True Amish Stories

The Good, Bad, and Ugly

2017-04-27T17:00:00.000-04:00

I've been relaxed on writing for a while - surgery, a new grandson, a daughter's wedding. Life.

But that doesn't mean I've "sat out" on learning about the Amish and those who leave nor on helping ex-Amish who come across my path.

Thin, quiet Jacob is the newest "fence jumper" who landed in my life. He asked me to teach him to drive . . . using my car. Husband refuses to ride along when ex-Amish learn that a vehicle is stronger and faster than a buggy. So Jacob and I drove alone through parking lots, back roads, practiced parking, and reviewed road rules.
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Spicy Tomato Jam

2016-08-22T08:00:00.002-04:00

It's a crisp - 68 degree - morning here in Ohio. As summer begins to cool and close down, we have an abundance of tomatoes from our tiny garden.

When we are out and about, we pick up a local publication - The Vendor - which is aimed at Amish, Mennonite, other Plain Communities, and farmers. Remember there are many individuals who live the Plain life - that doesn't mean they're Amish. But Amish do live under the Plain people umbrella.

Anyhow, in The Vendor this month is a Spicy Tomato Jam recipe my husband tried. It used some of our tomato overload. If you're in the same boat - or are curious what Amish, others, and farmers might do - give this a try:

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Curiosities and Challenges about the Amish and my Book

2016-05-16T12:38:00.000-04:00

Earlier this month an Ohio library invited me to speak and to sell and sign my book.

After I arrived and set up my book table, hung the Amish clothes, and booted up my power point, the librarian introduced me. The mixed audience leaned forward and eagerly listened while I showed authentic Amish clothes and shared my story. I detailed my experiences with the "fence jumpers" and about my book, Beyond Buggies and Bonnets: Seven true stories of former Amish.

From the back of the room, a man shot up his hand. After I acknowledged him, he asked, "Why aren't there as many women as guys who leave and stay out?"
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Stories of Shunning

2016-05-01T07:59:00.000-04:00

It doesn't just happen in the Amish culture.

Religions around the world shun those who leave the faith, the "infidels," the "wayward" ones. I've known parents who shun a child for a behavior or decision against them.

But since there's tremendous curiosity - and misunderstanding - about Amish shunning - which is not practiced in all orders - here are a few stories from those who've personally experienced it since leaving the Amish world behind:

Esther shared:
Here's my story.... We left 13 years ago and are still being shunned by our families. I went through a grieving period for them. At this point in time they talk to us, but don't eat with us or drive with us or do business with us. Some of our family are more like a distant relative than close family. Our kids don't know most of their cousins and my parents have no relationship with our kids.
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Do You know the Amish?

2016-04-18T11:05:00.000-04:00

Usually I pen posts about the Swartzentruber or conservative Old Order Amish. This time, I want to ask how well do you know the Amish in general?

Some of these statements may be easy to you, some a challenge.

Ready?

1) The Amish Culture is 600-years-old:
True
False

2) Amish share similar beliefs and behaviors:
True
False

3) Amish and Mennonites are nearly the same in behavior:
True
False

4) Mennonites came out of the Amish:
True
False

5) Only married Amish men grow beards and mustaches:
True
False

6) Amish send their children to school only through the 8th grade:
True
False

Let's see how you did. Here are the answers:
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Amish on the Internet

2016-04-04T11:03:00.000-04:00

Last year my pal and author colleague Janet Perez Eckles invited me as a guest on her internet radio show. "Brenda please share about the Amish and what you're learning by helping those who leave," she urged.

How could I turn down an opportunity to share discoveries about the Amish with the world? Janet's producer set up the connection and she and I chatted comfortably for an hour - I from my home - the marvels of technology! "Wow, I never knew that," she frequently exclaimed throughout the interview.
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Amish Voting Behavior

2016-03-21T02:50:00.000-04:00

Those of us who know/assist those who've left the Amish use descriptive names:
ex-Amish, Former Amish, New English, Fence Jumpers.

Even "they" use these names! So in light of that - plus it being an election year - I had to share this . . .

One popular myth is that Amish don't vote - truth is,
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Is Rumspringa a worry to Amish parents?

2016-03-11T04:10:00.000-05:00

Thank You
for reading my blog posts and to those who leave comments! Speaking of . . . here's one I received recently,

I just wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog and have
learned a lot from your stories. Thank you for opening my eyes to how  
diverse Amish culture actually is.

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Her World In and Out of the Amish

2016-02-29T10:45:00.000-05:00

Today, I share Saloma's Story. She grew up Amish and left as a young married adult. The former Amish who I've had most experiences with are teens or those in their early twenties. Saloma, however, left after marriage and children. Here's her touching story . . .

Down Memory Lane

"Hi, my name is Saloma and I'm the oldest child in my family. I have two brothers and two sisters. I was born in 1977 into a very conservative Old Order Amish family in Fredonia, PA.

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The Hidden World of Amish Gangs

2016-02-12T13:15:00.000-05:00

Are you serious? Amish gangs? Are they like violent Mafia-type groups?

Naw. No TV hype here, just insider trivia.

In most cases Amish gangs are teen cliques with mutual interests. Some of the gangs are wilder than others, and some gangs pretty much hold to the Amish ways.

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What Happened to My Life as Amish

2016-02-01T08:17:00.000-05:00

Jesey has had an exciting, tumultuous journey unlike any other person I know. Here's her story in her own words . . .

"Do I ever regret my experience? No.

Does it sometimes feel like it was a surreal dream and other times more real than my life today? Most assuredly.

Would I recommend it? Only to a very, very select few.

I am the oldest of 10 in a Catholic family from upstate NY. When I was about 11 we started the journey to becoming Amish. We met a newlywed Old Order Amish couple (Dan and Ruth) on a train as we were heading back to NY for the family holidays. Dad was intrigued. He struck up a conversation with the couple and the rest is history.

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Curiosities, Confessions, and FREE e-book

2016-01-21T11:08:00.001-05:00

Whether it's a speaking venue, media interview, or booksigning, I'm frequently asked these common questions.

Where do you live? Are you married? Do you have a family?

We live in Ohio – home to the largest number of Amish settlements nationwide. My husband and I have raised two daughters but, along through the years, God has asked me to temporarily “parent” other children.

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Speaking the first half of 2016

2016-01-12T13:40:00.000-05:00

IT'S FUN, UNEXPECTED and WELCOMED. . .

I'm asked to write guest blogs, sign my book, and answer questions in media interviews.

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Suspendergate = Amish Rules on Suspender Use

2015-12-23T13:38:00.000-05:00

Amazing! Did you know about Suspendergate?

There are different rules on suspender-use among the Amish, just as there are rules on hats, shoes, and ladies' bonnets.

This post provides you some insight into the varied and complex Amish world. One cannot say, "All Amish" do this or that.

My learning curve about the culture and its confines began in 2009 when the "Ex-Men" [a group of former Swartzentrubers] graced my life. Then Mosie, our first "adopted" ex-Amish son moved into our home.
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Unbelievable Update on Marvin - Chapter 7 of my book

2015-12-04T13:28:00.000-05:00

He left his PA Old Order Amish settlement. Then he went back. Left again.

The second time he left his Amish life, the ex-Amish guy who picked him up in a car and brought him to Ohio, stopped in our home and introduced us to Marvin. At 18-years-young, he looked so naive. He'd left behind his Amish appearance -- English clothes, clean-shaven, short hair.

I wrote in detail about our relationship with Marvin, his near-death car accident and making me his medical POA during the delicate body repair surgery.

What's he doing since my book came out?
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Update on ex-Amish Verna - Chapter 6 of my book

2015-11-25T13:24:00.000-05:00

Chapter 6 of Beyond Buggies and Bonnets: Seven true stories of former Amish describes an Old Order Amish girl. Her upbringing and family life was NOT what you'd read in any Amish fiction book.

But it was her truth.

Verna grew up in Ohio - home to the largest number of Amish settlements nationwide. She left the Amish at a young age, later met and married Dave. He also had left the Amish. They began building a life together.

Most of chapter 6 takes place in Dave and Verna's home, where she nurtured her first child. What's the exciting news since the book release?
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Monroe - Chapter 5 of my book - Update

2015-11-17T13:23:00.000-05:00

Monroe was tall, slender, blue-eyed, and oh so young when we first met. He was Amish. And our initial meeting was at his married sister's home when I was trying to help her get a birth certificate.

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Dramatic Update on Sarah - Chapter 4 of my book

2015-11-09T13:21:00.000-05:00

She chose to leave her Swartzenuber Order late one Thursday night.

No transportation, job, or birth certificate.

No education beyond 8th grade.
Little cash.
A small sack of English clothes.
Hopes of finding a home for the night.

We became that home.

I wrote about picking her up at WalMart, how I helped Sarah launch her new life in our "forbidden" world, and her first steps on the journey in being ex-Amish. Sarah is Chapter 4 of Beyond Buggies and Bonnets.

As a Swartzentruber female she was forbidden from shaving any body hair - remember that part in my book? She needed teeth. Her order avoids licensed dentists. A settlement dentist puls a tooth with a cavity rather than repair. The white kapp represents submission, and in her settlement, signified she was an unmarried - but of marriageable age - female.

And since the publication of Beyond Buggies and Bonnets, . . . here's an amazing update:

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Update on Josh - Chapter 3 of my book

2015-10-28T13:15:00.000-04:00

Amish Jonas, Chap 3 in my book

He's come a long way from his Swartzentruber Amish days, where Jonas was the settlement's buggy repairman.

And since writing my Beyond Buggies and Bonnets book, ex-Amish Jonas (now known as Josh) has experienced several more changes! He...

moved out of his apartment
married Sarah (she's Chapter 4)
started a new business
learned to run Power Point at his church and
plans to move to Colorado this month!

We "adopted" Josh as our nephew because he's the cousin of our son-in-law Harvey. And I'm thankful we keep in touch. He's shown great independence, maturity, and spiritual growth.

He's also retained his quick wit and sense of humor. Remember, that part of Chapter 3 where he bought the BB gun at an auction?

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Why do Amish leave? Ex-Amish answers

2015-10-17T12:29:00.000-04:00

In my last post I answered a common question, "Why do Amish leave?"

As promised then, here are answers culled from "the horses' mouth" - the ex-Amish themselves. Some may surprise you.

Male - it may be because of the non-stop rules to conform . . . or be shunned by the community. For me it was because of a disagreement about doctrine. I was asked to take a hike, but not all were in agreement about that, I found out later.

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Why Do Amish Leave? My answer

2015-10-09T11:32:00.000-04:00

"Why do some Amish leave?" is a question I'm asked when on speaking engagements.

While time doesn't permit a detailed answer, this is the condensed version I give:

In my experiences with former and current Amish, I’ve learned there are three main reasons they leave:

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Update on ex-Amish Harvey

2015-09-24T09:00:00.000-04:00

He's chapter 2 of Beyond Buggies and Bonnets: Seven true stories of former Amish. And he's my son-in love!

Since the publication of the book, readers want to know how and what Harvey is doing. He's been "out" of the uber strict Swartzentruber Order of Amish for six years now.

He can be stoic and serious (Amish breeding). And he has a terrific sense of humor. Here he is as a Duck Dynasty character!

This summer our family vacationed on Kelly's Island in Lake Erie, Ohio and Harvey - like most Amish - loves to fish.
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Update on ex-Amish Mosie

2015-09-11T20:58:00.000-04:00

He's chapter 1 of Beyond Buggies and Bonnets: Seven true stories of former Amish. Many readers have asked me how he's doing . . .

Well, here's his life changing update!
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Love your blog but . . .

2015-08-28T04:03:00.000-04:00

She emailed me, "I love your blog but I have questions."

Great! I love curiosity.

She wanted to learn about the young men who leave the Amish. Since it's common for Amish women to do the cooking and home care she asked, "How hard is it for these young men that leave learn how to cook?"

The answer varies among particular families - but those I've met from the Swartzentruber order knew nearly nothing about food preparation to sustain their appetites.

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The Colorful Amish Buggies

2015-08-13T14:00:00.000-04:00

Love learning about the Amish culture? Want to know "everything" Amish?

This post might be your fave.

Have you always thought Amish buggies are black? Here's a surprise!

The Old School - also called Nebraska Amish - have white-topped buggies! Any exterior lights or reflectors are considered vain "ornaments." I'd think a white-topped buggy would be easier to see on the road at night. Interestingly, this is one of the few orders that prohibit women from wearing a bonnet!

Nebraska Amish were named for Yost B. Yoder, an Amish bishop from Nebraska, who helped start this group.

Ready for more?

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