white woman, too. It is the same voice in all of the competing supermarkets and many other stores. Ralph's and WalMart's and Raley's and Home Depot, they all sound the same. It struck me: Why don't they give the cash registers different voices?

For one thing, the people at four different registers would be able to have four different voices telling them so that they wouldn't think the register next to them was telling them what to do. They could have a selection of voices, like several male and several female voices. They could have unique voices for their own stores, so Home Depot could have their own voices, and WalMart could have theirs. Next, they can have them in different languages, too!

I think it is a great idea. The cost of having someone read all the possible phrases a cash register uses would be minimal, and the license for the sound of a voice could be very lucrative for someone. I would offer my own voice, for a very reasonable price. Hey, they could license celebrity voices. They possibilities are endless. Now, how could one make a profit from this? If some chain of stores wants to have their own branding, like OSH could get their commercial guy to speak for the registers. People would go there just to hear the cash register voices. Sales would definitely go up, and personnel costs would go down as more people went for the automated cashiers, thereby eliminating human cashiers, saving the companies money.

Well, I'll be waiting to see when someone implements this idea. I don't care to make a lot of money off of it, but if you happen to use it, and it works out for you, please remember the guy with the coolest ideas. Ten percent is all I ask.

Intersection Beacons

2011-05-01T22:02:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a Smartphone now, and the Smartphone is actually starting to supplant the dedicated GPS. Not completely, but starting. A dedicated GPS has certain advantages, like large amounts of data stored on-board, with no network connection needed. Smartphones need cell service, at a minimum a 2G network. With the number of G's increasing rapidly, soon we will be looking at 6G networks, but now everyone is at about 3G or 4G, with many people starting to make the move to 5G. This is all well and good, as long as you stay within the bounds of the network signal. As soon as you go beyond, the Smartphone becomes as useful as a brick with apps. This is not to denigrate Smartphones, actually, but a suggestion for improving the functions of dedicated GPS devices.

These days, pretty much every intersection is controlled by a computer. They are probably even networked, which gives this idea even greater value. I would like to see every computer-controlled intersection equipped with a beacon that would constantly broadcast the state of the intersection. It would be implemented using antennae that are directional in nature, pointing and broadcasting their status towards oncoming traffic. They would send a time signal and the color of the light to approaching traffic, plus the remaining time until the light is expected to change.

Each packet would contain the current time as a reference, plus the state of every light in the intersection, such as straight, left turn lanes, right turn and crosswalks. The current GPS databases would need to be extended to include the configuration of known intersections as to what signals were present, and the state of the intersection could be decoded on the GPS screen. It would tell you that the light ahead is green, but will turn red in 8 seconds. Given your then-current speed, it could warn you if you were going too slow to make the light, maybe advise you to slow down or to continue at the current speed, or accelerate if safe to the posted speed limit.

Already, GPS manufacturers have traffic service, where they broadcast traffic alerts constantly. Databases are showing where all the red-light cameras are, and it is only a matter of time before GPS databases will include posted speed limits and the location of every single stop sign on the planet. Making intersections broadcast their state to oncoming traffic could add a dimension of safety by warning drivers of the red light they might not be aware of, and lives could be saved.

This idea is not intended to make it easy to avoid red-light violations, and any suggestion of that might work to delay implementation of this fantastic idea. Probably anyone who is opposed to this idea works for the county or city government, and would not like to see people have this information available. They also might not want to spend public funds on something so frivolous, but if only one life were to be saved, it would be worth millions, right? Right? So who could object?

Also, the data could be put on the internet, and Smartphone owners could access the data from Google Maps, as they are being voice-guided on the way to work. "The light ahead at 6th and High Streets is red, and will turn green in fifteen seconds." "The light ahead at Main Street and Wall Street is red and the crosswalk is active." "The light ahead at First Street and Sunset Blvd. is green but will turn red in 7 seconds." These are just some off-the-cuff examples of what your GPS might someday tell you. And if you are the one to turn this idea into gold, can you please remember me? I only want 10%!

How About PayPal Using People? or, PayPal Hell!

2011-03-29T19:56:00.000-07:00

I have noticed a disturbing trend. It seems that many businesses are opting for voice-trained response systems instead of human operators. Maybe people are too expensive, because they tend to make small talk. I say this because I have been dealing with PayPal customer support for about three weeks on an issue that stems from a certain policy they have regarding the use of checking accounts. I have been trying to do some eBay business, and have gotten to the point where I have bought too much stuff from them. They flagged my as having spent to much, and asked me for a checking account number.

Well, I had no problem with that. I gave it to them. But it didn't take. So, I called them. Well, actually, I tried to contact them via e-mail. I had to select categories and then enter a PIN on the phone before the machine would talk to me. If machines that have to use and understand human speech become the norm, we are in trouble. A machine is only as good as the programmers who programmed it, and they are human too. For some reason, they like to make it very difficult to reach a human being. And once you get past the machine, after it cannot figure out what you want, you can go on hold for quite a while.

I called them, and it took a good two minutes for the machine to yield to my will. After that, it dropped me onto hold, where I was subjected to some horrible upbeat Jazz-like music, with a radio-announcer voice constantly telling me all the ways that I could get my problems solved by using their help system on the web page. I finally spoke to a human, and was told that my account was already being used. It seemed to have been stuck to a previous e-mail address that became a spam magnet, and I stopped using it. Subsequently, I closed that PayPal account, and another which had also been used with the same bank account.

Then I called them back. Same ordeal getting into a hold queue, then a different agent telling me the same things as before. After updating the story, I got another answer which was that I had to get the checking account off of a third PayPal account which belongs to my wife. She has her own use for it, and a checking account for that use, and the funds don't mingle with our home accounts. I tried to tell them, but they insisted that she call them to give them permission to break the connection. She did, and waited through the same hold pattern to be told the same things I already knew. Twice.

I have since called three more times, and e-mailed them a dozen more. They don't reply to emails most of the time, except by an automated response system, but I did get to speak to a customer service supervisor, with no resolution, and got a personal email from a tech in their system somewhere. I still don't have a satisfying outcome. I finally had to close the account because it is getting personal now. I'm waiting for my check, and then I'm going to tell people what they are in for.

Which leads to the idea part: I'm sure this is nothing new, but what about renting some office space, and putting a bunch of phones in there, and hiring some underemployed Americans to answer the phones and direct calls to qualified technicians? This would have the advantage of giving a sympathetic and understanding voice to people when they call because of some frustration they are experiencing. Heck, even if the problem were never solved, at least the caller would feel like someone cares. The technology exists to route calls to phones based on a formula to make sure every phone operator gets the same amount of time in calls. They could also put computer terminals in, where people could log the calls, and when someone has to call five or ten times, the problem wouldn't have to be re-described.

The problem here is time. If I call a company, like PayPal, and have to voice-navigate a computer system to get to a person, they have stolen some of my time. And when I send a long message and the system logs me off for inactivity before I finish the message, and then drops the message because I have to log in again, they have stolen my time. I have never experienced such poor customer service from any entity, not even the Department of Motor Vehicles.

This is my idea. I could make a million bucks off of it.

Earlobe Openings

2011-03-27T13:44:00.000-07:00

Here's an idea I've been mulling over for a few weeks:

One thing I have noticed about people in the coffee shops is that there are quite a few that have wild and eclectic haircuts and many with tattoos and earlobe gauging. Earlobe gauging should be called gouging because it makes the earlobe larger. It has been a custom in some primitive societies to stretch parts of the body by inserting objects into openings, enlarging the openings gradually, and then putting in larger objects. Ear gauging is a variation of ear piercing, which makes a tiny hole larger and larger.

Personally, I am not a big fan of bodily immolation. I don't care for ear gauging or tattoos. It looks painful, and makes me cringe. Tattoos, because they are permanent and sometimes the content may be desirable at the time of application, but the tattooed may have a change in taste and be stuck forever defaced with images all over their shin. Because of these things, I usually get my coffee at the gas station nowadays.

But this is not about tattoos, it is about the ear gauging thing. When a person gauges their ears, they bgin with a pin, then insert a cone in the hole. The cone enlarges the hole, and they push it in farther and farther, until the cone goes all the way through. Then they put a disk in, which I have seen as big as a quarter in some cases. This actually can lead to a practical value for a loop of skin hanging from the bottom of the ear.

The disks I have seen are usually white or black plastic, and shiny. The do not seem to have any other function but to hold the opening open. Here's the practical part: Why not make something like a BlueTooth device, with a speaker in it? You could make a pair of stereo earphones that way, with no wires. They could have a jack for a very short single ear bud, or they could be designed so that the mass would be supported by the earlobe, bit part of it would be at the ear canal opening sending sound into the ear. A real advantage would be that the user could have sound but not have to cover the ear with extremal headphones or plug the ear with ear buds. Think of the safety ramifications of not restricting hearing while being able to listen to music! Wow!

Yes, well, I do get excited sometimes. This is my latest brainstorm, and I had to put it down on keyboard and screen before someone else thought about it. It's is like the app I thought up some time ago about turning the iPhone screen into a mirror. It would probably consist of a program that dims the backlight way down so that you could see your reflection on the shiny surface. I didn't think much of that idea, until I saw on the Internet, that someone else is making it.

Anyway, like other ideas I have had, this one is free for the taking, but if you use i and make money from it, at least mention where you found it. And if you are feeling generous, and want to take good care of your Karma, send me a few dollars. 5 percent is all I ask.

Sagging Suspenders

2010-12-26T01:48:00.000-08:00

In a previous post, I described my idea for a garter belt-style of suspenders. I guess it was a decent idea, since someone is now marketing a similar product. Even though I didn't draw a picture, it is pretty clear that the product is just as I described it. You can read about it here.

It is always possible, actually, that someone else came up with the same idea independently. I didn't patent the idea, so I don't have any real claim on it. But this is why I blogged it here in the first place: I do get to claim credit for having thought of it first.

Of course, my ideas are free for the taking, but I do accept thanks in the form of a share of the profits, if you happen to make any money off of them. 10 percent is all I ask.

e-Book Reader Idea

2010-08-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

This is one which struck me earlier today. I doubt if I am the frst to think of it, but having not heard of it yet, I want to throw it out there just to make sure. If it is original, this will be my record, August 15, 2010.

Nowadays, you can buy e-book readers like the Kindle, from Amazon.com, or the iPad. There are others, but for the sake of discussion, I want to focus on these two. You can buy an electronic version of a book, which is basically a text file containing the actual words and punctuation along with some of the formatting data that goes along with it. The pages of the e-book look just like the actual paper pages. They are really cool. That is not my idea, although I really wish it had been.

In addition to buying books from Amazon, you can buy the actual content of the book in audio format, which you can listen to on an iPad or and iPod. Much of the time, you can get the audio form on CD or in MP3 format, recorded by the actual author of the book. I listen to Books on Disc with my wife, whenever we go on a long trip somewhere. There are good books, and there are sucky books which I can't even see publishing, let alone listening to or reading. I marvel at the ability of people to listen to some really boring stuff. But, people have different tastes.

But here is my newest idea: wouldn't it be coo if you could go online, buy a book in e-Book format, and get the audio version of the same book? You already can, buy buying both formats at one time. But here is the cool part: What if the audio were indexed to the text? You could read part of the book at the beach or on a bus, without plugging your ears with headphones. Then, you could put a marker on the text where you left off, and have your Kindle or iPad play the audio version for you starting at the place where you left off reading. You could listen as long as you want, then when you stopped, the device woud mark the text so that you could resume your reading at the point where you stopped listening.

Amazon, are you listening? All I want is 10 percent!

Haunted Car Wash

2010-05-08T23:25:00.000-07:00

I drove my car through one of those automatic car washes the other day. I actually drove it to the car wash, and the car wash dragged my car through by the front wheel. So, as I sat there in a reverie watching the soap spray on the window, I came up with a really cool idea.

When my kids were young, I tried to get them interested in going through a car wash. They were not at all excited by it. My latest idea would be to make a car wash into a form of entertainment. Wouldn't it be cool if the car wash were also like an amusement park ride?

You could have little skeleton heads with red LED eyes pop out, or have skeletons drop down afer the rotating brushes get done scrubbing. The rinse water could be sprayed out in a sheet, and have an image projected on it, just like at Disneyland. A scary soundtrack could be broadcast on a low-power FM transmitter. Synchronizing the soundtrack with the actions woul be hard if more cars than one were going through it at a time, but spacing the cars out could take care of that.

Anyway, it is an idea that is bound to be implemented somewhere, if it hasn't been already. I have never heard of one, so here it is. Of course, I thought I was the first one to think of programming GPS systems with the locations of stop signs. So if this is original, and you use it, and if it makes you some money, could you keep me in mind? I'm not rich yet, and could use the help.

Chip Your Glasses

2010-04-26T20:19:00.001-07:00

People lose a lot of things at theaters and restaurants. Cell phones, glasses, coats, wallets, cameras, credit cards, all sorts of things. A cell phone is easy to get back because you just call it, and whoever answers makes an appointment to meet you somewhere, you give them a reward, they give you your phone. Wallets usually have some ID in them, and credit cards have your name on them.

Some items, like glasses and wristwatches, aren't so easy to get back, or to return if you find them. These items can be very expensive at times, and worth some effort to get them back.

What I propose is the application of the identity chip like people have put into their dogs and cats. It would be a simple version with a serial number embedded, with the number registered in an online database. It would probably require a scanner to read, but restaurants and other businesses could invest in the hardware, which would be pretty cheap. It would read the code and put the number out on a computer screen via a USB port. I'm sure the dog chipping people have all the necessary hardware, it would just be a matter of applying it to a different task.

The database would be available on the Internet, open to the public, and free of cost. The finder would input the serial number in a dialog box, identify themselves, and send a message to the person who lost the item. The owner would then decide how and when to contact the finder. If someone were to crave a profit from the business, it would be on the sale of the chip, the sale of the scanner, and maybe some onscreen advertising.

This is one of my best ideas yet. I only wish I could get the money to develop it myself. Of course, if someone else were to do it, I would be grateful if they remember me with small stipend. Ten percent would be enough for me.

Boxer Suspenders

2010-04-26T20:18:00.000-07:00

In the hood, you frequently see young men walking around with a cell phone to their ear with one hand and the other hand holding their pants up by the crotch. This must be very inconvenient, since both hands are tied up, and no hand is available for waving or shaking hands. The reason they hold their pants up by the crotch is that it would take two hands to hold them up if they were holding them up by the waistband.

And the reason they need to hold their pants up at all is because many young men insist on wearing their pants below the level of their hips. Hips provide a natural widening of the skeleton which is convenient for holding up pants, as most people who wear pants will attest. And the young men who wear their pants so low that they are pratically always falling off instinctively know this because they wear boxer shorts, which ironically they wear at their waist.

In the previous century, women used garters to hold up their stockings, which were the predescessor of panty hose. It consisted of a band that encircled the upper prt of the leg, but was concealed below a skirt. The band had clips dangling from it that wee attached to the tops of their stockings, allowing them to walk around without using their hands to hold their stockings up.

Men, in the past, have either used a belt or suspenders to hold their pants up. Suspenders are basically two bands that have clips on opposite ends, and work by clipping to the waistband of the pants and holding them up by going over the shoulders of the wearer.

This idea is an application that would work the same way as a garter, basically, but which would be designed to look like the top part of a pair of boxer shorts. Mechanically, it would be a waistband a little stronger than the usual elastic of boxers. A series of clips would hang down strategically from the band, which would be the same type as those used for suspenders, which would affix to the top of their pants. A band of stylish fabric four or five inches wide would cover the waistband, and hang down enough to cover the top of the pants.

Altogether, you would have the perfect solution. The Boxer Suspenders would come in a variety of styles, and economies of scale could drive them down to the price level of a belt plus a pair of silk boxer shorts. The young men of America could then do other things at the same time as making cell phone calls, and they would be able to wear briefs for the first time in many years.

Grease Rag Chaps

2010-04-26T20:17:00.002-07:00

Whenever I work on cars, I always wear my dirtiest pair of old jeans. This is because I like to wipe my hands on my pants. Working on cars can be quite messy. Professional mechanics carry grease rags in their pockets, but you have to pull them out to use them, then put them back when you are done.

This is a simple invention. Basically, is is a grase rag that has belt loops at one end and an elastic strap at the other. I would be worn by threading your belt through the top straps, and fastening the bottom straps around your thigh, securing them with Velcro(r). They would offer a convenient place to wipe your hands, and could be designed with pockets, or with slits to allow access to pockets.

The basic idea is, of course, conceptual. But, with proper engineering, a marketable product could be created, after determining optimal width and length, and strap details. I could come up with several improvements, and if anyone wants to use this idea, I will be happy to share my thoughts.

Bluetooth Hearing Aids

2010-04-26T20:17:00.001-07:00

I was walking around the grocery store the other day, and I saw a grey-haired old man with a Bluetooth headset in hei ear. This guy seemed like he was in his 80's, and I immediately came up with this really cool idea.

Hearing aid manufacturers spend a great deal of effort and technological expertise making hearing aids that are so tiny asto be almost unnoticeable. They hide behind an ear, or inside an ear, and sometimes you can't tell someone is wearing one until you get right up close. What with the advent of Bluetooth headsets, it seems that there is an easy out for hearing aids that don't have to hide.

My idea is to manufacture inexpensive hearing aids designed to look like Bluetooth headsets. They could use larger batteries, and the only real diffence would be which way the microphone is pointing. You could go a step further and make Bluetooth headsets with built-in hearing aids, which automatically switch to regular hands-free phone mode whenever you get a call coming in. These would be for the more technologically adept seniors, of course. The Bluetooth disguised hearing aid could be targetted at the non-technical seniors who just want to hear, but don't want people to shout at them.

Anyway, there it is. It may not be original, because I recall reading a funny e-mail the other day that said something similar, but I wanted to get it down, just in case. Stay tuned for my next brilliant idea, which is coming, but I don't know when it will arrive. Thanks for reading!

Jamba Juice Blender Emptier

2010-04-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

The fruit smoothie is one of my favorite treats. I had one just the other day, in fact. I like the one that tastes like a CreamSicle(r). One of the things I have noticed at most smoothie places, possibly the main drawback of working there, is getting the smoothie into a cup. Fruit smoothies are pretty viscous, a word which means thick. They don't pour easily, and a lot of it gets left inside the pitcher, which is a terrible waste.

If you ever go to a Jamba Juice or another smoothie place, you will see the poor smoothie workers pounding on the side of the blender pitcher to get the stuff to pour out. My answer to this problem is rather elementary, basically a blender shaker. You put the pitcher upside-down in a shaker, over the cup. It shakes the heck out of the blender pitcher, causing the smoothie to fall out, and saving the hands and wrists of the workers from early carpal tunnel or some other repetitive motion disorder.

The concept is an electric motor with an offset weight on the shaft, which is mounted on shock-absorbers. It has a tilted V-shaped holder with a lip that holds the top of the pitcher in an upside-down position. The lip does not extend across the pouring edge of the pitcheer, and a small latch holds the bottom of the pitcher in place. The main drawback would be noise, but it couldn't get much worse, what with all the noisy blenders.

That's just one of my many bright ideas. Read my previous entries for more, and check back later. Feel free to capitalize on any of my ideas, just remember me when you get paid. Ten percent is all I ask, and thanks for reading.

Supermarket Cash Registers

2010-04-23T17:46:00.000-07:00

This is not just one idea, but two. Both deal with the supermarket checkouts at all of the big market chains. The first one s one I had many years ago, and I haven't seen it implemented yet, so here is the seed to see if it goes anywhere. The second one is something that is so simple it isn't even funny, but also is obvious in its usefulness.

For the first idea, consider that most supermarkets have eight or more checkout lanes. All of the lanes have identical equipment. Grocery items are scanned by the cashiers on their registers, and a very audible beep sound is heard each time an item is scanned. The beep serves to let you know that your item has been scanned. Every once in a while, a second beep will let you know that the same item was scanned twice, which can help you correct the problem before you ever leave the store. Every register emits an identical beep, so that when the store is really busy, all of the registers are going beep, beep, beep. Sometimes, you won't be able to hear the second beep that alerts you to a double scan, because of all the other beeps.

Now, wouldn't it be cool if each register had its own beep? I mean, the first on would be a certain tone, the next one would be a note higher in pitch, like on a musical scale. This could be extended to every register in the store, each successive register in the row having a note higher than the one before. The sound of the beep, beep, beep, would be almost musical. I think it would be quite pleasant. Pkus, it would allow the customer to detect a double scanned item much more easily.

It would also be an easy idea to implement. Since all computer sounds are generated by software, you could modify the code in every scanner to have a distinctive tone according to a software setting. Alternately, you could hardwire it into the scanner if you had to. I really would love to see this idea take off.

And the other idea relates to automatic checkouts. I don't like automatic checkouts, because all they do is make one person work harder by running four lines at once. They also save the store money on payroll, by eliminating one or two employees. If the food bills were lower in stores that had automated checkouts compared to stores in the same chain that didn't, I might think differently. Not only would the store be saving money, I would be, too. But, that is not the case. Prices at supermarket chains are consistent across all locations.

I also don't care for the impersonal nature of the machines. They don't have the conversational skills of a human being, which I really like when I am checking out with a basket full of groceries. The most annoying feature of automated checkouts is their speech abilities. They are always giving long, tedious and repetitive instructions. They prompt you in verbose terms on what to do next. I am sure the instructions are phrased as to be as unambiguous as possible. They are probably concerned that all of the verbal instructions are exact in their meaning, so that no misunderstanding will occur on the part of the customer.

Now, I consider myself a rather smart guy, which is why I have a blog of bright ideas. I bet lots of other people are pretty smart too. You would think that after three or four times through the automated checkout, people would learn how to work them. Some might need six or seven trips.

What I would like to see on automated checkout lanes is a simple silent operation button. It would speed thimgs up significantly if it wasn't always telling me to scan my next item. I could probably scan a whole basket of items just about as fast as a live cashier could. And it is so simple, I wonder why they haven't done it already.

So there you have it, my latest installment. I'll be back as soon as I can come up with another Earth-shaking innovation. And, like all my other ideas, if you use it and make a million bucks, all I want is ten percent.

Volume-Limiting Earbuds

2010-04-17T20:39:00.000-07:00

I previously complained about earbuds and the cords that they are attached to. This isn't to say I don't like earbuds, because they are quite convenient. I once read that earbuds deliver three times the amount of sound energy to the tympanic membrane that external headphones deliver. The tympanic membrane is the fancy word for eardrum. Anyway, the chance to harm ones hearing is very high by comparison.

Earbuds are compact and lightweight, and are not as uncomfortable as regular headphones. Plus, they are cheaper, and tend to be included in any audio device packaging.

Someday, we will have a problem with deafness, I fear. The music some kids listen to is very loud, and when they walk by, you can hear it from their earbuds. That means that permanent damage is being done to their ears. IPods have volume-limiting circuitry built in, but that means having to program it to work. Plus, other devices don't have such circuitry, so that leaves iPod holding the bag.

This was one of my first brilliant ideas. It's right up there with ring-through tones. Wouldn't it be cool if earbud headphones had some sort of volume-limiting circuitry built in to them? It could be a simple circuit, a microphone in the earbud that transmits the sound back to a circuit that measures the volume of the sound as it bounces off the eardrum, and a filter that decreases the amount of energy that is allowed through.

It might be too big to fit in the earbud itself, but might be integrated into the connector, where it plugs into the jack. Any power necessary to run it would come from the same source as the sound itself. Drain on the battery would be minor, but worth it in any event if hearing is saved. There are probably other drawbacks to this, but it is a concept right now. Maybe someone else can run with it and make a million bucks. If you do, please remember me. Ten percent is what I ask, but I could settle for less if I had to.

A Rant About Earbuds

2010-04-17T00:01:00.001-07:00

This is more a complaining post than any kind of an idea post, although there might be a decent idea or two inside. I am complaining about earbud earphones. They come with iPods, MP3 players, and all manner of personal electronic devices. You can buy them at any discount store, if the first set is broken or lost. They are an essential item in today's world. If you have an iPod or a PSP, you will probably have headphones.

There are a couple of problems I have with earbud earphones. First, the cords are way too long. The makers seem to think that a longer cord is a selling feature. The shortest I can find are four to five feet! Does anyone make a headphone with a cord less than four feet? Many people have iPods that they wear on an armband. This makes a four-foot cord a real hassle for getting tangled in clothing or machinery.

I wonder if anyone else has noticed how the earbuds themselves are like litle hooks. For some reason, mine are alway getting snagged on table edges, chairs, seats, just about anything, if they are allowed to dangle when you bend over. I hate that. It is a function of the cords being too long.

The other problem I have with headphones is the cord surface. The cords are very thin, almost as thin as kite string. They are usually made of rubber or some other plastic-like material. In every case so far, they feel like they have a traction at the surface. They don't slide well at all. They are always pulling against skin or clothing. It would be so nice if they had a smooth surface, like nylon. That would be nice and slippery, and allow for more freedom of motion.

So, some combination of a smooth surface on the cord, and a cord length of less than 30 inches would be a real improvement. They can't easily change the shape of the earbuds themselves, or they wouldn't stay in your ear. Eliminating the hook effect will be next to impossible. But, a shorter cord would sure help.

Read my next entry on volume-self-limiting earbuds, coming soon. It's one of my best ideas so far.

Sonic Automatic Cup Filler

2010-04-13T22:33:00.000-07:00

I had this idea while at a fast food restaurant. I noticed that the soda dispenser at the drive-through had a set of buttons that the operater would press depending on the size of the cup. There were little picture of cups on the buttons. They would stick a cup under the spout, and press a button, and the cup would fill (almost) up. As the cup was filling, they would have a few extra seconds to grab some fries or a burger and toss them in a bag.

They would then have to top off the soda, since the dispenser was designed to produce a certain amount and not actually fill the cup all the way. There is a lot of foam produced while dispensing soda. The machine has to stop early to keep from making a mess.

When I was a little kid, I noticed that when you pour a liquid in a cup, you can hear an echo which changes in pitch as the cup gets full. This comes from the acoustics of the cup, and the amount of space above the liquid. This is where my latest idea comes from.

What if you could put a microphone over the cup, and measure the echo as the cup fills? This would allow a processor-controlled system to fill the cup precisely. If the foam came up too fast, it could stop and resume after the foam went back down. It could turn on and off as needed, and allow the operator to have a full cup at once. It could also function without regard to the cup size, and could actually determine the cup size by the acoustics.

This idea would revolutionize the fast-food industry. If anyone wants to use it, I will be happy to accept a mere tenth of the profits. Thanks for reading, and come back soon for my next bright idea.

Employment Application Kiosk Cam

2010-04-11T19:31:00.000-07:00

In the Olden Days, when people were looking for a job, they would get dressed up and go to the place where they wanted to work. The term "Olden Days" is an arcane term which means something like "a couple of years ago." Anyway, they would get dressed up, go and meet the prospective employer, and pick up a paper form called an Application for Employment. They would either fill it out on the spot, or if they wanted to make a really good impression, they would take it home and fill it in using a typewriter. "Typewriter" is a word which refers to a device which was used to put printing onto paper before there were laser printers. When they had filled out their application, they would return it to the prospective employer, and then wait for a phone call for an interview.

Nowadays, which is a term which refers to current times, they go online and fill out an application from their home computer. Then they wait for a call. The more ambitious job seekers go to the place where they want to work, and fill out an application in the same way as they used to in the Olden Days. Many larger employers, rather than deal with paper application forms, ask the prospective employee to sit at a computer, where they fill can out an application online.

My latest idea has to do with the little kiosks at places like Safeway and Home Depot. These are the large emloyers, who handle personnel hiring at a central location, which they call Human Resources. You can find people who are the ambitious job seekers filling out applications at the place where they want to work. Then, they go home and wait for a phone call, or an e-mail.

If you were a prospective employer, wouldn't you want a look at the prospective employee before you make that call, or send that e-mail? This idea wouldn't be difficult to implement, and in fact may even be in use in some places. I haven't seen it yet, so I'm putting it down here, on the 11th day of April, in the year 2010 Basically, the idea calls for installing a simple webcam on the kiosks where you take job applications. The application would include a question that would ask for consent to have their image taken as a part of the application process. Of course, they could refuse, but that wouldn't look good on the application. If they said yes, you could see whether they were wearing a suit and tie, or gold chains and a hat on sideways.

The only problem I can see with this is that the employer could be accused of profiling, but the application really is only a way to get to an interview, and an image of the prospective employee at the time of applying for a job would go a long way in helping to determine whether an interview is warranted. So, there it is. Install a web cam on your job application kiosks, and record the image of the prospective employee at the time of application. It would help to bring back putting on a suit to look for a job.

If this one takes off, I'll settle for 10 percent, just like any of my Bright Ideas. Read my other ideas, to see if there is anything you can use. I have more, too, so check back often.

Personal Three-Dimensional Vision

2010-04-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

I went to the movies last week. I saw a cute animated feature about dragons and Vinkings in 3-D. I took my glasses with me. I use them to drive, usually, because they make it easier to read road signs and bumper stickers. Plus, they really help with movies on the big screen. So, I watched a movie with my glasses, and I really enjoyed the clarity. Problem was that I had to wear a pair of plastic 3-D glasses over them. It was uncomfortable and unwieldy, but I got through it. The movie was good, and I recomment it.

Then, it ocurred to me that I could have been more comfortable had I not been trying to wear two sets of glasses, 3-D glasses on the outside of my regular glasses. This was where I came up with the idea: What if you could go to your optometrist, and get a set of 3-D glasses made, so you can go see a movie with prescription 3-D glasses?

Prescription 3-D glasses would be easy to make, and not all that expensive. They wouldn't need darkening ability or tinting, other than whatever it is that makes them 3-D. They could be made of less expensive materials, since they woud be worn in the dark, and stylish appearances would be less important. And, in addition to being able to assist your focus, they would be much more comfortable than regular 3-D glasses which come in one size for every face.

As for the economics of how they would pay for themselves, I can't say too much. For many, the comfort of wearing well-fitting glasses to 3-D movies, with the ability to see the movie more clearly than was possible before, it would be worth the cost. For others, they wouldn't pay a dime to make the movie better. Somewhere between the extremes, there is a larger body of people who wouldn't mind getting their own personal pair of movie glasses. Nerds would line up for them

So, there is a pretty good, market-ready idea, for anyone working with eyeglass manufacturers. If you try it, please kick me down a few bucks. I need the money to pay for the movies.

Where Does e Coli Come From?

2010-04-07T21:23:00.000-07:00

This installment will not be an idea, but rather some musings on a very important subject, e. Coli, a sybiotic organism that lives in the intestines. It is a bacterium which is present in the colon, hence the Coli. e. stands for escherichia, which I believe is the name of the scientist that discovered it. I'm not sure, but I don't think it matters in this context. Did you know that feces is about 50% e. Coli, by mass? In other words, it is 50% bacteria.

The other day, I read a couple of articles on the internet which I found interesting. The first was about a study which suggested that the type and amount of different bacteria in the colon may have an impact on body weight. It said that people get their colon bacteria from their families in early life, and that antibiotics and other factors can serve to change the bacterial over time. The implication was that these modifications to the composition of ones colon bacteria could make one get fat.

As an aside, I have read in several places that yogurt, which contains active bacterial cultures, can help people who are dieting lose weight. They surmised that the reason was that yogurt contained a lot of calcium. I'm beginning to wonder if it might be the yogurt cultures. Yogurt was originally created when nomadic peoples carried milk in pouches made from camel stomachs, thousands of years ago. That means that yogurt bacteria are originally intestinal bacteria.

The other article I read was one that explored the very real possibility that mitochondria can cause an immune response, resulting in symptoms of sepsis. A doctor found that injured cells split open, releasing their mitochondria into the bloodstream, causing symptoms of infection. Mitochondria are tiny organelles inside most plant and animal cells, which the cells use to produce energy from glucose. Mitochondria were discovered to be remarkably similar to bacteria, so much that they actually are bacteria, but living inside of cells, as part of them.

An interesting fact about mitochondria is that they are passed along from mother to child, and so they can be traced back as far as you want along the line of your mother. They are part of the egg, but never a part of the sperm, so you can't get them from Daddy. There are tests for mitochondrial DNA now, which can be used to determine the origin of ancestral lines much further back than most genealogies can provide. Mitochondrial DNA is used to trace migrations since ancient times, because it changes very little.

This brings me to an important question, one which I have never heard asked: Where does a person's original e Coli bacterium come from? Is it true that it comes from the environment in the first few days of life? If so, is it bad to wash your hands before feeding your baby? Is it possible that the baby is actually born with the first e. Coli in its intestines? If so, how did it get there? Okay, so that is more than one question.

Here is my theory: I believe that babies are born with the first e. Coli inside their gut, and that it comes from the baby's mitochondria. One form of supporting evidence of this would be if women of successive generations were either fat like their mothers, or thin like their mothers. A lot of factors would contribute, but a propensity should show through in statistics.

I propose an experiment. Someone should take samples of different babies' merconium, which is the name for a baby's first poo, and see if they can culture e. Coli from it. It would be interesting to see the results. Maybe someone else thought of this already. If so, I would love to know. If the merconium proved to have e. Coli in it, it would be interesting to see if it is the same as their mitochondria. Another experiment on the mitochondrial DNA of the same child, compared to the theoreticl e. Coli would be in order, to see if there is a genetic similarity.

Well, there is my latest brainstorm. It isn't a big money maker, but someone could at least become noteworthy for publishing the results of a study. If you happen to do this, please let me know. I always like to see if my ideas are any good.

Semi Truck Bumper Cam

2010-04-05T05:54:00.000-07:00

I was driving home from Reno once, and on the other side of the freeway, a semi truck was on its side, blocking traffic across three lanes. My first thought is that the poor truck driver is going to be unemployed right after this. Maybe he didn't get fired, or maybe he should have, which depends on the circumstances which precipitated the accident.

I believe that most truck accidents are caused by cars. Since trucks start and stop more slowly than smaller vehicles, the leave a large space in front of them, which is much too tempting for people in cars. Frequently, cars dart in front of trucks, and then realize the room isn't as big as they thought. So, they brake, and the comfortable space that was in front of the truck is now an emergency stop for the truck driver. I suspect most major truck accidents are caused this way.

This would be a simple invention. It would be like the black box on a plane, nore or less. A small camera would be mounted on the front of the truck, which would be pointed forward, and close to license-plate level. It would be connected to a DVR which would be mounted further back in the truck, to prevent destruction in case of a collision. The DVR would store a loop of video data maybe two hours long, overwriting the oldest data as the disk became full. It would record a format that is industry-standard, like MP4, so that any agency could access it with a laptop on the scene.

If someone pulls in front of a truck, leading to a catastrophe, they are able to continue on, since the accident happened behind them. There would be no implication for stopping, so they would just keep going. This Truck Bumper Cam would have a video record of them pulling into the lane in front of the truck. This could help save a few truckers' jobs, and could also help deter people from unexpectedly cutting in front of trucks. Maybe their insurance could help pay for the cleanup.

Well, there you have it. A simple invention for anyone that wants it. If you make one, drop me a line to feedback@nerdsinthewood.com, and let me know so I can tell people my idea worked. If you feel generous or grateful, I will accept any amount of money you want to give me. Ten percent would be fine.

On-Line Games and High-Level Bosses

2010-04-04T09:34:00.000-07:00

I spend a good amount of time playing an online game called Asheron's Call. It's a multiplayer online game where people all over the world are able to play in the same virtual world at the same time. Most computer games are what we call single-player, and run directly on the local machine. Some games allow multi-user, where several players join their computers to a network to enjoy a common game experience. X-Box, for example, has the ability for many players to get into the same game space. The concept of multiplayer gaming is extended to it's extreme in games like World of Warcraft, Everquest, Asheron's Call, and many others. These are termed Massively Multiplayer games.

In the course of these games, players face various levels of creatures. They are usually referred to as monsters, and they must be defeated in order for the player to take their loot, gain experience, or otherwise advance in the game. There are easy monsters, and there are the more difficult monsters. Monsters have a set of behaviors which are programmed into their code. Most are quite random, selected from a short list of possible actions. They usually attack players, and switch attacks to other players randomly.

The most difficult monsters are called Boss Monsters, and they are usually the culmination of an epic sequence of tasks called a Quest. The completion of the quest causes a boss monster to spawn, which any number of players then strive to defeat. Boss monsters are usually more difficult to defeat because of their level of difficulty, and unusually high stats, which make the players have to hit it many more times, and when it hits them, it hurts a lot more. So in order for a game to produce a boss monster, it just has to increase the stats of any monster program. The behaviors may be different, but still they are random and computer-generated.

Which leads to my Bright Idea. What if the boss monsters were operated by human beings? There would be a place like a call center, probably in China or India, where there would be a room full of workstations, possibly hundreds, and at each station would be a trained operator, called an Operator, who would control the actions of a particular boss monster spawn. The players would complete their quest, and a signal would go off, alerting the operators that a boss monster was needed. One operator would assume control of the boss monster until the end of the battle.

This would add a depth to the game that would make it far more challenging. The operator would eliminate the randomness, and then the agro would be real. He could target the most effective or least effective players at will, and thus make it more difficult to defeat the boss. It would give the players a greater sense of accomplishment when they did win.

The downside is that costs would increase, possibly making players pay more for subscriptions. Some new game might make it a feature that stands them apart from other games. For others, it could be sold as a premium service, since some players don't play for the goal of defeating a boss monster. It would also require a game to have a sufficient player base to support a live boss monster call center, 24/7.

Anyway, you have to admit it is a good idea. I predict that at some point in the development of multiplayer games, this will become a feature, nay, a selling point of many games. Some games already have live events which are moderated by humans, and sometimes they have instances where a game admin joins with really uber gear and stats, and may fight against the players. The problem with event-based instances is that players either have to be lucky enough to be online when the event occurs, or have to plan to be there.

This idea is really a dedicated group of players which are a part of the game itself. It means a constant availability of the challenge of an unpredictable opponent, rather than a special-event type of availability.

Remember that you saw it here first. Stay tuned for another cool idea in a few days. Thanks for reading.

Ring-Through Tones

2010-03-19T18:31:00.000-07:00

For my first effort, I submit my idea which I call ring-through tones. We all know how to set our cell phones to have a tone that is somewhat unique for ourselves to recognize that it is our phone ringing, and not someone else's. Most people, but not all, can also set individual ring tones for their favorite callers. It is a really cool ability that people really like.

Then, there is the ring-back tone that you can have play while the calling party is waiting for you to answer your phone. It's a way of saying, "I really like this song, so listen to the first ten seconds while I get ready to answer the phone." What I find annoying is the message that wastes several seconds by telling you, "Please enjoy the music while your party is being reached," before the music starts. Traditionally, people will answer the phone within six rings, by the old reckoning, where you would hear a tone as the phone on the other end was actually ringing. That is an amount of time of about 20 seconds, so if you have 20 seconds to play with, I wouldn't put the message at that beginning.

But this cool idea has to do with personal ring tones. Wouldn't it be cool if you could select a ring tone, and send it to the receiving party's phone ahead of your conversation? Technology being what it is, it would only take a few seconds to push a 20-second package of mp3 file across the cellular network, and have it begin playing on the other phone. Some hardware support would be needed, but considering what else cell phones can do, it would be a snap to add the functionality.

Admittedly, it would open up for new forms of abuse, like an mp3 file of curse words, and then call someone you don't like while they are at work and have their phone play it as a ring before you hang up on them. This could be addressed by having a feature like call block, which would only allow ring-through tones from trusted users.

OK, so it could take some time to take off, considering all the phones out there right now that wouldn't support this feature. But by the time everyone used up their two-year contract, it could become commonplace. Just remember, you saw it here first. And if you happen to make millions off of it, I only want 10 percent.

Introduction

2010-03-19T18:19:00.000-07:00

Hello! This is my blog of good ideas.

I'm always trying to come up with ways to make the world a better place, but I don't have enough money to start a charity foundation or anything like that. Instead, I offer some innovative and possibly inspired ideas, enhancing existing technologies for interesting or fun purposes.

I will present a series of awesome ideas which I have had over the years. To some, they will appear silly or trivial, but airplanes and cars and cell phones once seemed trivial. If anyone wants to use these ideas, feel free. All I ask is some recognition. I have many more ideas, which I will be willing to share or discuss.

If you make a million bucks, I wouldn't mind if you cut me in for, say, ten percent? Yes, ten percent is all I ask. Read on, and check back every once in a while for the latest.

-- The Bertman