Bevs World

Life goes on...

2025-02-03T08:55:00.004+01:00

Monday 3rd February 2025

It's been 3 weeks since I blogged, so much going on in my world and my head that I've just not wanted to sit and write, for a change I didn't want to put my thoughts and emotions down whilst we were dealing with our loss and waiting to find out if there would be an autopsy to find out cause of death. After almost 2 weeks the coroner said they weren't going to do one and they would put prostrate cancer as cause of death, but the medical examiner disagreed and we finally got the result on Friday. Cardiac arrest was my brothers primary cause of death, I expected heart attack or similar so this was a relief. There were other contributors on the death certificate including Ischaemic Heart Disease Coronary Artery Atherosclerosis, but also Hypertension, Chronis Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. Now we know he'd got cancer but he obviously decided he was gonna have some say in what took him! He had started vaping - did that contribute to the COPD? You decide but I don't think this vaping is any better than smoking - but I'm not one to judge when I drink alcohol and overeat. We all have our vices!

Grieving isn't a linear journey is it and I've gone through a range of emotions so far, the first couple of weeks I felt like I was on autopilot, going through the motions, numb to things. The tears came regularly, my sleep went to pot, my appetite out of control - I couldn't fill myself up, it definitely wasn't a time to think about weight loss!

Then there was the first time we went back to the pub we spent our last night together, I thought I was okay, sat down and couldn't hold back the tears, same on Friday when we went to Millride where we took him that last day, I couldn't hold back the tears there either - not that I feel you should either. Feel the emotions whatever they may be.

Now to prepare for the funeral, we should get a date for that today and we can plan to give him a great send off, his girls are amazing and will continue to make him proud, it's the only upside of this whole situation, spending time with them.

No more sadness today, I'm blessed to have a family I love, my boys have been there for me, we're getting through it all together.

I do however need to get my appetite back under control because my jean don't fit me, I'm living in leggings! I've started my day with a cheese and chive omelette, I've got tonight's dinner planned making use of freezer food, that's the plan this week, try not to shop for much - just the essentials.

Eating healthy of course isn't just about getting back in my jeans (although I'd like that a lot), it's about taking care of your body to give yourself the best chance of a healthy life.

Here's to a healthier day....

Mwah, luv u

Love me xx

Ramblings of a middle aged women (is 55 still middle-aged?)

2025-01-14T07:34:00.004+01:00

Tuesday 14th January 2025

I don't really remember what I wrote in yesterdays blog, I never do to be honest, I just sit - type - post without much thought, I always have, it's my way of processing stuff, it always helped when I was caring for mom through her dementia journey.

I had so many wonderful comments on my blog, a heartfelt thank you to everyone who took the time to do that, it was very much appreciated.

"What a shit start to the year for you"

"Life is a bastard"

and other such messages were sent to me yesterday but let's not think that way, it wasn't the start of the year, my year started happily in Ireland with the man I love, in bed cos we'd been there since about half nine because we're rock and roll and we were sleeping not doing that sheet dancing stuff.

Elle's diagnosis wasn't the start of the year either, it was early December.

The dates things happen are irrelevant and they don't dictate how the rest of the year will turn out. Life can be unfair sometimes but it can be unfair for everyone which actually makes it fair doesn't it!

IT IS WHAT IT IS! That's Elle's go to saying since her diagnosis and she's spot on and the sooner we all accept that, the easier life is. You can't fight what you have no control of, so stop trying.

My brothers last day was spent laughing, smiling and being a devil, he rocked up at my house about half 11 in the morning with a mission to go on the piss! That man shouldn't have lasted the first year after his diagnosis, the doctor who told him he had it said 'you're riddled with cancer mate' he had an excellent bedside manner obviously, hell Mark had only gone to the hospital with a bad shoulder and he came out with Prostate Cancer and crazy PSA levels they'd rarely if ever seen! We Longsden's don't do things by halves do we!

However today would've been the 6th year anniversary - that's saying FUCK YOU to cancer if ever anyone did, but back to Saturday, I believe he knew, maybe not consciously but something in his head told him to come to mine. He nipped to his other sisters first, took the piss out of her and her husband for two hours, nicked her jammie dodgers then gave her a hug and told her he loved her before rocking up at mine.

He called me to ask if I was in and asked if he could come round, when I hung up the phone himself said, good job you said yes because he's already outside :) From the minute he came through the door he wanted us to go to the pub but we slowed him down by taking him with us to do some Clay Pigeon shooting, then we had to pick up the motorhome from being cleaned so we kept him away from the bar for an extra 4 hours.

We did have a good chat in the pub talking about our childhood, he shot a hole in my Christmas teddy bear with his pellet gun on Christmas day when I was a kid, he tried to blame our Terry but there aren't many things I remember in life but that incident was one of them, he apologised and said he'd buy me a new one lol. Even when I left he continued to tell himself about my dad and our lives as kids - some would say we had a really hard time but all I remember is my mothers love and that was all we needed. We never starved, we might have lived on the choice of two meals - egg and chips or chips and egg but we never went hungry. We looked like knobs in second hand clothes that didn't fit us and free school uniform but hey, that was all character building!

I have 3 brothers, sorry had and what always made me smile is how much they loved each other but when they were with me individually they'd slag each other off, Mark would tell me what a knob our Terry and Ian were, Terry and Ian would slag Mark and as Terry and Ian are still alive what they say about each other to me will remain with me :)

Oh and just for the record, I also slag all my siblings off, Saturday when we got back to the car at Millride whilst Mark was still chatting with an old friend he'd bumped into, I said to himself "Will you stop being nice to my family and inviting them out with us" I'm proper laughing at that now because he looked at me with disgust and said that's just being polite Bev to which my response was 'STOP BEING POLITE THEN!" It was only because I don't like an audience when I shoot nor an expert NOT telling me how to do it.

He's said no relative is allowed to stay at our house ever again because he can't go through another dying on us again!

What's made us all smile was that wetroom was fitted for mom when she was ill and we all put towards it but he loved to say he paid for it, we he obviously thought 'I paid for it, I'll die in it - that'll show em!' Got his money's worth there didn't he.

He was so bloody happy sitting in my living room having the crack when I came down to tell em to be quiet, he looked like a naughty kid being told off. In the pub earlier he'd told me how much he loved the relationship I had now, how we were with each other. He thanked me again for taking care of his mom, said he'd never be able to thank me enough for that and he hugged me and told me he loved me before I left the pub too.

We won't know for a few days if they'll want to do a post mortem but it's likely because of the drug trials he was part of, he was all for letting them try everything and anything on him to keep his cancer at bay and help them learn more. He was a very, clever man our Mark, an annoying man, but a loving man who realised (maybe too late) that money and success wasn't as important as people and love but as soon as he was diagnosed he loved harder than he ever had, he embraced life and did as much as he could, having as many experiences as possible.

Am I okay? No of course not - will I be - absolutely because that's the way I'm made. Every time I open my eyes in the night, I see his face, I can't sit on the loo without seeing him there - that doesn't make for a comfortable bathroom experience! The towel rail is bent where he must have tried to catch himself, I made the mistake of trying to work out what happened, putting myself where he would've been - that's just a silly thing to do and will only mess with my head so I won't be doing that again. These thoughts and feelings will fade, I don't need to stop using that bathroom, life goes on and we have to too.

He had told me that I needed to go swimming and get back to the gym again, gave me advice on my pain so I'm gonna do that because my big brother told me too.

It's so easy to say 'fk it, life's too short, you might as well eat and drink what you want because you're gonna die anyway', but that's bullshit and just a cop out, life will be even shorter if you have that mentality. Instead let's do our best to make life healthier and longer by taking care of ourselves as best as we can. Eat healthy, drink sensibly (if you want to stop altogether crack on, I won't be doing that), do some exercise or activity of some kind - take care of your body, it's the only place you have to live.

We only die once - We live every day!

2025-01-13T08:31:00.004+01:00

Monday 13th January 2025

I knew this weekend was going to be difficult but little did I know how difficult! I struggled through our chat at the huddle Saturday morning knowing it would be the last on for a while that Elle and I would do together as she is going to be starting Chemo this week and was going to tell our members after we'd finished via a video. It suddenly hit me as we were talking and I was trying (and failing) to hold back tears, thankfully I'd lost my ring that morning so those members who noticed my behaviour thought it was because of that.

When I got home my brother Mark called to ask if I was in and if he could come round, I said yes which as a good job as he was already outside! Imagine if I'd said I was out :)

We had a lovely day even though my heart and head was elsewhere a lot of the time, thinking about Elle having to tell her young daughter such difficult news. We took him with us to Millride shooting, where he loved it, he had a go and also bumped into an old pal who he chatted to for ages.

When we got back he suggested we went out for a few drinks and some food, said it could be my birthday treat a week early. It was so cold wasn't it Saturday so I didn't even get changed, just wasn't up for it but I did go down and we enjoyed a huge mixed grill which we all shared. Mark and Aryn chatted gaming stuff and he asked Aryn about his exams, told him if he passed them all he'd buy him a PS5 pro or the latest iPhone :) Aryn left us once he'd eaten, then I left about half eight, my head wasn't up for an all nighter and I was tired, I told them both to enjoy the rest of the night as I could tell he wanted a good night.

Well they came back at closing time and woke me up with the telly playing music and them talking above it, so I went down and said 'can we turn the disco down lads', 'why is it loud' was their reply, erm a little yea, and you're having to talk louder to hear each other. I walked away smiling, happy to see them enjoying each others company.

I woke about 3 ish with himself next to me and I could hear Mark snoring downstairs which again made me smile because he'd said earlier that he love to just get 6 hours sleep!

I woke at 7, my phone makes a noise to tell me to take my tablets, I did consider ignoring it but instead got up. As I walked down the stairs I could hear the extractor fan in the bathroom so I knew they'd left the light on - drunken dickheads I thought.

I went to turn it off, opened the door and Mark's lying on the bathroom floor - stupidly the first thought that went through my head was 'why are you sleeping on the floor in here Mark, you could've slept on the sofa!' Then I realised that wasn't the case, I tried to wake him, couldn't, I couldn't work out if he was asleep, unconscious or dead. I woke himself and called 999. They talked me through CPR whilst he went to get the defibrillator from the Ashmore pub but the ambulance arrived before he got back.

It was pointless anyway, he'd been dead since about half five.

The next few hours are a bit of a blur, contacting family members, talking to the ambulance people and police, dealing with the undertakers. His daughters and their mom arriving and his partner and her son. A hell of a day.

I don't really remember much of the rest of the day we just got through it, I ate a cold McDonalds that was fetched for me and a bit of some Chinese later before going to bed at half seven exhausted.

The practicalities begin now don't they, taking the piece of paper they gave us to his GP and he'll decide whether to do an autopsy or not, then registering the death etc.

At least I know he had a fab last day, he wasn't alone and his daughters didn't have to find him, I'm taking comfort in that. Almost 6 years to the day since he was diagnosed with cancer and told he'd probably not last the year - but he did because he's a stubborn bastard - YEP HE'S A LONGSDEN!

Every day doesn't have to be perfect!

2025-01-11T07:39:00.002+01:00

Saturday 11th January 2025

It was a busy day yesterday so I didn't blog, we left early to fetch his car so spend almost 6 hours on the road, but the drive back meant I got to listen to a few hours of my audiobook, so I enjoyed that, traffic wasn't too bad either thankfully.

Food wise, I had a BLT sandwich at services which wasn't all that and a costa cappuccino, which I enjoyed, although all the caffeine I had yesterday meant I haven't had a great nights sleep! We also stopped at a cafe for the loo on way back and had bacon, brie and cranberry baguette which was all that but I was very good and only ate half, gave him my other half, they weren't huge baguettes either so it could've been worse.

I did indulge in some wine but I also made an effort to make a healthy dinner of pork medallions and couscous which was tasty.

It's not about being perfect, life happens, things get in the way, sometimes you just have to do the best you can. I did go over yesterday, I enjoyed a Thorntons too, plus a cracker with a bit of cheese but it wasn't a plate full so that's progress. It's not what you do on one day, it's what happens over the week. As you can see I've had more days on track than off and looking at my Fitbit I've burned more calories over the week, maybe not yesterday but I was sat down the majority of the day.

It's been a hell of a time since December, lots going on, illness in the family so if the worst thing I am and my biggest personal problem is that I'm overweight - aren't I blessed! Yes I'm in pain but it's not life threatening and I can work at losing some weight to help me try and ease some of this pain.

Have no idea of food today, I think I'll take beef out the freezer for Sunday, have a nice roast dinner, will see what we have in there to tempt us today.

Looking forward to the huddle this morning, then we'll see what the day brings.

Have a great weekend.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me cc

Another day tracked

2025-01-09T07:46:00.005+01:00

Thursday 9th January 2025

Short blog this morning as I posted some of this yesterday I think, breakfast was mushrooms on toast, I added a little milk to the pan to stop the mushrooms from sticking and to help them cook without oil whilst the soft cheese melted, really enjoyed this meal for under 200 calories (without the mugs of tea/coffee), quick to cook too.

I went to the gym straight from huddle for the first time this and walked a mile on the treadmill, it almost made me cry with pain but hopefully as I lose weight it'll get easier, my knees not as painful as it has been so maybe it's helped. I still wouldn't want to walk round and stand on it for hours but I didn't wince as much as I usually do coming down the stairs this morning.

Lunch was leftover hotpot with veggies, those sprouts were so good but I left some of the carrot I was full and hadn't thought there was already carrots in the hotpot.

I was surprised to find myself hungry again at tea time so I cooked the leftover chicken thighs from the pack I'd bought for the hotpot, I removed all the skin and bones and weighed my 2 pieces and served it with this microwave Dal Tarka that I'd bought to try before Christmas, the whole packet was 258 calories, it cost £1.85 and tasted okay, not sure I'd eat it again as a main but as a side if we were having fakeaway Indian, it'd be great.

It tasted better than it looks.

I ended my day on 1587 calories, I did enjoy some wine and eat a banana, the app says I had 9.2 of my f-a-day but they do count 2 portions of mushrooms as 2 of your 5 but that should only be 1 as the 5 should be different things. I still hit the five easy, mushrooms, sprouts, carrots, onions, cabbage, banana, lentils (yes lentils count).

Fitbit says I did 9,924 steps and burned 2,080 calories, even managed 10 minutes in the active zone, it doesn't show the 25 minutes in the pain zone ;)

I've ha a good nights sleep 8h 38m apparently, sleep score 86, I left the heating on when I went to bed because I was cold all night but woke up at 1am warm, thirsty and needing the loo - so came down and turned the heating off and had a glass of water, need to remember to take a glass/bottle with me to bed as it does help me drink that extra 500ml a day when I do that. I'm drinking about a litre of water a day, so I could work on increasing that, see if that helps my joint pain.

Anyway I need to get ready for work, I'm sat here in my dressing gown and haven't thought about breakfast. I've got a really busy day, 3 huddles and parents evening after work tonight which makes me laugh 5 minutes per teacher - that's crazy, what are you supposed to be able to cover in 5 minutes.

Here's to a great day, I've bought a ready made lasagne for tea so I don't have to cook, that'll sort the boys easily and I can just have a portion with some salad I think.

Catch ya tomo,

Luv u

Love me xx

Great start to the year...

2025-01-08T16:00:00.001+01:00

Wednesday 8th January 2025

Well it's been over a month since I blogged and I've had a wonderful Christmas, a lovely rest and time with the family. Bonus I maintained my weight which you can imagine pleased me enormously but now it's time to lose some weight.

I indulged but didn't go crazy, I had my usual Christmas breakfast of a bottle of prosecco with orange juice :) I enjoyed some Bailey's, Whiskey, Port - all the important stuff - not all in one day of course and yes I did eat food too!

I opened my Nutracheck app on January 1st and I've 100% honestly tracked since, that probably helped me with the maintain when I weighed on Tuesday.

I'm eating some delicious food, trying to think a bit more about what I eat and realising once again how much I really enjoy healthy food. Here's some of the meals I've eaten this year proving you can eat great food and it's why I love calories because you can have anything as long as you count it, don't have to miss out on a glass of red.

This is everything tracked so far this year,

This is how many calories my Fitbit says I've burned so hopefully next week I'll get a weight loss.

I'm going to start blogging again to help keep me on track, I need to lose weight to help my pain, my knee is in bits and weight loss will help ease the pain. I've got a telephone appointment to discuss the xray on Monday but I've already seen the comments from the Consultant Radiologist, it's not pretty tri-compartmental moderate change most marked in the medial compartment which from googling is tri-compartmental osteoarthritis which affects the whole knee and there's no cure, just painkillers, steroids and ultimately a knee replacement, so let's lose some weight to hopefully give me some relief.

On a positive, I went back to the gym today and managed to walk a mile on the treadmill slowly, it took me 25 minutes and I could've cried at the end it as so painful but I did it, this time last year I couldn't walk for 5 minutes because of my back, yeah I've got spondylolisthesis too, how lucky am I to have all these long worded conditions!

slow and steady, if I could lose 1/2lb a week, that's almost 2 stone by Christmas, 1lb a week would be 52lb which is almost the weight of a sack of spuds!

Every pound lost is the equivalent of 4lb of pressure off my knee, that's my motivation and I need to not forget it!

What's your motivation? Let's do this together - make 2025 our year! You in?

Enjoying life.

2024-12-02T07:00:00.003+01:00

Monday 2nd December 2024

Well I survived the week and thoroughly enjoyed the weekend, I tracked 5 out of the 7 days, but the two days I didn't I wasn't overeating and going mad, I still ate sensibly. We ate out Friday night, had curry, I tracked that and was sensible. Saturday was Aryn's birthday and we went to Miller & Carter where again I enjoyed a starter and main but didn't eat all my main as I was full. I have to say the starter was divine, Burrata - velvety burrata cheese, balsamic roasted beetroot, lovage pesto (523cals) it really was so good, I'd eat that regularly as a meal if it was a little lower in calories!

I'm now craving 'proper' chicken tikka masala as the one I ordered on Friday wasn't like the ones we used to get when we went for an Indian on a Friday night, I'll have to treat myself from Masala Lounge at some point because the Lancaster's just isn't the same!

Yesterday I made slow cooker beef chilli con carne, the lads loved it but it's not a meal I enjoy so I didn't have a very big portion.

It was Aryn's birthday Saturday we were supposed to go Karting but they cancelled it once we'd got there because of condensation, so he missed out there, although he didn't seem to mind too much at least we had a lovely meal.

I've been up since 2am to drive him part way to work, he was meeting someone to take him the rest of the way as he's picking his car up Friday to come home, at least the motorway was very quiet.

I'm going to do the domestic goddess routine today, there's piles of washing to be ironed and/or folded, everywhere needs cleaning and tidying and I have some errands to run too, so a busy day before my work week starts tomorrow! I will be cooking a roast pork dinner though as I missed a Sunday roast yesterday and Aryn can have pork sandwiches for school too tomorrow then.

I need lots of veggies as I've been taking painkillers and without too much detail, they bung you up and that's not my norm so I need to counteract that issue!

I was going to go swimming today but it's forecast dry so I'd rather do something outdoors and go swimming Wednesday when it's going to rain.

But before any of that, I'm catching up on I'm a celeb as it's only 6am!

Here's to surviving another week,

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

Love an easy pasta bake

2024-11-29T08:55:00.002+01:00

Friday 29th November 2024

Another day in the bag and I even had a chocolate chip cookie! Breakfast was a couple of eggs scrambled just to say I'd had something, I really could've had a breakfast baguette from Greggs but it's not a habit I want to get into every week! They kept me physically satisfied until lunch time when I had a can of soup, it was edible, I wouldn't buy it again, Baxters super good pea, broccoli and basil pesto, nah I preferred the asparagus one.

I made a pasta bake before going back to work and I really didn't fancy it, I'd only made so lads could microwave some. Having said that, when I got back and had a bowl, I really enjoyed it and would eat again. Maybe next time I won't put the cheese on beforehand, I'll let everyone put how much they want on their portion because instead of the 30g on mine which cost 125 calories, I'd have a tablespoon of grated parmesan which is 5g for 21 calories - not a bad difference!

I added 4 oxo cubes to calm the tomato flavour down and it works, diced the onion and fried with the mince, I could've used 5% to save more calories but it was on a whoopsie would've took 420 calories off the total recipe though. I used rigatoni for the first as Elle said it made a difference and it did, I'm thinking I might do a cannelloni recipe soon, that would be nice. I like that sauce as it has hidden veg and counts as 1 of your 5 a day, I also grated a carrot into the meal. Yeah I'd do that again.

I've managed 8hrs 17m sleep, I'll take that, got Aryn's birthday tomorrow, so need to wrap a couple of things and fetch his birthday cookie, that's the only must do thing on my list.

I do have a poorly man on my hands though, oh the drama of a male having a cough! Joking aside I really hope it doesn't turn into a chest infection, I do not want him ill over Christmas again!

Oh I've just realised I haven't thought about food for today yet, I'll have eggs for breakfast, I've not defrosted anything, can't have fish as we've all had that this week, he had fish and chips yesterday for lunch. I need to get my thinking cap on, maybe a curry to clear his head, mmm yeah, just not sure which meat, ooo beef curry I have some nice pieces that have been there a while yeah I'll go get it out of freezer now, it should be okay.

Right here's to surviving Friday, I can do it = positive thoughts.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me

Here's to a busy day 4!

2024-11-28T06:44:00.002+01:00

Thursday 28th November 2024

Up early this morning, not a great nights sleep, but I survived another day on track, I went 62 calories over but that's all good, I enjoyed a treat, had a bit of ham and a slice of bread on night, plus a bit of baileys :)

My main meals yesterday were a lush omelette, adding just 7g grated parmesan helped make that even better.

This was also lush, on offer in Sainsbury's cod and chips with parmesan coated courgette, best cod I've eaten in a very long time.

I did almost 7k steps which is quite good for me, fitbit says I burned 2046 calories so at least I ate a few less, 7hrs 28m sleep so let's get through day 4, I'm thinking omelette to get me through the morning and stop me going in Greggs for a breakfast baguette! Then I'm making pasta bake for dinner so it can be microwaved when we're ready to eat as Aryn's coming home after I've gone back to work. I think I might have a tin of soup for lunch when I get back. That's my day sorted and all planned.

Busy day so when I finish this drink, I'll get ready and maybe prep the pasta bake - nah it'll wait till I get back, it's only chopping an onion, maybe a carrot to hide in the bake, I've got a pepper I could throw in, it's an easy meal.

I'm waffling now, trying to watch last nights I'm a celeb at the same time, I couldn't and wouldn't go in that jungle and do those trials, not even for money!

Here's to a day of busy and being happy not being rich, I'd rather have calorie free food than cash lol.

Mwah, have a wonderful day xx

Luv u

Love me xx

A weight loss on weigh day - who knew!

2024-11-27T07:41:00.003+01:00

Wednesday 27th November 2024

Well who'd have thought it, after not having the best few weeks, I went and lost 2lb yesterday! I'm ending the month 1/2lb heavier than I started it, I'll take that, I weigh the same as I did on 19th Sept, so all is not lost, here's to day 3 of being back on track.

Yesterday I ended the day on just over 1,000 calories, not intentional but I didn't have breakfast forgetting I wouldn't be home till almost 2pm, when I got in I had a can of soup, this was lush if you like asparagus.

I also had a banana and a punnet of raspberries, trying to improve my fruit intake, I don't love it but I can handle bananas at least, I was given the raspberries, they're edible.

I'd put a chicken in the slow cooker but put it on low instead of high so I had to put it on high when I got back which meant it took longer too make. When it finally cooked, I mixed some of it in the broth with yellow pepper, savoy cabbage, green beans and wholemeal noodles. Added flavour with soy sauce and ketjap manis (I found it in my cupboard, must have bought for a recipe once but it's nice) I wasn't sure this meal would work but it did, I forgot to take a photo of it in the bowl but it was very filling.

So much so I didn't eat again yesterday.

Today I'm starting my day in a bit with an omelette, mushrooms and tomatoes added I think, then we're having fish and chips for dinner. I've got a busy day so that'll distract me from food thinking which is always a good thing.

Had a decent nights sleep even though I was up early, that really helps get through the day when you're not tired. Pain levels moderate which is much better, I can tell I went swimming but its only a bit of muscle pain, although my right shoulder isn't impressed from it ;) My bloody hands hurt in this damp weather more than normal too. Damn my body is not loving this time of year at all.

Okay, right repeat after me -

It’s going to be a great day.”

Let's believe it will be, have a positive start to the day, let's cultivate a morning habit of optimism!

We got this BeYOUtiful.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me c

I managed a swim!

2024-11-26T07:46:00.002+01:00

Tuesday 26th November 2024

Okay so I made it through Day 1, I forced myself to the pool for a swim and managed about 45 minutes so was pleased with that, what did make me smile on my Fitbit was this 100 readiness, it's all very well doing steps and burning calories but I'm reading this as my body is good overall getting enough sleep etc.

My step count wasn't high but I got the rest I needed from lacking in sleep at the weekend, I wake up every hour most nights which isn't great for rest.

Back to yesterday this was my food diary,

I needed that veg and I need to continue to make sure I include plenty going forward, I still only consumed 17.4g fibre over the day, it's not easy to hit 30g daily!

I was in bed by by half eight and my app says I managed 8hrs 16m getting up at 6am but again waking up every hour but at least I've had sleep.

I'm going to put a chicken in the slow cooker this morning, have some with noodles for our dinner later and can use some to make sandwiches tomo, £4 for a medium one in Sainsbury's so cheaper than sandwich meat really. I better go do that as I have to make todays sarnies too.

Here's to surviving another day, busy day today so that'll help keep me out the kitchen cupboards.

Hope you had a good day too and are ready for this one.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Line drawn AGAIN!

2024-11-25T08:30:00.001+01:00

Monday 25th November 2024

There's just not enough hours in the day to do everything! I'm not a huge fan of this time of year, the greyness of it all, the damp makes my joints hurt and I get a bit grumpy so anything that can put a smile on my face is welcomed. Saturday night that came in the form of a lovely Turkish meal at Babba's Grill in Willenhall, a lovely meal out with himself, my brother and his wife, delicious food and would recommend. I love to try new foods and this didn't disappoint.

The last photo wasn't the full plate we'd all tucked in too quickly, chicken wings and Turkish sausage were lush, the best halloumi I've ever eaten, salad I'd eat every day if I could make it taste that way! Same with the rice, mine never tastes like that!

I have woke up this morning knowing I need to get a grip of my 'diet', it wasn't what I ate Saturday night either that's the reason, it's what I'm eating and drinking every other day! I've gone into self destruct, I'm just not thinking about my health at all. Just because I'm an expert in this subject doesn't mean I do it, I can motivate and educate others but I don't always do it to myself.

I'm in pain, my knee is driving me mad, I have made an appointment to get it looked like in December. My common sense is screaming LOSE SOME DAMN WEIGHT WOMAN, but my I hate the winter and feel a bit grumpy side is stupidly thinking with crazy logic 'MY OTHER KNEE DOESN'T HURT SO WHY WOULD LOSING WEIGHT MAKE A DIFFERENCE!'. How stupid am I being!

I've given myself a talking too suggesting I focus on tracking and cutting back a little in the week because I'm in charge of the meals, he's not here to lead me astray so I have no excuses. It's a start.

I've just done an inventory of the freezer to see what I have to cook, I'm going to work with that so I don't need to do a big shop, just buy a few bits to make meals.

I've taken lamb chops out that I bought on a whoopsie, just looked up the calories and ouch, half the pack is 732 calories but I'm still going to have them with some cauliflower & broccoli rice I have and lots of veggies.

Aryn's having sandwiches for school and thankfully he likes the thick, tiger bread which I really don't like so I'm not tempted to eat that bread.

I'm thinking omelette for breakfast, I'm enjoying them at the moment. I also need to force myself to go swimming or to the gym, I'm scared that I'll end up in more pain but if I don't try I won't know so as cold and damp as it is, I'm going to go swimming.

It seems crazy to reset this close to Christmas but I could do a hell of a lot of damage in the 29 days leading up to Christmas day, so I'll do my best to have a few good weeks. We're out Saturday for a meal for Aryn's birthday but one meal does not blow a week.

I GOT THIS - I actually haven't but I do believe in fake it till you make it, so I'm gonna say I have and see how it goes. Thankfully there's not much to be tempted by in this house so I can give myself a headstart.

I'm going to plan a few meals for the next few days, so lamb today, I'm thinking pork mince and pasta or noodles tomorrow, maybe a pasta bake because I'm out most of the day. Wednesday I have a bit more time so can spend longer in the kitchen, ooo I have a pork joint that I could cook have some with noodles and there would maybe be a bit left for his sandwiches. I also have giant fish fingers which I'm not gonna make into a sandwich but do with mash or chips and beans I think. Now I fancy that today the fish fingers but I won't! No need to buy any food now except a bit of fresh fruit/veg to go with it if needed.

Basically this weather makes me lazy and I can't be bothered to do stuff then that's a viscous cycle because I end up making or buying easy food and sitting on my backside watching tele, I need to get my ass off the couch and do stuff again because being lazy and eating junk makes you feel even worse.

I will go sort my swimming costume out now ready to get to the pool this morning that will hopefully wake me up and I can get the other stuff done later that has to be done sitting down, at least I'll have done something.

I hope you're doing better than me, if not maybe have a word with yourself like I have and let's just focus on today.

We can do this xx

Mwah, luv ya

Love me

Food shouldn't taste so good!

2024-11-11T08:43:00.004+01:00

Monday 11th November 2024

It's never a bad thing to start over if you feel you need to! Anyone who knows me, knows I regularly start over with refocusing on my eating habits - I JUST BLOOMIN LOVE FOOD! Plus the little 'issue' of red wine too :)

Today, I'll try again to lose a few pounds before Christmas because I really do want to be able to drink Baileys and eat chocolate over the holidays without panicking that my clothes won't fit me on January 2nd!

If I can lose a bit then I can gain a bit - not the best attitude for some I guess but that is me and I'm not likely to change at almost 55! Could I? Of course! Will I? Nah, I like being me, even with the spare tyre. Don't get me wrong if I woke up tomo two stone lighter, I'd be good with that but am I will to not do all the things that cause that extra weight - erm NAH, I'm not.

However, I'm having a word with myself again and asking if I'm willing to tweak a little and aim for making small changes even if they're not every day. Yeah I am, I'm going for slow, slow, slow going forward because it's not working the other way. I lose a couple of pound when I haven't expected too and then I think I've got it nailed.

This week I will work at tracking everything to try and understand how my metabolism works, ooo I like the idea of the run up to Christmas as being me pressing a massive reset button and using this time as a pre run for next year, me getting to know my body again and what works, what doesn't.

I've planned our meals for the next four evenings, using up leftover pork for a spaghetti and sauce dish today, Aryn can have leftover steak with chips tomo and I'll have egg and beans with mine, I'm doing taco beef I think Wednesday and Chicken Nashville on Thursday, a packet mix thing that was reduced in Tesco, I have a couple of frozen breasts that can go with that.

If I can use up all the stuff I've got in the freezer, stay away from shops, I'll be able to do a bit of Christmas shopping for stocking fillers.

Despite the lack of losing weight, I've had a wonderful week, went back to the gym, we had a lesson at Millride Saturday after a nice quiet night in the Lancaster, they had a singer who was actually very good, the music was just too loud where we were sat so had to move. Maybe I'm just getting old!

Life is good regardless of the number on the scales, it's not my fault, dinner shouldn't taste so delicious :)

Right, I have a busy day, so I better get started.

Hope you're world is good and your mind is calm.

Have a great day,

Mwah, luv ya

Love me!

50 days - seriously!

2024-11-04T06:51:00.002+01:00

Monday 4th November 2024

It's been a few weeks since I blogged, getting up early and having stuff to do, I just haven't had time, plus I feel like I'm just writing the same things over and over, then there's stuff I can't include because it involves others who don't want to be wrote about or it's stuff I can't share on social media for reasons I've been advised not to.

Let's focus on the stuff I can share then :) I can't believe how quickly that time has gone, it bonkers, there's only 50 days left time Christmas, that's just madness, I haven't even began to think about it, never mind have the money to cover it. That's scary! The same questions every year - what shall I buy them!

Back to now, I can't be thinking about that today! So it's been a week since we were side swiped in the car driving home, insurance company said the car was an uneconomical repair so they would be writing it off. I didn't want to lose it, I can't get a car like that for the money they were going to give me. We decided to keep it, get the difference between what they'd have paid us minus the value CoParts would give them for it and fix it ourselves which we've done. The only job now is to get the alloys sorted but they can wait, we've had it MOT'd as requested by the insurance company and it passed. This meant Saturday was mostly spent sorting that!

The weekends gone too quickly as they always do, we enjoyed it though and I made a lovely lamb Sunday dinner, love the dehydrate option in my Ninja, it cooks lamb and beef so well. We had an early night and I got up at 3.30am as he was off and I like to make him a drink and make sure he goes lol. Couldn't go back to sleep, tried and failed so I'm catching up on Big Brother and I've just had poached eggs on toast using Jamie's way, it wasn't the best, the yolk was perfect but the white just disappeared through the slots! PaulFosterChef (@paulfosterchef) Official | TikTok This version has worked for me in the past.

We're having lasagne for tea, I remembered to take it out the freezer yesterday YAY! I'm gonna go to the gym this morning, I want to build up some strength in my arms and I'm back doing some of my physio exercises because of my back/leg, I've resorted to pain killers for a bit cos I need to sleep.

Can't believe Aryn's back at school this morning, where did those two weeks go! We've eaten out and had takeaways so the scales haven't gone down but only went up a little so it's all good.

Coco and I are having a bit of love on the sofa, he purrs so loudly bless him, had him 2 years now which means he's about 5 years old, gorgeous boy he is.

Apart from the gym and planning our Be Happy Owls chat, I'm going to have a chill out day, I'll wash up and tidy the kitchen but that's my lot, I have control of the remote and I plan to use it ;)

I'll be having an early night too, cos I have the bed to myself - yay.

Damn I love my life, told ya it was boring :)

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

Blown Away Weekend!

2024-10-21T16:23:00.002+02:00

Monday 21st October 2024

What a different weekend to last weekend, same place but the weather WOW! Almost 50mph winds and dreadful rain thanks to Storm Ashley but we still had a lovely weekend, thankfully I arrived before it started.

I drove down after our huddle Saturday morning, took me 45 minutes to get from J10 M6 to J8, thankfully after that it was clear, we put the MH on a different pitch so we could have a meal and drink without having to have a taxi or walk far to get back. Sadly the pub we chose didn't live up to our expectations! Chewy steak which I left, this was dealt with badly by the chef who told the waitress to inform me that this cut of beef is chewy! SERIOUSLY lol, I'm like forget it, he went to pay bill and they knocked 10% off the steak - £1.80, ridiculous, then they offered us a free dessert because they could see I wasn't pleased, we declined, I wanted a dinner not a pudding! The owner then bought me a free drink over which just made things worse tbh, we drank up and left, I gave the waitress a tip because it wasn't her fault and I could tell she was mortified with the situation. As we're almost back out the van, a lady came running towards us asking if I was the one who returned the steak, I'm assuming she was also the owner, I said yes and she went on to apologise and informed me she'd had words with the chef and went to hand me the money for my meal. I said 'it was never about the money, it was the fact the steak wasn't good and she could give the money to the waitress because she'd had to handle the situation' so my dinner Saturday was chips and a few mushrooms and tomatoes lol.

Thankfully we had a dvd to watch in the van because there was no phone/wifi signal either - early night for us!

The wind was dreadful all night and the rain was lashing down, those poor people in the field in tents! Sunday morning we moved the MH early in case the tree by us decided to blow over in the winds. We went back to his regular pitch and spend the rest of the day watching tv and chilling.

We did indulge in crisps so I wasn't on track this weekend at all. Hey Ho, line drawn, back to it, I'm home now and I'm going to chill out for the rest of the day, the jobs can all wait till tomorrow!

I listened to a great audiobook driving down and back, Honeymoon for One by Portia Macintosh, easy read, funny (I even laughed out loud at it) and romance, no depth at all but I'd just done a deep read, I wanted light.

Here's to improving my eating this week, although I'd love a slice of victoria sponge for some reason which is random as I don't really do cake! It'll wear off I'm sure.

Have a great week,

Mwah, luv ya

Love me

How can it be midweek already!

2024-10-16T08:07:00.001+02:00

Wednesday 16th October 2024

Sometimes you don't get what you want! I expected a maintain or a small loss yesterday and I gained 1.5lb! I was surprisingly okay with the result because our bodies aren't machines. This past few weeks I've had covid, so my body has dealt with that, I haven't eaten or drunk as much, and then last week I was better. I'd lost 3.5lb last week which I didn't expect, so even with the gain, I've still lost 2lb over 2 weeks and that's good.

Yesterday I was hungrier than I have been for a few weeks, not sure if that was genuine hunger or my sub conscious saying 'well we didn't lose, so....' but I went for good healthy food. I ate the other half of the beetroot bomb I bought with mushrooms in a wrap, I had a cup a soup, the edamame salad I'd bought from the farm shop. I nipped in Tesco on my way home and they had a spinach and pine nut pesto pasta reduced to £1 and I love that, so I took that for my tea and it was lush. I also went in Farm Foods for some pop for Aryn and bought some Bernard Matthews wafer thin turkey ham - WOW it was way saltier than I remember it being when I used to eat it years ago, true processed meat at it's finest, won't buy that again.

Plant points list for the week ended at about 25, can do better and that's the plan for the week ahead, Are you getting your 30 plants a week? Plant points explained - BBC Food in case you don't know what they are. List for yesterday includes

Spinach

Pine nuts

edamame beans

sun dried tomatoes

beetroot

carrot

cumin seeds

chestnut mushrooms

olives

I'm impressed there as I didn't think I'd managed that many yesterday as I ate a lot of bready products, I'm going shopping today and buying some fruit and veggies.

I've got an olive soda bread that I bought on my way back Monday, it was a bit tough so I'm thinking of making a savoury bread bake with it to use it up and not waste it.

Yeah, I don't like wasting food but I'm not gonna eat it just for the sake of it!

Right let's start the day, Tracktober is half way through, we got this!

Mwah, luv ya

Love me cc

Great Weekend!

2024-10-14T17:37:00.005+02:00

Monday 14th October 2024

I've not just had the best weekend but I've also tracked everything and not felt like I've missed out on anything.

I drove down to Dorset Friday, after settling everything at the MH we drove into Swanage to enjoy some fish and chips,

Absolutely delicious and I left some, I didn't have anything else that evening either.

Saturday morning we had a cooked breakfast in a pub where we went to check out their campsite for the future, we also opted for the small both of us, I gave him my hash brown though as I'm not a huge fan.

After enjoying this we drove to look at the Cerne Giant, now I hadn't done my research here so we parked in the car park and followed the arrows saying 'giant hill', little did I realised until we got to the NT sign that to get the view of the giant you were better pulling into the layby at the side of the road and looking up lol, we'd walked up the hill and underneath the giant before realising this '-) that red line - oops, he had his best boots on too, they're all muddy now!

We then drove to Abbotsbury Swannery, which has been there for over 600 years and in breeding season there can be up to 1,000 swans, after walking round, we did the Swan Maze, I'm a big wuss, shouting 'don't leave me, I'm scared I'll get stuck in here' when he started walking fast.

We drove back to Swansea through glorious countryside, finding a parking space to leave the car for the night so we could have a few drinks and food. I ordered seabass and samphire, was good, my photos not great.

We had to walk 1 hour 15 minutes for a taxi, I wished I'd known as I'd have booked it earlier, was so ready for bed when we got back.

Sunday he'd treated me to a nature trail with the National Trust we had our own ATV and driver who took us along the beach and through the dunes telling us all about the area, explaining how the dunes formed, all very interesting.

our ATV!

From there we drove to Durdle Door and Lulworth Cove and had our lunch there, I didn't eat again after eating this plateful of yummyness, I couldn't finish it either. I did indulge in a bottle of wine when we got back to the MH though.

Perfect end to a perfect weekend. Left early this morning and stopped at a couple of farm shops, one I've wanted to visit for a while because they make the best pies and I normally get them from Ocado so it was great to go buy them from source. Pies & Pastries | Thorner's (thornersofsomerset.co.uk) I then stopped at the farm shop services on the M5 just after Junction 12, it's a bit expensive but I bought things that were reduced to try :) breakfast was a piece of black pudding - weird maybe but I fancied it, then for lunch I had a smoked trout cob, all reduced from the farm shop.

I'll be having an early night tonight as last night was unsettled, heavy rain in a MH makes for disturbed sleep! Lots of dreaming too, I don't like dreaming at all.

On a positive, huddle chat is prepared, house isn't too messy, I'm thinking I might have a toasted teacake for dinner and look forward to being weighed tomorrow - fingers crossed I lose anything, I'm not expecting lots, 1/2lb will do, I want to live and lose, enjoy life and be able to chip away at the numbers.

Here's to making it through another week.

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Another day in the bag...

2024-10-10T07:34:00.005+02:00

Thursday 10th October 2024

Short blog today, got to leave the house at half seven to get to the huddle at Bloxwich Mem, I'm still on track and tracking it all honestly, easy - no, worth it - yes!

Yesterday I had omelette for breakfast, adding to my plant points, so I'd already had 5,

carrots

broccoli

potatoes

cauliflower

banana

I added

yellow pepper

red pepper

mushrooms

wholemeal bread

Then with dinner, which was leftover lamb from Sunday served in pitta breads with salads and dips, blooming tasty it was, the lads loved it.

Adding

onion

cucumber

lettuce

white cabbage

tomatoes

I'm on 14 so far, now to see if I can add other stuff over the rest of the week!

I finally got the remote back last night which meant I was able to catch up on MAFS and BB, you can't beat a bit of crap tv and a glass of wine, I love it, I nearly got the bed to myself too but the damn cats got under the bed before I had chance to close the door and then I couldn't shut the door because I couldn't get them out the room so I've not had the best sleep because Coco purrs so loudly!

It's all good though, it's Thursday, a day full of huddles, the most difficult thing I have to do today is decide what we're having for dinner - mmm what shall we have for dinner?!

Here's to making it through 100% on track, we got this :)

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Yay I lost 3.5lb!

2024-10-09T07:57:00.002+02:00

Wednesday 9th October 2024

I lost 3.5lb in the first week of tracktober, I was really chuffed with that, writing it all down really, really, helps! It helps you to see whether you're eating healthy, having those 5 a day etc, not just if you're within your calorie allowance!

As he was home, he took me for lunch, we went to the Lancaster and I have to say it was good grub, plus on a Tuesday 12-4pm it's buy 1 main get one free so we both had belly pork for £15.99, bargain. Now this is where you need to be impressed, I cut it in half and gave him half my pork, then I removed most of the fat, I was still full by the end of it and I enjoyed my lunch out. As the calories weren't on the menu, I used the app to guestimate the calories.

I wasn't really hungry again later but when he had cheese and biscuits I had a couple of those, perfect and meant I ended on track and under budget. Here's to getting through the rest of the week.

Our huddle challenge this week is to get Plant Points, this is going to be a challenge for me too as I need to mix up what I'm eating, so yesterday I managed 5 points, I need to up my game because they recommend 30 a week but you can't repeat a plant point, it has to be different ones, so I had a banana yesterday, if I had one again that won't count as each plant only counts once.

I need to use up the leftover lamb today, I've bought pitta breads and wraps so they can have either, I suppose I could freeze it if it doesn't get used. The meeting chat has made me fancy an omelette so that's gone on my to eat list, I can't eat everything in one day!

Anyway, I need to shower and get ready for work this morning, here's to another great day,

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Looking forward to the scales!

2024-10-08T07:47:00.001+02:00

Tuesday 8th October 2024

Can you believe it's only 77 sleeps till Christmas and that's a massive motivation for me to lose some weight, I want to end the year lighter than I started it and I know I'll gain a bit over Christmas because that's what it's all about, spending time with loved ones and indulging! Today's my first weigh-in for Tracktober and I've had a great week, everything tracked, temptation resisted at times and enjoyed my meals.

Yesterday I made pasta bake with the other Peri Peri chicken, I added peppers, sun dried tomatoes, sweetcorn, tomato paste and Philadelphia light and the lads inhaled it.

As you can see, I had a girl portion, realising I don't need as much food as either of the males in my life!

Not the best nights sleep last night, lots of dreaming, mom was in it and I'd come home and she'd rescued a tiger - yeah a real life tiger, I hate dreams, then I was woken by an alarm on his phone 45 minutes before I needed to be getting up, the phone was in the living room so I had to get up because he didn't hear it!

I've got leftover lamb to use today, I'm thinking either lamb in pittas with mint mayo or I could make a shepherds pie, mmm decisions, decisions.

We went to Aryn's open evening for 6th form last night, he has no idea what he wants to do as a job, but it's looking like 6th form maths, ICT, as much as he wasn't keen on doing English because of the literature side of it, his results are really good so after a conversation he's agreed English and possibly Chemistry. Now to get the results!

Nothing worth having comes easy whether it's an exam result or weight loss! Last week we asked our members what are you willing to do to lose weight and what aren't you willing to do because they are all very different people. You can't mark them all the same and expect them to behave and eat the same way. Some will be willing to weigh and measure everything others won't, some will be willing to exercise others won't and that's why Be Happy Owls works because we help members design their own 'diet' that works for them!

On that note, I need another drink, this one's gone cold, I'm not willing to give up my morning cuppa - are you? I was willing to change it to decaf though.

Let's have a great day,

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

I made it through the weekend!

2024-10-07T10:21:00.001+02:00

Monday 7th October 2024

I did it, I made it through the weekend 100% tracking but also starting day 7 within my allowance, it helped that we didn't go out this weekend, had a lazy weekend in the house.

I made healthier choices too though, the peri peri chicken I bought from Sainsbury's in the meal deal was absolutely delicious, they had theirs with waffle chips, I had salad with mine and one slice of garlic bread to say I'd tasted it. That was Saturday.

Sunday when I made him a full English, I had a sausage sandwich with mushrooms and tomatoes.

Sunday lunch was a lamb dinner, check me out weighing my lamb and almost measuring the gravy, I didn't have as much as I normally would anyway.

I only had a couple of small glasses of wine all weekend, I opened a bottle on Thursday and there's still a glass of it - GO ME!

Feeling good starting the week, I shall get weighed tomorrow and see if it's helped and if I'm on course to get some weight loss this month! Wish me luck.

Keeping it short this morning as I had a lie in and I've got loads to do, it's Aryn's open evening tonight for 6 form, interested to go to that.

Here's to a great day,

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Saturday has landed!

2024-10-05T07:53:00.003+02:00

Saturday 5th October 2024

I need to remember this statement every day this month to keep me on track!

Yesterday I got so stuck into doing the housework, I forgot to eat and I wasn't hungry, it was afternoon before I realised. I ate a packet of sliced beef because it was use by yesterday and I was only eating to have something in my stomach. I cooked the lads shredded chicken with black beans in a spicy tomato sauce in taco boats but I didn't like it at all, so I just had the Doritos and I had a good few so that was my dinner - not the healthiest of days but it's all tracked and I only consumed 772 calories all day. Weird as I wasn't hungry so listening to my body. This morning my belly was growling so I've had weetabix (well the home branded ones).

My house is so clean and tidy, I love it when it's like this, it's just keeping on top of it. I burned 2,877 calories yesterday according to my Fitbit, did 11,776 steps and 104 zone minutes just from doing housework and a walk round Sainsbury's. How good is that! My back/knee/leg all reminded me for the rest of the day and all night that I'd done that much moving too, gotta love being in pain - NOT!

I picked this Chicken meal deal up in Sainsburys for today, £12, that's two whole chickens and 3 sides how good is that. I'm not sure I'm a piri piri fan, if I have Nando's I would have the lemon and herb but I'll give it a go, the lads will inhale them I'm sure! I might cook them both together in the oven to save on electricity and then I might turn the one into a pasta bake which I can freeze for a mid week meal or it would keep till Monday in fridge. But seriously 2 chickens and 3 sides for £12, that's ridiculous!

I've took a leg of lamb my sister gave me out the freezer, we're gonna have a Sunday roast tomorrow, looking forward to that, roasters, yorkies and gravy, nothing better than that!

I'm feeling positive as the weekend begins, I survived Friday easily, I can do this - we all can!

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Friday's arrived, the weekends aren't as easy!

2024-10-04T09:09:00.001+02:00

Friday 4th October 2024

Another day in the bag, just been chatting about what to have for tea and he suggested chippy but I said no as I'm trying to eat healthier and he said yeah I thought that, he was trying to save me hassle but I don't mind cooking. I've took chicken breasts out of the freezer and I've sat here toying with defrosting them in microwave, cooking from frozen in slow cooker or I've found out I can cook from frozen in my Ninja combi, I've still not decided what I'm going to do with them, I'm thinking some kind of shredded chicken and rice served in taco boats. I want something that can be reheated in microwave because we will probably all eat at different times which is typical on a Friday.

Yesterday went well, I finished just over my daily allowance but it was all tracked, I had this for lunch and it was delicious, I'd like to experiment and maybe make my own version. I had it as part of an M&S gastropub meal deal, so £15 for main, side and dessert or starter. Aryn had the dessert, I had this side as a main meal, 428 calories in the whole thing and it really was lush.

Because I knew I wouldn't do it when I got home I diced some salad before going back to work, there's enough there for today too.

For dinner we had the Moussaka, I had a little garlic bread with it, less than 40p in Lidls they are and I put some cheese in them to make them scrumptious, Aryn ate the rest. 872 calories in total for this but it was really tasty, without the bit of garlic bread it would've been 261 calories less.

I've found my taste for wine again, so had a couple of glasses, first in a fortnight though!

Today I shall mostly be a domestic goddess, the bathrooms, kitchen and living rooms all need a good clean, beds need changing, I've not done a lot for the last couple of weeks as I was poorly last week, rested Monday, did all the ironing Wednesday and worked the other days so today is catch up day then I'll be back to normal next week and can get back to the gym too.

Energy levels seem back to full capacity, Aryn's a couple of days behind me so he's skipping MMA tonight, but he has managed 2 classes this week so fair play. He has so much school work too, it's a tough year for him with his exams next spring.

I'm delaying starting ain't I :) right let's do this! Have a great day x

Mwah, luv ya

Love me xx

Tracktober, day 3

2024-10-03T07:40:00.003+02:00

Thursday 3rd October 2024

Tracktober is going well, I'm not gonna pretend I don't want to eat more food than I have, this weather makes me want to eat plus my eating patterns have been out of tune with having the lurgy last week, the only thing I've found easy is not drinking wine which feels very strange!

Foodwise yesterday, my plan had been to have banana on toast, but Aryn ate the last one so I had egg and mushrooms on toast instead, I put brown sauce on the one slice of toast instead of butter and the egg was enough on the other, 356 calories including my mug of tea.

For dinner we had couscous with veg, Aryn had spicy kfc style chicken on his I had a tempura chicken, I've got to say I really like them, not something I'd normally buy but it was in a Coop meal deal I think. I didn't realise the box of couscous was feed 4, and I'd split it between the two of us, I couldn't eat it all, so what I did eat cost me 624 calories, but I really enjoyed it.

Lunch was a tin of chicken soup, but I was still hungry so I had some of these ryvita crackerbreads wih pate, I really like these for 20 calories each, they're the ones that are full of air, not the crispbreads, I'd forgot these even existed!

Now I also had a cup of Options hot chocolate the other day, I decided to weigh the powder to make sure it did only set me back 40 calories, because I know we all do the heaped spoonfuls and don't really use the 11g we're supposed too, just so you know, it's 3 level teaspoons and in the right size cup it's plenty and a tasty sweet kick.

I was wanting to pick yesterday, wanting more food, but other than 4 seafood sticks, I managed to keep it under control. My app says I had 7.9 portions of 5 a day, but again, it was only 4 different things, that's an improvement though!

I was under my total allowance, just looked at the totals and my salt was high, looking at it, it's the pate, I never thought about that being a salty food, fatty yeah. It's the processed food, the soup, the chicken, I tend to make a lot of food from scratch so salt is rarely an issue. Having said that, if they get to write, 'salt took her' on my gravestone, I'll be amazed!

Bananas have been bought, so I can have them on toast for breakfast if I fancy, it's a bit early today though, I leave at half 7, not sure I want to eat anything, I can wait till later for food. Not home till one though so need to think about if I want to take something with me. It's actually the first morning I haven't woken up hungry so maybe eating healthy the last few days is balancing my appetite back out.

I got all my ironing done yesterday, up and down the stairs, managed to get over 9k steps which is great for me! Managed 16 minutes active, they were from emptying the car at the venue on the morning, then putting the chairs out. See activity doesn't have to be in the gym, housework and general day to day stuff helps.

Here's to making day 3 a success, it's a busy day so I won't have time to think about food as much. I'm feeling positive, starting to break the bad habits again.

We got this!

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x

Tracktober!

2024-10-02T07:49:00.004+02:00

Wednesday 2nd October 2024

Temptation is hard! But we can resist and get the results we want. I haven't blogged for over a week because I was busy, Elle was on holiday, I didn't feel great, so blogging was just another thing on a long list of things 'to do'.

I gained 1/2lb when I weighed yesterday, I hadn't weighed on Thursday as I was on my own and completely forgot, then got too busy with our members, I'm happy with that half but as Elle pointed out, 1/2lb every week soon adds up! She's right (I hate that sometimes 😁 the truth hurts!) I'd rather be losing 1/2lb a week, we've got 12 weeks till Christmas and they'll soon go by.

This is why we're all doing Tracktober this month, tracking is a great way to see what you need to work on. Looking at mine for yesterday, I managed 4.1 of my 5 a day according to nutracheck which was better than I've been doing lately, but I only had butternut squash and a banana so really I only had 2!

I've started my list of meals I enjoy because I know that will help me going forward when it comes to deciding what I want to eat. Yesterday when I was looking at a members tracker I noticed banana on toast and I thought, mmm I've not had that for a while so I had it for my tea when I got home and I really enjoyed it. That could be a regular breakfast, I also enjoyed the weetabix I had the other week so that could be another, I had scrambled egg on toast yesterday for breakfast which was delicious but because of the butter I put on the toast with my cuppa it was 484 calories, the banana on a slice of toast is only 183 calories and the Weetabix with 125ml milk is 195 calories so I could have both of those for less than the eggs and it wouldn't have so much saturated fat, plus it's one of my 5 a day. Worth thinking about isn't it and if it was in a little notebook in the kitchen, I can flick through the ideas and decide, I can also use it for shopping purposes.

I'm off my wine too which is gonna help isn't it, feeling poorly last week meant I didn't want any, when I opened a bottle Monday, it didn't taste that great, so I didn't bother, poured a little bit last night from the open bottle and nope still not tasting great so I didn't bother again. I drink red wine because I like the taste, if it's not tasting great there's no point! I'm sure it's not a forever thing - but imagine if it is!

I ended my day on track, I'd got 198 calories spare but they'll be my safety belt at the weekend, I've decided Saturday is my day where I can go a little over if I need too, if we go out.

Here's to making it through October and seeing results, it's only 83 days to Christmas, that'll soon pass, we talked last night about booking ferries for Ireland, that's when I know it's getting closer!

Have a great day, I'm going to eat better today, I've got food I bought to eat that isn't as low in calories as I'd like, we had stuffed pasta yesterday, it's just not worth the calories I've decided, it's alright like but I can think of foods I'd rather eat - another reason for writing that meal list.

Not sure what we're having, but I could do egg fried rice with crispy chicken or there's fish in batter which would be nice with chips, I don't want to be eating 'diet food' because those 'diets' don't last, this is what happens when you go on a typical 'diet'.

We don't promote those kinds of diets, it's okay to eat what you enjoy and you can still lose weight, so that's the plan!

Mwah, luv ya

Love me x