Short funny jokes

Good jokes-Value of paintings

admin — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 10:43:56 +0000

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

“I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The guy was your doctor…”

Short funny jokes-After the holidays

admin — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:37:00 +0000

They say the day people go back to work after the holidays was the most depressing day of the year. Funny thing. People who don’t have jobs are depressed because they don’t have one and those of us who do are depressed that we do.

Best funny jokes-Philosopher’s driver

admin — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 07:23:06 +0000

A renowned philosopher was held in high regard by his driver, who listened in awe at every speech while his boss would easily answer questions about morality and ethics.

Then one day the driver approached the philosopher and asked if he was willing to switch roles for the evening’s lecture. The philosopher agreed and, for a while, the driver handled himself remarkably well. When it came time for questions from the guests, a woman in the back asked, “Is the epistemological view of the universe still valid in an existentialist world?”

“That is an extremely simple question,” he responded. “So simple, in fact, that even my driver could answer that, which is exactly what he will do.”

Nasty jokes-Stakes

admin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 09:04:23 +0000

Newt Gingrich overheard a newsman reporting about the election saying, “The stakes were very high.” Newt’s reaction was, “Steaks? I’ll have three, well done.”

Short funny jokes-Announcement in flight

admin — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 07:19:26 +0000

Funny announcement in flight:

“Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children.”

Short funny jokes-Beat up

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:18:40 +0000

Gingrich is lining up impressive endorsements. Todd Palin, Gary Busey, and now, Chuck Norris. I’ll tell you, his endorsements could beat up Mitt Romney’s endorsements.

Short funny jokes-Worm and apple

admin — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 07:17:54 +0000

What’s the difference between a worm and an apple ?

Have you ever tried worm pie ?!

Humor jokes-Vice presidential duties

admin — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 09:38:54 +0000

President Obama was in Disney World today where he unveiled his new plan to create jobs. He was joined by Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse but not Goofy. He had to stay behind to tend to his vice presidential duties.

Clean jokes-Back to youth

admin — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 07:15:40 +0000

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth,

think of Algebra.

Short jokes-Retired ringmaster

admin — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:58:08 +0000

How do you get a retired ringmaster off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.