Today, I read that the monarch is being put on the endangered list. Its numbers have declined up to 70% in the past 10 years. After reading that I went into my bathroom and sobbed. The monarchs are endangered because of lack of habitat, pesticides and herbicides.

One of the most beautiful films I ever saw was an IMAX about the migration of the Monarch butterfly. They have this instinctive urge to migrate from North America to Mexico and back again. The amazing thing is that it is not the same butterfly! They die and reproduce along the way but they continue in this migratory pattern no matter where they are in their own life cycle. So beautiful, fragile and yet strong.

Reading that they are now on the endangered list broke me today. It brought to the surface all the feelings of grief and anxiety I have been feeling about the environment but keep trying to shove down. Anyone that has been halfway paying attention this summer has had to have noticed the effects of climate change! The whole planet is literally on fire and we just carry on like nothing unusual is happening.

Are we able to turn this thing around before it gets too late? I truly believe that most of yesterday’s solutions are today’s problems. Industrial agriculture was the solution to feeding the world after WW2. Fossil fuels have been our energy solution since before the industrial revolution. It's hard to think of solutions to today's problems when all we see around us is fire, increasing carbon in the air we breathe, plastic litter, and loss of species. So heavy.

It’s not the carbon footprint of the average person that is the problem it is our larger industries and systems we have built. We ALL play a part in the cycle of events happening now and we can only change things we take responsibility for. So where to start?? I am not sure but I think I’m going to start researching the big agricultural chemical companies and see where I can be a voice for change there. Maybe action in any small way will help me deal with this hopeless feeling??

The bottom image is a journal page I did a while back that seems fitting for today. I pray that one day we can look back and say - Wow! Look how this all worked out.

I finished my 100 Day project about a week ago. If you have been kind enough to follow me through the journey I hope you will indulge me this little wrap-up.

“The100dayproject” was a prompt I did along with thousands of other artists all committing to doing something creative for 100 days. I chose to do 100 days of words or phrases in my art journal. I enjoy working in my art journal and I spend a lot of time listening to podcasts or reading books that I take notes from. I thought this would be the perfect combination- a place to collect the words I want to remember and commit to doing something creative for 100 days.

Here are a few things I learned over the process.

1. 100 days is a really long time that flies by in a minute. Around day 70 I thought I would never be free from this task. I could not wait to be done. It seemed like I had been doing it forever and had run out of any good ideas. Now that its over, I look back and think it all went by in a flash! I have no idea how this many months passed so quickly. I don’t care what you say, time is literally speeding up.

2. Your creative energy is a currency too. The saying “Time is money” also goes for your creative time and energy. This project actually took me 111 days to complete. For 100 of those 111 days the art journal was the only art I made. You are probably wondering, what’s the big deal? The big deal is those were 100 days that I could have been working on other projects that I have wanted to do for a long time but I didn't. There are 365 days in a year and every morning presents each of us with a new opportunity to choose how we will spend our own precious 24 hours.

3. Accountability is key! I don’t know about you but I need to be held accountable. Declaring my intentions for this project on the blog and via Instagram helped me stay focused and follow through. I realize that I need to set up ways to hold myself accountable for projects I have in the works. So, I am voicing that intention now. -Hello Universe! I am looking for an art group or accountability group or someone to help me stay on track!

4. The let down always comes. The big crash, I have experienced it before. After different life events, having an art show or doing theater -when the run finally ends there is a a BIG let down. I underestimated the slump I would feel at the end of this journey. Even though I was ready to move on to the next thing, I found myself feeling out of sorts, uninspired and unmotivated for the past week. I think the commitment to the project gave me direction and now that its over its taking a little time to right the ship. - What is life but a series of of ups and downs and soon will come the next thing.

I’ve attached a few of my favorite pages below. If you are interested in seeing all the entries you can find them at this link @beth_ dougherty _art. I also made a few of the popular pages into art prints and cards that you can find on ETSY at BethDoughertyArt or on RedBubble at Beth Dougherty.

Thank you so much for caring to read this! I appreciate the support and all the feedback I have gotten from you.

Talk to you soon,
XO Beth

Every spring we always clean up our yard and plant things for summer, this time it felt different. I decided, since I spend a lot of time in my kitchen looking out of our large glass doors, hithat area should be pretty and something that brings me joy. I bought some new planters and flowers. I arranged all my pots and my little table. I put bird feeders in the tree. I know that it will be at least a month before the flowers fill in but that little bit of work made me feel great.

We always take care of our yard so I was trying to figure out why this particular patio clean up felt so good. I realized that the intended purpose was actually an exercise in feeling worthy. I was not just cleaning up the yard from the winter because it was the responsible adult thing to do. No, I was intentionally creating something because of the way I want to feel.

I want the area I stare at the most in the day to be a spot of beauty. I am already envisioning cooking dinner and glancing up to catch a bird at the bird feeder or butterflies fluttering around. I am already thinking about enjoying a coffee or a cocktail at my little table.

This was an exercise in worthiness because I declared myself important enough to deserve the view I want.

Instead of being stingy and trying to nurse some ailing plants back from the winter or keeping the crumbling pots that are not useful or pretty, I prepared everything with the intended transformation in mind: "I want to have a beautiful view." By setting that intention I was unconsciously saying “I am worthy”. I feel worthy enough to surround myself with things that make me feel good.

The funny thing is I did not spend any more money than I normally would have but the intention made all the difference.

Thanks for reading! I hope you do something to make yourself feel good today.

XO Beth

p.s. I am still plugging away at #the100dayproject. Below you will find some more of my favorites. Head to the Instagram link to see them all.

Women have always been taught to be “good” little girls

As I reflect on my life I see that a lot of my decisions have been made out of the fear of not being judged as good. For many of us, being good means you have to please everyone else. There are many examples of women self-sacrificing and playing small in life. Those choices made by people I look up to influence me the same way that my actions influence countless other people. If it is something that has been ingrained in us from childhood, how can we even realize when we are falling victim to it?

I am thinking of my great-aunt Ladean. We called her Aunt Dee Dee. She was a beautiful, modern, world traveler and independent business woman. My young Dad and his sisters looked at her with starry-eyed admiration. She was a beacon of accomplishment, DeeDee’s example said - “Look at me! This is what you can be too.”

I remember Aunt Dee Dee telling me once that when she was young she would go to the movies and watch films like “Three Coins in a Fountain” or “Roman Holiday” and they called her to explore the world. In the 1950’s and 1960’s she worked as a chemist at Dupont and owned her own restaurant. She led tour groups all over Europe. She and a friend had matching dinnerware and crystal and would pool their china to throw epic dinner parties for their friends. She was a woman ahead of her time standing in considerable power. She was doing “good.”

At some point in the 1970’s she was called back home to help her sister care for their ailing mother because she would not go into a nursing home. Home nursing care was not as common back then and there were probably other factors at play as well. Ladean was a successful, single woman that stepped back from her independent life to be “good.” Her coming back home sent a subtle message “Look at me, you have to do this too.” She became a school teacher and a care-taker. Of all the choices to be made, she chose to shrink down and do her duty. Her duty was to be a good daughter and good sister.

If you were to ask her, I am sure she would have said she had a good life. But when I was growing up I never got the feeling that she actually did. She always seemed to me to be unhappy deep inside, maybe even a little bit angry. She was always a kind and gentle person but never joyful.

As I look back at her now, I see that she was naturally a “giver”. Much of her life was rooted in service to others. To own a restaurant or to entertain groups of people on their vacation you have to have a heart for service. When she was serving in ways that her own heart instigated she brought much joy and happiness to people and accomplished many things. I witnessed her start a charitable group to support a young woman and her family that had gone through multiple organ transplants. She spear-headed charities at her church. She visited and cared for elderly people. She organized vital social gatherings for the seniors in her area for as long as she could. She nurtured countless stray animals. She was a caretaker at home to her elder sister, ultimately sacrificing her own mental and physical health. She managed, despite living in circumstances that were not her first choice to create pockets of joy for herself. But, I wonder how could her life and everyone else’s by association have been different had she chosen to follow her own path instead of going back home to be ”good.” Instead of pockets of joy, imagine the exponential joy and generosity she could have given and received had she been able to fully live her own version of life. She was a role model to many of us and we unconsciously choose things in our own lives influenced by her example. Everything has ripple effects.

As women we have been taught to be good. Money strategist, Allyson Byrd, defines being good as being compliant and conforming. I believe that to be true. If you were to ask my aunt if she led a happy life I am sure she would have said yes with resignation in her voice. She traded her life to be a martyr to the needs and wants of other people. She traded her power and her passion to be “good.”

How many of us do that? How many of us trade our true selves and desires for the reward of being seen as “good” in someone else’s eyes? A woman in my Aunt’s era would have been scandalous if she were not self sacrificing.

It is drilled into each of us as little girls that as women, mothers, wives, friends, employees, etc. we must sacrifice ourselves to be the good girls for everyone else. I am a woman that came of age in the 1980’s. Women my age have much more agency and freedom than our mothers. I have teenage daughters coming of age right now and yet I realize that I am STILL unconsciously raising them to be good and compliant girls.

Everywhere we look we are told we are not good enough. It is probably half the basis of our economy! Buy this and you will look, feel, be acceptable. People are afraid of powerful women. Unfortunately, that is just bad marketing. Women who own their own power raise everyone else up. To be clear, owning your own power is not the same as being a controlling narcissist. I argue that women owning their own power creates more harmony, peace and health in the world. Why should half the world’s population have to discount themselves as fundamentally unworthy?

I wonder, what are the ripple effects of my “good” behavior? Who is looking to me to see how to act in any given situation? If I am really doing all these things just to be judged as “good” what happens to all those emotions of anger and resentment I am eating?

As women, we need to update our definition of what it means to be a good girl. If standing in my power means doing what is right for me to be a balanced and healthy person, then chances are it will have a positive ripple effect on all the other people in my life. Isn’t that good?

My aunt Ladean ultimately chose her own path and her soul grew out of the consequences of her choices. We all choose our own journeys. If you know down deep inside that there’s more for you, if you know that you are choosing to be compliant and pleasing to others instead of answering that call that has been tugging at your heart, know this: it is not an either or situation. You can be both! God laid that desire on your heart for a reason.

Countless women have come before us making incremental changes so that we can step into our power and be who we are meant to be. As we step into our own power and lead authentic lives we become a beacon of empowerment to our children, our family, our friends, whoever comes into contact with us showing them by example that it is okay to be the truest version of themselves.

We will have the energy and the compassion to love and care for all in our circle that need it. We will be able to help women in other countries elevate and liberate themselves from oppression and eventually change their own culture. That is true goodness. That is the kind of good girl I aspire to be. That is the “goodness “ I pray for the courage to live.

To my generous, kind, sweet Aunt Dee Dee: I like to think of you in heaven as a glamorous soul entertaining guests, wearing red lipstick and throwing epic dinner parties. In memories of your life there was a lesson. Your influence was powerful and no matter what you did or didn’t do you were inherently good. May we all see that inherent goodness in ourselves.

All the best,
XO Beth

I’m still trying to do an art journal page a day. At this writing I am on day 49 and still waiting for inspiration to hit! Covid restrictions in Germany have eased a bit but we’re still mostly house bound which is good for working on art projects. Here are a few of my favorites from the past couple of weeks.

Thanks for looking!
XO Beth

Recently, A friend and I were hiking and talking about all the difficult things going on in in the world and in our lives. This is what occurred to me during the conversation:

Everything in life is challenging us to get ourselves together. Do you see it?

This pandemic and the lock down have shown a spotlight on all the things that have been simmering under the surface. Collectively, we’ve been forced out of our usual routines. We haven’t been able to distract ourselves in familiar ways and that has brought about a lot of unrest. We finally have time to see those things that have been calling out for our attention - personally and globally.

For me personally, the slowing down of life has been uncomfortable to say the least. I am used to “busyness” taking up a lot of my mental band width. My busyness keeps me from seeing what I need to see to get myself together.

Anything that happens personally also happens on a global level. As nations, as a culture, as an organization, as a family, as a person we are only as healthy as our weakest link, individual, cell, etc. This time is giving us an opportunity to to reevaluate how we define strength and health. It is exposing all the cracks in the machine.

We are faced with many challenges. Do we want to view those challenges as making us stronger or making us victims?

In this tumultuous time period we have seen a lot of our institutions, religions, beliefs and personal behaviors come under scrutiny. Instead of being triggered into negative reactivity can we be triggered into self inquiry? Should we as a population continue to live this way? Can we sustain capitalism in the same way we always have? Can the environment continue to bear the burden of commercialism the way it has this past century? Should our political institutions grow and evolve along with us? Should we approach our mental and physical health the way we always have? How do we want to show up in this world, do we want to be the light or the darkness?

Many gurus and thought leaders keep saying that we are going through a time period of great enlightenment on this planet. I am not sure I agree with that but I do see that something has conspired against us all to push us toward our evolution. It seems like the idea that it is leading us to enlightenment is just positive thinking. There is so much angst and fear how could that be leading to our enlightenment?

Perhaps SEE-ing is the key. If we choose to see the challenges as our road map to salvation instead of seeing them as our burdens, we may be able to overcome them. If we evaluate our challenges through the lense of love instead of fear we can see the positive changes we are being pushed toward.

Take a situation that challenges you and try to think of how that might be calling you to your higher purpose. - A personal example: Lately, I feel like my body is betraying me. I have always been in good health but now my joints ache, most days my working memory is SLOW and foggy, hot flashes are keeping me from a good nights sleep and irritating the crap out of me during the day. - In truth, instead of betraying me my body is calling me to get my act together. My body has been covering my bad behavior for years and it is ready for me to step up. Its tired of unmanaged tension, eating my feelings, bad food, lack of exercise and forgetting sunscreen. I have two choices, I can rise to the challenge and change my behavior or I can complain about it.

I am trying to see the challenges as opportunities for expansion. I am not always very good at it. When I have the time to be creative in my art journal or when I am fortunate enough to walk out in nature I can usually get the mental space I need to put things in perspective.

Earlier in this blog I asked a lot of questions, here are two more for you to think about:
Do you feel like there are more problems in this world than usual?
Do you see those challenges as opportunities for growth or as someone else’s problem?

As always, if you read this far - thank you!

I am still keeping up with #The100dayproject. Here are a few highlights from the past two weeks. If you want to see all the work you can find it here.

XO Beth

Are you intrigued by secret societies? Me too!

This is a true story. About two years ago I was helping my parents clean out my great grandparents house. All of the men on my father’s side of my family, including my father, have been Masons. (My father never actually talks about it though).
When we were clearing one of the dressers I found a very old Masonic handbook that belonged to my great grandfather. I asked my Dad if I could have it and he said yes. Because I was flying back to Germany and I had a very tightly packed suitcase I decided to mail the handbook and a few other things to myself instead of carrying it in my suitcase. A few weeks after I got back to Germany the box arrived in the mail. It had been torn to pieces and badly taped back up. A few of the items inside were broken and a few things were missing. Among the missing was the Masonic handbook. Weird, right? The secret text outsiders were not supposed to look at was gone from the package.
What is crazier is that someone at the post office had put the book “The Men Who Stare at Goats” into the box and taped it back up. On one level it is hilarious that a box would be destroyed in the mail and a postal worker would look at the mess and for whatever reason put a random book in the package and call it good. BUT on another level I think it is a little freaky that of all the mail to go missing - that book (of all books) ends up getting lost and then replaced with a book about people with magical mental powers.

I believe the “Masonic Powers that Be” intervened to make sure I did not get my hands on their manual. It was very mysterious and I guess their secret is STILL safe.

Have you ever had an unexplained, mysterious happening in your life? A coincidence that is too weird to write off? Let me know in the comments below.

This week I am 1/5th of the way through this 100 day journey of quotes and collages. I feel like I just started this project yesterday. It confirms my suspicion that time is actually speeding up. Do you feel this way too? It reminds me that time is precious and our only non-renewable resource. (See day 21.) I need to be conscious of how I spend my time.

I hope this note finds you happy and well and enjoying how you spend your time!

XOBeth

It is week nine of our tight lockdown in Germany. Right now, my world seems pretty small. We are stuck in the house by order of the government and by order of Mother Nature.

Freezing temperatures, negative news stories and social isolation are all enough to make a person feel crazy and believe me, lately I do. One thing I have realized is that the more time I spend scrolling on Facebook or checking the news the more depressed I get. The more I listen to uplifting podcasts or make art in my room the more hopeful I feel.

Do you remember the movie The Secret? It was a video that came out in the mid 2000’s that introduced The Law Of Attraction to millions of people. It got popular because people thought it was their get rich ticket. The subtle message of The Secret was really no secret at all. It all boils down to this: what you focus on expands. For example, I know that if I start the day by reading the news I can wallow and complain about it all day, thus sending myself down a negative spiral and attracting unwanted experiences. If I start the day with a yoga video I am on track to eat healthier and feel more positive throughout the day.

The reason very few people struck it rich after watching The Secret is as simple as the Law of Attraction. It is easier to focus on the bad stuff. It is easier to sit back and take in what the world feeds you instead of making the conscious choice of what you want to consume. The negative stuff pretends to be urgent. The negative voices are louder.

I am sucker for negative news, dramatic situations and worst case scenarios as much as anyone else. I will go for the click-bait headline about politics or scary diseases every time I am not paying attention to what I am focusing on. But I know from experience that I can shift things in the right direction with each small action I take. Twenty minutes of yoga in the morning can make a difference for the entire day. When I consciously choose to seek out positive stories or videos, they will lift my spirits. When I avoid social media or opinion based news (both sides) I feel more hopeful. When I continue to focus on positive things it snowballs and it’s easier to find more and more things to be happy about. Its like a muscle you have to keep using.

If you keep up the practice pretty soon you will be able to sustain a more positive outlook no matter the situation. I think the idea is beautifully worded by the artist Henri Matisse - “There are always flowers for those who want to see them.”

I write this to remind myself that even in these isolated, winter lockdown days there are flowers blooming. Yes, even in winter there are flowers blooming if you choose to see them. Do you choose to see them? I am trying to!

Today, I am on day 15 of the 100 Day Project. I used the Matisse quote for day 12 and then took a few photos of winter flowers I have seen this week. Also included in this blog are days nine through 14 of the project.

If you made it through to the end of this blog, thank you for reading! I hope you notice a lot of flowers in your life this coming week.

XO Beth

Some Winter Flowers

Day 8 of 100

“The stories we tell about ourselves keep us stuck in old patterns.” - Jess lively

Hearing this quote from Jess Lively (one of my fave podcasters) was a big A-HA! moment for me. It is true that what we say about ourselves and the stories that we repeat over and over to other people are the things that end up turning into beliefs and patterns we live out daily.

There are many things I say to and about myself that are unflattering and self-deprecating. I also repeat old stories to be funny or to fit in with whoever I am talking to. There are plenty of stories that don’t feel like they “fit" me anymore but if needed I can still rehash them over and over.

There are also the things I say about myself like "Don’t ask me to figure that out, I am bad with math" or “Don’t tell me, I can’t remember anything”. Or "I am too old, too cheap, too whatever" - These insidious little statements may seem like nothing but repeated over and over without examination become part of your persona like it or not.

Recently, during a musical I worked on, one of the actors kept telling everyone how he broke everything he touched and he shouldn’t be trusted to carry anything. For the record, he did not break anything during our run but with those sort of statements he will be remembered as a person who breaks things. Even though he did a great job in the musical he lessened his own self-worth by repeatedly telling that story about himself.

For a few years now, I have tried to be more conscious about what I say about myself in front of other people. I try not to repeat stories to others that portray me in a negative fashion or doing something I’ve out grown. I don’t like defining my self by titles or descriptions and I try not to do that to others. I am conscious of self-criticism in front of my girls. I don’t bash my weight or my hair but I do realize that I talk a lot about looking old and not remembering way more than I should and I cringe every time I catch myself repeating some old story that does not ring true just to fit in with whoever I am talking to. I still have work to do.

One definition of the word pattern is a model or guide for making something. You use a pattern to make the same dress over and over again. You use a pattern stencil because you want the same shape repeated over and over again. The more patterns we act out in life the more we just repeat the same results over and over again. I, for one, am tired of a lot of the patterns I have been living out for the past 30 years. How can I grow or get new results when I am just repeating the same old patterns?

To change a pattern or a habit you have to be intentional and conscious about what you say and do –therein lies the difficulty. I will be the first to admit that I live most hours of my day unconscious and unintentionally reacting to whatever is happening at the moment.

I am not sure how I can quickly change that but I do know that since I've tried to be more conscious of what I say about myself and the stories I tell I have been writing some new patterns. Maybe awareness is the way to consciousness? I’m still trying to figure that one out! But I do know that we all need to keep creating new patterns because the old ones get outdated.

I wonder, what do you say about yourself? What stories do you continue to tell that should probably be retired? It's definitely something worth examining.

I am hoping this 100 day project will get me into some new patterns of making art and of sharing it. I have already found it to be difficult to fit in my day and I am only on day 8! Oh well, only 92 more to go…

Below are some of the quotes and illustrations from days four through 7.

If you are trying to take on something new this year I hope things are going well for you. As always, thank you for reading!

XO Beth

3/100

Day 2 of 100

Today’s words are again from A Course in Miracles, lesson 11.

“My Meaningless thoughts are showing me a meaningless world.”

Your thoughts determine the world you see. What kind of world do you live in? Look around you and take stock, that will tell you what you are really thinking and believing.

Hello Dear Friend!

I am participating in “The 100 Day Project” this year.
To the 14 - yes- 14 lovely people actually subscribed to this blog you will be getting an email from me for the next 100 days. In that time you may very well be sick of me but If you stick with me we’ll be together daily until May 10th. The way this year is starting off who knows what could be happening in the world by May 10!

I am participating in #the100dayproject as a way to hold myself accountable to making something everyday. My project is to put phrases or quotes I want to remember or think about further in my art journal. Some days I will write something to go along with the journal entry some days I will just send a picture. Today I am starting off with a wordy one!

Day 1/100
"My thoughts about _______ do not mean anything. "

This phrase is from lesson 10 in "A Course In Miracles", a study I am trying to work my way through.

This particular lesson really helped me. After I repeated this phrase filling in the blank with all the things I am currently worrying about I really felt a sense of peace about it all. I suggest you do it too, repeating the sentence filling in the blank with your current stressors.

The things that I worry about, the things that keep repeating in my mind and stress me out have specific meaning only to me. They have a totally different meaning to the people or things I worry about.
Often the meaning I give things and the meaning given by the other person are totally different. This leads to miscommunications and misunderstandings which actually lead to more stress and and worries.
When I take a step back and look at it from the outside with some perspective I see that really I am just playing my own movies in my head and assigning parts. Everyone else is playing their own movies too with different roles and interpretations of events.
Just think how much easier and less conflict we would have in the world if we could all look at things this way. If we could all step back from our worries and drama, knowing that the perspective, the meaning, the bad, the good are all emotions and definitions we put on situations. In reality, things just are as they are - not good or bad- they just are.

Thinking of my worries that way brings me peace.

Thanks for reading this post until the end! I will see you tomorrow. :-)
XO Beth

Thanks to current world events you, like me, might be stuck at home with more time on your hands than usual. Here is a little project that I have had on my to-do list for a while. I wrote up a quick little how-to because I thought you might enjoy doing it as well.

1. Gather your match boxes and craft supplies. A little glitter and glue can turn something ordinary into something exceptional.

2. Empty the match box. Use the inner “box” part for the base and the outside “sleeve” to make the ornamental top and sides.

Cut the sleeve into two pieces. One piece is a middle rectangle the other piece will be the sides plus the other rectangle. The single rectangle piece will become your top. Cut the other rectangle piece, with the sides attached, down the middle to make the flaps for the side of your shrine.

3. Glue the side flaps to each side of your box. Shape the rectangle piece into something interesting and glue that to the top of your box.

3. After your shrine has taken shape and the glue dries add some papier-mâché to strengthen your shrine. I tore up tiny strips of newspaper and dipped them into watered down glue. Then I layered them all over the entire box. You can use a paint brush to layer the papier-mâché if you don’t like getting sticky. The papier-mâché will take a few hours to dry. This step will make the shrine strong and look like it is one form without seams.

4. After the papier-mâché has dried you will have a perfect little box you can decorate with paint, sequins, seashells, old pictures, computer print-outs - really anything that will fit in it. It would make a sweet little gift, a personal totem, a fridge magnet or even a grouping on your wall if you make a few of them.
I used small matchboxes for this project but big ones would be even cooler!

Have fun and stay healthy my friends!

Beth

In the game, when a card is drawn the image is called out by using a riddle instead of the name on the card. I’ve included the Spanish riddle with the paintings. These paintings are an update or a re-imagining of the original cards. I plan to post about them here. The first painting is a play on the “La Dama” card.

“Puliendo el paso, por toda la calle real.” (Polishing as she steps, all along the royal streets.)

Arguably, the Virgin of Guadalupe could be the national symbol of Mexico. 

In 1531 the Virgin Mary appeared to Juan Diego outside of Mexico City and asked for him to build a church. The story goes that the bishop demanded a sign before he would approve construction of a church. Mary appeared a second time to Juan Diego and ordered him to collect roses. In a second audience with the bishop, Juan Diego opened his cloak, letting dozens of roses fall to the floor and revealing the image of Mary imprinted on the inside of the cloak. That image is now venerated in the Basilica of Guadalupe.

Below are a few details from the painting.  

Thank you for reading! 

Beth

So friend, you want to go down the rabbit hole of art journaling?

Like any other art related endeavor don’t be afraid to get caught up in it! The good news is, if you are a recovering scrap-booker, rubber stamp collector or other craft related junkie you can re-use all your supplies in your new art journal. - Just think - you don’t have to beat yourself up anymore for starting to scrapbook that vacation 10 years ago and loosing steam, you were planning to repurpose your supplies all along. It’s a good thing you bought those tubs of decorative papers and stickers… (oh wait, maybe I am just talking to myself here.)

Art journaling is a fun low-stakes way to allow your creativity to flow. Your art journal is your personal way of processing visually - whatever you want to. Here are some basics to get you started.

Choosing Your Journal

You will need a sketch book or “journal,” preferably without lines. Do yourself a favor and get the best quality paper you can afford. Paper is measured by weight, “lbs” pounds in the US and “gsm” grams per square meter overseas. The higher the weight the more paint, water, glue, etc. your paper will be able to withstand . Traditionally sketch books are made for sketching (duh!) so it can be hard to find one with a heavier weight. Several companies make a sketchbook geared to mixed media or mixed supplies 90lbs or 190gsm should do. If you want to go high end, you can use a journal with watercolor paper that weighs 140lbs or 300gsm.

Supplies

Stock up on Sharpie pens, magic markers, pencils, crayons, watercolor paints, etc. to add color and decorative elements to your page.

Collect a variety of images. I have several envelopes full of images that I have snipped out of magazines, clipped from newspapers, found on the ground or collected from other random places.
If a graphic or sentence catches your eye, grab it. You never know when you will be able to use it on one of your pages. If you really get into this journaling habit I recommend an accordion folder to organize your pictures by colors or words.

You can find all sorts of printed patterns and pictures in places you never noticed before. The inside of envelopes you get from the bank tend to have pretty patterns. Fortunes (from a Chinese restaurant) make a great starting quote for a journal page.

WARNING: If you print out an image on an ink jet printer, it will run if it gets wet from paint or glue.

Glue

The glue you use depends on what you plan to do on your journal page. For most pages a good quality glue stick will do the job. If you are using a thick almost cardboard like paper (think cereal box) you may need to use a liquid craft glue (Elmer’s school glue) and let it sit for 30 minutes. If you plan to layer over an image with paint or another medium then you will want to use something called “matte medium” if that is the case - Congrats! you are taking your art journal practice to the next level. Matte medium is a mostly transparent paste you can brush on the back and front of the image you are glueing. If you use matte medium the image will be bonded to the paper in a way that makes it pliable and easy to paint over.

An art journal is your personal place for expression and collection. You can use it to work through ideas, collect quotes or make quick sketches of your surroundings. I like to carry around a small bag with all my art journal supplies to pass time on airplanes or when I am in a waiting room (It’s a better than mindlessly scrolling on your phone.) It is very satisfying to look though all the pages you have done previously.  It is like you have made a special book just for yourself - a small time capsule of sorts.

If you want art journal inspiration just search these hashtags on Facebook or Instagram. You can also use these hashtags if you post your journal pages on social media.

#artjournal #artjournalpage #getmessyartjournal #visualjournal #scribblesthatmatter #journalart
#artjournaling #sketchbookart #creativejournal #dailyart #artjournaljunkie

I hope this post inspires you to get started on your own art journal. There is nothing as soothing as following through on your desire to be creative in any endeavor!

Thanks for reading! If you liked this post please leave a comment or press the “like” button.

Happy Journaling!

Beth

This month I am following along with Oprah’s podcast version of Super Soul Sunday. She and Eckhart Tolle are discussing his book “A New Earth” chapter by chapter. I have had so many wonderful moments of clarity rereading this book. Today I really understood surrender and peace.

Many years ago when I had younger children and did a lot of volunteering at their school and at church I was often tired, busy and dissatisfied. One afternoon while driving home from a painting class I was taking, I clearly heard the word “surrender.” It was not Morgan Freeman but it was commanding enough that I immediately began sobbing as I was driving. I knew that the word meant for me to surrender all the busyness, fear, doubt - surrender it all and paint.

At that time in my life I was pretty conflicted. I was in deep with all my volunteer commitments. My children needed my hands on attention and I was not yet ready to surrender and paint. That message, along with many others through the years, has haunted me. Even as I tried to push those feelings and urges down, always in the back of my head there is some part of me that knows I will never be happy until I surrender.

Since my double-hip replacement in January, I have been forced to slow down and surrender to my recovery. The hip replacement has given me the luxury of slowing down and taking more personal time for things other than errands. This morning was day two of breaking out the oil paints (after nine months of part-time art journaling) and getting back into a routine.

I did not know what I was going to paint or even if I had a spare canvas. I just knew I needed to paint. Luckily, I found an old half painted canvas, a reference photo and I went to town. It didn’t take long but when I was finished I sat back and felt at peace.

This reminded me of what I have been reading in “A New Earth.” In chapter two Eckhart Tolle references resistance as an inner contraction, a state of being closed up. When you are in that state nothing good can come to you. When you open up and surrender a new dimension of consciousness opens up. Instead of closing yourself off and fighting against life you will be in alignment with that creative intelligence that animates the universe. He says “you will rest in the peace and stillness that comes with surrender, you rest in God.”

This also brings to mind Steven Pressfield’s book “The War of Art.” He describes overcoming resistance and surrendering to your inner urge to create like slaying a dragon –everyday. After you slay the dragon there is peace in the kingdom but each day brings a new dragon.

Today after I finished my little rooster painting I had that wonderful feeling of peace. Jesus described it as the peace that passes all understanding. I know it won’t last but each day that I choose to surrender to my art I know that I will be rewarded with peace.

Peace is a powerful reason to do something. More powerful and meaningful than Instagram likes, followers, or a vague dream of making money. Those are the outward, ego demands we put on the ephemeral process of making art.

Tomorrow is another opportunity to practice surrendering again. I will try it, how about you? What brings you peace? Do you have something in your life that calls you to surrender to it? It doesn’t have to be painting or anything related to art. The Creative Intelligence that animates this world operates in endless ways.

Beth

Here I sit in limbo. I'm back in my studio surrounded by stacks of finished paintings and half finished pieces that are also in limbo, forgotten still life set-ups I could never make interesting and a pile of junk that has slowly accumulated all summer because there was no place else for it to go. 

This happens every year. At some point my steady creative output stops. Usually it coincides with summer and the kids getting out of school. That long relished break from schedules and committments turns into something else. I always have good intentions, I am going to keep a sketchbook or something like that but I usually end up literally closing the door (the studio door) on that part of my life.  

Then every year about the end of August I feel crazy and totally off center. It is always comes out of the blue and is always a mystery to me. I can't wait for school to start again so I can have time alone to think. The excitement of May and June quickly turns into the despair and depression of late August.  

It happens every year and yet I somehow forget. Then it dawns on me, just like its the first time - "Oh! Its the work! Life is not dramatic and melancholy. It's just time to get back to work - back to creating." Then relief sets in, creative plans are made, hope is restored! I'll ease back into my art the same way I'll ease back into exercise and healthy eating! (LOL)

Life has seasons. Nature knows this and takes its break in winter. Somehow, I always forget this important cycle and I am hard on myself. Not only plants but people and ideas need time to take root too.

Just like the rose awakens in March and pushes out its green tendrils, I am waking up after summer. I'm getting ready to put out some tendrils of my own and dreaming of blossoms to come. Now, instead of depression I am excited for this new season!

What do you look forward to in fall? Football? Cooler weather? Do you have new things starting that have been put off all summer too? Let me know by responding to this blog.

Thanks for reading!
Talk to you later,
Beth

I am a chronic future-thinker. Perhaps you are too? Future-thinking means always looking to get or do things in that elusive future date.

A general example is "When I make more money I will take that class or that trip I have always wanted to." Some things I always say to myself are "When I am finally painting and making money from my art work I will buy those bigger canvases I need for that series." or "When I have painted longer and sold more THEN I will explore how to lead a workshop." or my favorite go to "When I am selling paintings and making money I will finally stop feeling guilty for not having a real job."

The fault of the future-thinking premise is that of course there will never be a future in that sense. There is only the present moment. The present moment is where we actually operate from and make decisions that affect our "future." Future-thinking is actually thinking motivated by scarcity and feeling that you don't deserve something because you are telling yourself that whatever you want you don't have but hope to in the future. Again, it's never the future, its always the present moment. So you never actually get what your future-thinking self wants. Confusing, huh?

To make a mental shift we have to realize that we already are whatever it is that we want. We have to make decisions from that place instead of the future. 

Example: "I am going to configure my budget (or get on a budget) so I can take that class or trip I want to.",   "I am going to buy bigger canvases for the painting series I am doing because it will help my goals as an artist." or "I am going to explore leading an art workshop because I am a painter." or "Painting is my real job and the more I do it the more successful I become."

Rewording the future-thinking makes me feel better immediately! Try it yourself by filling in your own blanks:
"I am going to ________ because I am _______" or
"I am going to _________ because it makes me feel __________."
"I am exploring _____________ now because it will be fun."

Personally, I am working on getting out of the habit of future thinking. We can't put off our happiness and yearnings to retirement or when the kids get older or when you lose 20 pounds. We are worthy of what we want now simply because we choose it. What are you choosing today?

Do you fall prone to future-thinking too?
Leave me a comment and let's talk.

Until next time,
Beth

Its been a month since my last blog post. Thank you dear reader for even remembering me. In a world that delivers the same news and advertisements to your inbox three times a day, I am grateful if this infrequent blog post makes it through the noise! I want to tell you what I have been thinking about and doing this past month.

If you read my last blog, I know millions of you did, I was writing about making permanent changes this year instead of New Year's resolutions. I think often of the things I want to accomplish in this life and wonder why those things seem to come so slowly. You could say I need more patience or you could say I need to go about it differently. Different is the keyword here and that is what I was trying to hit upon with the poem about taking a different street (read post here). 

So, what does different mean? Instead of thinking in terms of things to accomplish this year I am trying to do things that bring me joy. It seems a simple thing but for me it is really hard. Usually, I orient my day toward "What am I supposed to be doing to accomplish x, y, or z?" I guess it is my upbringing or maybe a factory setting, but for some reason I am usually nose to the grindstone, working hard and seriously at whatever I am doing. Going for the joy is radical thinking and a total identity shift.

This year instead of asking what should I be doing to advance my art career or earn money, etc. I am asking what will bring me joy today? What am I thankful for? What will put me in alignment with God? I am trying to change my "future-thinking" habit (more on that another day) to present "I am" thinking. 

So what does that look like? Right now, it is something totally new.

Since being in Germany we have had many new opportunities other than travel. My kids have been active this year in the Kaiserslautern military community theater and that has inspired me. Starting last fall I have been helping make props and paint sets for their show. It has been really fun! I have tried to be very careful and only do what is fun and not over volunteer.

This past month, I actually auditioned for the upcoming play "Inherit the Wind." I got a part! I was nervous as hell but I did it. I overcame my fear. We have had a few practices and it has been a blast. When you do something you want to do even though you are scared to death it is such a great feeling. No matter what happens, you know you have grown larger and that can't be taken away from you, even if the outcome is not what you expected. I have also put in a lot of hours painting faux cathedral walls, wallpapering and painting a jukebox. All these things have gotten me nowhere in my art career or whatever else I have been "seriously" pursuing – but it has been a lot of fun! Painting the props and sets is very satisfying. There is a great feeling of accomplishment to be able to look at something you painted on stage and say "Wow, I did that!"

So far this year that seems to be my different street. I am trying to ask myself often, throughout every day if what I am doing is bringing me joy. I still have to unload the dishwasher, clean the kitty litter, ferry the kids back and forth, etc.  and do things that aren't considered joyful but I am happier doing those things when I have been having more fun in the day. And I am more playful with my kids!

I have attached some photos of recent theater stuff.

Question for you: What brings you joy? There are 9 billion people on this planet there must be 9 billion different ways to have fun. What makes you smile? I want to know so please leave a comment below.

Until next time, I am off to do some laundry and make a papier maché hookah for the "Alice In Wonderland" production. Sounds like fun to me!

Beth :-)

It's January 4th and I am sitting here doing a mental round-up of the past year and contemplating my goals for the future.  

I have been putting off this self-reflection because the (depressing) truth is that there might have been small changes this year and years past but really, I am still in the same place in my art life that I have been for years. Essentially, I have a pattern of one step forward and two to three steps back. I have good intentions but how is it - without making too many excuses- that I find myself in almost the same place I've always been at?

What makes me uncomfortable to admit is that though my intentions are good or the vague goals I set are good, I am actually just living out a series of habituated, auto-pilot behaviors. 

This year I did paint a lot more, I did sell more paintings (18) and I posted more. But, I did not sustain it and I allowed my usual insecurities about money and worthiness to get in the way of painting, selling, posting and enjoying it even more. 

I used to say frequently to myself "I don't want to be 60 years old and still complaining that I don't have time to do "my" art." It occurred to me in this time of contemplation that 60 years old is only 14 years away!! (Gulp) What am I waiting on to really get this off the ground and accomplish the things I want to? I am not content to keep going in the same way that I have been, because inside I am unsettled and know I could be doing more. I don't want to regret all the ideas and pictures in my head that I am not allowing to come to life because of fear or complacency. 

I think what is really at the heart of it all is that I don't truly, down deep inside, believe it is available to me. I don't believe that having this life of my dreams (successful, money making artist and teacher) is an option. I could try to figure out why I feel that way and go over all the possible reasons but that does not change anything and only makes me think that negative thought even more. Instead of reinforcing that belief I need to change it. If a belief is just a thought you think over and over again, I need to reprogram myself with some new beliefs.

This poem by Portia Nelson sums things up beautifully:

THERE’S A HOLE IN MY SIDEWALK
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost …. I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

I think I am teetering between chapters four and five. I am at the corner, I see the hole. I am standing here biting my nails, looking at the hole and also trying to see down the other street. The other street's view is obstructed so I don't exactly know what is down there. That's what makes taking it so scary and why I am hesitating about which way to go.

Can I live consciously in a way that will take me out of auto-pilot and down a brand new street?
Do I have the courage to try and live the joyful life I want?

All it requires is one step, but in which direction?

What are you contemplating for the new year? Leave me a comment and we'll talk!
Wishing you a lovely 2018,
Beth

Its been about three weeks since I started this little gratitude challenge and I wanted to check-in with myself and see if it has changed anything.  The honest answer is yes and no.

Sitting down and writing in my "gratitude" journal has been a good practice overall. Sometimes, my list comes much easier than others. Sometimes at the end of it I feel so happy and prosperous, other times I feel like I just phoned it in and checked the box. I had hoped this would make me feel like it is all unicorns and rainbows by the end of the month - maybe I'll still get there. 

Even though this practice has not done for me what I thought it would already, the cumulative affect is good. I find myself throughout the day noticing things or thinking "I am so glad that..." or "I am so thankful that…" I realize in those moments that two things have happened, I am in a state of present moment awareness and I am appreciating it.

Perhaps, instead of rainbows and unicorns that is really the place we are trying to get to. Being more present in life and appreciating what is already there for us. Of course, that is easy to do when you’re looking at a beautiful sunset or eating a delicious meal. "Level Two Gratitude" must be living more in the present moment and appreciating it, even if the sky is cloudy and the food sucks. That sounds hard and I am no where close to that.

Doing this gratitude practice has made me more aware of the language I use.  It has made me realize when I am negative about things. There is still room for improvement but they say the first step to change is simply noticing. So, hopefully, I am on my way to being a more positive person.

I have noticed a few of you on Faceboook doing this challenge. How has it been for you? I've loved seeing what you are thankful for. Has it changed or shifted anything for you? Please leave a comment and let me know. 

This week we have company visiting us for Thanksgiving. I am so excited to have our friends and have been thinking of gratitude related activities. Here are two, you may want to try them as well.

 • Gratitude grab:  
Warn your guests or family members beforehand if possible so they can have time to think. Ask them to come up with five things they’re grateful for. Provide strips of paper for people to write their gratitudes on. Put them in a bowl in the middle of the table. Take turns letting everyone draw and read a paper from the bowl. (This will work better with a smaller group.) Keep reading until each person's list has been read and everyone's had a chance to read. When you’re finished raise a toast to your shared abundance. 

 • Conversation starter:
Can you think of a person, place or thing that you weren’t so happy about at first but later it turned into something you are really grateful for?  It is good to recognize that sometimes our biggest blessings don't look that way at first.

Studio Update:

I continue to paint daily and work on different things. At the beginning of November, I put small Day of the Dead prints on Instagram and Facebook and told people to message me if they wanted one. I got a little over 25 requests. Many were from people I didn’t know. It was a lot of fun to make them and write on the back of each one. As people received their prints many of them emailed me a photo of where they hung it. The folks who received them seemed so happy about it that I felt blessed too. The whole thing inspired me to try and print my own Christmas cards. It could be a fun project for the whole family... I’ll see if I can get them made in time - if not you may be getting it next Christmas.

Sending you lots of love, 

Beth 

Day of the Dead print

Layest chicken painting, modeled after Ingre’s portrait of Mademoiselle Jeanne Gonin.

Mademoiselle Jeanne Gonin, by Jean August’s Dominique Ingres

Halloween is over and that means Thanksgiving is Close. It begs the question:

Are you feeling thankful?

My usual November MO is busy-busy-busy then at Thanksgiving we all sit down at the table and list a few things we are thankful for. This puts family and guests on the spot and gives them about two seconds to come up with something meaningful. Next, we are on to December and the onslaught of holiday marketing that shows us we are lacking and need to buy, buy, buy. That's why the holidays can often leave us feeling empty and stressed instead of full and blessed. This November I have been thinking of things I can do differently and I thought you might want to try a few new things with me.

I invite you to join with me in the November 2017 Gratitude Project!

This November I invite you to focus more love on your life and focus less worry on the things you don't want to think about - like the state of politics, the state of the world or the state of your closet. It is true that what we focus on expands. When we focus on the things we are thankful for those things expand in our lives. If we could do this the entire month of November we would be creating a habit that opens us up to a life time of goodness!

By participating in the Gratitude Project we'll go deeper than just appreciating family and friends. We'll shine a spotlight on all the little things that bring us joy.  That light will grow and grow into more things that we realize we are thankful for. When we're realizing all that untapped, potential for gratitude - what a great way to go from Thanksgiving to the holiday season - than full of real and lasting JOY! That's an easy life changing shift right to prosperity folks! 

So join me in this fun challenge!

You have to practice something for it to become habit. These practices will help us strengthen our gratitude muscle.

1. Post a picture everyday (or as many days as possible) on Instagram or FaceBook of something you are thankful for. It could be something monumental like the kidney your sister gave you or something small like your favorite, comforting coffee mug. Give us a short description of why you're thankful for it and hashtag it: #nov2017gratitudeproject. Yes, that's a cumbersome tag but it will collect all our posts in one place. I guarantee you will enjoy posting your "gratitudes" each time and you will really enjoy reading other people's too. Example below.

2. Keep a gratitude journal. (Oprah probably started this idea and look what it did for her) Buy a cheap notebook and use it only to write down things you are grateful for. You can list them in bullet points or write them in descriptive paragraphs. Do this first thing in the morning to get your day started off right, do it on your lunch break, in the carpool line, before bed -whenever you can make the time. Do not cheat yourself out of this! This is where the concentrated appreciation happens. This is where your life begins to shift!

3. Challenge yourself to go deeper. At least once a week during November I will be sending out a gratitude prompt. These will be exercises designed to pump that gratitude muscle and inspire you. Sign up for my blog (signup window on this page) and you will be on the list to receive these prompts.

If you accept the challenge and participate in the November 2017 Gratitude Project we'll meet back at the end of the month and see how things went for everyone.
Feel free to forward this to anyone you think might be interested in it. The more the merrier! Any questions or comments? Email me or leave them below.

So, let's go beyond scratching the surface this year! Let's feel gratitude down deep in our bones. Please join me on this potentially life changing journey.

NOW -Who's with me?

Beth

Dear Kids,

Being a parent is hard. I look at other people and see how they raise their kids and realize I am quick to criticize them in my head. It is easy to throw stones from my glass house over here.

I also plainly see the mistakes I make. I should probably start keeping a journal of them when they happen because it will make it easier for you when you're older and in therapy. You can just flip through it and say "Oh, here it is, October 2017, my Mom lost her temper and said..."

Sometimes I feel like I am too hard on you. You are just being you - navigating through your own challenges the best you can. I find myself putting pressure on you to know how to do it already. I put pressure on you to know how to act, what to say, how to behave perfectly in every situation like you have had 40 years experience doing it already. I forget that I have had over 40 years experience and still don't know how to act or what to say most of the time. Why do I expect more of you?

I try to tell myself to relax, go easier, be patient but I usually lose it somewhere around homework or reminding you to do the same thing over and over again. 

Do you hear the disappointment and contempt in my voice? I do... that's what I am afraid of. I am afraid you hear it, take it to heart and replay it in your head until my voice becomes the soundtrack of you not feeling good enough about yourself.

The truth is - you are good enough. The truth is that I am really happy and delighted and so proud of you. The truth is you are beautiful.

When I fall short and over react and yell at you its often because I am tired or internalizing whatever you have done to make it a reflection on me. The truth is you are a really good kid. When you are upset or insolent it has been building up. I the adult could have steered it somewhere else, or taken your attention from your phone, or given us both a time-out sooner.

I do understand school is hard. It is a lot more demanding than when I was your age. Social drama is hard! You have a lot more distractions to juggle and pick your way through than I did. Why should you always know how to act?

The truth is I only have you around for a few more years and then who knows where you'll go. I promise I will do a much better job of remembering this before I get so frustrated and hit the roof over little things.

How do I want you to remember me as a parent? Do I want you to remember me as the tired woman who never smiled and complained you weren't doing good enough? Or do I want  you to remember me as the mother who motivated you and showered you with affection? I want you to remember me as the mother who trusted you and let you work toward your own dreams and goals not mine. I want you to remember me as the person who was always in your corner and had your back. The person who's eyes lit up when they saw you.

To do that I also need to be patient with me. I need to relax and mother myself. I can't work out my imperfections and shortcomings by trying to correct them in you. Your school years are not a way for me to do over mine, they are your lessons to learn for yourself. 

Mostly, I need to enjoy you more! As you switch gears and grow into an adult I have to switch gears too. I need to focus more on helping you nurture your inner wisdom as you make your own choices. I must focus on enjoying this journey of raising you before you leave to be the captain of your own journey.

I promise I will work on this. Why? Because, I love you more than you'll ever know.
Mom

My latest painting is about Wisdom, yes Wisdom with a capital W. Lately in the world I feel we are sorrily lacking it. I was recently inspired by Oprah's Super Soul podcast interview of Joan Chittister. Quoting Wikipedia "Joan Chittister is a Benedictine nun and an author and international speaker on subjects of spirituality, peace, religious life, and justice for all people, especially women and the poor." I was struck by so many things she said that I listened to it twice, back to back.  I particularly resonated with something she said regarding wisdom.

Paraphrasing Chittister: Because our society does not produce anything we have kept our young people out of the workforce by extending their education. We use retirement to get the older people out. Just when people are at their smartest, we quit asking them questions and essentially throw them away. We train our young to get ahead our middle aged to be consumers and our elderly to be silent. And, we wonder why our culture is obsessed with looks, tech gadgets and capitalistic growth. 

What we are missing and desperately need is the Wisdom! We've abandoned prosperity for capitalism and growth. It is not good for our souls or the planet. We are lost. We need the Wisdom teachers to show us how to find our way back! 

So I am putting out the call to you - our teachers, those that have been around the block. We don't need Facebook rants or more editorializing news reports - we need deep thinkers. Our media (social and otherwise) moves so fast that many thoughts and ideas don't scratch the surface. That is why Wisdom is more important now than ever. 

I am calling on those who have, through life experience, gained the wisdom to give us real guidance and solutions, not just opinions. Be silent no more. I, for one, am ready to listen. Wisdom Warriors and contemplatives, your thoughts will bring about our highest change. Perhaps one day we'll all find out -maybe just maybe- you are the pyshic glue holding this whole thing together. 

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Do you think society has marginalized the older generations in the name of growth and consumerism? Or do you think our salvation lies in the hope and energy of the young? Maybe it's a mix? Continue the conversation by leaving a comment and letting me know what you think. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this post! If you have more time I recommend listening to the referenced Podcast, Joan Chittister is thought provoking, hopeful and Wise.

Today, I am wishing for you the luxury of time needed and the space and peace to be thoughtful! 
Until next time, Beth :-)

• LInk to Oprah's Super Soul Sunday Podcast interviewing Joan Chittister, O.S.B 
You can also search Oprah's Super Soul Sunday If you have iTunes on your phone or iPad. 
• Link to Joan Chittister's webpage

I love looking at old magazines. Luckily for me there is a stash at my great-aunt's house. I especially love looking at magazines from the 70s. Yeah, the fashions were pretty ugly. Yeah, people had crazy hairdos. Yeah, the houses looked so dark with their brown paneling and decor that the people must have constantly walked around with flashlights. But, I still love looking at them!

If you can get a feel of an era based on articles and advertisements, the 70s must have been super chill. Half the advertisements are for liquor and the other half are for cigarettes. Judging from Reader's Digest and Woman's Day, people in the 70s spent a lot of time having cocktails, riding bikes and smoking. Those must have been fun times, back when you could drink and smoke and not worry about cancer or the effects of your second hand smoke on your children or, for that matter, people glaring at you for it.

Those times were also idyllic because people still had an attention span that was not ruined by their smart phones. Don't believe that people were smarter? Pick up any old magazine and you will find that it is mostly articles. Sure there are a few big photos but everything, even advertisements, have articles. Why should you buy that bottle of "Old Forrester" for your boss for christmas? Here are three columns worth of reasons for you. Why should you switch to "Southern Comfort" in all your cocktails and serve them according to your guest's zodiac sign? Here's a whole booklet inserted into this magazine for you to read. Why is this canned ham so healthy? Here is an entire dissertation on canned ham. Read it! You have to do something while you sit there and smoke. Now days you are lucky to get two sentences to explain a photo in a magazine. It's true, have you picked up People magazine lately?

I was a kid in the 70s so I don't really remember those years clearly. Certainly my memories are sifted, swirly daydreams of playing and feeling safe in my environment. I know not everyone had happy childhoods but for me the 70s were all about riding free on my bike and building forts in the woods. News of people dying in Vietnam or lying presidents or hostages did not make it through my bubble. When I look at an old Southern Living or Woman's day from the 70s I don't see it there either, I guess that's why I find them so comforting.  

So, if you ever find yourself down or overwhelmed with today's news. Get your hands on a few old magazines. Anything older than 1985 will probably do. You can daydream about how peaceful life would be if you were with those adults in the Tia Maria ad enjoying cocktails on a lamplit veranda overlooking a Jamaican resort beach. Exhale, Ahhhhh!

If you enjoyed this post please like it or leave me a message. Do you have a favorite nostalgic era? Tell me about it.

Until next time, enjoy a few ads from 1974 :-)
Beth

If you like looking at old magazines and poking fun at things we used to think were great, you will love lileks.com. 

Grief is a funny thing, it comes and goes in waves. Sometimes the waves are bigger than others and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

Part One :

It has been a year since my good friend Earnie Dalton passed away. We were an unusual pair. He was a sixty something, formerly homeless and recovering drug-addicted black man and I am a forty-something, privileged white woman who has not seen the dark side of the streets. To say we came from two different worlds would be a gross understatement. Sometimes, there are people you are destined to connect with no matter where you are from or what you have in common.

We met at church. I was the church secretary and he was a parishioner. He used to give me his offering to put in the plate and I leaned heavily on him for plumbing advice. If you are open - small things can turn into big things. Those small interactions turned into long discussions over breakfast at Denny's, visits to his mother's grave and meals at my home.

It was August 2016 when he passed. We were moving to Germany that same week. I was so busy with the move that I was able to push all my feelings down deep inside. I missed the funeral and meeting his family and felt very guilty.

Periodically, I am overcome by waves of grief. They come out of nowhere and I feel that sense of loss again. I find myself trying to call on him as a "spirit guide". I am sorry I took any of our daily text conversations for granted. I miss my friend.

It occurred to me recently why he was so special. I know, no matter what, Earnie Dalton totally accepted me for who I was. He did not judge me. I always felt like he just offered me his unconditional love and support. What a gift! What a gift and a difference that makes to another person. True unconditional love is rare. To know that no matter what- you are accepted in another persons eyes is healing. It helps you love and accept yourself. Love for and between people you are trying to please or take pleasure in is not the same, those are conditions. Unconditional love is precious. Earnie and I had a lot of long conversations about the past, relationships, important things and ordinary things. He confided things to me and I hope that means he felt I offered him unconditional love and support as well. If not, Earnie, I am so sorry I fell short. I love you and I miss you and I am still calling on you up there!

Part Two:

I asked before bed one night for Earnie to come to me in my dreams and show me he was here in spirit. (I believe in things like that) I asked specifically for him to tell me what "our" sign would be so that if I saw the aforementioned sign then I knew it would be from him. When I woke up I was disappointed, I did not remember dreaming about Earnie (but that does not mean it did not happen.)

Later in the day I was walking my dog and spotted some large hawk feathers in someone's car.  I remembered that I had heard feathers could be symbols from spirit. So I said to myself and whoever was listening "Okay spirits, whoever is there and listening to me, send me a feather on this walk, I need a sign!"

So, for about an hour, I walked my dog- no feather. To be fair, during most of my walk I was distracted. I was taking photos for Instagram, I was looking at the dog, etc. I got about a block from home (I had gotten mindful in my walk again) and was starting to despair that I had not found a feather. I looked down and there on the sidewalk was a tiny, little black feather from a blackbird. My heart stopped, tears welled in my eyes and I knew it was Earnie. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and had the feeling that he was standing behind me. It made sense that it would be a blackbird's feather. Earnie and I talked a lot about race.

Later in the day, I was standing painting at my easel. My attention was drawn to the window. I looked out and saw a black bird fly right to the window. It tapped the glass and then flew to sit on a fence right outside the window. Then this bird sat there and pointedly glared at me. And I mean GLARED at me, then after a few moments it flew away. A bird had never done that before or since. I knew for sure it was Earnie. I think he came by just to prove to me that he really was here.

I believe he is here and where ever else he is needed, the same with the other people we love that have passed on. Somehow, inexplicably, they can come and go when we need them or maybe when they want to check up on us.

Since then I have found a lot of bird feathers. I always pick them up, say a little prayer and feel gratitude for all those Saints who are still in my life. 

I wish today for you to have a peaceful heart, to feel the love of those here and gone and to find a lot of bird feathers! 

Until next time,
Beth :-)

If you enjoyed this post please like it or leave me a comment below.

I don't know about you but I always feel like the beginning of the school year is my chance to revisit and re-energize all those New Year's resolutions I made last January and have slowly let go of. I did not totally drop the ball but it is hard to focus on your to-do list when you have kids on summer vacation, wonderful family visitors and all the good beer and weather of a German summer.

Summer play time also brings good ideas. I visited a lot of beautiful places this summer, some famous and some not. All those images in my brain have to go somewhere - hopefully they will show up on a canvas this winter. 

My obsession with painting chickens is slowing down as I prepare for the next series I have in mind. It is going to be a lot more complicated than what I currently paint so I am summoning the courage to actually do it and not keep putting it off (it combines portraits and birds).

This year I also need to focus on actually selling artwork!
I imagine a lot of artists have this goal. I plan to research online marketing, ramp up social media and basically market myself which is really scary to an introvert like me. This month I am showing all my chicken paintings in the local library on Vogelweh Base here in Germany - which is a start in the right direction.

Next up - paint, paint, paint!

As I ease back into regular blog posts, here are a few art related posts from the summer.

Please leave a comment and let me know: How was your summer? What are you hoping to get done this fall?

Until next time,
Beth :-)

The beginning of yet another chicken... 

This little watercolor sketch was from the pool. Can you see the man that was in front of me? 

Giant tile mosaic in the Paris metro. 

I had an art "A-Ha!" Moment today.

Does this ever happen to you?

I tried several times, unsuccessfully to paint a quick little oil sketch of a plum. It is amazing to me how something can be so beautiful and simple looking until I try to paint it. No matter how many times I paint and re painted it, it never took shape. Other times paintings seem to just flow right from the beginning and before I know it, I have a picture with hardly any effort at all.

Today it occurred to me that it all comes down to alignment. If I am really honest with myself I can feel when it is just not there  - sometimes I know I am tying to force it when I should just try something else (maybe even a nap).

Today I knew I should have played around with mixed media or even toned canvases but I forced it and wasted time and materials.

The question is how to get into the right alignment before I start painting? I know when I am able to paint daily that helps me be more receptive. I also think I have to do better job of listening to myself - not my ego or what I think others are saying - what do I want to do?

So, my a-ha take away: Listen first to what my soul (my inner voice) is telling me. Try to get in tune with that - forcing things never works.

So lately I have been totally addicted to Instagram. There are so many artists and so much art, its obvious I was going to get sucked in. Yes, I know I am a little late to the party, IG is already saturated with art. There are millions of prolific artists all over the world posting daily. Most of the time it is really interesting to to see what people are working on.

For artists this is all brand new. It used to be that you had to search out other artists in guilds, classes or clubs. You had to buy expensive art magazines to see what the most elite group of artists were doing. If you were a new artist still honing your talent, forget it, you were stuck alone in your basement or at your kitchen table until you felt good enough about your work to put yourself out there.

Don't get me wrong, IG will never replace the authentic camaraderie and support you get from actual physical interaction with other artists. But it does democratize the system a bit, you no longer have to be represented by a gallery to show the world your art.

Here's the catch - as I scroll and scroll through my feed and see so much art - the good, the bad and the ugly included - it's hard not to get lost in all the noise. There are so many pictures posted every second that I can easily get down on myself. It seems so futile to post one of my own pictures, who is going to see it anyway?

There are so many amazing artists posting that I find myself playing the comparison game. I am really not even sure what I am comparing myself to. Other artists seem to be selling so many paintings, entering so many juried shows and relaxing with coffee in their amazing studios. My brain tells me this is their curated "highlight" reel but I still find myself comparing. 

In some situations you have to compare to know what you are getting but with social media comparison leads to jealousy and unhappiness. Comparison is all about ego and competition. What am I jealous of? Of other people's talent? Of their success? of their good? Maybe all of it. Wow, sounds shallow of me but aren't we all guilty of this on some level, social media or not?

Jealousy will always block our own prosperity, spiritual as well as financial.

How do you get out of that insidious comparison rabbit hole and recognize your own prosperity? By reminding yourself that its not a competition. Fear is the root of comparison. We are avoiding ourselves and focused on the other because we are afraid that even if we give it our all, it won't be enough.

How do we heal that fear? Hit it with love. Love your life. Love yourself, you are enough. Be grateful for your own good. When you are full of gratitude for what you have and do it is hard to be jealous and compare yourself to others.

When you are full of gratitude then you can look at Instagram and other social media for fun, to be inspired, to get new ideas and feel in community with others. "I am grateful and happy with my life!" that is what I have to remind myself when I am tempted to compare.

In the spirit of gratitude and inspiration here are my top ten favorite artists on Instagram. Click on the links to see their feed.

Ashley Longshore: This artist is ireverant and funny. She promotes self empowerment in a way that's fun. I love her art too.

Alex Callaway: This artists' still lifes are unbelieveably beautiful!

Lisaeks: Lisa Ekstrom's abstracts are simply wonderful.

Churchgoinmule: Artist Marshall Blevins' drawings and mixed media art (often including a mule) are lively and fun with a heavy emphasis on NOLA . 

Vanessa Cooper: I wish I could paint like this artist. I love how she incorporates birds, flowers and china in her paintings.

Gingerwoodturner: Franz Keilhofer makes beautiful wooden bowls. Plus I like seeing his big red beard frequently covered in sawdust.

Susan_Obyrne_Ceramics: I have a thing for Susan O'Byrne's ceramic animal heads. She takes faux taxidermy to a new level

Embroidery: Jenny Hart of Sublime Stitching is making embroidery cool again! 

Curvilinear: Amy Abshier's lonely paintings of women are characters that make you want to read their stories.

TrudyHarleyArt: This realist still life painter dangles everything by a string except her talent.

Augustwren: Jennifer Orkin Lewis has done so much with a sketch book and guache. Her drawings and colors are a delight.

Of course these eleven (I couldn't stop at ten) are only a drop in the bucket of the MANY talented artists I follow. Maybe you will want to follow them too. In the infinity of the internet I am grateful there is room for everyone!

A Glossary of Chickens
There should be a word for the way
they look with just one eye, neck bent,
for beetle or worm or strewn grain.
"Gleaning," maybe, between "gizzard"
and "grit." And for the way they run
toward someone they trust, their skirts
hiked, their plump bodies wobbling:
"bobbling," let's call it, inserted
after "blowout" and before "brood."
There should be terms, too, for things
they do not do –like urinate or chew– 
but perhaps there already are. 
I'd want a word for the way they drink, 
head thrown back, throat wriggling,
like an old woman swallowing
a pill; a word beginning with S,
coming after 'sex feather" and before "shank."
And one for the sweetness of hens
but not roosters. We think
that by naming we can understand,
as if the tongue were more than a muscle.
- Gary J. Whitehead

I found this poem in a book of the same name. The book was in a box full of free stuff outside of a neighbors house. When I saw the title I knew I had found a treasure. I love chickens as I do all animals and like to believe they have personalities and thoughts just like people do. That may sound crazy, and yes, I do like to dress my pets up on occasion. (But that's pretty common, right?)

I like the last two lines of the poem. Perhaps by naming we are trying to understand, by painting we are trying to understand as well. I am not sure if we really do though. Maybe our brain like our tongue is really a muscle and not as capable as we think.

I recently went on a tear painting chickens. I thought of the series more like chicken portraits. I imagined grand lives and personality traits for each one I painted. Most of them are proud, one of them is gentle, one is really pissed off and one is inquisitive but really scared. Can you guess which is which? Here they are collected below. I hope you like them. There are definitely more to come...

If you liked these chickens leave a comment or buy a painting!

Talk to you later!

Beth

This pair of pictures is something I have been mulling around for a while. I like to begin with 140lb water color paper. I used Modge Podge to glue some random papers down for texture and then started layering the blue acrylic paint.

After the background was painted, I cut out and glued book pages into the octopus shapes I wanted. 

After the shapes were laid out I painted them to look like the octopuses I had in mind.

To make the teapot and teacup I used a playing card and a found piece of Chinese paper.  

And for the final touches I added an outline with India ink, found green paper for eyes, some bubbles and a little more shading.

I decided to give this little guy glasses and a nice smile. 

This little octopus has a fish (from the encyclopedia) swimming by.

Hopefully you found this "step-by-step" interesting. I think the "Octopus Tea" pair would look great framed. If you are interested it will be on my ETSY page soon.. 

Thanks for reading, talk to you soon! 

Beth

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]]>About the Processself loveNew life experiencecreative livingMindfulnessachieveing goalssuccesscreative blogbeth DoughertyFri, 24 Mar 2017 10:48:17 +0000http://www.bethdougherty.com/new-blog/2017/3/24/how-do-you-define-success555e18c2e4b00d375ca8cdc6:556f2655e4b09adede314816:58d4e70915d5db9666d0ec4d

How do you define success?

Today  on Lewis Howes' School of Greatness podcast, I was inspired by his guest, graffiti artist Eric Wahl to really examine my idea of success. Eric Wahl said that after financial ruin at age 30 he decided to redefine success by things like having a nice dinner with his family. That made me think, how do I define success?

Without really examining it, I define success like I think most people do. Success is appreciation and financial reward for my hard work. And sometime in the future, when I have achieved a certain financial sweet spot... I will be successful. Then what? What does that really mean? What will I do when I reach that magical state of success? Well, for me when I dig down deeper and really think about it, it means I get to exhale and relax. You have earned it, you have nothing to prove - relax.

This may come as a surprise but I don't think I have relaxed since I left college. On the outside it might have looked that way but believe me on the inside I was making a list of what I should have been doing instead or what I would do when I finished "relaxing." My wistful college memories are not of crazy animal-house style frat parties but of long, languid afternoons laying around watching soap operas. (How many men Erica Kane, How many men?)

Success is a tricky thing - its tightly tied to our self worth. I think that was really at the heart of all the volunteering I did in my 30's. If I do X and it is successful it will make me feel good about myself. That raises my self worth and then guess what? I get to take a break because I deserve it. I can be easy on myself - Thank God, because I am really exhausted!

Unfortunately the formula of overachievement = self worth = success does not bring what you desire anymore than equating success to some undefined future goal you cling to. I am not saying success is bad or unworthy. I am not saying that volunteering is bad or having goals is wrong. What I am getting at is the WHY and the WHAT of your success.

When you know what the real WHAT is behind your goal or success then you can align with the WHY. Then all of a sudden you are where you really want to be and doing something you want to do on purpose. Your action is aligned with the right energy.

When I clear away all the outward shiny pennies of success like a nice house, nice clothes, fabulous vacations, etc. what it really represents at the core is the feeling of security in which I can let my guard down and just relax. I can enjoy the moment with out pressuring myself to do something I'm not really inspired to do.  The irony of the situation is that I do not have to achieve success or do anything or be anything other than in the present moment to feel relaxed! My real end goal is already here, I just have to let myself check into it. I have been spending all these years slogging from point A to B but really there is only one point and I am already there, I just need to realize it. There is no worthiness to prove, no amount of money or volunteering will make me more deserving. There is only one thing to do, grant my self permission to do what I want instead of making the story about some pie-in-the-sky hard journey to success. 

I will now say no big deal, time to relax a bit. "Yes kids, I can watch a movie with you." "Sure Doug, let's enjoy a drink on the patio."

When you give yourself permission to live the WANT or the success how does that change the WHY? Because, then you are doing whatever you are doing from a place of purpose and love. Instead of being tired and "having" to push to make dinner or push to drive to gymnastics, you're energized to make dinner because it will taste good. You clean the house because it feels good to be organized. You drive to gymnastics excited about reading your book there. The work you do and the volunteering you do come out of love for either the cause or what your paycheck helps you enjoy in your life. See the difference? It feels better and paradoxically gets better results.

What is your definition of success? Push beyond the boat or the Benz and and ask what success really looks like for you. Is it out there in the distant future or is it something you could start to bring into your life, at least a little bit, right now?

Maybe you have this all figured out already and are pursuing your bliss. I hope you do. For me, I am just gonna go try and relax a little.

Thanks for reading! If you have time, listen to the podcast link above.
See you next week.

Beth

Believe it or not, painting is hard work. Yes, it's totally enjoyable, but it is hard work all the same. I have discovered that it takes about four straight hours of staring hard at something and trying to copy the colors and shapes before your brain starts to get tired and yell for caffeine or sugar. (Maybe that is just my brain... some brains probably yell for carrots). This week after painting so many days in a row my brain decided it needed a nap and a little switch up.

Instead of painting I decided to make stencils to use while painting. (art geek)

Everywhere you look there are patterns. Your iPhone makes it easy to record them. If you like playing around with mixed media or if you like playing around with scissors you might want to try and make your own. This would be a fun exercise to do with kids, how can you replicate the world you see around you?

I used a plastic folder with pockets (left over school supplies.) I drew the design on the folder with a sharpie then cut it out. Totally easy and now I have my own stencils.

This is only the beginning of pattern collecting. Tomorrow I'm back to painting! 

Finished stencils. 

Photographic inspiration while walking the dog. 

Balcony railings. 

The painted stencil. 

Inspired by Keri Smith's book "How to Be an Explorer of The World, Portable Life Museum" I am going to do a series of blog posts as an explorer collecting data in the world. Being an explorer totally fits in with trying to live a more creative life.
As a kid, did you ever daydream that you were an explorer? I certainly did and I still do. An explorer is, in their heart, a seriously curious person - a person who is always looking for new things to observe in the world.

Explorer's Diary, Entry No. 1

Quickly record 10 things that you did not notice before you sat down, about the place you are sitting right now. 

1. Paint splatters on the wall.

2. Patterns of paint all over the protective tablecloth.

3. The shadows cast on the wall are blue. 

4. I have a red olive oil can for brushes. 

5. There is a small picture of my last dog, Fred, looking at me. 

6. I have a little statue of Mother Mary who, instead of facing forward, is slightly turned left and facing me directly - spooky. (I actually have two images of the Madonna in front of me)

7. There are 34 images of birds in my direct sight line.  

8. There are three pieces of art by other artists right in front of me. Two by the talented Billy Aaron Brown and one by Abbey Ryan.

9. I have lots and lots and lots of brushes but I mostly use just 3.

10. There is a picture of my art accountability partner (Anne Barnes) smiling at me from my bulletin board...she is reminding me to hold us both accountable! 

What good was this little exercise? As I pointedly looked around my space I felt so grateful for my surroundings. I love the things I have collected. I love all the bright colors and inspirational quotes. I love being reminded of special people! (BA & AB). Recognizing that all those things surround me was energizing.

Familiarity and habitual behavior can hide things in plain sight!

I challenge you to do this same exploration right now. Are you sitting at your desk at work? Are you sitting at home reading this on your phone? Stop what you are doing and really look at your surroundings. Make a quick note of 10 things you see. It just might change how you feel about your surroundings.
p.s. If you do this post your observations below.

C.S. Lewis — "Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn."

Dear Beginning Artist:
Here's the one thing that has taught me more about painting than anything else: Paint every day. Those three little words are enough to strike fear in the hearts of every art student cradling those fragile dreams of success. It's advice given by every art teacher - but to take it you must surrender to your craft.

I, like many of my fellow students, loved making art but only did it in those few hours a week of class. There are amazing artists that have been taking classes for years because paying for an art class is the only way they would let themselves make art. For fifteen long years I took classes, made art off and on and stuffed a lot of those dreams of an art career down below everything else. I could blame a lot of things but really it was, as Steven Pressfield puts it in his book "The War of Art", Resistance that was the culprit. 

It is said, the thing you resist persists. Thank God that is true! In the 25 plus years I have been personally putting up some form of resitance the desire has persisted. Our move to Germany literally gave me the freedom to make some sort of art everyday. And I discovered, just like all those fine art teachers told me, painting everyday has been my greatest teacher. 

Larry Bird practiced free throws, 300+ a day.

Chef Greg Mindell said it took him baking over 1,000 croissants before he started to understand it.

Researcher K. Anderson Ericsson came up with the theory that elite performers have practiced 10,000 hours. That equals roughly practicing everyday for 7 years.

How do you master your chosen craft? To give something seven years you must love it. Once you give yourself permission to do what makes your heart sing, do it over and over again! So simple its hard to get!

Ouick clips of the past half year.

It is hard for me to believe that it has been six months since we moved to Germany. Only a few years ago, living in Europe seemed like a pie-in-the-sky dream. When I try to figure out how this all fell into place, I have to give some credit to years and years of writing that goal in my journal pages. Yes, our family is here because of a work opportunity for my husband but I think you can't weigh lightly the mental work that is done to attract situations into your life. There is a magic that happens when you are completely grateful for life. Though miracles are always happening, a few specific times spring to mind.

Once after the birth of our first child, I was home on maternity leave and praying that we could afford for me to stay home permanently. I was so grateful for my time. I remember sitting at the dining room table and writing a list of all the things I was grateful for each day. I was (and still am) deeply grateful for it all. I remember giving thanks for everything from our bank account to the pencil I was writing with. That year and for many years afterward things just became more prosperous. Similarly, the past few years, I have written about my desires to travel and live overseas while also being deeply grateful for the life I was living and the routines I had established in DC. Ironically, when we moved from DC it felt like like home and was the happiest situation for us. With that said, I can only look forward to more good things!

I am still working on this idea of the good snowballing into more good when you underline it all with gratitude - so stay tuned.

But I hope you won't mind me telling you some things I have been so grateful for this past six months:
Family and Friends: Of course my nuclear group of four, but also all the friends and family who reach out and show they care and continue to miss us! I love you and miss you all.

Free Time - Though I have missed the proximty of family and friends. I have enjoyed the void in my schedule created by the lack of volunteer "opportunities". I have finally dedicated most of my days to painting and it is such a joy. I am working on an ETSY site and hope to make some art sales. 

My New House - Moving made us finally jettison a lot of our cluttery crap! I can't reccomend the "Japanese Art of Tidying Up" enough. There is a liberation of your soul when you cut the strings on physical things that tie you down. I also love my new studio space. (Plus, we all have our own bathroom - yay!)

Missing the Elections and Barrage of News - We were able to vote in the election but without live TV at home we are cut off from the constant media coverage of politics. Other than Facebook, we have to search out headlines. I have been able to avoid most of it and don't see how I am worse off for knowing less.

Travel - Traveling has only increased my wanderlust! Besides having new experiences, traveling helps me to be more in the present moment than anything else. It is also deeply eye opening to see the world and America from the perspective of not living in America. Can you hold the paradox that the world is gigantic and so small at the same time? That others have perspectives that are just as valid as ours? A good exercise for sure.

European Food - I can't lie, the food is better here. Things are fresher and cheaper. Please come visit me and I'll take you to get fresh bread and cappuccino!

If you made it through this long post, I applaud you. Thanks for reading!

Tschüss,
Beth

I love this little chick! She's surrounded by green leaves and buttercups. She's not worried about life or where her next meal is coming from. She knows she is loved and always taken care of. 

Well January has come to a close and I think I did pretty well on my attempt at consistent daily painting. I did not paint every day of January (I knew I would not paint when friends were in town) but I came pretty close. 

I painted 23 out of 31 days. I finished 16 paintings. I started two canvases that are still in progress. I sold two paintings from the month without even pushing it. (Thank You Collectors!) I listened to hours and hours of podcasts! All in all, I think it was a pretty successful challenge. 

What was the most important thing I learned from this foray into daily painting? That for better or worse the more I paint, the more I want to paint! Painting (of any kind) is the place I find my bliss. Its the place my soul finds restoration and my spirit's vibration is raised. I go into my studio at 9:00 and before I can blink its almost 4:00pm, my kids are coming home and my painting day is over.
The interesting thing is, in the past I have always thought "finding the time" would be the hard thing about making a commitment to my creativity. Once I made the mental commitment that I would be spending some portion of most of my days painting, everything just some how fell into line. Sort of the same way you know that every day you will eat dinner and plan accordingly for that. 

January is done and there are still 11 months left in 2017. I will not say I am going to paint everyday because some days are for museums, exploring the world and filling your creative well in other ways. But, now that I have pledged to my art my most valuable asset (my time) and see that it is not daunting but in fact liberating, I have no plans to slow down!

Question: 
Is there an activity you do that makes time stand still and leaves you in a state of bliss?
If not, can you commit to exploring what it could be?
If there is, can you do it more often?

Let me know! I want to hear what it is for you.

Painted all day today and the time flew by. I painted large scale, quite a change from my small canvases. It was a lot harder but really fun- back at it tomorrow! Yippee! (No sarcasm)

Lately, I have seen so many beautiful sunsets. I have risked my life trying to get my iPhone out to take a picture of them while driving in the car. (Do not tell my husband, he does not want to know that!) My kids make fun of how I babble about all the oranges, salmons, pinks, purples and blues. My youngest even took a stealth video of me going on and on about the sky one evening. Have you ever seen the double rainbow video on YouTube? It was almost like that.

One of my favorite artist, 18th century Spanish painter Louise Melendez, combined his still-lifes with dramatic backgrounds. He would often throw in a sunset or pretentious landscape behind his melons and the effect was stunning. I thought I would try the same with my little still life painting today.

Pomegranates are not only beautiful but symbolic. They symbolize fertility and abundance because of their multitude of hidden seeds. Jews eat their 613 seeds on Rosh Hashanah, Muslims place them in the Garden of Paradise, Persephone was tricked into eating pomegranate seeds and had to stay in the underworld with Hades, Turkish people crack them on NewYears's and according to Wikipedia the pomegranate is the symbol of Armenia.  (Really, why are people not painting more pomegranates?)

Somehow I got off track counting my daily paintings. Today is really day nine. This is a quick study of a lemon. I plan to tone some canvases and set my still life up for tomorrow and hopefully still have time for a nap! Being kinder to my self was also a resolution. 

Today is the 7th and that means I have painted seven days in row. Huge accomplishment for me. I don't know if I have ever done that before, even at an art workshop. They certainly were not all keepers but with each time you show up at the easel you learn something. 

Today I painted a Chinese takeout box. It started out with a lot of potential and ended up looking like amateur night at the local pub.  I scraped the painting down and decided it was a marked improvement over the original! 

Today's daily Painting is Chesnuts. Europeans seem to love them. They have been in the grocery stores since the fall and you can always find them roasted downtown.

My memory of chestnuts is from my childhood in SC. My aunts had a huge chestnut tree. I don't remember ever eating the Chesnuts but the husks were always laying around the yard sharp and spiky, ready to stab your feet through your shoes. Summertime was especially treacherous.

Chestnuts are beautiful, if you really look at them. Wonderful tones of brown and umber, it does make you want to roast them up or put them in your stuffing. I found these two on the sidewalk but after painting them, I think I am intrigued enough to buy a bag at the store.

Today I did not finish a painting but I had a satisfying start. A satisfying start is enjoying your time while painting and feeling like you are in the flow without being rushed to get to the final product.

I do realize that I painted and repainted many spots that could have been left alone after the first stroke. Tomorrow's goal will be to paint more mindfully and leave each stroke where I paint it. 

This is day four of the 30 paintings in 30 days challenge.

Back to oil painting after about six weeks. I felt a little rusty but anything feels that way when you're not used to it. For example; I am also trying to start the year off right by cooking and eating healthier- that feels weird too! 

Best of luck to everyone else out there who is trying to start the year off right. ;-)

Day two of the painting challenge is in the books! The family and I are lounging around the house and enjoying our last holiday before school and work puts us back into our routines. 

We woke up to snow on the ground and things seem to keep getting sleepier from there. (The dog is actually sleeping at my feet as I type this.)

I did manage to sneak into the studio and finish up a project from the online course, Lifebook 2016, that I took this past year. This gal looks a little bit like a gypsy but the message is right. Choose love!

Tomorrow it is back to oil painting after a month of mixed media. I can't wait! 

"You can't throw a habit out the window, you have to walk it gently down the stairs."
- Mark Twain

Well here it is January 1st. I think I have been secretly waiting for the New Year to get back on track. Yes, the holidays got me a little off base. Resistance was tugging fiercely at my sleeves sometimes even tying my arms down. But now it is past Christmas and New Year's Eve so there are no more excuses.

The New Year is a time to take stock of all the bad habits you have acquired over the year or all the good habits you meant to make but really didn't. Most of the time habits are made totally unconsciously over a long time period so it makes sense that breaking a habit is hard and seems to take forever.  Creating good habits has to be done consciously and that makes it seem hard and creep slowly, painfully along - even if its just perception.

Yes, January 1st is here. Its the time to put your money where your mouth is and accomplish all those things you have been meaning to do all year. For me that means blogging more, setting up an email list and Etsy site, eating better, drinking more water and finally starting A Course In Miracles- whew! Those are a lot of good habits to create.

To help me make a serious commitment and start the year off right (because I love goals and resolutions) I signed up for a challenge. During the month of January I will participate in artist Leslie Saeta's 30 in 30 Challenge. Over the next 30 days I will attempt to paint every single day. Sometimes it will be a complete small painting sometimes it might just mean working on a larger piece. The point is to get in the studio every single day and do something creative. That is a big deal for me! I am the queen of three steps forward and two steps back.

January's goal: Each day I will paint something and do a blog post about it.

Three steps forward and two steps back still makes you one step ahead, right? 30 steps is really going in the right direction. Plus, thirty days just might be long enough to make it a habit I won't abandon by February like the gym or my gluten free diet!

I think Mark Twain might agree, thirty days is long enough to walk a habit safely up the stairs and leave it there.

I am in a lucky place in my life right now. I have no crazy obligations and my husband is not screaming at me to get a part time job. I really have all day to paint, I just have to do it. 

Yet again, I feel I am standing on the edge of a cliff. I can step into my dreams, into my joy- yet I hesitate. When I say it aloud logically it's not a monumental or scary thing. Leap, create, paint, do what you have been saying you always wanted to do. Emotionally, as I sit here and contemplate painting or making art, that old fear rises and my stomach feels queasy. 

"Committ, to you my love? "

I know who's here, it's my old nemesis Resistance. It's been beating me for 25 years, always coming up with a cunning excuse or new argument for why it's stupid to chase my dreams. All I can do is take it day by day like an alcoholic. God grant me the courage to create today- to slap resistance off my back.

Maybe that is why  "artist" seems to be a negative archetype. The daily inner battle of resistance and fear - so I repeat my mantra: 

I love myself... I love myself... I love myself... l love...

love...

This process was taught by Tracy Verdugo on Tamara LaPorte's "LifeBook 2016," an online course I have been taking for the past two years. As an artist I am often asked where do I get my inspiration. Usually, I respond with "I don't know" or the equally vague  "life, I guess." But really, inspiration is everywhere - you just have to be willing to pay attention to the details. 

In this process, Tracy teaches students to make inspiration bundles as a creative prompt. The task was to go through 6 or 7 books or papers you have collected and tear out a random image (don't over think it) so that you have a stack of about 7 to 12 pieces of paper. Taking each piece of paper one at a time see what appeals to you and incorporate that into your piece. Below is my finished painting that, in the end,  I was very happy with. BUT - like everything in life - there was a catch...

"Little Details" 9 x 12" mixed media

This is my first image and it is not hard to see where the figure is represented. What WAS hard and what you do not see is that underneath all the layers there was a beautiful, painstakingly  painted re-creation of this woman in black and white. Then I came to my next image and had to  decide what to lose and what to keep. What to paint over and what to incorporate.

In the end it turned out to be a much more interesting painting because of what was kept and lost. That is how I see life. We can try as hard as we can to be something we think we "should" be, to hang on tight to those images and stories we want to tell about ourselves. However, the real beauty is in the details. What we observe, discard and layer. That is how we take our world and create a life that is authentic and worth living.

Each image below is represented in the finished product. Can you spot the inspirational details?

Right now I am feeling thankful that I have this time to work in my studio and get connected back to my spirit and my art.

My usual M.O. Would be to rush into some crazy job or volunteer opportunity to create self worth. But instead of panicking, I am going to trust that my highest hope for myself and God's will for me are in alignment. My path (career or otherwise) is unfolding and I need to trust not panic.

Yesterday, I sat with my thoughts and called in the muse. Above is a picture of her surrounded by symbols of where I am and want to go creatively. She is colorful and bold - just what I hoped to call in.

"Sing in me O Muse, and through me tell the story." -a rough translation of Homer's invocation to the Muse. 

What are you thankful for today? Are you going to trust your spirit or panic?

What is this creative blog becoming?
Lately, it is moving toward a personal journal of reflections. I guess that is what happens when you do not have your art supplies to post about...

This past month I have had really bad hip and neck pain. I have not done yoga regularly since the beginning of summer and decided that I could put it off no longer. (Resistance always kicks my butt!) As I lay there on the floor (no yoga mat) after all the gentle stretching and a lot of movements that involved opening and stretching my throat, I was suddenly flooded with emotion and tears. All these memories flashed in my mind of stupid things I did in high school and college. I felt so bad for the people I hurt back then. To be fair, it was nothing more than the immature dramatics of a 19 or 20 year old girl dating or trying to feel better about herself. I was playing at relationships - playing the part of a soap opera actress!

But, as I lay there starting to beat myself up again, I had a small shift. Something told me to quit thinking about it, forgive, myself and let it go.
How many times have I beat myself up for something that someone else may not even remember? How many times have I tamped down my joy because my sadistic ego throws these memories at me randomly and I beat myself up all over again? How many times? Too many to count. Does that happen to you? Are you sailing along and then you get assaulted with the guilt of some past transgression that in the scheme of life does not even matter anymore? These are the things that eat at my self worth. 

BUT today, I had a small shift. Instead of the usual shame spiral, this time I told myself it was okay. If I am going to be open to receiving more love in my life I have to also be open to more self love. "It is okay. Forgive yourself!" I thought. And the tears became a release I could feel in the tension that was melting out of my neck.
Would I beat either of my young daughters up for the next twenty years for some stupid mistake? No, I would say "You were young, you were just learning how to be an adult. Look at you now! Look how far you have come and what a good person you are." So I did myself the same favor this morning. The 45 year old mother in me told the 19 year old child in me to forgive myself and let it go. Then I did.
I also thought about the wrongs that were done to me at that time. I honestly could not feel any anger or harbor any bad feelings toward those people either. They were forgiven long ago.  I always knew at the time we were all just doing the best we could do and muddling through adolescence. I am sorry it took me so long to forgive myself for things that I readily forgave in other people.  Ahhh! Deep breath, I forgive myself for being young and stupid. I let myself off the hook and I am now officially moving on!

Is that just the way of things? Are we willing to look over things in others that we judge ourselves so harshly by? We could save ourselves so much trouble and hurry the process along for everyone if we just reversed things a bit.

Generosity, forgiveness and love to ourselves first = generosity, forgiveness and love to others!

As they always caution on airplanes, you are supposed to put your oxygen mask on first before you help others. If we did that in life we would probably do a lot less damage to other people - You know– lack of oxygen causes brain damage...

Warning: This is a gross generalization, as I have only been to two German cemeteries. If you are okay with that read on, if not, read something else. 

The German cemetery is totally different than most US cemeteries I have seen. I get the sense that cemeteries back home are mostly a place where we bury the dead but don't really memorialize them. It's not that we forget about them it's just that we choose to honor their memory in other places. (I know there are exceptions)

Not so here. The two graveyards I have been to were bustling centers. In Kaiserslautern proper, the main cemetery is surrounded by flower shops, tombstone sculptors and bakeries.

I have been by the main cemetery many times. Sitting on a bench at the entrance I am stuck by the people continually coming in to tend the graves, mostly older women.  They use water cans and spigots that are located throughout the grounds to water their potted plants, no silk flowers here. Each family plot is carefully swept and raked.

I am not sure what all this says about a culture. What does it mean when you revere the dead so? What does it mean when you don't? Does your life matter less as the generations pass and your grave is forgotten? Of course, the more money you have the bigger your tombstone... Does that mean you were a better person? It makes me wonder what a modern day Saint like Mother Theresa's grave looks like.  Is this just another way we chase immortality?

Whatever the meaning, if they all look like this, I would rather walk around in a German cemetery. They are much more interesting.

As we settle in I have made a few astute observations I thought I would share. (In no particular order).

• In this part of Germany they LOVE Subway sandwich shops. They're everywhere. I guess that freshly baked bread smell is global.

• Germans did not get the memo about smoking. It's like the 1970s over here. There are vending machines on all the street corners and people smoke everywhere.

• The trend of "lobe gauging" or stretching is (literally) huge here.  It's not just the kids doing it either. I am not sure why this trend is becoming so mainstream. I can't figure out what people are trying to say with it. Are they claiming some sort of tribal heritage or solidarity with aboriginal cultures or are they saying "I am so rich I can afford the reconstruction surgery, no problem."

 • The radio does not play edited versions of songs here. I guess the curse words aren't the same.  I had no idea some of the kids favorite songs were so dirty. They don't seem to like it when we're riding down the road and I try to reach around to the backseat and cover their ears. I think they're embarrassed or something.

• German houses have no closets. I now get why they sell all those wardrobes at IKEA. Maybe it's my karma for complaining that my previous house had no storage space. 

• Rats look the same. 

• Squirrels look different. Here they are skinny and red, not an unpleasant change. 

• The US certainly does not corner the market on obesity. I think it's no secret that a lot of people enjoy their beer and sausage in this region.  I believed the stereotype that Europeans were so healthy compared to us Americans. The moral of the story is: invest your money in drug companies that make diabetes meds. Drugs sales are booming everywhere!

 Look for more inane observations later! Also, leave a comment and let me know what you think of these.

Up next, I will share a recent visit to a beautiful cometary and tell you about our new recycling regime.

Auf Weidersehen! 

I dropped the kids off at their new school and Doug to his new job and then I think my body said enough! I promptly got a sore throat, started feeling feverish and the tears began to roll. 

Dont get me wrong, I chose this move. I felt like if I did not do it now I'd never be given another chance for this experience. 

See, I've always wanted to live in Europe, Italy to be exact, but really anywhere in Europe. My husband and I both previously applied for jobs here in Germany and things never worked out. This time things worked with lightening fast precision. So fast, in fact, it has almost been unnerving. A God thing for my spiritual friends a freaky coincidence for my non-spiritual.

It's true, I was very, very happy in DC.  I loved my home, my friends, my church, my kid's school, my routine. I knew when school started back I would sub a few days a week to help with bills and then the rest of the time I would throw myself into creating art and building my art business. I was very content with that scenario.

But I also realize that is a perfect time for God to expand me or others that find themselves in that situation. I was perfectly happy, that's when I got my big life changer. Not when I wanted it before, when I was more unsettled and trying to force things.

So- here I sit in a temporary house in Sembach, Germany, weepy with a sore throat. Trying to nurse it with hot tea and aspirin. In one hour I will head to the girls school and try not to look like I am upset.

As I write this it's 7:30 am at home.  I say a prayer for my friend with the hardest school commute. I am sorry I can't be there to help her this week.

I still have busy work to do (get a German driver's license, Dr. Appointments, etc.) then I suppose I will get a job so we can start paying off this crazy move over here! Let's see, there's the expense of getting the old house up to rental code, the pet's trip over, new car for us here and a new house to live in here. (By the way, German landlords expect three months rent deposit -ouch- that you will probably not get back. The houses also don't come with closets. Now I know why IKEA sells all those wardrobes.) I now realize  "they are paying to move us" means they are simply shipping our household goods for us.

Writing this all out has made me feel better. Perhaps it's been a downer for you reading it, especially if you read my Facebook post yesterday. But for now this is where I am at. --Stick with me. I promise it will get better and cheerier. Things usually do! 

Very soon I will be back to posting artwork and observations on life in a foreign country. Expect many stories on how I embarrass my 12 year old by sticking out as American. I am sure one day soon I will feel happily contented with life here and that is when God will move us on to another adventure. But for now I will just work on keeping my guard down for a little longer and lean into feeling sad.

This morning I painted a tomato. I really love painting them for some reason. Niw that monkey is off my back, time to do some packing.

I realize when I am calm and approach the children with the attitude "I am here to serve you" things have gone great. This past week I made it a point to try and look each child I talked to directly in the eye and see them as an individual person. For the most part they still inhabit that magical realm you get to live in until you are about nine. It is a gift to be reminded that there is still magic in the world... Like the magic of crayons and watercolor paint...

Primary Color Baby Chicks

Its been a fun week with only a few incidents... 

One awesome thing about kids and art: the younger they are the more creatively free they are. Children are so bold, decisive and liberal about their colors and their compositions. Kiddos are all about the process and what looks and feels good in the moment.

Unfortunately, I can see a lot of the older kids (4th and 5th graders) are starting to care more about their final product and less about the process.  

When their final product does not exactly match the picture in their mind, some of them get upset, melt down and give up. 

A lesson learned for everyone (especially aspiring artists)  *Don't skip ahead and fixate on the final product. Respect the process - focus on the process - enjoy the process! *Applies to all activities.

Living in the moment, minute by minute, that's how I'll make it through the rest of the year. Trying to appreciate each kid and where they are in each moment. 

Week one? So far so good!

p.s. I get it Mom, a full week of teaching art doesn't leave a lot of energy for personal art. 

Whether you feel like you have seen the show already (by looking at everyone's photos) or if you are not familiar with it, I recommend you check it out. The works of art displayed there are beautiful and will leave you "wondering" how the artist came up with their ideas and executed them. This show is for all ages and will even interest those who don't care to go to an art museum.

I almost kept my no photo promise until I made it to the room that was covered in bug wallpaper... 

You can catch Wonder at the Renwick through May 8th. 

The Renwick is located on Pennsylvania Avenue at 17th St. NW.

I think one of the best ways to learn to draw is to copy a painting or sculpture.  As a practice I try to get to a museum about once a week (if I am lucky). The NGA never disappoints me! I can always find a painting by a famous artist I never noticed before or discover something new in a painting I've seen a million times. Now that the NGA is rotating some of their art, presumably to make room for their acquisitions from the Corcoran (that is another discussion), there are more new things to see.

Recently, I made a trip to the NGA to collect patterns. Instead of picking a painting to study and draw, I decided to look at paintings and find patterns I could use for inspiration in one of my own paintings. Here is a small sample of what I found.

Matisse may very well be the master of pattern and color. He can take the simple and make it sublime...

If you live in DC and want to go to the museum to draw... send me an email. We'll make an afternoon of it!

...It's never too late to make a resolution for the new year
- even if it is February 2nd!

I could not believe it when I looked at the date on the last blog post. - November 13th? It’s been three months since I declared to say YES to more art time for myself.

It has not all been a bust. Art has been made. Time has been well used and wasted. There have been many Yes’s and No’s. I have just not shared it all publicly.

When I started this website and this art journal I had the goal of sharing my art and sharing some of my struggles and triumphs with whoever might stumble upon this site. I quickly found out that making art was much easier that writing a blog post. 

I tried to tell myself that I was too old and that blogging was for people younger than me. The younger generations have no problem baring their souls. Of course that is not true, age is only an excuse. I also tried to tell myself that I was avoiding it because I was afraid of failure. If I wrote a blog or put myself out there I would be opening myself up to failure and could I handle that? Of course that was not true either, generally, I have the optimism of Scarlett O’Hara.

What is true is this: I have not written a blog post in three months or promoted my art as much as I should have because I have been afraid to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable is hard!  

Being vulnerable means I open myself up to the possibility that you may not like me, my art or what I have to say.

Being vulnerable means I take off the layer of protection I wear. When you draw attention to yourself you loose the safety of the herd. That is why it takes courage.

 Being vulnerable looks like me putting myself out there, creating art, talking about my struggles, fears and triumphs and saying “Hey, I did this.” 

This year I resolve to be courageous by allowing my armor to drop and to be more vulnerable.  I resolve to blog at least once a week and post my other artistic endeavors on Facebook and Instagram when they happen. I resolve to list all my paintings that are for sale on Etsy or some other marketplace. 

If I am not willing to do that, I need to pack up my paints and go home! 
Geesh, I hope this gets easier...

Thanks to Brene Brown for The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly.

All those things I said yes to last weekend were things that I wanted to do but the price I paid was a day of recovery on Monday am exhausting Veteran's and errands all Thursday. That was three lost days right off the bat! 

So what is the point?

1. I have to stop whining because all choices made are mine alone.

2. Before I commit to things I need to revisit my priorities. Planning things out by the week would totally help me.  (so simple, why do I not do this?)

3. When looking back on the week, I need to emphasize the time spent being creative.  That will make me feel better.

I did paint one painting this week. I learned another lesson about being naive and leaving your still life set up with a cat wandering around the house. It does not work!  

I teach an after-care art class on Tuesdays. These kids did an awesome job painting sea turtles.

(Humble brag) Thursday was my daughters 12th birthday. She wanted to see her favorite painting on the way home from school. It is a beautiful Albert Bierstadt at the Smithsonian American Art Museum. I was a proud mama!

So - there were moments of art and creativity sprinkled throughout the week. There were good times spent in the company of friends and a room in the house got re-painted too.  Maybe all those yes's and no's worked out in the end!  

Still, next week I will try to plan it. ..

I spent all day Saturday crafting a jellyfish costume. if that is not creative, I don't know what is!

Sunday saw the completion of a six week Faith & Art class I have been leading. Our final project was a 9 x 12" canvas done in mixed-media. It is a motivational piece for participants to hang in their homes. Everyone did such a great job! Each one different, meaningful and inspiring. Below are just a few of the finished pieces.

"don't forget, you can always do something that moves you forward - clean brushes, write down ideas, look at books, organize, make Halloween costumes, etc. there is always at least one action you can take for your creativity daily!" -Julia Cameron (more or less) 

This week has been fabulous! Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I painted all day. I even managed to paint a little after getting the kiddos into bed on Wednesday night too.
I have to admit that just three days of creative endeavors has totally lightened my soul. Sounds dramatic but I mean it! I feel light and I don't have that low-level nagging guilt taking up air space in the back of my brain. 
Do some people really live life like this? Not having something hanging over them or having the feeling that they are wasting time on activities their choosing simply because they "should?"

Please Beth, remember this feeling next time you are racing off to some volunteer activity!
Hmmm, what will tomorrow bring?

"With God as my witness I will not be distracted by busy-ness again."

Unfortunately, I was immediately distracted again. Life happens! Luckily, it was to entertain a beloved relative... so I am not really complaining. We did manage to spend a day creating abstract paintings and a day at the art museum. We also sat by a fire pit and listened to the baseball playoffs on the radio, old school.
Not necessarily creative living but really good for the soul. Sometimes it is just nice to do something you normally don't do. 

I am absolutely in love with this mixed-media technique! (Cousin Billy Aaron Brown and I worked on these paintings one day during his visit.)  It involves layers and layers of paint, charcoal, watercolor and collage. It is so free compared to my usual oil paintings. It's fun to see the little bits of paper I obsessively save finally used on something. (I found the large pink number on the sidewalk the day I did this piece.) It is a great way to take a break from painting and inspires me to do other paintings. - The first two are mine and the third one is Billy's.

My name is Beth. I am a working artist living in DC. This blog is is my record of attempting to live an ARTful life.

I am declaring once and for all (after years of denial, resistance, babies and busyness) I Beth Dougherty am committing to the CREATIVE LIFE!

What does that mean? What does that look like? I have no idea!

But - I invite you to journey with me as I try to figure that out.

I plan to figure it out by painting, drawing, collaging and journaling daily (or almost daily). If I am not able to get into the studio I plan to live out this ideal by being more mindful and creative in all other areas of my life. By "creative" I mean actually creating things like; meals from scratch, gardening, writing, sewing, etc. I plan to live with more meaning, purpose and passion instead of just coasting robotically through life.

This blog is my manifesto, my intention and my way to hold myself accountable.

Maybe you have a similar story to mine.

I have been an artist all my life. I think we are all born creative. A few of us stay that way but most of us don't. Many times, as an artist, I feel like it is either feast or famine. I have had super productive periods of life followed up by times of producing zilch. (One famine even lasted about 10 years) Sometimes you find yourself totally uninspired and doing nothing. Sometimes you are just afraid (so you do absolutely anything you can to distract yourself from that looming space you call your studio). Sometimes you are rolling along so great you don't know how you ever survived a day without painting.

The challenge is: how do you go from patterns of feast and famine to something that looks more like a sustainable "9 to 5" job? The pursuit of the creative life is what is most authentic for me. I hope I can do it!

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