Beyond

Jesus's Example and Immigrant Children

2014-07-30T04:27:00.000-05:00

What a problem we have with so many children here in the U.S. illegally! What do we do? Everyone seems to have an opinion. Good people cannot seem to agree. Yes, we have a problem at the border, but isn’t that a different issue? What do we do with the children who are already here and need good, safe, and caring places to stay?

What did Jesus do that casts light on the issue?

I have been immersed in stories of the Bible because I am headed to Kenya to teach a group of women how to share God’s Word by telling the stories. For the past couple of years I have often used stories, telling them by heart and allowing God to use them to grow others as he applies the lessons to their hearts.

As I was working on the story below, I was struck by the way it answers questions many are asking about helping those who broke the law. See what you think.

A woman who had suffered a condition of hemorrhaging for twelve years–– a long succession of physicians had treated her, and treated her badly, taking all her money and leaving her worse off than before–– had heard about Jesus. She slipped in from behind and touched his robe. She was thinking to herself, "If I can put a finger on his robe, I can get well." The moment she did it, the flow of blood dried up. She could feel the change and knew her plague was over and done with.

At the same moment, Jesus felt energy discharging from him. He turned around to the crowd and asked, "Who touched my robe?”

His disciples said, "What are you talking about? With this crowd pushing and jostling you, you're asking, 'Who touched me?' Dozens have touched you!”

But he went on asking, looking around to see who had done it. The woman, knowing what had happened, knowing she was the one, stepped up in fear and trembling, knelt before him, and gave him the whole story.

Jesus said to her, "Daughter, you took a risk of faith, and now you're healed and whole. Live well, live blessed! Be healed of your plague,” (Mark 5:25-43).

Although there is no record of any Pharisees being there, based on other Gospel accounts I can only imagine their comments if they had been: “She broke the Law by touching him when she was unclean.” “She doesn’t deserve to be healed when she broke the Law to do it.” “Jesus should have scolded her for making everyone she touched unclean instead of embracing her as a daughter.” Rather than compassion for a hurting woman, I suspect they would have focused on her illegal actions and criticized Jesus. But Jesus extended mercy and grace, calling her daughter and blessing her.

Other words from Jesus come to mind as I try to understand his will on this issue:

“. . . love your neighbor as yourself,” (Matt. 22:39)
“As you wish that others would do to you, do so to them,” (Luke 6:31).
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful,” (Luke 6:36).
“Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me,” (Matt. 25:40).

I wonder what I would do if I had children in the kinds of danger these children are? If I were desperate to help them and protect them, would I break a law? What did Moses’s mother do? If I apply the Golden Rule, I have to imagine myself in their situations not mine. When I allow myself to feel their pain, it is difficult to turn away and ignore them. Who will care for them with the love of God if we refuse to take them into our cities and counties?

Those who want us to be a nation under God must show what that looks like. Our first loyalty isn’t to a certain party but to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. What would he do?

My Mother's Legacy

2013-09-10T16:45:00.001-05:00

My mother passed away twelve days ago at the age of 90. Like some of you, I always said that I didn’t want to be like my mother. I lived with her weaknesses, and strengths aren’t always evident to those who live up close. But time brings perspective, and I now identify much to learn from her life.

My daughter said it well--Mother had her priorities right, putting faith and family above all else. She volunteered in her church for years, even while responsible for home, children, and teaching school. She tirelessly cooked and gave food away to those with health issues, losses, celebrations--or just because they loved her food! She lived out a concern for others as she served them.

Virtually all of Mother’s friends share how much her daily prayers for them meant. Through celebrations and hardships, she daily lifted up their needs before God. For the past few years, she and her friend Ozzie have prayed together over the phone through Mother’s prayer list every day. Mother said that once they were on her list, they were there until Jesus returned or took her home, and her friends have testified to her faithfulness to that promise. I will personally miss knowing that there is someone who prays for me every single day.

As I mentioned, Mother had her weaknesses. Because she dealt with fear, she took God up on his invitation to come to him for his strength. When she faced issues that scared her, she prayed. Although she never lost her fearful disposition, God used it to draw her closer to himself and call her to faithfully pray for others.

God designed Mother to be an encourager. Her success as a first-grade teacher came from the encouragement she gave each child, symbolized by the hug she gave them as they departed each day. Her calendar was full of birthdays to help her remember those special occasions with a thoughtful card. Although her mobility became an issue as she aged, she continued to love on those people whom God had placed in her life through cards, notes, and phone calls. Although the way she encouraged changed with her changing health, she never quit doing the work that God called her to do on earth—encourage those around her.

I am blessed to have had a mother who left a legacy of faith and love.

What positive lessons did you learn from your parents?

Why Another Ministry?

2013-05-04T10:03:00.000-05:00

This was originally posted on THE AROMA OF INFLUENCE blog at www.beyondordinarywomen.org, the website of the new ministry founded by Kay.

Is there need for another ministry, especially at a time when so many great organizations request funds to help those living in poverty and with injustice? Is our mission necessary to the extension of the kingdom of God? As I asked God about beginning Beyond Ordinary Women Ministries, I sensed that his answer was yes.

Why?
Because Jesus’s great command for the church is to go and make disciples, which involves a two-part strategy—baptizing them and teaching them (Matt. 28:18-20). Those who set out to fulfill this commission must be mature in character and trained in ministry. Paul says that God has given gifted people to equip the church to serve others (Eph. 4:11-16), and Beyond Ordinary Women Ministries (BOW) seeks to help them do that well.

BOW will provide resources for discipling and equipping women to grow their influence in their workplaces, homes, communities, and churches. As women are challenged, encouraged, and equipped to accept God’s call to reach out to others both near and far, it benefits the church and other ministries. Our focus is small and under-resourced churches that lack trained leaders. As we go and develop women in their home churches, they are prepared to extend the love of Christ to others.

It is thrilling that the American evangelical church is awakening to the needs of the world and is extending the care of Jesus to them. Too long we have lived comfortably in our homes and gathered in our state-of-the-art churches with little regard for the physical needs of the rest of the world. I appreciate this change in emphasis and the many new ministries formed to deliver such assistance.

In our fervor to alleviate poverty and injustice both in the U.S. and overseas, however, we must remember that those doing such work must be grounded, trained, equipped, and matured at home so they are ready and able to do great work elsewhere, producing fruit that is not only physical but also spiritual. The current swing in ministry focus must not discount the necessity of preparing the laborers well.

Join us in supporting the equipping work of the church. I invite you as pastors of small churches to use our teams of seasoned leaders to challenge and train your women. All of you can help us with prayer and donations of any size to equip women in remote, small, and under-resourced churches to serve others.

God is on the move; we must prepare women to step up and extend their spiritual influence everywhere they go.

The First Holy Saturday

2013-03-30T11:58:00.000-05:00

Christ's body lay in the tomb; his life and ministry appeared to be over as the stone was rolled over the entrance to his grave. It was a day of mourning and shock for his followers whose hope was gone. To many others, it was a time of relief if not celebration. For God it was a Sabbath of silence.

What if the story ended there? What if Jesus had remained in the tomb--a footnote in the history of the Jews, a would-be Messiah, another prophet silenced by powerful leaders who protect themselves at all costs? What would that mean for you and me and our relationship with God and our hope for a new world to come?

"If Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain. We are even found to be misrepresenting God, because we testified about God that he raised Christ, whom he did not raise if it is true that the dead are no raised. For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied," 1 Cor. 15:14-19.

As we consider the effect of that distant Sabbath on the first disciples, we prepare our hearts for the amazing news on Sunday that he is risen indeed. Hallelujah!

Cliff Diving

2013-01-31T15:19:00.000-06:00

No, I haven’t ever done this myself. I am not much of a swimmer; I hate heights; and I am scared to death of hitting rocks. There is no way that I would literally dive off of a precipice, but I have jumped off the cliff with God.

I think of Abraham, whom God called to leave behind his country, family, and home to go to a place that God would show him (Gen. 12:1). In those days country-hopping wasn’t very easy. There was no airplane flying Abraham to this new land to look it over and consider God’s instructions. Leaving his land likely meant that someone else would take it over. It is always more comfortable to stay where we are than to risk something new. The situation sounds pretty cliff-like to me! Abraham faced a line of decision, which crossed would mean no turning back.

When God calls us to the edge of the cliff, he urges us to trust him enough to jump.
“Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” (Heb. 11:1). The great thing about diving off the bluff is that our faith is in God, not in our abilities to aim and jump well enough to miss the rocks. Instead of focusing on the fall, we look to God who is there to protect us from disaster. Through the eyes of faith, we see him below catching us. The fall might hurt, and it might not be easy to navigate, but it won’t result in our destruction. God has great plans and purposes for us.

As I look back, I can see many times when God asked me to dive off the cliff. Each time I faced the decision to jump, it involved leaving something behind to embrace God’s future. But in every instance I was able to trust him more, having grown in my conviction that he was there unseen to catch me.

This month I have started a ministry, and it’s overwhelming and scary to look at all that must be done. None of it will be easy, but I trust that God has led me here and given me the vision for a new ministry, unlike any I know of. As you read this, pray that God will continue to further define the vision and provide all the people and resources that we need to implement it.

I pray that you will jump off the cliff next time God urges you to jump. You are in great hands if you do.

What cliffs have you jumped?

A Prayer for a New Year

2013-01-02T12:00:00.000-06:00

Instead of making resolutions which I can never keep, I am asking God to do some things in my life this year:

· When I am selfish, give me your love and grace for others.

· When I am prone to anger, remind me how much I need your mercy.

· When I am tired, give me your strength to complete the things that really matter and the wisdom to let got go of everything else.

· When I feel strong, show me that it is a mirage.

· When I am discouraged, remind me that you have great purpose for my life.

· When I am self-centered, draw me to worship Christ who gave himself as a sacrifice for us.

· When I am unloving, infuse me with your love.

· When I face obstacles, give me your wisdom.

· When I waste time, remind me of the brevity of life.

· When I feel alone, give me a sense of your presence.

· When I am surrounded by people and projects, show me how to create time for you in solitude and silence.

· When I become too busy to spend time in prayer and the Word, make me restless so that I come to you for peace.

· When I am tempted, give me strength to resist.

· When I sin, lead me to repentance by your love and mercy.

· When I am afraid, help me trust that you are my refuge.

· When I need provision, remind me that it comes from you, not my own resources.

· When I am tempted to buy more stuff, remind me how rich I am and open my eyes and wallet to those who are truly needy.

· When others hurt, give me tears for them.

· When others rejoice over something I would like to experience, help me overcome envy and truly rejoice with them.

· When I begin to worry, give me faith to trust you.

· When my circumstances are difficult, give me joy in you and the belief that you are at work.

· When relationships are hard, give me unconditional love.

· When faced with conflict, give me wisdom to be a peacemaker and the heart to forgive.

· When I am lost, guide me to your path.

· Grow my faith, love, and hope this year. Move me closer to loving you with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to loving others as myself.

A Christmas Carol for Sandy Hook

2012-12-17T16:24:00.001-06:00

The proximity of the Connecticut tragedy last Friday to Christmas seems to mock the angels' message of peace on earth and good will toward men in Luke 2:14. Yesterday as I sang “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day," my mind turned to the senseless deaths of so many and questions that always accompany such evil deeds.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, who wrote the words in a poem during the Civil War, well expresses my feelings when faced with horrible wrongs. Although Longfellow’s despair of ever seeing peace on earth arose from a different source, the carol aptly describes my feelings today. I hope you find a few quiet minutes to meditate on the words of the poem written below, listen to it, or even sing this beautiful Christmas carol. (You might enjoy the updated Casting Crowns version.)

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,

and wild and sweet

The words repeat

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom

Had rolled along

The unbroken song

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,

A voice, a chime,

A chant sublime

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;

"For hate is strong,

And mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;

The Wrong shall fail,

The Right prevail,

With peace on the earth, good-will to men."

Precious Memories--Places of Grace

2012-11-15T12:10:00.001-06:00

Who and what do you remember from your childhood? Adults who influenced and loved you? Kids down the street who played in your yard? Teachers and schoolyards? Birthday parties and sleepovers? Relatives now gone? Friends who tragically died too young?

A childhood friend recently created a Facebook page to record memories from our neighborhood elementary school. The stories being posted take me back to events almost forgotten and people of long ago, the majority of whom have not been a part of my life for decades.

A post yesterday reminded me of one of God’s long-ago gifts to me—our next-door neighbors. Because Roger and Edna had no children, they somewhat adopted us as their own. Roger affectionately called us two girls Big Sugar and Little Sugar. I learned from him that men are not all alike; while he fished, worked on cars, and actually cooked, my dad did none of those things. Roger’s baked fish, barbeque sauce, and apple pies were fabulous. He took a special interest in helping me learn to write in cursive. When I was a teenager, he hired me to help him in his business during busy season. I never met a sweeter woman than his wife. She was my second-grade teacher, and the hardest thing about it was not calling her Edna. The last time I saw her was at my wedding forty years ago, which she attended despite dealing with painful and crippling arthritis.

It seems fitting to relive special memories at this time of year, when we pause to thank God for his blessings. Part of who I am today is because of the things that happened in that school and among the people who lived around it--many other Roger and Ednas. I am grateful for a solid educational foundation, for teachers who showed true care and love for their students, and for a neighborhood where we were safe and free among people who were almost like family.

Some of us have more painful memories of childhood, and it’s not quite so easy to call out precious memories. But it seems that God generally provides places of grace for each of us somewhere. I hope that you will join me in taking time this month to remember that places of grace where God broke through and met you through loving people and joyous events.

Maybe 30 Gifts?

2012-11-01T09:58:00.001-05:00

November is the month of Thanksgiving here in the U.S. when we pause to thank God for his blessings. Rather than focus on being grateful only one day, I plan to thank God for one of his gifts in my life each day this month, centering on one particular blessing.

If you have read or heard about the premise of 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp, you may have been overwhelmed with the idea of reflecting on so many gifts, even wondering if you could think of that many!
I suggest a month of gifts, and maybe that will begin many of us on a daily journey of thanksgiving that lasts past November 2012.

Recognizing God's gifts, both small and large ones, helps foster the quality of contentment, which in turn moves us toward true peace and joy. Rather than become ensnared with the push to have more, we draw others to Christ when we become content and grateful, both counter-cultural qualities in our society.

Last week my mother turned ninety, and today I thank God for the gift that is her life, as well as the ways that he has blessed her. She is a prayer warrior—her legacy to our family. Her mind is still sharp although her body is unsteady and weak. She has the provision that she needs to live where she can receive help and live among friends. Today I focus on her blessing in my life and the ways that God is blessing her.

How can we remember to thank God for one blessing daily this month? I intend to put it on my calendar and set a reminder notice so that I don’t forget.

What gift do you thank God for today?

Messy Redos

2012-10-18T13:23:00.000-05:00

We are in the midst of redoing parts of our kitchen—and what a mess! Now in our third week, we can hardly wait to get everything emptied out of the kitchen cabinets back where it belongs. Our living and dining rooms are full of dishes, glasses, pots and pans, and cleaning supplies. Sheets of plastic hang from the ceiling around the kitchen to protect the rest of the house. Despite the best efforts of the workmen, however, there is a layer of dust on everything, and the smell of paint is giving my husband a daily headache.

Why deliberately make such a mess? Fixing problems brought on by time often requires making things seem worse before they get better.

My heart is similar to my kitchen.
When I ignore it, its condition deteriorates over time. It’s so easy to let sins creep in—selfishness, apathy toward others and the things of God, spiritual laziness, envy of the success of others, or any number of other issues. To relate to God and others well, I have to dig out the dirt to let God clean me out and refurbish me.

The process is messy; the truth about myself requires uncovering the bad instead of hiding it, even from myself. The end result of spiritual refreshment and renewal, however, is worth the mess it creates.

In our crazy and busy culture, it’s so easy to let our sins and issues go, never giving them a thought. Instead, why don’t we all open up the hidden attitudes we have buried? Let’s allow God to clean us out and restore our hearts and our relationships with him. The messy redo is worth it.

Are You a Servant or a Leader?

2012-09-20T15:06:00.000-05:00

George Barna’s latest poll of Christian women reveals that 49% characterize themselves as servants while only 36% call themselves leaders. When only one out of every three of us sees herself as a leader, it is no wonder that 75% of us feel that we should be doing more to serve God. We have likely misunderstood the value that God puts on each and every Christ-follower to influence her world.

It’s time that women in the church have a radical change of mind about leadership.

Every follower of Jesus is called to influence others spiritually (Matt. 28:18-20), and influence is leadership. We are here on earth to become more like Jesus so that others see him in us and are attracted to follow him. Such leadership makes a difference in the lives of those within our sphere of influence, and God highly values it. When we choose to become a spiritual influence—whether to one child, our family, our co-workers, or our friends—we lead in the best and highest sense of the word.

The responsibility to encourage and challenge other believers and those around us is leadership, but it is also servant hood. Jesus describes God’s type of leader is a servant-leader. When we love our neighbors, act that out in tangible ways, and speak of our love for Christ, we have made a huge difference in someone’s life. We serve and lead at the same time, just as this momma duck does with her ducklings. If we see ourselves only as servants and not leaders, we risk minimizing our roles and not realizing the impact that God wants to make through us.

Do you find yourself believing that you aren’t making a difference because your responsibilities are behind the scenes? Do you feel that only those who plan events or preach or teach are leaders? It’s time to adjust your thinking. Influencing someone else into life-change is a major leadership task. God has brought friends, family, co-workers, and neighbors onto our paths so that we make a difference.

Take on your responsibility as a leader by growing in that area (see my new book for help), and by seeing yourself as one who is making a difference in the lives of others because God is at work in you.

You are a leader. Believe it!

The Spicy Hot Climate

2012-06-30T10:18:00.000-05:00

If Texas summers were food, I would call them spicy hot—day after day of temperatures over 100 degrees, little rain, and few clouds. Even the water in swimming pools is too hot to really refresh! Many of our plants are suffering by drooping and dropping their leaves and flowers, but not all of them. Our crepe myrtles are flourishing with abundance blooms. I think God made them for the spicy hot climate.

For what climate did God make you?

Some of us actually enjoy spicy hot lives that take faith and courage to follow God’s vision. Others relish working behind the leadership of others, holding onto their excitement and catching their ability to see a better future and press toward it.

You may notice the gifting and strengths of others and want what they have instead of focusing your time where you flourish. It may be that you tend to want to be like someone else rather than gratefully accepting the way that God has made you. But God has a purpose and a plan for you, and he made you exactly as you are in order to fulfill it. Rather than envying others’ gifting, consider leaning into who you already are and giving God room to help you bloom.

I learned to focus my life where I get to use the strengths that God has given me, and it has made all the difference. Although I have God-given gifts and use them to the utmost that way, I am still dependent upon God for the power and results of my service to him.

Life is too short to try to live as someone else instead of being the person God designed you to be. Find your climate and live in it as much as possible. Enjoy the spicy hot climate if you are so inclined, but look for a cooler place to live if not. God will give you joy and abundant blooms when you do.

The Celebrity Cult

2012-06-21T11:49:00.000-05:00

Although they are referred to simply by their first names, everyone knows who they are—Oprah, LeBron, Angelina, Bono, Beyonce, Tiger, Arnold (said with an accent), and many others. The world of technology has created a new religion of celebrity, and the worship is extensive.

I am certainly excited to spot such people in New York or LA; it’s fun to recognize someone seen on the big or little screen. So what’s wrong with that?

This quote from James C. Howell’s book Servants, Misfits, and Martyrs made me think:

In this narcissistic, self-pleasing culture, we welcome celebrities because we lack imagination and courage. Traditional heroes make demands on us, but celebrities make no moral claim on us. Glittering stars in our culture merely feed our narcissism, our love of self, our addiction to everything our society finds pleasurable. No one ever asks how our constant exposure to the rich and famous is supposed to make us good or wise or faithful. Even if we are trying to live faithful lives, our minds are always being reshaped, just a little, into the image of what surrounds us. But heroes—saints—stretch our imaginations and stand as imperatives, calling, wooing us into a higher, holier, life.

Ouch! Never have I considered myself a celebrity follower because I am not impressed with their lifestyles or character. My exposure to them isn’t a 10, but I am on the scale. I am captivated by their homes, clothing, and beauty (unless their skin looks weirdly and artificially stretched).

Such interest may numb me to God’s best. When I notice their clothes, I feel less guilty about enlarging my own wardrobe. Upon seeing images of their homes, I feel entitled to a more luxurious place to live. When they are pictured enjoying the world, I yearn for trips to exotic destinations. Such things slowly immunize me to God’s call to unselfishness, sacrifice, and love.

Christian heroes aren’t perfect, but they do desire to become like Jesus, focusing on his kingdom not this world. Rather than acclaim, they seek God’s approval. We can’t identify them by their number of followers, because many Christian celebrities live just like those in the world. Instead, we recognize them by their character: selflessness, love, generosity, grace, and courage. A Christ-like life convicts me to give more, live with less, and sacrifice my own agenda to serve God.

Let’s choose to fill our minds with less celebrity and more heroes. Let’s quit focusing on people whose lives don’t make us better. Instead, let’s identify saints whose lifestyles call us to Christlikeness and allow their influence to draw us to worship God alone.

Untangling Life's Knotty Messes

2012-06-07T10:46:00.000-05:00

Last night I discovered that the yarn on one edge of my throw blanket was knotted together. The individual pieces were tangled instead of loosely hanging as designed. The other side was completely free from problems, but this one was a mess. Some strands were easily pulled out, but more often so many were intertwined that I could only loosen one to get to another. I spent more than an hour freeing the yarn from interwoven knots.

Isn’t life often the same way? We attempt to deal with a problem and find that it involves a whole knot of issues. Far too often we implement easy answers that don’t work because the difficulty is too complex.

A couple of years ago I found myself burned out. As I sought to uncover the source, I exposed layers of reasons. I had always assumed burnout was caused by lack of boundaries or absence of quality prayer, but in my case neither was true. It required work to expose all of the knotty issues involved.

When disentangling gets me to the core of my problem, I generally find a spiritual hindrance —for me it's usually lack of faith or selfishness. With my burnout I was putting responsibility on myself that belongs to God. Instead of trusting him with the outcome of ministry, I put the burden on myself for results. It’s not fun to discover that the knot begins inside me.

Freedom takes time and prayer. As broken people living in a broken world, we all have issues that require disentangling. By God’s grace we can have the courage and the faith to let God point out every strand of our problems so that we can be free. What problem are you facing that needs unknotting?

Directionless or Directed?

2012-05-16T09:56:00.001-05:00

God doesn’t seem to be leading me anywhere right now. It has been almost two years since I left my church staff position. At that time the only direction I had was to write a book based on my curriculum designed to grow women’s influence. I spoke at women’s conferences and retreats—opportunities which God clearly provided by his sovereign hand. I am now completing the final edits on the book to self-publish it. But what is next? No doors have opened; no voice has spoken; and no sign has appeared in the skies. I don’t like being in limbo and am getting impatient with this waiting. Have you ever felt that God left you without a compass?

How do we navigate such times? What path do we take without clear direction? How do we maintain faith when God seems to have forgotten that we are available? How is God guiding when he seems so silent?

Even when God seems uncommunicative, his word still speaks. His commands direct us; his promises give us hope; and his character builds our trust. When my faith is small, I remember that God is indeed at work behind the scenes to perfect me in everything (Rom. 8:28-29), even when that everything seems like nothing. God has created me for purpose, but his primary goal for me is to be like Jesus. This period is likely more about who I am than about what I do. Maybe he has given me a stop sign instead of an arrow so that I trust in him instead of myself (Ps. 46:10).

If God is working on me right now, I need to be listening by assessing my heart against his word. Do I love what I do for God more than I love him? Can I truly accept where he has me for his purposes or must I have something larger on the calendar? Have I died to self? Honestly, I don't measure up well in those areas.

God’s word provides guidance through its commands. “Give thanks in everything” comes to mind. Living in the present with its blessings and its difficulties and thanking God for the ways he shows up every day in the little things is important when there is no major word from him. Instead of concentrating on the future, I need to refocus on today and see every relationship and situation as God’s opportunity to love and serve him and others.

Have you ever felt in limbo, waiting for God to move or lead or speak in some way? I would love to hear your proven ways to navigate such periods of life.

Grieving the Older Generation

2012-05-01T15:48:00.000-05:00

Two weeks ago my ninety-four-year-old father-in-law passed away, only three-and-a-half months after his wife. I have been in their family for forty years now and am very saddened by their deaths. My own father died when he was sixty-three, an age when he should have been enjoying his grandchildren. I have learned a lot about grief in the ensuing years. I am certainly no expert; I am merely one journeying through the loss of the older generation.

What have I learned so far?

First, it’s necessary to face grief rather than ignore it. I tried the fleeing tactic with my father, and it didn’t work. In shutting down thoughts about him because they hurt, it took me a very long time to process his loss. At the time I mistakenly believed that Christians should be strong and joyful rather than sad because we expect to see the departed again. In reality however, I needed to grieve my own loss and also process the fact that my young children would never have the benefit of really knowing him. Eventually, I faced the hurt and accepted the losses by allowing myself to grieve.

Second, aging itself has losses that may come long before death. My father-in-law was sharp until the day he died, but in his last year he was so bound by his health issues that he lost the great freedom to drive and live in his own home. My mother-in-law had several strokes which affected her memory. In reality we lost the people whom we loved long before their deaths. Grieving them isn’t simply done at death but it often involves facing loss after loss after loss—for both the family and the one who is aging.

Finally, the hope of the life to come does make a difference to those facing death and to those of us left behind. Although it doesn’t erase the grief, it does make it bearable. When waves of sorrow threaten to overcome us, the expectation of a reunion someday prevents us from drowning in it.

Thanks be to Jesus who made a way for us to a place without mourning, crying, or pain (Rev. 21:4).

Words of Love

2012-02-14T09:15:00.000-06:00

Even in the best of earthly relationships or the closest marriage, we don’t always feel loved. For many people Valentine’s Day is a difficult reminder of what we don’t have, whether we are single or married. Because we live in a broken world, our expectations are often unrealized and our dreams of love are far from reality.

We long for a perfect lover, one who knows us intimately and loves us unconditionally. No one on earth will ever meet those expectations but God.

As we celebrate Valentine’s Day, it’s a great time to ponder words of love from God to his people.

For this is the way God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life (Jn. 3:16, NET).
In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins (1 Jn. 4:10, NET).
But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom. 5:8, NET).
We love because he first loved us (1 Jn. 4:19, NET).
For your loyal love extends beyond the sky, and your faithfulness reaches the clouds (Ps. 57:10, NET).
Just as the Father has loved me, I have also loved you; remain in my love (Jn. 15:9, NET).
No one has greater love than this—that one lays down his life for his friends (Jn. 15:14, NET).
I have loved you with an everlasting love. That is why I have continued to be faithful to you (Jer. 31:3, NET).
For the LORD is good. His loyal love endures, and he is faithful through all generations (Ps. 110:5, NET).
For there is no other God like you! You forgive sin and pardon the rebellion of those who remain among your people. You do not remain angry forever, but delight in showing loyal love. (Micah 7:18, NET).
For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Rom. 8:38-39, NET)

Happy Valentine Day!

Attention-grabbing Blogs

2012-02-01T10:57:00.000-06:00

What grabs your attention and draws you to read a blog?

I have now been writing them now for a year-and-a-half and reading them even longer. I would love to hear what appeals to you, the reader. I not only have this blog, but I write on Tapestry and watch the number of reads and wonder about these things. Other than liking a particular topic, what else appeals to you?

What do you see that makes you link and read an entire post, not just go to the page and fail to READ MORE? Do any of the following draw you into the post?

A current news story?

A blog about a celebrity?
A catchy title?
A Facebook link from a trusted friend?

A fun illustration in the first paragraph?

A humorous slant?

I'm sure I am leaving many reasons unsaid so think about your choices and let me know. I really, really want comments here or on my Facebook page.

Growing in Prayer this Year

2012-01-07T10:54:00.000-06:00

When I led women’s ministries in churches, the position of prayer coordinator was often difficult to fill. Most of us (and I include myself here) have a mental image of the ideal pray-er, and we are aware of our own inadequacies. The women I approached often expressed their surprise at being asked to shoulder such a responsibility and their belief that almost anyone else would be better equipped for the role.

What is it about prayer that makes us feel so inadequate? What steps can we take to move forward?

First, let’s shed the image of the woman who spends hours in prayer each day. That imaginary picture is what makes us feel most inadequate. Instead, accept prayer as an area of growth that will continue for a lifetime. Just as you realize that you won’t ever be the perfect saint this side of heaven, accept yourself as one who is growing in prayer. This attitude has been most freeing to me.

Second, take baby steps this year. How can you improve a little in three areas: quantity, quality, and consistency? Be practical and reasonable, but also stretch yourself to grow. What can you let go of to increase your time with God? Reading blogs? So much time on Facebook? Telephone time? Constantly entertaining your kids? Wasted time?

Third, see prayer as a two-way conversation; it is not simply you talking to God but it also includes time of listening to him. That means some time in the scriptures and time listening. Lack of stillness increases the day's stress.

I read a quote from Evelyn Underhill this morning in which she describes God as the one who “has everything to tell us and nothing to learn from us.” Although we know its truth, her statement seemed profoundly practical for my own prayer life. Does it make sense to give God my to-do list for him and end the conversation?

How can you incorporate time in the word and time of silence and solitude? For you young moms, that may be a challenge. It certainly was for me when I had little ones. Develop a goal for growth rather than perfection. Can you read one chapter of Proverbs each day, repeating it every month? Are you able to read a Psalm a day or a chapter in the Gospels? Can you take five minutes after hearing God in his word to sit still and ponder his message to you? What is a reasonable step from where you are now?

The journey of growing in prayer is worth time setting a goal for year and planning how to achieve it.

Your Personal Top Ten List of 2011

2011-12-31T11:39:00.001-06:00

Looking back at the ending year makes me thankful and more conscious of how I need to change in the next year. What has God done this year? What do I need to work on next year? With all the Top Ten lists coming out this week, I thought I would make a list of Ten Top things in my life this year.

Here are the categories/questions I used. You may want to consider them when you have a few minutes today or the next week or two as you begin 2012. Enjoy the memories, but also be open for God to speakJ

· Top highlight of the past year:

· Top way that God showed his providence through my circumstances during the past year:

· Greatest challenge or difficulty this past year and how God has redeemed it so far:

· Fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) that God has been developing most in me the past year:

· Relationship through which God has most blessed me the past year:

· Top lesson I have learned this past year:

· Most fun time this past year:

· Greatest transition this past year:

· Way God has most changed me this past year:

· Most unexpected blessing the past year:

May God bless your 2012, not with material things but with service to him and others, love, friendship, and family memories!

Christmas Carols Rich in Meaning

2011-12-21T08:25:00.002-06:00

Last weekend my husband and I were blessed to attend a concert here in Dallas by the Orpheus Chamber Singers. Although we were not familiar with most of the music, we so enjoyed the quality of the group’s voices in a church built for sound without microphones. I was thankful for the printed program which included the lyrics to the unknown carols. Once again I was reminded of how much theology is present in Christian music of ages past. Although I enjoy contemporary Christian music, often such depth is missing.

As I listened, I allowed the truth of the words to pour into my heart. Beautiful and often deep, they brought home the true meaning of the season. Here are some of my favorites:

“Within a manger he was laid,

And by his side the virgin maid,

Attending on the Lord of life,

Who came to earth to end all strife.”

Wexford Carol

“’Come in, come in, ye kings!

And kiss the feet of God.’”

The Three Kings

“The wise men are no longer wise;

God in the crib has bewildered them.

They place their gifts around the sides.

Kneel and pray. Adore him.”

Hodie

“The Word becomes incarnate

And yet remains on high.

And cherubim sing anthems

To shepherds from the sky.”

A Great and Mighty Wonder

“Hush, hush! A virgin has given birth to God,

As wished in God’s mercy.”

Resonet in Laudibus

“A child is born in man’s abode,

And in that child no blemish show’d.

That child was God, that child was man,

And in that child our life began.”

Let us Gather Hand in Hand

I wish you a Christmas of joy in knowing and adoring the Savior!

Blown Away by the Incarnation

2011-12-14T09:52:00.001-06:00

On December 1, we received a wonderful Christmas gift—our first grandchild. I was blessed to visit the family for eight great days, including lots of time loving on her. Because of her birth’s proximity to Christmas, I often thought of the baby in the manger when I held her, and my mind was blown away by the truth of the incarnation.

How can God become a baby? How could he remain God and yet be totally dependent and helpless? How did Jesus grow in wisdom and knowledge like other children when he is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end? How can the Creator be enclosed in a created body?

I am thankful that faith doesn’t rest upon logical understanding. Such knowledge is impossible to grasp with our limited thinking abilities. To embrace the mystery of the incarnation I must rely upon the observations of those who saw and knew Jesus when he was on the earth—those who recognized him as truly God and truly man. They didn’t totally understand it either, but they believed it nevertheless because they were overwhelmed by the evidence.

· John called Jesus the Word who was God (John 1:1).

· Peter said, “We did not follow cleverly concocted fables when we made known to you the power and return of our Lord Jesus Christ; no, we were eyewitnesses of his grandeur (2 Pet. 1:16).

· Upon seeing the resurrected Christ, Thomas exclaimed, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28).

Paul, who also encountered the resurrected Jesus, explained the incarnation this way: “Though he existed in the form of God did not regard equality with God as something to be grasped, but emptied himself by taking on the form of a slave, by looking like other men, and by sharing in human nature” (Phil. 2:6-7, NET).

The truth is impossible to comprehend logically; it can only be accepted when we realize that our understanding is limited as human beings. Just as my dogs can’t grasp most of my words, I can only understand in part a God who is beyond me.

I urge you to join me in taking time this Christmas to consider the dependent baby in the manger and his identity as God himself who chose to come to earth and become one of us in order to rescue the world from its sin and helplessness.

Thankful in Everything? Really?

2011-11-17T10:14:00.001-06:00

Each year I ask God for verses to pray for myself for the next twelve months, focusing on some weak area in my walk of faith. During 2011, I have prayed 1 Thess. 5:16-18: “Always rejoice, constantly pray, in everything give thanks. For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (NET). Apparently, all three of these commands are included in the statement that it is God’s will for us. The terms always, constantly, and in everything mean that these responses are to be part of our daily lives.

As we approach the celebration of Thanksgiving here in the U.S., many of us consider the good things for which we are thankful, and that is appropriate and good. It may be, however, that we should spend time being thankful for the other circumstances and even heartaches for which it is difficult to rejoice and give thanks.

How can we be thankful and joyful in everything? Here are some things that I have learned to do.

First, consider the greatness and goodness of God in the midst of the tough situations. How has he worked and revealed himself? How has he protected and supported you in the trials?

Second, examine how God has changed you to become more like Jesus because of all that has happened. Are you more loving? More unselfish? More peaceful? More prayerful? Have you grown to trust God more and become more dependent on him?

Third, how has your response to the hard times allowed you to be a light to others? What have you learned about compassion for others dealing with hurt, loss, or illness? Have you learned to be more supportive and loving? Have you shown others your faith shining through the problems?

As I look back on this past year, I would call it a hard one, but God has been a rock, a refuge, and a source of strength when I faced hurt and confusion. When I felt lost, I knew that he was there to guide me step-by-step even though I prefer having a roadmap. He has drawn me into greater dependence upon him for provision and for guidance than ever before. I am grateful that he is changing me, and I rejoice in his presence.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving this year, let’s not be content with focusing on the obvious blessings, but let’s spend time considering everything and thank God for it.

Processing Herman Cain and Joe Paterno Stories

2011-11-12T10:50:00.001-06:00

The fact that the world is broken has once again been confirmed by headline stories this week. Someone is lying in the Cain saga, and many are guilty of failing in their responsibilities at Penn State. Some reactions to the stories surprise me, too. Our world is broken by sin, affecting our actions and our thinking. I am trying to process these messes. I would love to hear your thoughts after you read mine.

My heart breaks from the hurt and pain of the young men whose lives were tragically affected by sexual abuse while those who had the power to stop it did nothing when they learned of what was going on. How many boys were molested after the powers that be turned deaf ears to the situation? How can football be so commanding that it trumps morality? How can Paterno and the university leadership fail to value the children affected? And how can the students think that Paterno bears no guilt? How can they think that he bears no more responsibility as the Head Coach than Mike McQueary, his young assistant? The greater the responsibility, the more accountability there is. I find myself confused by the violent response.

Herman Cain says that the women who have accused him are lying, and they say that he is. How are voters to respond? Certainly, we aren’t to determine someone’s guilt or innocence based on rumors and allegations. Even in the workplace, however, wise leaders often place an alleged sexual harasser on leave while the situation is clarified. How can anyone vote for Cain without more facts? Can we vote for someone based solely on his politics or does his integrity matter? Are some of the same people who were adamant that Bill Clinton should be put out of office now turning a deaf ear to the women who have alleged harassment because Cain’s policies are more in line with theirs? As a woman, I tend to believe it when this many women speak out, but I don’t want to judge too quickly. I know they could simply want revenge of some kind or publicity. (That doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense when some of them are anonymous and won settlements against him years ago.) Without declaring him guilty, I still wouldn’t vote for him without more disclosure. We can’t risk electing a President who lacks integrity.

As a follower of Christ, integrity matters. I cannot vote for someone simply because he/she claims the Christian card or agrees with my political views. I must pray for and publically call for justice for the marginalized victims in both cases. I must pray for Cain, Paterno, and even Sandusky--everyone involved. I pray for repentance where it is needed and for the truth to come out. I pray for healing for those who have been victimized. I pray for Christ to return and usher in a perfect world.

Kim Kardashian and the Minute Marriage

2011-11-01T13:08:00.001-05:00

Explaining her divorce filing from NBA player Kris Humphries after only ten weeks of marriage, reality star Kim Kardashian released this statement: "I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever but sometimes things don't work out as planned." Court documents cite irreconcilable differences as the reason behind the divorce. Humphries seems upset by the filing, saying he is “devastated” and willing to work on the marriage.

Apparently, they had plenty of time to plan an elaborate made-for-television wedding, spending lavish amounts of money, but they don’t have time to plan their marriage and discuss the issues that are now irreconcilable.

What thinking in our culture has led to the “minute marriage” or even those that last longer but get no more effort to fix the problems than this one? What attitudes that devastate marriage are flourishing even in the church? Here are three thinking patterns I hear when I listen carefully.

First, the prevalent thinking is that marriage is supposed to make me happy. When it doesn’t, it’s time for a change because it’s broken. In contrast, biblically marriage is part of God’s character-building work. It is one way for iron to sharpen iron (Prov. 27:17). A good marriage that projects the oneness of Christ and the church is a picture to the world of love and faithfulness. Such a marriage is the framework for building strong families.

Second, we have made the most important thing the wedding rather than the lives that will be joined together. There is little sense of the sacredness of vows. God takes vows seriously, and we must also. When so many brides and grooms write their own vows, it’s easy to forget what is being promised—to be faithful until death. Who married Kim and Kris? Did they talk about anything other than the ceremony? Did they get any counseling about the marriage itself?

Third, we live in an age when we expect instant everything. We get frustrated when our computers are slow and our internet isn’t working. Even some “Christian” counselors often tell their clients to give up on their marriages without ever really working on them. There is nothing instant about a good marriage. It takes time to learn to work together and through problems. We come into marriage as two very different people, and God uses those differences to help us each grow into better people as we learn to work as a team. That, however, takes time. After almost 40 years at it, my husband and I are still learning how to be better spouses for one another. Marriage is about dying to self and becoming more unselfish. It is about communicating our differences so we can become better partners for one another. It is about being friends and giving that a chance to grow and bloom. All these things take time.

If I could say one thing to all of you about marriage, it is this—don’t give up on your marriage. God is the business of changing people, and that includes you and me!

What other thinking patterns do you see behind our short-lived marriages?