Casa DeFrias

Rainy with a Chance of Baby: My TEDxCoMo Talk

2013-04-23T08:30:00.001-07:00

Join the movement... Let's end the silent struggle. "It's a surprisingly little known fact: 15% of couples are infertile, and 25-40% of detected pregnancies are miscarried. But no one talks about these things. Until now. In this talk, 3-time cancer survivor Kara DeFrias shares her story of love, loss, and the struggles that go along with trying to conceive a child. And how a positive attitude (

signing off, but sticking around

2013-03-03T21:03:00.002-08:00

I had cancer. It didn't have me. (Well, they haven't found one that'll kill me yet.) Source. As you may have noticed, postings have been more sparse than my barren uterus around here. That's because, while 2012 has been a huge year of changes for me (including a wonderfully fantastic opportunity to serve my country as a member of the first class of White House Presidential Innovation Fellows)

happy father's day!

2012-06-17T18:02:00.001-07:00

To all those lucky men out there who are fathers and dads, may you have a spectacular father's day! Here's my Dad and I sitting on the bridge at Cinderella's Castle on my first trip to Walt Disney World, circa 1977.

a different kind of custody battle: who gets the embryos in a divorce?

2012-04-15T13:07:00.000-07:00

Petri dish, meet embryos. Photo: Source. A little over 2 years ago, in January of 2010, I was diagnosed with uterine cancer. While the gynecological oncologist wanted to perform surgery right away, my immediate instinct was not to save myself, but to save my future kids. Fertility preservation, a term I'd never heard of until then, came into our lives. Fertility preservation is used mainly by

hysterectomy and cancer: a look back 2 years later

2012-04-12T11:31:00.000-07:00

Photo: Michelle Zive. Two years ago at right this very moment, the Big HMO gynecological oncologist was performing a full hysterectomy on me. I was 34 years young, and up until the second I went under, I thought hysterectomies only happened to old(er) women. Surely not to young women, ones who haven't had the chance to bear their own children yet. A lot has happened in the past two years, and

new eff cancer tees available (a g-rated version, too!)

2012-04-03T15:00:00.000-07:00

They're back! After a long hiatus and issues with Cafe Press (still never got my commission...but whatever...), you can now buy your "F*ck cancer" shirts once again. I received feedback from friends who are mommies who wanted to support the cause but apparently can't run around wearing the word "f*ck" across their breasts all day. So I thought about it and came up with the "Fuzzy

just another day living at the beach

2012-03-28T21:45:00.001-07:00

I've been living back at the beach for about 2 months now, and take my lab to the dog beach a lot. Tonight's sunset was a keeper.

i choose positive

2012-03-25T11:58:00.001-07:00

Two years ago at this time I was going through IVF and battling uterine cancer. My friend's daughter painted this picture for me. A simple rainbow, a sun, and my dog Xander (she'd "met" him when her mother and I were skyping). I have it hanging in my garage now so that it's the last thing I see before I start my day. One, because it makes me smile and two, it shows me that life can be

my tedx talk: space shuttles, cancer and life -- and the 30% that binds them

2012-03-11T19:16:00.001-07:00

Last summer I was selected by NASA to attend the NASATweetup at the final space shuttle launch, securing a spot by throwing my name in the hat for their Twitter contest. What followed was a whirlwind of activity, but it's safe to say I came home with 150 new friends and memories to last a lifetime. Cut to four months later: a TEDx organizer who'd read my article on "How to Put on a TEDx Show"

healthy as a horse: what i learned while fighting breast cancer (guest post)

2012-02-11T07:43:00.000-08:00

One of my goals with this site is to get people talking about things that are historically "hush-hush" (infertility, miscarriages, cancer, etc.) in the hopes we can shatter the stigma and openly support each other (both women and men). This is the next in a series of guest posts. - Kara Healthy as a Horse by Melissa Gollnick How to do a breast self-exam. Photo: Mayo Clinic. Labor Day

susan g. komen pulls planned parenthood funding: a cancer survivor's take

2012-02-01T11:40:00.000-08:00

Source: someecards. When I was in my early 20s and working in LA, I made a pittance working in the Hollywood machine. So little, in fact, that I couldn't afford the co-pay for birth control. Luckily, there was a Planned Parenthood out on the Valley, and I was able to get my pills from them. Sure, many people hear "Planned Parenthood" and immediately think "abortion." But they're so much more

my response to "dear 16 year old me" skin cancer video

2011-12-19T22:21:00.000-08:00

A friend sent me a text this weekend: "Posted a link to a touching melanoma video on Facebook. Sure you've seen it already, but obviously made me think of you." The video, called Dear 16 Year Old Me shows real people, not actors, giving advice to their teenage selves. Some are malignant melanoma patients, while others lost loved ones to skin cancer. I hadn't seen it, so I watched. As a two-time

on how to be true to yourself

2011-11-21T14:17:00.001-08:00

On Sunday, I gave my first TEDx talk, at TEDxYouth@BommerCanyon in Irvine, Calif. It coincided with International Children's Day, and I spoke about watching the final space shuttle launch and my battles with cancer.The organizer asked each of the speakers for an inspirational quote to print in the program next to our picture and bio.While there were many who put Einstein, Maya Angelou, and the

the importance of hope: bewise & san diego science alliance welcome oncofertility survivor

2011-08-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I spoke at the University of California San Diego Health Sciences and San Diego Science Alliance BE WiSE Education Program of the Oncofertility Consortium. Yes, that's a mouthful. In a nutshell, it's a highly competitive summer program for girls in 7th - 12th grade who are interested in science and engineering. Dr. Hope introduced me to the woman who runs the program back in

the patient side of cancer and ivf: video shoot for ucsd medical students

2011-07-28T11:16:00.000-07:00

Photo credit: Wet Paint. I recently sat down with Charles Goldberg at UCSD Medical School to create a video as part of a new curriculum for first year medical students, who many times read about case studies only on paper. By taping me telling my story, Goldberg hopes to put a face to the patient at a critical point in these young student's learning: "I’d like...to further bring to life and

CafePress Steals Money From Cancer Patient

2011-06-23T12:07:00.000-07:00

Caught your attention? Good. Did CafePress literally steal money from me? Perhaps not. But the story shows how they didn't give me the money they owed me, either. Back in December 2010, I was diagnosed with cancer for the second time in the same year (yes, 2010 was just all kinds of wonderful). At the time, my attitude toward was understandably "F*ck Cancer." I decided to make a t-shirt on

guess who's attending the final space shuttle launch?

2011-06-12T18:44:00.000-07:00

Why, that would be me! I found out Friday I was selected by NASA as 1 of 150 people (out of over 5,500 applicants) invited to the final shuttle launch before they retire the program entirely after 30 years in operation. This'll be where we'll be, hanging out with the press, 3.1 miles from the launchpad. Photo credit: Nathan Bergey. I wrote up the full story at CaliforniaKara.com. Crazy!

support #620project - my birthday project to raise money for team rubicon

2011-06-04T23:08:00.000-07:00

Want to help combat vets help our country and the world? Donate now. It's Birthday Month! Every year I look forward to my birthday. This year, in lieu of cards or presents, I'd love it if you would consider donating to my 620 Project. My wish is to raise $620 by my birthday, June 20th, for Team Rubicon. From his combat experiences as a Marine in Iraq and Afghanistan, TR founder Jake Wood

Happy Rapture Day, "Lost" Edition

2011-05-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

My favorite quote came yesterday, courtesy of Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof: "Note to Rapture: Don't follow up end of days with shots of plane wreckage on beach. It confuses the fuck out of people." It's going to be a little touchy calling people the day after the Rapture. You don't want to act like you assumed they'd be home.

meeting elizabeth banks and a simple "thank you"

2011-04-24T23:26:00.000-07:00

Me with my new BFF Elizabeth Banks. A few weeks ago I went to a San Diego Magazine "Taste of Hollywood" event at Ben Bridge Jewelers in UTC. Imagine my surprise upon arrival to see that the guest of honor on hand was none other than Elizabeth Banks. While most of you know her from 30 Rock, Scrubs, and Zack and Miri Make a Porno, I admire her for one of her lesser known roles: a real-life, new

hysterectomy: a look back 1 year later

2011-04-12T15:53:00.000-07:00

Classy Gary Larson comic where the lady's carrying the eggs, and the chicken's carrying a baby. One year ago today, I was high as a kite on lovely, lovely Percocet. Lucid, to be sure, but definitely floating on a couple of clouds that may or may not been shaped like unicorns farting glitter. One year ago, I went under the knife to cut out the cancer, and any chance I had of bearing my own

rei and the glass half full mentality

2011-03-27T23:40:00.000-07:00

I headed over to REI to pick up some supplies for our upcoming Australia/New Zealand trip. It just so happened I also needed a t-shirt to wear to the SDBloggers meetup because I knew I'd be burning up in my sweater. I mulled around the store, in a cool-stuff overload daze, and saw maybe two shirts that were kind of okay. Bored, I picked a plain green tee that looked good with my red hair. On my

when motherly instinct overrides cancer

2011-03-12T10:23:00.000-08:00

A year ago this weekend was a pretty big deal for me: I attended my first South by Southwest (SXSW). But that wasn't the big deal (who are we kidding, it was freaking cool - I sang Bon Jovi backed by a live band). Me rocking out Bon Jovi's "Wanted: Dead or Alive" with the live band at #TechKaraoke. Yes, he's wearing a puffy shirt. The super-fun part: one year ago I began injecting myself

so a hysterectomy patient walks out of an elevator...

2011-03-08T20:29:00.001-08:00

Some pretty geese (unlike those awful poop-all-over-the-place Canadian geese). Photo: Wisconsin Week for the Animals. May Rachel Berry strike me dead, but some things even Glee seemingly can't fix. Earlier today I headed down to BigHMO to pick up a note from my oncogynecologist. I'd requested one that states my hysterectomy was medically necessary due to cancer as I plan on petitioning BigHMO

from slactivist to breast cancer resource center volunteer (guest post)

2011-01-20T09:55:00.000-08:00

One of my goals with this site has always been to get people talking about things that are historically "hush-hush" (such as infertility, miscarriages, and the like) in the hopes we can shatter the stigma and openly support each other, both women and men. This is the first in what will hopefully be a series of guest blogs. - Kara From Slactivist to Breast Cancer Resource Center Volunteer by