Between the Branches

Deity of the Week - Hecate

2012-02-13T06:00:00.000-06:00

Also known as: Hekate
Hecate is a Greek Triple Goddess. In her various forms she represents maiden, mother, and crone. As a Goddess of the night she also represents the phases of the moon.

Hecate is a pre-olympian Goddess. She is very old and pwerful. When Zeus and the others came along, he let her do as she wished, and "granted" her powers that she likely already had.

As a Maiden, Hecate represents new beginnings or a fresh look at the circumstances.

As a Mother, Hecate is nurturing and protective in a motherly way.

When Hecate is in Her Crone aspect, she is very wise and powerful.

On the whole, Hecate is a very harsh Goddess. She does not take kindly to foolishness and poor circumstances that were brought on by yourself.

She honors the feminine for the power and wisdom that is inherant in it, not because of the sex or romance that tends to go along with it.

Hecate is also known as the Goddess of the Crossroads, which portrays her to rule over transitions or journeys. These can be literal or metaphorical changes, so a new move or journey or a change in mindset would both apply to Hecate's rule.

Days sacred to Hecate are August 13 and November 16. In August, offerings and sacrifices to Hecate are to prevent her wrath upon crops. In November, offerings and sacrifices are given near midnight to hopefully gain her mercy through the winter.

Animals: Dogs
Foods: Apples

Hecate is a good patroness for a female pagan, as she covers a wide array of areas, and she encourages you to work for yourself rather than ask to be handed everything without earning it.

Turning the Wheel

2012-02-08T20:27:00.001-06:00

These past few days have been busy on top of busy.

On Imbolc, my husband got a job offer, finally. After months of searching it was a much needed relief. I was really feeling the change that comes with the season, and I still feel that this is just the beginning. It feels like a perfect time to start a tarot meditation that I have had thoughts of over the past year.

We are moving to the city, which I feel is a big relief. For the past year and a half I have lived in the country, and the scenery and nature are so much better than concrete and steel, I miss being close to stores and entertainment. While city life isn't the most environmentally friendly, neither is having to drive an hour and a half to do anything outside of grocery shopping.

I have come to terms that you don't need to live in the country in order to be pagan. And that living pagan in the city can be just as good or better. It is about the choices you make and how you feel, not where you live. There is more than one way to honour the Gods.

Oh! I got a call about an interview on the 17th. It's in my field, so I am excited about that. I would have to find daycare for my son, but it would be more money if we could find decent care at a good price.

Deity of the Week - Triple Goddesses

2012-02-06T08:00:00.000-06:00

A Triple Goddess is any female deity that has three parts. In the most basic form, a Triple Goddess represents the Maiden, the Mother and the Crone.

This is the first in a series of Triple Goddesses and Gods.

Maiden - Mother - Crone
The Maiden is about purity and She represents the innocence of youth.
The Mother is nurturing and protective.
The Crone is very wise and powerful.
Each aspect of a Triple Goddess has its strengths and weaknesses, it is good to know what they are if you plan to work with one.

Hecate
Hecate represents feminism as a wisdom and a power within itself, but not in a sexual sense. She isn't a dainty Goddess, and can be harsh, however. She is a very good Patroness for feminists.
In her maiden aspect she represents new beginnings or points of view.
In her mother aspect she represents nurturing and a motherly protection.
In her crone aspect she represents feminine wisdom and magic at its most powerful.

The Morrigan
The Crow Goddess is a Goddess of battle, strife and fertility.
She is sometimes referred to as a Triple Goddess, but that can actually be debatable.
Sometimes she is seen to have three aspects, and other times she is one of three sisters. Her sisters are the Badb and Macha.

The Greek(Roman) Fates
Known collectively as the Moirae, the Fates are often seen together. It is their responsibility to control certain aspects of everybody's life.
Clotho(Nona) - Clotho spun the threads of fate, She was often called upon during late pregnancy.
Lachesis(Decima) - Lachesis decided the length of one's string of fate.
Atropos(Morta) - Atropos was known to be inflexible, and she was the one who "cut" the threads of one's fate.

The Greek Charites
Also known as the Graces, the Charites were Aglaea (Splendor), Euphrosyne (Mirth), and Thalia (Good Cheer). (Thalia is also the name of a Muse, so don't get those two mixed up.)

The Greek Furies
Also known as the Erinyes, the Furies are three sisters of vengeance. Nearly invincible, they are the "police" of the Gods. They take oaths seriously and are harsh against those who break their vows.

The Three Daughters of Allah
al-Lat "Mother Goddess of prosperity"
Al-Uzza "Mighty one" the youngest
Manat "Fate" "the third, the other"

Elimination Communication

2012-02-05T09:03:00.001-06:00

Warning: This posts has a lot of bathroom talk in it. Skip reading if you don't want to. (I won't hold it against you.)

EC day 1:
Cleaned off area around bathroom sink.
Tried after nap, 3 times in about 15 minutes. No pee. Peed 5 min later during naked butt time on diapers.
To research: how to EC with regular toilet? Sink is tiny.

Day 2:
All day at school. Didn't attempt.

Day 3:
Caught 3 pees! Two were after naps, and another was after my shower. (He peed before my shower.)
My hubby thinks that I am crazy, but he caught one of the pees today. He wants me to get it down before he really gets into it.

Day 4:
Caught first morning pee and the one after it. Liam pooed on a diaper just before the 2nd pee. I wiped him off then took him to the sink.
Wondering how the position I hold him in will work with poop.

Day 5:
Caught our first poo. (Unexpectedly.)
It didn't make nearly as much of a mess as we thought. It did get on the edge of our (tiny) sink, though.

Day 6:
It is a lot easier to EC in the morning. Once we miss one it kind of goes down hill from there. Caught a pee just before giving him a bath. No need to worry about him peeing in the bath water.
We are hoping to find a good baby potty to use in the living room rather than going to the bathroom every 45 minutes. No luck yet.

Thoughts:
We are only doing EC part time right now, but as Liam gets older I hope to do it more often. Once we have a better apartment and a baby potty I feel it will get easier. He wiggles a lot when we hold him over the sink.
Overall, I started out really worried about elimination communication being difficult or missing the cues. I was happily surprised that all my worries were unfounded.

Now to figure out an easy way to wipe Liam's butt after he poos.

Post Imbolc Thoughts

2012-02-04T11:24:00.001-06:00

I didn't really celebrate Imbolc. The family went over to my in laws and I made some scones. That was it, really.

However, the spirit of the holiday wasn't missed. My husband finally got a job offer after months of being unemployeed.

Yesterday we went to the city to look for a new apartment. Finally we get closer to civilisation.

I may be pagan, and I love nature and the country, but only having one option for shopping has really started to wear me down. I am looking forward to the change.

Maybe the apartment we get will have a balcony and I will be able to compost and garden a bit.

Here's to new beginnings.

Hope everybody has had a blessed holiday, if they celebrate it.

Facebook and Twitter

2012-02-02T13:50:00.003-06:00

I'd love to connect with you all in ways other than in comments.

Let me know what your twitter accounts are, and any facebook pages for blogs.

My Facebook.

My Twitter.

Imbolc Link Roundup

2012-01-31T10:34:00.000-06:00

Here is a list of links/articles about Imbolc, as well as some of my personal observations.

This article is a great explanation of how to "get into" Imbolc as a holiday. I'll admit, it is definitely one of the more difficult Sabbats to celebrate and really feel the meaning behind it.
I think it brings up a great idea of using the day for spring cleaning. While you most likely won't be throwing the doors open while you clean your home, opening the windows is a good way to get the energy moving. Turn off your heat for a half hour (if you can, I don't doing this with small children home) and open your windows. You will get some fresh air and some of the stagnant energy in your home will be removed. (I think doing this is good on all Sabbats, or just regularly for keeping things positive.)

I wrote earlier about Imbolc being a time for fresh starts and changes. Here is the article I read that inspired that post.

The wiki article about Imbolc.

A lengthy and indepth article about the history and Gods of Imbolc.

If you're wondering what to cook for Imbolc, here are a few recipes. Anything that features milk, dairy or meats is a good place to start. I'm not sure how to go about a vegetarian or vegan meal for the sabbat. (Going to look that one up now.)

For a vegan menu, just look here. (I found the link from Confessions of a Kitchen Witch. Here is her Imbolc menu, though it isn't vegan.)

Deity of the Week - Psyche

2012-01-30T04:30:00.000-06:00

Note: Deity of the Week used to be on Wednesdays, but now I plan on posting on Mondays. It may not be weekly, but I will try.

Psyche is the Greek Goddess of the Soul/Transformation.

Psyche was born a mortal and was reputed to be very beautiful. Several people, both man and God, showed interest in her, but she wasn't interested in romance. Psyche's lack of interest in love offended Aphrodite, who had her son, Eros, go and shoot her with one of his special arrows. (It would make her fall in love with the first man she saw.)

However, Eros accidentally pricked himself with his own arrow just as he was about to shoot Psyche with it, consequentially falling in love with her himself. Scared of what his mother would say, the two quickly eloped and had a lengthy honeymoon.

Eros refused to let Psyche look at him, in fear that who he was would get out. She went to sneak a peek to see what he looked like, but dripped some oil on him from her lamp.

(Alternatively, her friends we jealous of her wealth, and persuaded her to stab him for hiding his appearance. However he woke up just in time.)

Either way the story goes, Eros left Psyche, and she was heartbroken. She had fallen in love with him over the time they had together. Eventually, Psyche goes to Aphrodite to beg for her blessing. Aphrodite decides to take advantage of the situation and sets Psyche 4 tasks to complete.

The first task was to sort a roomful of grains overnight. Overwhelmed by the impossibility of the task, all Psyche could manage was to weep in the corner. An army of ants felt bad, so they came and sorted the grains for her.

The second task was to bring the fleece of a ram that had already slain several other heros. Psyche was again, terrified. She was sure that she would fail, until she was given advice by a reed to wait until nightfall. Once the ram was asleep, she was able to gather fleece that had fallen off or gotten snagged on trees.

For her third task, Aphrodite wanted Psyche to venture to the entrance to the underworld and fill a jar with water from the waterfall. When Psyche arrived, she realized how dangerous the task truly was. However, an eagle came by and filled the jar for her.

The final task was to visit Persephone in the underworld and obtain a box of sleeping potion from the Queen. Psyche was to ignore the other inhabitants of Hades' cries and leave without aiding any of them. This journey took a while, but Psyche eventually completed it. She was so worn out from the trial that she took some of the sleeping potion for herself.

Eros found Psyche to be unable to be woken. He rubbed the potion from her eyes and forwarded them on to Aphrodite. Lowering his standards and swallowing his pride, Eros went to visit Zeus for assistance. Athena suggested to make Psyche immortal, which Zeus granted and the two were legally married under the King of the Gods.

Unable to contest the pair anymore, Aphrodite finally gave the marriage her blessing.
It is possible Psyche is of Roman origin, or from a later time than ancient Greece. There is no historical evidence of Psyche having a group of followers, which indicates late arrival or lack of recognition as a Goddess.

----

The moral of Psyche's story is to improve yourself. During the trials that Aphrodite puts her through to get Eros back, she goes through a major transformation. In her first task she does nothing but weep for her situation. She doesn't work to make it better, in the 2nd and 3rd tasks, she gets help from others. And finally, in Aphrodite's 4th tast, she gets through on her own, even though it is long and arduous. Like a butterfly, Psyche goes through her own transformation. She starts out as a mere, though beautiful, mortal and ends up as a strong woman, and a Goddess, no less.

The name Psyche means "to breathe".
Animals: Butterfly(transformation), sheep/ram, ants, eagle
Stones: amethyst, rose quartz, obsidian

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Resources:
http://www.goddessgift.com/goddess-myths/greek_goddess_psyche.htm
http://www.fjkluth.com/psyche.html

Imbolc

2012-01-29T09:55:00.001-06:00

I was browsing through some articles/blogs I wanted to read when I read one about how Imbolc is a time of fresh starts. This resonated with me deeply. My family is going through a particularly tough time on quite a few levels.

Both my husband and I haven't had work for about 3 months. We have a new baby to take care of, and school. My husband graduates in March, and I graduate in June. We have loan repayments starting soon, and big school projects on our mind. It is tough.

I feel like this really is a time for fresh starts, and boy, do we need one right about now. I have inklings for a ritual or spell that I want to do, but haven't fully worked themselves out yet. And I definitely want to work in some meditation and communicating with the Gods. I need it badly.

But traditionally, Imbolc is the time when things are beginning to stir. Sheep are pregnant, or producing milk. Cows are having their calves. I remember this time from when I was dating a farmer. He was always on call for when his dad needed help with a cow in labor. I would have loved to see that in action.

This winter has been so mild compared to the past two I have spent in America's heartland. Even on the East coast things were always colder and wetter. We have had maybe three very light snows, and all of them have melted within a week of falling. It has been up in the 60's a few times, even! How can I get into the spirit of expecting Spring when Autumn never really left?

I must say I am looking forward to warmer weather. I was never one to enjoy the cold. But I am feeling this time of fresh starts, even if I don't quite feel that Spring is coming.

What is everybody doing for Imbolc?
Do any of you have ideas for a ritual or spellwork? Particularly regarding finances/jobs in relation to the Sabbat.
Any related links are also welcome.

Blessings,
Skye

Postpartum Depression

2012-01-27T13:04:00.001-06:00

I've struggled with depression since my mother died almost 10 years ago. It has been an on-and-off thing for me, and I have learned what works and what doesn't. (For me, at least.) This is just my experience. I am not a professional, and I can't say it is the same for everybody.

Writing. Getting out of the house/being active. Talking with friends (though not about the depression necessarily.)

I can't talk about depression easily. I get overwhelmed with my emotions and can't get out a single coherent word. That "conversation" would essentially be somebody watching me cry. Not cool.

I hoped that I wouldn't be affected by the dreaded postpartum depression. (PPD.) I prayed I wouldn't be somebody who couldn't enjoy her child's early months or years because she was sad, or whatever depression is, really. I'm no expert on the what's and why's of depression.

The first couple of months were great. Then my husband lost his job. (Situation is a big factor in when my depression shows up.) We have both been looking for jobs, with no luck. We have a bit of help from family, but after a few months we are flat broke. We can't really go out and do things. We can't afford the gas, or any expenses that would arise while going out.

My husband is a big of a recluse when he is stressed. He internalizes everything. I need socialization. Those two styles don't mix well. But we manage. We both give a little.

It started by me just feeling overwhelmed. I needed a break from being me. In the past, I played videogames. I can't really do this now, since I have a husband and a child that rely on me. I can't zone out for hours because I am always on mommy duty. No matter what I have to be there to feed Liam. He is my first priority. That is hard to deal with on its own. Adding depression into the mix is so. much. harder.

I asked for help from my husband, but never told him the problem. He didn't understand why I would hand him our son and go away. I needed the break.

It took me over a month to tell him. And I did it with a letter on a particularly bad day about a week or so after I finally admitted it to myself.

But now that I have accepted that I have PPD and it doesn't mean that I am a bad mother I have been able to help myself.

Here's what works for me. It may help you or someone you know.

Taking vitamins and fish oil. My friend's husband is a therapist and he says this works better than drugs a lot of the time.
Staying active/getting out of the house.
Writing. (I don't do this enough. It helps but I don't feel like doing it usually.)
Exercise. (Both for feeling good about the changes in my body and the endorphins.)
Having a schedule or plan. Know what you are going to do and do it. (This one requires some help/support from others.)

Most of all, PPD isn't anybody's fault, but it affects everyone who comes in contact with it in some way.

Breastfeeding and School

2012-01-19T22:14:00.001-06:00

I am a breastfeeding mother.

That, I feel is one of my biggest accomplishments to date. I am extremely proud that I am doing everything I can to give my son the best in life.

Now here's the problem. I'm also a college student. I've been going to ITT Tech for about 2 years now. I'm close to graduating. During this time I have seen people bringing their kids to campus. Not to class, but they have had their children on school grounds.

Never have I heard of them being told children weren't allowed.

So I took my son when I had him. During the 3 months I had off right after he was born I went to school with my husband on occasion. Nobody said he wasn't allowed on campus.

But about a month after I was back in school my husband got pulled aside and told that students were having issues with my feeding my son. Okay, I can understand this. But by state law it is within my right to feed my son wherever I am authorized to be. It didn't bother me.

A week or two later the assistant dean came and talked to me about moving to a more secluded spot on the other side of campus. This would mean packing up my son's diaper bag and moving 5 minutes across campus. That's at least 10 minutes. Not an easy feat to do with a screaming, hungry baby. I stood my ground saying it was legally my right to feed him wherever I needed to.

The next day I am informed about the rule that children aren't allowed on campus. I was shocked. A couple days later I find out that they are now enforcing this rule.

I have no doubt that the motivation behind the rule being enforced is because I was breastfeeding my son. But I also know that I have no grounds to sue because of the no children part of the student handbook.

I don't know if title nine has any jurisdiction over breastfeeding mothers. I know it gives me rights, but I don't think it can counteract what is in the student handbook.

I hate that I have to sit back and bear this blatant discrimination because the school is within their rights to enforce their rules. I would love to boycot the school, but that would leave me with $60k in debt and no degree. I would love to stage a nurse-in but there aren't many female students, let alone lactating ones.

If any of you have any advice or info that would help this situation, please let me know.

I'm off to figure out what I'm going to do about my 12hr school day on Friday.

How Motherhood Changes You

2011-11-04T18:38:00.001-05:00

I've always been a nurturing type of person. Back in highschool, I would carry around first aid supplies, asprin, tampons, and pretty much anything somebody might need on a daily basis. My friends always knew that if they needed something, they could ask me and I would probably have it. I got jokingly called "mom" by a few of my friends. Taking care of people is a role that I enjoy greatly.

I thought that not much would change about me taking care of people when I had my baby. Turns out that I would be really surprised instead. I have since realized that taking care of my friends and my husband are on a completely different playing field than taking care of my son. He is more than just somebody I care about. My son means more than life to me, and taking care of him is what I was made for. It isn't in between things that are important to me, or when I have time for it. His welfare is first and foremost in my mind.

There are things you can't understand about motherhood until you become a mother yourself. My priorities have changed. I want to do everything in my power to make Liam's life happy and healthy. It's amazing, really.

I know I'm not really getting anywhere and I am talking in circles, but it is so hard to explain.

I try harder to clean my house, especially anything that comes in contact with him. I clean the floors more often, and I really want to deep-clean the carpet before he is crawling.
I have figured out how to put just about anything on pause to tend to his needs.
I can do dishes and laundry with him in the sling. Though I must admit it is much more difficult and probably short lived, since he is getting so big!

I can't think of any other concrete ways that I've changed over the past couple of months. For those of you who are mothers, how has becoming a mother changed the way you look at life, or the way you act?

Deity of the Week - In Practice

2011-11-03T17:30:00.000-05:00

I loved my Deity of the Week series from way back when I actually blogged. They were some of my most read (if not commented on) posts, as well. I would like to bring back the series, though I'm thinking about adding a bit of a twist, as well. Putting the knowledge into practice and building up a relationship with the Gods.

Some questions I'm going to meditate over are going to be: "How do you build a relationship with the Gods?" and "How can you honor the Gods?"

Are there any other questions you have about building a relationship with your God or Goddess of choice?

Would you like me to research a particular pantheon or God or Goddess? How about an aspect of the Gods? (Triple Goddesses, Goddesses of Love, etc.)

I'm very open to suggestions right now, since I'm just getting back into writing again, and I only have a limited set of ideas at the moment.

Resolutions

2011-10-30T19:17:00.000-05:00

The New Year is always a time for new beginnings. New beginnings generally mean that you're goingt o do something different. If you don't know what that is, how are you going to accomplish it.

I don't know if it's been this way since the beginning of the human race, but it seems to be a natural human desire to strive to something. Goals are a way of making the unattainable easily reached. Goals can be big, such as losing 50 pounds, or small stepping stones to get you one your way. (Like eating less fatty foods, or going on a walk 3 times a week.) But then again, when I think of it, isn't surviving (which was the major focus way-back-when) a goal of its own?

I have always found it easier to say you're going to do something rather than to say you're going to avoid something. The mind is a powerful thing, and when you keep thinking on the positive side of things, you're more likely to achieve your goal.

Having just had a baby 2 months ago, I'm definitely focusing on getting my body back. I actually already lost all my baby weight (plus a couple lbs) but before you start chasing me with pitchforks and threatenng to burn me at the stake, it was mostly baby and water weight. I was back at my pre-pregnancy weight around 3 weeks out. Since then, everything I've lost has been the fat that has built up. And I'm sure it would be more if I weren't focusing on toning rather than losing.

Aanyways, now that I'm back from my tangent. My main resolution is going to be to stick to exercising. Right now I'm doing about 15 minutes worth during the week, and taking the weekends off. This seems pretty reasonable. I want to continue it.

Resolution 1: Work out for 15 minutes 5 times a week.

And then it's time to pluck at my personal goals.

I want a relationship with the Gods. A healthy one. I know I bring this up pretty much everytime I post, but it is something I really struggle with. Magic isn't a problem, I can use that fine - I don't need to have an ongoing rapport with it for it to work for me. I want to get to know my Gods on a "first name" basis. I don't know how much of me really believes in the purpose of them anymore, and that's a problem. I need to find out where I stand in this matter.

Resolution 2: Figure out what the Gods/Goddesses mean to me.

Resolution 3: Build up a relationship with Thor and Frigg.

And I think there's one more... Give me a minute to think...

Oh! That's it!

I used to read tarot very (in my ~~humble~~ opinion) well. I want to do a reading weekly again. And write it down. I still have a notebook filled with readings.. That I started way back in 2007. It isn't even half full. What is with that? I recorded almost all of my "real" readings (rather than pull a card or two and get a summary type of thing) since I bought the book. It should be replaced by now. I want to at least finish the book by this type next year. I can do that.

Resolution 4: Do a weekly tarot reading.

So that's it. 4 things that I want to do. I can add those into my schedule, I do have the time for them. And they are priorities. So now I'm off to figure out how to manage this.

Samhain

2011-10-28T16:26:00.001-05:00

I know, right now all of you are reading the same info abour Hallowe'en over and over right now. Or, if you're like me, you're skipping it over completely. (Feel free to gasp. It's downright blasphemous. I know.) I learned the meaning of Hallowe'en long ago. It is my favorite holiday, and while I could probably use some brushing up about the other Sabbats, I know I have this one right.

Last year, around this time, I was in difficult circumstances. I had just moved in with a friend. (Which, within a month, turned out to be a very bad idea.) I had just started seeing my husband. (Short courtship, huh?) And things were very up in the air. I spent my Hallowe'en morning with my husband, and the evening out trick or treating with my friend's boyfriend's kids. (Say that three times fast. Is it just me or does everybody hate using consecutive posessives in a sentance?)

This year, I'm not really doing anything. Giving out candy, for sure. But I'm taking care of my baby first and foremost. I can't go out to a party, and I'm nowhere near spiritually capable of doing a ritual. Not that I'd even have time or the energy for one.

I'm adjusting very nicely to being a mother. It's hard work. Hard work that comes naturally to me, thank the Gods, but hard work nevertheless. I am enjoying every minute I can with my son, since in early December I have to go back to class and leave him with grandma or daddy. I'm not looking forward to it in the slightest. Any suggestions for dealing with separation anxiety?

As the season wanes, I have been feeling very inspired. I don't know how much of it is the energies changing around me or if it is just what I am exposing myself to by reading and browsing the web. I'm enjoying it, though. I want to make these lotion bars I've seen around the web. (And don't have a link to presently, otherwise I would share.) I also want to look up some kitchen witchery stuff. (Favorite links or blogs would be much appreciated.) I still need to figure out some spiritual me-time. Currently my me-time consists of cooking, cleaning, showering, or sleep. I have time to read and write though, so theoretically I should be able to work it in. I wish I had somebody who was in the same boat as me here, then maybe it wouldn't be such a problem.

I am enjoying the change of season, like I said. As I believe that Samhain is the beginning of winter (and back home it has already snowed! though thankfully nothing here yet) I am mentally preparing myself for the (much) colder weather. I am looking forward to soups and stews being much more acceptable and hopefully to find some quiet time to focus on relationships with the Gods.

Many pagans also view this as the "witch's new year" and I can't really agree, but since I am so motivated I just may make a resolution anyways. I need something to work towards. Or a few things.

I'll think all that over and see if there's a resolution or two that I can put to use.

Do any of you have Samhain resolutions? What are they?

What does Samhain mean to you? (Outside of the textbook answers.)

Do you have any suggestions to help me figure everything out? Leaving my son for the first time? Spiritual road block? Suggestions for posts you want to see? Questions?

As I've said I'm feeling more inspired to write again. So I'm an open book.

(On a side note, I want to start adding pictures to the blog. What are good sources for free/common license pictures, and would you mind crappy cellphone pics since I don't have an actual camera.)

Had the baby

2011-09-05T06:54:00.002-05:00

I had the baby last Monday. (Aug 29)

Labor was difficult. Possibly working on writing up a birth story, but right about now I can't guarantee anything.

It was a boy. Just over 9 oz. 21 inches long. 14.5 inch head.

Going crazy

2011-08-21T13:13:00.000-05:00

So I've got anywhere from 0 days to 2 and a half weeks left of being pregnant. (Give or take a few days.) And I think I'm actually starting to panic a bit.

Taking care of a baby in utero is pretty easy to do, if not the most comfortable. In just a short period of time, there is going to be a living, breathing, needy little HUMAN that will be relying solely on me to take care of it.

I know there is only so much preparation that I can do, but I still feel like there is so much that I should be doing to get ready for this little one and I'm just not sure what that is.

Physically, I'm feeling ready to have this baby, but my body doesn't seem to be gearing up too much, yet. Not that that means anything. I have stretch marks all over, I knew it was going to happen since I got them during puberty and that wasn't nearly as big of a physical change as this pregnancy has been.

Note to anybody who plans on getting pregnant, or might get pregnant or has a belly button: don't get it pierced. The way it heals causes some really uncomfortable stretching and it just isn't pleasing to look at. That might change post partum, but it really isn't fun during pregnancy.

(I'm feeling really scatter brained, and just wanted to get things off my chest, so don't mind the jumpiness of this (and any future) post. )

I feel like I should be taking care of this baby. Feeding it, and changing its diaper already. I'm definitely getting impatient. We'll see how that changes when s/he is born.

Still here

2011-08-08T07:14:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to stop by the past few days to stop by and say I'm still here. Baby is still snuggled in my belly. I can feel my body preparing to give birth, but I don't think it's quite ready yet. Just little things here and there.

37.5 weeks, so I've still got time. Baby's good to come anytime in the next 4 weeks, so we'll see how/when that goes.

Finally have baby stuff ready. (Well most of it.) And I'm getting really excited. My husband and I are both anxious to meet this little one.

He or she dropped about a week ago, then dropped more a few days after that. I can breathe again, but now it's harder to walk. It hurts! I wouldn't trade it for the world, though. I'm still loving being close and feeling all the kicks and nudges from this babe.

Hope you are all doing well.

xoxo

Time is running out.

2011-06-26T22:20:00.000-05:00

It seems like each week is going by faster than the last lately.

I don't know if it's the usual product of summer, or if it's because I have so much left to do and what feels like no time left to get it done in.

I just started new classes, and I'm already two weeks in. 9 more to go before these are done.

I'm 31 weeks pregnant. 9 weeks to go there. 8 if I'm off on my dates. (I'd at most be one week more pregnant than I'm expecting.) 6 more weeks until I'm considered "term". Or 5. That's just unfathomable to me.

I'm starting to freak out about actually taking care of this baby. I know that I'll do fine, and everyone has to figure out how to make it work for them, but really how am I supposed to learn when I need to change a diaper? Should I actually look inside it, or are there other ways to tell? (Cloth diapers, not disposables.)

I'm so excited to meet this babe, but I'm hoping that he or she takes their sweet time coming. I want to finish classes before I'm taking care of a little one, too.

I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to take classes where my finals would be right at the same time that I'm due to give birth. Really? Can somebody give me a crazy person award? I think I deserve it.

(Do they give awards for being crazy? I doubt it. I need a better adjective, I guess.)

I'm really enjoying pregnancy. Everybody keeps insisting that I must be miserable. Yes, I have back pain. I had that before I got pregnant, it's nothing new. My hips are sore from the pressure as well as hormones relaxing my muscles. Don't ask me what that hormone is, I can't remember the name of it.

But I get to feel my baby kicking. I know that they're healthy and growing. I'm growing too. You can tell by my stretch marks getting longer. I've got bright pink spots added on to the end of my stretch marks that I got from puberty. And at my belly button because of my piercing. (Which I have since removed. Sad day.) And I've noticed a couple on the underside of my belly. Those were difficult to see.

It's all worth it. My body is doing the best job it can to create a baby. How cool is that?

Pagan Values Month: What's a Pagan Anyways

2011-06-16T05:27:00.000-05:00

This post is in honor of the Pagan Values Month 2011. I know the topic has been covered more times than necessary (in my opinion, but maybe not) but I'm going to cover it anyways.

The dictionary defines a pagan as: (courtesy of Dictionary.com)

noun

one of a people or community observing a polytheisticreligion, as the ancient Romans and Greeks.

a person who is not a Christian, Jew, or Muslim.

an irreligious or hedonistic person.

Okay, so which one are we talking about here?

For the sake this post, we're taking definition number 1 into account. But to a lot of the Pagan community, Gods or Goddesses aren't the center of their practices.

Onto my opinionated perspective.

Paganism is a religion. Religions are a set of beliefs that center around some kind of higher power or supernatural being. So, to me, Paganism is very close to definition number 1.I don't think that there needs to be a group of Gods or Goddesses for somebody to be Pagan. Somebody can be monotheistic and still be a pagan, even though that is more rare than finding somebody who follows a single (or multiple) pantheon(s).

Since paganism is such a broad umbrella, there isn't one set of values, commandments or code of ethics. Most sects within paganism have some kind of writing that tells people how they should strive to act. (I won't say how they must act, because humans are imperfect, and I'm not going to damn somebody just because they slipped and weren't nice to somebody when they weren't at their best.) A lot (again, I won't say most or all, because from what I've seen those would be false statements) of pagans also adhere to the Wiccan tenet "If it harms none, do what you will." This basically means that you shouldn't hurt any person or thing, including yourself.

So when it comes to ethics, they aren't black-and-white. There are going to be times when they need to be thrown to the side in order to do what needs to be done. I'm not saying this should be done lightly, but sometimes force or coercion need to be utilized to get what you need. The "Harm None" tenet in Wicca, I believe isn't followed by all pagans because a lot of people have realized that it isn't always possible to treat everybody as nice as you possibly can.

To quote one of my favorite movies(yes, I'm a dork): And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules.

Pagan Values Month

2011-06-11T11:25:00.000-05:00

So June is Pagan Values Month apparently. Go figure.

This post over at Witch Mom Blog inspired me to write my own post. Or posts. Not entirely sure just yet. But it's pagan! Feels good to be contemplating spirituality again. I really hope things get moving along those lines soon. I really want to be in tune with the Gods and seasons before this babe is born.

For right now, I think I'm going to stick with what values are. I'm not going to use a dictionary, so this is all my own opinion. That's what a blog is, right?

Values, first and foremost, are beliefs.
When it comes to religious beliefs, they can be broken down into what you believe about God(s)/dess(es) or the lack of. In the case of many pagans, this extends to the practice of magic. But mostly when I think of values, the universal idea of ethics comes to mind.

No matter if you're Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Atheist or Pagan you're going to have some kind of belief in what's right or wrong. Even among groups of peers, moral compasses can vary by many degrees. Every single person on this planet has some view of what is right or wrong and what should be done if things aren't done "right".

Every government that I know of started out with some kind of idea of what people should be doing, and what they shouldn't do, as well as consequences for these actions.

From a Pagan standpoint, a lot of this would fall into the category of magical practice. Ethics in magic are talked about often, but what we don't see enough of is how to act in a mundane sense.

It may be a Christian value, but the golden rule is something I've always believed in. Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you... Or something like that. In plain words, treat others how you would like to be treated. I think this is a very fair ideal, but sadly, a lot of people don't seem to be following it. (A few things regarding breastfeeding in public, or having babies in public (in general) come to mind here, but I can't remember specific stories and I don't have links so I'm going to pass on the examples here. Forgive me.)

After having the Golden Rule for a base, the big thing I try to follow is the Nine Noble Virtues. Courage, Truth, Honor, Fidelity, Discipline, Industriousness, Self-reliance, Perseverance. I know for a fact that I'm not perfect here, but I feel that these are goals to try to achieve.

Maybe I'll do a post to go further in depth with the Noble Nine in the future. It'll be good for me, especially with my changing viewport/status in life.

Not sure where this is going

2011-06-11T01:13:00.000-05:00

I'm not really sure what I'm going to be doing with this blog. I know that I want to keep it up but I'm not sure which direction I'm going to take it. I'd like to post about the pregnancy and baby, but there's not really much going on in that department. I'm getting huge, baby is kicking, I've still got 11 weeks to do what seems like every little thing for the baby.

I want to take pictures, but I don't have anything that (I feel) is worth sharing in picture.

I'm feeling very tied in. I want to get out and be active, but I live in the middle of nowhere near a highway that I'm not going to walk on. (Uh, pregnant, no sidewalks... Not happening.) I can guarantee that I'm not getting enough exercise, but I don't know how to remedy that.

I've been occupying myself with looking for meal ideas and planning that. It's the only thing I feel that I'm in control of right now. I'm looking into gluten free ideas, because I think I might be intolerant. (Not allergic/celiac level.) I've gone a few days here and there and I generally feel more energetic/nourished and my skin is clearer.

I'm having a baby shower. (Don't know when, and I'd feel weird asking my mother-in-law about it so I'm not going to.) That means I can't buy anything for the baby, 'cause I don't know what I'm going to be getting.

Life has been a whole lot of cleaning, but it seems like nothing is getting done. I need to drag the hubs to the Goodwill to drop off some clothes. (Note to self: take some of the t-shirts out of the pile for use as rags.) I can't finish cleaning up the "baby room" until that's done. We have a bunch of boxes that need a home.

I need to find some kind of storage solution for our clothes. Especially the out of season stuff.

I would post the info I've been learning about cloth diapering or breastfeeding, but I don't think that I'm really experienced with it and I'd like to wait on that stuff until the babe's here.

The to-do list keeps getting longer, and I can't seem to get any of it done until later. I'm taking classes until my due date. Classes end right about the time the baby's due, so I know I'm going to be busy as possible. I don't know if continuing classes was the best idea right about now.

Letter to Baby

2011-05-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

I've been wanting to write a letter to the baby for a while, now. I finally found one of my notebooks that I'm going to use as a baby book. I didn't want to use one of the traditional ones because they're mostly centered around hospital births and stuff like that. Ultrasounds (which I doubt I'm getting), vaccinations (which I'm still debating - thinking selective). I do want to do yearly pictures, and a list of "firsts" and stuff, but that seems like such a small part of the commercial baby books.

So currently I've got a hard covered spiral notebook with orchids on it. I've got a single letter to Polli (nickname until it's born... and probably after... short for Polliwog, or "tadpole".) I'll get a picture of me in there soon-ish. I'm planning on keeping track of the baby shower - who gives what, etc. In the mean time, I'm looking up things I want to keep track of once the baby is born.

After This, Therefore Because of This

2011-05-27T14:46:00.000-05:00

A (long) while ago I read the latin quote "post hoc, ergo propter hoc" which means "after this, therefore because of this" and I emailed myself it as a reminder that it had a very significant meaning to me. I was cleaning out my inbox for the first time in what seems like forever when I came across the email and it inspired me to write. I'm still having trouble adjusting back to blogging after so long away.

Anyways, I remember the quote being from one of the mama/birth blogs I read, but I don't remember which one and I didn't leave a note about it. In the context it was used, the lady said that a lot of people put the blame on doctors, epidurals and the like when they end up with a cesarean. While I can definitely agree to an extent, these procedures have their place and when used properly by a woman who is well-informed, they can be beneficial.

Personally, I am avoiding the hospital and induction or medical manipulation because of the research I have done on the topic and I feel that it is what is best for me and my babe. A lot of that is because of how I feel the Post Hoc, Ergo Propter Hoc would come into play in that situation.

Now that I've done a bit of rambling, I want to go on about how this can be looked at from a pagan perspective. (Pagan blogging again! A miracle!) When we're practicing magic or what-have-you how often do we genuinely have faith that outcomes were because of spells or prayers or ritual?

Don't get me wrong, this isn't going to be my doubting the effects of magic, as I've seen them first-hand. But what I'm wondering is how much is because of the magical push and how much is mundane effort?

When I was in high school, I had this little charm where I'd write/silently chant a small spell and draw a clock with a certain time on it when classes seemed to be dragging on forever. I did this often and usually it worked pretty well to make the time pass a bit faster. Now, it didn't really change the speed of time, just my perception. But we all know that focusing on something can make time seem to go by faster. Einstein and his theory of relativity.

Everything effects everything else to an extent. Everybody's at least a bit familiar with this idea, especially if they've seen The Butterfly Effect. How much is magic responsible for what we experience in our day-to-day? How would you be able to test this when you can't remake the same scenario twice?

Would you have still gotten that job without carrying your lucky stone in your pocket and that satchel of herbs in your purse?
Would you still have the motivation to lose weight if you didn't do that spell to help keep you on the right track?
How much is that protection charm really helping you?

Just some things to wonder about. Granted, I'm still going to say a prayer and draw a rune on the door handle when I'm in the car and don't like the way people are driving around me. But how much of that is just to help keep me calm in the situation?

Blogger

2011-05-27T00:04:00.002-05:00

I've been having issues with blogger not letting me log in lately. (Though I can still use other Google resources.)

From what I understand this isn't happening to just me. I'm debating looking into wordpress, or another blogging platform.