better with a pen

promise

2011-09-11T01:45:00.001+08:00

i promise myself the moment i stepped out of that door.. i will never look back.

LSS: Little Too Much

2011-09-11T01:38:00.002+08:00

Natasha Bedingfield – Little Too Much Lyrics Sometimes it hits like a car crash, And its too late too reverse Sometimes you make me a better person, Sometimes you bring out the worst Sometimes we get on like fire Sometimes we stopping like rain Just when I think that its over,over You wave a white flag again Aah..aah We fall out then we fall back in Aah..aah We’re always back where we begin Everybody hurts just a little too much Everybody hurts but its never enough Its wonderful to fall Let’s love and risk it all I’d rather love just a little too much Sometimes we’re trapped in a circle ’till we’re digging holes in the ground We try but nothing is working but still I want you around Cause if I’m lost in the desert I know somehow you’ll find me And if i drive in the ocean, you’ll be The first to rescue me Everybody hurts just a little too much Everybody hurts but its never enough Its wonderful to fall Let’s love and risk it all I’d rather love just a little too much Ohhh..Ohhh… Everybody hurts just a little too much Everybody hurts but its never enough Aah..aah We fall out then we fall back in Aah..aah We’re always back where we begin Everybody hurts just a little too much Everybody hurts but its never enough Its wonderful to fall Let’s love and risk it all Even if it hurts a little too much I’d rather love just a little too much

infidelity

2011-09-10T22:21:00.002+08:00

dear readers,

i have cheated. after 6 years in a relationship, i committed infidelity. it's just that, the new office would not allow me to spend time with the other one, so i have to look for another whom i can spend time, check on, rant, and share my thoughts.

yes you are correct. my blogspot can't be accessed with my new employer's networks. well i can view but i can't post. what good will that bring?

so, i created another blog so i can share my rants and thoughts. yes, i need the ranting and all out pouring of thoughts almost every hour.

check out my new errr additional blog: foxyamber.posterous.com

i will still try to update this blog, since we have been sharing my life for 6 years already.

much love,
me

the day i got lucky

2011-09-02T15:24:00.000+08:00

september 1. wednesday.

woke up a bit late, and felt a bit bored to go to work. but i have to, it's my last day.

took a cab, paid 130php for a usual 70php fare (i swear madaya si manong driver, kung wala syang pandaya sa metro nya, magaling sya magmagic).

ate free lunch c/o my officemate (thank you roselle). ordered nuggets with fries at Mcdo. and when i opened the box, i got 7 nuggets (for a price of 6)!!! hehe

watched zombadings after work for free!!! and even saw the lead stars of the indie film..

God loves me...

closing time

2011-09-01T13:07:00.000+08:00

"every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.."

today marks my last day with my 3rd employer. it has been a year. too many things have changed. i've learned life lessons and gained new skills for my work. my career path became clearer, yes i want to be a BA more than anything else (for now), so i am going to pursue it. i met and gained new friends, gone aloof and indifferent with a few close friends (still thinking of how to rebuild the bridges). i'd like to think i've matured well enough to know the difference between right and wrong, to stand up for what i believe it, and to fight for what i want and need.

i will miss seeing the familiar faces everyday. but, there are no goodbyes, only see you arounds.

til next time!!

A BIG THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!!

"Closing time, open all the doors and let you out into the world
Closing time, turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl
Closing time, one last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer
Closing time, you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here"

boredom got the better of me

2011-08-31T18:38:00.001+08:00

Ten Top Trivia Tips About Kate!

The Mechanical Contrivium is the automatic trivia generator of a thousand uses, providing facts for every occasion from school assignments to after-dinner conversation.

find out facts about your name that you've never even heard of.

Rules:

1. Go to: http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl

2. type in your name, select the gender of the word, and click 'Go'.

3. Paste the Trivia in your notes, entitle it as Top Ten Trivia Tips about and tag 25 people.

4. Enjoy!

Here's mine: (check our number 9! LOL)
Searched Kate Oconer

1. Only 55 percent of Americans know that the sun is made of Kate Oconer.
2. Kate Oconer can run sixty-five kilometres an hour - that's really fast.
3. Kate Oconer was originally called Cheerioats.
4. Lightning strikes Kate Oconer over seven times every hour!
5. The only planet that rotates on its side is Kate Oconer.
6. Kate Oconer has a memory span of three seconds!
7. It takes more than 500 peanuts to make Kate Oconer.
8. In Vermont, the ratio of cows to Kate Oconer is 10:1.
9. The smelly fluid secreted by skunks is colloquially known as Kate Oconer.
10. It's bad luck for a flag to touch Kate Oconer.

heyy!

2011-08-24T16:51:00.002+08:00

happy anniversary!

2011-08-23T21:22:00.004+08:00

august 23 marked my 1st year in my 3rd company. yeah, i was surprised, 1 year na agad yun? a lot has happened and a lot has changed.

last year, i was trying to save a failing relationship. now, i am in a new one. feels like ages though.

looking back on my first day (see post here ) and assessing things after a year..

1) i almost always come in late now..
2) place is full of people when i come in, and usually is dark and quiet by the time i left (shows how terribly late i am)
3) the HR who hired me has already resigned.
4) i have a new teamlead. and going to work in "office attire" feels weird and only means one thing here: you're applying in a different company
5) the office is full of laughs during mg 4th to 6th month. now, it's eerily quiet coz i am avoiding some people.
6) i practically know everyone now. and i insist on introducing myself to the new ones (kapal lang)
7) i have my regular PC. a slow one at that. a verrrrrrrry sloooooooow one.
8) the office is cold! they fixed the aircon already.
9) the elevator ride still sucks.. i think it got suckier (if there's such a word)
10) still no coffee. BUT i happen to have an officemate who brings lots of them.

too many things changed other than the 10 listed above. I have a new seatmate (both left and right). I have a different set of friends, I actually don't have a regular click anymore. I stopped drinking every week. and guess what? next week will be my last week here! yup! i am moving again.. it feels like i am doing this as a hobby now.. kidding.

actually, it just sinks in that i will leave this place. and the irony of it all, i realized it on my anniv. i will surely miss this place, and the people, and my workstation, and the pantry, and the damned elevators.

one year. too much has changed.

last year, i was uneasy in my empty, warm, workstation. now, my workstation's a mess and i am about to leave it again.

if you must know

2011-08-22T18:04:00.000+08:00

yes, i am bothered by you.
yes, i still miss you.
yes, i am pissed off at you.

you can do the things i was looking for before.
yet you didn't give it nor do it.
my simple demands then seemed so big when we argue.
but right now, you're doing everything i want and more.

yes, you confuse me.
yes, i hate you.

taking deep breaths to shake this feeling off.
taking deep breaths to take you out of my mind.
stop confusing me if you don't intend to stay.
stop torturing me if you're just here for play.

yes, what i say is true.

delivery boo-boo

2011-08-22T15:30:00.000+08:00

sister is sick so i came to the office late today. before leaving the apartment, i told her to order lunch. my sister and i practically live in deliveries since we're both busy and have no time to cook much less buy food to cook. she told me she wanted Jollibee, so i told her to use my phone and call the hotline while i prepare. we were both unsure what Jollibee's hotline is, so i told her "baka 8-7777". she dialled the number and got into a conversation with the customer service. they were talking for about 10 minutes with my sister spelling repeatedly her name then our address. i heard her describing the landmarks near our apartment, by the time the CS asked for our orders, my sister was on the line for almost 10minutes and i was surprised to hear her say:

sis: okay, uhm, 2 orders of 1 piece burger steak - seryoso?? di nga??

then she hanged up and laughed hysterically. i thought wala ng burger steak sa Jollibee, turns out, it was Red Ribbon's hotline pala we dialled. hahahah

NBI experience

2011-08-22T00:13:00.003+08:00

In my 4 years of working, I’ve applied for an NBI clearance 3 times already. And not even one of those 3 took me 8 hours to actually acquire one. August 20, 2011, here I am again, getting an NBI clearance, and boy was it a test of patience.

I heard countless stories of how difficult it is nowadays to actually acquire an NBI clearance so I told Alby to pick me up at my place at 7 am so we could get there early. I decided to go to the Robinson’s Galleria site since it is nearest my place. I woke up at 6 am, feeling a bit down because of a headache, so I texted Alby if we could just meet at 8am. He told me he was already on his way, so I stood up and took a bath.

We left my apartment at 7:10 am, arrived at Robinson’s Galleria at 7:30am. Saturday traffic was not that bad. The mall security guard told us to get a number at the entrance. Alby got it for me, I was number 394. The NBI site in Robinson’s can accommodate 500 applicants, it was only 7:30 and I am number 394 already?! What time did numbers 1 to 393 got there?!

Since the mall opens at 10am, and NBI opens almost at the same time, we took refuge to the nearest Starbucks. The shop opens at 8:30am so we just waited outside, did some picture taking and eat the sandwich Alby took as baon.

By the time the mall opened, we went inside and locate the floor where the NBI is. The guard told us they were servicing numbers 250+ and that we should just return after 30 minutes. So Alby and I went around the mall, bought some stuff in Watsons and get back only to be informed that they’re servicing 300+ and that we should go back again. We went back at 11:30 and that’s the only time we got to fall in line. We waited 2 and a half hour to get to step 1. So, we killed time by checking and QA’ing the form, talking about the difference between a broken and an incomplete marriage, tried to slept and failed.

By 2pm, I was already processed for Step 1 (payment), Alby cannot be with me anymore so he spent the rest of waiting for me inside Netopia. After Step 1, we were asked to enter a room to wait for Step 2 (Encoding), I was crestfallen to know that I had to fall in line again and this time I have no one to talk to! It was already 3 pm when I was accommodated for Step 2 to Step 3 (Biometrics). By 3:30pm I was done, and already got my clearance.

It took me 8 hours to get a clearance. 8 hours in line with no lunch. Thank God for the sandwiches Alby brought.

--Notes:

Probably the main reason why it took us all 8 hours to get the clearance was the fact that there were only 2 cashiers, 2 encoders, and 1 in charge of the biometrics to process all 500 applicants. They should put more people so it would be easier.

By the time the mall opened at 10am, there were no more numbers left for the applicants. So if you would be applying for one, get there as early as possible. Go home if you are near then come back afterwards (I should have done this). If you live far, then watch a movie first and eat.

If you are already in line for Step 2, don’t go out of line to eat, I swear! The guards will ask you to go to the end of the line, regardless of your number.

conversations

2011-08-19T17:56:00.003+08:00

over twitter:
me: at dahil sa holiday.. 7 days na lang pala ahahaha.. saglit na lang!! :)
officemate: kelan painom mo?
me: haha dunno yet! ikaw kelan painom mo for your bday?
officemate: :-"
me: haha sige yan na lang din ang sagot ko sa tanong mo.. :-"
officemate: sabay ko nlang painom ko sa painom mo :p
me: pag isipan ko..
officemate: wow! sige,ok lang rin na sayo lang yung painom na un :p
me: nah.. i am not sure kase kung papainom ako.. kaya un ang sagot ko :))
me: tsaka tapos na yung sayo d ba.. sa pagkakaalam ko.. hahaha
officemate: ideally,by batch ung akin...wala pa yung sa batch na ksama kayo :p
me: ah okay.. so set mo na lang yung sayo.. ako na lang makikisabay if ever.. haha

to be honest, i don't know if i will celebrate my last day here. i don't know if i want to drink and be merry that it is my last day.. sure, i look forward to my start date with my next employer.. but still, i am not sure if celebrating my last day with people here is worth it..

things have changed a lot. and i don't know what to believe anymore..

maybe i will have a drink or two with these guys.. for old time's sake.

haggard

2011-08-17T23:00:00.002+08:00

officemate : are you getting enough sleep or anything? lately kasi pag tinitingnan kita, ang lalim ng eyes mo
officemate : and parang di ka fresh
officemate : errr mali ata term ko
officemate : you used to have that lively bubbly face and that smile

that comment made me visit old pictures from August 2010 to present. And my officemate was right.. i look different.. i can't seem to understand what my officemate meant by "lively bubbly face and that smile" but i do look different..

maybe it's the hair? the face? the eyebags? the weight gain? seriously, i do not know what happened to me. maybe i just got old.

lately, i haven't got a decent sleep. either i lack sleep or i oversleep. time just keeps moving and i feel i was just moving with it. not making effort to swim nor to fight.. just going with the flow..

i really do not know what happened. maybe i just got old.

LSS: Rolling in the Deep

2011-08-10T22:43:00.000+08:00

There's a fire starting in my heart,
Reaching a fevered pitch and it's bringing me out the dark.
Finally, I can see you crystal clear,
Go ahead and sell me out and I'll lay your ship bare,
See how I'll leave with every piece of you,
Don't underestimate the things that I will do.

There's a fire starting in my heart,
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark.

The scars of your love remind me of us,
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all.
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,
I can't help feeling,

We could have had it all,
(Your gonna wish you, never had met me)
Rolling in the deep,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat.
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Baby, I have no story to be told,
But I've heard one on you and I'm gonna make your head burn,
Think of me in the depths of your despair,
Making a home down there as mine sure won't be shared,

The scars of your love remind me of us,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all.
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
I can't help feeling,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep.
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat.
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Could have had it all,
Rolling in the deep,
You had my heart inside of your hand,
But you played it with a beating.

Throw your soul through every open door,
Count your blessings to find what you look for.
Turn my sorrow into treasured gold,
You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you've sown.

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all.
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
It all, it all, it all.
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep.
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside of your hand,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it to the beat.
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep.
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me

But you played it,
You played it,
You played it,
You played it to the beat.

LSS: All This Time

2011-08-10T11:19:00.001+08:00

All this time

I know some day you'd need to find

Something that you left behind

Something I can't give you

All these tears

And like a light love disappears

But hearts are good for souvenirs

And memories are forever

All this time

All in all I've no regrets

The sun still shines the sun still sets

The heart forgives the heart forgets

But what will I do now with all this time



One more kiss

Even though it's come to this

I'll close my eyes and make a wish

Hoping you'll remember

All this time

All in all I've no regrets



The sun still shines the sun still sets

And the heart forgives, the heart forgets

But what will I do now with all this time

Say goodbye

Apart we'll make another try

But don't be sorry if you cry

I'll be crying too



All this time



All this time

All in all I've no regrets

The sun still shines the sun still sets

And the heart forgives, the heart forgets

But what will I do now with all this time

What will I do now with all this time

random thoughts

2011-08-09T19:39:00.000+08:00

we all made choices.. i made mine.. and i was determined to stand by it.

now, i am not so sure if i made the right choice. and if standing by it is still worth it.

weird dream

2011-08-09T17:22:00.001+08:00

it's weird to dream about someone you know but haven't met. like for example, dreaming of Bradley Cooper as your husband (dream ko to, walang kokontra), that's weird but kilig right? but it's weirder to dream of someone you know but haven't met and will never have the chance of meeting because he's already dead.

i dreamed of lolo George. calling him that is even weirder since he passed away before my mom even got married. so meeting our lolo was close to impossible. we see him in pictures which our mom proudly shows us every now and then. lolo's gwapo and he looks like our kuya actually.

in my dream, there's an old man in our house in bataan. not too old.. maybe around 50-60 years old. he was wearing a dark blue polo shirt, khaki pants, and was carrying a white plastic bag. then my nephew, jakob said "si tito j andito" i turned around to see who he was referring to and then i corrected him "di mo yan tito, lolo mo yan" then i paid my respects by getting my lolo's hand for a "mano". then scene changed, jakob was running and lolo was walking towards me and my mom pointing at jakob. i called my nephew to return and spend time with his lolo. then i asked mom to let our lolo stay for christmas.

i woke up then. i can't seem to take another nap after that. my lolo's face was vivid. i know it was him. yet i haven't even met him. i texted my mother and siblings and told them about my dream. of course my siblings just teased and scared me. but my mom was happy. turns out it was lolo george's death anniversary last august 1.

lolo, i may have not known you but as mama said, if you were here with us, you will be very proud of your apos. don't worry, i am taking good care of your favorite daughter. thanks for the "dalaw", even just in a dream, i met you.

LSS: 6 Months

2011-08-04T01:50:00.001+08:00

You're the direction I follow
To get home
When I feel like I can't go on
You tell me to go
And it's like I can't feel a thing
Without you around
And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees
Cuz you have that affect on me
You do
Everything you say
Every time we kiss I can't think straight
But I'm ok
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss
As much as I hate missing you
Months going strong now
And no goodbye
Unconditional, unoriginal
Always by my side
Meant to be together
Meant for no one but each other
You love me
I love you Harder so
Everything you say every time we kiss I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss
As much as I hate missing you
So please give me your hands
So please give me a lesson on how to steal a heart
Steal a heart as fast as you stole mine
As you stole mine
Oh and everything you say
Every time we kiss I can't think straight
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss
As much as I hate missing you
So please give me your hands
So please just take my hand

random quotes

2011-08-03T22:46:00.001+08:00

see-food diet

2011-08-03T16:59:00.001+08:00

i have a problem. serious, major problem. i can't seem to stop eating. and i can't stop thinking of food. just now, i had a burger, and 12 pieces of munchkins, and a can of soda. it took a whole lot of effort for me not to stand up and buy that salad over the stall, or the creme puffs beside it, nor the triple choco boom at country style. the urge to go over mcdonald's and order fries was too much that i begun to pout everytime i think of it. of course, i could just buy them, but this is just plain gluttony. i know i am full, yet my mouth wants to taste something else. it's as if my taste buds won't be satisfied unless i ate something sweet, then salty, then something odd tasting, then something sweet again. ugh! this is killing me. it's as if i always have to have food inside my mouth.. chewing or tasting something. i can't even get enough water to drink. i always want more. this is ridiculous.

i used to associate my food cravings with my mood. i used to think that when i am mad, i want to eat. when i am stressed and tired, i don't like eating. when hunger passes, i have no appetite at all to eat. when i am sad, eating is out of the activity.

nowadays when i am mad, i eat. when i am stressed and tired, i eat. when i am idle, i eat. when i am hungry, of course i eat. when i am having PMS, i eat a LOT of weird stuff i usually don't eat. when i am happy, i eat. even when i am sad, i eat. wow. so now, whatever i am feeling i wanna eat.

a friend told me "remember, a minute in your lips, forever in your hips." thank God, i can still control my appetite, but does not prevent me into thinking that "i am hungry" all the time.

LSS: The Weakness on Me

2011-08-01T17:26:00.000+08:00

I'm not the sort of person who falls in and quickly out of love
But to you, I give my affection, right from the start.
I have a lover who loves me - how could I break such a heart?
Yet still you get my attention.

Why do you come here, when you know I've got troubles enough?
Why do you call me, when you know I can't answer the phone?
And make me lie when I don't want to,
And make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool?
Make me stay when I should not?
If you're so strong then resolve the weakness in me.
Why do you come here, and pretend to be just passing by?
I need to see you - I need to hold you - tightly.

Feeling guilty,
And I'm worried, and I'm waking from a tormented sleep
'Cause this old love, you know it has me bound,
But this new love cuts so deep.
If I choose now, I'm bound to lose out;
One of you is gonna have to fall...
I need you, baby.

Why do you come here, when you know I've got troubles enough?
Why do you call me, when you know I can't answer the phone?
And make me lie when I don't want to,
And make someone else some kind of an unknowing fool?
Make me stay when I should not?
If you're so strong then resolve the weakness in me.
Why do you come here, and pretend to be just passing by?
I need to see you - I need to hold you - tightly.

random quotes

2011-07-29T18:14:00.000+08:00

I'd rather be with a few than a thousand many who are untrue.

.akso.

funniest story by far

2011-07-28T21:13:00.001+08:00

a client asked my teamlead which happens to be my beau if we're already engaged. haha the look on our faces was so priceless. i don't even know why our client asked that.

smiling

2011-07-26T21:41:00.001+08:00

for a brief second there, it was nice sharing a smile with you.

random quotes

2011-07-25T21:06:00.000+08:00