between the shelves

The Last Ringbearer

2011-02-24T13:36:00.000-08:00

There are a few nagging questions from the Lord of the Rings trilogy, such as: why didn't Gandalf just get a giant eagle to dump Frodo in the volcano? But not many people--unlike in the real world--ask the question, what really happened during the war?

Kirill Yeskov's The Last Ringbearer does just that. Much like how Tolkien's original series was really just an excuse for him to get his linguistic jollies off inventing two dialects of Elvish, Yeskov's book is a product of him being interested in recreating old things (or as they say in Latin, paleontology) and him being Russian.

The less offensive thing first. In the book, Yeskov essentially takes the saying, "History is written by the victors," and throws it at the story of Lord of the Rings. In his mind, the reason why Gandalf and Aragorn are portrayed as heroes is because their side recorded it that way ... and why they're played by Sir Ian Mckellen and Viggo Mortenson, and not Jack Black and Michael Cera. So he re-frames the narrative: in The Last Ringbearer, Orcs and Trolls are normal-looking people who were the victims of a an Elf & Wizard-led genocide; Gandalf was a collaborator who sold out the race of Men to the Elves; Aragorn is a pirate with a spy-network (less Jack Sparrow hijinks and [presumably] more raping and pillaging) who led a military coup that overthrew the government of Gondor; and the whole quest surrounding the One Ring was just a diversion that Gandalf and his hillbilly hobbits fell for.

The reason why there weren't any *spoiler* tags around that paragraph is because that's not the story in The Last Ringbearer. The real story is about what happens after that, and this is where Yeskov being Russian seems to figure in. The majority of the book plays out like an Spy vs Spy cartoon--it's probably what a pimply-faced Dungeons and Dragons-playing Ian Fleming would have written as a Lord of the Rings fan-fic. It's as if Middle Earth got plunged into a Cold War, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, except that it's obvious that Yeskov loves writing spy fictions more than he likes resolving the story.

In the end, I'm kind of lukewarm about the book on it's own merits. It's an interesting spin on a familiar story ... and that's probably the best thing it has going for it.

If you're still interested in reading The Last Ringbearer, here's the pdf.

All-Star Superman

2011-02-24T01:20:00.000-08:00

Not "All-Star Superman"

This is not a picture of "All-Star Superman." I don't write this in a René Magritte-sort of way. This is a picture of a Mattel DC Universe Classics action figure based on the long-haired Superman from the 90's; this is the Superman who was brought back to life after his fight with Doomsday; this is the Superman who set off the current practice of killing and resurrecting characters on a whim (a.k.a. to sell comic books) ... and so this is the perfect picture for a piece on "All-Star Superman."

The direct-to-video "All-Star Superman" is an animated adaptation of Grant Morrison's acclaimed 12-issue comic book series. No spoilers here--that's as much as I'm going to write about the plot of the film. A retelling of the plot isn't necessary to write what a marvelous film this is. That's a bit strange, because the story is a large part of what makes "All-Star Superman" such an epic; I finished watching the film thinking, now that's how you tell a Superman story! Yet in hindsight, it's not as much the content of the plot itself--most of the film was like a collection of vignettes, so much of the plot itself could be moved around/switched out with parts of the book that didn't make it into the movie--but rather how it was told, that made the film what it is.

The most beautiful scene in the movie is the scene in which [a character] experiences [his] moment of epiphany. The pacing throughout that scene is done so wonderfully, taking the time to breathe throughout the denouement, instead of rushing through just because the action is over. "All-Star Superman" is simply tremendous, to the point where appending "animated" to "film" almost seems to do it a disservice. That's not meant as a slight to animation, but to the people who wouldn't watch this film just because it's animated. "All-Star Superman" is simply the best Superman film that has ever been made.

I grew up with the long-haired Superman so in my mind this is what Superman looks like, in the same way that Batman looks like Michael Keaton wearing black eye-makeup. Yet Batman will always sound like Kevin Conroy, and Superman will always be "All-Star Superman."

Shiny!

2011-02-18T17:53:00.000-08:00

Bumblebee. A few words that come to mind to describe Bumblebee: yellow, kid-friendly, small (also accepted: runty, shrimpy, or any variations thereof). But the first word that comes into my mind for this particular Bumblebee is: shiny! Just look at all that gold chrome. If I were Lil' John, I'd be tempted to stick this toy on my teeth.

This is precisely the reason why I am writing about twenty-year old toy. If leprechauns gave their little, bearded leprechaun-children toys for Christmas, this toy would found be underneath their little leprechaun trees. It would be too easy to write this toy off as a one-trick-pony, copy & paste "shiny!" a hundred times, and click "publish post." But then we would be ignoring all the other little details that add to how brilliant this Bumblebee is.

For instance: the tires are genuine rubber; they molded a little (chromed!) exhaust pipe when it wouldn't have been missed; a sticker on the back gives this Bug a Batmobile-esque exhaust for the jet turbine that Volkswagen removed from Hitler's original designs. And that's just the vehicle mode.

The robot mode is simple, and is simple to transform into, but that's not necessarily a bad thing--I'd say it's a very elegant design. You not only see where everything goes from vehicle mode to robot mode, but how they got there as well. It's intuitive. And unlike some modern transformers, you don't have to sacrifice your firstborn to get it from one mode to the other either.

Then there are the things to appreciate in the robot mode: the little molded fists, the detailing on the legs, and the face mask that's almost too-cool for a robot that transforms into a VW Beetle--it may not be "accurate" but it's certainly more interesting than the pudgy visage on his cartoon-self.

Yet at the end of the day, the advances made in toy-technology over the past twenty years have created just too large of a gap for anyone to truthfully say this Bumblebee is better than the figures that have come after him. Yes, there's a charm and elegance to its simplicity in and of itself, but it comes across as being outdated when its put next to any other Transformer engineered within the last five years. And when you do that, it also becomes quite evident that this Bumblebee is not only small, it is the midget at a gigantism convention.

So here's the question: is it necessary to run to eBay to buy a G2 Bumblebee?

Maybe not.

But I do have to say, he is very shiny.


Only a little disappointed it doesn't say "ANDY"