Bet My Log

Who's Blaming Leni?!

2016-05-10T16:44:00.000+08:00

     No one is blaming Leni. Leni is obviously a genuine and decent person. The blame goes to Mar and Noy for dragging her into this. The Robredos are a simple family. She didn't want to run but Noy and Mar persuaded her. Her daughters were reluctant too at first because they know how dirty politics is. If ever she wins, I just hope she rids herself of Noy's and LP's influence which can be very divisive.

     Those who keep on blaming Marcos yet refuse to see Noynoy's fault, wake up. It's been 30+ years. Should we blame you for the sins your father and grandfather did? Yes it's easier said than done but we have to move on from that era. If you will use the same logic in all the World Wars and civil wars, coups, we will still be at war against Spain, Japan, USA etc. These countries have murdered and raped thousands if not millions of Filipinos but we have forgiven them and we have already moved on. We have rebuilt our relationships with our former oppressors and it has been favorable. We have a rich and colorful history and our past is part of who we are but we should not dwell in it. We should learn from it but we shouldn't be vengeful. We cannot achieve true unity if we are vindictive. It's never healthy to hold a grudge on someone, especially for something you didn't experience personally.

     Bongbong has proven himself to be an effective leader. He pushed for the construction of the windmills in Ilocos which provides up to 70% of the northern grid's power and cut down the cost of electricity in the region. We gave an inexperienced son of Cory an opportunity to lead, why not give an experienced leader the chance to prove/redeem himself?

#NaisipKoLang
#GodBlessThePhilippines

"Democrazy?"

2016-02-26T01:04:00.000+08:00

Isa akong Martial Law baby. Nasa EDSA din ako tatlumpung taon na nakaraan kasama ang aking pamilya. Bata pa ako noon at siguro di ko lubos nauunawan kung ano ang ginagawa namin sa isang kalyeng punong puno ng mga tao. Basta pakiramdam ko isa itong malaking selebrasyon, sayawan at kantahan.

Makalipas ang ilang taon, pag tapak ko sa paaralan, tinatalakay ng mga guro ng kasaysayan kung paano napabagsak ang diktatorya at ang rehimeng Marcos. Kung gaano natatakot ang mga tao noong panahon ng Martial Law. Ngunit hindi ko ito maugnay sa sarili kong karanasan siguro dahil hindi ko nakita ang takot na ito sa aking mga magulang. Maaaring ayaw lang nila kami mag-alala o dahil na din sa aking kamusmusan kaya hindi ko ito napapansin. Basta ang paulit-ulit ko lang naririnig kapag Pebrero 25 ay ang salitang “democracy”.

Ano nga ba ang “democracy”?

Ito ay isang uri ng gobyerno o lipunan kung saan pantay pantay ang karapatan ng bawat mamamayan, at ang patakran ng karamihan ang siyang nangingibabaw. At totoo naman, bawat eleksyon nagkakaron tayo ng pagkakataong bumoto at ang nakakuha ng pinakamataas na bilang ay siyang tatayong pinuno. Tunay nga at inihahambing ang demokrasya sa kalayaan sapagkat sa isang demokrasya, malaya ang tao pumili. Malaya din mamuhay ng wasto sa ilalim ng batas.

Tatlumpung taon na nakalipas, may pagbabago ba? Isang kapansin pansin ay ang pagkakaroon ng “freedom of speech”. Kung noon ay hindi ka makapagsalita laban sa gobyerno, ngayon kahit anong lait mo hindi ka nila maaaring damputin basta basta. Ngunit ito lang ba ang dahilan ng pagtitipon sa EDSA? Hindi ba’t demokrasya at kalayaan sa kurap na diktaturya ang sinisigaw noon? At ngayon nasa atin na ang demokrasya at malaya na din tayong mamuhay, ano na ang nangyari? Tila nalasing na tayo sa sobrang demokrasya na nakalimutan natin na may batas at konstitusyon tayong dapat sinusunod. Nakalimutan natin na lahat ng sobra ay nakakasama.

At dahil sa kalasingan sa kalayaan, ang mga tao ay gagawin na lang kung ano ang kanilang nais. Dahil sa sobrang demokrasya, may kalayaan ang mga kurap na pulitiko na magnakaw sa gobyerno. May kalayaan na ang mga hacienderos at oligarcos na hindi tuparin ang naging kasunduan. May kalayaan na tumira sa mga kalye at kung saan saan ang mga informal settlers. May kalayaan magnakaw, holdap, rape, at pumatay ang mga kriminal. May kalayaan na umihi, dumura, at magtapon ng basura kung saan saan ang mga tao. May kalayaan magcounterflow at pumarada kahit saan ang mga may sasakyan. May karapatan tumawid kung saan saan ang mga pedestrian. Nakuha na natin ang kalayaan, nawala naman sa atin ang disiplina.

Kung hindi natin maibalik ang disilplina at maitanim ito sa utak ng bawat mamamayan, balewala ang pagiging malaya. Balewala ang pagkakaroon ng demokrasya sapagkat ang disiplina ang maguudyok sa atin na sumunod sa batas.

Cyber Martial Law?!!

2012-10-05T20:53:00.000+08:00

I've been reading about this a lot in the past few days and it seems to be the trending topic among blogsites and social networks. I must admit, I'm not an expert on this matter. I just want to understand it the best way I could, so feel free to correct me.

From the time the bill was authored and sponsored to the time it was approved and passed, some congressmen have denied voting 'yes' on the third reading and some senators even openly admitted to have 'overlooked' a part of the bill which they signed into law. I just want to put into words how I understood what I read from all over. Here is a summary of sorts.

To start of, the original bill included cyber-defamation as part of the Punishable Acts, however, that portion was removed by the House of Representatives and after the 3rd reading. Separately on the senate, they inserted the libel clause and as early as January 2012, they were on their 3rd reading. And since there were differences from the House's and Senate's version, a Bicameral Conference Committee was called for further reviews and reconciliation. (To further understand how a law is passed, click here.)

The Bicam then amended part of the bill for Real-Time Collection of Traffic Data and Restricting or Blocking Access to Computer Data which was intended for electronic crimes like Illegal Access, Illegal Interception, Data Interference, System Interference, Misuse of Devices(use, production, sale, procurement, importation, distribution or otherwise making available intentionally and without right), Computer Forgery, Computer-related Fraud, Computer-related Identity Theft, Cybersex, and Unsolicited Commercial Communications as mentioned in Section 4.

Unlike what most of the us know, the 'online libel' clause was inserted by Sen. Sotto on January 24, 2012 as per senate journal published by ABS-CBN News. And with this insertion it means that online libel would also be subject to Real-time Collection of Computer Data and Restricting or Blocking Access to Computer Data. The latter means that the government can block our access to certain websites like facebook or twitter, much like what the Chinese government does.

Unfortunately for us, the Bicam Committee decided to consolidate the senate version of the law. To top it off, the committee just recently lifted a part of Section 4 from the house version and inserted it as a completely new Section 6 into the RA 10175 and what we now know as the Cybercrime Law. It broadened the scope of the law which now states that "All crimes defined and penalized by the Revised Penal Code........shall be covered.......Provided, That the penalty to be imposed shall be one degree higher...."

So with the extraction of a part of Sec. 4 which was then inserted as Sec 6, does this mean, for example, if one was convicted of murder, and uses the internet to perpetrate his crime, one would be penalized under the Revised Penal Code and also with the Cybercrime Law even one degree higher? Doesn't that fall under double jeopardy?

And with Tito Sen's insertion of the online libel clause, isn't that suppression of our freedom to speak out? Not to mention, UN's declaration of internet freedom as a basic human right. Doesn't this contradict Section 4 of the Bill of Rights under the 1987 Constitution?

With this in mind, how was that law, with all the add-ons and insertions, ever signed and approved by our 'beloved' president? Has he no regard for the constitution and the people that he considers his "Boss"?

Wala lang. Nakiki-uso lang...

Magluto na Muna!

2012-09-04T17:01:00.001+08:00

Sa sobrang daming requests, tweets, texts, emails, snail mails, phone calls at telegrama na natatanggap ko asking for my very own recipé, i decided to post it dito sa aking betlog este Bet My Log.

Itong recipé na ito ay pawang likha lamang ng aking imahinasyon at likas na orihinal na komposisyon na inspirado ng kung anong madampot kong ingredient sa aming kusina. Anumang pagkakatulad sa ibang recipe jan ay maaaring nagkataon lamang at hindi sinasadya. Kung may reklamo, Isumbong mo kay Tulfo!

BABALA: PATNUBAY NG MAGULANG AY KAILANGAN SA MGA BATANG MAGBABASA.

Meat with Baby Corn and Quail Eggs in Oyster Sauce (Marinated in Worcestershire sauce)

Ingredients:
Meat(gluten,chix,pork,beef,)
Baby corn
Quail eggs
Minced Garlic(madami gusto ko!)
Bell pepper
Worcestershire
Soy sauce
Basil(ung dried and chopped)
Salt&Pepper
Water

Preparation:
-Marinate meat in 2tbsp soy sauce, about 3-5tbsp worcestershire(depende sa dami ng meat basta ma-coat generously lahat ng meat pero walang excess sauce), a tsp of basil and a tiny pinch of salt&pepper.
-Hard boil quail eggs(at syempre wag kalimutan tanggalin ang shell!)

Cooking instructions:
1. Sauté garlic in 2tbsp olive oil until brown, (add a little butter kung sinipsip lahat ng bawang ang oil)
2. Put in meat and fry until outer part is cooked. Then add oyster sauce.
3. Add water as necessary (increments of 1/4 cup)
4. Put quail eggs and baby corn and bell pepper and let it cook for about 5-6 minutes.
5. Voila! Kainan na!
6. Kung mahilig sa extra rice, magsaing muna bago lutuin ito...

Yan un as much as i remember it.. So if u have any questions, suggestions, comments at violent reactions mag-iwan lamang ng comment sa baba. Huwag matakot! This is a free country, you know!

O sya, lutuan na! Cha oh! Tsai tsien!

Ps. Baka may mag-reak about sa baby corn, sabihin young corn daw. Eh baby corn ang gusto kong itawag jan eh! Kahit pa tawagin kong pop corn yan wala ka nman magagawa kasi blog ko to! Blogkoto@walakangpakielam.com

Hahaha!

Responsible Parenthood, Informed Choice

2012-07-22T18:38:00.000+08:00

HOUSE BILL NO. 5043

What's wrong about the RH Bill? The antis react to it as though it legalizes abortion. If you have read it, you will understand that it is about responsible parenthood, informed choice, education, and respect for life. RH Bill is NOT about abortion. It is about informing the people of their responsibilities and does not in any way consent the evil act of abortion. It is stated in the bill itself that it does not change the law on abortion, and abortion remains a crime which is punishable by law. What it says though is to ensure that the women seeking care for post-abortion complication be treated in the most humane, non-judgemental and compassionate manner.

Let's face it, the popoulation is continuously growing and it is directly related to the increasing rate of poverty in the country. Poverty highly contributes to illiteracy and criminality in children. More and more crimes are being committed by young children and teenagers and we cannot discount the fact that these kids lacked proper guidance from their parents. With the rationale that sustainable human development is better assured with a manageable population of healthy, educated and productive citizens -- this policy, if enacted and enforced accordingly, would help assure a chance of a better life for the future generation.

In reality, the government is trying to secure a healthier population for our country. We must understand that we also have a moral obligation to the people especially the youth who are deemed to be the hope of our nation. If we look at what is happening now, families with low or no income are the ones who bear more children. Those children grow up without proper nourishment and guidance since their parents are incapable of providing even their very basic needs. We see these children roaming the streets, selling sampaguitas and asking for alms at a very young age, working to bring food on their table. That is not the life that these kids deserve. If their parents have been educated enough to know the consequences of their actions they should have been aware of their responsibilities and not "use" their kids to earn a living. We all know that there are syndicates who exploit children in their crimes.

Its tiring to hear drama and litany from them saying their children are blessings from God that is why they make a lot. Enough of that! Yes, children are blessings and as such they should be treated with dignity and should be well taken cared for and not considered as money makers. But on the contrary, they let their "blessings" work, beg on the streets, steal from other people, and in some cases sell them for profit. Is that the kind of world we want for the underprivileged children?

Bottom-line, if you can't take care of them, don't make them. If a family does not have the capacity to rear children, then you should not have one. Don't be selfish. Think of the child that they will bring to this world if they themselves rarely have food to eat. It is easy to say that it is their right to have as many children as they want, then let the government or society help them out if they can no longer sustain them. That is morally unsound and unjust. As a friend once posted in facebook, "Cure the source and cause, not the symptom and manifestation."

For me, a drastic solution to this is to have the government control pregnancies by ligation or vasectomy of those who make making children their habit. Government should offer free maternity service for the poor, study each family and scrutinize their ability to raise and care for their kids. If a family is only capable of raising one child, then by all means do the necessary surgery after their first kid. But then again, i am not in the position to do so. Just my two cents.

Pa-Utang Namo!

2012-06-27T14:48:00.000+08:00

Wow! Ang yaman pala ng Pilipinas at nag-pledge si president Noynoy ng $1B loan sa IMF. Akalain mo un, madaming government agencies ang nangangailangan ng mas malaking budget pero mas pinili pa ni Noynoy na magpautang. Isnt't it IRONIC? Don't you think? A little too IRONIC. Yeah, I really do think!

     Thinking mainly of profit na makukuha daw sa interest sa pautang, at siguro pasikat na din sa ibang bansa, Noynoy allegedly bypassed congress when he pledged to loan $1-billion to the IMF. Ang Pilipinas ngayon ay may utang na mahigit P5-trillion. So sa tingin mo, san galing ang $1B na ipapautang natin sa IMF? However, sabi dito (may link po), ayon sa BSP, ang Pilipinas daw ay may international reserves amounting to $76B, kung saan kukunin ang ipapautang. Pero since ito daw ay claimed/collected from non-residents, hindi ito pwede gamitin or ipahiram both sa Philippine public at private sectors. Ang mga reserves na ito ay magagamit daw lamang sa pag-obtain ng foreign-dominated assets issued by non-residents. May pera ang pinas pero may utang sya malaki kaya magpapautang na lang sya! Labo pre! Eh, pano?!

     Eh, pano naman ang Pilipinas? Pano nman ang mga lugar na walang opsital, eskuwalahan at sapat na kagamitan para sa mga ito? Pano naman ang ibang barrio na wala man lang access sa malinis na tubig? Pano ang mga probinsyang walang matinong kalsada? Pano ang problema sa pabahay at basura? Kung kailangan ng Europe ng pera, di hamak naman na mas kailangan ito ng Pilipinas!

   Sabi nila makakatulong din daw in the long run ang pagpapautang na ito dahil magiging stable ang economy ng Europa, at eventually, ang world economy. Makakapag-hire na daw ulit ng madaming OFW ang Europe which in turn means more profit para sa ating bansa thru remittance. Isa pa, pag um-ok na ang economy ng Europe, tataas na nman ang demand nila sa crudo na alam nating isa sa pinaka main problem sa bansa, which will also affect its supply, translating into higher prices. Law of supply and demand baga. Eh, bakit di na lang kasi gamitin ang perang ito for R&D at maka-imbento or discover ng alternative fuel or to build more schools and hospitals and businesses and small/micro businesses which would generate more jobs, ergo, no need to go abroad at mababantayan pa ng mga magulang ang kanilang pamilya at anak. Sus ginoo!

     Di naman sa nagmamaramot, pero isipin mo na lang, kunwari ang pamilya mo ay may utang na 5 trillion pesos, tpos nakita mo kapitbahay mo nangangailangan. Nangungutang syo ng 1 billion dollars na halos kasing laki din ng utang mo. Pero ung isang anak mo, kailangan ng bagong sapatos at uniform pang eskwela, ung isa nasa ospital nagpapagamot, ung isa magbabayad ng tuition sa La Salle Greenhills, at ung asawa mo kailangan ng pera pang grocery at palengke para may makain kayo araw-araw. Sa tingin mo ba, uunahin mo pang pautangin ung kapitbahay mo kesa sa mga anak mo at sa pamilya mong nangangailangan din?

     Yun lang. Chinkabawtit!

You Can Never Can Tell!

2012-06-21T18:28:00.000+08:00

Oh well, oh well, oh well...

Nakalimutan ko na may blog blogan pala ako! Ano na nangyari d2?! ANYAREEEE?!!! Ah ewan, basta ngayon nakita ko ulit kaya eto na nman... Walang basagan ng trip... Walang pakielamanan... Epal ka nman eh! OO ikaw kausap ko! Tanong tanong kpa jan.. Ung ibang nagbabasa walang kibo tpos ikaw mareklamo.. Relax ka na lang jan...

Hirap pala ng walang ginagawa. Ngyon 6/21/2012, nilalagnat na nman ang anak ko at kasalukuyan natutulog sya sa sofa. Kawawa nman, kung pwede lang kunin ko sakit nya eh. Bwisit talaga pag may sio sio ang anak mo. Kaya habang nagbabantay, pumepetiks na nman. Parang gusto ko uminom ng Jack or Black pero masyado pa maaga. Maya na lang cguro. Gawin ko na lang light para mas mura!

Naalala ko tuloy ung nabasa kong post ng isang friend ko sa fb. About sa mga nagfi-feeling inglisero't inglisera ndi lang sa kanto, madami na din nyan sa mall, sa jeep, sa bus, sa palengke, sa divisoria at tutuban. Di naman sa nanlalait or nanghusga pero cguro nman may karapatan din ako ma-irita! Wala nman perfect sa mundo, kahit ako man, maniwala man kayo or hindi, may kapintasan din. Tao lang din ako at hindi ako si THOR! But you know, kahit papano, marunong nman ako mag-ingles.

And to proove to that, I will right something in a english paragraph. Coz you know, a lot of peoples told to me taht i am a good english. And my grammers and speeling our ferpect. Didn't yuo thingk so, two? It is really not taht defficult to english just so long as you are know of the subdject-verv aggreement and of curse, the mostly infortant, is the speeling!

Yuo olso have two have a white vocabulary for order for yuo to use the write words at the rite thyme! Oderwise, the peoples around to here you speak rong english will say: "Ats if! Im sick of tired of those peoples speaking rong english! The nerd!"

Bat, if you are a good english you can anser back: "Connect me if im rong, but can you please mine you're own business and give me alone! And as a blessing in the sky, please dont make fond of me and just keep you're mouth shock!!"

You can never can tell nowadays who are a good english especially for you when the call center industry is many. Once in a new moon you may fine someone that is true good to be true, and when that time comes, when it rains, it's four!

If you like these, make a syrup copy and gave it to you're frens. I there you! I double there you!! Only guard knows, you might save someone's lives.

Sonny Boy!

2012-04-26T14:06:00.002+08:00

At the beach with my cousins back in 1988, I remember we dug a hole and placed a layer of newspaper then covered it with sand just enough to hide the newspaper but still hold the weight of the sand. Then we waited quietly for unsuspecting people to fall for our trap.

We did this a couple of times, trapped our uncles and aunts and some of their friends. Heard a few curses that kids like us shouldn't hear during that time. Got a few sermons from our parents(but we knew deep down they were also laughing their hearts out!). Nevertheless, we were young and stupid so we did it again(just like Britney!). But there is this one victim that would stick to my mind up to now. The lady looking for "Sonny Boy".

So there we were, waiting silently behind one of the beachfront kubo(the kawayan table and kawayan bench on both sides with a nipa-hut type roofing). I'm not sure as to whether it was early morning or just before the sunset, but we were hoping someone would walk into our trap soon coz we were getting bored. Then, we heard someone yelling, "Sonny Boy! Sonny Boy!" There's this lady(I think she was looking for her kid or probably her drunk husband), walking towards us, straight to our trap. We waited anxiously as she was getting closer and closer.

"Sonny Boy! Sonny Boooy!", she yelled. We were all a bit gigglish(not a real word but you know what i mean), but we pretended to be talking about something else. Playing innocent(we were good at it). She was getting closer and closer while continuously looking for her precious Sonny Boy and screaming his name out loud. Then with one last scream, "Sonny...." (SHOOT)! The inevitable happened. I don't remember hearing her words after that coz I was really amazed and shocked and scared and panicky to the point of bursting into a real LOL!

I have no recollection whatsoever about the aftermath of our prank or what became of Sonny Boy. Maybe I was still too light-headed and celebrating our success in prankland. It was just that particular scene that stuck to me.

So whoever, that lady was if you can read this, I apologize. Sorry for being young and stupid. The way I presented the story probably doesn't sound remorseful but its just how I remember it.

To the kids out there, I don't encourage you to try this prank. People have changed since then. You might end up defending your ass in court or worse, with a bullet through your brain.

Think before you dig!

Ang Sa'kin Lang (Aking Dalawang Centimos)

2012-04-24T20:24:00.000+08:00

Ang sakin lang eh....

Minsan OA na ang ibang groups/organizations. Hindi mo alam kung para sa publicity lang ba o papansin lang talaga. Although may mga times din naman na pasok ang mga reaction nila, meron din times na over na talaga.

Tulad na lang ng isang organization, may nakita lang na video tungkol sa mga matulungin na aso na naghihila ng kariton ng kanilang amo, reak agad na against animal rights daw. Oo, nung mga naunang reports, saludo ako sa kanila dahil mali naman talaga na isako ung aso o baboy at isabit sa likod ng sasakyan. Pero this time, kitang kita nman na healthy yung mga aso at masaya sila gawin yung pinapagawa ng amo nila. The dogs don't even look stressed or deprived, mukha pa ngang well-fed at alagang-alaga sila ng kanilang amo. Nawili lang ata at gusto parati kasama sa balita. Publicity, papansin, or downright OA?! Teka, "pause"(PAWS) muna..

Isa pa naman kilabot ang CHR when it comes to madaliang reaction. Kabalikat na ata ng lahat ng dispersals. Parang inaabangan na nga ng lahat na may isang pulis or official na ma-video na bumabatok or sumasapak sa mga nahuling militante/protesters/mob/criminal sabay sisigaw ng FOUL! Parang referee lang. Ganun na nga, gaya ng mga referees, may mga good calls, at meron din naman mga bad calls.

Isipin mo na lang isa ka sa mga pulis, and you see a mob throwing huge stones at you, may threat na sa buhay mo and those around you. Ako mismo will not take this sitting down. Kung tamaan ako ng malaking bato sa mukha siguradong tigok ako! Eh ayoko pa mamatay, lalo sa ganong paraan! Kaya kesa maunahan ako, lalaban na lang ako. Pero sa bansa natin, lalo na at pulis ka at may media sa paligid mo, pag literal na binato ka ng malaking bato, umilag ka lang at wag lumaban. Kawawa din naman ang mga pulis, kasi pwede din nman sila mamatay pag tinamaan ng malaking bato sa mukha. Yang mga pulis, tao din naman yan. Hindi yan ROBOCOP!

Sobrang big deal kasi pag pulis ang nanakit or nakapatay ng criminal. Pero pag pulis na ang nasaktan or napatay, sasabihin parte ng trabaho yan. Totoo nga naman na very high-risk ang pagiging alagad ng batas, pero parte din nman ng buhay nya ang survival. Tapos sasabihin yung mga nahuli at natamaan ng mga pulis ay mga bystanders or usisero lang sila. May usisero bang tatayo sa gitna ng labanan at may hawak pang bato o bote?! Siguro nga. Usi-nginang yan!

Siguro its about time na palitan ang Rules of Engagement ng PNP when it comes to over-aggressive protesters dahil pati ang buhay ng mga pulis at mga innocent civilians are at risk. Iba na kasi ang mga mob ngayon kadalasan wala na din sa lugar. Minsan kung sino pa ang mali, sila pa ang may ganang magalit at ipapasa ang sisi sa iba. Its a win-win situation talaga for the mob.

LAWko LAWko!

2012-04-22T12:17:00.000+08:00

KaLAWkohan!

Sa dinami-dami ng tao sa mundo na may iba't-ibang klaseng utak o pag-iisip, hindi maiiwasang magkaroon ng mga kauululan at kalokohan na sa mata ng iba, maaring maging katatawanan at sa iba naman ay somewhat offensive.

Kung sa kaululan din lang, hindi papahuli ang mga mambabatas. Ang dami naman pala kasing nakaka-aliw na LAW sa buong mundo. Parang mga usapang lasing lang nung ginawa ang mga batas na to! Tulad ng mga sumusunod.

Chekitawt!!!

Sa London, It is illegal to die in the House of Parliament.

-- Pano kung hindi mo sinasadya? Pano kung biglaan lang? Pwede ba i-postpone un??

Man1: "Mamamatay na ata ako!"

Man2: "Wag d2 pre! Pwede ba dun na lang sa labas?"

Sa UK, It is LAWFUL to kill a Scotsman in York if he is carrying a bow and arrow.

-- At least may chance syang lumaban.

Man1: "Excuse me sir, ang ganda nman ng bow and arrow mo! Scotsman ka ba?"

Scotsman: "Uy tenks ah! OO Scotsman ako!"

(gunshots follow)

Sa UK pa din, You can shoot a Welsh person with a bow and arrow in Chester, inside the city walls and after midnight.

-- Eto siguro yung kaaway nung Scotsman sa York...

Scotsman: "Psst, pogi! Madaling araw na ah, anong ginagawa mo d2?

Taga Wales ka ba?"

Welsh: "Ah nagmamadali kasi ako eh.. Yup taga Wales ako! Ikaw ba?"

pichuk! pichuk! (sound effect ng bow and arrow)

UK ulit, It is illegal for taxi drivers to carry rabid dogs or corpses.

-- Ahhh... Ehhhh.... Ansabe??

Pulis: "Hoy! Alam mo bang bawal magdala ng bangkay at asong ulul?!"

Taxi Drayber: "Grrrrrrrr! Woof woof!! Grrrrrrr!!"
Corpse: "Braaaaaaaiiin!"

Eto pa, Any whale washed up on the shore is the property of the Queen.

-- Eh di iyo na!! Ikaw na maging Armida Siguion-Reyna!!

Alagad: "Your Majesty, eto na po yung whale na napadpad jan sa shore.."

Queen: "Ay tamang-tama, dalin mo dun sa kitchen sabihin mo i-relyeno!"

Meron pa, It is legal for a male to urinate in public, as long as it is on the rear wheel of his motor vehicle and his right hand is on the vehicle.

-- So kailangan may tamang pose pa? Papa-picture lang??

                    Pulis: "Hoy! Jan mo lang itutok yan sa likod na gulong! Hep, hep, hep!
                             Yung RIGHT HAND mo ipatong mo lang sa kotse mo! Yan! Okey...
                             Hold that position... Ok, 1-2-3... say cheese!!"

In London it is illegal to hail a taxi while suffering from bubonic plague.

-- Pag bubonic ka, bawal mag taxi. Bus ka na lang para mas maraming mahawa sayo...

Bubonic: "Taxi! Taxi!"
Taxi Drayber: "Grrrrrr! Woof woof! Grrrrrrr!"
Bubonic: "Ay may sakay palang bangkay at asong ulul.."
Pulis: "Hoy! Bubonic ka ha! Bakit ka pumara ng taxi?! Sa presinto ka na
magpaliwanag!"

Hayup to! Sa UK na naman, It is illegal for any commoner's pet to have carnal knowledge of an animal belonging to the monarch.

-- Una, pano mo mapipigilan ang ka-erbogan ng alaga mong aso?

Pangalawa, pano nila malalaman na minamanyak ng aso mo ang aso nila??

                     Commoner's dog#1: "Pare, nakikita mo ba yang chix na yan! Ang ganda ng
                                                  pagkakulubot nya.. Bagay na bagay kame! Yum yum yum!"
   Commoner's dog#2: "Tanga! Yan ung queen!!"

Sa Singapore, It is illegal to walk around in your own house naked.

-- Kung mag-isa ka lang sa bahay, sino magsusumbong sayo?

   Ikaw: "Wala nman ibang tao sa bahay, maghubad na nga lang ako.."
   Ikaw#2: "Hoy bawal yan! Isusumbong kita sa pulis!"
   Ikaw: "Wag! Please, maawa ka satin.."
   Ikaw#2: "Sorry naka-decide na ko.."

In Bozeman, Montana, a law prohibits all sexual activity from the front yard of a home after sundown.

-- Oo nga nman. Madilim na kasi, mahirap na sila mamboso. Gawin mo na lang sa umaga!

Pulis: "O, ung mga may balak jan, gawin nyo na habang maliwanag pa!!"

In California it is illegal for a vehicle without a driver to exceed 60 miles per hour.

-- Madami sigurong nakakulong na Autobots dito.

                    Optimus: "Autobots, dahan dahan lang ang andar.."
                    Megatron: "Habulin mo ko, Prime!!"
                    Optimus: "Ulul! Ayoko na ma-ticketan!"

In Alabama, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle.

-- Ah talga? Bakit kaya??

Pulis: "Bakit kaya wala akong nahuhuling lumalabag sa batas na to?!"

In New York, the penalty for jumping off a building is: Death.

-- Baka nman pwedeng pag-usapan na lang natin yan.. Pwede bang life imprisonment

na lang??

                     Man: (tumalon sa building....SPLAT!)
                     Pulis: "You are under arrest! Anything you say can or will be used against you
                              in the court of law..."

Sa Washington, it is illegal to have sex with a virgin under any circumstances.

-- So antayin na lang natin maging extinct ang mga taga-Washington!

Priest: "You may now kiss the bride.. KISS lang ha!!"
Groom: "BUSET!"

In Samoa, it’s a crime to forget your own wife’s birthday.

-- Pffft! Samoa amp!!

Wife: "Hon, magbakasyon nman tayo sa Samoa!! Please.."
Husband: "Birthday mo na naman ba?!"
Wife: "Wow! Natandaan mo Hon?"
Husband: "OO nman! Last year pinakulong mo ko dun eh!!"

Ayan! Kung sino man ang gumawa ng mga batas na to, siguro wala din magawa. Parang ako lang. BUSET!!

Parang gusto ko tuloy mag-aral ng LAW.

Sunday ngayon BLOGGERKADS! Mag-simba ka naman!

[source1] [source2] [source3] [source4]

UFO!!!

2012-04-21T13:00:00.000+08:00

UFO!!! Hindi yung aliens from outer space or mga sci-fi movies. Totoo ito!!

Siguro naman hindi lang ako ang naka-experience nito. Yung bigla ka na lang may nakikitang lumulutang lutang sa isang mata mo at pag sinusundan mo ng tingin, lumalayo naman. Pero pag bigla ka tumingin sa ibang direction, lalabas na nman sya!

Hindi ko alam kung may medical term dito, basta ang tawag ko sa kanila ay Unidentified Floating Objects or "eye floaters"!

Saan ba nanggagaling itong microscopic organisms na ito na nakikita sa sarili mong mata pero pag iba ang tumitingin, wala nman. Parang visible lang siya when viewed from the inside. Iba-ibang shapes pa kung minsan pero madalas parang maliliit na putol na sinulid.

May times na nagpapakita ito pag bagong gising (bukod sa muta..), habang nagda-drive, during swimming, pag tulala ka, pag sumasagot ng crossword or Sudoku sa cr, pag naglalaro ng draw something, habang nag-scuba diving, bungee jumping, white water rafting, parasailing, wind surfing, horse back riding sa hacienda ng "conyo" friend mo, habang nagbi-bingo, tongits, pusoy dos, poker, jackstone, jerjer, at kung minsan naman, wala lang! Parang nang-aasar lang.

So habang sinusulat ko to, ginoogle ko only to find out na meron pala talagang EYE FLOATERS! At ayon kay Dr. Google, Eye floaters can range from the merely annoying to the visually disabling.

Whew! Hindi naman ganun ka-grabe ang nakita ko. Yung tamang pang-asar lang. Merely annoying nga lang daw. Pero bakit nga ba pag maliit madalas nakaka-irita?! Sabagay sabi nga ng matatanda, "Walang malaking nakakapuwing!". Sige, subukan mong kumuha ng hollow block at ipasok mo sa talukap ng mata mo! Kasya ba?? Hindi di ba?? Tanga lang?!!

Nonsense kung nonsense! Pwede na din! Hahaha!

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INET!!!

2012-04-20T15:08:00.000+08:00

Ang tindi na talaga ng init ngayon! Ibang klase sagad hanggang buto!

Natatandaan ko pa nung bata pa ako, madalas kami naglalaro sa labas ng bahay ng mga "conyo" dabarkads ko, pero hindi naman ganito ka-init. Dati, pag summer break, mula umaga hanggang gabi ang laro sa kalye. Taguan, patintero, agawan base, palos, langit lupa, piko, jolens, at naabutan ko din ang barilan ng pellet gun (yung mga de-kasa lang..). Ngayon, subukan mo lumabas at maglaro, 5 minutes pa lang mahi-heatstroke ka na! Para bagang nasa oven toaster ka at unti-unting niluluto ng earth.

Temperature ni Earth parang nilalagnat na eh. Ikaw ba naman abusuhin ng ganyan. Isipin mo na lang ikaw si Earth, at ang mga buhok mo sa ulo, ilong, at kili-kili (sama mo na ang bulbol mo sa buong katawan), ay mga puno. Bunutin mo yan isa-isa, di ba masakit? Isang buhok nga lang ang bunutin mo sa ilong mo, mangiyak-ngiyak ka na eh. Subukan mo pa sabay sabay!

Lets say na ikaw pa din si Earth, tapos pa-usukan ka ng mga tao sa paligid mo. Bugahan ka ng usok galing sa sigarilyo, tambucho, factory, chimney (wow chimney!), pati na din utot! Di ba halos himatayin ka sa sobrang carbon monoxide or dioxide?!

JUICE KO!!! Asan na ang juice ko?! Damihan mo yung ice ha!! Ay, sorry kausap ko si yaya ko... Nagpatimpla kasi ako ng juice...

Asan na ba tayo? Ah! Ako nandito pa din sa pwesto ko. Tinitingnan ang paligid. Sa dami ng sasakyang dumadaan, on and off ang traffic. Sa panahon ngayon, hindi na kaya ng electric fan ang init! Eh hinihigop lang nman nya yung hangin sa paligid tpos ibubuga sayo. Parang hinihipan ka din lang ng mga taong katabi mo! Nakakapang-init ng ulo!! Mabuti na lang at naimbento ang aircon. Pero kelan kaya maiimbento ang LIBRENG KURYENTE?!!!

Pano, may aircon ka nga, ang mahal naman ng babayaran mong kuryente. Mabuti pa yung mga illegal settlers (skwaters/skH2O/skwamags/skwating/skwachics), yung iba jan kumpleto sa gamit. May aircon, LCD tv, laptop, desktop, washing machine, atbp. Di mo tuloy maiwasan mag-isip... Yung iba kasi sa kanila, libre din ang kuryente. Illegal settlers with illegal connections. Yan ang pinakamalaking source ng loss na sinasabi ng Meralco. At dahil responsible ang Meralco sa kanyang mga stockholders, ito naman ay buong puso nilang sinisingil sa kanilang legitimate paying customers. Ang saya noh?! BUSET!!!

Nonsense?! NONSENSE UR FACE!!!

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Uncommon Sense!!!

2012-04-19T12:21:00.001+08:00

     Bukod siguro sa 5 senses natin (sight, touch, taste, smell, at hearing), isa ito sa pinaka-importanteng katangian ng mga tao na dahilan na din kung bakit tayo naiiba sa mga hayop sa mundo, ang COMMON SENSE.

     Kaya nga tawag dito ay common eh, kasi ordinary at familiar. Kumbaga alam na ng nakararaming tao. Pero bakit nga ba madami pa din ang hindi ginagamit o nakakalimutan gamitin ang importanteng "sense" na ito? Katangahan lang ba talaga ang dahilan? Or maling pamamaraan ng pagsagot sa mga hiling at katanungan??

     Siguro naman marami na ang nakapanood ng scripts ng mga stand-up comedians particularly si Vice Ganda. Isa sa mga paborito ko is yung sa department store yung nagtanong sya sa isang sales lady:

          Vice: "Miss, may sizes kayo nito?"

          SL: "Para sa inyo po?"

          Vice(pilosopo): "Hindi! Para sayo. Bibilhan kasi kita eh! Ano ngang size mo??"

     O di kaya yung sa jeep and/or any PUV...

          Vice: "Para po."

          Drayber: "May bababa?"

          Vice(pilosopo agen): "Ay, wala! May sasakay. Kaya nga para eh..."

     Natural na lang siguro na magkadikit ang common sense at sense of humor. Kasi pag walang common sense ang kausap mo, madalas nasusundan ito ng katatawanan(except na lang siguro kung sobrang tatanga-tanga na..)! Kasi nung pinapanood ko yun, tawang-tawa talaga ako. Wala lang. Sinasabi ko lang na tawang-tawa ako, bakit?! Pake mo?!! Hahaha!! Pero di ko sukat akalain na ma-experience ito personally, pero sa ibang setting naman.

     Nasa isang coffe shop kami noon ng mga "conyo" friends ko at nagkataon na yung nagserve sa table namin is trainee pa lang ("lang" is not meant as a derogatory term, but only to imply that the guy is a newbie....kala nyo ha!). So anyway, we were about to leave kaya I asked for the bill.

          Ako: "Boss(usual tawag sa waiter or server...minsan pwede din daw Dyords

ayon kay Uncle Jojo..) bill out na.(kasama ung hand gesture na nagfo-form
ng maliit na rectangle)"

     At nagulat ako sa sagot ng waiter.

          Waiter: "Bill nyo po?"

          Ako(napaka-pilosopo!): "Hindi! Bill nilang lahat. Paki kuha mo na yung bill ng

ibang table, ako na magbabayad!"

But of course lahat ng yun ay sinabi ko lang pagka-alis nung waiter. Syempre ayoko naman maka-offend ng tao lalo na nagta-trabaho sya ng marangal. Pero hindi ko matiis na matawa pag alis nya. Well at least hindi nya nalalaman at wala syang kamalay-malay! Haha! Feeling ko tuloy isa akong badinggerzi sa comedy bar! WAPAK!!

Nonsene na naman?! Buset ka pangatlo na to ah! Wag ka na nga lang mangielam nakikibasa ka na nga lang eh.. Hehehe...

For your negative comments and violent reactions login to:

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Eto nga pala si Uncle Jojo...

Sio Sio

2012-04-18T15:52:00.000+08:00

Hay Buhay! Parang Life! Bakit kaya pag ikaw (ako!) ang nagkakasakit, ok lang at kung minsan kinatutuwa mo pa dahil magagamit mo (ko!) ang SLs or kung minsan, pati VLs mo. May mga pagkakataon pa nga na iniisip mo lang na may sakit ka at nagpapanggap na may sakit para makasama ka sa gimik ng dabarkads or maka-attend ka ng pa-morningan na bday party inuman ng bespren mo. Todo sa acting when you call in sick, pwede pang Oscar awards! Kung um-acting, WAGAS! At one point in your life siguro nman nasubukan mo gawin ito probably sa school or at work or kung ano man ang nais mong iwasan puntahan.

"GUILTYYYY!!!", ika nga ni Peter Griffin ng Family Guy. Nagawa ko na lahat ng yan.

I remember, nung elementary pa ko sa isang napakagandang exclusive school sa Ortigas kung saan napaka-tatalino at gentelmen and, not to mention down-to-earth ang mga estudyante, pag tinatamad ako pumasok andyan na ung nag ubo-ubohan ka, tae-taehan, suka-sukahan in short, sakit-sakitan! At ang mga parents ko naman willing magpa-uto. Hindi ko alam kung worried talaga sila na may sakit ako or pinababayaan na lang nila ako mag-inarte. Nasa isip ko lang noon, "Yes, nakaisa na nman ako!" or "Wohoo! Mapapanood ko na nman ang Valiente at Agila!". At within the duration of that day, todo alaga naman sila ermom at tatawag pa si erdad just to check up on me. I really didn't get it until now.

Ngyon na may anak na din ako at sariling pamilya, iba pala talaga pag nakita mong may sakit ang anak mo. Kahit pa sakit-sakitan lang yan, kahit papano concerned ka at hindi maiwasang mag-alala. Lalo na pag kinuha mo na ang temperature nya sa thermometer (malamang sa thermometer!) at nakitang legit ang kanyang sakit (wow nag-rhyme!). Just seeing your kid feverish, resting on the bed or on the couch at hindi makapaglaro or hindi ka kinukulit, is really heartbreaking. Kung pwede lang i-absorb mo ang sakit nya para ikaw na lang ang mag-suffer instead of your kid, gagawin mo talaga. Mahirap kasi sa isang magulang ang makitang nahihirapan ang kanyang anak. Any parent would agree to that.

Looking back, yung mga ginagawa ko noon, I think I would have responded the same way my parents did. Concerned at will do anything just to make everything better.

Nonsense again?! Wala kang pakielam, blog ko to!! (Hehehe...)

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TOINK!

2012-04-17T15:58:00.000+08:00

Ang Simula Ng Kaululan!

Haha! Just created a blogger.com account kahit hindi ako marunong mag-blog!

Sa wakas pwede na ko magpaka "feeling blogger". Maipagmamalaki na ko ng mga magulang ko! May maidadagdag nko sa resume ko. May ipagmamayabang nko sa mga 'conyo' friends ko. May license na ko to create/invent new terms which would eventually make it to the Merriam-Webster dictionary. May dahilan na ko para mag-complain sa iba't-ibang establishments at tatakutin ko sila by saying, "blogger ako, and I'll write bad reviews about this place!".(joke lang po! ;p)

Ano nga ba isinusulat sa isang blog? Para saan ba ang blog? Sino-sino nga ba ang may karapatang gumawa ng isang blog??

Ang sagot : MA at PA! (MAlay ko at PAkielam ko!)

Marami din kasi iba't-ibang klaseng blogs. Meron about food and travel, hobbies, health, sports, social awareness, education and politics. Pero I'm not an expert sa mga field na yan. Sa totoo lang, wala lang akong magawa ngayon (as if may ginagawa talaga ako!), I just chanced upon a blog of a certain "Ligaya", then nakita ko ung button na "bumuo ng blog" and the rest is history. Lahat ng tao na may access sa internet ay maaaring mag-blog about any topic under the sun. Ang nakakatakot dito is, walang censorship dahil hindi nman hawak ng MTRCB ang internet kaya anyone can really write anything! Parang ako lang! Eto walang magawa kaya nag-blogger bloggeran.

I have read a lot of articles from different bloggers pero I dont really follow any specific blogger kasi to be honest, katulad ng half the population ng Pilipinas, hindi ako mahilig magbasa. Eh hindi ko nga alam kung may magbabasa ba ng blog kong ito. Well, kung meron man, salamat sa inyo! (inyo?! feeling maraming readers ha!)

O sya mga BLOGGERKADS, sa susunod na lang ulit! Nag-eedit pko eh. (Naks! Ume-edit na!!!)

Tsai chien!