Beulah's Insights

Hello Again!

2010-11-05T17:08:00.000-05:00

Been away too long. Why? Of course. I had my baby on August 13! Her name is Ciara (pr. KEY-ra, i.e., Keira Knightly). My husband and I used the Gaelic spelling. You guessed it. People are mispronouncing it in The States, yet in Ireland it is the third most popular name. More about Ciara later. She's asleep and will be awake any moment. I want to give my little one her proper due with pictures and stories.

In the meantime, I am including a trailer to the film Vision, which is about Hildegard Von Bingen. It opens today in Chicago at the Music Box Theatre. Will have to wait to see it until the DVD is released. Hildegard, like my patron saint Teresa of Avila, was an amazing woman.

BP Spills Coffee

2010-06-19T10:26:00.002-05:00

"Nothing Really Matters" by Madonna

2010-06-01T10:53:00.003-05:00

A message to BP, the Obama Administration, and Those Who Believe Life Thrives on Destruction Instead of Creation.

2010-05-30T13:12:00.001-05:00

Erica Jong on The Pill's 50th Anniversary and the Lack of Support for Child Care. Need to Know's (PBS's WNET) Premiere Episode

2010-05-10T19:19:00.000-05:00

The Time Traveler's Wife and The Golden Notebook

2010-05-05T16:30:00.008-05:00

Now you may be asking yourself: what connection could there possibly be between Audrey Niffenegger 's The Time Traveler's Wife and Doris Lessing 's The Golden Notebook ?

Today I read the section in TGN where Anna Wulf is contacted by a television producer who wants to adapt her novel Frontiers of War into a play for television. Anna refuses and tells the producer Reginald "call me Reggie" Tarbrucke, ". . . [T]here are very few plays I see on television which encourage me to write for that medium . . . If I believed Frontiers of War could be adapted for television in a way which would satisfy me, my attitude would different" (270).

Nonetheless, Tarbruck persists, and Anna reluctantly meets with him for lunch. As she guessed, Tarbruck, while he says "[he] was immediately struck by [Frontiers of War's] freshness and sincerity" believes the core story of the novel to be the love story and not a commentary on war and the conflict between the black and white races on the African continent (269-270). Anna then quips she sees the play as a comedy (which the novel is not) and tells Mr. Tarbruck her ideas for the script. Tarbruck then rescinds his initial offer.

As I read this section, I immediately thought of the film adapatation of The Time Traveler's Wife. Like the other readers, I adored the novel and felt excited about the film adaptation. The novel chronicles Henry's and Claire's courtship and marriage and the difficulties both face from it because of his chrono-displacement gene. It spends much time developing the characters, major and minor, and the original story itself is deep, dramatic, funny, dark, and haunting. The novel's ending was perfect. I felt for Henry and especially Claire. However, I heard from a good source that the film adapatation was a sore spot for Audrey. As a courtesy, the film company showed her the script, and Audrey, according to my source, spent time "fixing the inane dialogue." I was also told the script reduced the film to "I wuv you Cware. I wuv you Henwy." My stomach sunk though past book adapations onto film have gone this same way.

Shortly before the film's release, Rachel McAdams, who played Claire in the film, said only the love story was focused and the additional, larger issues Audrey addressed in the book were only touched on or jettisoned. Then I read the ending was changed.

Bill and I saw the film, more out of curiosity as is the human instinct to slow down during a car wreck. While some element of the book were kept, overall it destroyed what Audrey had created. All that was focused on was the love story, and even those elements, Claire's multiple miscarriages, the suicide of Henry's former girlfriend, the wedding taking place in a church, were butchered or neutered. And don't get me started on the new ending.

As Tartrufe tells Anna, "It's a simple medium. And the audience--well I don't have to tell you, it's not the most intellient audience" (275). Oh how that applies to film adaptations and especially the adaptation of The Time Traveler's Wife. Television and film all to often appeal to the lowest common denominator at the expense of the artist's original vision. There have been very few films that remain true to the author's book. That is when the almighty dollar serves as the muse. Well, as I predicted, Audrey's fans were smarter than the audience the producers were vying to grab and the movie tanked in both critical and financial response. I am not sure how the DVD sales are currently going, but I think many would prefer to wait until it appears on cable.

My friend Tatiana de Rosnay 's novel Sarah's Key just finished filming. She said she, like Audrey, was offered the script as a courtesy to read. Unlike Audrey, Tatiana is happy with it. It stars Kristin Scott Thomas as Julia Jarmond. We will see if the final cut reflects Tatiana's vision. I do hope so.

Knocked Up Week 24: A Visit to Northwestern MS Clinic

2010-05-05T15:47:00.000-05:00

Today I visited my neurologist, Bruce Cohen , at Northwestern Medical Faculty Foundation's MS Clinic . I am pleased to report that not only is my MS stable but that I have made improvement in regards to my mobility and dexterity. After I talk my walking test, I do a "peg test" where I insert small wooden pegs into the holes of a wooden cube. My times for both improved by ten seconds. Pregnancy often helps improve the health of women who live with MS. These past few months I have felt extremely well -- almost back to my pre-diagnosis days.

However, in the three months after la bimba's birth, I have a 30 to 50% chance of a relapse and complications because of the shift in hormones. I have been staying active throughout my pregnancy (my next prenatal yoga class starts this Saturday) and eating healthy, but biology and my immune system will have other ideas. Dr. Cohen did mention to me months ago that there have been some studies showing that breastfeeding has proved not only beneficial for the child but also for the mother who lives with MS. I do plan to breastfeed.

Still, Dr. Cohen mentioned possibly starting me on IV steroids after I give birth. They would be given to me while I am still in the hospital. There is debate among pediatricans about steriods and nursing. Dr. Cohen told me some are fine with it and some advise against it. I plan on contacting my pediatrician later this week to find out his views.

Right now, I am leaning toward foregoing the steriods in the early days and weeks; I want the baby to receive breast milk free of chemicals -- regardless whether Dr. Sagan is fine with it or against it. It is a fine balance. I know I am no longer number one, but if I cannot physically care for my baby, what is the trade off? Yet my baby will be healthier via breast milk versus formula. The saga continues . . . .

Knocked Up Week 24: Getting in Touch with My Inner Goddess and Bitch

2010-04-30T19:28:00.000-05:00

This week marks week 24 of my pregnancy. To keep my family and friends who reside outside Chicago (though those inside the city limits are welcome to read this as well), beyond the state of Illinois, and across the pond of my pregnancy's progress.

So far so good. On May 11, Maternal Fetal Medicine at Northwestern Medical Faculty Foundation will have me under go a glucose test for gestational diabetes. A woman from my prenatal yoga group said it tastes like Orange Crush . Luckily, I love Orange Crush the drink and "Orange Crush" the song by R.E.M. -- my favorite band. Maybe it won't be too bad of an experience. Even before pregnancy I ate healthy and exercised. Even though my exercise has changed, I remain active: prenatal yoga, prenatal pilates, lots of walking, strength training my arms with five-pound weights, and swimming at the Ray Meyer Fitness Center . Had hummus with pita chips for a snack today in addition to drinking water and milk. Prenancy has not been a drastic sea change in terms of my diet and fitness regimen. As an MSer, I have no choice but to live a healthy lifestyle. While I cannot be on my MS meds right now, living healthy has proved as beneficial as the increase in progesterone that has helped keep my MS stable.

Now you may be wondering what the deal is with the Bea Arthur picture from her Maude days above my text. Last week I finished my prenatal yoga class at Sweet Pea's Studio . My instructor, Jennifer Barron Fishman , often referred to the warrior pose as the "goddess pose." In addition to yoga, she provided informtion regarding doulas, breastfeeding, identity, essential oils (she went around to students and had us sniff different ones), childbirth, and post-partum recovery. For post partum recovery she advocated, like the pediatrician Bill and I have chosen--Andy Sagan , being a queen during the first weeks and months following delivery. Maude is the perfect symbol for embracing one's inner goddess, who I also like to refer to as an "inner bitch." Do you know mythology? Some goddesses have been nuclear bitches?

Having lived with MS for over ten years, embracing my inner bitch has become easier. Women need to take a proactive role in their health care. I know women's health is not taken as seriously as it should be by some doctors. And with a baby now in my life, my inner goddess/bitch needs to come out more than ever.

Another area Jenny discussed was everyone not being shy nor embarassed about embracing our primal side during childbirth. She also mentioned that feminists (though some still look at having a baby equal to injesting hemlock) are now believing motherhood is an extremely feminist life choice. Unfortunately, there are some feminists and American politicians who look at child care and motherhood negatively. When a Canadian woman in my prenatal yoga class mentioned that the Canadian government allows post-partum women to take a year of paid leave, I knew feminists and women in general need to do a better job of embracing their inner godddess/bitch. What is sad is that I don't believe some feminists or women in general know that amongst her feminist platforms, Betty Friedan advocated for better child care and treatment of women's health. Friedan, after all, in addition to being a feminist who wrote The Feminine Mystique and started the National Organization for Women (NOW) , was a mother herself.

"Not Even in South Park? " by The New York Times's Ross Douthat

2010-04-26T19:20:00.001-05:00

Two months before 9/11, Comedy Central aired an episode of “South Park” entitled “Super Best Friends,” in which the cartoon show’s foul-mouthed urchins sought assistance from an unusual team of superheroes. These particular superfriends were all religious figures: Jesus, Krishna, Buddha, Mormonism’s Joseph Smith, Taoism’s Lao-tse — and the Prophet Muhammad, depicted with a turban and a 5 o’clock shadow, and introduced as “the Muslim prophet with the powers of flame.”

That was a more permissive time. You can’t portray Muhammad on American television anymore, as South Park’s creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, discovered in 2006, when they tried to parody the Danish cartoon controversy — in which unflattering caricatures of the prophet prompted worldwide riots — by scripting another animated appearance for Muhammad. The episode aired, but the cameo itself was blacked out, replaced by an announcement that Comedy Central had refused to show an image of the prophet.

For Parker and Stone, the obvious next step was to make fun of the fact that you can’t broadcast an image of Muhammad. Two weeks ago, “South Park” brought back the “super best friends,” but this time Muhammad never showed his face. He “appeared” from inside a U-Haul trailer, and then from inside a mascot’s costume.

These gimmicks then prompted a writer for the New York-based Web site revolutionmuslim.com to predict that Parker and Stone would end up like Theo van Gogh, the Dutch filmmaker murdered in 2004 for his scathing critiques of Islam. The writer, an American convert to Islam named Abu Talhah Al-Amrikee, didn’t technically threaten to kill them himself. His post, and the accompanying photo of van Gogh’s corpse, was just “a warning ... of what will likely happen to them.”

This passive-aggressive death threat provoked a swift response from Comedy Central. In last week’s follow-up episode, the prophet’s non-appearance appearances were censored, and every single reference to Muhammad was bleeped out. The historical record was quickly scrubbed as well: The original “Super Best Friends” episode is no longer available on the Internet.

In a way, the muzzling of “South Park” is no more disquieting than any other example of Western institutions’ cowering before the threat of Islamist violence. It’s no worse than the German opera house that temporarily suspended performances of Mozart’s opera “Idomeneo” because it included a scene featuring Muhammad’s severed head. Or Random House’s decision to cancel the publication of a novel about the prophet’s third wife. Or Yale University Press’s refusal to publish the controversial Danish cartoons ... in a book about the Danish cartoon crisis. Or the fact that various Western journalists, intellectuals and politicians — the list includes Oriana Fallaci in Italy, Michel Houellebecq in France, Mark Steyn in Canada and Geert Wilders in the Netherlands — have been hauled before courts and “human rights” tribunals, in supposedly liberal societies, for daring to give offense to Islam.

But there’s still a sense in which the “South Park” case is particularly illuminating. Not because it tells us anything new about the lines that writers and entertainers suddenly aren’t allowed to cross. But because it’s a reminder that Islam is just about the only place where we draw any lines at all.

Across 14 on-air years, there’s no icon “South Park” hasn’t trampled, no vein of shock-comedy (sexual, scatalogical, blasphemous) it hasn’t mined. In a less jaded era, its creators would have been the rightful heirs of Oscar Wilde or Lenny Bruce — taking frequent risks to fillet the culture’s sacred cows.

In ours, though, even Parker’s and Stone’s wildest outrages often just blur into the scenery. In a country where the latest hit movie, “Kick-Ass,” features an 11-year-old girl spitting obscenities and gutting bad guys while dressed in pedophile-bait outfits, there isn’t much room for real transgression. Our culture has few taboos that can’t be violated, and our establishment has largely given up on setting standards in the first place.

Except where Islam is concerned. There, the standards are established under threat of violence, and accepted out of a mix of self-preservation and self-loathing.

This is what decadence looks like: a frantic coarseness that “bravely” trashes its own values and traditions, and then knuckles under swiftly to totalitarianism and brute force.

Happily, today’s would-be totalitarians are probably too marginal to take full advantage. This isn’t Weimar Germany, and Islam’s radical fringe is still a fringe, rather than an existential enemy.

For that, we should be grateful. Because if a violent fringe is capable of inspiring so much cowardice and self-censorship, it suggests that there’s enough rot in our institutions that a stronger foe might be able to bring them crashing down.

The Daily Show and John Hodgman's Recommdendations for Stopping Pedophilia in the Catholic Church

2010-04-16T12:16:00.003-05:00

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-april-14-2010/you-re-welcome---church-scandal-prevention

The Daily Show and John Hodgman's Recommdendations for Stopping Pedophilia in the Catholic Church

2010-04-16T12:15:00.001-05:00

Doris Lessing's The Golden Notebook

2010-04-12T17:53:00.001-05:00

I learned about The Golden Notebook by Doris Lessing when I was nineteen after I read Erica Jong's Fear of Flying. Jong is my favorite writer and poet, and her work and life have inspired me throughout the past nineteen years. I aspire to be like her in my writing and life -- fearless!

So why did it take me this long to read The Golden Notebook? I have started to read it all the way through and am blown away by Lessing's prose and the story's complexity. However, I did pick it up months after I finished Fear of Flying but put it down. I have picked it up at various times but for one reason or another I did not finish it.

But now I am reading it voraciously. Why did it take me so long? Perhaps I wasn't ready for Lessing's masterpiece at nineteen or in my early twenties, mid-twenties, or early thirties. Perhaps I needed maturity and time to grow as a writer and a person. Jong's life is different than mine as well as her childhood, adolescence, and college experience. We come from different experiences. I can't be too hard on myself. Or should I be? I have read and heard interviews from people who say that sometimes they were not ready for a book at a certain age or periods in their lives. Has anyone else ever had this experience or read The Golden Notebook?

Literacy Begins at Home and During Childhood

2010-04-08T08:48:00.001-05:00

I never thought I would follow a web site by Gwenyth Paltrow (though I do respect her as an actress), but a friend of mine encouraged me to check out Goop.com . I did and was impressed. Now I receive updates from her postings. Today's was about reading to children.

While in my neighborhood I do see children playing in the park across from my condo, it seems most children these days do not play and prefer staying inside to watch television, play video games, and sit at the computer. Bad enough they are not getting exercise, but they are not reading, which is a bigger tragedy.

Having taught college-level freshman composition for the past eleven years, I am sad to say that it is a minority of my students who are bookworms. Yet in my Anne Sexton seminar this past winter quarter, I felt I was in paradise because the majority of my students were readers, writers, and/or English majors. Instilling a love of reading is the greatest gift a parent can bestow on a child. Even if a child does not become involved in the literary arts, reading has such power in our lives. It stretches our critical-thinking skills as well as our imaginations and knowledge.

My fondest memories are of my grandmother reading to me and my father and godmother offering me books during my birthdays, holidays, and sometimes just because. Even in childhood my room was filled with books.

Bill and I want our babe's room and childhood filled with books and music. Our baby registries feature books and CDs. We also know that babies and young children are ripe for learning a foreign language. The first one I plan to share with the babe after she arrives in August is Italian. I am by no means fluent, but it will expose her to a language outside of English and help her when she is exposed to other foreign languages later on. Neurons are making connections in infancy and early childhood, these connections need constant stimulation.

Parents and society needs to encourage literacy before kindergarten and keep encouraging it throughout childhood and the teen years. The foundation is invaluable. But even I can admit that while I love to read, my spelling in English still remains terrible.

The Daily Show on the Catholic Church's Failure with Pedophilia Cases

2010-04-08T08:02:00.001-05:00

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-april-7-2010/pope-opera

Sinead O'Connor on Child Abuse and on the Catholic Church Pedophilia Scandal

2010-04-06T14:21:00.001-05:00

The woman can sing and is a genius. She was given hell in the Nineties for calling the Catholic Church out on how she did and did not handle pedophila cases even though it seemed no one fully understood why she spoke out against the Church and later ripped up a picture of the pope.

A victim of child abuse herself, O'Connor is now a Cathlolic priest herself in a schismatic offshoot the the traditional Church.

Rereading Beloved

2010-04-05T19:25:00.000-05:00

At Harold Washington Library a few weeks ago and looking for a new book to read. The one I wanted was checked out. As I headed to the desk to request for it to be transfered to my branch library once it arrived, I passed the fiction section housing Toni Morrison's novel Beloved caught my eye again. I had read it twice before, but like baby ghost, it haunted me. I checked it out while I waited for my latest book to arrive.

Each time I read Beloved, Morrison's prose style and narrative structure awes me. The first novel of hers I read was The Bluest Eye, and the main term my classmates and I used to describe her writing was "poetic." Beloved takes the poetry in her prose a step further.

Beloved is not a linear novel, and when one reads it, one has to carefully read it to keep track of all the shifts in time, yet Morrison does this so fluidly none of it is jarring. Her dialogue and description are memorable: thin love is not worth the same as thick love; the baby ghost hurling HereBoy with such force across 124 to the point where Sethe has to push his eye back into his head. Good writing is loaded not just with good storytelling but solid and vivid imagery and insight.

Though I am of Western European descent and can never fully understand the African American experience, Morrison is such a remarkable writer that I feel Sethe's, Denver's, Paul D's, Baby Suggs, and Beloved's pain and want; I cry each time. For a mother to choose killing her children over returning them to life of slavery is a choice not many want to understand but it is one ripe with truth.

A Question of Balance: Artists and Writers on Motherhood

2010-04-02T08:21:00.001-05:00

Sorry I have not posted in a while. Of course life is hectic right now, and I know it will become even more hectic after "la bimba" arrives in August. Luckily, a number of years ago I learned of a book that I gave to my friend Eileen Favorite after she had her first baby.

A Question of Balanace: Artists and Writers on Motherhood compiles interviews and features of various women artists and writers, such as Rita Dove, Mary Gordon, Sarah Charlesworth, Linda Vallejo, Rosellen Brown (one of my former SAIC advisors), and Dorothy Allison.

In each feature, the artists, literary and visual, recount their creative life before having a baby and afterward. Though they all talked about sleep deprivation and the demands of raising a child or children, they also encouraged female artists to have a baby if that is what they want. Many of them remarked how having a baby pushed their art forward. The key is balance and respecting your time for creation as well as your child's time for healthy development. Bill and I have talked of teaching our daughter that when Mama is writing she is not to be disturbed unless it is an emergency. We hope this will teach her to respect her own time for work as well.

This book is a must-read for any artist who had children or is thinking of having children. The book was written by Judith Pierce Rosenberg. While it is out of print, copies can be purchased through used book stores.

Erica Jong Wants to Post My Essays on Her Web Site!

2010-03-09T11:25:00.001-06:00

I just received an e-mail from Erica Jong's assistant. She wanted my permission to post the essays I wrote about Fear of Flying and Fanny from Facts on File's Companion to the American Novel to her web site (ericajong.com).

I have been a fan and admirer of Erica's work since I was nineteen. This is beyond anything I ever imagined! I am honored and humbled. And ready to cry out of joy.

Updated my web page.

2010-03-05T15:54:00.001-06:00

Started updating my web page: essays from Facts on File and Time magazine articles now available for your reading pleasure. Go to lauradurnell.com to read my work. More to come.

Teach Your Children to Question

2010-03-04T19:21:00.002-06:00

More wisdom from Carlin.

George Carlin on Child Worship

2010-03-04T19:09:00.008-06:00

Yeah, I'm knocked up, but I totally agree with him. I love George Carlin. R.I.P. He had a daughter, so I think he knows of what he rants.

Cleaning the Temple

2010-03-04T18:37:00.002-06:00

Since the holiday season, my home office has slowly become a disaster. First I had a horrid sinus infection and then around two weeks later I learned I was pregant. A few weeks after the first-trimester nausea entered, I still needed to prepare for my Winter classes at DePaul. While I was dealing with school and my pregnancy, my poor home office was neglected.

I am in the midst of "cleaning the temple." It is a Buddhist belief I learned about from the Mary Morris interview and profile in A Question of Balance: Artists and Writers on Motherhood. Morris states, "A lot of what I'm doing as a writer is taking a chaos of emotions tht I've lived with all my life and trying to make sense of it. I have to create outer order in order to deal with inner disorder."

Right now my home office (the sunroom in my husband's and my condo) is filled with my drafts, books, and student work that I still have from the Fall quarter. I do feel a little claustrophobic writing this.

My last week teaching at DePaul is next week. I still have some student assignment to issue comments on, but bird by bird, I will again make this place a good creative work environment.

Working on Student Papers (sigh)

2010-02-27T12:37:00.004-06:00

Unless an artist is independently wealthy; has a trust fund; or strikes it big like Stephen King, Erica Jong, or Philip Roth; a day job is a necessity.

Today I will be reading the last of my students essays to provide comments and guidance; however, I will be breaking them up into manageable numbers under a deadline. Here's to writing later tonight.

Prayers and/or good thoughts to the Chilean people.

Fractured Atlas's Blog Post about My Work and Me.

2010-02-27T12:22:00.002-06:00

http://www.fracturedatlas.org/site/blog/2010/02/26/if-you-dont-risk-anything-you-risk-even-more-writer-laura-durnell/

I Am Back

2010-02-27T12:18:00.003-06:00

As you can notice, I haven't posted to this blog for a couple of years. However, because of Fractured Atlas's blog post about my work and me, I plan to post on a frequent basis.

I look forward to hearing from you.