Beyond the Punchline

Now Available: Beyond the Punchline 2007 Year in Review

2009-01-26T14:10:00.007-05:00

Better late than never :)

Think of it less as "current events" and more as a "historical document", right up there with the Bible, the 9/11 Commission Report and MAD magazine ;P

Order your piece of history today!

Also available "Beyond the Punchline: 2006 Year in Review"... same sh*t, different pile :)

Bhutto's Son Named Her Successor: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-31T00:00:00.000-05:00

Hey folks. This is going to be my last cartoon for a little while.

I started doing these nightly web-comics back on December 13th 2005. 536 cartoons and (now) two books later, I figured this would be a good time for me to take a little break and hopefully regain some of the sanity I've no doubt lost obsessing over current events for the last two years ;)

As always, thank you for stopping by and checking out my work. Hopefully you will continue to come by and enjoy the archives... while I'm away, enjoying the geese and squirrels at the sanitarium ;)

Don't worry, I'll be checking-in periodically to remind you that I'm still alive; and of course, to let you know when the 2007 "Year in Review" is available to order.

Until then, I want to wish you all the best for the new year and I'll catch up with ya' (reloaded and reinvigorated) sometime in 2008.

Peace :)

Benazir Bhutto 1953 -2007: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

Tiger Attack At San Francisco Zoo: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-27T00:00:00.000-05:00

Pope Benedict Delivers Christmas Blessing: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-26T00:00:00.000-05:00

NORAD Tracks Santa Around The World: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-25T00:00:00.001-05:00

Zimbabwe Prints New Banknotes: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-24T00:00:00.001-05:00

Putin Named Person of the Year: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-21T00:00:00.001-05:00

Dick Cheney's Office Fire: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-20T00:00:00.001-05:00

With all the investigations into the multitude of misdeeds committed by the Bush Administration, I seriously doubt that "terrorism" was the first thing on most people's mind when they heard that Dick Cheney's office mysteriously caught fire.

I mean sure, current U.S. foreign policy has done more to encourage and incite terrorism than deter it; but somehow I don't think that involves terrorist's traveling all the way to Washington just to return the favor, by enabling the Vice President to elude oversight and accountability by helping him destroy CIA interrogation tapes, visitor logs and other subpoenaed documents, under the guise of an "electrical fire".

Of course the claim that this was anything but accidental is purely speculative, at least without the evidence to support it... like the charred remains of Cheney's "pants on fire" ;)

Peter Jackson Plans New "Hobbit" Films: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-19T00:00:00.000-05:00

If the key to success is to always leave your audience wanting more, then I have to admit that by the end of Peter Jackson's "Return of the King", I'd had my fill of Middle Earth ...and multiplexes in general.

Now don't get me wrong, the movies were great, especially when compared to the usual brand of insipid, uninspired, vanity driven vehicles that Hollywood plops out on a regular basis. In fact, I would say that Jackson's "Lord of the Rings" was probably the last great epic that truly warranted the price of admission, to be admired on the big screen. Yet unfortunately, while the movies themselves were good, the experience of going to the cinema to see them is what I believe has contributed to the sharp decline in box office attendance ever since.

I don't know about you, but I find it difficult to share the same excitement as moviegoers who are also willing to line up for hours to express that enthusiasm, by being the first to take a seat inside the theatre; and in the process, create a vortex that eventually sucks everyone else into lining-up ridiculously early as well.

Having to stand in line for three hours just to get a seat because those in front of you decided they had nothing better to do with their day, is frustrating enough... but when the mouth breathers who initiated this chain reaction end up passing out and being carried away, leaving you and everyone else trapped in a line which they started, the ultimate movie-going experience is no longer eagerly anticipated... it's damn well expected.

Castro Hints At Retirement: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-18T00:00:00.000-05:00

Perhaps realizing that he can't take Cuba with him, an ailing 80 year-old Fidel Castro has finally started to consider the possibility that he might eventually one day pass away; and in doing so, leave his country without a dictator to carry on his socialist agenda, which began in 1959.

In a letter to state television, Castro hinted at retiring by expressing his concerns about clinging to office and obstructing the path of younger people; however, I wonder if by "younger" Fidel is simply referring to his 76 year-old little brother, Raul.

Well, I guess if there is one good thing to be said about dictators, it's that at least they're not pharaohs, who bury their servants alive with them. Rather, it seems that dictators are so reluctant to prepare for their own demise that such attention towards the fate of their own people is barely even considered... which at least gives them a fighting chance.

Musharraf Ends Pakistan Emergency Rule: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-17T00:07:00.000-05:00

Click here to read more about Pakistan's State of Emergency.

Baseball Stars Outed In Steroid Report: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-14T00:00:00.001-05:00

As revealed in the Mitchell Report, the use of performance enhancing drugs in professional baseball has reached epidemic proportions among its athletes; who despite the league's attempts to improve its anti-doping policy, have had their widespread use of steroids go undetected... at least until now.

In response to this investigation, many recommendations have been made to help improve baseball's image by eliminating its "drug culture" from the clubhouse. However, in as much as it should be the players who are held accountable for their actions, I also believe the teams themselves should bare responsibility for their inaction, by creating atmospheres of complacency that enabled such abuse to occur.

The way I see it, since steroid use has become so rampant in major league baseball, rather than testing and punishing players on an individual basis, why no implement a team-based policy... resulting in one BIG urine sample? Thus, if the roster fails its "communal" drug test, the team does not play and forfeits each game, until it is finally clean.

I think that you would find that with the absence of gate venue to help pay for their players' contracts, organizations would suddenly become a lot more pro-active in flushing out the juicers, so that the rest of the team could go back on the field and continue to make money.

Ike Turner 1931 - 2007: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-13T00:00:00.001-05:00

Despite his accomplishments as a "rock n' roll pioneer", it appears that Ike Turner will probably be remembered more for "hits" on his ex-wife than on the pop charts during the 60s and 70s.

To those who grew up after the detonation of his marriage to Tina Turner, "Ike Turner" became a synonym for domestic abuse... thanks in no small part to the Hollywood biopic "What's Love Got To Do With It" and its Oscar nominated performance by Lawrence Fishburne.

Led Zeppelin Stage Reunion Gig: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

The reaction to Led Zeppelin's reunion 27 years after the band split up, makes me wonder which of today's "popular" artists would be as celebrated in as many years... My guess would be Led Zeppelin :)

Now, I'm not saying that all of today's music is terrible; but I'm pretty sure that in the 1970's there weren't that many people under 30 who were so dissatisfied with the music scene, they wished for popular bands from the 40's to comeback and help improve the situation. Come to think of it, I wonder if any of them are around today... at least they play their own instruments.

If Led Zeppelin does decide to remain together and go on tour, I hope the band saves the 30 year-old nostalgia for the stage and not the hotel rooms and underage groupies; who knows, one of them might be a grandchild.

Oprah Endorses Obama for U.S. President: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-11T00:00:00.001-05:00

Point out someone whose political views are shaped by celebrity endorsements and I will join you in mocking them :D

Perhaps this is just an American phenomenon; but to me, the idea of supporting a candidate based solely on the recommendation of a popular TV personality makes about as much sense as recruiting a Heisman trophy winner to conduct open heart surgery. The way I see it, celebrities are a distraction from our problems, not a solution to them.

If Americans thought Christian conservatives were uninformed and easily manipulated, then take into consideration the belief that the millions of women who watch Oprah everyday not only need the talk show maven to tell them to vote, but apparently who to vote for as well... At least God is humble enough not to endorse candidates and allow his followers to cast their own ballots.

CIA Destroys Terrorist Interrogation Videos: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-10T00:00:00.001-05:00

If the CIA destroys videos of terrorism suspects because they have no "intelligence value", rather than to conceal their use of "harsh" interrogation methods, then I can't wait until they finally get around to dealing with American Idol... because watching that rubbish is absolute TORTURE!

While I understand the decision by the CIA to withhold specific information about the tapes over fears that it may tarnish the agency's reputation, I also know that 2002 was almost six years ago; and the way I see it, after all that's happened in recent years, accusations of torture do not damage its reputation... it IS its reputation.

Perhaps the problem is that to the CIA, "transparency" means that nobody is supposed to see them. It seems to me that in order to improve its standing within the international community, the agency needs to open up, rather than close itself off to the rest of the world. People are inherently afraid of the unknown... but they are even more fearful of things like rendition and water-boarding.

If the CIA is unable to release actual footage of its interrogation practices to the public then at the very least they should make an effort to create something like it. For example, instead of water-boarding to produce the effects of drowning, the suspect could be tickle-tortured to produce the effects of flooding... That is unless the guy they use to play Bin Laden is too busy ;)

The John Darwin Disappearance: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-07T00:00:00.001-05:00

Okay, stop me if you've heard this one before... An amnesiac canoeist walks into a police station and throws his hands in the air. "I give up!" he tells the officer on duty. "What did you do?" he asks in return. "...I looked everywhere, but I still can't find my f*cking canoe!" :P

Personally, I don't know what's worse, perishing in a canoe accident... or merely pretendin g to. I mean, sure people have lost their lives in canoes before and the bodies were never recovered; but "Deliverance" was a movie, and the only reason why it happened was because hillbilly's were shooting at them... not because they were "sinking" in debt.

You know, for all the effort that John Darwin made to stage a convincing canoe accident to fake his own demise and disappear for five years, one might think that he would have been a bit more creative in his explanation upon his return. Look, if it's really that easy to fool British authorities then why didn't he just pretend to have amnesia in the first place and then tell all the bill collectors phoning his house that they've got the wrong number?

Ahmadinejad Declares Victory over US: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-06T00:00:00.001-05:00

Forget terrorism or nuclear annihilation, it seems to me that the real danger to the United States (or at least its reputation) appears to be the threat of absolutely NOTHING.

Such was the case when they couldn't find Bin Laden in Afghanistan or WMDs in Iraq; the Bush Administration has thrown the U.S. into one unwinnable situation after another, by losing its justification for military action (for the third time!)... and in doing so has guaranteed itself defeat, by handing victory over to countries for literally doing NOTHING.

Fortunately with Iran, the U.S. did not have to commit billions of dollars and thousands of troop lives towards the realization that its government was wrong (yet again).

Bush Criticized After Iran Report: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-05T00:00:00.001-05:00

You know, I completely understand President Bush's reluctance to accept a U.S. intelligence report determining that Iran halted its atomic weapons program back in 2003; after all, this is the same intelligence community from which he cherry-picked false information to justify his ill-fated invasion of Iraq... I mean, how creditable can they possibly be?

Despite the fact that Iran's nuclear capabilities never presented any real threat, the Bush Administration appears less-than-thrilled by the revelation that Tehran is not pursuing nuclear weapons. Unlike Libya, whose decision to halt its WMD program was good enough for the White House, President Bush is holding firm on Iran, by demanding that it somehow unlearns what it already knows... presumably through some sort of collective amnesia; like the one which makes 24% of Americans forget the fact that Bush has never been right about ANYTHING!

So while he insists that "all options" are still on the table with regards to dealing with the nuclear "standoff" with Iran, my guess is that giving up and figuring out another route to the oil isn't one of them.

Chavez, Putin Push To Expand Power: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

To me, the delicate nature of democracy is no more evident than in the manner in which it can easily be used to "self-destruct" (seemingly at anytime)... provided that there are enough "accomplices" to help make it happen. After all, a democratic state is merely one in which its people are free to make their own decisions, even if the result yields the willful surrender of that right.

Venezuela's negative experience with "Western $tyle" democracy helped give rise to Hugo Chavez and his "Bolivarian revolution". And while people's distrust of capitalism and U.S. influence may have allowed for some of his reforms, Venezuelans appear unwilling to let their "democracy" be used to trade in a familiar system of governance for one which they've never had (with perhaps the exception of past "dictatorships").

Unlike Russia, where fond memories of its glory years as a Communist Superpower combined with its disastrous introduction to capitalism has given Vladimir Putin an extended mandate to use democracy to undo itself and revert the nation back to the familiarity of past Soviet-era "stability"... complete with accusations of intimidation and vote-rigging.

Evel Knievel 1938 - 2007: Today's Cartoon

2007-12-03T00:00:00.001-05:00

It seems to me that since Evel Knievel is no longer suffering the accumulated pain of his years of daredevil motorcycle jumping, now would probably be a good time for him (or at least those on his behalf) to start planning his long awaited comeback.

I mean think about it, what an amazing opportunity it is for a stunt performer who routinely risked life and limb to entertain his millions of fans, to finally be able to return to the spotlight he craved after years of debilitating illness and injuries; and take motorcycle jumping to a whole new level... without having to worry about the consequences.

Personally, I can't think of a more fitting tribute to a man who was celebrated as much for his spectacular jumps, as he was for his bone-splintering landings ;)

Sudan's Islamic Teddy Bear Scandal: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-30T00:00:00.001-05:00

Alright, I can see how people might get offended when a newspaper prints cartoons depicting their religious icons as terrorists... but where is the harm in naming a teddy bear after a child, who happens to also be named after the most revered figure in Islam?

I mean, if this is the sort of touchy attitude that Muslim's have towards the representation of their prophet (especially by Westerners), then why do so many of them insist on naming their children after him; because let's face it, not everyone grows up to become a "messenger of God"... if you know what I mean.

Look, it's one thing for a teacher to offend Islam by letting her students name a stuff toy after a boy named "Muhammad"; but if that kid isn't exactly the star student, then not only should the entire class be thrown in jail, but the child's parents as well.

It seems to me that with all this outrage being expressed towards the Sudanese government for their imprisonment of a British woman for what appears to be a cultural misunderstanding, the furor over the "Muhammad Bear" may quickly turn into the frenzy over this Christmas' "Tickle-Me Elmo".

Musharraf Resigns from Military: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-29T00:00:00.001-05:00

You know, for a military ruler whose declared marshal law, President Pervez Musharraf appears to be an awfully benevolent dictator... at least by Burmese standards.

I mean, since imposing his state of emergency, Musharraf has permitted exiled former prime ministers to return and openly challenge his leadership and has even agreed to give up command of the nation's military, thus relinquishing his only real power base.

Sure, these can be viewed as positive steps towards reinstating Pakistan's democracy, but I thought "marshal law" was suppose to take that away... not give it back.

Now, it seems to me that for a country that has been under the repressive rule of a military regime for the last eight years, Pakistan's state of emergency has actually moved the nation closer to democracy under marshal law than it ever was without it. Either that, or Musharraf is doing things all wrong... But I won't tell him, if you don't ;)

Bush Hosts Israeli Palestinian Peace Summit: Today's Cartoon

2007-11-28T00:00:00.000-05:00

While President Bush is not in favor of any timetables with regard to ending his own wars, apparently he has no problem adding them to other conflicts; which under his mediation, makes the prospect of peace between Israeli and Palestinians appear as likely as a Beatles reunion.

Now, I don't mean to be pessimistic towards a summit aimed at helping to end 40 years of bitter violence, but how can there possibly be any peace negotiations if one side of that conflict isn't even invited to participate?

Oh sure, Iran, Hezbollah and Hamas can be excluded ... but they certainly can't be ignored; especially when Tehran is announcing the development of new long-range missiles, capable of striking Israel.

The way I see it, real progress in resolving the Israeli/Palestinian (and greater Arab) conflict does not involve carefully stage-managed hand shakes between Ehud Olmert and Mahoud Abbas at a U.S. Naval Academy, but actual dialog between adversaries at a neutral location; which unfortunately for President Bush means that negotiations would probably take much longer than the 14 months that he has left to salvage his legacy.