Bible Studies from an Asshole

Oh no he didn’t! Um… why yes… yes I did…

2015-08-04T20:11:00.001-07:00

You know these memes annoy the fuck outta you. So since no Christians I know have the balls to attack this the way Jesus would do, with a whip and over-turning tables kinda attitude, by all means… allow me:

You’re welcome.

LET’S EAT JESUS! The point Christians forget about THE BODY

2015-07-31T23:01:00.001-07:00

I do have to admire Jesus for one thing. He is one of the most respected leaders in human history despite the fact that his last request to his followers was, in effect, “Eat me!” Despite the fact that in John 14:12 he says: “whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father,” whenever I say “Eat me!” to people, I’m escorted out of the church by security. It’s just not fair.

This got turned into the Eucharist where people believe that bread is literally transubstantiated into the body of Jesus for your consumption. Now forget whether or not your Jesus is gluten free. What we learned about the “body of Christ” by Paul, in what I think is one of the most beautifully written metaphors, is this:

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ . . . the body is not made up of one part but of many. Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
1 Corinthians 12:12-20

Now I’d rather use that metaphor to describe humanity in general, and not the church. Because the church isn’t going to get the point of this at all. They’ve proven it throughout history. They prove it each Sunday!

When you go to get communion, they tell you it’s the body of Christ. But every wafer looks exactly the same, which suggests homogeny. When I go to get a chicken, I have options: breast, leg, wing, my personal favorite is the thigh. But no. Church makes them all look the same. They’re serving boneless, skinless Jesus strips. That’s just not healthy. And they don’t even offer any dipping sauces!

Although you have Jesus and beverage, even if in small amounts. If you just throw in a French fry you can instantly sell it as a Body of Christ Value Meal.

But I digress.

The parable of the body is well known, but rarely, if ever, have I ever noticed modern Christianity grasp one point within it. It’s not even a hidden part. It’s so well stated that it’s impossible to miss. But they miss it because it’s where the real socialism lies, and they’d rather pretend that doesn’t exist in the Bible:

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

1 Corinthians 12:21-26

Again it carries on the whole thing about parts not refusing each other’s necessity. But these examples pertain to rank. This is where one stops thinking about mere equality and starts thinking about justice. And despite the rightwing talking points, it is about equal outcome, not just equal opportunity. To them, having the opportunity out there as a free-for-all is not fair in the least. It rewards the strong.

I still love that it talks about body parts. The “less honorable” parts are given “special modesty.” Yeah, that’s a delicate way to put it. What it’s trying to say is to hide the naughty bits, but hiding is shame. Show “greater honor” it then says to the parts that lacked it? Hey everyone, did you see my awesome organ? Or if you’re in church and someone compliments your hair and you say, “That’s nothing, you should see my vagina!”

They’d be escorted out with me by security.

The verse you see above calls for rewarding the weak and ignoring the strong. Boy, would that ever make rightwing heads explode!

I see this point missed every single time a white person wonders why they can’t have White History Month, or a straight person says they want Straight Pride. They both insist it’s not fair. They both forget that these things help the downtrodden reach equal status. The white person should be thankful they don’t need White History Month. The straight person should be thankful they don’t need Straight Pride.

But no, they gotta whine, play victim, and try to pretend those needs aren’t necessary to the people they then insult, proving it is.

So in the grand scheme of the gospel, I’m still very much a thigh man. And I love the original recipe, rather than the bastardized, socialism-bashing version of today’s Christianity. Although I say that, but have no intention in going to church. Personally, I prefer this metaphor for humanity in general. You have a far greater chance of seeing this philosophy played out amongst the non-religious. It was a central principle in most indigenous peoples and evident in what few we have left. This is further proof of what I claim in my book. Christianity’s point was to revert us back to the way we were when we were all indigenous at heart, before civilization taught us to compete.

And in true Subway fashion, could I get my Jesus wafer toasted? That’d be great, thanks.

Asshole’s Wager: What if you’re wrong about global warming?

2015-07-12T01:03:00.001-07:00

Asshole’s Wager: This is my parody version of the Pascal’s Wager. Whenever one declares they do not believe in Jesus, the Christian will always ask, “What if you’re wrong?” which is nothing more than an echoing of Pascal’s Wager, long debunked by reasoning people. I’ll get back to this.

Earlier today I met, I think, rightwing moron #29734938712 who couldn’t stop trying to tell me that global warming is just faith without evidence. It was in response to the fact that a friend on Twitter called out this one clown, who I’d blocked I don’t know how long ago for being an atheist-bashing troll, on the fact that he’s failed to ever deliver any evidence on the existence of his god. So rightwing moron #87342987343 said that we swallow global warming as faith.

And when pushed, the comment was simply that apparently NOAA admits having fudged numbers, and the temperature stopped rising for the past 15 years. You know, the same bullshit talking points that the deniers always try to use. BTW temperatures have not stopped rising, and NOAA did no such thing.

Keep in mind the same talking point against NOAA also comes from the same people who claimed NOAA and NASA declared carbon dioxide to be a cooling gas rather than a heating one. NASA and NOAA have never done this. That is a monstrous lie, made by people who have no idea what they’re talking about.

What strikes me though, is how quickly people want to jump on any tiny flaw they think that has been made by science. I don’t understand this, but that’s because I’m not a hateful sack of shit like they are. If you know that you’re polluting nature so badly that it’s disrupting the natural world, wouldn’t you move on the side of caution? Wouldn’t you rather be careful about not destroying things rather than destroy things until someone can prove to you that you are?

If climate science was a “faith” then let me propose the same question that believers of the Christian faith throw at you: What if you’re wrong? It’s a serious question. And it’s one that you don’t get to ignore if you’ve thrown Jesus at me in the same way. Especially since in this event you have way more at risk.

What if you’re wrong and you’re actually destroying the planet? What if you’re actually killing the living world that sustains you and has sustained your ancestors?

Now Pascal’s Wager expects me to abandon pleasure, altar my entire personality, change all of my actions, tithe a tenth of my income, and serve in attendance of a church, just in case there might be an angry deity that will send me to hell for all eternity. Just in case there is a hell. Just in case there is a god. Just in case that god actually is a hell-creating kind that likes to send people there for not believing. It expects a lot of out of me with zero evidence to its “case.”

Asshole’s Wager, as I’m calling it… since I am the @BibleAsshole after all… expects very little out of you. You don’t have to even stop attending church. It just asks you to not pollute and to care about the living world around you. And it doesn’t ask this without evidence. We have plenty.

Now if you think pollution doesn’t exist, you’ve got to be a huge moron. I don’t think any of you believers can be that big of a moron. You know there’s pollution. You also must knowthe acidity of the oceans is rising, causing a great deal of species to become close to extinction. But you want to not care. You hear about pollution and you’d rather pretend it doesn’t happen just out of doubt that it might not be real, rather than being careful just in case it is.

This seems remarkably selfish. After all, not caring about god, if your wager is correct, only hurts me. But not caring about the environment, if we’re correct (and we are), hurts everybody. All who are alive right now. All who will live after you. If you’re wrong (and you are) you are going to destroy a great deal of the beauty you think your god created. That’s insane.

Why are you so quick to jump on any tiny bit of a chance, thrown at you by your preferred media, that there might not be global harm caused by man’s pollution? I’ll give you the NOAA claim above as an example. The only thing I was even able to find that NOAA’s “admitted” numbers change gave, was that 2014 maybe wasn’t the hottest year on record. Now with so much evidence that it has been, why is this tiny possible glitch (not even a confirmed one) suddenly a reason to abandon all care and reason? You wouldn’t suddenly throw Christianity entirely out of the window if someone showed you a contradiction in the Bible (and there are many) would you?

It’s like you’re fast to not care and destroy, and slow to maybe care and not destroy. That’s really bizarre priorities.

Oh okay, let’s say that temperatures haven’t risen in 15 years, as is the incorrect claim. Let’s say there was a pause in warming (which there wasn’t). Does a slow-down in rising temperatures mean that all of our harm has been erased? Does that mean it’s cooling? No. Does that mean abandon all measures that man has made that might’ve brought the warming to a halt? Only if you’re fucking nuts!

No, wait, I’m trying to be reasonable. What I meant was, no. You wouldn’t do that. Right?

In fact the “pause” is nothing more than the media clearly not understanding science:

Many popular climate myths share the trait of vagueness. For example, consider the argument that climate has changed naturally in the past. Well of course it has, but what does that tell us? It’s akin to telling a fire investigator that fires have always happened naturally in the past. That would doubtless earn you a puzzled look from the investigator. Is the implication that because they have occurred naturally in the past, humans can’t cause fires or climate change?

The same problem applies to the ‘pause’ (or ‘hiatus’ or better yet, ‘speed bump‘) assertion. It’s true that the warming of average global surface temperatures has slowed over the past 15 years, but what does that mean? One key piece of information that’s usually omitted when discussing this subject is that the overall warming of the entire climate system has continued rapidly over the past 15 years, even faster than the 15 years before that.

The speed bump only applies to surface temperatures, which only represent about 2 percent of the overall warming of the global climate. Can you make out the tiny purple segment at the bottom of the above figure? That’s the only part of the climatefor which the warming has ‘paused’. As the IPCC figure indicates, over 90 percent of global warming goes into heating the oceans, and it continues at a rapid pace,equivalent to 4 Hiroshima atomic bomb detonations per second.

In other words, they’re making a giant doubt-mountain out of a hallucinated mole-hill of inaccuracy. It’s not actually even there. They hallucinated it! But they’re acting like everything is entirely debunked! That’s bad waging. Asshole’s Wager asks you, what if you’re wrong? What if even one mistake in a number by a scientist is nothing more than a tiny flaw in a completely correct body of evidence? You’re putting a lot at risk for a tiny thing!

But then, you’re quick to be apathetic about the rest of the world. And yet expect me to be quick to assume your god is correct and I might go to hell for it. If you can’t even respect the planet that has absolutely, positively sustained you and given you life, you’re a horribleambassador of this god of yours. And I won’t be wanting to follow him and become twice the son of hell as you are.

You see how that works? Of course not. If you confuse science with faith, you’re not going to see anything.

Facebook vs. the LGBT Community: Why aren't allies leaving Facebook?

2015-07-08T21:17:00.000-07:00

This is a remarkable kid. He courageously went to social media and bared his fears and emotions for all to see, in a special appeal for comments and acceptance:

"I'm homosexual and I'm afraid about what my future will be and that people won't like me."

A photo posted by Humans of New York (@humansofny) on Jul 3, 2015 at 10:18am PDT

This kid's tears were shared far and wide all over the internet, with tens of thousands of people encouraging him. And some wonderful voices were included:

Now, Facebook's "Real Name" policy is, they say, a way of protecting Facebook's users against abuse. Yet it repeatedly fails to take any action against things that clearly are disgusting. Like this:

Facebook called it "infant yoga" and claimed it did not violate rules. It routinely allows for postings of things that justifies or even calls for abuse against women or LGBT people, and allows it to remain.

And yet you know what Facebook DID delete? The child above who was pleading for acceptance as a homosexual boy. No, I'm not kidding. Mark Shrayber of the Humans of New York reposted it, which is when it went on to find comment from Hillary and Ellen.

Now, after SCOTUS announced Marriage Equality was the law of the land, Facebook gave you a tool to make rainbow icons, and they donated a tiny amount from their billions to the San Francisco Pride board, so that they could advertise... I mean, march on Pride. But their policies still target and harm drag queens, transgendered, people avoiding abusers (many of which exist in the LGBT community) who need to use a pseudonym, and so many more. The Pride Board divided about this issue, and much protest was made, that a company actively harming LGBT people should not be allowed to advertise... I mean, march on Gay Pride. But one vote more won them the right to.

The usual insistence is that you don't have to use Facebook. But people have given Facebook a power over the internet that, if you don't use it, you are almost alone and missing out on everything on the internet. Plus many companies insist their employees have an account with Facebook, but they cannot have a separate account with a different name to keep private and business lives separate because Facebook will not let them. It's against their policies to have multiple accounts, or to not use your real name. So not using it is banishment from today's community, in actual reality. Facebook has power. Face it. And they're abusing it. Other countries have decided that their policy is illegal. Germany ordered them to change the policy. Why hasn't America? Why are we tolerating this?

Google+ could have been a contender against Facebook, but the usual issue happened. Everyone's on Facebook because everybody's on Facebook, so nobody wanted to go over to Google+ because nobody's over there. So nobody moved and everybody continues to give Facebook this power. For no logical reason other than you just can't get people to move because nobody is moving. It's ludicrous but it's humanity for you.

Facebook continues to pretend this is for your safety, yet has never once given any evidence this policy has protected anybody, while tons of evidence is shown to them that it doesn't. It guarantees that abusers will find you. They even lie by saying their policy isn't a "Real Name" policy and never has been one, yet... that apology not only was a lie, but it lied IN the apology:

Protests continue, and the LGBT community is not amused. yet nobody is leaving Facebook and going to Google+ where the policy isn't anti-LGBT. And I do not understand why not. I am asking this question. I want real answers. I want people to really give it a shot and I want a real conversation about this instead of it being blown over and ignored.

Facebook has admitted to experimenting with its users before, in ways that it knew to be harmful. It doesn't care about abuse suffered by its users. It has repeated allowed for abuse to go unpunished while, instead, punishing the one reporting it. Klan members are able to harass people just fine, but people trying to take down their sites are deleted:

The person who wrote this post in the #MyNameIs page is asking a very valid question. Why aren't you leaving? Why aren't you telling Facebook their management is entirely unacceptable?

If you are the ally of LGBT people, why are you still giving Facebook this kind of power? Why are you still there? Why wouldn't you even consider for a second to stop using it and give Google+ a chance instead? Because all they care about is the profits they make by selling your information to corporations. And if they think they won't get anything because we're leaving, maybe they'll think twice about this policy. Google is making it just fine without that policy. Why does Facebook absolutely have to have our names?

I have shared this image. I ask you share it as well. Start this conversation. Help take power away from Facebook. They will never change if they know they have us no matter what. We have to show we're a real threat before they change.

OMG COMET!!!!!! So come to Jesus and buy my book and don't believe NASA or something.

2015-07-07T20:54:00.000-07:00

Yeah, the religious nutcases are out to scare you again with another doomsday. And yet, it’s not only NOT confirmed, but completely debunked by NASA.

Not that you’d need it, considering the source. And all the shit also said by the people warning you about it.

Alex Jones........ and that’s really all that needs to be said. Well, I’ll say a touch more. If you follow that link you’ll find that Alex Jones’ InfoWatch thinks saying they’ve no reason to expect a comet crashing into earth during that time is a “bold statement” they should avoid making. Figure that logic out if you want to. I’d rather just laugh. Don’t forget...

He thinks his bogus health product makes you grow more chest hair (and not just a change of lighting which is obviously what happened there.

Hilariously he claims NASA is denying it, but his link for their denial only takes you to the same lunatic site that his other links in that article take you to. And that article is: This site... the Express.co.uk

Which tells you that Operation Jade Helm was actually a program preparing the soldiers to fight during comet collision. I don’t have a fucking clue how soldiers are supposed to fight a comet. You figure it out. Again, I’m avoiding the crazy.

The actual source of it all: Lyn Leahz. This is her video:

She reminds me of the old Marilyn J. Agee. Her site screams about the Rapture, but she’s not used it in a while. Just like Agee’s, whose many failed attempts at predicting the rapture have left her a quivering mess of stupid.

The full description from the video should tell you everything:

Lyn Leahz shares about a phone call with her friend who was given inside information about a comet expected to hit the earth between September 15-28, 2015. Almost a year ago, the foreign minister of France three times publicly announced at a White House press conference a 500-day countdown to "climate chaos", which will end on September 24, 2015. They know what is coming and have already told you - chaos will erupt on this planet in September 2015. Are you listening? Are you prepared?

Please read and download my free book, "The Rapture Puzzle: Putting the Scriptural Pieces together - Day of Atonement 2015 (September 23/24, 2015) Judgment Day"
http://jesusiscoming2016.webs.com/The... and share this with everyone you can before it is too late.

You can also listen to me read the book by clicking on this link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjG7R...

Also, please visit my website:
http://jesusiscoming2016.webs.com/whe...

The Illuminati know what is coming September 22-28, 2015 (parts 1-4)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCoGD...

Come to Jesus - the Door is still open (September 23/24, 2015)
https://youtu.be/VSO_XIe3Nn0

How to prepare for what is coming in September 2015
https://youtu.be/y_n5pZ2KcjY

SEPTEMBER 2015: When the Year of lucifer COLLIDES with the Year of Jubilee (5776)
https://youtu.be/exH_wHV19CM

An asteroid or meteor will hit the earth on September 24, 2015 - you have been warned!!!
http://youtu.be/1g0GaGGqzkI

About that day and hour no one knows
http://youtu.be/H7FmFiqMcR0

Yeah. Someone she knows said someone called her with inside info, and prepare for Jesus and stuff.

Yeah.

I won’t be worrying about this comet.

You probably shouldn't either.

You

Boehner accuses Reid of shutting government and calling vets pay a ‘waste of time’

2015-06-24T16:48:00.001-07:00

No, I’m not kidding.

Actual e-mail sent out by Cheeto-Dick:

What does Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) think of bipartisan legislation – approved by the Senate Armed Services Committee by a vote of 22-4 – to support our troops and strengthen our national security? He says it’s “a waste of time.”

Really? First, President Obama threatened to veto the House defense authorization bill supporting our troops unless we increase funding for agencies like the IRS and EPA. Then a large majority of House Democrats voted against the troops bill for the same reason – to try and extract more non-defense spending. And now, the Senate Minority Leader says considering the bipartisan defense authorization bill is “a waste of time.” If that’s the case, a few questions are in order:

Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to support a pay raise for our troops?

Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to fully fund our national defense at the exact level the president requested?

Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to keep terrorist detainees out of the United States?

Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to reinforce the mission to defeat ISIL?

Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to stand up to Putin and provide lethal aid to our ally Ukraine?

Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to strengthen our cyber defenses?

Do Democrats believe it’s “a waste of time” to increase our missile defense capabilities?

One of the people’s highest priorities is making sure our troops have what they need to get the job done. That’s why House Republicans have passed a strong national defense bill.

Democrats may believe it’s a “waste of time” to support our troops in harm’s way. They may believe that it’s OK to use our troops as pawns to try and extract more spending for the IRS or EPA, but the American people don’t. Instead of making a political statement, President Obama and his party should put politics aside and support a strong defense bill worthy of our men and women in uniform. Supporting our troops and their families isn’t a “waste of time.”

- See more at: http://www.speaker.gov/general/senator-reid-supporting-troops-bill-waste-time?Source=GovD#sthash.kPQUoAWm.dpuf

Now for the reality:

There isn’t a sane fucking person in the world who thinks it’s Democrats that have been causing government shut-downs, when Republicans have repeatedly admitted it to be their own tactic, and a bad one… that they’re happy as hell to repeat!

Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN): “To try to change a law that was central to the president’s agenda was not something that was achievable” [Fox News Sunday, 10/13]

Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-NH): “Well, I believe the defunding strategy was a failing strategy from the beginning. It’s not something that I supported. … I think it’s time for conservative problem solvers to move forward, to govern the nation, to get things done. That’s what Ronald Reagan did. And I think that’s what we need to do as a party.” [CBS’s Face the Nation, 10/13]

But what Harry Reid called a “waste of time” is NOT paying vets. It’s the 21-hour speech of Ted Cruz. The actual quote:

"With all due respect, I’m not sure we learned anything new,” Reid said after Cruz’s speech ended. “It’s been interesting, but it has also been a big waste of time.”

Republicans are the ones calling veterans bills too expensive, and for killing veterans bills, and Obama has had to veto bills to protect them from Republicans’ slashing!

Does Boehner really think these blatant lies work for him?

Because I’m going to damned well make sure they don’t.

Operation: No More Mr. Nice Liberal

2015-06-20T00:20:00.001-07:00

Immediately Brian Fischer has said the exact fucking thing you knew some bullshit sonofabitch would say. There needed to be guns in that church.
I know FoxNews keeps forgetting to tell you this, but it was A BLACK CHURCH. I guess he forgot what happens when a black man has merely a toy gun:

No, Brian, having a gun in church IS an attack on Christianity. That fucking book said, in case you don’t remember, that Christianity was about “beating swords into plowshares” and not fighting. It takes zero faith to have a gun and shoot your enemy. It takes faith to invite a white man into your black church because you’re all inclusive, and being killed for it.
DON’T FUCKING TELL ME ABOUT GUNS. Beside, didn’t you hear? Fox has already declared it TOO SOON to talk about guns in the wake of Charleston, and damn you Obama for even doing it.
How interesting? I’m guessing those talking about gun control are “politicizing” this, but FoxNews is not? Except no. Fox is, and gun control people are trying to prevent the next tragedy, not trying to politicize this one. Get it right.
You want to see change? You want to see gun control finally being discussed? Here’s what you do.
Blacks, get together, get all the guns you can, and get thee to the nearest KKK meeting. Open fire and kill as many fucking bigots you can. Call it Operation: No More Mr. Nice Nigger.
Gays, get all the guns you can. Get thee to Westboro and anti-gay organizations, and open fire on the bigots. Call it Operation: No More Mr. Nice Faggot.
Muslims, get all the guns you can. Get thee to the churches that just waved guns in front of your mosque, and don’t even use them. Just hold them up and call it Operation: No More Mr. Nice Towelhead.
Show them the very thing they fear most. They have never meant guns for all as a human right. They’ve only ever meant guns for all white people. Show them guns can get into your hands and be used against them.
See how quickly we get some fucking gun control in this fucking country.
Please don’t actually do this. All I’m saying is that this is the only thing that would bring actual change, because the only thing these pieces of shit ever do is out of hate, and that’s the only way they’d ever make change. Out of hate. Out of feeling they are the victims.
Look how much they avoid saying ‘black’ in talking about Charleston. No, it’s the Christians who are the victims, despite the shooter saying he was there to shoot black people. Look how quickly gun owners are the victim, and not the black people who didn’t own guns and were actually killed. Look how quickly white gun-waving fuckers in Phoenix pretended to be the victims while standing outside of a mosque and actually hurting the 1st Amendment religious rights of Islam.
Don’t give me that shit. You are not the victim. You keep saying you want to take the country back. Back from whom? You’re the ones making all the hate happen. You’re in control. You’re the privileged. When blacks have a gun (or don’t even have one) they’re “thugs” and when a Muslim does something he’s a “terrorist” but when a white fucker has a gun and actually kills people? We have to focus on “mental illness.” Awww. And he’s taken alive. PRIVILEGE, BITCH.
Stop crying about how gun control only takes guns from the law abiding, when that’s not true at all. I notice you have no ideas. You just keep dismissing all other ideas as just taking guns from law abiding people. That’s not what’s proposed. That’s just your stupid ass dismissal of all actual ideas.
If you would stop making gun owners the victims, you need to become the victims. Notice you’re never the ones shot. You’re just the ones crying because we’re coming for your guns (although we never do). Quit your crying.
You’re the ones we need to take the country back from, assholes.

Monkeycocks: and I am a proud fucking nerd

2015-06-09T11:56:00.001-07:00

So we’re leaving the theater yesterday... and by the way, treat yourself to Spy because it is fucking worth it. And I see this poster of a typical muscle guy and the poster above read MMXXL.

Now to be fair, I didn’t know about the XXL part. Probably because I didn’t care. All I know is that I’m sitting there doing the math in my head and thinking, why would someone write 2,030 in that way? Shouldn’t it just be MMIII?

Oh. Okay. So today I just saw the advertisement on during Bones.

Magic Mike XXL. Gotcha. Yeah.

Because we have that. And we have Entourage. Hey women, how about we do a movie about smart men sometime? Men who make a difference in the world? Men AND women who are reshaping the way we see the world?

Ernest Cline gets it:

(Click here if the embed doesn’t work)

I wish more thought this way. The brain needs to be seen as sexy too. We need to evolve. We pay billions to muscly guys just to watch them move a ball, while ignoring what the schools are actually there for. We beat on the smart guys and then live in the luxuries of the advancements of science that they give to us, never thanking them. We shower attention on that which gives us zero progress and zero lasting worth.

In short, we’re fucking peacocks.

People assume evolution works as constant improvement, but that’s bullshit. It often works quite illogically. While sometimes it works in a random reassortment of traits within a new population of the species (genetic drift), or it works through the well-known passing on of the strongest specimen in a competition (survival of the fittest), it also often works through a method scientists like to jokingly call ladies’ choice.

And in peacocks, there’s no logic at all. Peacocks fuck with the most colorful male that catches their eye, even though there’s zero survival value in those colors.

That’s what we do. We’re causing the Idiocracy because we’re aroused by muscles that won’t even be passed on to the offspring. What is more likely to be passed on to them is that your muscly father you’ve chosen for your mating is too fucking vain to care about you or your kids, and will run off with some younger model when things get rough.

Intelligence can be passed on, however. And the intelligent man will more likely care for you and value your children, not just as potential atheletes, teaching them to value themselves based on how physically attractive they are, but also how well they can move that fucking ball from the 30 yard line to the end zone... but to value knowledge and wisdom, and their imagination and its potential to bring amazing change.

I say we’re peacocks. Ernest Cline says we’re monkeys:

We're Monkeycocks.

And we’re seriously leading ourselves to the stupidest possible outcome of our species when we could be moving to amazing potential. But hey, at least you got a couple of touchdowns and had some disappointing orgasms with people who pretended you didn’t exist afterward. Good on you.

The link between the term “Christian” and the Greek practice of...

2015-06-04T13:41:00.001-07:00

The link between the term “Christian” and the Greek practice of BUTTSEX

Meet Irony courageously head on, if you dare

2015-06-04T11:48:00.001-07:00

Nothing good is going to cum of this (no typo)

2015-03-03T11:58:00.001-08:00

A vagina-scope. A pussycam. A Twat-pro. Whatever you wanna call it, everything about it is just wrong as wrong can be. And yet why do I feel like it's going to be involved in a healthcare plan for women if Republicans have their way with the ACA?

And I don't even wanna know what's going to start happening on video shows like Tosh.0 or Right This Minute. I just know that this needs to be kept away from gay men by any means necessary.

The 'sex selfie stick' lets you FaceTime the inside of a vagina - Weird News - News - The Independent

Edwin Lyngar goes all Taylor Swift on Ron Paul

2015-03-03T01:48:00.001-08:00

Edwin Lyngar, Salon contributor from Reno, talks about his bad breakup with Libertarianism after a trip to Honduras where he got to see those ideals in practice: My libertarian vacation nightmare: How Ayn Rand, Ron Paul & their groupies were all debunked - Salon.com

I find it amusing that he comes right out and says it, even admitting he fell into the same trap:

"In America, libertarian ideas are attractive to mostly young, white men with high ideals and no life experience that live off of the previous generation’s investments and sacrifice. I know this because as a young, white idiot, I subscribed to this system of discredited ideas: Selfishness is good, government is bad. Take what you want, when you want and however you can. Poor people deserve what they get, and the smartest, hardworking people always win. So get yours before someone else does."

I agree. Just about every libertarian I know personally or have dealt with online is a gun weilding person insisting that I owe my freedom to the fact they have one, insisting that they're such a humanitarian and I should be thanking them for their selflessness. As though they personally have wrestled enemies who are coming for my freedumbz and taken them out of the hands of the Hamburglars and returned them to me with a, "Just doin' mah job, sir." And yet they're all wobbly as I am and look like the last thing they wrestled was a triple cheeseburger.

Look, you're not that guy from 24. That guy from 24 isn't even that guy from 24. He's a Republican douchebag who acts, says lines, and bitches little people out if they don't bring him his latte in a timely manner.

And yes. They're all white guys. All of them. One was a woman long ago who I called a sister until the day I wouldn't go along with the lie about our president being a Muslim man, nor her bigoted insistence that all Muslims want her head on a stick. I watched her descend into a feral thumb-sucker as the rest of the south horded guns and prepared for secession.

All of them also join in the McCarthyist conga line as they make fun of liberals. Usually it's because liberals assume they're Republicans, and isn't that just so last century! Except that's all they really are. Republicans. Of last century. Now pretending to be ashamed of the name yet saying all the same shit. Oh, except they're okay with gays now, so shouldn't I just be all ashamed of myself for confusing them or something. (They all try this tactic as though it somehow discredits you instead of them.)

What should scare you about Libertardianism is how much Lyngar describes it, and it sounds like everything going wrong in this country right now, in these selected gems from the article:

...the police ride around in pickup trucks with machine guns, but they aren’t there to protect most people... You can see the evidence of previous decades of infrastructure investment in roads and bridges, but it’s all in slow-motion decay... Welcome to an Ayn Rand’s libertarian paradise, where your extra-large pepperoni pizza must also have an armed guard... The closer you get to totally untamed, uncontrolled privatization, the nearer you approach “Lord of the Flies.”

Lyngar makes a point that I find most ironic. You see, when gun-wavers talk to me, they insist to me that I just don't get it because I've not been out there, meaning out of the country. Like they have. Where there are none of them freedumbz. So it's hilarious that Lyngnar says:

Part of the reason this discredited, libertarian bullshit still carries any weight for Americans is because so few of us travel. Only 30 percent of Americans have passports, and if Americans do go places, it’s not often to Honduras. On the mainland of Honduras, we saw no more than a handful of Americans... It has nonstop flights from the U.S. directly to the island so you can skip all the needless reality.

I guess if you've only gone to war, or you've only gone somewhere with the mindset that everything else must be horrible, you probably are going to see nothing but horrors outside of this country's borders. But you can't tell me that the rest of the world is horrible because they don't haz the guns and you do. If anything so many places are horrible because they don't have regulations that bring freedom to all rather than just to a strong few who then deny it to everyone else, as happens in Libertarianism.

So as I made this graphic a couple nights ago, I shall share it one more time for all the Libertarians who think that I'm the fool for assuming that you're Republican, even though we all damn well know ya are, Blanche... ya are...

Yeah. I'm the one who feels silly. Sure.

To serve and protect..... rapists?

2015-03-02T15:37:00.001-08:00

Police Wouldn’t Stop Abuse and Rape of 300 Children Despite Receiving Multiple Reports For Six Years | Filming Cops

So apparently the police now "serve and protect" child rapists? When child abusers are put into prison it's known as a death sentence, as criminals in prison notoriously have no tolerance for such a thing. What about prisoners when they face cops known to protect the rapists? And who wants to find out with me?

Filming Cops reports:

We are forced to pay them money from our hard-earned paychecks, and in exchange they’re supposed to protect us.

But here’s what they really do with our money — they use it for:

-Buying high-tech militarized equipment to play with (such as MRAP tanks and assault rifles)
-Writing us tickets and fining us for victimless activities like possessing an herb.
-Harassing us at unconstitutional checkpoints.
-Spying on us without warrants via the use of Federal fusion centers.

And so on.

Meanwhile, real violent crimes are being committed and the police are mostly nowhere to be found.

In the most recent case, as many as 700 children may have been abused and raped, or are currently at risk of such, but the police “failed to stop it” according to reports.

An investigation into the failure of police to stop the abuse — and in some cases, violent sexual torture — of hundreds of young girls has concluded that there are at least 300 victims.

Multiple complaints were filed with the police in hopes that the girls would be saved, but the police apparently had more important things to do.

Most of the children were in a “care” facility where they were being abused, sometimes sexually, by adult men.

The abuse continued over the course of 15 years during which police altogether failed to take action on any of the reports.

The Guardian reported a particularly gruesome case of a 12-yr-old girl who was repeatedly violently raped.

The child described what happened to her as “torture sex,” suggesting that sadistic pain infliction may have been involved.

Eventually the child became pregnant, and was then forced to have an abortion on the streets.

Her body was sexually tortured for at least six years, according to reports.

There were numerous instances where police could have acted on the complaints to prevent further abuse, but they did not do so, allowing it to continue uninterrupted, according to reports.

In another case, as many as half a dozen young girls between the ages of 11 and 15 were literally enslaved and violently abused.

Given that they had so many opportunities to stop the abuse that was brought to their attention and they allowed it to continue, many wonder if the police themselves were in on it.

Some suspect that the police may have been getting paid by the abusers to “look the other way” or perhaps police were participating in the abuse.

At least seven men have been convicted as of May 2013, but there are many more at large and they may never be found.

In either case, the abuse could have been stopped long ago, but was not.

Apparently police were too busy issuing tickets to people on their way to work, arresting people for carrying a harmless plant, and meeting other dubious quotas.

Girls had gone missing over and over again in multiple cities, and many of the children might still be enslaved as the scandal is just now unfolding.

Kanye leaving the US because of racism

2015-03-02T13:55:00.001-08:00

Kanye leaving the US because of racism

Okay, before you all go LOL about how ludicrous he is, he's actually not wrong about this country being incredibly racist. From its first inception by slave-owners, to its declaration of independence mostly because England was ending slavery and they didn't want to (and you thought it was about taxes? Even Libertarians admit it wasn't), to its genocide of those inconvenient red people who didn't live the one right way, we've been horrendous about race.

But Kanye, you're hardly the first to notice this. In fact I'm gonna let you finish, but Beyonce did a better job of talking about facing racism and standing against it than you did. She has a history from her family's marching with Dr. King, to their attendance at a previously all-white school. So Kanye, how does it feel to have Beyonce thrown in YOUR face?

But agreed, the incident is serious shit. Can't believe I'm going to say this, but I feel for Kim. The verbal attack of "nigger lover" is but one of a thousand bullshit things happening lately that just shows racism is not going anywhere and is on a bold new rise. From the way the haters responded to a president with too much melanin, to the constant reports of police brutality, I don't think anybody can truthfully say they don't find it absurd as hell that SCOTUS decided racism didn't exist anymore enough to justify the guarantee of equal voting rights for all.

And I too constantly keep wanting to get out of this country. But one of my major reasons is because of how this country is constantly giving people fame and recognition when they don't deserve it all. You know, like Kanye and the Kardashians.

That's putting it mildly.

2015-03-02T00:43:00.001-08:00

Dear Typical Bigot in a Judge’s Robe…

2015-02-10T19:44:00.001-08:00

As Huffington Post points out, Alabama Probate John Enslen thinks that not only his personal religious beliefs supersede federal law and the rights of United States citizens who fairly win their court cases, but they also mandate that he should get away with the dereliction of his sworn duty on the taxpayer's dime, even if some of those taxpayers are the people whose rights he is deliberately ignoring. He writes:

"I will never perform a so-called same-sex marriage. A federal court can put me in jail for life, and I will still never perform a so-called same-sex marriage. As a believer in the Word of God... I cannot, in good conscience, participate in a purported marriage ceremony, which I strongly believe would profane the sacred institution of marriage. This is not about hating people. Each of us needs to treat every other human being with dignity and respect, regardless of our diametrically opposing viewpoints on this divisive issue. But tolerance is a two-way street. Either there is tolerance for all, or there is tolerance for none. I want tolerance for my personal religious viewpoint."

Well, Judge Enslen (I'd say your honor, but you clearly have none and you refuse to honor me) I would not want you to perform my wedding (you perform weddings, not marriages, unless you're one of the two getting married). Why? Because I prefer to have someone with honor to do that wedding for me based on honor, and there is no honor in your so-called religion of a so-called loving god. See, I can belittle you with that term, "so-called" too!

It is not your "good conscience" (you may have one, but it is way too faulty to be called 'good') that tells you not to do so. It's your hate. It does not profane the institution of marriage in any actual way other than in your beliefs, and your beliefs are not something I'm forcefully held to. You profane my religion, after all, and that is a religion not to hate people irrationally. And you may say it's not about hating people. It is entirely about hating people. So basically you threw a lie in there, which last I checked, you weren't supposed to do that either. And that's based on not just that archaic Bible book, but also the law you say you're supposed to uphold. Well, if you were under oath anyway. I guess you weren't at that point when you said that. So technically you're totally allowed to be a lying bigot all you want in your free life.

And that's what I wanted to tell you. Nobody will arrest you for being a lying bigot. That's never been an arrestable offense. We used to be arrested for being gay. This is why your attempt to make you the victim in this situation is laughable. But it's never stopped bigots before. They always pretend that they're' the victim when they're not even being arrested or punished for being a bigot.

But you will be arrested or punished for breaking the law, and the law of this land does not allow you to force your religious values onto me. You are not obligated to perform a wedding for me. But if you deny me my rightful marriage rights which are equal in this country in most states and should've always been in a country of church/state separation, that will happen to you. You will bitch and whine and moan about how you're the victim then too, but you will be the perpetrator. Not the victim. And it will be because of your hate. Yes. It is absolutely hate. That is not debatable.

Tolerance can only be a two-way street if you stop being dishonest with yourself about what it actually is. If I were to refuse to perform a wedding ceremony for you because you're Christian and I'm not, then you can say intolerance is a two-way street. But right now, intolerance is a one-way street. You have never, and will never, suffer for your hate for us, nor bullied for your dislike and belief against us. We have, however, been constantly abused for being gay by the likes of you, and since people like you teach your kids the same hate, no matter how much you try to disguise it as civil and justified, they will no doubt continue to bully and abuse other gay kids.

You are intolerant to us. You have no idea what it means to be the recipient of actual, painful intolerance, and therefore, have no clout on the subject whatsoever. And what's most ironic about this one-sided intolerance street is that you’re the one that’s actually intolerable. And yet we do tolerate you. Imagine that. And if we can do that for you, that leaves you without excuse.

-- A gay citizen whose taxes pay your salary

When Conservatives think they’re being funny

2014-12-02T01:00:00.001-08:00

And you have to remind them that untrue, ancient stereotypes about liberals aren’t really funny because humor has to have an element of truth. Like Amy here…

Complete, of course, with tired old McCarthyist accusations of Communism, because apparently that never gets old or anything. Well, I can do it too!

And in a follow up tweet, I show her how wrong her mindlessly retweeted meme was using Twitlonger:

"What difference AT THIS POINT does it make?" she actually said.

Your 'quote' is wrong, as usual for a conservative. Because you people are always fucking wrong.

The quote is, "What difference at this point does it make?" and it was what she said when she was asked why they gave the "lie" of an answer of it being a YouTube video to which the rioters at Benghazi were responding.

Because you idiots were calling that the biggest worst lie ever told, which is just bullshit. There were other riots at that time confirmed to have been reactions to that video. So it's hardly a stretch or a big giant lie. To say that is outrageous hyperbole.

At that moment when that was asked why they rioted, and she gave that answer as the most likely cause, what was most important at that moment was dealing with the crisis http://tinyurl.com/cg93on8 rather than sitting around coming up with an answer as to why these irrational people were doing what they were doing.

So in the inquisition, she asked what difference AT THAT POINT does it make? What difference if it was a YouTube video or a rave or a flash mob, does it make? What mattered was that four people were killed. She is NOT saying what difference does it make THAT people were killed, and that's what you're implying. And you're wrong. As usual, you fucking conservatards are completely, utterly, absolutely wrong.

By the way, they were caught and confirmed that it was the YouTube video. So it wasn't even a lie. But don't let that stop you from blabbing your ridiculous, already well proven wrong talking point bullshit.http://tinyurl.com/pw2klf7

Oh, and let's not forget Benghazi that thing in which absolutely NO WRONGDOING whatsoever by the White House was found by any investigation ever. http://tinyurl.com/lskd3cp <---rightwing source unhappily admitting it.

Not that you'd know it since Fox spewed lots of accusations, but never reported the finding:http://tinyurl.com/k4bflcn

Congrats on just being another rightwing idiot who, as I said, is completely, utterly, absolutely WRONG.

Fingered by Jesus

2014-11-29T14:30:00.001-08:00

This comes from LOLGIFS.net on Tumblr, and totally belongs here… but as GIFs, it really was awkward to read it, so I turned it into a series of stills. Enjoy!

The Cheetoh-Boner wants you to use his recipe

2014-11-27T13:57:00.001-08:00

I don’t know how I came to be on his mailing list, but I am, and I get his e-mails. Usually they’re all blame-Obama, waaahhhh they’re obstructing Republicans, and reports that are entirely 180°from the truth. But today he wants to teach you how to brine a turkey. I don’t know why. But if there’s anybody who’s been having lots of experience these past few years in handling turkeys, it’s Boner. Problem is, he sucks at it, since he hasn’t been able to get those Republicans (that’s who I meant) to stop being assholes. So by all means, try this recipe and see if he’s any better at this. If so, we can finally say he’s not an entire waste.

Oh, and happy Indian Massacre Appreciation Day! (Since that’s what the first Thanksgiving was them being thankful for… no, I’m not kidding. Although saying so is no doube a war on Thanksigiving, right Fox? But don’t think they haven’t survived and thrived despite us. They have, even though violence against them continues.

Ah well, enough of those facts that’ll just be dismissed carelessly as white guilt. Enjoy your turkeys and more of that gluttonous behavior that makes us the America that we are!

November 25, 2014

What’s not to love about Thanksgiving? It’s a time to gather together, catch up with our loved ones, and of course, try to impress them with our cooking skills.

If, like me, you’re responsible for the turkey, then you’ve probably got some special ingredient or some way you make it that you’ve perfected. For me, it’s brining the turkey. From my kitchen at home in West Chester, Ohi o, you can see exactly what I mean:

If you end up giving this a try, let me know how it goes

. As for side dishes, I’d recommend my grandmother’s creamed spinach

. You can’t beat it.
No matter what you make, or how you make it, Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours. This is the day our forefathers set aside to reflect on how blessed we are to live in this great nation under God. It's a beautiful thing.

John Boehner

The Boehner Brine

Ingredients:

8 quarts water
6 bay leaves
2 cups Kosher salt
3 tbsp peppercorns
1 head of garlic
16 oz pure maple syrup

Bring the brine close to a boil, then let it cool. Put a bag in a five-gallon bucket. Wash the turkey and remove the insides. Put the turkey in the bucket. Pour the brine over to cover the turkey. Keep the turkey submerged. Let it stand overnight in the refrigerator or outside if it is cool enough. After 24 hours, take it out and rinse it off. At that point, it’s ready to be cooked.

From ‘black friend’ to ‘fuck you’ in under 60 seconds

2014-11-21T11:01:00.001-08:00

Boehner went on a tear about how Obama is the self-appointed antichrist king emperor lordship of America because he dared actually do something about immigration or something. I replied to one of his tweets and ended up with yet another “independent” (aka Republican trying hard to look like he’s not just another Republican so as to score points about my “assumption” that the GOP talking point spewer is a Republican) tagging along. In other words, a completely predictable conversation pattern. After all:

Yes, a Christian Harry Potter. Let’s Tear it Apart!

2014-10-02T00:02:00.001-07:00

I love @Midnight so much, I injected myself into this excellent moment of its show. Why? Because how can one not want to be a part of Chris Hardwick’s world? I’m his number one fan, and I have the lotion, basket, and hose ready to go…

Science… Space… and Technology… not in good hands.

2014-09-25T18:59:00.001-07:00

So Jon Stewart rips to shreds the ridiculous claim that climate change is a well funded fraud. From “Global Wobbling” to the dumbest questions about projections, you will not feel confident in how science is seen in our government…

Jon credits Dr. John Holdren, an actual scientist with real knowledge, as having the scientific Sisyphean task of “pushing a million pounds of idiot up a mountain.” This entire segment is just…… head-poundingly angering. Enjoy!

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook,Daily Show Video Archive

OMG OBAMA’S GONNA KILL US ALL!!!

2014-09-23T01:52:00.001-07:00

Pretty much anything the president does means we’re all going to die, and everything’s going to suck forevermore, and Satan is going to win, as will the terrorists, because I mean, come on, you know, he’s like, just so, GAAAAHHHHH! At least according to the Right. If he chose Pepsi, he’s a traitor to the south where Coke is made, and if he chooses Coke, it’s just to distract you from Benghazi.

When a friend posted this horse shit, I finally thought it was time to just rip one of these to shreds. So here I am, heckling this absurd Western Journalism post that they got from WallStreetDaily.com, because why write your own shit, am I right? My comments of hecklage in red letters, as always…

Unbelievable: Obama Just Did Something That Could Endanger Over 250 Million Americans

Only in Obama’s White House would such foolishness be contemplated, much less ordered. After all, no foolishness ever occurred in any administration ever until this black guy came along. Especially not the previous administration. I know a lot of you think that it might have, but OMG LOOK, BENGHAZI!!!!!!!!!!
FLOYD BROWN — SEPTEMBER 18, 2014

Barack Obama doesn’t want to deploy the military to fight the Islamic State – something they’re actually trained to do. Let’s completely ignore that this isn’t an Islamic state, and let’s have absolutely no regard for the fact we should never have gone there in the first place, that we only went to Iraq because of lies, and those lies completely destroyed what was a stable country that once kept Islamic regimes at bay, until the previous administration (which has never done anything foolish at all!) invaded and destroyed all of that stability just to give Halliburton lots of profits. Because what really matters is shouting about how horrible everything the black guy does is the worst thing ever so that you’ll forget the previous administrations extreme stupidity.
Instead, he’s ordered 3,000 troops to enter western Africa to fight the deadly Ebola virus, which has an 80% mortality rate. Because Obama wants you all to get Ebola and die! How do I know this? Because I read it in something and I watch FoxNews, and they said some say it so… there you go.
It’s certainly another blemish on Obama’s report card. Just like everything else he’s ever done. Because we only see blemishes. Look, he’s blemishing right now! Look at how he’s breathing in oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide! THAT BASTARD!!!! And it acts as further proof that Obama always ignores the secondary consequences of his actions. Uh… yeah! What that means! I’ll be right back. I have to look up the word secondary. And consequences. But yeah, Wall Street Daily uses big words that my rightwing mind barely understands, so that must make it a good news source!
This time around, though, Obama may have volunteered America for a biological genocide… because fighting a disease is the same trying to make sure everyone on earth gets it! He should do what Reagan did and do absolutely nothing at all about diseases like HIV. That’s a real hero! That helped make sure nobody ever got AIDS at all!
Blindly Heading Down a Slippery Slope
Consider this: Right now, the Ebola virus is passed by bodily fluids. I know, right? Ewww! Bodily fluids are of the devil! Nobody should ever exchange fluids ever! So right there those with bodily fluids deserve to die, so sayeth the lord.
But, according to CNN, many of our nation’s top infectious disease experts are worried that this deadly virus could mutate. Now mutation is part of that wretched evil thing called evolutionary theory, but in this case we’re going to believe in it because it’ll help you be terrified of something that the black guy did. Once it mutates, it could be transmitted by a cough or a simple sneeze. So far this has only happened in every single Tom Clancy novel, so of course we’re terrified!
Dr. Michael Osterholm, Director of the Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy at the University of Minnesota, told CNN, and National Review, and The Blaze, and on Minnesota’s Public Radio where he’s throwing a Lindsey Graham level fiddle dee dee that it’s coming for Minnesota… no wait, I mean, where he was quite rational on the subject as opposed to what you saw on National Review, and CNN, and the Blaze, so make sure you only pay attention to the media sources that want you to be terrified… all others are liberal media liars! Fortunately we have a quote here so we can be one of those people: “It’s the single greatest concern I’ve ever had in my 40-year public health career… I can’t imagine anything in my career – and this includes HIV – that would be more devastating to the world than a respiratory transmissible Ebola virus.” And don’t forget, we also have a headline saying Obama’s going to kill 80% of America!!! So you know we’re not Satan’s nipple-tweeking buttboys like the liberal media is!!!
We’re sure as hell not going to talk to Dr. Daniel Bausch, who went on liberal liberal liberal NPR, who when asked if it were airborn, said, “No, I don't think airborne transmission is going on. From all the data we have from other outbreaks, and as best as we can surmise from this outbreak, people who get Ebola had direct contact with other people who had Ebola… I can't think of any example of mutations that have fundamentally changed the biology of a pathogen so it's transmitted through a different mechanism than would be its norm. I don't think there is true aerosol transmission, and I'm not worried about mutations conferring it.” NPR also said said, “Finding volunteers to go to West Africa will not be easy, he notes. But without such an effort, he stresses, the only scenario is the worst-case scenario.” Those liberal bastards!!!
As you can see, this already-dangerous situation could quickly escalate into a full-blown massacre in our country. And yet, thousands of soldiers are following Obama down a slippery slope into western Africa. And yes, we make a lot of slippery slope arguments on the Right, like the idea that gay marriage will have people fucking their toasters and marrying their goats, but this time we really mean it!!! And we really want you to think the black president’s going to kill us all!!!
Undoubtedly, the Ebola virus is deadly and needs to be confronted. But if Obama’s confronting it, then confrontation is just plain wrong because we have to say everything is wrong that he does. But it has to be confronted. But not by him. But if he doesn’t then he doesn’t care about you dying from Ebola! But he is! So he’s going to kill us all!!! And! And! And…. wait….. computer….. confused…. must be…. re-programmed….. does…… not…. computer…. error… ERROR!!! ………..ERROR!!!!!!!

Well, so much for Republicans not making the usual ass of themselves that they do, and instead, doing the good Christian thing of healing people. Nah, let’s make up shit and fear-monger people and blame everything on earth on the black guy. As usual.

Farcebook asks “businesses” about its policy. Why ask people? Because they don’t matter.

2014-09-21T22:43:00.001-07:00

The drag queen name policy of Facebook has come to its final conclusion. Facebook will be deleting all drag queen accounts and demanding “real names” of all its users in less than two weeks, and that’s their final answer.

So Facebook decided it wanted a poll to back up its decision, and that poll is to ask businesses. And that’s hysterical. Why not ask people? Oh yes, people don’t provide Facebook with profits. He doesn’t sell your private information to regular people to make his billions. He sells that to businesses. So he really can’t pretend that he cares about your protection at all.

Yeah, Facebook says that it’s to protect its users, but let us all remember that Google+ had the same debate and chose the opposite. Google decided it can’t protect you from people faking themselves online. Only you really can do that. But that name forcing can and does absolutely expose you online to people who you might want to avoid. And it’s absolutely true.

Telling you that you cannot have a separate account, and that you must use the one on your birth certificate, means a lot of negative things for you that are definite, but not one of them truly protects you. I will list you some reasons here:

To insist you use an ID to support your identity claim is faulty. I can get a fake ID and use it, so this doesn’t keep criminals off Facebook. Unless Facebook plans on going through databases of states, which is such a violation of privacy that it’s absolutely absurd.
To insist you can only have on account ties you absolutely to that one account and all that happens on it. You cannot do what everyone on the planet with any intelligence does, and that’s separate your business life from your personal life. Let’s not pretend that businesses search online media to research you when you file for a job. A proven fact. But they also do so when you already work for them. Many have already been fired from their jobs because of something they’ve posted on Facebook or Twitter.
Facebook pretends to be supportive of what are laughingly called “alternative genders,” by giving a list of 50 ways to answer the question of your gender. Here’s the problem. If it were truly supportive of the rights of gender queer individuals, these people would know that it’s still legal in 29 states to fire someone for being gay. In fact, it’s legal to do so in all states if you choose to target an individual because they’re gay, and push to find an alternative reason. So Facebook doesn’t give a shit about you at all.
The policy is also potentially racist. After all, what qualifies as a ‘real name?’ What if your name is something of a different language? Is it not a real name because it’s not Bob or Peter or Sarah or Michelle? The name I used, Ray RedSpider, was declared a fake name by them, and they made my middle name claim, Bear, into my last name without even asking me! And then they canned my account insisting that Ray Bear, which I never claimed, wasn’t my real name! No fucking shit, Shirlock! I TOLD YOU IT WASN’T!!! So if you’re not named something American/English culture calls a common name, you have to prove yourself? It also instead I couldn’t have a capital letter in the middle of my last name (RedSpider) because apparently no real last name has ever had such a thing. Just as any McDonald, or O’Reilly or St. Clair family member. Seriously, Facebook!!! You don’t realize your absolute moronic stance isn’t even remotely consistent or realistic???
One friend, who is of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, brought up a beautiful point about how insulting this is. Accordingly, being a drag queen and using her drag name (which she’s more known and famous by than her birth-certificate name, so it’s not like she’s hiding at all) apparently puts her under suspicion of Facebook for being a potential child molester or sexual offender. That’s absurd. If you plan on raping kids, the best way to do that, we all already know, is to become a priest! Not to call everyone’s attention to your gender identity that’s already considered ‘alternative.’ Everyone already knows that if you want to prey on kids, you do it by hiding as a normal, uninteresting individual, which is why you never hear of people raped by an overt, out and proud, already suspicion-showered drag queen! Try your local church and youth ministry.
Again, as it’s been pointed out time and again, many of us would rather never again be located by members of our families because they are abusive relationships. Facebook can’t effectively protect you from child molestation by canning drag queens, but it absolutely, positively DOES expose you to the people you’re trying to avoid by making you use that name online. Absolutely, guaranteed, 100% exposes you to your employer’s pryings. Absolutely, positively declares you untrustworthy for your alternative gender identity. This isn’t even debatable. The protection Facebook claims to be giving, however, is.

But then, all Facebook cares about is profits. Or it wouldn’t be asking businesses. And if businesses should overwhelmingly tell Facebook that it finds the policy absurd, then Facebook will change its policy, right? Well, we’ll see. Because that poll is OVERWHELMINGLY against the ‘real name’ policy!

(Results as of 10:20pm PT, Sept. 21, 2014)

So the answer now is, does Facebook care, or is it just out for profits from selling your personal information? Is it only interested in being a megalomaniacal business that runs your life? Will they refuse their godlike stance of owning your identity and demanding what you can or cannot be called? Ball’s in your court, Zuckerberger. I’ll be leaving Facebook by October 1st and leaving only my fan page for those who want to find me, unless you come to your senses. It clearly seems that nobody is on your side except for a tiny few. Have fun with 6% of your present base.

And say hey to Tom of MySpace for me. I haven’t talked to him in forever. Neither has anybody else.

I’m so lonely!

UPDATE: Someone posted this excellent picture that’s now going around on Facebook. I mean how much more do these idiots need to hear before they actually give this fucking thing thought?

I can make signs too, assholes

2014-09-18T16:03:00.001-07:00

The Katy, Texas, gun nut hut known as Tactical Firearms, who recently put out a sign suggesting beheading Obama’s family, is milking the living shit out of their fifteen minutes of famous stupidity on Facebook. Not one, not two, not three, not four, notfive, not six, not seven, not eight, not nine, but ten posts on their Facebook page (and one of those, #ten above, whining about how Facebook deleted their sign even though they didn’t, because they’re such victims of liberal conspiracies and stuff). It’s basically like they keep yelling, “HoooooWHEEEE!!! We’z on TV!!! Ya’ll lookit!!!” Yes, honey. We see it.

Fifteen minutes that they’d been using their sign to try to achieve for some time now, with shit like this delightful one about wanting Obama impeached rather than Perry indicted. (Sorry, but you still need a reason, like we have for indicting Perry).

And then, of course, when a few people responded how that was bullshit, they of course pull the Rightwing act of their 1st Amendment rights being violated (waaaahhhh) even though they weren’t, and then played the act of being all fucking noble and shit about how we only have the 1st Amendment because people like them (and nobody else on earth apparently) fought and died for that amendment. So you know, praise guns and shit. And ignore that the 1st is about government demanding you not speak rather than people sick of your shit and exercising their 1st Amendment rights to call you on your bullshit:

It should be mentioned that, like Dick Dynasty, they’re just trying to drum up publicity for their “reality show” that they were offered. Because you know, hate sells. Hate sells bigtime. It should also be mentioned that they expect liberals heads to explode because they brilliantly used the original term, “libtard.”

Which is even funnier because after that, it turns out liberals are the notorious name-callers apparently:

Oh and, don’t forget, the mandatory Obama-plays-golf joke that the Right keeps making but has NO room to make whatsoever:

And of course, 9/11 isn’t as bad as Benghazi since it didn’t happen under the black guy, I guess.

Not that they would know since the news that tells them what they want to hear, didn’t tell them jack shit about there being no wrongdoing found in the Benghazi investigation. Yeah. Typical rightwing assholes. And of course, what racism?

Well folks, I can make signs too. And you know something… mine makes far more fucking sense. Because Obama’s not responsible for anybody being beheaded, but guns and crazy gun-fuckers areresponsible for the carelessness with which guns are killing people across this country. So……

Yeah, you’ll get your show, I’m sure. But you know something, everyone will know you’re just rightwing whores selling your hate-fucking for money and fame, just like every other hate-fucker with a freakshow reality program on the air right now. That people only watch to laugh about.

Say hello to Mema for me. Oh, and try not to let your heads explode when you find out she likes Will & Grace. I’m sure that’ll probably make YOUR heads go ‘splodey. Let’s face it, you’re just Tactical Sign-spewers and nothing more. And your own followers keep calling you juvenile for doing nothing but saying bullshit signs. And that’s just delightful to me.