Beverly's Secret - Promise to Share

The day I woke up losing my grandpa forever...

2020-11-19T01:03:00.001-08:00

** This post was drafted on Sept 15, 2020 **

Hey guys,

How's everyone hanging in there? I'm so happy for my friends and families that are currently living their lives to the fullest in Malaysia and Taiwan. I'm genuinely happy for you all, please keep posting all the fun pictures on social media, the foods, the long-overdue vacation, the reunion, the celebration of all kind... Seeing all the joyful faces gives me hope, that one day when this fight is over, I'll be able to do all the fun things again too!

It had been a very rough two weeks for me. But I'm gradually putting myself together and able to function again...

This pandemic wasn't being kind to me at all. I thought losing my good friend in March was the hardest pill to swallow until I woke up one day finding my grandpa's gone forever. I can't comprehend which one was the hardest one, I just felt that my heart was so sore that it couldn't contain a single ounce of pain anymore.

It was painful. Knowing that I won't be able to hang out with them anymore when I'm allowed to travel back home again...

It felt so surreal. I woke up the next day wondering if all these were just a nightmare as if there's a reset button for 2020. Of course not, 2020 is probably the hell year on earth. Ok, probably not, who knows, we might not reach rock bottom yet.

I slept in for a week, reluctant to get out of my bed. It hurt so bad and I almost can't breathe, but life goes on, life must go on. So does grieving. During the whole week that I was sleeping in, I watched endless comedies and shows but found myself sobbing in tears.

Then one day, it was last Wednesday to be precise, all San Franciscans woke up with an apocalyptic orange sky. The sun has given up, too. The sky was still dark with a sepia filter at 2pm. During the lunch break on zoom-schooling, Chloe gently asked, "Mommy, is it lunchtime yet? I can't really tell because the sky is still dark." Then my 3.5y/o baby Summer was feeling confused, anxious, and uncomfortable that Mr. Sun was hiding the whole day, she was fussy and cried for 3 hours.

I didn't blame them. Deep down inside, I was crying uncontrollably too.

"If this is the last day of my life, I don't want to end up dying here! Not San Francisco, I want to be closed to my family." I mean, I want my family to be closed to my family in Malaysia. That was the last straw for me, I was literally done with everything here in the glorious United States, you are too good for me. I'm D.O.N.E.

My heart sunk. All I wanted to do was to pack my bag, hop on a plane and so long farewell...

Guess what, on that same orange Wednesday, we scheduled to temporarily move out from our home and stayed at a tiny Airbnb due to a leaking ceiling in the living room. We are back home now, the constructors did a good job, everything went well according to plan. But that particular Wednesday made me look at my life differently.

Although I wanted to escape this life in San Francisco so badly, I understand that it wasn't the circumstances or current situations that push me to make such a decision... It's because I have so much emotional baggage yet having zero outlets to relieve grief, loss, and sadness. I lost the strength to move forward and I hate that part of myself :(

It's so (*&^%$&*(&^%$#%^&* hard...

I want to take time to heal and be happy again. I just need some room to breathe, to relax, and to feel what I need to feel... Knowing the fact that all these emotions will eventually go away is such a huge reassurance. If you are going through a difficult and challenging phase in life, I hope this post will be an encouraging one. Don't be too harsh on yourself, pamper yourself with some of your fave pick-me-ups, pace yourself because life is a marathon, not a sprint.

As for myself, I want to give myself a pat on my shoulder. Take your own sweet time to piece your life back together.

#1

#2

See you guys again, hopefully very soon! For now, I shall take some time off to miss the wonderful people that had positively impacted my life and colored it with beautiful memories. I know that I will come back stronger, for sure.

XOXO,
Bev
(Written on Sept 15, 2020, revised 2 months after, lol. Stay tuned for Part 2)

How Not To Lose Your SHXT During Pandemic

2020-07-27T02:05:00.001-07:00

Hey there,

Ahem... Pardon my language, lol. Last week was hxll to me, it was a huge emotional hurdle that I had to overcome and I'm so glad I did. And I'm so proud of myself. Nothing is more important than picking yourself up during gloomy days.

Five months plus into this global pandemic and the uncertainties still remain uncertain. If you read the news, you probably already know how poorly the USA did in terms of battling this virus during this unprecedented time. Each time I read the news, I'm floored by the leadership of this country, I'm sure you know I'm being sarcastic of course.

Ok. No more complaining. Albeit poor leadership, life still goes on, we still have to be resilient and be diligent.

#1 The silver lining of the global pandemic that we all human race are going through now is probably written in this picture. Yup, being able to smile under that dang mask. Not only do I unlock that skill, I freaking master it ok.😷😷😷

Pandemic is not a joke, so is the more-than-five-months social distancing and isolation. Remember I shared about setting up daily mini-goals? I'm still practicing that every day and doing that helps me stay focused and feels accomplished while being productive. Small steps make a huge difference. Keep fighting!

Without further ado, below are my to-do list for this week.

1. 10-min stretching daily.
Trust me, your body will thank you. If you manage to dedicate more time to exercise, go for it! Do yourself a favor. Somehow it's hard for me to workout during the day, Summer will jump on me and Chloe will distract me, so 10 minutes it is. I'm not going to kill myself or pressure myself.

2. Being outside every day.
We go outside every freaking day, be it in our backyard or in the woods. Vitamin D has a magic spell if you have yet to discover, make sure you absorb enough Vit D under the sun. Also, it is technically Summer now in the U.S., but unfortunately, San Francisco is famous for its Summer fog, duh... Summer is a state of mind anyway. Wear a mask, stay away from the crowded area, and always, always be precautions.

3. Having a stimulating conversation with a trusted friend or partner.
Ok, this probably only applies to me. Not sure what does a stimulating conversation looks like you but my definition of a stimulation conversation is this: Deep talk and real thought from heart between two or more individuals.

My soul screams for that. Thank God for hearing my need before I even recognizing it. A friend of mine called me last week and just talking to her lifting my spirit. What is more comforting than hearing my oldest friend, a graceful and elegant 93 years old lady, generously spilling wisdom and sharing her life stories. It is so beautiful and it makes me miss my grandpa so much, which indirectly motivates me to keep moving forward! 山穷水尽疑无路，柳暗花明又一村。

#2 Hang in there!!! No matter what situation you are in now. Remember that kids ❤️❤️❤️

4. Nurse your big feelings.
It's important to take a break, be it a mental break or a physical break when your mind or your body signals you to. I've learned to listen to my mind and body by working along with it. I used to sweep it under the mat or overlooked my spiritual needs when my daily schedule was swamped with chores and errands. Now I'm able to recognize my big feelings, validates them, and ride with them. It feels as if I acquired the superpower to learn the rhythms of the waves and seeing it washing up the shore in slow-mo before it hit the beach. 你懂的。

5. Invest in cute loungewear.
Hahaha... It's true. That's how I thrive. It is an ultimate secret that requires another blog post, agree? I love cute loungewear and already had a drawerful of them sitting in my closet but this pandemic gives me more solid reasons to splurge ok. No husband will disagree.

Thank you for sticking around still and still reading my lengthy post up till this second...

Here are some pictures of our family outing this weekend:

#3 It sure feels like paradise here in San Francisco, except the foggy weather.

#4 The geese.

#5 The kids following the geese. It rhymes ok.

#6 My babies in masks. And each time when I see other human being that are not wearing da mask in the public makes my blood boils X&*^%$X#%^&*(^%$#X@%^&*^%$#@Y%^&*^%$ZZ#%^

#7 Summer and pandemic. And each time when I see irresponsible and brainless people not wearing masks, my heart goes X&*^%$X#%^&*(^%$#X@%^&*^%$#@Y%^&*^%$ZZ#%^

#8 Measuring her height.

#9 Too cute not to post.

#10 Chloe, "Ma, take a pic of me please!" Ya, she calls me "Ma" now, God knows why. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

#11 Mommy's purse = My toy.

#12 My koala baby taking a break in the tree.

#13 Mama Bev trying to conduct a 3-min lecture about birds' feather in her outdoor classroom.

That pretty much sums up my week, thank you guys for sticking around.

Every week is a new reflection on my life, one day at a time. May the best version of ourselves not only surviving but living, not only living but thriving.

Love you guys 😘😘😘

Ugh, tomorrow is Monday again,
Bev

Snow Cones, Shaved Ice or Whatever Lah

2020-07-10T03:05:00.001-07:00

Hi there,

First off, hang in there, almost TGIF.

How's your week been going? Mine was... meh, it's ok. I'm kinda struggling here as an extrovert after being contained indoor for almost 5 months. While putting my head down working on my YouTube Channel (btw, new vid is up in case you have yet to view it), writing my blog, occasionally taking some insta-worthy pictures and quietly cooking two more side projects (hope things go well as planned) besides being a mom...

I think my day is pretty busy, but yet it feels empty sometimes. Some days are better, some days are not. like today. Duh... When days like this hit me, I usually calibrate my day with mini goals, it helps me stay focused and being productive... without neglect my emotional needs.

We all need an outlet to vent, to breathe, to scream, to take the edge off the immensity of our emotions. My outlet is my mini goals; my mini goals for today are:
1) Make something fun for the kids,
2) Update my blog.
3) Finalize the draft of my new video.

Guess what, because I make something fun for my kids, I get to post it on my blog, so I basically kill two birds with one stone, taa data.

#1 S.U.M.M.E.R... Just like her name 🌼🌈❤️

#2 Look at that smile, priceless. And if you look closely, Chloe was rushing over to get her share too! Hahaha. It's banana, milk, and honey flavored.

Nothing beats a refreshing snow cone on a sunny day. This $2.99 Koji Snow Cone Cups and Straws Set that I purchased from Target arrived couple days ago, I was so eager to try making snow cones for the girls.

#3 I invented a healthy version one, without food coloring, without corn syrup, without added sugar but with pure organic pineapple puree and 100% cherry juice that I made.

#4 That's mine, definitely can use a pick-me-up to reminisce our fun summer times in Malaysia as well as our family vacay in Hawaii...

Notice the huge bandaid on my lower arm? Thanks to excessive cooking, the wok's cruel revenge.

#5 Always in style even with tousled hair. She now picks her outfits every day.

#6 Indulge.

#7 Multitasking...

#8 Summer also picks her own daily outfits, just so you know, lol. Comfort first, style later. She won't compromise 😅😅😅 But well, I want to instill that, she might invent the most comfortable clothing material or space suit... No biggie for me~

That's about it for today. Just a quick reminder, no matter how dull our day may seem, it is still a privilege and luxury to be living this life. Always be grateful, always take a moment to remind ourselves: It's a blessing to be able to breathe, pause, reflect, and move forward...

Tomorrow is going to be a better day...

Trust me...

Bacasue it's Friday! Hahaha~~

Alright, imma to fulfill the last mini goal, gonna work on my video! See you on next posting, BS-ers ❤️❤️❤️

XOXO,
Bev

Short Escape to Napa Valley

2020-07-05T20:44:00.001-07:00

Hello there,

Happy Sunday! How's your weekend? This weekend is one of my favorites since pandemic because it's the U.S. Independence Day aka July 4th aka national holiday! Nothing tops a short escape to my favorite town on this holiday weekend. We made a short trip to Yountville, Napa Valley. I always love the quintessential wine country experience with spectacular vineyard views and have been dying to visit Yountville again since my birthday in February.

I've been feeling a little discouraged and upset with the Covid-19 surge in California. Sigh. After staying indoor and cautiously practicing social distancing for four months plus yet the number is climbing every single day. While watching other countries, including my home country Malaysia gradually and strategically opening up for local businesses and schools, the Covid-19 situation here in the U.S. shows very little progress.

As I posted on Insta & FB yesterday, cabin fever is real when every day feels the same. Hence, I plan our family outings to reconnect with the world in a careful and respectful way. It seems like Covid-19 won’t be going away anytime soon. This is an uphill battle. It’s so important to take time, step back and see things through new eyes every once in a while. So I did, this Napa trip was a breather to me.

#1 It felt like a decade since I last put on a dress. Ya, it's tight.

#2 We first made a stop at Carneros Resort and Spa just because...

#3 The girls need to stretch and Chean thought this hotel has a beautiful and spacious outdoor space for the girls to wander around. The hotel was super quiet.

#4 Me lining up for my favorite bakery in Yountville, Bouchon Bakery by Thomas Keller.

#5 Guess how long it takes me to get in? One hour plus. Jeez, I forgot when was the last time I stayed in line for an hour just to buy some food for takeout. Chean treated the girls with ice cream while they're waiting for me...

#6 Aww~~ Worth the wait. How often can you get Yuzu Crossaint from a one-star Michelin restaurant during the pandemic.

#7 We picnic at a park in Yountville; I can't do outdoor dining outside the restaurant/bakery.

#8 Summer picked this, Cream Cheese Danish. Sooooo yummy!

#9 When she tastes something good, she wants everyone get a bite from it! Haha~ The line "Sharing is caring" is totally applicable.

#10 A random shot.

#11 My coffee, ice caramel latte. Mmm... Exactly what I needed.

#12 Fixing Summer's ponytail. It's such a mess!

#13 The stains? The cholocate ice cream.

#14 Checking out the vines...

#15 Grapes are growing.

#16 Ever since the coronovarius outbreak, it's so relaxing and comforting to be closed to green plants and nature. At least other living things are thriving while human beings are confining in their homes. Well, look on the bright side of life.

#17 I was smiling under da dang mask. Lol...

#18 This mini me obviously has better smile than me. BS-ers, Chloe is getting so big now, she grows a little each time I look at her!❤️❤️❤️

#19 Forever my baby girl.

#20 We ordered pizzas and this is my version of outdoor dining, haha.

#21 Vegetarian pizza with cheese, potato, onion and rosemary. It tasted better than expected.

#22 Hello Golden Gate Bridge, we then drove back to San Francisco in the evening.

It was a really short trip, we didn't do much too but getting out of the city helped me seek solace in this unprecedented time. The vineyard owners are still taking good care of my wines, haha, I like saying that all the vineyards in Napa are my wine collection caretakers, just for fun. Although many are closed. The plantation is still going; crops are growing strong...

I guess we are marching towards the end of the tunnel? Our journey of recovery might be longer than other countries but at least we are heading to the right direction? I hope. Praying that the U.S. leaders won't put in more tunnels for their people.

2020 was quite a year. Hope everything gets better after this summer.

Cheers,
Beverly

Backyard Camping, Say What!!!

2020-06-29T21:40:00.000-07:00

Hi guys,

Happy Monday! Ugh... As much as I hated Monday (well, to be fair, it used to be my favorite day before pandemic), I used to loathe camping more. Hahaha~~ That was the old me, pre-baby Beverly. But look at me know, a mom of two and I'm raving about camping. Thank you motherhood.

Maybe I shouldn't take credit from Chean, let me confess. This was Chean's idea, authentically his Father's Day project with the kids. Lucky him, smart to exclude me from his backyard camping project, haha, truly appreciate him for not signing me up for extra works. Lap you.

#1 Good luck Chean! And Happy Father's Day 😆😜😂

Of course, I helped out too. Scroll down for evidences, k.

#2 It's all started with this piece of paper.

Chean literally sat the kids down for a brainstorming session a week before. How cute! The kids are never shy to ask for movie night and sweet treats whenever they could. Wish granted of course, Daddy Chean has zero power to resist when his daughters say, "Pleeeeease,"

#3 These two! Packed their backpacks, supa adorb~~

#4 Here. My major contribution of the day was to make sure that the camping foods were served on time at the right temperature. Wait, did I mention I was the one that bought and carry four bags of groceries home while Chean was setting up the camping tent.

Team work is magic, we always divide and conquer, no doubt.

#5 I know, their messy hair, fresh out from a quick shower though. Btw, Summer never let me work on her hair. And I don't want it to be a daily battle, so I just let her be and prep myself for a beautiful story to tell when she grows older. Aside from their hair, the sausage bun was a big hit!!!

#6 Cozy up inside the tent.

#7 The happy face I captured during snack time after dinner!

#8 Yan Yan with Baby Chloe

#9 Summer Bunny🐰🐰🐰

#10 Why you soooooo cute? ❤️❤️❤️

#11 Second round of sweet treat.

#12 What's camping without S.M.O.R.E.S?

#13 The most anticipated moment of the day! The highlight of their sweet tooth journey.

#14 So much sugar!!! *fainted*

This probably one of the many reasons why I'm not a super big fans of camping yet... It's the camping foods that drive me nuts a little 😜 Think about all the can foods, high sodium pre-prepped meals, and the unnecessary extra sugar that these two little bodies inhale... So unhealthy 😆😆😆 Ok, I should stop nagging and just focus on the fun elements.

#15 We played and hung out in the backyard until the sky turned dark, which was a brand new experience for us.

#16 Then Chean brought the girls inside the tent and I went back into our house. Yup, you read this right, I can't sleep on the airbed, it's too uncomfortable for me 😅😅😅

Well... I thought I'd be able to have a restful night but boy, I miss them so much (just the girls, Chean can continue to stay in the tent, lol). It felt a little weird not to have them sleeping inside this house with me; it's indeed the first time for me to be by myself in the house and the house suddenly felt so big. Boo Hoo... I didn't sleep well. I now understand how Chean felt each time I brought the girls back to Malaysia with me; he must have felt the same too. Not loneliness but the emptiness, it felt strange.

#17 Took this pic at 3am that day. I wasn't alseep yet so I checked on them from the dining room.

#18 This was taken at 9a.m.! My babies were up!!! Look at Summer, she was so elated to see me! And Chloe? She's always swinging 😂

#19 I sped to the tent and gave them the biggest hug. So I asked if they miss me, of course they answered Y.E.S. and then, Chloe said, "I feel so bad for you Mommy that you have to be in the house all by yourself. We had a really fun time camping out here."

Hahahaha! Her bold statement made my day; it totally provided a different perspective. I was worried if the tent wasn't warm enough or the air beds were too soft or the backyard animals paid a visit and all the worries that a mom is good at... But Chloe thought differently as if I was being left out. Hahaha.

All in all, both of them had such a great time. Thumbs up to Daddy Chean for his brilliant idea, the girls are so blessed to have such a fun addy to be around with. It was indeed a special day for Chean and me too.

*************** Sponsored Ads ***************

(not really)

If you still can't get enough of this camping post. I have something extra juicy for you.

【父親節特輯】Backyard Camping 後院露營 ⛺️ 劉先森的爸爸經，開箱孩子的背包，談父愛哭陷回憶殺

#20 If you are interested to find out what's in the girls' backpacks or wanted to hear our heart-to-heart couple talk about Father's Day inside the tent... Or simply just being curious to see how we sound like... C.L.I.C.K. on it and let me know what you think 😊😊😊

Happy reading! Or should I say... Happy Watching!

XOXO,
Beverly

How To Be a Lifelong Bookworm?

2020-06-23T21:01:00.002-07:00

Hello BS-ers,

How's your day going so far? I haven't heard from you guys for a while but the stat shows the daily views of this blog are gradually increasing, so I guess you guys are reading? Thank you for your support.

#1 You guys know I like books.

I like reading books since I was three, and I still have a vivid and fond memory of how my first book looked like. It was a very basic and simple alphabet book my mom gifted me. It was a humid and warm evening, she sat me down in the living room upstairs... Ya, I grew up in a huge 1/2 wooden 1/2 concrete house that had a second living room on the second floor with a lavish pool table despite living in a tiny village in a small town. At least that's how I remember it, my early childhood days.

So that evening, my mom had a courageous and ambitious idea to teach her 3y/o firstborn to read. The memory still seems super fresh, trust me, it feels like yesterday when she requested me to repeat the first 3 alphabets in the book: A is for Apple, B is for Ball, C is for Cat... She repeated and flipped through the pages, over and over again three times but I still can't remember a thing except A is for Apple.

She got furious. The next second, she lost it.

She tore my first book into half, in front of me. The whole experience scarred me. Never thought a special mommy-and-me time could turn into such a horrific experience.

My mom stomped out of the living room and left the scene. I was sitting there by myself, with my first book and its pages that had been entirely torn out. I was traumatized and cried so hard, not just because my mom was mad at me but more so because of my own stupidity and poor working memory.

I went to my room and looked for a tape while repeating A is for Apple, B is for Ball, C is for Cat, over and over again in my mind until I can correctly pronounce those words and recognize the shape of each alphabet.

I then went to look for my mom, she was sitting on a couch in the living room downstairs. I braved myself to approach her, sobbed and then muttered, "A is for Apple, B is for Ball, C is for Cat... Can you help me tape it back?" My mom did help me with the book, she was surprised that I finally remembered all three alphabets. The same week, I memoried 26 of the alphabets (for the sake of memorizing) not knowing I'll be stuck with those alphabets forever.

If so, what's the rush mom?

My mom was 27 at that time. I'm not sure if I'd handle the situation better than her if I were born and raised in that era, with limited help and resources. I didn't blame her but I always thought the whole incident wasn't necessary. If I had a time machine, I'd turn back time to that humid evening and tell my mom, "Aunty, just chilled, mm shu kong (no need to worry, in Hakka, go ask Google if you don't believe me) your daughter is going to be a lifelong bookworm, Just enjoy your time together,"

Well, you totally don't have to be traumatized by your parent to be an avid reader. Reading should be fun; it should be a fun escape from reality. But my bookworm life took a twist when I first became a mom. As funny as it sounds, it wasn't that traumatizing childhood experience that stole the fun of it, it was motherhood.

The early days of motherhood were all about figuring out a game plan to keep my head above water and to maintain sanity in the household albeit sleep-deprived. There wouldn’t be time to curl up with a book anymore. It felt like a decade to finish a book, and that frustrated me a lot. So I gave up reading books that I enjoy; I revamped my whole reading list and fill it with books that I MUST read instead: The Whole-Brained Child, Last Child in The Woods, No-Drama Discipline, The Body Keeps The Score and probably 10 dozens more... And I went through the reading list like a Form 6 student prepping for STPM exam, haha.

What's the rush Bev?

As my firstborn grew, I matured too. I realized my self-love ability was at the lowest point, it sunk into a sinkhole, guess what, I was the one that pushed myself into that sinkhole ironically. My daily life as a first-time mom was joyful but not much fun.

So one sunny and breezy afternoon, I sat myself down, like how my mom did with me when I was three. I listed three things that I enjoyed doing at that particular moment, reading was one of them. I revamped my reading list again, but this time I replaced it with My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler, This Is How You Lose Her, Milk and Honey, Man's Search For Meaning and probably a dozen more (ya, only a dozen more this time cause baby was growing bigger, no time to juggle eh.)

Oh boy, my life was suddenly filled with bliss and light although I still pretty much doing the same things day in day out... My soul was nurtured; my spirit was lifted. Never thought a tiny change of action could make such a huge impact.

#2 I've been burying my head in books that I really enjoyed since 😊😊😊

Here's the final takeaway... If you were once a book lover but somehow lost in the vast of the modern world, have no fear my friend, mm shu kong. Here are some of my strategies to stay connected with the reading world...

1) Seize the modern technology. There are tons of apps and podcasts that can help fill your needs, like Blinkist and What Should I Read Next? . They are designed for readers that have hectic and demanding schedules. These apps come in handy, check them out.

2) Read anything. Comic, novel, non-fiction, memoir, genre doesn’t matter. Reading is the perfect hobby for any stage of your life. Your reading materials do not have to be serious or purposeful; it can be as casual as reading an in-flight magazine. The material doesn't quite matter but the healthy reading habit.

3) Mini goal. Once you've established a reading habit, try to set mini reading goals to keep the momentum going. You can easily do that with the apple app, iBook. My current reading goal is set to 5-minute, every day, haha. I know you are laughing at me now, but hey I often over-achieve my daily goal ok, pure satisfaction whenever I did that.

4) Join/Host a Book Club. No pressure. This is for advanced readers only, jk lah. I'm lucky enough to be surrounded by a group of mama friends that love reading too, we take turns organizing and hosting our monthly book club. It's so much fun to mingle and socialize with friends who share the same interest and passion.

#3 There's a proverb in Chinese that goes: 书中自有黄金屋,书中自有颜如玉. It literally means, "in books are sumptuous houses and graceful ladies". It urges one to be diligent in his/her studies and the success will follow.

#4

As I grow older, I think I understand why my mom was mad at me at that time. I thank my mom for teaching me that important lesson: It's a privilege to read at a young age. She probably had saved up money for that colorful alphabet book, just so I can read.

To her, reading is sacred. Through her, I learn that reading is empowering. With the ability to read at such a young age, it sets me free from difficult circumstances and opens up so many precious opportunities in my life.

And that is the most precious gift that I could ever ask for. ❤️❤️❤️

Happy reading y'all,
Bev

LoF as She Names It

2020-06-22T20:02:00.002-07:00

Hi guys,

It's Monday here in the Bay Area! Hope you had a wonderful and relaxing weekend. Last week, I tried out a new recipe for our 3pm snack time and man, it was so good, Chloe had to request it 2 days in a row.

#1 She named this LoF, Layers of Flavors. So creative!

#2 Our typical 3pm snack time looks like... Love the lemon water with a twist of fresh mint leaves...

#3 Raw vid, no filter. Anyone love Lofi music? 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

#4 Raw vid, no filter x2. This is so good to eat and the recipe is so hard to fail! You really need to try making this at home!

Here, I'm going to share our current favorite snack...

Ingredients:
1) 2 slices of white bread (I use the thicker one)
2) 2 slices of Ham
3) Shredded mozzarella cheese
4) 2 eggs
5) Kewpie Mayo (you can get this from Asian Market)
6) Chopped parsley for garnish
7) Olive oil

Steps:
1) Make a regular sandwich with the bread, Ham and mozzarella cheese.
2) Break eggs into a large mixing bowl and beat until well mixed.
3) Heat and grease the pan with olive oil, over medium to hot.
4) Add the egg mix from the mixing bowl, cook for approximately 1-2 minutes to form an omelette.
5) Slowly add the sandwich while the egg is semi-cooked.
6) Flip the egg omelette over so that the sandwich is covered by the egg.
7) Serve on a plate. Garnish with desired amount of mayonnaise and chopped parsley.

Taa daa~~ Just that simple! I'll have my sis look at this recipe upon publishing this post, and update this with the calories, haha! So do come back again for the nutrition info. Before that cruel reality kicks in, enjoy this for me!

Happy Snacking ❤️❤️❤️

Best,
Bev

Picnic Amid Pandemic

2020-06-19T23:55:00.003-07:00

Hello,

It's Friday here, TGIF I don't care. Thank you for the encouraging notes after reading my post yesterday, even Chean gives me a kiss on my forehead this morning.

I'm doing superb, I really am. I learn that embracing my vulnerability and imperfection helps me judging myself less harshly... Not just that but it also makes me more compassionate and kind towards myself. Ya, you hear me right, I'm not being self-centered or self-absorbed, I say this because I was once the cruelest slave driver to myself; hence, I'm learning and practicing to love myself more even when I don't or can't meet my own or anyone's expectations. It's ok to feel demotivated or discouraged, it's okay to feel what my heart feels as long as I'm honest to myself. Recognizing and embracing my own feeling actually helps me unstuck the current situation and eventually escape the negative thoughts.

Feelings are temporary, like everything in this world :)

Yup, especially the good weather in San Francisco during Summertime. So I told Chean I wanted to bring the girls outside after his last meeting of the day at 4.30pm, for a picnic, for bee watching, for mental escape or for the sake of we're stuck here the whole Summer... And we did!!! It turned out to be one of the bestest things that happened this week.

I dressed up. I put on my favorite makeup and a new summer dress.

#1 A lady is always a lady 😊😊😊

#2 Beverly will always be Beverly no matter how much weight she puts on, lol. So be it, I donn't care. 明明就很在乎，哈哈！

#3 Beautiful weather called for a relaxing afternoon.

I love picnicking, and I'm always picnic-ready, haha. My picnic blanket is always stored in the car trunk. I think it's because my mom used to bring me and my siblings picnic at Lake Garden every Sat morning when I was young... Relatives and neighbors would laugh at her saying that she brought us to 喂蚊 (feed the mosquitos) 😒😒😒 But I had the best childhood memory playing by the creek, running barefoot on the grass, feeding the birds... It's true that I always got mosquito bites, lol, but staying indoor will also kena bite what.

So when I have a family of my own, I bring them picnic whenever I grasp a chance to do so.

#4 Both of my girls love spending time together, doing nothing but enjoying the nice weather, just being present and being grateful...

#5 Ohhh.. Okok... Sorry, actually these two did A LOT OF things... Summer was playing ball with Daddy Chean.

#6 Chloe was busy making a flower headband with the daisy; she's so good at it 🌼🌼🌼

#7 Aww...

#8 Such a garden fairy 花园中的小精灵 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️

#9 Collecting more daisy to make me something special...

#10 A minimalist daisy ring, so delicate and elegant, it completed my OOTD.

#11 Token of appreciation. I gifted her a mini bunch of random blue flowers...

#12 L.O.V.E.L.Y!!!

#13 This pic was taken when Summer first got up from nap...

#14 Aww... So precious...

#15 "It's D.A.I.S.Y. mama, yolk (her unique walk of saying look)" 😁😁😁

#16 Chean is finally appearing 😂😂😂

#17 A fraction of how our daily life looks like...

You know what, all these great pictures that I took, edited and posted here are just a very tiny fraction of our life here in San Francisco, and most importantly, I intentionally chose the prettiest pictures to publish on my blog just because... It's a blog. Right?

The majority of my daily life actually consists of boring and tiring errands and chores, just like the average moms or women. However, when days like this knock at my door occasionally, it's hard to see it slip away. Therefore, I seize the day so that I can look back at all these beautiful moments and think to myself,

"Life is full of beautiful potential. Let's get this basket of laundry down and go picnic again someday~~" 😜😜😜

Love,
Beverly

***********************************************

My eyelet white dress is from H&M.

My Diptyque Perfumed Bracelet review is on my Youtube Channel.

Thank you for your interest! Keep your questions coming ❤️❤️❤️

Read T.H.I.S. Before Quitting (Note to Self)

2020-06-19T02:03:00.000-07:00

Hi there,

This post is originated during my jog at Golden Gate Park today, I initially posted my thought on my IG stories, then soon realized it's too wordy but I really wanted to document this process...

Not sure if you read them already, in case you haven't had a chance to do so, here's what I wrote:

#1 Words I wrote on my IG story today...

#2 More words...

You know... Whatever that you're working on now, be it a 9-5 job, a demanding career, a seemingly important yet humdrum errand, a new adventure you're journeying on, a brave endeavor that nobody seems to notice yet or an edgy business idea that no one gets it... Seriously, it can be anything that you're investing your time and money in but not making an impact as you desire... Sometimes self-doubt stupidly takes charge and asks you to JUST QUIT.

I have tons of those moments. Trust me. For the past 3 years... The art label that I poured in sweats and blood but plan was halted; the travel start-up that I worked for 18 months was of little or no avail... Then two more business ideas that I proposed/ventured on but none of those worked out. Seeing each of every single project being aborted one after another was very bitter and upsetting... And each time, I wanted to quit. I wanted to just hide in my own cocoon and you know, just get by.

But my heart screams for something else. I think life means so much more than just being contented in my comfort zone. I want more, I want to contribute more, I want to give more... I didn't know what that I really wanted to do for the next 10 years at that time, so I took a break.

Well, not really a break. I went back to school. Ya, I didn't tell anymore except those that are super close with me. I went to study Paralegal cause I was contemplating if I should get a cert or a second master or a Phd (hopefully not)... Paralegal seems favorable because I always wish to learn about business law, especially intellectual property and cybersecurity. Getting a Paralegal cert will probably help me get a sense if Law School is really for me. After 4 classes, we have a global pandemic. I haven't heard from that school since, ya, they probably don't have the resources to react during this unprecedented time.

Anyway... God has a different idea I guess.

In February this year, aside from being a part-time student, I started my YouTube Channel: 偷時間聊天的Beverly My intention was to reconnect with my siblings (my sis), my families (cousins) and my good friends (especially my BFFS)... Being so far away from home all these years has caused so many damages and misunderstandings in some of my closest relationships, it broke my heart to realize I no longer share the same "language" with those that I love and adore... I don't understand and I was lost in my own culture; the rojak culture that I was once familiar and super proud of...

Fortunately, my good observation skill sparked an idea, which then turned into the birth of my YouTube Channel of course, most of my friends in Malaysia watch YouTube videos; it has become a platform for their daily dose of entertainment or search engine. Then I dive deeper to study the digital landscape of Malaysia and its future growth projection, the picture seems clearer and the determination grows stronger. Perhaps you might already know, there are 20 million UNIQUE YouTube users in Malaysia as of February 2018 with 40 million DAILY impressions. Wait, what? With a 32 million population?! No joke. So I joined the bandwagon; I'd highly suggest you act the same too. If I'm going to spend X amount of time recording, editing, and producing videos from midnight till sunrise, I need something bigger to grasp onto, at least able to provide a legit and solid answer to my inner self.

Anyway... Before straying too far away, I can go on and on with stats and data :p

As much as I wanted to constantly stay motivated or to push myself forward... I felt really discouraged yesterday. And that stupid voice hit me up again: JUST QUIT.

It’s so easy to quit, to just hide in our cocoon and feel safe in our comfort zone, especially when you are physically exhausted. I am a mom after all; I am always a mom first. But jeez... My laundry basket is mountain high, my closet yells for more storages, my reading goal with my kids is left unattended, the daily chores and never-ending tasks go on and on... I'm tired, or maybe as fancy as it sounds, Quarantine Fatigue.

Then suddenly I thought of my BFF that unexpectedly left this world three months ago... She didn’t give up till the last second of her life though she had more reasons to do so than anyone...

What grants me the privilege to quit then?

Then suddenly all the memories flashed back, back to my university time where I worked every semester break so that I can afford buying nice clothes to accessorize myself for the auditions at the local TV stations, NTV7, 8TV, and a dozen more independent production houses that I can't even recall...

All the uncountable rejections and "Nope, maybe next time," as cruel as it sounded, I never had any sad feeling because I knew I've given my best. It's just that "my best" had yet to meet their requirement, but each rejection I received basically meant I'm one step closer towards my goal. If there's a golden rule that never fails, I'd say life always rewards those who work hard.

This is the brutal truth that I learned through young age, through rounds and rounds of audition since I was in high school. In the final stage of every single audition or competition, you'll encounter the most talented and gifted souls, every one of them is as qualified as you hence you guys are in the same pool... What really makes you stand out is your last leap, it is not just your gift or talent, it is the extra hours and the ultra determination and the unbeatable desire that you're willing to put in on top of everything else. That determination and perseverance landed me a 2-year contract with a private production studio. Although I didn't choose to sign with them eventually (I almost did), it was a beautiful and rewarding journey 😊😊😊

Where there's a will there's a way. 我一直都是一個很努力的人。

So... Whenever I felt discouraged, I walked down that memory lane and talked to my old self. Hey Bev, you were one of the 13 selected artists out of 1000 plus candidates. You did it. Now you can too. It's the journey that matters.

That's it. That's my train of thought while I was jogging in the park today, ya, after 3 months and I finally have guts to do it. It feels sooooo good, the sense of normalcy (with masks of course) instantaneously comforts me.

#3 Ahhhhh... Life is good! Especially with a cute picture ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻

Thank you for reading! It's a lengthy and wordy one, but hey, don't you miss this? Heart to heart talk... Also, to whoever reading this now, thank you for holding the fort and tending this secret garden while I was taking such a long break.

Now I'm going to think about the next video that I'm going to make, hmm...

Love & kisses,
Bev

Weekend Vibes

2020-06-14T00:34:00.000-07:00

Yoohoo~~ Happy weekend!

Hope this COVID-19 pandemic doesn't take the fun away from you. If it does taking a toll on you, maybe I can share some of my simple ways to give your quarantine life a relief...

1) Find the center of your home.
This doesn't have to be assessed by a Feng Shui master or to be identified by an architect; the center of a home simply consists of 3 elements: togetherness, fun, and joy.

It is a space in your home that always brings everyone together, do fun thing together, and create joyful memories. In this case, the center of my home is always the dining area. We enjoy foods, so this space is perfect for us to hang out for a casual chat between meals and snacks. We love family activities, so this space helps us sitting across each other and work on something together, baking project, finger painting, jewelry making, you name it, we probably have done it. Through that, we share lots of joyous moments as a single unit of the society, a family 😊😊😊

Once you've figured out the center of your home that fulfilled these 3 elements, remember to always keep it clean, pleasant, and functional.

#1 This is how mine looks like today.

I wake up to this because jeez, you've no idea how much effort I've spent to make this area presentable. Think constant clean up and decluttering. I usually heavy clean the house on Friday to set the weekend vibe right while anticipatingly welcoming it! I find this practice helpful because we all get to enjoy a decent breakfast in a nice setting the next day.

2) Invest in items that not only bring you joy but functional too.

#2 A sturdy cake stand, a beautiful vase, a cute dessert plate, a mid-century buffet table, a real wood dining table, a rustic dining chair...

Every single piece of furniture or items that I bring home need to have at least a 5-10 years life span. They don't have to be expensive but they need to last; its style and functionality. No more compulsive buying for a lady, each of those are carefully curated.

3) Spend time making your own meal.

#3 The breakfast I eat this morning. It's just a very simple open-faced avocado spread on a sourdough baguette that takes me 5 minutes. But the process of making it, oh boy, it feels like therapy.

Taking time prepping your meals during the weekend makes you feel good because you know you're taking good care of yourself; your body thanks you, so does your mind.

4) Stay active.

This is hard. With all the shelter-in-place order, homeschooling and working-from-home, all I wanted to do is eat, rest and repeat. It's hard to find the time or even squeeze out extra energy to stay active. But maybe, I say maybe, you can try doing it during weekend.

#4 We always try to bring the kids out during the weekend, walking on the wood lines, playing in the sand dune, running on the green grass... Looking after them while they are being outdoor helps me stay active, haha. It's true. All parents know about it.

Btw, do you see the ocean? Isn't San Francisco a beauty?

5) Embrace nature

#5 This pandemic makes me realize how much I appreciate nature, in a mindful way. Nature is all around us yet I rarely take the time to step back to really appreciate it, to feel its present and be grateful for it.

#6 Hello! BS-ers, I miss you ❤️❤️❤️

#7 After an almost 2.5 hours hike, we come home and relax. I manage to make some snacks for the kids while they continue their fun time in the backyard.

It looks nice, isn't it? Thanks to frozen pizza and packaged tomato soup from Trader Joe's. Oh btw, I went to Trader Joe's for the very first time yesterday, not sure if you saw it on my insta stories.

But ya, if you set the center of your home right and curate it mindfully, not only it is extremely soothing to look at but you can easily make a twist by toying around with other things, foods, magazines, books, plants, etc...

6) Utilize it, don't just gram it.

#8 Whatever that you bring home, even a small utensil, make sure you use it, make sure it is functional, not just for a good-looking photograph that brings you 100k likes.

We're now living in an era that we build things for "likes and loves" on social media. It's utterly important to remind ourselves that we don't just live for those things, we live because we are. You deserve more than all the "likes and loves" you'd get on Instagram or Facebook, you just do.

I hope you enjoy this post and able to find joy in it too. I have a really blissful Saturday so far, hope I share a piece of good vibe with you all, too.

XOXO,
Bev

Chloe's 8th Birthday (How to Throw a Budget-Friendly Kid's Party during Pandemic)

2020-06-05T19:05:00.004-07:00

Hello! Happy TGIF ❤️

This post is going to be a long but comprehensive one but rest assured, I promise it'll bring a smile to your face once you get through the end of this post. So grab your coffee or teh bing (ice tea) or frappucino or boba milk tea before gluing your face on your electronic devices...

Many of you have known me or have been reading my blog since I moved to Portland, Oregon, many of you also have seen me being super preggie with my firstborn in Boulder, Colorado then being super swamped up yet lost during the first year of motherhood, then some of you followed me (virtually) when I moved to San Francisco, California 6 years ago and witnessed me inconsistently updating this blog and eventually, abandoning it because my priorities shifted 😩 I'm so sorry...

Then now, a few of you guys are still here and I finally decided to tend this "secret garden" again... You guys are gold. Thank you for just being here. Btw, how's your drink tasting?

Ok. Aging makes me long-winded. I mean, after all these years and all these stages of life that you guys have been with me, my firstborn is turning 8 now.

#1 Yup, Chloe is 8 now.

I still can't believe it... Where did the time go? Ok, I basically say this every year around this time, haha. Again, it's the age thing 😜 Global pandemic lightspeeds me age and speaking of the pandemic, I've come to realize that the most important and the most precious things in life are actually not things, not the stuff that you can possess or the material item that you can own. All the most precious things in life are already given to us from heaven even before we ask for them. I mean, I always know that theoretically but living in the U.S., a culture of consumerism makes it so hard to practice.

This time I made a conscious effort to translate that practice at Chloe's birthday party.

Guess what, I spend less than US$ 80 on everything!!!

#2 Mama Bev hard at work 😊

Chloe wants a fairy theme party; fairy design is all that she talks about lately. With the SpaceX Falcon launch, one of her fairies now comes with a spacesuit, sort of. One day my baby girl will no longer speak fairy; this dull world may trade her wild imagination with data and statistic, so why not savor her sparkles and embrace that with some fairy dust *twink* Everything for a magical childhood.

#3 A day before. It begins with a pre-birthday choco cookie treat that Summer bakes. Setting up an ambient that increases her anticipation.

#4 I stayed up until 2a.m. to work on the decoration hoping to surprise her on the next day. (I first shared this video on my insta story...)

It feels so blissful to be able to have some alone/quiet time to prepare something special for my loved one, I always love the process and find it fulfilling. This birthday party is extra meaningful because I'm orchestrating everything just for Chloe, the birthday gal, and Summer, the one and only VIP. From planning, ordering to executing, these two ladies are everything that I focus on. Don't get me wrong, I like throwing big parties too but I also have to admit, hosting a party for 20-50 guests is a different ballgame because there are so many things to take into consideration, guests' preferences, entertainment, food allergies and etc, all things factor in and at least 12 hours (at least) is out the window...

Hence this particular one, a birthday party for two, is pure joy to me. It revives me.

#5 The next day morning!!! She's elated.

#6 Look at Summer! Haha! She always steals the show!

#7 Summer: Can I eat the cake yet? Me: 😂
Chloe: How many pics do you have to take, mom? Me: 😆
Chean: I have a meeting in 15 mins. Me: 😒

#8 Finally! Good things come to those who wait... for like 2 mins, lol.

#9 They're discussing the taste, texture and presentation of the cake.

#10 This is my favorite part, nomming hard-boiled egg, a Chinese culture that symbolizes new life on the birthday.

#11 She wants...

#12 One of these... cute strawberries stuffed with apple that we make together~

The entertainment of the day, which turns out to be the highlight of the party, is actually the craft activities that I prepared for them. Chloe has zoom-schooling, Chean has work to do, but in between, we make fun and cute things together.

#13 Craft Idea 1: Design a card for someone special. Chloe makes a card for her classmate...

#14 while Summer just wanted to explore and play with the stamps...

#15 So cute!!! Both of them and the stamps set.

#16 I make this card for my sister; she's a June baby too 💕

#17

#18 Chloe spends about 30 mins decorating and designing her card~

#19 Unicorn drawing in the making~

#20 Craft Idea 2: Pasta Jewelry Making. I name it Enchanted Amulet; Summer enjoys it the most!

#21 And she finally manages to name her fingers, lol. It takes me weeks to help her memorize 😆

#22 Sweetie pie Summer ❤️❤️❤️

#23 Craft Idea 3: Air Dry Clay.

#24 Daddy Chean at work; he helps on this one. Chloe is sooooo focused.

#25 Summer at work. Making patterns on the clay~

So now you ask, how did you spend the US$ 80? You might not believe it, but I only buy T.H.R.E.E. items for the whole party set-up, craft materials and cake (Chloe picks the cake). Most of the decor items are already sitting in my home, either in Chloe's or my room so I literally just have to rearrange or move them around... and all the craft items are either unopened presents we received on other occasions or art supply that I bought a while ago...

Here:
Luscious lemon cake from Susie Cake, $43
Fairy Backdrop from Amazon.com, $18
Flower crown headband from Amazon.com, $12

That's US$ 73 in total, hooray!!! Super affordable and budget-friendly.

You may ask, "How about the foods?" Well, Chloe does request a special birthday meal, Mac & Cheese and Apple Cider, haha. Oh my precious Chloe, thank you for making my life easier. So, I make her that with some finger foods... No extra purchases needed, we'd stocked up quite a bit amidst pandemic. The food and beverage portions are pretty simple and straightforward since there're only 4 of us.

We celebrate her birthday from the moment she wakes up till the evening falls... Right before she goes to bed, she kisses me and thanks me for all the wonderful set-up, lovely art projects, yummy Mac and Cheese, and most importantly, the fun family time we all spend together throughout the whole day, from dawn to dusk.

I guess that's the silver lining of this Covid-19 global pandemic; it helps us set the superficial "happiness" aside and focus on the priorities in life that bring us true joy. Health, love, gratitude, kindness, empathy, family, marriage, friendship and so many more to name... They are all equally precious; they are all money can't buy. To me, this is the most beautiful and meaningful birthday party to date.

Happy 8th Birthday, Chloe! A love letter to follow.

Love,
Mama Bev

Another Week Goes By

2020-05-30T22:52:00.001-07:00

Hello, weekend!!!

How's your day going so far? It has been the most unproductive week for me ever, I've been telling myself to just rest in bed, just chill and relax but my brain won't let me, haha. I have a milestone that I set and action plans that I lay out myself...

I'm a planner, it helps me function better when I know what lies ahead. But it's also a constant uphill battle to remind myself to take a pause from time to time. Once you've become a mom, you will probably understand how limited time you have for yourself, for things that you want to achieve. Those mini-goals though seem super mini nor superficial to the majority of childless couples now seem like the unachievable tasks for me.

I just have to steal time, all moms do. A few seconds here, a few minutes there. Like right now, I have my older sleeping right next to me after our usual bedtime routine which consists of endless topics about the universe, life after death and etc while composing this post...

Finally... These precious minutes that I manage to claim! And I want to use it to talk about humdrum stuffs that I found around my house, haha...

First and foremost... A quick round of focus group question:

#1 Not sure if any of you notice this bracelet of mine... I've been wearing it for 5 or 6 years now, never take it off. I wear it during the shower, basically everywhere except for body massage, I adore it a lot, the evil eye is my lucky charm but sadly it has almost reached its maximum lifespan. I ordered something similar yesterday, a black bracelet but have a feeling that I might return it anyway, I just love this one so much, can't buy it again because it's no longer available :(

Do you have any suggestions? String bracelet, black bracelet, evil eye jewelry... Anything that crosses your mind now I'll take it :)

I'll share with you guys too once I've received my new bracelet although I feel a little heavyhearted to replace the current one.

#2 Apple Airpod Pro. Well, these are not mine, they are Chean's. If you watch one of my YouTube videos, I bought a counterfeit one, haha, because I wanted a pink "airpod" and oh boy, how I regret it now!!! Because it hurts my ear after wearing it for a long period of time. It's not worth the money, I should have just gone for the airpod pro. Now I am contemplating... Should I... Should I not...

#3 This one I recommended. I thought I graduated from wearing falsies after becoming a regular customer at the eyelash extension salon. Not during the pandemic. So I ordered these from Amazon.com for just $14. And I approved.

#4 Sigh. My nails are extremely hideous now, after all the cooking and cleaning! I can definitely use a little pick-me-up... Ordered these sally hansen but I only like the insta-dri top coat, not the color. When can I have beautiful nails again? I know, first world problem. But I miss seeing myself having neat nails without overgrown cuticles.

#5 Yup, hold your jaw! I even color my own hair, surprisingly it went pretty well! Thanks to Eva Longoria, I chose this one after watching her commercial, it was magical! And it works so well on me, highly recommend this color too if you want something more natural.

#6 I also bought this one, from Target, hoping to restore the shininess of my hair after damaging it with hair color. Haha... Restoring it with even more chemical, lol. I haven't tried it yet, but the reviews on Target rave that this product will make your hair looks shiny and healthy. We shall see, stay tuned on my insta story :p

#7 Oh my... My favorite body oilssssss. Buy them! I use it as an after-shower massaging oil now on a weekly or bi-weekly basis because they are E.X.P.E.N.S.I.V.E!!! I used to apply it every day while I was pregnant but I don't think I want to splurge on that anymore. So they are more like an indulgence to me now, a necessary indulgence, if that makes any sense :p

#8 Ermm... These supa dupa blue pillssss, not sure if I should spill the secret but my blog's motto is "Promise to Share" so be it lah...

Apparently, these are my secret weight control pill in M'sia. I take it whenever I overeat and got super bloated (when you only go home once a year and you only have one stomach), when I have to attend multiple events or functions in a row (it's rude if you're not eating when everyone is), or when I go on vacationsss (if you don't try out all the yummy local foods, why to bother travel at all?) Anyway, I am not promoting this, I'm just sharing it and I only take these a few times in a year, mostly in M'sia. Please consult the professionals (doctors & pharmacists) before thinking about buying it or trying it.

Thank you for reading. Hope you find joy around your home and see sparkles in tiny humdrum things around you! Have a magical weekend :)

p/s: The pills do not help me lose any weight in the long term, I'm still carrying the post-baby body until today. Healthy diets and daily exercises are the only and most effective way to lose weight. Stay healthy!

Love,
Bev

This is a I-Wake-Up-Looking-Like-This Post

2020-05-28T15:53:00.001-07:00

I had difficulty falling asleep yesterday due to menstrual cramps and backache, ugh, hate to say this but aging is a bitch. It really is because suddenly your body can no longer keep up with your youthful spirit and soul. The good news is that I'm not pregnant after being confined under the same roof with Chean for 2 months; it sure feels like decades, I mean having a baby living inside me, not living with Chean, aheam. Lol. Kidding, I mean the latter, pardon my honesty. It has nothing to do with Chean, a sweet and caring husband/daddy that's constantly tip-toeing around the house trying not to annoy his wife, it's just more like I need my O.W.N space. A breather. A quiet zone.

There, Summer is calling. She needs an extra pair of hands to move her ice-cream cart (a superb toy my friend got her two Christmas ago, thank you Ying & Zhe) for the 86241 times of the day.

"Summer, the ice-cream cart looks perfect in that spot. Let's keep it that way."

There, Chloe is asking for permission to view this video that randomly pops up after her teacher's video on YouTube.

"No, baby. Stay focused. Complete your assignment before lunch, remember?"

So do I, I'm going to focus on finishing this blog post in less than 15 minutes. Why? That's all the time that I've got for myself before attending to everyone's needs. I spend my free time on this, you're welcome :)

Okayyyyy... Lofi-music on...

I wake up with chapped lips today and breakouts on my chin, duh, thanks to PMS (pre-menstrual symptoms) so this whole thing really catches me off-guard... Never have I ever thought that I'd receive a Mother's Day treatment on a random Thursday, as I posted on my Instagram story this a.m.

#1 I asked him why? Hahaha... and he said, "Just want you to sleep in a little bit more,"

It makes sense to have me sleep in since he was making breakfast for the girls this morning, too. And that's the kind of breakfast I make for the family in a daily, if not weekly basis anyway.

What would a blogger do when she witnesses this once-in-a-blue-moon scene, especially she just claimed her "comeback" yesterday? Seize the opportunity of course, camera on, snap, snap, boom!

#2 Reminiscing my carefree life in pre-baby era, 立刻當15分鐘的偽少女 (can't think of a way to translate this phrase accurately)

#3 Real PJs, real breakfast, real tongue.

I was attempting to record a video of me devouring the breakfast like those cutesy 網紅 but Chean popped in the room to check on me...

#4 Haha! I look like Pumbaa from The Lion King in this video but my lovely husband still thinks I am cute.

True love is blind, obviously. The fact that he has been with me for almost 19 years and still willing to make the extra effort to brighten up my days, that should grant him a special plaque and instantaneously qualify him for a handicap parking spot.

#5 A proof that I actually scarify my clean pinky for this shot. The shutterspeed isn't fast enough to catch the runny egg yolk on my avocado toast.

Thank you Chean, I enjoy my breakfast/brunch in bed. And I'm feeling utterly grateful and blessed to have you by my side today. Well, at the end of the day, we only have each other, it's so important to remind ourselves and our significant half to pamper each other with love and affection.

Dear husband Chean,

Congratulations!
You've passed the hubby's duty test today, please claim the worth of your existence again tomorrow, hahaha.
Keep it up!

XOXO,
Bev the wife that adores random surprises

Gear Up For a Comeback

2020-05-27T14:56:00.000-07:00

Hello BS-ers,

The last hello was in 2018, which was 2 years ago. None of us could have predicted that the year of 2020 is going to be turned out this way: Global pandemic, social distancing, quarantine, and isolation. Well, if you have a small family like I do, isolation might be something that you're deprived of after bonding involuntarily with a working-from-home husband and two very needy young children for more than two months. The constant cooking in the kitchen, relentlessly working around the house (and the clock) to keep the kids occupied...

Man, I need my space.

Speaking of space, the SpaceX Crew Dragon launch today wasn't happening at all; after anticipating it for hours, I turned off my TV screen feeling meh.

Wait, why do I even talk about Elon's SpaceX. Let's not drift too far away. Where were I?

So I thought about my own space, in search of my mental escape... Then my blog crosses my mind, off the bat. And of course, you guys too. This space... the words between the lines, the sound of the keyboard as I type, the unscripted paragraphs where I can safely spill out my own feelings and emotions, and just be M.E.

I miss you all.
How have you guys been?

I miss myself.
How are you doing Beverly?

Oh, I now run a YouTube Channel with a weekly update that I started back in February this year. I thought it's a cool platform for me to stay connected with my fellow Malaysian friends and families, and to really feel everyone's existence... Man, it is so much work and way more time-consuming than I thought, haha. But I'm glad that I did it anyway. It keeps me busy and focused during this unprecedented time; I do enjoy making and editing videos. It was my major back in the University days many many moons ago~~ However, I don't think a fast-paced 5-10 mins video can ever replace the pleasure of reading words at your own comfortable pace, within your own imagination.

That brings me back here to my blog, too.

In case you've already forgotten how I look... Here's a quick one to refresh your memory:

#1 The most recent M.E., taken three days ago in my backyard. The background of this picture composes of my kids’ playhouse, healthy growing trees and my hardworking husband.

Then the rest were also taken during shelter-in-place, so do expect them to be taken indoor.

#2 Me on that Charles Eames that I gifted Chean seven Christmas ago.

#3 That's the better look, both of the chair and me, ahem.

#4 This one was in Chloe's bedroom. She was actually zoomschooling 3 feet away from me.

Before all these cuckoo mukoo craziness coronavirus thingie (as how Chloe described) takes place, I was lucky enough and blessed enough to celebrate my birthday with Chean and my cute baby girls... You guys are always there for me in every stage of my life since 10 years ago. So I thought you'd probably be interested, so I thought to share this huge milestone with you guys too...

#5 Haha! Yes, I'm 28, c'mon, please don't roll your eyes, ignite your imagination. Once upon a time, I was once 28, which also happened to be this February, annoyingly saying.

That's all I've got for you today I guess.

An official comeback blog post, a lousy sense of humor, and a warm and fuzzy hello from an old friend.

XOXO,
Bev

Instagram: @beverlymun
Facebook: Beverly Mun
YouTube: 偷時間聊天的Beverly

好久好久不见

2018-01-12T23:10:00.001-08:00

我和我的好朋友们已经快两年没见面了
有时Whatsapp他们的时候很想问他们：
“你有想念我吗？”
可是又害怕他说：“有。”
因为有的话，我又能怎样？
但如果说没有，我又会失望。

十分矛盾。

自从我们出了社会工作，组织了家庭之后，
其实就只有过年的时候可以hangout一下。
其他的时间，都是聚少离多的。
没办法，我在旧金山，他们都在KL。
以前没有Facebook的时候，还会偶尔打电话聊天。
现在有了Whatsapp跟Wechat，让我变得不好意思打电话。
我怕会打扰到朋友，没什么urgent的事最好不要call，
不然他们会担心我的。

小时候听大人说：
“你一生中最要好的朋友只会是那两三个而已。”
长大后的我懂了，
因为时间不允许。
我们要忙着hit target，三点见client，六点有dinner plan。
我们要接孩子放学，两点有补习班，五点学钢琴。
我们要去自助旅行，下个月去norway，四月去韩国。
我们有各自的计划，
只是我们的计划里没有我们。
我们能为对方做的事，卑微到只能彼此鼓励和默默支持对方。

长大后，我变成了那个接孩子放学的。
当妈妈后，我常常听别人说：
“你这一辈子只能拥有孩子16年，要好好珍惜。等他们上中学，去college了就不黏你了。”
如果有机会回到过去，
我想对13岁的我说：
“你这辈子其实只能拥有你好朋友几年而已。
等他们去college，去工作，有家庭了就很少机会hangout了。”
然后，
我会为自己幼稚的行为道歉，
也不执着于好朋友的不懂事，
因为我们只能拥有彼此这几年而已。
几年后的我们，
会在职场上，clubbing，咖啡厅，菜市场，孩子学校的parking lot，甚至旅行的路途上，
遇到人生另一个阶段的好朋友。
不是什么贪新厌旧，
只是人在不同的阶段，终究会需要不同的朋友。
就好像，
我搞不懂你职场上所面对的勾心斗角，
你也弄不清我为什么会为了学区搬家。

每当我认识一位新的朋友，
我都会想起我们的那些年。
青涩单纯，懵懂的少女时代。
我们都不太习惯肉麻的话，
感情太泛滥很难收拾心情。
所以，
我们讲废话，
我们爱傻笑。
但笑中带泪。

可是，
今晚的我，
特别特别想念你们。

“你有想念我吗？”

摄于日本京都，12月2017年。

XOXO，
Bev

In The Name Of Love - Sweet 16

2017-08-15T23:50:00.000-07:00

This one is for you, Darling Chean. Happy 16th Anniversary!

Smooches,
Bev

In The Name Of Love - Lost & Found

2017-08-07T11:23:00.001-07:00

Dear Miyaki,

This one is for you, my beloved pet and our very first baby. Thank you for letting me hold on you for 5 years. Throughout these 1825 days, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you, I miss you so badly that I almost lost myself. It is also you that made me a mother first, but fate took you away once I've become a mother of my first child. You know what, I didn't cry at all on the day you were gone forever, I told myself we're not done yet, I was in delusion.I was truly lost and empty without you.I felt so guilty I wasn't there with you at the end. I swallow my guilt every day and this guilt grows into something that's eating me alive, my life, my health and eventually my self. Mama wants to say goodbye now, but that doesn't mean I will ever forget about you. I'll carry you in my heart, your bouncy prances on the sidewalk, your wild run on the grassy field, your exciting look before mealtime and a lot more... These are all the things that I want to remember about you. I want to remember the happiness you brought into our lives, the wonderful moments we spent together all those years. That's all that I can do for you now. I miss you so much, I'm sure you know that, I truly believes you are being cared for and will be waiting in the heaven to spend an eternity with me and God.

Please forgive me. For the first time I'll be saying this to you, my dear baby Miyaki, may you rest in peace. Mama loves you with all my heart and soul, and you'll always have a special place in my heart.

Hugs & Kisses,
Mama Bev

In the Name Of Love - A Long Preface

2017-07-31T11:22:00.000-07:00

Hello again,

I've been thinking to do this for quite some time, but never want to commit to anything until I can swing with the grove of my dynamic lifestyle. Gratefully speaking, now that I can, I can finally manage more bites on my plate and I'm seeing this as a more efficient way to convey my feelings and thoughts to my closest ones--my families and friends in M'sia or maybe some new friends that I'll eventually meet down this road. Voice travels faster than words I supposed, especially in our fast-paced world today. As much as I hope I can have the luxury of time to just sit and enjoy reading a 200-pages book, I simply can't. Sadly, there are too many priorities that we, as a grown-up and mature adult, have to fulfill before attending to our own needs. All the mothers in the universe, you sure feel me. Self-reflection and self-awareness take time. Hence I make the voice clips again, I hope you will find it handy.

The birth of this new series help me reflect my role as a person, a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend and most importantly, they guide me redefine my own priorities and my relationships with my loved ones. We all understand that love is the answer to all the tough questions in life, we know that love is so strong that it can remove any barrier for almost everything. We all know. But how many of us could possibly have the capacity to love again after getting hurt for a hundred billion times? I'm a positive person, my humdrum life or hectic motherhood doesn't quite change that precious side of me, but I lost the purpose and the ability to love again. Each and every day, we can be making memories but also accumulating scars, consciously or unconsciously, voluntarily or involuntarily. Throughout this journey of researching myself, I regain the capacity to love, the ability that God once equipped me with.

It has been a fun and wonderful journey, I can't wait to invite you to be part of this. And this time, I'll be chatting with you in Mandarin. (Why? Because my 5-year-old can't understand a single word of Cantonese yet she wants to listen or be part of this)

Hope you enjoy listening to this! See you ❤

**My Very Lame Focus Group Experience**
My baby sis and my bff are one the of the few that will receive the audio files before everyone gets to hear it. They often encourage me with their blunt honesty, thank you :p

#1 是亲妹妹无误～

#2 My bff... 妳知道的太多了，敬你一杯, lol...

Love you guys, thank you for being the air mattress for me to land on whenever I decided to pretend I can fly and save the world from insainty. I am the luckiest one, always.

Hugs,
Beverly

Full-Time Mom Thriving Motherhood

2017-07-26T17:01:00.000-07:00

Yup, I say so myself. As a mother of two, I no longer strive for survival, I thrive. The conventional wisdom said what doesn't kill you makes you stronger; it is brutally true. Now I can single-handedly lift up a 35lbs kid while lugging two big bags of groceries. Try me.

Being a mom makes me discover my greatest self, I never knew I could be so patient that I could be Chloe's walking cradle for 2 hours; but at the same time, I also uncover the darkest side of myself, I never knew the unrelenting frustrations of mismanaging expectations could make me totally lose it. Throughout the whole journey of this glorious motherhood, there's a "gray period" that I tend to fall between these two extremes (well, it could also be just hormonal changes, anyway.) It takes me two years to pick myself up again and to figure this whole new ball game (hopefully you buy this explanation as it is the best excuse I can ever come up with on why I disappear in the blogosphere for 2 years :p) and I am ready to share what I've been through...

Before I begin with my story, here's a little introduction in case you don't know me yet and just happen to stumble upon this blog. I call myself a full-time mom (FTM) and I think in fact all moms are full-time moms doesn't matter if you work outside of the house or not. Once you are a mom, there's no resignation. However, to make motherhood even more confusing and challenging, the society labels me a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). Whatever. I am a mom, or should I say I am just a mom but more than that, and I take pride in it. I have a beautiful 5 years old daughter and I recently gave birth to a new baby girl, that upgrades me to a mother of two. In the world of motherhood, your combat effectiveness is determined by the number of children you have. That being said, if you have only one child, you're pretty much on the lowest tier of the pyramid (per say); but the moment you give birth to another baby, congratulations, you successfully evolve and instantly you will be crowned as a "better, stronger and greater" mom. If you have five or more children, your are nuts, oops, sorry, mind my language, I mean you are the Yoda. Now I assume all moms with single child pay me higher respect okay :p

Joke aside, motherhood is one of the toughest assignment of life, I've been told that kids do not come with an instruction manual, but guess what, it does. It does. That's why I'm thrilled to share my journey. While gathering my thoughts to best present them to you in the next post (in written or audio format), here are some of the pictures that best conclude my full-time mommyhood in past two years...

#1 July, 2016. Chloe & I walking over to a retirement home for her first recital.

#2 Sept, 2016. At Carmel, California. I was 4 months pregnant with Chloe's baby sister.

#3 Sept, 2016. We braved the strong waves by Carmel Beach. Btw, this picture doesn't do the waves justice.

#4 Sept 2016. At one of Chloe's favorite "playground" aka MoMA New York.

#5 Dec, 2016. Spending our weekend ritual making art at de Young Museum.

#6 Dec, 2016. Lake Tahoe, California. Pregnancy, icy path, the snowy weather never stop me from rocking my role as Chloe's mom. She wanted to see snow, and we brought her to it albeit my burgeoning belly that time.

#7 Dec, 2016. Napa Valley, California. It was probably one of the most relaxing trips for me although without a drop of alcohol; it was also our last trip together as a family of three.

I know, I once loudly proclaimed that I will not want another baby after Chloe but yet... I'd like you to hear me out although I don't owe anyone an explanation, you guys are important to me. For now, start supporting each other, pass along the positive energy and good vibe, we will all sail through this life together!

A Moscow Mule please, I'll see you again soon! C.H.E.E.R.S~

xoxo,
Beverly

OOTDs

2015-09-22T22:36:00.001-07:00

Hello again! Hope you are ready for a compilation of my recent outfit-of-the-days (OOTDs).

#1 OOTD1 Activewear, my current addiction.

Cap, Stussy

Cutout mesh racerback tank, H&M

Sports bra, H&M

Athletic leggings, Gap

Sneakers, Nike

#2 OOTD2

#3 OOTD2 Art Museum Date Night.

Top, J.Crew

Faux leather skirt, Zara

Trench coat, Banana Republic

Flap bag, Chanel

Rockstuds pumps, Valentino

#4 OOTD3 Casual family outing.

Red floral dress, Forever 21

Chained faux leather belt, Forever 21

Satchel, Coach

Ballet flats, Sam Edelman

Baby Chloe, 39 weeks of pregnancy plus 3 years of uncountable sleepless nights

#5 OOTD4

#6 OOTD4 Ready for a family fun day.

Trench coat, Banana Republic

Top, Ann Taylor

Jeans, Levi's

Satchel, Zara

Wedges, DV dolce vita

Cheeky baby, Priceless

#7 OOTD5 Farm Day.

Top, H&M

Skirt, H&M

Backpack, MCM

Sunglasses, Carera

Sandals, BP. (Nordstrom)
Baby Chloe, A pretend flamingo

#8 OOTD6 Dim sum time!

Straw hat, Forever 21

Cardigan, H&M

Leopard print day dress, Lush (Nordstrom)

Satchel, Zara

Mesh espadrille, Report

Baby Chloe, Lotsa love hugs & kisses

#9 OOTD7 Attire for Preschool Parents Night.

Blazer, Zara

Dress, Zara

Brooch, Chanel

Waist belt, H&M

Flap bag, Chanel

Pumps, Miu Miu

#10 OOTD8 Grocery shopping kinda day.

Knee-length dress, Gap

Neverful, Louis Vuitton

Wedges, Primavera (Malaysia)

#11 Chloe took this one for me, I just had to post it on BS :p

#12 OOTD9 Me time never gets old.

Button down, Gap

Cardigan, Forever 21

Jeans, Levi's

Satchel, Zara

Pink boots, Timberland

#13 OOTD10 Another Me-Time!

Baseball cap, Scala Pronto (Macy's)

Top, J.Crew

Jeans, Joe's (my fave jeans brand!)
Necklace, J.Crew

Backpack, MCM

Sneakers, Nike

Thanks for reading! Sorry that this took me about 6 months, I thought I'd never blog again. So I told myself if I manage to stay motivated to dress up, to pose for a few shots and to record 10 OOTDs by the end of September 2015 perhaps I should start blogging again. And I did.

Really glad to be back in the blogosphere peeps! Better be late than never right?

See you soon!

XOXO,
Bev

Road Trip 2015 - Old Sacramento

2015-01-15T23:11:00.000-08:00

Ohh yeah~ Our first family trip in 2015 and it was a road trip! We drove approximately 205 miles (330km, about 3.5hours drive) to one of the most popular vacation spots in California, North Lake Tahoe. Jeez, god knows why we had the guts to do that (partially due to financial constrains, ahem) because our last road trip experience from Portland to Seattle with Chloe was a complete disaster! She N.E.V.E.R likes staying in her carseat. Be that as it may, we're so glad that we decided to take the "calculated risk," she was surprisingly great this round, thanks to Pocky sticks and roasted seaweed.

#1 Because it was a long drive and we all needed a break, we made a stop at Sacramento, the capital city of California. A very serene and laid-back city indeed.

#2 Fueling at Tower Cafe. Love its adventurous decor infused with tons of different cultural influences.

#3 Coloring makes her happy :)

#4

#5 The foods were decent, nothing extra special, also potentially due to our spoiled palates. Blame all the good restaurants in San Francisco :p

#6 This store is simply magical, located at Old Sacramento.

#7

#8 California State Railroad Museum.

#9

#10

#11 Historical building.

#12 ❤❤

#13 ❤❤

#14

#15 Walking around + sightseeing~~

#16 Love this one albeit my hideous fringe. Chean (and Photoshop) never fails me, he is the best photographer ever ;)

#17 Here's the brutal disappointment I encountered before ringing in the new year, I got a less than fortunate haircut, probably one of the worst haircuts I ever had since 12 years old. Sigh. I cincai went to a salon nearby my house because I really, very badly wanted a fresh look for 2015. Fast forward the disastrous experience, I walked home with a super awkward bangs. Sigh x100. Lesson learned, never ever visit a hair salon in haste.

Anyway... Maybe this is a good thing, a lesson in letting go... Hopefully I'll be able to keep my motivation up in blogging and finish the entire road trip posts before my bangs grow out nicely, lol... See you around~~

XOXO,
Bev

Happy 2015

2014-12-31T23:07:00.000-08:00

Wait!

I can't believe it is the last day of 2014 already, but at the same time, I can't wait for 2015. Despite three of us were all sick on Christmas week (real bummer, hope we didn't pass the cold virus to Santa), our holiday this year couldn't get any merrier. Fortune enough, we're still manage to check off most of the must-dos on our end-of-year action plan as soon as we bounced back from the cold, yay! To recapitulate the highlights from our holiday celebration, I pick 15 pics, also to welcome 20"15"...

#1 We built our very first Gingerbread House from scratch, architect at heart :p

#2

#3 That's Chocolate, yup, Chloe finally gets to taste a little bit of that. It's holiday seasons, I close two eyes lah.

#4 Unwrapping presents on Christmas Day, down with a cold but still very happy :)

#5

#6 Wine tasting in Castello di Amorosa, Napa.

#7 It was a chilly day, around 8'C.

#8 Alcohol!!! That's what holiday is all about :p

#9 And good foods, of course. Dining at Bouchon by Thomas Keller. All the dishes were super palatable, even the picky Miss Chloe agreed!

#10 It was our lucky day! We managed to catch the last carriage ride after the dinner. A truly unforgettable holiday experience!

#11 Union Square during the Holidays.

#12 She got a little upset because I promised to take her ice-skating (T___T) It was toooooo crowded baby, too packed.

#13 Galloping and prancing while waiting for the Noon Year's Eve countdown. Love this one, taken today, fresh from the oven~

#14 W.E.F.I.E of the day \(*^__^*)/

#15 Last pic of this post, also for 2014. My baby watching the 3D Nutcracker light show under the dome while waiting for the foods at one of our all-time favorite restaurants in town.

Then my baby walked up to me and said, "Happy New Year Mama! Thank you Mama, Chloe is very happy! I'm excited!" I think that pretty much summed up my "performance review" in 2014, lol...

I'm so so so thankful for 2014, utterly grateful for the smooth ride over the past 365 days and all the memorable moments we created with our loved ones, families and friends, that give me strength and courage to hug 2015 with more love, more kindness, more compassion, more patience, more acceptance, more ingenuity ❤❤

You'll be missed, 2014! Dear 2015, I want to love you harder!

XOXO,
Bev

It's all good

2014-12-16T22:20:00.002-08:00

你常说，怎么还像个孩子，总是活在自己的世界里。

哪有什么不好？
如果这辈子可以永远像个孩子，多好。
就因为你的好让我不用着急成长。

你常说，别老是心不在焉，想说什么就说啊。

很多的话想说，
不过一开口的刹那又被沉默诅咒，多难。
就因为每次说了之后又被当小孩看待。

你常说，伤神又多余的事情不要去费心。
可是费心的事，
多半是我各自伤神而你在叹息，多余。
就因为没经你核实的悲伤是多愁善感。

那天刚好，
天上飘着的毛毛细雨没被你挡着，
一丝一丝地落到我的发梢，
湿了头发，红了眼眶。
我忘了告诉你，喧哗过后的那一片寂静，

我在你的眼睛里看到了自己，
原来你爱的我是长那样子的，多美。

可你却说，在我的眼里你找不到自己。

该怎么说呢亲爱的，
如果你用真心去感受，
你其实一直就住在我的心里，多深。

有一种爱学会放手后会更懂得去爱，
有一种思念懂得心痛的感觉后会更想念。
人生只有在活出了自己之后才会精彩。
倘若我不在自己的世界里过好，怎么还有资格到你的世界里插一脚？

但这一生，我最终想要追求的，
不是轰轰烈烈或凄美的爱情，是你。
所以在我的世界里，一切一切，都很好。
因为我爱过你，我爱着你。
－－《贝薇丽的秘密》

2014年12月16日上。

没关系，痛就放声哭吧！

2014-11-10T15:21:00.001-08:00

应该是水瓶座，或者是遗传我妈的关系，我从小就是个爱哭鬼。我爱哭的路线不是嚎啕大哭的那种，而是黯然神伤独自掉泪的可怜委屈风。所以，刘小恩希也得到了我的真传，她是一个不折不扣的爱哭鬼，只不过以她目前的修行只能达到嚎啕大哭的程度。

在她的生活中有着许多莫名奇妙的哭点。。。

像几乎每个早上，起床后就放声大哭地喊着：“我要粑粑抱抱下去（到楼下去）！”
然后我和Chean哄着：“不哭啊，我们都听见了，好好说话，不用喊的哦。你好好说一次。”

像有时候自己在玩游戏时急了，又大哭起来：“想要麻麻帮你（我）fix这个！”
然后我“必需”循循善诱地说着：“宝宝不急，这个很难吗？再努力试试看。”

像我在开车时她爱给我带路：“Not this way！要去那边！不是这边！”
然后我不慌不忙地解释着：“等不急想要回家了是不是？可是回家是这条路，走那边的话回不到哦～”

在她的生活中也有着许多非常值得哭的点。。。

像有一次，她和朋友开心地追逐嬉戏时不小心被自己的鞋头绊倒，狠狠地跌了一个狗吃屎，额头肿起，她几乎失声地喊着：“麻麻。。。麻麻。。。”
然后我把她抱起，心在淌泪地安抚着，就什么也不说地安抚着。等她哭完了才说：“让麻麻看看哪里受伤了。”

像她最近生病时，发高烧吐了，她被自己的呕吐反应吓坏了，边吐边哭地说：“不要！不要！”
然后我镇定的说：“没事，没事，麻麻在。吐出来了就好了。”

像她因为严重感冒而被逼一周不能上学外出，她午觉睡醒后自己默默地掉泪：“Mama, Chloe wants to play outside.“
然后我只能无奈地对她说：”Chloe is sick, that's why we stay home this week. Does it make you sad? Let's do something fun together, something that will make you happy again.“

但其实在她的生活中，有着更多的是我和Chean都觉得非常值得哭的点，可是她勇敢。。。

像上学至今，都从未哭闹过。每一次和我们拥抱说再见后，就自己忙自己的事。
像跌到擦伤，只要不太严重的，她都不哭也不闹，继续玩乐。
像她最爱的食物被我们吃完了，只要好好解释她都能接受。
像她犯错时我对她说道理，她一般都非常乖巧地坐着听我说。
像被大孩子欺负抢玩具，她多半是被吓到后跑到我身边，或者是自己到其它角落找别的玩具，不争不抢也不闹。

还有很多，很多。。。

那天刚巧和妈妈在谈电话时，宝宝在我身后传来哭声，原来是想要到柜子里拿玩具，手指不小心被柜子夹了一下下。
妈妈说：“哎哟，告诉她不要玩柜子，玩柜子夹到手！”
“她不是玩柜子，她是想要拿玩具。”
“跟她说不可以拿，很危险会夹到手的。”
“没关系，下次她会注意。”
“哎哟，不要哭了！”
“没关系，很痛对不对？很痛可以哭啊，不用忍着，妈妈受伤痛痛的时候也会哭。哭了就好多了。”
“哎哟，叫你叫她不要哭，你就叫她哭。”

不要误会，我妈是超疼爱Chloe的，只是在她那个年代的教育观念里，孩子们都是不应该哭的，哭就是不好，就是不听话。不过对我而言，哭单纯是一种让情绪抒发和缓解的管道，我并没有特别鼓励孩子们哭，但也不觉得爱哭是什么大事。所以想要为那些因为爱哭而常被父母谴责的孩子们打抱不平。

孩子们疼痛了，委屈了，害怕了，伤心了，难过了，现在不放声大哭长大了还有机会这么做吗？
哭一下又有什么关系呢？
只要哭过后学会勇敢就好啦：）

共勉之，
Mama Bev

Favorite Pastime

2014-10-17T16:15:00.002-07:00

#1 喜欢刘小恩希的这幅涂鸦作品。恰静、不聒噪且带着一点郁郁的蓝。

#2 这是刚完成时的模样，宝宝称它为《蝴蝶》。

#3 正在努力作画中认真的小背影，好可爱。

替感冒中的宝宝取消了这个星期的课，让她待在家里休息，我想应该是在家太无聊的关系，突然变得热爱画画。我的女儿是一个很清楚自己想要做什么的孩子，或许这句话套在一个才两岁多的孩子来说很难以置信吧，可是我和Chean从很小开始察觉，她确实是个确认自己想要做的事后就会很非常专注认真的孩子（像粑粑～）。学校的老师觉得如此，家人朋友和保姆也这么说（嗯，我请保姆啦！）。所以，看着她拖着感冒的小身子，一直在那努力地完成“作品”时，心十分纠结，想要叫她休息一会儿，但又不忍心打扰她。就只能站在她身边，一会儿擦鼻涕，一会儿让喝水地伺候着，直到她说：“I'm all done！”

所以，这次的po文全是关于她这星期在家作的画，记录她努力划下的色彩。

#4 The Giraffe Spots《长颈鹿的斑点》。她说，她看见了兔子还有米奇老鼠。

#5 握着画笔的早晨七点钟。

#6 这《At The Zoo》是她用两个小时完成的。涂累了，放着，躺在地上；发闷了，放着，去玩别的。但只要她没说“I'm all done” 我都将她的画摆着，让她可以随时继续涂鸦她的“作品”。

#7 正在用Magic Nuudles建造动物园的栏杆呢，我快笑飙泪了～

#8 用功ing。

#9 你能看见她所谓的《Penguin》吗？她特别强调只有一只哦～

然后，我把这副画分享到Facebook时很多人都能看见那只企鹅耶，连Chean也看到！唯独麻麻我找不着，呜呜～于是决定再三请问宝宝那只企鹅到底在哪儿...

Mommy: Baby, where is the penguin?
Chloe: It's hiding...
Mommy: Hiding?!
Chloe: It's A.B.S.T.R.A.C.T!
Mommy: *dumbfounded*

Daddy: Where are the penguin's eyes?
Chloe: *point to the pic* Right here...
Daddy: (turns his head to me) See, told you it's a profile.

深深地让我上了一课，想起了《小王子》著作。唉，我这思想狭窄的大人，必须更努力地解读孩子丰富的想象力。

#10 这是今早做的《The Happy Popsicles》。哈哈，她太爱冰淇淋和冰棒了！很明显还在想念上个周末吃过的味道！

#11 《开心的冰棒》。因为那时阿姨正在打扫中，所以只能让她小幅度地作画，要知道收拾是蛮头疼的，哈哈～

以上就是刘小恩希最近热爱的事，喜欢涂鸦，喜欢调色，喜欢探索。这或许是天赋，或许就只是单纯的嗜好，其实对于我来说都无所谓，小孩总是对身边的事充满好奇心，说不好下星期又会恋上不同的新玩意，这都没关系，成长是她自己的，要玩什么，要学习什么，选择权当然在她。所以我一直觉得自己在教育上的责任，从来就只是满足她及辅助她完成她想要完成的事而已。优不优秀，成不成才都是其次，我和Chean只想要让她做一个自由的孩子。

#12 ❤❤

共勉之，
Mama Bev