tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19611740033069112152024-11-08T09:13:43.634-06:00This blog is for people who have wanted children, dealt with infertility, miscarriage or the loss of an infant and remain childless. We didn't choose it, we didn't want it when it chose us, yet we are childless families. The dynamic is different, holidays are far from traditional, but truly we can find the way to contentment through the support of those who love us and each other, but mostly through Christ, who gives us strength...God does have a plan for our childless lives.Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1961174003306911215.post-91304294655334052013-01-01T21:43:00.000-06:002013-01-01T21:48:47.246-06:00

I will not become a mother, or a grandmother in 2013, or any year thereafter. I won’t have a brag book to carry around and I won’t have stories of my children figuring out what grandma name to call me. I think I would have liked Gramela, but who knows? It won’t ever matter. I won’t know the feeling of the baby who was part of me, having a baby who is part of her. I won’t see my legacy in future

Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1961174003306911215.post-17500766040703851292011-12-14T16:49:00.003-06:002011-12-17T18:10:30.156-06:00

I don't have children. It's not my fault. It's not my choice. I was born in a body that doesn't work like most other women. But, I'm not alone. 12.5 percent of those born and reaching adulthood will have fertility issues. There are over 5 million childless couples in the United States according to recent census information. More than half of those did not choose their childless state. There is

Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1961174003306911215.post-29619711570675056622011-09-18T16:04:00.002-05:002011-09-18T16:10:58.954-05:00

The blog I posted the other day was directed to those who might make comments to the person on the journey through infertility, without thinking of the impact of those comments. A friend commented that I didn't give any advice about how to handle those comments with grace. She was right, I didn't. At the time, I was rather incensed by the fact that a friend had told me how lucky I was not to have

Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1961174003306911215.post-49162363724344129502011-09-14T21:16:00.000-05:002011-09-14T21:16:23.214-05:00

I went to a fundraising gala this weekend for Second Harvest Community Foodbank. It was a thirties themed party and we had a wonderful time dressing up, socializing, and honoring the organization and several humanitarians they recognized during the evening. As I was relaying the events of the weekend to a friend, she told me she was jealous of me because I could still have a social life like we

Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1961174003306911215.post-31961058502675488242011-07-26T10:43:00.000-05:002011-07-26T10:43:39.664-05:00

I know this is similar to my post from Mother's Day, but I think this topic is so important. It is one of the most difficult parts of the journey with infertility, it is the issue that makes infertility an unavoidable topic for those in the midst of the journey, and unforgettable for those who have reached the end of the road. I love meeting new people, but there is a part of every new

Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1961174003306911215.post-40103932124714833242011-07-17T16:18:00.001-05:002011-07-17T16:20:33.094-05:00

Here is an excerpt from Beside the Empty Cradle: Finding Peace in Childlessness. ______________________________________________ The queasy mornings started the day my doctor went of vacation. Two pink lines put me on cloud nine, but I waited to tell John. I didn’t want to hurt him again. I knew this time would be different. The queasy mornings were a welcome addition to my day. I woke up hoping

Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1961174003306911215.post-87591574580786835112011-07-13T14:08:00.002-05:002011-07-14T06:31:32.352-05:00

I was speaking to a woman about my book recently. She had not read the book, but as we talked about the concept she asked me if I thought my heart was healed from the desire to have children. I told her that it was. She paused a few seconds and then said, “My friend can’t have kids either. I wish she could just get over it. Her grief isn’t doing anything but keeping her from moving on.” I was

Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1961174003306911215.post-62395554440271493902011-05-08T10:09:00.005-05:002011-05-08T10:14:43.970-05:00

Infertility awareness ribbons worn on Mother's Day are a great way to say I understand, without saying a word. I sat uneasy in the pew, my husband sitting next to me. He knew it was difficult for me to sit through the service without bursting into tears. But I wanted to celebrate mother's as much as anyone else. The problem was, I wanted to celebrate MY motherhood and that was not happening.

Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1961174003306911215.post-89060013078907551552011-03-26T09:10:00.000-05:002011-03-26T09:10:15.839-05:00

It has always amazed me how many people in the with-children world are infertility experts. So many people I barely knew had stacks of advice for me; each a sure cure for the barren womb. "Just soak virgin wool in lanolin, and lay strips of it on your belly every night. within two months you will be pregnant. I guarantee it." I tried it, but I got a rash from the lanolin and then read a

Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1961174003306911215.post-47036239028958214402011-03-23T22:35:00.000-05:002011-03-23T22:35:33.818-05:00

As we walked our journey through infertility, and ultimately permanent childlessness, baby showers tied with Mother's Day for the most painful events of the year. It wasn't so much that I couldn't be happy for my friends, with their ever-filling homes. It was the torturous process of shopping for baby gifts, and then making small talk at the shower, where everyone was baby-crazy. I

Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1961174003306911215.post-5334312360973907642010-05-11T13:18:00.000-05:002010-05-11T13:18:36.092-05:00

There are many couples in this country and abroad who are facing infertility, with little hope of cure. Many of these couples are able to adopt either through traditional agencies or through foreign adoption. However, there is a forgotten group of infertile couples; those who cannot be cured and don’t find adoption to be an option for their situation. How do you cope with permanent infertility

Pamela Sonnenmoserhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13297248804610550630noreply@blogger.com0