Short funny jokes

Good jokes-Old widow next door

admin — Sat, 19 May 2012 03:54:36 +0000

Worried that they hadn’t heard anything for days from the elderly widow in the apartment next door, the mother said to her son,

“Tony, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Pierpoint is?”

A few minutes later, Tony returned.

“Well, is she all right?” asked the mother.

“She’s fine, but she’s rather annoyed with you,” remarked Tony.

“At me?” the mother exclaimed. “Whatever for?”

Tony replied, “Mrs. Pierpoint said it’s none of your business how old she is.”

Blonde jokes-Long hair

admin — Fri, 18 May 2012 03:52:49 +0000

Why do blondes wear long hair?

To hide the air valve.

Clean jokes-Unhealthyfood

admin — Thu, 17 May 2012 10:53:53 +0000

Notice in a Doctor’s consulting room to discourage consumption of fried & fatty food:

A few moments on your lips

Forever on your hips.

Best funny jokes-Running behind bus

admin — Thu, 17 May 2012 03:49:57 +0000

Abe’s son Morris arrived home from school puffing and panting, sweat rolling down his face.

“Dad, you’ll be so proud of me,” Morris said, “I saved a dollar by running behind the bus all the way home!”

“Morris, you are a stupid boy!” said Abe, “You could have run behind a taxi and saved $12.00!”

Short funny jokes-Volcano

admin — Tue, 15 May 2012 10:13:16 +0000

Q: What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode?

A: What a lavaly day!

Obama jokes-Hope and change

admin — Mon, 14 May 2012 12:08:11 +0000

President Obama says his campaign for a second term is still about hope and change. The president’s exact words were, “I hope I won’t have to change my address.”

Funny jokes-Fire sale

admin — Mon, 14 May 2012 10:11:34 +0000

A guy goes into a store but the prices are too high as he is about to leave the merchant questions him as to why he is leaving.

“The prices are too high”

“Well” the merchant says, “you should come back next week we are having a fire sale”.

The patron says, “What do you mean you are having a fire sale next week?”

The merchant says, “Shhh”

Funny humor-Vogons NG

admin — Sun, 13 May 2012 10:10:33 +0000

The sweat stood out cold on Ford Prefect’s brow, and slid round the electrodes strapped to his temples. The Vogons wanted to be very much on top of the next-generation web. And they had the technology to show it – ajaxian social media delivering crowdsourcing network effects via software-as-a-service – all designed to heighten the experience of the sites and make sure that not a single nuance of the next-generation web’s poetry was lost.

Arthur Dent sat and quivered. He had no idea what he was in for, but he knew that he hadn’t liked anything that had happened so far and didn’t think things were likely to change.

The Vogon began to read – a fetid little passage of his own devising.

“Oh twitter xanga…” he began. Spasms wracked Ford’s body – this was worse than ever he’d been prepared for.

“… thy topix are to me–As orkut skype on a lulu bee.”

“Aaaaaaarggggghhhhhh!” went Ford Prefect, wrenching his head back as lumps of pain thumped through it. He could dimly see beside him Arthur lolling and rolling in his seat. He clenched his teeth.

“Digg I implore thee,” continued the merciless Vogon, “my ning shutterfly.”

His voice was rising to a horrible pitch of impassioned stridency. “And rollyo woot me with wikia flickr,– Or I will rend thee in the squidoo with my stornge, see if I don’t!”

“Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggcccccc!” cried Ford Prefect and threw one final spasm as the electronic enhancement of the last line caught him full blast across the temples. He went limp.

Kids jokes-Spell

admin — Sun, 13 May 2012 02:40:53 +0000

School Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with appendicitis?

Fred: Only when I tried to spell it.

Short funny jokes-Green and purple

admin — Sat, 12 May 2012 02:39:57 +0000

Q: What’s green and purple and goes up and down?

A: Barney in an elevator.