I recently wrote an article for Playboy.com on the 10 women you need to be following on Twitter, and it went live on the site on June 29.

These babes are hot, smart and cool to boot. You can check learn more about them in my article, The Sweetest Tweets.

My feature on the top 10 sexiest iPhone and iPod Touch apps went live on Playboy.com today. You can check it out here:

Sex Cells: 10 Sexy iPhone Apps

The link is totally safe for work, which brings me to another point. Playboy.com IS totally safe for work people! I understand that some companies just straight up block it, but for those of you who are just afraid, I reiterate, Playboy.com is exactly the same as going to Maxim.com or any other guy site. There is NO NUDITY on Playboy.com…. you have to join the Playboy Cyber Club to see nude photos. So I hope more people will start to realize that—unless they have a block at their office—they can put their fears aside and visit Playboy.com without feeling even remotely pervy or inappropriate (unless you want to feel that way, and well then, that’s just your own business).

I’ve got a couple other features going up soon, so I’ll be linking to those as they go live in the coming weeks.

In any event, I feel compelled to post the Sci Q video that my class made for our big final presentation. We were a wild and crazy bunch =)

I absolutely adore Cesar Millan, aka, “The Dog Whisperer,” so I recently started following him on Twitter. He’s one of those people who automatically follows you back, BUT you also get a little bonus direct message that says this:

“Thanks for the follow! Stay calm and assertive!”

I was beyond amused when I read this. But then I realized, these are seriously words to live by. And they are particularly applicable to my life right now. Thanks Cesar…. once again, you prove that you train people and not dogs. You rock.

I mean, c’mon! It’s too late. I’m already offended. You’ve essentially set yourself up for a guaranteed, offence-inducing comment. And who knows? If you hadn’t said, “no offence, but…” I might have actually gone on with my life, unoffended and happy as a clam. But by starting off with that opener you’ve shot yourself in the foot and planted the seed in my mind. I’m thinking, “Well where the eff do they get off with their holier-than-thou-I’m offended-at-the-drop-of-a-hat attitude?” If you’re going to say something rude, I’d prefer it if you didn’t set it up—just come out and say what you’re going to say. It’s better for everyone involved. I remember in elementary school, girls would say things like, “No offence, but I really don’t like your skirt.” I’d like to know how a person can hear a statement like that and not feel insulted. It certainly never worked for me. My response would usually be something along the lines of, “Oh, well no offence but I really don’t like your face.” See how the vicious chain of rudeness begins?

Anyway, THAT, is my gripe of the day, and I’m really not concerned about whether or not you were offended by it.

I’ve got another article in DVM News Magazine. It’s all about how we love our dogs more than our cats…. well no, not really, but it IS all about why we take our dogs to the vet more than our cats. You can read the full “It’s a Dog’s World” article on on the DVM website.

Well, apparently the 12 weeks my classmates and I spent slaving away over Sci Q magazine were not in vain. It seems The Daily Northwestern has deemed us newsworthy after all. I think this is probably the first time that I’ve ever been quoted in an article, rather than the other way around. It was weird.  I definitely prefer to be the interviewer, rather than the interviewee. Anyway, Sci Q is immortalized in the annals of Northwestern history here.

Last fall I wrote a trend piece for DVM magazine, a trade publication for veterinarians. I examined the impact that the faltering U.S. economy is having on veterinary care of horses. I used to ride and jump horses regularly when I was younger, but my father would always tell me that I couldn’t own my own horse unless we moved to Oregon because the upkeep was just too expensive in the fancy D.C. suburbs where we lived. Land in Fairfax County, Virginia is a hot commodity, and you pay dearly for open space — and obviously, horses require land… lots of it. So going into this article, I guessed that the sinking economy was probably taking quite a toll on horse owners. However, I didn’t even think of all the factors that go into the upkeep of these awesome animals. Not only do they need a lot of land, but they also eat a substantial amount of hay (which of course has to be transported by vehicles that require ridiculously over-priced gas). And just like people, they have routine medical care that needs to happen in order for them to stay healthy. Yup. It turns out that health care for horses sucks too. Maybe Obama can help?

In any event, my article ran in the November print edition of DVM. Unfortunately, due to a glitch in the Matrix, I didn’t receive my copy of the magazine until today. I realize that there is a high probability that you don’t care about the state of equine medicine, but on the off-chance that any fellow horse freaks like myself are reading this, click on the link below to read my story…

Equine Medicine in Today’s Economy

1. I am a true fan of the magazine and even had a subscription for many years. Needless to say, all of my male friends really enjoyed the bathroom reading in my apartment.

2.David Standish (my second favorite teacher EVER — beat out only narrowly by my sixth grade instructor, the incomparable Rick Wormeli) worked as an editor at Playboy for 10 years and was a regular contributor after he left. David was my magazine writing teacher last summer, and the editorial adviser to the fall 2008 magazine publishing project at Medill. Since I was editor in chief of that project, David had to put up with me quite a bit… and yet he still agreed to be one of my references =) Needless to say, I heard a lot of great stories about the good old days, working in the Chicago Playboy offices and hanging out with crazy cats like Hunter S. Thompson. I’ve said all along that I want to be David Standish when I grow up, so if Playboy would just hire me already, then I could hurry up and get on with my life goal.

3. I watch The Girls Next Door regularly. Yup. I said it. I’m not ashamed. What can I say? It’s junk food for the mind & Hugh Hefner is a total pimp. Judge me if you want.

4. I think Penthouse sucks ass.

5. I have a twisted sense of humor and almost nothing offends me.

6. I wrote a quarterly earnings story on Playboy Enterprises for my business reporting class, and I got… drum roll please… an A. That’s right, I can rap about well-endowed naked chicks AND converse intelligently with shareholders about the ups and downs of Playboy stock.

7. I believe that for any publication to succeed in today’s ADD, instant gratification environment, it is absolutely crucial that a cohesive and innovative relationship exist between print and online. It’s all about multiple platforms these days baby, and I’m excited that Playboy recognized this, and is now heading in the right direction. I would stab at least six or seven people to be a part of this evolutionary process. Kidding, kidding… I’d only stab one or two people — maybe three.

8. I’m a guy’s girl through and through.

9. I stole my dad’s Playboy Jokes book when I was a kid and I used to pour over it when no one was looking. Coincidentally, David Standish started out as the Jokes Editor at the magazine. Okay, okay, so one really has nothing to do with the other at all. I just wanted to mention that David spent two years reading thousands of joke submissions (note to Jimmy: I’ll do that too if that’s what it takes).

10. I’m smart, an incredibly hard worker and a damn good writer. (Sorry… I’m not usually this arrogant, but I’m trying to get my dream job here people, so you’re going to have to cut me some slack).

I’m hoping this list will act as my Jedi Mind Trick in written-word form. “You were just about to hire me as an editor Jimmy Jellinek. You were just realizing how amazingly perfect I am for Playboy, especially now that it has decided to consolidate its print and online operations and I spent the last year learning all about multimedia magazine journalism. You were just about to contact me and offer me a job in the new Chicago offices.” Call me Jimmy… seriously… I won’t let you down.