Biblical Counseling for Women

We Are MOVING MONDAY!

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Sat, 02 Jan 2016 23:48:00 +0000

Out with the old and in with the new! Isn't that what many of us do at the turn of the new year? Well, I am no different, and in addition to giving the heave-ho to a bunch of material stuff I don't need, I plan to lose about 10 pounds this year (because I don't need that either!).

That's on the personal end of life. On the ministry end, I wanted to remind you that on Monday the new blog format will debut! We are so excited to bring you the changes you will find on our new Wordpress blog. If you haven't checked it out yet, please go over to bc4women.org and subscribe to the blog at its new location. You can do so right under the countdown clock on the home page.

Today I want to give you some more details about the changes you will see in the coming days. I have invited several women to be regular contributors to the blog. This is different in that while I used to have guest bloggers, these ladies will be weekly contributors. You will be familiar with Suzanne Holland, who has been one of those previous guest bloggers. Suzanne is a certified counselor with both the IABC (International Association of Biblical Counselors) and the ACBC (Association of Certified Biblical Counselors). She serves with me at Reigning Grace Counseling Center in Kansas City, Missouri and is also the Online Training Program Coordinator. She is married to John, who administers the technical side of the Online Program. They have two adult sons and a recently emptied nest.

A series of events over the last few years has given her personal insight into how God uses pain for our growth and His glory, and she gets great joy from encouraging others on the blog. She is very excited to have the opportunity now to encourage even more readers at Biblical Counseling for Women, and I am excited to have her!

Marie Notcheva is an author and INS-certified (Institute of Nouthetic Studies) biblical counselor from Massachusetts. I met Marie while reviewing her first book, "Redeemed from the Pit: Biblical Repentance and Restoration from the Bondage of Eating Disorders" (Calvary Press, 2011).

Marie is the mother of four children as well as a Bulgarian courtroom and medical interpreter in the Boston area by profession, and she likes to study Albanian on the side. She is a regular contributor to The Biblical Counseling Coalition blog, and writes for Christian women's magazines in both Albania and Bulgaria.

I know you will enjoy Marie’s straightforward blogging style as well as her witty personality! I am so pleased she has joined the regular blogging team.

Ellen Castillo will also be returning as a regular guest blogger. Ellen is a wife, mother, and grandmother and makes her home on California’s central coast. She is a Certified Biblical Counselor with the IABC (International Association of Biblical Counselors) and the AABC (American Academy of Biblical Counselors) and a Counsel Board member for the Biblical Counseling Coalition.

Ellen founded Word of Hope Ministries which provides biblical counseling, and a fantastic Biblical Mentor Training for women. I know you will benefit from her blog posts, she is rich in wisdom and life experience.

You can read more about each of these ladies on the bio page at bc4women.org.

BIG ANNOUNCMENT! We Are Moving!!

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Wed, 30 Dec 2015 17:06:00 +0000

Hello Reading Friends!

I want to let you know there are some changes coming to the blog for 2016! My staff is working on bringing you an ALL NEW blog format in the new year with some other fantastic and exciting changes I think you will find pleasing.

On Friday I will be posting more information on the coming changes and Monday, January 4, 2016 the new blog will debut!

Here is what you need to do in the meantime- Check out the new site and subscribe to the blog's new address at www.bc4women.org to be sure you don't miss a single post. The site is under construction, but you can still get an idea of our new look. The subscription box is just below the countdown clock. If you would do this right away (so you don't forget) that would be great!

I am looking forward to the next phase of this ministry and I hope you will come along and join me in seeing what God has in store for Biblical Counseling for Women!

Reconciling Resentment

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Mon, 28 Dec 2015 11:00:00 +0000

"Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.” Matthew 5:11

Well, you made it! You made it through the Christmas holiday and navigated the difficult waters of being with some people you don’t always care to be around. Maybe you don 't like to be with them because they have hurt you or been offended at the biblical stand you take on issues. Perhaps you are a target of mockery and scorn by your unsaved family members. When you emerge from family events like Christmas celebrations feeling emotionally bruised, it is difficult not to be upset, hurt, and resentful. The more you dwell on what has been done to you, and the injustice you have suffered, the more the resentment builds. Resentment and bitterness are serious issues of the heart. You cannot refuse to deal with your resentments and expect God to respond to your prayers.

Ignoring the spiritual aspect of resentment is actually pretty easy. Rationalizing and justifying resentment resulting from someone else's wrong behavior seems alright. I mean; they hurt you, violated you, abused you! If you weren't resentful you'd be a fool, right? If you responded any other way you would be just asking for more of the same kind of treatment, right?

Jesus says,
And when you stand praying, if you have something against anyone, forgive him so that your Father in the heavens also may forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25

The Lord Jesus expects you to lay down your resentments and deal with your sinful heart. Despite how righteous it seems or feels to hold resentment against those who have hurt you, the Lord has left the example of forgiveness and reconciliation for you to follow (1 Peter 2:21-23).

It must be be said that it is quite inappropriate to grant forgiveness to someone who has not confessed their sin and asked for your forgiveness. However, you cannot continue to hold their sin against them in your heart. Depending on the level of offense committed against you, you may have to spend some very intense time in prayer and discussion with the Lord about these matters before you can move forward. You may never be able to have a conversation about forgiveness with the person who hurt you but that does not eliminate your responsibility to forgive them before God.

Merry CHRISTmas

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Fri, 25 Dec 2015 11:00:00 +0000

Merry Christmas!

Christianity is under persecution around the world, and for many, the only access they have to the Bible is through the internet. My annual Christmas tradition is to post the Christmas story, compiled from the 4 gospels. I have intentionally left in the verse references for the sake of those who want to memorize these passages. You see, many readers of the blog are from countries that the Bible is not readily available and they do not have their own copy of God's precious Word. Because we cannot have a risen Savior without a birth, I am posting His story for His glory!

26 Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city in Galilee called Nazareth, 27 to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the descendants of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary. 28 And coming in, he said to her, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” 29 But she was very perplexed at this statement, and kept pondering what kind of salutation this was. 30 The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; for you have found favor with God. 31“And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus. 32“He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David; 33 and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom will have no end.” 34 Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” 35 The angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy Child shall be called the Son of God. 36“And behold, even your relative Elizabeth has also conceived a son in her old age; and she who was called barren is now in her sixth month. 37“For nothing will be impossible with God.” 38 And Mary said, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
Luke 1:26 through Luke 1:38 (NASB)

18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit. 19 And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly. 20 But when he had considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. 21“She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” 22 Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet: 23“BEHOLD, THE VIRGIN SHALL BE WITH CHILD AND SHALL BEAR A SON, AND THEY SHALL CALL HIS NAME IMMANUEL,” which translated means, “GOD WITH US.” 24 And Joseph awoke from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, and took Mary as his wife, 25 but kept her a virgin until she gave birth to a Son; and he called His name Jesus.
Matthew 1:18 through Matthew 1:25 (NASB)

Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. 2 This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. 3 And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city. 4 Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, 5 in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child. 6 While they were there, the days were completed for her to give birth. 7 And she gave birth to her firstborn son; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

8 In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And an angel of the Lord suddenly stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; 11 for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12“This will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” 13 And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.”

15 When the angels had gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds began saying to one another, “Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us.” 16 So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the baby as He lay in the manger. 17 When they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about this Child. 18 And all who heard it wondered at the things which were told them by the shepherds. 19 But Mary treasured all these things, pondering them in her heart. 20 The shepherds went back, glorifying and praising God for all that they had heard and seen, just as had been told them.
Luke 2:1 through Luke 2:20 (NASB)

Emmanuel Came to Me

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Thu, 24 Dec 2015 11:00:00 +0000

I am surrounded by all the business of Christmas. My tree is lit, the lights are in the windows, the cookies and candy are ready, the gifts are under the beautiful tree. All day long people have been asking, "Well, are you ready for Christmas?" I have been answering, "Yes, I am ready."

I hope you are ready in the same way I am ready. You see, thirty years ago a very important event took place in my life at Christmastime. I was a very worldly and unhappy person back then. I was in a bad way, a miserable marriage, and loaded down with debt and sins. I used material things and alcohol in an attempt to soothe my empty heart and to fill up the lonely hours of my life. As a result of those very bad decisions my life was a complete wreck and I despaired of living any longer.

I knew who God was, I believed in Him, and I thought (hoped) I could do enough things to make up for the bad things in life so at the end I would get to go to heaven. I did not understand much more about God than Jesus died on the cross because I was a bad person. I never gave it much more thought than that. I prayed religious prayers, I did my religious duty (when I felt especially guilty) and went to church on Christmas and Easter and even some times in between.

I was encouraged to read the Bible by a friend who had recently "gotten saved." Now, I was pretty sure I didn't want anything to do with that whole business, but I knew I needed something or life was just not worth living.

As I began reading in Matthew I was fighting for every word because none of it meant much to me. The genealogy was difficult, and the Christmas story I knew...I kept reading and was just about ready to quit when I came to Matthew 7.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. “For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. “Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? “Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? “If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!" Matthew 7:7-11 (NASB)

In whatever mysterious way the Spirit moves upon the heart of a person, those were the words He used to begin the transformation of my heart from one of stone to one of flesh. I recall reading and re-reading them and finding that they were so appropriate for me. I was most certainly evil, and I knew how to give good gifts to my child. I also admitted to myself that I was seeking something, I just wasn't sure what- until that moment.

In just those brief moments of time everything changed. Everything changed! I changed! And suddenly I prayed to God as I never had before, asking Him to save me from my sins, to come into my heart, to give me the Holy Spirit, and to give me the gift of eternal life. I changed in an instant from one who was lost to one who had been found by God; from one who was God's enemy to one who was God's child!

So, yes, yes, yes!! I am ready for Christmas! I am ready for the return of Jesus Christ! Oh come! Oh come Emmanuel!

In the Thick of the Struggle

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Wed, 23 Dec 2015 11:00:00 +0000

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. Romans 7:15 (NASB)

Time after time I am asked by those I minister to why we continue to struggle with sin. They ask why we just can't move on to the next thing and be done with the struggles. Most of us want to do what is right, we want to honor God, and we want to serve others- until we are given another option. It is so easy to think all the right things, isn't it? It is easy to be objective and look at sin and tell ourselves and others that we never want to go there; we never want to go back when it is not staring us in the face.

What is it that leads us to return to the sinful actions we despise? Sometimes we want to fit in with our friends and family. We think it will feel good to blend in and be one of them for just a little while. The heart longs for that connection with our brothers and sisters and other family members who do not understand what our life in Christ is about. Our friends have disappeared and we find ourselves alone more than we would like to be alone. We succumb to the temptation to "be one of them again" in whatever form we have to take to do that. It doesn't have to be a major crash like drug use or drunkenness, it can be viewing a movie or program that causes you to stumble or having just one alcoholic drink.

It is not always what is done, it is the reason and the heart behind the reason. Returning to old sinful behaviors is a result of having old sinful desires of the heart. Returning to things of old reveals that a person still struggles with worship in a particular area of the heart.

Our actions are the end results of things we want or desire and those desires begin in the heart. When you and I make decisions to do something or have something we are fulfilling the desires that are born in the heart; the immaterial part of us that the Bible talks about hundreds and hundreds of times.

When a person returns to old sinful actions to "fit in" or be a part of their old life in some way it is because they desire to please themselves or to please others more than they desire to glorify and honor God. The desire for "self" is stronger than their love for God in those minutes or hours. You might want to argue that with me and I understand that desire too... Sin hates exposure and there is nothing like having to look at the logs in your own eye to rile a person up with self-righteousness, justification, and rationalization.

Let me encourage you to take a different path with this realization. Take the path of self-examination instead. Check yourself in light of God's Word and see if He is your first love, if His will is your first thought, and His glory is your highest goal and desire. Then follow the exhortations of James, the brother of Jesus:

But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you. James 4:6-10 (NASB)

When I am Weary and Heavy-laden

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Mon, 21 Dec 2015 11:00:00 +0000

My pastor delivered a most unusual message in church yesterday. He spoke about how difficult it is for many of use to be happy and jolly this time of the year. He is right. There are times in each of our lives where we come up against obstacles that threaten to knock us over and flatten us. These times cause us to look up to the heavens and cry out, "Why God, why?"

Many are still in the midst of serious financial difficulties. People who have worked hard all their lives are now underemployed or completely unemployed and living off their dwindling savings. They are too young to retire and too old and experienced to be considered for new positions. Changing careers is not an option, and furthering their education would not ever pay off when considering the number of employable years that remain.

I know numerous people who are facing devastating loss as loved ones are losing their lives to illness. In a moment life went from planning the future to being bombarded with medical terminology and treatment options. Words like "terminal" and "hospice" are becoming familiar and for some, realistic hope for a cure in this life is dwindling. We long for them to be released from their suffering, knowing our suffering will truly begin when theirs ends.

Parents who desire a warm, idyllic Christmas gathering with children and grandchildren know that to have the whole family together in one house will be stressful and ugly. The children are at war with each other and that makes the holiday's unbearable. I know of parents who have given up on the idea altogether and have taken to stopping in at the homes of each of their children just so they can see everyone.

I don't know a person whose life is trouble free. No matter what problem you face today, whether it's a large or small issue, life just gets wearing and we tend to get weary of it.

Jesus said,
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 (NASB)

When I am weary of this life and its troubles I yearn for the closeness of my Savior. There is no one else who can provide the comfort and the rest my soul and jangled emotions require when I am weighed down with the cares of the world and its people. The rest Jesus speaks of comes as I unload the burdens of my heart onto Him through my prayer time. My troubles certainly don't melt away like snow, but I am comforted in knowing that when I go to Him and talk to Him about these things He hears me. He enters into my troubles with me, spiritually encouraging me and reminding me that I am not alone. Once again I have to ask, how do the unbelievers make it through this life without Christ?

As I share my burdens with Him and read His Word, I am reminded that these difficult days are intended to mature me, shape me, and further develop my Christ-like character. They are intended to make me more like Christ as I share in His sufferings.

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son. Romans 8:28-29 (NASB)

Do not weary in doing good my friends. Do not despair and do not think all your worldly misery is for nothing. God is aware of every tear and every sorrow. He is walking with you through every moment of suffering. Your life and its hardships serve a purpose. He is accomplishing His goals in your heart and life too!

Be thankful. Be grateful. He loves you!

Do not despair, pour out your heart to Him. In so doing, you will experience His wonderful lavish grace wash over your aching heart. He will give you rest.

Maranatha. Come, Lord Jesus.

If You Could Rid the World of One Thing...

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Fri, 18 Dec 2015 11:00:00 +0000

Yesterday morning I saw a posting on social media that asked this question: If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? There were the usual answers of poverty, war and so on, but one answer gave me great pause: religion/God.

This was a stunner for me, but I guess it shouldn't be. Never, at any other time in my life have I seen such disdain for Christianity. The comments on this social media thread were crushing to me. People hate God, and they don't care much for those of us who don't. They don't want morals, they don't want standards, they aren't concerned with ethics, or righteousness. Goodness is now scorned and evil is exalted on a much broader platform than most of us would be comfortable believing.

On a national and global scale, social media is still fairly anonymous (or at least people think it is) so many people are comfortable typing out their true thoughts and beliefs about things and I tell you, they are ugly. Men curse the name of God because of their troubles, they blame Him for their misery much like Revelation 16:9,11 says they will do.

The general mood of the public makes it very hard to believe Christmas is one week from today. We've put up the tree, and I have the carols playing in the house and the car. The gifts continue to arrive at the door and I suspect tonight there will be a wrapping party in my living room. In spite of all the normal Christmassy things, I am just not feeling it this year.

I am reading through the Bible, praying, meditating on Scripture, and I completely understand that Christmas is not about any of the worldly things I've cited above. Still, I'm not in the Christmas spirit.

There is so much sorrow and brokenness around us! We Christians offer the key to restoration and reconciliation and the world does not want it. How long will the Lord tarry? How long will He tolerate such disrespect?

If I could rid the world of one thing, it would be sin.

Maranatha. Come Lord Jesus.

Good Will or Goodwill?

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Wed, 16 Dec 2015 11:30:00 +0000

There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven— A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 (NASB)

My husband and I were talking over dinner the other night about the changes that have come our way this year. He has been working in the garage, sorting through 25 plus years of accumulating tools, and other guy stuff.

As he is weeding through things and deciding what stays and what goes, he is mourning. He said that in a way it is like preparing to die. He recalled the last time he did such a thing was when his father fell into poor health and was unable to clean out his own basement and garage. Being a little morose, he said he suspected that the next time someone went through his things in this way would be after he died. Sadly, I suspect that is the case.

I understand his reaction, I had a similar response when our youngest son got married this summer. Suddenly the 4 quart crockpot was ridiculously large, I didn't need twin sized sheets anymore, and there seemed to be so much of everything! I suppose some consider the emotional response to such changes as the empty nest syndrome - I just think of it as part of the normal flow of life.

I clearly remember when my mom was nearing the end of her life and we cleaned out the linen closet together. She had a very hard time with being willing to part with sheets and blankets that had not been used for many years. Similarly, when my dad moved from the house into an apartment a few years ago he was very distressed at seeing things he had worked so hard for all his life being given away or tossed in a dumpster.

I am not sure any of us are really ready for the latter part of our lives. We spend so much of our younger years amassing things that we will need "someday" or at some point in time. One day we wake up and poof! "Someday" has come and gone and we are left with our memories and a bunch of stuff we no longer need.

So, what is the lesson to be learned from this? The only thing for certain is change. Take time to make memories, repair relationships, cherish every moment you have with those you love. Those are things that will endure long after your stuff goes to Goodwill or the landfill.

I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and to do good in one’s lifetime; moreover, that every man who eats and drinks sees good in all his labor—it is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear Him. That which is has been already and that which will be has already been, for God seeks what has passed by. Ecclesiastes 3:12-15 (NASB)

The Biblical Counseling Coalition: Stronger Together

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Mon, 14 Dec 2015 11:00:00 +0000

This past week I attended the Leadership Retreat for the Biblical Counseling Coalition at WinShape Resort in Georgia. It is a beautiful setting for a gathering of men and women from all over the nation and the world who are dedicated to biblical counseling.

We come together from a variety of organizations: CCEF, ACBC, IABC, ABC, and from various ministry settings. We are a diverse group! Most are pastors who practice biblical counseling in their churches and others are medical doctors, and those who hold advanced degrees in specialized fields. Many are from academic settings where they teach biblical counseling. There were a few like me who serve in or operate a biblical counseling center either within or outside of a local church.

Our purpose in meeting together for 3 days was to discuss mental health and biblical counseling, and enjoy the fellowship and encouragement that comes from being united in mind and heart. Our central belief is that the Scriptures contain everything needed for life and godliness. With the agreement that the Word of God is sufficient, we are free to learn from one another and expand our understanding of complex topics. We do this by listening to one another and interacting in a large group format around a central topic.

We also participate in small groups. These small group times allow us to share joys and sorrows, burdens and blessings of being involved in ministry life. We prayed for each other, cried with one another, and rejoiced in what God is doing in our lives and ministries.

While these gatherings take me away from my counseling office for several days, I have determined they are important for me to attend. Dealing with human tragedy on a weekly basis as I do, I long for the comradery that comes from such an event. I suspect everyone in attendance would say the same thing.

For the reasons I mentioned here and many more, if you are a biblical counselor and not already a member, I would encourage you to become a part of the Biblical Counseling Coalition. We are much stronger together than apart.

If you would like to see more pictures, or are curious as to who is involved in the BCC, you can see more here.
For more information: http://biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/

If you are unable to join, but would like to support the BCC financially, we welcome your gift.

Persecution and Standing Firm

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Wed, 09 Dec 2015 11:00:00 +0000

Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Ephesians 6:13 (NASB)

In light of the increasing terror attacks in our world, and as those attacks begin to happen here in the United States I have been giving a lot of thought to standing firm in the face of persecution.

Scripture is clear that we will suffer for our faith, and like our brothers and sisters in foreign lands we will one day be called upon to make a life and death proclamation. We will be told to renounce our faith in Jesus Christ or suffer the punishment for it. We are on borrowed time. The question must be asked, will you stand in the day? In my counseling ministry I see so many people who are not dealing biblically or not dealing at all with relatively simple (compared to persecution) issues and I wonder how they will fare when the truly tough stuff comes along.

The only hope any of us have to be able to stand fearlessly against persecution is to have the Word of God so deeply ingrained in our hearts and minds that it becomes our automatic response to issues and problems. It has to start with the small things! It has to begin with the issues I write about each day on this blog and the other common to man things we face. Friends, if we crumple under the small things, and if we lack the discipline to live the Word of God in times without persecution, then how on earth will we ever manage when what we we view as the unthinkable happens?

These are some of the tough questions I have been asking myself recently. The events happening in our country and the world have caused me to look deep inside my soul. I am doing some hard evaluating of my faith and my ability to stand firm and live what I know is true - even if it means someone taking my freedom or my earthly life.

I recall reading an article in Voice of the Martyrs about a Christian from one of the Asian countries who was jailed for her faith. Each day she was presented with new forms of abuse and torture as the soldiers tried to make her renounce her faith in Jesus. One particular episode involved forcing her to stand on a narrow board for hours upon hours without food or water or a bathroom break. The soldiers would come and demand she renounce Jesus, she would politely refuse, and they would beat her. Then she would have to stand on the board until the next inquisition when the cycle would repeat itself. This went on all day long. At some point, they broke her leg and still they made her stand on the board with one leg if she would not reject her Lord.

I have thought of this young woman many times in the years since I read that story, and I wonder if I would have been so committed and steadfast if I were in her position. I sure hope so, but I truly do not know. I'd like to think I would be willing to leave this life for eternal like with Christ, but since I have not been tested this way I don't know what I would actually do or say if I were in the position of my Asian sister.

What about you? Have you asked yourself these questions? Do you know what your level of commitment to Jesus Christ is today? If the terrorists came into your workplace or classroom, or the store you stopped in to grab a gift for a loved one, would you be able to stand for Jesus in the face of torture or death?

The only way we will stand strong and unwavering is through the power of the Holy Spirit and the truth of the Word of God. It has to become the priority of life; it simply has to. The stakes are too high to pretend these things won't happen in our lifetime. I think we'd all better face the fact that events like San Bernadino will in all likelihood be on the increase. Spend time every single day committing the Word of God to memory. Pray for the strength to stand firm in the face of persecution and even death for the sake of Christ.

When Not to be Content

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Mon, 07 Dec 2015 11:00:00 +0000

Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. Philippians 4:11 (NASB)

This past week I had the privilege of speaking to a group of women on the topic of contentment. I had some additional thoughts on that subject that I didn't go into during the speaking venue. In light of some of the well-meaning but dangerously wrong counsel I have heard given to women over the years, I thought I would bring out something important pertaining to this verse.

I am often asked questions like what to do when my husband hits me, or wants me to watch pornographic movies, or swap partners? What do I do when I am ill and he won't allow me to go to the doctor? How should I respond when he demands I provide a record of all my activities of the day? Is a woman to be content in such circumstances?

Another question posed to me is from women who are presently working full or part time and want to quit their jobs and stay at home but her husband says she has to work. Sometimes the question is about spending money or what she does in her free time or who her friends are.

There are covenantal obligations and non-covenantal obligations, there are preferences and there are commands. Even in a covenantal obligation such as marriage their can be exceptions to be content in every circumstance. The woman who is beaten or abused by her husband has no obligation to be content. In fact, to counsel her to live this way is completely contrary to the Scriptures! A beaten or abused woman is not only a wife, she is a sister in Christ to her husband and a part of the Bride of Christ and the church has an obligation to assist her.

Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same;for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid;for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil. Therefore it is necessary to be in subjection, not only because of wrath, but also for conscience’ sake. Romans 13:1-5 (NASB)

Romans 13 is not a suggestion, and Christians are to submit to the authorities placed over us, for they are there to protect us. If it is determined a woman is being abused by her husband, the church is commanded to hold the him accountable for his sin against his wife. In the case of spousal abuse this means we literally help the woman to remove herself from the situation, call the police, and encourage her to press charges against the husband. Laws are in place to help women in such cases. The goal is to restore the sinning brother to fellowship, so Matthew 18 must also be a part of the plan and aggressive counseling measures must be implemented with strict accountability!

Any time a husband asks his wife to sin she is not obligated to obey him. She cannot participate in sexual sin because she must first submit to God and cannot disobey God in order to obey her husband.

Other issues like working or staying home are not as clear cut as we might like to think. While it is true that Titus 2 tells women to be keepers at home that is not always possible due to economic situations in the marriage. If the couple has not lived by sound financial principles, or if they've made poor decisions by getting into debt will require 2 incomes. Making good decisions with money, paying down debt, and living below your means will help to return a working woman to the home in the future. In such cases discontentment is not a bad thing since it is spurring you on to make necessary changes in your life.

More on a Biblical Response to Suffering

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Wed, 02 Dec 2015 11:00:00 +0000

"It is good for me that I was afflicted, That I may learn Your statutes." Psalm 119:71

Typically, when we think about suffering, "good" is not a word that we would use to describe it. Our flesh cries out that suffering is bad because it is painful and sometimes heartbreaking. Often we feel miserable emotionally and sometimes physically. Yet, there are good things that suffering brings into our lives. The Bible teaches us that however we feel about suffering, it is good for us.

Here are some of the good things that come from suffering: Suffering teaches us about God and about ourselves. In the fires of suffering we learn what we are really made of. While suffering, we learn what we truly believe about God and who we are to Him. Suffering brings out our theology, and we learn if it is accurate.

Suffering identifies us with Christ.

"For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps”1 Peter 2:21

What you are suffering may be a result of something you have done or something that is unjust. In other words, you may be suffering because of the sin of another person or a decision they made that did not turn out well. You may be suffering unjustly at the hands of another. Understand that part of the calling we have received in salvation includes bearing up under unjust suffering as Christ did.

Christ left you the example of how to do it; we know His suffering was far from just. The suffering of Christ on the cross was our suffering. It was not just – it was justice. It was God exacting the justice – the price He requires to satisfy the debt of our sin, and applying it to our account. That in every sense of the word is not “fair” it was not just.

“Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Sinless Jesus sacrificed Himself for us. He suffered as He left the Father’s side and humbled Himself to become one of us (Phil. 2) to live and walk among us. He suffered as he experienced humanity in every aspect. Hebrews 4:15 says Jesus can sympathize with us in all our weaknesses because He was in all ways tried and tested as we are.

He was despised and rejected, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. (Isa. 53:3)

His family thought he was crazy before they came to believe He was truly the Son of God. He lost friends and relatives to death and sickness and injustice (John the Baptist, Lazarus). He died taking all our sin upon Himself, so that we would be justified in Him. His suffering made the way for us to be made right with God. His suffering was on our behalf.

As we bear up under the sins of others, and as we reap the consequences of the sin of others we have a place to go to learn how to do that. We have the privilege of following Christ and we can look to Him and see how He responded when swore at, how He responded when he was hurt or hated, or rejected. Follow His example and you will bring forth a harvest of righteousness.

I'm Sorry, You Can't Change Him

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 11:00:00 +0000

So many Christian women come to biblical counselors to learn how to change a husband who is difficult, harsh, and unloving. The wife is crying out for love and affection in her marriage and her husband is not interested in providing it.

The last thing she wants to hear is, I'm sorry, you can't change him.

Period.

It is really hard to look the sorrowful wife in the eye and confirm what she's suspected all along. She can do everything right, she can be obedient, godly, sexy, submissive; really, be a great wife and mother and he will still be who he is. This is deeply discouraging for a woman to hear. His heart change does not depend on her behavior. He will only change as the Spirit of God moves in his heart; as he is convicted by the word of God as to how he is to live and then responds.

What I have observed about women in such marriages is her heart is also in danger. A natural (but sinful) response to such hurt and sorrow is anger and bitterness. Even if she doesn't recognize it as such, it is often present and is evidenced in her words, demeanor, and actions around her husband. She sees everything in the marriage as being to his advantage because the Bible commands her to respect him, submit to him, and obey his wishes. This includes give him sex when he wants it. When she has contemptible feelings toward him she wants to do none of these things.

Sometimes such a woman comes for counseling looking for permission to leave her husband. She is angry because she wants to escape the marriage and it is common that she has already been told by her pastor or other church authority that she has no biblical grounds for divorce. She feels trapped. She comes to view her marriage as something to bear instead of as a one flesh relationship. A woman in such a marriage often says she has no positive feelings for her husband anymore. She views the rest of her life as misery to be endured because she does not love him. Her life becomes performance out of obligation, and she dreads it. The more she focuses on her circumstances and the negative feelings she has, the more anxious and unhappy she becomes.

Because few pastors are trained to do any effective counseling (biblical or otherwise), they refer such couples to a marriage therapist who will use unbiblical methods with the couple. Since it is common for such counsel to be focused on feelings and his needs/her needs and not on the heart issues or the necessity to change for the glory of God, little change takes place. The other thing we hear in our office is wives are blamed for the actions of the husband. One woman reported her pastor saying to her, “Surely you must have done something for him to turn away from you.” When this kind of “help” is given it is common for one or both marital partners to become increasingly frustrated and hopeless. It is at this point the marriage breaks up and very often one or both people leave the church. They believe the church failed them, and Jesus or His Word was not sufficient to address their problems.

I believe it is extremely important for the church to be involved in reconciling these relationships, either directly by providing biblical counseling or by referring to a biblical counselor who has experience in these issues. The church must teach, and train the couple in righteousness, and they must be correcting and rebuking them for their individual sin. A wise, godly man should be actively confronting the husband for his unbiblical actions in the marriage if he is willfully withholding himself from his wife. A wise, godly older woman should be addressing the sinful responses of the wife as well (Titus 2). In the best case scenario, this will be taking place in tandem with weekly biblical counseling.

Difficult Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Wed, 25 Nov 2015 11:00:00 +0000

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day and while it is going to be a day of celebration and family fun for many of you, for others it will be a day of sorrow and loneliness. It is the first of several difficult holidays to come, and you dread it.

Holidays can be very hard when there are broken relationships among family members. Whether it is spouses battling with each other or children estranged from their parents, what would otherwise be a day of food and festivities will be full of heartache and sorrow.

There are no easy answers here. I have no magic wand to wave and I cannot give you anything that will make your loved ones kinder, and more cooperative. What I can offer you today is the knowledge that God understands your sorrow. The Bible teaches us that God is familiar with such distresses for He has experienced the sorrow of rebellious children (us), and broken relationships (with His people) since Genesis 3. He longs for His children to come to Him in obedience and surrender, to love Him and want to be in His presence. Jesus gives us this example regarding Israel:

"Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing." Luke 19:41 (ESV)

Many a mom has felt this way about her wayward children.

As you go through Thanksgiving Day, pray for those who are difficult or hard to love. Try not to get drawn into difficult conversations, or entertain topics you know will raise the ire of those in the room. Even if they mock or taunt you, pray for them as you go about your tasks.

But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Matthew 5:44 (ESV)

Sometimes it seems as though our homes are war zones instead of the places of peace and tranquility we want them to be. Sitting around the living room with family members who are unbelievers can be very stressful. Remember that they don't share your belief system and won't be able to understand why you believe what you believe (1 Cor. 2:13-16).

And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:24-26 (ESV)

Love them, serve them, be kind to them. Do your best to be Jesus with skin on. They may be much more receptive to your demonstrations of love than your words.

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:1:4 (ESV)

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:21 (ESV)

Are You Fearful of God?

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Mon, 23 Nov 2015 11:00:00 +0000

You don’t need me to tell you that at this point in history we have more reasons than ever before to be fearful, anxious and to worry. Our economy is faltering, every day there is a new story of terrorism, we live with threats, shootings, and natural disasters.

Many of the Old Testament saints struggled with fear and worry. Great men like Moses (Ex. 3:11, Ex. 4:1, Ex. 4:10, 4:13), or King Saul (1 Samuel 15:21-22).

The first woman, Eve, struggled with the serpent in the OT narrative (Gen. 3) of being afraid she was going to miss something by not eating of that tree in the center of the garden. Let’s pick up her story today after her and Adam both partook of that fruit. In Gen. 3:8-10, we see Adam displaying a new kind of fear.

They heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. Then the LORD God called to the man, and said to him, “Where are you?” He said, “I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” Genesis 3:8-10

They became afraid when they knew good and evil. When their eyes were opened and they understood things they were not intended to understand. They became afraid of discovery, afraid of punishment, afraid of God.

Thankfully, a believer in Christ we have no reason to fear God in that way. Scripture has no references to their being any sort of punishment from God for a born again believer in Christ. What would God punish us for? Scripture teaches us that all our sin- past, present, future was paid for on the cross. Romans 8:1 tells us there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus! When God looks at the blood bought saint, all He sees is Christ. If there was something for God to punish us for, then it would mean that Christ’s sacrifice and His redemption of our souls was incomplete. Living in fear of God and believing He waits to punish His children is unbiblical.

If you are a person who lives in fear of God, you have to ask yourself if you have a real reason to be afraid. Do you see God as condemning and judgmental? Is it possible you are laboring under a false salvation? It is possible to have an understanding of your sinful condition and still be in stubborn rebellion before God. It is possible to have head knowledge of salvation, know the right words to say, what you are supposed to believe and still be unregenerate! Once you place your faith and trust in Christ that fear will dissipate.

Following and Striving

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Fri, 20 Nov 2015 11:00:00 +0000

What does it mean to "follow after Christ"? I have been pondering this question as I am counseling someone who is wondering if their faith is genuine. Genuine struggle is a part of our faith journey; it is a part of our sanctification process.

However, I have great concern for my perfectionistic brothers and sisters in Christ. It seems so many of them truly struggle with being accepted based on their performance. As they read the Scriptures, they see only the commands and little of the grace! They try to be "good" and are so deeply affected when they fail. Each day they leave their beds with one goal: "to do." Living this way sucks the joy right out of life. Their days contain one (perceived) failure after the next, and depression quickly sets in as they come to the point where they are not even sure they believe what they thought they believed.

My heart is so heavy and burdened for such as these. My desire is to point them back to the cross, but the cross no longer represents freedom and victory to them; it represents failure on their part. It becomes one more thing they cannot understand or make sense of.

Set aside your personal expectations and rules of performance and return to your first love- Jesus Christ. I do think it is alright to simply rest in Him and allow His grace and love and mercy and acceptance to wash over you and renew your heart and mind. God is in charge of this process in your life, I promise (because HE promises) that you won't miss a thing. Return to the basics of your relationship with Him and find your purpose there.

Yes, a part of following Christ is doing things. We are to demonstrate the Christ-life within us through the lives we live and how we impact those around us but that is not the focal point of being a Christ follower. Performing all things Christian can become a god, and an idol of the heart and effectively steal away our love for the Lord and our joy.

In a vast majority of cases feelings have become an idol, and have been allowed to rule the persons life. Here is truth: feelings are to be ruled over by the Holy Spirit; and the thoughts, beliefs, and desires of the body are to be filtered through the grid of Scripture. Too many allow their feelings to dictate their reality.

Spiritually they must preach truth to themselves. Consistent reminders of what our unchangeable God says in His own inspired Word about who we are in Christ, our position in Christ, and about our never-ending need for the gospel are vitally important. These desperate hours are designed to bring them back to that great equalizer- the foot of the cross.

Will You Help?

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Thu, 19 Nov 2015 11:00:00 +0000

Dear Friends,

For the past seven plus years I have devoted time to writing and preparing this blog as a ministry to you. Several times each week you receive biblical truth and information and many, many of you have written me both here and via email to thank me for providing a blog that addresses the real problems and issues you face in life.

You will notice there are no ads on this blog. There never have been, and I don't intend to start monetizing this blog- ever. I find ads on blogs to be annoying and they get in the way of what I click to see there. I don't like them, and I assume you don't either. While I don't monetize this blog, it isn't free to me, and I need your help.

You may have recently received an email from my ministries, Reigning Grace Counseling Center and Biblical Counseling for Women explaining that as the ministry has grown, so have the financial needs. If you haven't seen the email, the letter is posted on the Donation page of the website. I want you to know there is no organization that underwrites anything that I do, the ministry goes forward on the grace of God and by fulfilling the needs of those seeking biblical counseling.

That said, the ministry could really use your help in the form of a financial gift to enable me and my staff to continue to serve those looking for help, healing, and hope through biblical counseling and discipleship. The ministry is a non-profit 501(c)3 charitable organization, and every gift is tax deductible. Will you consider helping with a donation of any size? I've made it easy to donate from the website for Reigning Grace. Just click here! If you want to help but don't want to do so over the internet, there is information on the website for how to do that too.

I'll be honest, it is not easy for me to ask you to financially support the ministry. It is even more difficult to know that some will stop following or reading this blog because I am asking for a financial gift. But the needs are real, and I hope you will consider donating to Reigning Grace Counseling Center and Biblical Counseling for Women for your end of the year charitable giving.

Thank you,
Julie

Meeting Needs in Marriage

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 11:00:00 +0000

As biblical counselors, we spend considerable time teaching our counselee’s new things about marriage because most have not been taught much at all. Many come to the altar with the wrong idea of what marriage is, for and is to be about. They wrongly believe that the other person is going to make them happy. Both people are concerned with themselves and asking, “How can my needs be met?” “How can you please me?” “How can you serve me?”

When, for example, a wife realizes her husband is not overly concerned about meeting her needs all the time because he is concerned about his needs being met trouble brews quickly!

We all have legitimate needs. We expect that when we marry that our spouse will love us and care for us and provide for us. We expect they will be our life-long mate and will be there when things are going wrong or we need help. When you agree to marry someone, you are committing to selflessness for the rest of your life. This is not something to enter into for the supremely selfish. The problem for the married couples we see in biblical counseling is that maybe no one ever told them that! Each person goes into the marriage with an “It’s all about me” attitude and is unwilling to be the initiator in giving.

Your obligation in marriage is to provide for your spouse. Contrary to popular belief, marriage is not a 50/50 relationship. It is a 100/100 relationship. Each of you has to be willing to give it all away. You have to give it all away and expect nothing in return. You do it because you agreed to in the beginning, and because doing it glorifies God.

Sacrificial living for your spouse glorifies God. I have told women I counsel that to determine to serve their husband no matter how ungrateful and selfish he is brings God glory. They are to look at serving him as though they are serving Christ. There are times when glorifying God is going to be a time of human suffering, especially if one person is not fully committed to glorifying God in the marriage.

When a marriage begins to get sour and is full of strife, upset, anger, bitterness and such it is because there is a problem within one or both people in that marriage. There is a problem within the heart and that is what must be dealt with first before there will be any change in the relationship. Your heart must be renewed first by God's grace in salvation and then through the sanctification process as your mind is renewed (Rom.12:1-2).

If your marriage is in trouble your goal should be to glorify God in your marriage. The chief end of man is to live to glorify God in all aspects of life. If you are determining to respond to your husband out of love for God and obedience to Him rather than to serve yourself or to make yourself "happy" then you will begin to experience those changes of heart that will lead to changes in your marriage.

The Double-Edged Sword

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 11:00:00 +0000

I used to be a talker. I wanted people around me all the time and if I didn't have them in person I was on the phone with them. As the years have gone by and most especially in the last decade of my life I realize that I am changed. I love people, I love to serve and minister and counsel, but I am no longer one for idle chatter like I used to be.

As I think about how and why this changed, I would have to say that what had the greatest impact on me was when I determined to really talk only of Him. I have a dear friend (who I don't see nearly as much as I would like) and when we had the opportunity to get together we did not speak of much else except how we were growing, changing, and learning about Jesus. It became our habit to just talk about what God was doing in us and through us to those around us as my old pastor says.

This causes me to be more of a person of reflection than a person of reaction much of the time. I have become very comfortable in my own skin and I am content to be alone with only Jesus to talk to. This has become my prayer life, and I look forward to those times of day where I can be one with Him in discussion about the needs of others and myself. I rejoice in praising Him and thanking Him for His goodness and gracious love He demonstrates toward me.

The other day I heard a song in which the singer was asking the Lord to draw us to Himself. This made me think... I truly desire closeness with the Lord yet I have come to understand that the act of being drawn has a personal cost to my flesh. It seems to be a double edged sword as being drawn comes with pain and suffering or trials.

It is when God is drawing me through His means, and I sense that pull in my Spirit that I understand more of what is required of such a relationship. Don't misunderstand, nothing is required of me for the act of salvation that is all of Him and none of me. I am referring more to living this Christian life that we are called to live and how it is required of me, now bought with a price to be chiseled and hammered and molded and shaped into His likeness. I know when He draws me that another time of painful, delightful growth is headed my way.

I respond to Him as I see magnets respond to the drawing or repel each other. There are times when I welcome whatever He brings and the pull is irresistible and there are times when I want to hover near but not actually embrace what He has for me. My goal is to always welcome His knock at the door of my heart, whether it is noon or midnight. I confess I am not there yet!

I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Romans 7:21-23 (NASB)

How thankful I am that Romans 8 directly follows Romans 7! It is hope-giving and life-giving to those who wish they would never try to run from the drawing hand of God.

Put Off Lies

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Fri, 13 Nov 2015 11:30:00 +0000

Therefore, having laid aside falsehood, each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. Ephesians 4:25 (NET)

No one likes to be lied to. It destroys trust and can ruin relationships. What is the correct and biblical response and how do you overcome that impulse to be sinfully angry? That is the topic for today's blog posting.

I really hate being lied to. It is one of those things that will destroy the bonds of trust that have been built up and gives me reason to doubt anything that person tells me is true.

I get angry when someone lies to me. Sometimes that anger is understandable and perhaps even righteous because the Bible says that God hates lying lips (Prov. 12:22). What I do with the anger is what gets me into trouble. If I respond sinfully by yelling or retaliating in some way that is wrong. Manipulating by giving the silent treatment is also wrong.

But what do we do with these emotions that want to take us captive in the heat of the moment? To keep yourself from falling into the trap of a sinful response, you must train your thoughts on Scripture so that in the moment you can respond righteously.

You might ask the person who has lied questions about the situation instead of making nasty or accusing statements. Before you speak, ask yourself if what you want to say will help the situation; is it profitable? Will it give grace to the hearer (Eph 4:29)? Or are your words designed to hurt and cut them to the quick?

You want to learn if the person understand how serious lying really is. It seems to me that lying is considered by most people to be a respectable sin. I think people are so accustomed to lying that they think little of it. I don't agree with this, of course, but I suspect I am in the minority! Little white lies, telling shades of the truth, sparing someone's feelings, omitting all the facts; these are all ways lies infiltrate our conversations every day.

God does not think lying is acceptable. In fact, Revelation 21:8 makes special note of His displeasure. In the present, lying has serious consequences. We must put off lying ourselves and then help others to understand how to put off the heart attitudes of selfishness, pride, and fear of the opinions of man that lead us to sin in such a way.

A liar will remain a liar until they begin to put on the truth - first to the heart and then to their life. You may be able to help them to learn this truth and to teach them how to put off lying as a lifestyle.

But, I Said I Was Sorry!

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Mon, 09 Nov 2015 11:00:00 +0000

Asking forgiveness may not be the end of the matter in a conflict undergoing the process of reconciliation. When fellow Christians confess their sin to one another it does not erase the hurt and it does not automatically fix the situation. The offender must understand that being granted forgiveness may not and in some cases should not automatically return everything to normal.

That is not to say that the person who has done the forgiving continues to hold the offense over the former offender, but if trust has been destroyed or violated it will take time to in essence prove that change has taken place.

There are consequences to every action and the sinful actions sometimes bring serious consequences. A thief must commit to a schedule of repayment, a liar must submit to being examined for truth, and an adulterer must accept that their spouse will be checking up on them and be willing to be accountable for their time and in some cases their money.

Few people who are in the position of receiving the consequences enjoy this period of reconciliation. Many would rather just skip it altogether and make declarations about "going forward." I assure you, this is going forward!

The person who has repented and asked forgiveness must begin to demonstrate a changed heart by changed actions. It is right to question the sincerity of a person who cannot demonstrate any change of heart. Of course, we do not expect perfection from anyone and any progress is welcome and should be viewed as movement in the direction of righteousness.

It becomes the responsibility of the church to teach and train in righteousness a person who has been corrected. We are to take seriously the admonition of restoring the fallen brother or sister.

A Polished Arrow

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Fri, 06 Nov 2015 11:00:00 +0000

"...he made me into a polished arrow" Isaiah 49:2

I was reading in Streams in the Desert recently, and the entry for that day was this portion of Isaiah 49:2. It got me to thinking about the adversities of life and God’s purposes in them.

The goal for many of us is to get through life as unscathed and trouble free as possible, when that is not God’s intention or plan at all for His children. Think of all of God we would miss without adversity, without hardship, and without persecution.

Our faith and trust in God grows deep in times of trial. The roots of our belief and understanding grow deep and strong into our hearts and create anchors that are immovable. Some of the best times of growth in my spiritual life have been when life has been at its worst. When times were tough and I was completely uncertain of everything in this life and how it would unfold is when the “Who” of God became real.

Do you know what I mean by the “Who of God?” Until we have cause to grab hold of all we have learned and put in our minds about God and His character it is all ethereal and unformed. There is little substance that we can wrap our arms around. But when those harsh waves of adversity crash into life we begin to experience God. We begin to “see” who He is and receive in ways that defy words the things God promises to us as we believe.

Without these things in life we would remain unpolished, our edges both outer and inner would remain jagged. Adversity brings change on some level. It brings us changes of the heart (the inner man) because we receive things that we don’t want, or we are denied things that we do want and we have to make a decision to respond righteously. This causes change as what we have learned in the abstract now must become real to us in application. When we make that transfer, change takes place.

God’s polishing tool brings us pain at times, literal, physical pain. Illness, disease, and suffering are all tools of the Almighty in shaping us into His image. He will stop at nothing to create in us what He has foreordained.

Preparing for Future Days

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Wed, 04 Nov 2015 11:00:00 +0000

“I love You, O LORD, my strength.” The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, And I am saved from my enemies. Psalm 18:1-3

My friends were joking with me the other day about the amount of things I pack into a day. I admit it, I am productive. It comes at a cost as I frequently find I am weary. Admittedly, there are days I wonder, “How on earth do I have the stamina for all this?” This becomes more evident as I progress through middle age and realize that each day brings the finish line closer into view.

I am learning to persevere.

And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:3-5

We typically use this passage to bring ourselves comfort as we endure various difficulties but that is not the context of the passage. These tribulations Paul speaks of here are persecutions for our faith. In other words, I can say that the trials I face today are preparing me for the persecutions that are to come. What we face today is merely the precursor for future events.

God is gracious. He brings and allows small things (relatively speaking) to come our way and build our faith. I would never say that chronic illness or cancer or abuse are small things and yet, in the grand scope of God’s plan they are not on par with what is to come for the Christian. They like their lesser fellow troubles are training grounds and proving grounds. They help us to know what stuff we are made of. They deepen our faith and trust in God for the hours to come.

We persevere, we press on, we move forward in spite of and in the midst of pain and misery. We live out the definition of the word as we continue working in the face of strong opposition and great obstacles. Were our lives easy and trouble free as we often wish for; there would be no strength and little substance to our faith!

The character of a Christian is proven under stress. I admit that as I am placed under more and more stress the sin in my life leaks out through the stress cracks in my character. This is sure not something I glory in, but I am thankful for it nonetheless. God uses these times to reveal my flaws and give me the opportunity to be changed in these days of relative ease. (I say that because no one is at this point in time demanding that I must renounce my faith, nor am I being threatened with arrest or death because of my faith) I would not want to learn my weaknesses when my character must be like cast iron under the pressure of persecution.

Think about the times you are tempted to just give up and chuck the whole Christian life because the pagan way appears so much easier…if you are honest with yourself, you will admit those thoughts occasionally come along. The good news is that you have not bowed under that pressure to this point in your Christian life and you won’t if you are a true believer in Christ. God is keeping you, (Psalm 121:3, Jude 1:24) and your perseverance is by the grace of God as He is preparing you in little steps for the days of persecution.

As you succeed through each of these times of temptation, hope is built within you. Not the world’s hope that disappoints, but hope that sees that God is truly faithful! We need these preparatory times, for it is certain tougher days are ahead.

Obtaining an Inheritance

noreply@blogger.com (JulieG) — Mon, 02 Nov 2015 11:00:00 +0000

We have obtained an inheritance... Ephesians 1:11a (NASB)

I think we often struggle with really grasping these big theological truths because we are so temporally oriented. We do tend to live in today, and since we have never experienced anything like “eternal life” before we struggle to put it into a context we can understand. Our ability is limited to the best earthly things we can think of. We have never experienced sinless, so how can we relate to that? One day we will experience that though, it is a part of our inheritance!

Here are some other enormous things we will inherit:

Eternal salvation “so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” Titus 3:7
Eternal glory – “through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.” Romans 5:2
The universe- "In these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world.” Hebrews 1:2
The eternal presence of God Himself- “And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them…” Revelation 21:3

Our limited understanding does not allow us to fully understand what any of these things are going to be like, to even try makes my head hurt! Faith is required to accept that these things are ours and are certain. I cannot emphasize enough that the reason we are given these things is by grace alone! You and I did nothing to earn or merit this special favor from God; it was by His own goodness and mercy that we have been placed in Christ.

According to Eph 1:13 you received it after hearing “the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation…”

And “having also believed…”

Hearing the gospel and believing it are both required to obtain salvation. Many people have heard the gospel through evangelistic messages but not all have believed. According to Ephesians 1, all those who God has chosen will believe! This is a great comfort to me when I think of loved ones who as of yet have not been saved. I can rest in God’s plan for their lives knowing that it is not up to me that they be saved. I do not have to cajole, manipulate, beg or plead with them; I only have to clearly and correctly deliver the message of truth. I then pray for their heart to be open and soft to receive the Word.

Once we believe, the Bible says we are “sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory.”

I love this! The Holy Spirit of God living in us is the guarantee that we belong to God! The Holy Spirit indwells us from the moment we believe, and He makes God’s Word understandable to us, He causes us to desire God, desire to pray, and desire to know God more.

The Holy Spirit is also a deposit by God – literally earnest money – that He intends to take us home to be with Him one fine day. If you have ever purchased a home you are familiar with the term “earnest money.” When you find the home you want to purchase you give something that proves you intend to come back to claim it. The Holy Spirit residing within us is God’s earnest money for our redemption. He intends to come for us and proves that by leaving a part of Himself with us! It is His mark on us, and it says, “You belong to Me and to no other. I claim you, and no one can take you away from Me.”

Jesus said this much better:

“…I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. “My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. John 10:28-29

Simply glorious truths!