Best things in Life R Free

Amazing! Know your style and other styles of communication, it makes communicating much easier~

2011-06-03T06:46:00.000-07:00

Assertive Communication is a style in which individuals clearly state their opinions and feelings, and firmly advocate for their rights and needs without violating the rights of others. Assertive communication is born of high self-esteem. These individuals value themselves, their time, and their emotional, spiritual, and physical needs and are strong advocates for themselves while being very respectful of the rights of others.

Assertive communicators will:

State needs and wants clearly, appropriately, and respectfully

Express feelings clearly, appropriately, and respectfully

Use “I” statements

Communicate respect for others

Listen well without interrupting

Feel in control of self

Have good eye contact

Speak in a calm and clear tone of voice

Have a relaxed body posture

Feel connected to others

Feel competent and in control

Not allow others to abuse or manipulate them

Stand up for their rights

The impact of a pattern of assertive communication is that these individuals:

Feel connected to others

Feel in control of their lives

Are able to mature because they address issues and problems as they arise

Create a respectful environment for others to grow and mature

The assertive communicator will say, believe, or behave in a way that says:

“We are equally entitled to express ourselves respectfully to one another.”

“I am confident about who I am.”

“I realize I have choices in my life and I consider my options.”

“I speak clearly, honestly, and to the point.”

“I can’t control others but I can control myself.”

“I place a high priority on having my rights respected.”

“I am responsible for getting my needs met in a respectful manner.”

“Nobody owes me anything unless they’ve agreed to give it to me.”

“I’m 100% responsible for my own happiness.”

Arlene's Quotes!

2011-06-02T16:34:00.000-07:00

One who learns something new everyday is one who has the recipe for knowledge. One who lives by what they teach is one who has the recipe for wisdom! Take heed my friends~

Life's Good~

2011-05-27T04:46:00.000-07:00

Yeszir, as I would say from time to time. This entire week has been very exciting for me, I’ve had meetings after meetings, and productive phone calls after phone calls. Definitely, i am running in the direction I’ve pointed my arrow with no intentions of looking back because as that good ol’ saying goes “it’s not where you’re from it’s where you’re going”.Appointment times and dates were noted on a pink sticky note after each phone and stuck to the ledge of my computer desk. As appointments were fulfilled, I made sure the notes came down to make room for more. Huuuuum, this reminds me of working in an office I said to myself a few days ago but the difference is that I’m working from MY HOME office. Yesterday I went to BookExpo America which was held at the Jacob Javits Center to take pictures as my book was showcased. *all smiles*, within a year things will all start to pay off and will have more than come together. I have no worries about when things will come together because I know the only factor that stands between my dreams becoming a reality is time. Understand that once you’re putting in the work and being proactive, time is the actuality! Now, some people may say “well, it could happen in 5, 10, 15, or even 20 years, who knows” I say yes, that is correct but it can also happen the next day, week, month, or year. There is no minimum or maximum when it comes to time so grind hard and always be thinking of your next move. Keep dreaming and pushing towards your dream, let no one decide your future because you have to live with the decisions they made for you which will not be suitable for you. Love you guys~ :0)

Knowing Purpose and being Spiritual is Liberating~

2011-05-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is absolutely true! Once you know what your purpose is you do not waste time with people or doing things which does not enlighten or help you to walk in your purpose. Life becomes easier because you no longer just exist and you now have reason to want to be alive. You understand you have a job to do and you are going to do it by any means necessary! Knowing purpose helps you to see the end result during each phase but you never see how you’ll get there. Having faith and decision will get you to where you need to go. But of course we cannot forget Spirituality. One will only know their purpose in life after becoming spiritual. Yes, being spiritual helps you to understand just exactly who you are and that is where and how you claim your “I AM”

Stop Running~

2011-05-22T10:10:00.000-07:00

Never run from your problems! As hard as it may seem to face them, remember that the devil only target people who run. When you face him head on with the Holy Spirit, he will flee hence, you will realize that the problem isn't as bad as you thought it was~

Ladies, we are not better at cheating than men are!

2011-05-20T09:26:00.000-07:00

I know some of you think we're slick and say we cheat and do not get caught like men do and men don't know when you cheat. Maybe he may not know if you cheat once but if you are repeatedly cheating on your man, he knows! You will act different no matter how much you try to be yourself. If he doesn't say anything it's because he do not care about you in the way you need him to. Men are territorial, that will never change and all men are the same when it comes to being territorial. No man will tolerate another man sleeping with his woman or his wife. Typically he will fix to leave because he is the only man who shall enter. This is a reality check! If you are a habitual cheater, chances are your husband or man doesn't care about you or he is only with you because he thinks that he cannot get better. If he thinks he cannot get someone to be with him like you are with him, it doesn't mean he loves you, it means that he doesn't want to be alone and will put up with your foolishness because at least, you are still there. Again, it has absolutely nothing to do with caring about you. I think all women need to learn the orders, ethics, and balance of life and relationships with men. Trust me that is the saddest place for any woman to be because we like to know we are held high in the minds of our men. We like to know he’s our protector, comforter, and defender. A man will move mountains and then some for the woman he loves but she cannot be a cheater. If you have freedom to run like that, it is because he doesn't give two cents about you. This is some food for thought and nourishment for your soul, take heed~

Phenomenal Woman~

2011-05-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

Passionate, loving, kind, short-tempered, take no shorts, assertive, willing, know what I want and what I need, confident, loves to meet & greet, call it like I see it, say it how it is, blunt, my honesty can be unintentionally brutal, love to teach, love to learn, can talk about anything, will knock somebody out if I need to, well spoken, speak over people at times, gives the benefit of the doubt, has allot of love to give and want to receive allot of love, Loves love, complex, considerate, courageous, loves animals, spiritual, master of my universe, believe in God, see the bigger picture, sensitive, warm, know my purpose, look for a better way, problem solver, love to make life easy, comforter, easy to cry, emotional, honest, loyal, represent what I believe, stand for the cause, righteous, proud, reserved, very analytical, wise, sexy, observant, persistent, inspiring, love to please, think outside the box, versatile, achiever, successful, intellectual, champion, above competition, love to laugh, playful, love to cook, love to eat, love to decorate, love to travel, my way or the highway, flexible, knows why and how, want to be liked & accepted, and has zero tolerance for non-sense. Do you recognize me?
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You are not Mr. or Mrs. Fix it, stop being a people pleaser!

2011-05-13T12:11:00.000-07:00

Is this who i am? Wow, at the age of 34 I just learned that I am addicted to acceptance and approval! I saw Dr. Phil tell Sarah Ferguson on Oprah a few days ago that she’s like an addict, addicted to acceptance and approval. She never felt loved as a child, always wanted her mom to tell her she love her, and her dad often told her to stop acting like a sheep’s ass. So given that Sarah was a girl that looked to be loved and accepted Dr. Phil advised her that she would do anything to get approval, including placing herself around people who are clearly not for her best interest. Hearing him tell her this made me say hummmm, and I tilted my head to the side. I said to myself “it all makes sense” I always wondered why people attempt to take advantage of me or mistreat me. I always asked myself “what did I do?” or “did I do something wrong?” Sarah said the same thing. I think she also had problems with knowing her self-worth. I know my self-worth but could never understand why I always ended up in the same pattern of second guessing and questioning myself and at the same time witnessing how others enjoy taking advantage of the situation. Sometimes they put on extra attitude to help me convict myself or sometimes I’m deliberately over looked. I've never been a follower nor did i try to fit in but like everyone else, i want to be accepted and liked.

Happy more than Mother's Day~

2011-05-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

This is a special day for all of you whom embraced your natural instinct to nurture. I know it is one of the most amazing feelings to know you could co-create such thing as LIFE, your heart beats with all kinds of feelings about this experience and your responsibility. You become a person who, no longer think about yourself, you take on the responsibility as a co-creator and you allow your natural instinct to take over. Sometimes you get lost in being the co-creator which is taking on all types of roles you never knew one person can have. You’re the wife, cook, cleaner, care-giver, healer, teacher, punisher, lover, driver, shopper, hair-stylist, dentist, doctor, nutritionist, dish washer, clothes washer, home décor, auditor, psychic, DJ, party planner, and a heroine. You are everyone! Each power comes out for the respective situation only, it is amazing how one being becomes several only during the time of need without thinking anything of it. Often, you are taken for granted but love keeps you doing the things you do while you tell yourself they will someday realize what I am doing for them. Sometimes, you feel weary and you cry but you don’t let your children be witness because mommy’s their heroine! You’re the happy wife who greets her husband at the door with a big smile and a hug after you’ve dealt with a hectic day but the lover in you must make sure your husband’s evening is relaxing. You, the nurturer, are all things and this one day can’t begin to be enough appreciation for all that you’ve done but it’s a small token of gratitude. Happy Mother’s Day to you all~

There is no such thing as caring too much~

2011-05-02T20:35:00.000-07:00

There is no such thing as caring too much but there is such thing as not realizing you have the power to stop caring. In life we come across all kinds of obstacles, and circumstances because that is inevitable but, what exactly is it that makes a person say enough is enough? Is it because you think you’re too good to take foolishness, or is it because you do not care to work on getting someone to understand how they are and how they make you feel? Is it because the person is completely selfish and want things to go their way? Or is it because you’ve completely given that person enough chances to get their act together? Well the truth is that too many people worry about being taken for a fool or wanting to be the one to take others for a fool. Let’s try it God’s way. Let’s love freely and express your feelings because there is nothing foolish about love and being able to love hard doesn’t make you stupid. What makes you stupid is not realizing that you have the power to stop the foolishness or anything that makes you completely unhappy. Being loving did not make you unhappy, in fact, you were overly happy to give love. Let’s not put a bad brand on great qualities, put the brand on the fact that the person just didn’t know how to appreciate your love or maybe they didn’t think they were worthy of your love. Put the bad brand on the fact that some people just don’t know how to be genuine, respect, or truly appreciate a genuine person. In fact, instead of putting yourself down, feel pity for the fact that this person may never know what love is. Feel good about yourself, give love, and be free~

The Submission Package~

2011-05-01T08:31:00.000-07:00

Gentlemen, a woman can’t respect you if she does not trust you and women don’t submit to men they do not respect or trust. Understand that there is plenty of power in submission for both sexes! The man that can get his woman to submit is KING of man and the woman who submits to her man knows that he is KING but she is completely confident in him. In order for a man to be crowned King and have a submissive woman, she have to know that he will never take advantage of her, hurt her, lie to her, cheat on her, or beat her. She knows that he respects her, loves her, look for her advice, wants her, and worships the ground she walks on. Women are naturally naïve and easy to persuade because GOD made us this way, that is a part of the submission package. So be clear that if you are with a woman you cannot get to submit to you and or drop her nasty attitude. That is a reflection of how she feels about you subconsciously. Women were made as companions and to submit to men but the man must be walking in GOD’s light. See, it all goes back to scriptures in the bible, you can’t expect a biblical life if you do not follow protocol.

Where is the Love?

2011-04-30T09:23:00.000-07:00

I’ve decided to write this piece today because of some comments made by Negro men about the Royal Wedding. Since I am Negro, this blog is directed to the men of my race. It saddens my heart whenever I hear or read some of your comments about marriage in general. Please see some literature which I’ve copied and pasted on research about marriage within our race:

Black marriage rate seems to be on the upswing--from 46.1 percent in 1996 to 47.9 percent in 2001--after a 40-year downward spiral.

But the slight increase is only one cheerful note in an otherwise mournful tune. The bad news is that the number of Black married couples is only half the number of married Whites, and the situation is getting worse. In 1963 when Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave his "I Have a Dream" speech, more than 70 percent of all Black families were headed by married couples. In 2002 that number was 48 percent.
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Love is Love~

2011-04-29T08:20:00.000-07:00

A loving marriage unites two perfectly un-perfect people who vows to love each other perfectly well~ It is a reflection of the facts that neither one is perfect but the love they have for and being in love with each other, they'd basically do anything to see each other happy. Love is unconditional and free. It's embracing and secure. It's surprising and gazing. Love causes your heart to race, your mouth to open, and it stops you dead in your tracks. Love only has eyes for Love and nothing else matters. Love liberates your mind and opens your eyes to change within self without thinking about the one you love having to change because them loving you the same, will make them change if that is what's needed. Love is selfless and worrisome. You worry because you need your love to be safe, come home from work every day. You never want them to get hurt. You worry when they're unhappy and you worry when they worry. I say all this to say that Love is Love~

Health facts about Coconut Oil per Dr. OZ~

2011-04-28T06:46:00.000-07:00

Virgin coconut oil has an amazing ability to fight free-radical damage, presumably because it is rich in ferulic and p-coumaric acid. Consumed, this means these powerful antioxidants can fight free-radical damage and is now yet another tool in my wrinkle-busting arsenal. Applied topically, it has been shown to be useful in wound healing.

A recent journal article put omega-3-rich fish oils head to head with omega-6-rich coconut oil. Guess what they found? A diet rich in omega-3 fish oil alone led to a significant decrease in the body's ability to fight free-radical damage, presumably due to a noticeable drop in blood levels of vitamins E and A.

End result, while fish oils decreased plasma blood fats, they created a challenge to the antioxidant defense system. Not good news for banishing wrinkles. The best way to handle this for maximum skin health is to incorporate both omega-3 and omega-6 fats into your diet, both in moderation, of course.

Another plus, coconut oil contains lauric acid which boosts immunity and fights infection. The only other major source is mother's milk. Presumably for one prone to skin concerns that leave broken skin exposed to possible bacterial infection (such as eczema), having adequate levels of lauric acid could prove useful in reducing the risk of a secondary bacterial infection.

And finally, it has been suggested that individuals consuming virgin coconut oil instead of soybean, olive or corn oils may see a boost in metabolism and an edge in their attempts to lose weight. Now isn't that worth cooking for?

Just some provocative thoughts~

2011-04-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

Although the saying is you are what you attrack, that's not always the case. Most times you attrack people who perceive you to be a certain way and feel they should treat you a certain way. For instance, if you're naturally challenging, u will attrack people who may either want 2 tear you down or challenge you. Now, this may leave the challenger exhausted sometimes because every time they turn around, it's something. If you are passive *sheep*, you will attrack aggressive people or people who want to take advantage of you *wolves* Now, this will also leave the sheep exhausted because everytime they turn around, they are faced with a problematic person. Now here's the flip side to personalities. I've seen mean, heartless people attrack kind and thoughtful people. The kind hearted and thoughtful always want to know why the heartless is heartless. Hummm, why is that? Why do you think the heartless sometimes attract people with better or nicer hearts?

Fellas, i Urgently need your Help~

2011-04-19T07:21:00.000-07:00

Hello fellas, I have a few questions to ask you all. Why is The Women’s Lib Movement a constant topic when debating about relationship problems with women? Is it that some men do not like the fact that women are liberated? Do you think women rights are the reason for the downfall in marriages and relationships today? Is it a fact that some men would rather women be bare foot and pregnant instead being a prominent voice? I ask these questions because millions of women would like to know why instead of assuming what men are thinking. In my opinion, when I hear men bring up this movement I and maybe some women may tend to take it as those men are chauvinistic hence, most women will or may get defensive in conversing which may lead the debate which was once set to be a leverage of understanding to turn into an argument. My heart is open so my questions aren’t biased but raised to provoke truth so please do not get offended, if you’ve ever been on a debate with me you’ll know that my point of view is always provocative. That is because I love to understand so that I can over stand moving forward. There is a saying that he who knows how gets the job but the man who knows why owns the business! So today’s blog and questions are for the fellas to shed some light on their feelings because I am one who love to know why. As always, one love to all~

You are Beautiful Too~

2011-04-18T06:22:00.001-07:00

I would like to help those who harbor such emotion out a little, there is more to envy besides the facts that it is 1 of the 7 deadly sins and the fact that the envier is happy to cause harm to those who they may deem to have a superior or superior qualities which the envier either covet or do not want their target to have. I would like you to know that you are beautiful too and your God given talents are different to that of those who you are envying, you can’t see it because your sight is blinded by green! Think of us as The X-Men on earth. If you remember, X-Men all had marvelous, yet very different gifts which were very helpful and they all were needed for the gift they possessed. Please, I urge you to cleanse yourselves from this ugly emotion! Not only do you sometimes harm and destroy others, you keep yourself wilted and unable to blossom. Per Wikipedia, this is one of the descriptions of envy:

Fellas, let me help you a little!

2011-04-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

I know it has been said that men are tired of women stating that there aren’t good men, etc... I have heard men complain about the women who claim they’re independent. I’ve heard men say women should pull out chairs, open doors, buy wedding rings, etc… since they are so independent. All, please be advised that these complaints are some of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard! Fellas, I would like to be the first to let you all know that women who know who they are and what they need in life do not and will not deal with men who complain about how bad women are because that go against everything they stand for. Please note that you have to take responsibility for choosing the type of women you have dealt with, take responsibility for not observing the character of the women you were once involved with. My advice to the fellas would be to forget about the type of women who did not embrace womanhood or women who did not have a defined understanding of life with men. Those types of women tarnish your views on how women really are and focusing on them only disable you from self-reflecting hence, you will not accept the role you’ve played in choosing that type of woman. I will help you out a bit with the categories:

Is that how Men think of Women?

2011-04-15T13:15:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a good friend of mine yesterday who pointed out that men consider women with short hair cuts to be sassy and easy. He said from what he have noticed, most women who cut their hair short become very flirtatious, and easy to sleep with, for lack of better words women with short hair cuts or those who cut their hair become sexually liberated and don’t seem to care about how they are perceived. So my question is. Is that how men think of us? Fellas, let me advise you all of the reasons why we cut our hair.

1. Many of us do go through a transition in life where we may have just gotten out of a bad relationship and choose to “start over” or “start fresh” where this will include a haircut along with new wardrobe, and trying to have a different outlook on life, which will also include trying things they have never done.

Who's at fault for the Breakdown of our family Structure?

2011-04-15T06:15:00.000-07:00

The onus of the breakdown of our family structure is on both the Black man and the Black woman! Personally, I am tired of seeing men blame just women and women blame just men. Women are to blame for not being more observant of the character of the man they are considering. Now, I know that isn’t just your fault because you have been taught to some degree that a man with a good job, house, and car is a good man to have. But what you ladies have to understand is that has nothing to do with how a man will treat you. I blame women for telling themselves that their eyes didn’t see what they saw. Ladies, we see the signs but because we want to be in a relationship or want to be with that person, we tell ourselves that it’s not what we saw it was, stop doing that. I blame women for having children prematurely because again, without knowing a man’s character how do you know if he’ll be a good father or if he want to be a father?

Embrace your Authenticity

2011-04-14T08:48:00.000-07:00

Govern your life by the quality of people who have stood beside you and who have given you a pass, not by the quantity of people who are with you because numbers shift and those same people may end up being against you. Also, never govern your life by those who were always against you from the beginning because they never learned to appreciate your gifts and talents. What we must always tell ourselves is that if God didn’t need me, he would not have created me! Of course we all need to go through some things in life in order to be molded into the person God intended for us to be so when we glow, we would not be the exact person we were when we were created. Be receptive to constructive criticism and be willing to tweak some things about yourself. Remember, the great ones always want to be taught and they always want to learn. We are all meant to be authentic, embrace it!

What's the difference between Barak Obama, Bill Clinton, & George W Bush JR.?

2011-04-12T14:31:00.000-07:00

Well hello my lovelies. I’ve decided to write this piece as re-election is coming up and I want to say a few words of my own about it. Without getting into statistics, facts, and numbers, what’s the difference between Barak Obama, Bill Clinton, and the Republican George W Bush JR.? Clinton and Bush were re-elected but I’m hearing different for Barak. Why? Why is it that some people are saying they aren’t voting for Barak? I believe we are still depicting the slave mentality we are supposedly rid of, no? I’ve heard plenty of Negros say “he hasn’t done anything for us” or

Simply Amazing~

2011-04-09T06:22:00.001-07:00

Amazing is being able to relax and enjoy peace of mind, not feeling the need to have your guard up and just levitate through life. Wonderful is to know you are surrounded by people who aren’t out to hurt, to ridicule, slander you, or kill your dreams. Incredible is being in the presence of people who understands exactly who you are without wanting you to change unless being who you are is against morals and or principles! Outstanding to know who you are, being true to who you are, and representing exactly what you believe! Mind-blowing is to know your true, exact essence while being humble with everything God and this Universe has blessed you with. Breathtaking is to know all of the above and be the epitome of what I call levitation because you understand that no one on this earth validates you but the being you are closest to which is GOD and his Universe! Knowing this all, you’ll understand that you mean that much to yourself and you will never place yourself in situations that are unsettling to your heart. The greatest love of all is to love yourself~

Some Health facts per Dr. OZ

2011-04-08T09:18:00.000-07:00

Fact 1: Per Dr. OZ for women who are feeling low in energy and sluggish, it is good to have 1 to 2 servings of lean Red meat a week for Iron. He advised that animal products are better absorbed by the body.

Fact 2: For those who have problems with hair loss, it is good to incorporate boiled eggs in your diet as boiled eggs have Biotin which is great for hair growth. Per the Dr. if you have more boiled eggs you'll start to see quicker, thicker, and stronger hair growth and eggs do not increase cholesterol.

Fact 3: For people who have problems with foot odor, you can soak your feet in baking soda for 15 minutes about twice a week. This will cure your problem with foot odor.

Fact 4: Those who suffer from cold sores can take Vitamin E *the actual vitamin in pill form*, this is great for curing cold sores.

Some facts about Frozen Strawberries

2011-04-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

Per Channel 7 News, studies show that having a portion of Frozen Strawberries a day can reduce risk of developing several types of cancers including esophageal cancer. Please see as follows:

Every year 8,000 Brits develop cancer of the oesophagus. Just 400 survive.Now a study has found that eating 60g of the fruit a day can prevent abnormal growths turning malignant.
And if the strawberries are freeze-dried it increases their cancer-fighting properties almost 10-fold.
Study leader Dr Tong Chen, of Ohio State University, hailed the findings as an “important” breakthough.

Let's incorporate Strawberries and other Berries in our daily consumption~