Big and Beautiful is not all it's cracked up to be

Hard to say Good-bye

2013-11-01T12:45:00.000-05:00

I'll admit it. I love my fat body. Yes I love every ounce and inch of the body I have right now.
I'm learning to accept me today just as I am. I'm not going to beat myself up over what I put into my mouth yesterday because it's over and I can't un-eat anything.
BUT I can work on today and most importantly this very minute.   Every day I have choices to make. I can choose to wear a dress or pants to work. I can choose to curl my hair or let it be straight. I can choose to eat this apple or not. I can choose to open the candy wrapper of the candy bar on my desk or not. All choices are mine and only mine.
Options are great to have don't you think? I like options. I like information too. I've tried to educate myself in the last few months. I've learned about Gluten and what it does to my body. I've had a few nasty run ins with gluten that left me with terrible heartburn brought on by it. Gluten is in just about everything we eat, at least in the processed foods. Fresh foods like fruits and vegetables are gluten free. AMEN!
I've never had heartburn from an apple or an avocado.
I learned I am Gluten Intolerant and have avoided gluten in foods. Unfortunately foods processed without gluten usually have sugar as a main ingredient. Gluten free does not mean taste free, but manufacturers think sugar is necessary to make a food taste better. It's difficult to avoid sugar if something is gluten free and comes from a box on the grocery shelf (frozen foods included).
So what do I do when I don't feel like cooking a meal at home? I've started to just avoid eating. When I do eat, I over eat the processed foods with added sugar. Vicious cycle begins and ends with bad choices.
So, how do I start making better choices? I need to stop saying the word DIET. It's like a dirty word and to most people it means DEPRIVATION. It says I CAN'T HAVE _____. How about saying I'd like to have ____ and the choice is up to me? I like the option of choices. I want to change my relationship with food and eating to a healthy living relationship. I'd like to have the healthy choices become automatic and natural.
Every day I have hundreds of choices to make from what I wear to what I eat.   An alcoholic knows they are one drink away from becoming a drinker again. A drug addict knows they are one drug away from addiction again. So it is with a food addiction. Yes, we need food to live, but we don't need high sugar, high fat and high salt foods to survive. Making healthy choices will help me avoid going back to the sugar, fat and salt addiction I'm living with now.
I'm left questioning whether giving or buying for someone else those foods which I would not choose for myself. Do I enable their unhealthy choices or give them the healthy choices I make for me?
If my friends or family suddenly start getting fruit baskets and gluten free foods from me they will know I LOVE them enough to not give them poisonous foods. I'd like to have my friends and family around longer to enjoy life with me.

Click it into place and let's get this going....

2013-02-06T14:26:00.002-06:00

~~I’ve got all my ducks in a row. I’ve placed all my cards on the table.~~

~~I’ll do it next week.~~

I’ve got this thing!!!!!

No more I’ll start it tomorrow. I’m doing it today. WOW has it been a crazy, exhausting two weeks for me.

I started the WLC (weight loss challenge) and the first week I lost 2 pounds. I was shocked. I just changed how much protein I was eating each day and boom I dropped 2.

I’ll take that and keep right on chewing my protein at every meal.

It’s getting easier to think about what I’m eating and why I should eat it. Every day I make a protein smoothie using my Pro7ein powder and frozen fruit. One scoop is 34 grams of protein. I’m trying to add it in at the end of the day since I’m working out again like I used to do.

I get my Pro7ein from Nutri Shop at The Shops at West End. Here's the link:

https://www.facebook.com/NutriShopMN

I’m training twice a week and loving how I feel. I have more energy and stamina. I’m getting back into shape physically and mentally as well.

My work outs have changed to be more strength and muscle building while my ankle/foot continues to heal. Six months since my surgery and I’m finally walking without a limp.

I've had quite a bit of arthritis pain in my fingers and wrists. It's like a needle being jammed between the joints OUCH! My thumb joints have started to change so when I'm using any hand weights or the machines I feel the sting.

I’ve met some great people too who are in my WLC class. One of the ladies went with me to the gym and I showed her how to work the equipment she didn’t know how to use. It felt good to help someone else out like that. I did 3,000 steps on the treadmill which was huge since my foot has been hurting so much. New shoes made all the difference. I bought Ryka shoes and the fit is amazing.

I fought a few stomach and flu bugs so I was able to take care of my Grandson Riley when he got sick. Poor little guy had been throwing up and was running a fever too. But a few nights with Grandma and he was back to normal a.k.a. chattering endlessly. The next day he started potty training FINALLY. Boy is he one stubborn little guy.

My Pearly Girl is doing so much better. Every day I see her come out of her shell a little more. She is content and knows she’s loved. She sees someone grab her leash and she walks right over to the door to wait.

I'll sleep right here zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Please visit the extremely funny, gorgeous and honest Kristen Johnston at her website. She wrote her own tell all about her journey to hell and back in the book Guts.

http://www.gutsthebook.com/home.html

Out of the BOOT

2013-01-23T14:44:00.000-06:00

After 5 LONG months of wearing that walking boot I am finally done with the thing!
I feel as though I have been set free from a foot prison. No more walking funny. Do you have any idea how out of alignment your hips and back can become from wearing one of those walking boots(cast)? Well, it's a lot.
I began Physical Therapy in December to learn how to walk on my newly screwed and remodeled foot. I have noticed a big difference in how I walk and how it feels a month later. I'll never regret doing PT, but I would never have the foot surgery again. The Arthritis pain I think I can live with now. My hands hurt a lot right now with this cold weather. I just take my pain medicine and go on with my day.
The Rheumatologist suggested I move to Arizona or Florida. I said what about Jamaica and he said that would be fine too just as long as it's a warm climate.
I got myself back on track with Weight Watchers and dropped 3.4 pounds in two weeks. I got very discouraged after being sick with the norovirus and only losing the 1.4 pounds and stopped tracking. Oh boy was that a dumb move on my part.
Tonight I start a new chapter as in a challenge to myself. I signed up for the Community Weight Loss Challenge thru the Hopkins Community Ed program. Runs 1/23/13 to 3/13/13. I hired a Person Trainer again and signed up for two thirty minute sessions a week. The first session with Jessica I felt for 5 days afterward. This will be GREAT!!!
I still can't do more than 10 minutes on the treadmill, but I can use the recumbent bike and elliptical.
Now that all those nasty sick bugs have left my body I can focus on the weight loss and reaching a goal. My goal is to finish all my half started sewing projects. I did successfully finish my Grandson's car seat cover.

I promised a friend I would sew the dress she is wearing for her vow renewal in Jamaica in 70+ days. So that's a lot of sewing to get done, but I can't eat while I sew so that will help me a lot too.
I'm making outfits for myself to wear as well and I would like them in a smaller size.

We have the sweetest little dog, I mentioned her last blog entry after our beloved Captain died.

Pearl is so precious and quite the princess. She was attacked at a dog park almost a month ago. I have never been so scared nor so pissed at a dog owner. We didn't stay to find out who owned the dog, but I will stalk that park until I find that beast.
Pearl only suffered a puncture wound, but she's now too frightened to be at the dog park even in the small dog area.
She made the cutest Christmas dog though.

My challenge to all of you is to find something ANYTHING that you want so badly you just have to have it. Get to your goal and show yourself how strong you can be today!

Terrible week......Turns into Thankfullness

2012-11-16T14:51:00.002-06:00

I'm not moving from this spot!

What an incredibly crap-o-la week? Yes it was. My beloved dog Captain Barbossa died suddenly on Wednesday morning. That dog would lick anything and everything. The chair, the floor, the rug, the air- ANYTHING. But oh how we loved him. Every annoying thing he did made him so loveable. He gave 200% unconditional love to everyone he met. He barked to announce “Mommies home” when he heard the garage door opening. He barked to let us know someone had come to visit. Sometimes he didn’t think we knew and he’d bark the entire time the visitor ~~Bob~~ was there.

Isaak it's not a wig it's all my hair

He let my grandkids pull his hair and he happily ate everything they dropped while eating. He was willing to be that kind of helper and keep my floors clear of food and anything else he could lick off the floor or chairs.

Mommy I got lots of kisses for you

I have never understood the way a dog loves his humans. I watched Captain get stepped on, yet come back for more. I’d get frustrated and yell at him to not keep getting under my feet. Look, a cast with a kneely wheely is not conducive for a tail wagging, four-legged, fuzzy buddy. I just didn’t want to hurt him again, his cry of pain cut right thru to my heart. Yet he always got under my feet because he just had to be near Mommy.

shhh I'm sleeping with my snowman

Now my life feels a bit empty without my “Cappy Tan” to greet me after work. I hear noises and it’s not his cute snoring or his sleeping dreams.

Captain at Ren Fest 2010

Captain Barbossa

We’ve decided to adopt another fur-baby and give another dog a happy home. Pearl is the little Pekingese we spotted last month, but decided to wait on because we didn’t think Captain would like an attention stealer in HIS home. He died so we could give Pearl a fur-ever home of her own. Thank you Captain. She’s younger than Captain was when we got him 3 years ago. Captain was 10 when we adopted him. Pearl is 3 years old so I hope we have 10+ years with her. My Grandkids can grow up with a dog at Grandma and Grandpa’s house now.

I had planned on blogging about my meal plans and such, but after my fuzzy buddy died it all just seemed meaningless. I loved that little dog and he even got my grumpy Father to love him too. My Father just admitted last week that he “loves that little dog” to our friends. He’d never tell us, but we already knew it. Him saying it just brought it home to everyone else.

Pearl

He may be almost 81, but he sure enjoyed every walk he went on with the dogs we’ve adopted. His first question is usually “Can the dog walk on a leash?” We know he’s hooked the first time he snaps the leash on the collar and heads out the door. You see my Father doesn’t walk the dog, the dog walks HIM. The dog dictates where they go and how far they go every time they step out the door!

Rest In Peace Captain and I’ll be seeing you, Simon, Amber, Tucker, Duke, Smokey and Butchy at the Rainbow Bridge.

Give a pet a loving home this Christmas. I promise you won’t regret it!!!

http://www.pncmidwest.org/

http://www.petfinder.com/index.html

Thanks for giving me Turkey in 2010 and for such a great NON fur family!!

Fall into new things

2012-09-19T17:08:00.003-05:00

Lake Minnetonka, Minnesota

As I approach my 53^rd birthday I can look back and see the many changes I’ve gone thru in just the last 10 years.

I once had a very narrow view of life and in the world around me. Now I’m able to view the world with a panoramic vision. I see how A affects B and how B affects C, but not A. I used to have such a one dimensional perspective of how my life impacted or didn’t impact other peoples’ lives. Today I know that my words and actions can have significant impact on people I may never meet in person. The internet has opened me to many more perspectives on world views, politics as well as how I choose to live my life.

I’m inspired by people I’ve met online who are fighting the same battles I am and are winning as well.

My weight loss battle is going slow. Being in this cast has sidelined me and I’m not happy about it at all. I know this is to be expected as I can’t do any real exercising. I’m mainly maintaining my weight. No big gains or losses so I’m learning to live with it. Every journey has a detour on its route. Mine is lasting 3 months, but I will reach my goals taking things one day at a time.

I’m much more conscious of how I’m feeling and what I’m eating than I was 2 months ago. I’m reaching for food when I’m bored, not hungry. So if I’m reaching for foods I’m trying to upgrade my choices from junk to healthy food like fruit or fiber rich snacks. I’m more aware of feeling full and trying to eat slowly. I can always eat more food later if I’m still hungry. I don’t need to gorge myself until I’m feeling so full I’m in pain. I’m putting my fork down and enjoying the taste of the food rather than eating it so fast that I don’t even remember how it tasted. You know how you remember something you once ate and it tasted SO yummy and good you just can’t forget it. The sad thing is when we do eat that food again, our memory might have remembered it tasting much better than it actually tastes. I hate when that happens, but I’m learning to just enjoy the memory and not fight to go find that food again to relive that memorable taste. I’ve been disappointed too many times.

It’s a bit like the memory one might have of a first love. Oh the memories are of this great person and how they made your stomach feel all tingly. As long as we hold on to just the happy memories we’re fine, but once we go deeper and remember the painful moments of that first love and how it ended….. Well maybe it’s just better to leave that in the past as a happy memory and look to your present or future for the REAL love in your life.

I’ve recently had a chance to explore the past and relive some of the more painful memories of growing up. I had people tease me about my weight. Merciless teasing so it got to the point that I dreaded school and thought about ending my life. I never thought anyone would truly love me OPENLY in front of other people. I lived for YEARS hating one guy from school for his constant teasing. I thought of revenge many times, but would never act on it. Why waste my time and energy on a loser like Jeff S.? I have much more to offer than hatred and anger.

I’m much happier in my life today than I was 10 years ago. I was unhappy and miserable. I just wanted someone to love me just the way I was and not try to change me. Love me openly for the whole world to see. God heard my prayers and sent me to Thomas. Thomas needed someone to love him just the way he was too. No trying to change who he is and I love him openly with all my heart. Together we have enjoyed a great journey so far and our journeys continue every day. We live to be with each other not to escape each other. We decided long ago we are TEAM G!

When you’re on the right team the whole world is open before you.

CASTing my cares away

2012-08-31T21:08:00.001-05:00

I'm sporting a lovely baby blue cast on my right foot.

Oh boy I forgot just what this surgery was going to entail for me. No driving, lots of pain and NO independence.

I am happy to report that my weight did go down a little after I got weighed and knew what my weight was post surgery and casted up nicely.

The most surprising thing is I'm not really hungry and attribute that to my lack of burning much energy to move around. I'm not having to refuel my muscles after a workout so there's no need to eat more to offset the muscle rebuilding.

The best part of being home for the last 3 weeks is the time I've spent with my 9 month old Grandson Isaak.

My oldest daughter has been "Old Lady Sitting" me while my Father is at work and my husband is working.

Isaak giggles as soon as he sees me. It's so cute how he smiles and gets excited to see me. I'll be in baby with-drawl once I go back to work and don't see him so much. I play a little game to distract him while Mommy tries to change his diapers, he likes to crawl away while being changed. I grab his foot and blow a razzberry on it. He giggles and grabs his other foot. I grab the other foot and do it to that one and he giggles again. Now I just blow a quick puff of air at his face and he starts laughing. I guess I'm the funny Grandma now.

Being unable to go to the gym to workout has been tough. I miss the endorphins of a good hard workout session. Pulling my kneely wheely up and down the 3 steps in the garage is not a great weight lifting session, but it is an arm workout. I've got to get into a routine of using my hand weights and doing some bed yoga. If I lay down on the floor I'm not getting back up without help. I'm not allowed to put any weight on my right foot until November 10, 2012. That's 9 weeks away. I have caught up on a LOT of missed sleep however.

Before I went in for surgery I got my haircut and had some family time to prepare. I knew this recovery was going to be rough.

When a fellow blogger died a week after my surgery I was stunned. She had just turned 49 that morning. Please go get your heart checked. I'm talking blood pressure, if it's high get on meds!!! If your cholesterol is high get medication for that and work on changing your diet. Less saturated fats and more fresh fruit and vegetables. It's the little things that will help the most. Getting daily exercise is extremely important too.

I'm keeping this short today because it was just 2 weeks ago that Lynn Hudson left this earth to be with God. I wanted to Honor her memory by dedicating my blog to her. God Bless You Lynn and may the Love you poured out on all who knew you be a light to our path to a bright and happy future. I'm blessed to have known you and honored that you promoted my blog so freely. Love and Blessings, Diana

Pretty toe nails with my pretty baby blue cast!!

Lost in............

2012-08-06T13:09:00.000-05:00

Lost in translation! That’s how I’ve felt these last few months. I’ve lost my translation book for weight loss. I started out knowing the language and translating for anyone who would listen.

Look I know how hard it is to stay strong and keep my mouth off the sugary stuff. I’m addicted to FOOD!!!! (I saw this last night and felt it might be something to look into http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18560_162-57481946/is-sugar-toxic/?tag=contentMain;cbsCarousel )

I don’t enjoy being a food addict.

It makes me sad inside and beats up my self esteem every time the addict gets a fix.

Every Saturday I go to my Weight Watchers meeting for my “Accountability time” as I call it on my “foursquare” check ins. http://www.weightwatchers.com/util/mtf/index.aspx

https://foursquare.com/

I need to keep being accountable to myself. I can cheat when I write down what I’m eating, but that dang scale NEVER cheats. It says “Yeah I know you took one bite of that cookie even if you didn’t eat the whole thing at one time”.

A bite here and lick there all adds up as calories even if we don’t log it. It still happened.

I’ve been up and not losing weight in the last few months. I’m not blaming anyone or anything, but me. It’s my fault and I’m taking responsibility for my own weight gain.

This no longer fits me, its TOO big. Husband and I 8/16/08 for my 30 yr reunion

Now don’t get me wrong here, but sometimes when I see someone losing weight faster than me I get embarrassed, I guess it must be that feeling, because I’m happy for them. I love seeing others lose their weight. I know they are gaining heath and their own happiness. I just can’t help but be embarrassed that my own weight loss stalled. All the questions like: “Why can’t I lose it like he/she is losing it?” come into my mind. Well, DUH it’s because that person is not me! Plain and simple they are on their own journey. I hear so many stories at my WW meetings of people just 5-10 pounds from their goal weight and they struggle for months to get there.

To my thinking that last 5-10 should be easy to lose, but those can be the hardest. It got me to thinking of how frustrating weight loss can be for anyone. Some people start out with hundreds of pounds to lose and others have just mere single digit pounds to lose. I think (I do a lot of thinking) that when a person has more pounds to lose say 200, they begin a program like Weight Watchers and begin losing it in 5-10 pound increments. Why do you suppose that is? They get more points than those with say 80 pounds to lose who get a minimum of 30-34 points plus per day. The usual lowest is 29 points plus per day with the extra 49 points plus per week. The extra 49 is what I call the party points. If I go to a party I have extra points for that party to enjoy more points plus for the event.

Me 11/26/09

The weight seems to drip off the person with more to lose than the person with less to lose to reach their goal weight. So my slower loss is nothing to be embarrassed about because it’s my journey.

I can do this. I’ve been working at it for years already and look how far I’ve come. I’m NEVER giving up because this is my journey and I’m seeing it to the very end.

With that stated I’ve got a new battle that begins this Friday, August 10^th, 2012. Foot surgery L I know I need it because the last few weeks has felt like I’m walking on a pin that jabs into my foot at random moments. Getting old sucks big time. Arthritis is not for sissies.

Isaak 8 months old

I’ve got my plans set I just need to get everyone around me on my plan too. I know what I can eat and have begun planning my menu with charts to log what I’ve eaten. Plus I’ll have my oldest daughter to help me out while my husband and father are at work. The best part is my grandson Isaak, who turns 9 months the day of my surgery, will be visiting with Mommy. I get Grandma time while home for 3 ½ weeks. The 3 months of not putting weight on the foot will be tough and the no gym workouts will have its own challenges.

I have my own hand held weights and medicine ball to use so I can workout at home in my own handicapped way. Imagine losing your mobility for 3-6 months i.e; no driving, running, stairs or swimming? That will be very hard for me. I like to be independent and will miss my own autonomy. Being dependent on others is hard for me. I’ll try to do as much on my own as possible.

Now I’d like to mention a few things about “Weight Loss Surgery”

It has been in the news a lot lately. It has its pluses and minuses. For the record in 1980 I had a Gastric Bypass using the 20/80 stapling technique. They stapled the upper portion of my stomach 3/4ths of the way across and left the lower portion intact and attached. I was just weeks shy of my 21^st birthday. I weighed 254 pounds. I wore a size 26/28 and had tried everything short of stapling my mouth shut.

So you see WLS is not a permanent solution. I popped staples, got an ulcer and needed additional surgery in 1985. Plus, I had my gall bladder removed in 1982. I also was more of a guinea pig back then, it was before the “pouch rules” came out. This is the link to everything you need to know post op for bariatric surgery http://bariatrictv.com/

If I were looking into doing and WLS at this time of my life and had not had previous surgery I’d choose Lap Band surgery, but I’m lovin WW and its approach to safe weight loss.

Have you struggled to stay on your own journey? Do you feel frustrated by your slow weight loss? Do you feel empowered to keep on your own journey when you see others being successful as they travel on their journey?

Offer someone an encouraging word today. Let your friend know how much you admire him/her. Give that barista a big smile when he or she hands you your coffee or tea. Everyone needs an “Atta Boy” “Good Job” “Thanks I appreciate that” every now and then. You might be the only person to give any cheerfulness to them today. Go ahead Make Their Day!!

Me and my husband 9/7/09 down many pounds and enjoying the Minnesota Renaissance Festival

What does it mean to live your life with Joy, Purpose, and Conscious Choice?

Far too many of us live lives of worry, rather than lives of joy. It doesn't have to be that way. Every life is full of challenges - some lives are given seemingly insurmountable challenges. But each of us, at every moment, has the ability to make conscious choices about the life we have been dealt. To some extent, we can make positive changes in our circumstances. To a far greater extent, we can choose to accept and adapt to our circumstances with grace and joy. Living joyfully is always a choice.

May today be your day to dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where do I go from here?

2012-05-31T13:58:00.000-05:00

Here I am at the last day of May and only down a total of 41 pounds since 2008.

I was feeling rather discouraged until I remembered I’m not going back to that weight ever again.

I’ve been doing a lot of evaluating about my past attempts at weight loss and can glean from each experience something to use on my journey.

Some days just need a good Vodka and some sewing time!

My Atkins Diet gave me insight into how addictive sugar and some carbs are to me (I’ll keep this about me today and not include other people). Once I eliminated carbs down to 20 grams a day I found that I didn’t crave them anymore. I was able to avoid sugary foods and not be bothered by it.

My Exercise and My Fitness Pal calorie counting taught me about the need to fuel my body before and after a workout. I needed to fuel with the correct foods. Protein and veggies were important for building muscles. My muscles grew and with it my strength improved. Using My Fitness Pal helped me track what I was eating and how much of what I was getting to enjoy a balanced diet. My weight dropped, but the best part was building my muscle strength and stamina.

Weight Watchers helped me control my bingeing and gave me the tools to eat healthy too. I’m able to see what causes me to over eat or emotionally eat my feelings.

So, here I am wondering why this weight is not just melting off my body. I know what I’m doing wrong, I’m eating ha ha. I’m without my e-tools so I’m having to use my memory to help me remember the points plus values of the foods I’m eating that are not Weight Watchers foods. This has been a bit frustrating. I decided to take advantage of the discount my insurance gives for me to be on WW, but I don’t have access to e-tools now. ::sigh:: I know fruits are zero points and so are most vegetables so that parts easy. The hard part is remembering the other stuff I eat. I have to be able to do this without leaning on the e-tools app on my phone. I’m 52 years old and dang it I can do this!

I’ve dealt with my Arthritis and ups and downs of being sick from different bugs I’ve picked up here and there.

My best tool has been WATER, yup good ol’ H2O. I make sure I drink 5- 20 ounce bottles a day. I’m trying to not use Crystal Light packets as much even if they are sugar free I learned they can make you crave sweets. Sun Tea is soooo yummy and refreshing to my palate. I discovered chocolate covered bananas in the frozen food section recently and I.AM.ADDICTED. Only 4 points plus for one of those treats.

Bibs for Isaak

Isaak wearing his Pooh bib

I’ve begun sewing again so that keeps me busy and I can’t eat while sewing, or I should say I choose not to eat while I sew. I drink my water, listen to Pandora on my iPhone and create things.

I find I need to be busy otherwise I just want to graze and that will not help me reach my goals.

I have had so many good things happen lately and I feel so peaceful with my life now. The commercial I was part of making last year just started airing and it’s weird to see myself 30 pounds heavier in them. In fact the shirt I’m wearing is toooo big for me now. I’m keeping it to show myself how far I’ve come in a year.

Here’s the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=kemQd79pNtU#!

Christina 25th birthday dress I made her

I had a blast modeling for C.J. Banks at their Mall of America location a few weeks ago. It showed me I can really do anything I set my mind to doing.

I’m still consistently getting over 7,000 steps a day even when I don’t or can’t go to the gym.

I think I’ll just keep going on this journey and not let myself get side tracked or give up. Giving up is NOT an option!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel sad when I see friends who I love dearly gaining weight or not taking care of their health. This is the only body we get and it’s the only life we get to live. Why not start today to make it the very best for YOURSELF?

I know I can’t lecture anyone else on their weight when I’m over weight myself, but I know I’m trying to get healthier so I’ll just be an example.

My blood work from a Bio metric screening came back and to my surprise and my Doctors it was pretty good. My overall cholesterol was just a bit up, but my good cholesterol was high. The Doctor said “Your hard work at the gym is paying off”. That made my day. It also proved I’m doing the right weight loss plan. I’m taking the weight off slowly and in a healthy way now too. Weight Watchers works for everyone, even those that are diabetic can do it and lose while keeping their blood sugar within the limits the Doctors set.

It’s really up to me and you. I’m in charge of my mouth and my own health. You are too, so why not be healthier for your future?

It really is where we go from this moment forward. I’m going to stay on my weight loss journey and you can come along with me if you’d like. Let’s go, the train is about to leave the station on the next leg of the journey!

Going Down steps is easier than..

going UP. Up works your muscles harder

Who's your best friend?

2012-05-01T13:21:00.002-05:00

Spring has finally sprung!

I’m busy getting my workouts in and perfecting my eating habits. I know how to maintain my weight once I hit my goal weight. I am thrilled that I’ve managed to lose even in small increments.

I’ve concentrated on changing up my workout routine. I think my body has just gotten used to the hour long treadmill time or aquafit class. I mixed it up really good by doing a shorter more intense (intense for me) treadmill warm up. I also did some heavy weight lifting with my arms and the next day my legs got pushed hard. My pecs hurt so much in the days after that upper body workout. I knew I had pushed them pretty hard and it felt good to know I could push myself. I also did a variety of core building exercises. Added more veggies into my diet and poof lost a few pounds. I’m almost back to where I was before I slacked off and gained a few. I still fit nicely in my clothes and was invited back to do another fashion show at CJ Banks. I went in to try on clothes for it. WOW all of the outfits looked amazing on me. I’m adding photos from last year’s fashion show when I was 30 pounds heavier.

My arthritis is getting progressively worse in my hands and now my wrists. It’s so sad, but I know it’s part of the natural aging process. It runs in my family so I have no choice but to just deal with it and move on.

I get so much joy and happiness from my Grandkids as you can see from pictures on my previous blog posts. They keep Grandma Diana young and give me a workout just playing with them. Baby Isaak is 18 pounds of solid boy. I get a good upper body workout just picking him up. I enjoyed chasing Nevaeh and Riley around a little when we went out for lunch.

My friends are all very supportive of my journey and a few have joined me on this journey. I’m thrilled to see more people looking to improve their overall health too.

I keep pushing myself to get over 10,000 steps on my Fitbug. I love this little device. I named it Lexi-bug. Lexi-bug keeps reminding me to keep moving and get those steps in for a healthier future for me. I see myself reaching my goal weight in the beginning of 2014. I had over 100 pounds to lose when I started this journey in 2008. I slacked off for 2 years after losing 50 pounds in 11 months. I managed to put back on almost 40 pounds. I was understandably upset with myself for letting myself backslide like that. I also know I’m an adult and must take responsibility for my own actions or inaction as the case was then. In 2011 I grabbed onto a rope that was tossed to me. A lifeline that had me improving my self-esteem and my health.

Here I am a year later and I feel amazing. I have more stamina and energy to do things that used to be too hard for me to do just 10 months ago. I now eat healthy foods that I actually enjoy and find myself not finishing all of my meal more often. I know that this is the right path for me and a journey that I will keep learning from every step of the way.

Be Happy with Yourself today. Be your own Best Friend! Go look in the mirror and tell that person you see looking back at you “You are a great friend and I love spending time with you every day!”

My Best Friend and Husband Thomas on our 7th Anniversary this year March 23, 2012

Give up or stay Focused

2012-04-12T14:19:00.000-05:00

There are days when I just want to give up and throw in the towel. This week was filled with those types of days, but they had absolutely nothing to do with weight loss.

I’m feeling so frustrated by my Arthritis pain this week. I just wish I could get one day without pain, but I know that’s not going to happen. Arthritis doesn’t give days off from the pain. It just keeps reminding me I’m alive to feel pain. Yup, alive enough to feel it. And just enough pain to remind me not to do too much. I know I need to keep using my joints or lose all use of them. So off to the gym I go and get on the treadmill for my 8,000 steps. I’m enjoying Aquafit classes a little more now that I found an instructor I like. I go twice a week for an hour. I get a good workout too because my face is very red afterward and my knees don’t hurt J

I spent last week concentrating on tracking my foods and eating more fiber. It helped as the scale showed me down, but I just lost the same pounds I lost before. I need to work on losing “new” pounds, so to speak. I’m not giving up on my journey because frankly I’ve come too far to turn around and go back to 267 pounds! Yes, 267 pounds was my highest weight back in January of 2008. It’s taken me 4 years to get to where I am now, but I know it’s a journey. It’s all in the getting there!

My husband has started biking on the bike paths near our home. He’s enjoying going out and people watching while getting different exercise than a treadmill can offer.

I’d love to bike ride too, but don’t think Hopkins is ready to see my arse on a tiny bike seat just yet. I would like to find a recumbent bike though as I feel that would be easier on my knee joints and feet.

I’m preparing myself for foot surgery in August. 3 months of no driving, it’s my right foot so illegal to drive with my left foot. I’m lining up drivers for my trips to and from work. That part will be easy, the hard part will be not going to the gym 5 days a week. I’m putting in an extra effort now so when I’m immobile I can still lose only it won’t be big numbers only like a half a pound a week.

It’s important to be prepared for anything life might throw at me. I enjoyed the Easter holiday with my kids and Grandkids. I love being able to be with my 80 yr old Father for holidays. I know there’s no guarantee he’ll be here for the next one so I try to make the most of each one. The Grandkids hunted for eggs. That was fun for them and for us. I ate my share of junk that day, but got back on plan the next day. I’m making sure I eat the things I really want without depriving myself, but restraining myself just enough. I hope that made sense to you.

Today I am finally grasping how this Weight Watchers plan is truly for the rest of my life not until I reach my goal weight. I’ll be eating on plan from now until I die. This is my way of life. I had no problem living with Atkins when I was on it. I could resist the sugary stuff and carbs just fine. Now, however, I need to find the balance of sugar and carbs to keep my healthy way of life going in a positive direction.

So this leads me to this question….What keeps us focused on the goal and not side tracked by sweet distractions?

Irish Luck? I'm wishing it for you anyway!!

2012-03-16T13:57:00.000-05:00

I love this dress!!

The Luck O’Weigh-in

I’m so thrilled it’s almost St Patrick’s Day. I’m Irish so it’s a lucky day for me and a fun reason to wear GREEN!

I was having some health issues the last two weeks and finally it came to a head and I went to see my Dr. I’m so good at beating up on myself about not being perfect or losing weight every week. I’ve put so much pressure on myself that I started to have anxiety attacks. I was shaking and thought perhaps I had developed diabetes or even pre diabetes.

Oh no it’s just a lil stress and anxiety that’s all. Good Grief that was not quite what I expected to hear, but it beats finding out I’m having a heart attack. My blood pressure is up too so now it’s time to change up things and get back to normal. Or as I like to say Normal for ME!

I had to take a few days off work to take care of me for a change. That was so hard because I love my job and am dedicated to being there.

I definitely needed the days off. I ended up with an extra day because my Father who is 80 had a bad bout with the stomach flu. That scared me badly. I fear losing him, but know he’s not a young man. He is the stoic male who refuses to see a Dr unless it’s for his yearly physical. When he called me to take him to ER I knew he was miserable. My son stepped up and drove him to ER and I met him at the check in desk. Thankfully he is okay and feeling great again. If he drinks his beer after work I know he’s fine.

On to my weigh in. I woke up Wednesday morning, okay it was really Noon. Anyway, I got on the scale to see just what I weighed. I was down from last Saturday so I decided I would go ahead and weigh in to have a good week. No need to beat myself up after starting my new meds. I was down 3.2 pounds so I felt great about it.

I got back into the gym Thursday and Friday. 60 minutes on the treadmill and stretching. I just started reading a very good book, GUTS by Kristen Johnston, the gorgeous lady from 3^rd Rock from the Sun. She has an incredible story to share with everyone. Definitely worth the time to read. You can order it here http://www.gutsthebook.com/

I’ve also been listening to Penn Jillette’s podcast. He’s an atheist which is contrary to my way of believing, but it’s interesting to get someone else’s view point on life too. http://pennsundayschool.com/

I am working on staying positive and saying self esteem boosting words to myself. If I eat something I know is a LOT of points I don’t eat ten of them I try to limit my splurges to one or two. I know I have my weaknesses like potato chips and pizza. I’m trying to stop rewarding myself with food and instead using other things like shopping. Shhh don’t tell my husband that… it’s ok he admitted he doesn’t read my blog. Bad Man!!! Of course today he probably will.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is don’t beat yourself up and set yourself up for failure by having unrealistic expectations. I heard a woman last week say that after 3 years she’s down 123 pounds. 3 years! I was shocked that she didn’t give up on her journey, but OWNED it.

If this takes me 3 years, big deal that means I’m dedicated. Heck just 4 years ago I was 40 pounds heavier than I am today. That’s 10 pounds a year, hmmmm that means it’ll be 8 years until I hit my goal weight? Oh no that is so not going to be the case for me. I’m doubling my efforts to shed this weight sooner rather than later.

Thank You for the feedback on my last blog. It’s good to know everyone struggles and has good and bad weeks. Together we can all make this a journey to become healthier, happier people one pound at a time.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY !!!!!

Me in February 2012

Me in May 2011

Do you see a difference? >>

Cha Cha Cha Changes....

2012-03-06T16:06:00.000-06:00

Don’t go making changes on me… I don’t handle changes well.

I know Weight Watchers was looking at their bottom line $$$$ when they moved the really good motivational leader we’d had to another location over the Christmas holidays. NOT a good move. Many people who were not there when he made his little announcement found out the next week and were PISSED. One week your favorite leader is telling you how to live with WW and Points Plus the rest of your life, the next he’s gone without any warning.

Listen I understand how companies work. I’ve witnessed one too many “down sizings” and “changes”. I just wonder where the commitment is for the people who are spending their money at WW meetings every week/month. I’m going to see/hear him tonight because I have lost all motivation in the last 2 weeks. I’m not caring what I’m eating and I can’t live like this. I can’t gain back what I’ve already lost AGAIN!

I'd even eat this, but it looks so disgusting I just couldn't!! Would YOU eat this?

So now I need to figure out how to accept changes without going off the rails. I’ve got all the tools to do this thing and do it perfectly. Yet I get thrown off the rails by little things. They seem little to most people, but to me they are big things. I just have to cope and not lose my Mojo.

I have so many positives in my life and no room to complain about anything really. I just have these pesky little things getting in my way and throwing me off.

My Arthritis pain has been worse the last two weeks and I’m so scared of becoming dependant on my pain medicine. I know I’m not taking much, but the fear lingers in the back of my mind. I just keep doing my work outs and tread milling like a crazy person. I know I’m not helping my joints any, but good grief I need to keep moving or I’ll just go back to growing into Jabba the Hut. Not who I want to look like.

It’s so hard to see the people who gave up and don’t care anymore. I’m not giving up, which is why I’m willing to drive 14 miles one way in rush hour traffic to hear Randy speak tonight. I am NOT going to weigh in, I’m just going to listen and see if I can talk to him. I like how I’m feeling and the great changes I’m seeing in my body. I can’t like to give up EVER.(Spoken like Nevaeh) I’ve never wanted to be a quitter, but I have quit things before.

My Mom Betty Ann

This last Saturday was the 9th anniversary of my Mother's death and every year at this time I get depressed. You see I was with her when she took her last breath and held her hand as she left this world. I know she wouldn't want me to give up. For YOU Mom I'll keep moving forward.

Christmas maybe 1967? My Mom, me and my Dad

Getting healthier and stronger has been my goal along with losing the weight. I just feel overwhelmed some days and fight the urge to throw in the towel. Do you feel that way ever? How do you get past the urge to quit? What have you found that keeps you going even when the scale doesn’t favor you? Should I throw out my scale and just go to my accountability meeting once a week to find out my weight? How do I get my head back on track?

I’m open to suggestions and will gladly post your feedback if you allow me to. Let’s get this conversation going both ways. I’m not here to just talk/write AT you, but to open up a dialog with other people who struggle with these issues too.

It’s Tuesday and I need to get this figured out before I weigh in Saturday……oh dear this is gonna be a long week.

The Gym

2012-02-28T23:01:00.000-06:00

Some days I go to the gym and wonder who these people are who are there with me.
Who dressed them? Is full hair and make up necessary for working out? Should I match my shoes to my shirt or my shirt to my pants or my ponytail holder?

I've started giving people nicknames. Visor dude is still my favorite guy to watch. I mean come on he matches his visor to his shoes. I don't think he plays for the other team, but I'm married so I don't really care either way. He just looks great for someone with 18 % body fat.

Mr MapleTan is the guy who complimented me on my fortitude. I asked him once if he'd just been someplace warm because of his tan and he said Maple Tan (the tanning salon across the street).

The Dud still works there and is late 90% of the time for his clients. I seriously wonder how he even has clients or a job there still. I guess people will put up with chronic lateness.
I see a lot of lonely older men some sporting wedding bands some not.
The lady I shared a training session with once is still training and she is looking great. Her name is Katherine and we high five each other when we meet at the treadmill.

The Ben Affleck look alike is there everyday and I still haven't told him he looks like Ben.

The Aqua-aerobic ladies have made some comments about how I'm looking when I'm in the locker room. They think my headphones keep me from hearing them. They've said things like "She is looking good, maybe I should get a trainer?" "She used to do water aerobics with us".
MrSkullCap is there with his little cap on and looking bad ass. It's kind of funny to watch him work out. He does muscle building workouts.
CreepyGuy still stares at me or watches me workout on the machines.

The "Girls" as I call the 2 ladies who get side by side eliptical machines and talk the whole time are there every day. They used to talk to Chocolate MrClean, but have stopped for some odd reason. He's a nice man who smiles and nods to others.

The 20-something girls all look the same to me. Ponytail, t-shirt and victoria's secret sweatpants. Oh and smartphones, texting while on treadmill or eliptical machine.
I see the other overweight, middle aged women like me working hard at the machines or training with a trainer. I know they want to tone up and get thinner just like I do. As we age it takes a lot more work to get the layer(s) of fat off.

I had an interesting discussion with my daughter recently. She was upset that her weight had creeped up a few pounds. She said her pants still fit the same though. She kept saying muscle weighs more than fat. So I asked her "Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?" She thought and thought. I think she was stalling knowing it was a trick question. I told her a pound of feathers weighs the same as the pound of bricks. A pound is a pound no matter what it is your weighing.
I think the issue is the perception that muscle weighs more than fat is because of how our weight changes as we build muscle.
Fat tends to take up more space, it likes to spread out and get all fluffy. Muscle tends to be compact and tightens up on itself. So when we think our weight is not changing when we've been working out or weight training it has changed. The fluffy fat is converted to compact muscle. The best way to tell is the tape measure or how your clothes are fitting.

When my clothes got baggy and loose I knew I was losing fat if not pounds. The scale went up last week, but my clothes didn't become tighter. They fit the same as the week before.
I see the changes in my figure too. Many of my friends have noticed the changes too and have mentioned it. I have to admit it does feel good to hear "You're looking great Diana". I have been working very hard to shed this excess weight.
I have a goal to get to and will continue to take it one day at a time until I reach it. As I said on yesterday's blog I will not let one set back cause me to give up EVER!

OOPS....I didn't lose again

2012-02-27T18:07:00.000-06:00

Do the numbers always reflect where we are heading? Or even where we have been?

Friday was my worst weigh in ever! I had planned on weighing in Saturday, but when friends invited us to a fish fry we just had to say yes. We hadn’t seen them in weeks and knew the next few weeks would be very busy for us too. So I knew I had to weigh in on Friday or eat very little for dinner that night and go Saturday like I had planned.

I knew I’d be up because after being sick the week before I was eating like a binge eater. I figured at a few pounds up, I could bounce back from that. I almost started crying when the scale showed me up 5.2 pounds. I was devastated and speechless. I even told the lady who weighed me I was surprised I was up that much because I knew I’d be up some. She told me “But you came and that is what you needed to do”. She was correct I did need to go even when I knew I’d gained. Who would I be kidding if I just avoided the inevitable? Myself that’s who!

What would you have done? Give up? Go eat whatever you wanted? Say to yourself “See you can’t even lose weight without blowing it, why do you even try?” Or would you do like I did and stay for the meeting and vow to not quit?

Really, who would I be if I gave up at the first set back on this journey? I’m not a quitter so that is not an option for me. I knew that I’d had a rough week, but I also knew I could do this Weight Watchers Points Plus Plan and keep losing weight.

I went out for the fish fry and ate until I felt full, which was a surprisingly small amount of food. I enjoyed my meal and even ate some candy. My husband was so sweet and supportive of me that day. He knew I was upset with the weigh in, but he also knew I had to deal with it my way.

And do you know what happened Saturday morning when I got on the scale? I was down 4 of those 5 pounds. I almost went to weigh in right then and there. You see I didn’t let one little set back trash the previous 4 months of my journey. I knew it was a blip on the radar that is my weight loss journey. Giving up or just eating everything in sight would have been so much easier, but so unlike me.

Oh My!!!

I celebrated my sticking to it when my husband and I hosted our Murder Party Saturday night.

How to Host a Murder is a fun game/party. The theme was “Class of ‘54” 5 year reunion. I dressed as a 50’s housewife ala Lucille Ball. I sewed the dress, got my hair pinned up and added the right accessories. You can see from the picture that I had a blast and looked the part.

Life is about enjoying all the moments as well as the journey to reach the destination. As Terri Clark’s song “Getting There” says “You want an answer as soon as you say the prayer, You want to land the moment you’re in the air, Baby the living is all in the getting there” I like that view point because it is so very true the living is all in the journey to get there!

Tom finally found the CAKE...he loves cake!

My Best Friend and I on her 50th birthday, she doesn't look 50..geesh

The 1950's never looked so HOT!

Making my dress was so much fun!!

Setting Goals

2012-02-19T00:33:00.001-06:00

This is what true love looks like.

My goal for 2012 is to hit 199 pounds. I know it doesn't sound like a great goal to some people, but to me it's a HUGE goal. Just getting to change that first number to a 1 will be a dream come true.
Just 4 short years ago I topped out the scales at 267 pounds. The highest weight I had ever been in my life. I was happy and content with the way I looked. People around me never made me feel that I was obese or unlikeable. I tried out for Klondike Kate so I wasn't afraid of being teased or demeaned in anyway because of my size. However, I did long to be healthier. Walking around with all that extra weight was beginning to take a toll on my body.
I began with the Atkins Diet. I focused on no carbohydrates and lots of protein. I kept my carbs at only veggie carbs. Yeah that worked for a while. I got down to 217 pounds. BUT at the cost of my health. I ended up with an Intussusception. It was painful and could have killed me. The Diet didn't cause it, but it did make me resist giving it up just to keep losing the weight.
So my goal was more important than my life at one point. In 2009 I had surgery to repair the intussusception and gave up Atkins. I kept trying to go back to it, but my body rejected it.
Fast forward to 2011 and I'd put the weight back on. I was at 254 pounds in April and miserable. I just wanted to lose the weight once and for all, so the next goal was set. Exercise!!!
I managed to attain that goal by building up my strength and core muscles. Today I feel much better than I did one year ago. My balance is better and I'm not as accident prone.
When I joined Weight Watchers in October I wanted to lose 2 pounds a week. I have since come to see that the journey to 145 is paved with .5 pound losses as well as some gains.
I like my mini goals now. I set my exercise goal at going to the gym to 2-5 times a week and using the treadmill to build up from 30 minutes to 60 minutes.
My first mini goal for weight losses has been the second number changing. I got inspired by my trainer to get the second number to change to keep me focused on the goal.
Since joining WW I've lost 15 pounds, but it's been a journey filled with gains and losses. A LOT of learning went into that 15 pounds. I learned about myself too. I know I can eat this way the rest of my life.
My goal after reaching 145 pounds is to help other obese people know they can get healthy and reach their goals too.
However, the best goal I ever set for myself was to find a man who I could give all my love to who deserved it. In my husband I have finally found my Soul Mate and Best Friend. I think every woman deserves a man who can be her best friend and soul mate too. Never settle!!!

My Soul Mate and My Valentine!!!

I joined ebates and you can too. Just click the link.
http://www.ebates.com/rf.do?referrerid=CIeNMI3A8mhzNhsxHaVh9A%3D%3D

Who Changed the Rulebook?

2012-02-08T13:02:00.000-06:00

How many times have I thought about just giving up and living with this weight? Not as many as you’d think.

I took on this journey to succeed. I want to reach the goal I set. I want the VICTORY of owning my life!

No one sets out to fail at life. I never have, have you? I like winning just as much as the next person. Only in this “game” there is no opposing team, unless you count fat and calories as a team against you. My game is inside my head. I have to fight the messages my mind likes to send to defeat me. I can self sabotage in big or small ways. Maybe it’s a program I grew up learning. My reward for finishing my meal was cake, pie or cookies. Why should I be rewarded for eating my food? Why was there a clean plate club? Is it because parents feel they need to force kids to eat healthy foods? Is it perhaps because food that is healthy is not as tasty as non healthy foods?

If you’re a parent you may remember giving your baby pureed fruits and veggies for the first time. My babies never balked at eating squash or peas. They happily ate whatever Mommy fed them. As they developed more of a taste for foods they started preferring certain foods over others. My kids ate a variety of foods growing up. As the parent who cooked the meals, it was up to me to serve healthy foods. I always had a veggie, meat or protein, starchy veggie and fruit. I struggled some days to come up with something different. I grew just as bored with Hamburger Helper as they did, but it was fast to make and left me time to make a veggie.

As my kids got older they started liking different foods. My oldest daughter would order the “Salad Bar” when we went out to dinner. She loaded her plate with veggies and jell-o. She didn’t eat lots of dressing on her salad, oh no, she liked the pickles and olives. She was my healthy eater. BUT she went thru a phase where she refused to eat meat. She didn’t like the texture of the meat in her mouth. That was rough for me as I kept trying to find what meat she would eat. Eggs became very important. Today she is a Mommy herself and she ate very healthy foods while she was pregnant and while nursing her son. She had her own weight struggles, but she didn’t stress over it. Today I look at her and feel such pride in how she lives her life on her terms and doesn’t let food become an issue for her. What did I do right with her that I can’t do with myself?

My daughter Lizzi and my grand daughter Nevaeh

My Father, husband Thomas, youngest daughter Christina and I

Are we genetically predisposed to eating healthy? I don’t know, but I’m thinking there has to be a gene that draws some of us to eat unhealthy foods. I LOVE fruits, but dang it chocolate just tastes better some days.

So here I am with this food game going on in my mind and I’m on the defensive team fighting to regain control of the ball/mind. Make no mistake, I WILL win this game. This game is mine to win and I have the tools to make that happen. Every day is a new beginning for me and for you. Today I choose to get out of bed and hit the gym. Yeah, that wasn’t easy because Arthritis has just entered MY game and wants to be in on the plays as well. I’ve had to rewrite the rule book and some pages are missing. I’m reworking this plan for my life and have new challenges to face, but I will face them and defeat this enemy that is body fat!

It’s okay to take a day off and reassess your goals and game plan. Sometimes we need to look at what someone else’s play book looks like and copy what is working for them. Other times we need to write our own plays for our game.

Today why don’t we all just make a list of what we know works and what we know failed in the past and learn from those successes and failures? Make a new plan for our success for 2012!!!!

Diana"Me" and my Best Friend CheriAnne

Looking back. What do you see in your rearview mirror?

2012-02-03T12:23:00.000-06:00

As I look at the past year I see so many changes in myself and in the people around me too.

My healthier outlook has been good for my psyche and my relationships. I now view my decisions in a different light. I think beyond just myself. I look at the impact my decisions have on those people around me every day. It’s not just me that is affected by my choices. I can have a positive or negative influence on others. If I choose to bring in a package of cookies or cupcakes, my co-workers then have their own decision to make as to whether to eat it or not. It can be very hard to make a healthy choice if you’re hurried, stressed or tired. I don’t want to be the one who leads someone else to make that decision to eat the cookie at the detriment of their own health.

It’s all about cleaning up the atmosphere of my own environment. Do I need candy at the front desk where I sit every day? No, not really. It leads me into my own temptation and my willpower can become weakened by its presence on my desk. So my choice is clearly not to have that candy dish filled with sugared candy. Sugar free candy can be just as tempting. However, it is less likely to lead to binging.

The second area I’ve been cleaning out is my mind. I find myself sabotaging my good habits with bad thoughts. I know I’m my own worst critic. No one can say anything worse to me than what I say to myself. So why let the negative thoughts take over my happiness? I refuse to give in to those thoughts. I look in the mirror and see how far I’ve come in such a short time. I’ve literally gone from a size 26 to a 20 in less than 12 months. That is an accomplishment I carry with me every day. I hold my head up high and know I’m in control of my life and my choices.

Deciding to hire a personal trainer is one I will never regret. It cost me $3,600, but was worth every cent. Now that I have that tool I am learning about eating and Weight Watchers (WW) is helping me achieve my weight loss goals. Sometimes the sacrifices are hard financially, but worth it in the long run.

I don’t want to come to the end of my life and have regrets about something that I could have changed. I am the one in control of this life of mine and I need to make sure I give myself the very best I can give to me.

I’m careful about words that I use when speaking to others. In the past my words have hurt people and left me feeling awful. I want to leave people feeling good about talking with me and smiling when they walk away. A positive impression goes a long way toward making positive friendships that build people up and help them to achieve all they can in this life.

As Valentine’s Day approaches look around you and see what positive impressions you have left on those people who have come into your life. Even if the person was only in your life for a few minutes, the impression you left can be a positive one as well.

Today I wish you Love, Happiness and above all else Contentment.

Be content to be yourself and become the person you’ve always wanted to be. You are in control of your future, where do you want to be 12 months from today?

Below you can see my journey from a size 26 to a size 20.


December 2010

New Years Eve 2011


Jan. 26, 2011


Christmas 2011


Jan. 12, 2012

This is why I'm doing all this hard work. Baby Isaak deserves a Grandma who can keep up with him.

Movin' Right Along, Livin' My Life, Doin' It My Way

2012-01-23T23:07:00.000-06:00


Nevaeh, Isaak, Grandma (Diana) and Riley 1/14/12

I'm feeling so good mentally. Physically I'm not doing so well. My Arthritis pain, diagnosed 1/12/12, has been tough to deal with on a daily basis. I'm taking pain medicine daily and it helps, but it is NOT what I wanted to use to ease the pain.

It's tough to workout like I had been. No more heavy weight lifting or hard/fast treadmilling for me anymore. I did change my workouts to 60 minutes on the treadmill to get a good cardio workout, but have limited my weight lifting to avoid further injury to my joints.

As soon as my burn is healed I'll get into the pool and do some good pool workouts.

I've done well the last 2 weeks on my weight loss. I struggled over the New Years holiday and put a few pounds back on :-( and that made me mad because I hate to lose the same pounds again.

It's been great to put on clothes and see a very positive change in my figure. I'm down 2-3 dress sizes and 2 pant sizes as well. I'm taking in my pants to put off buying new clothes.

I know this is a journey and I won't wake up a size 10, but I am enjoying the time it takes to reach my goal. I've set mini goals so I feel motivated to reach them one at a time. My Chiropractor always says to me "Inch by inch it's a cinch". I have to agree with him on that one. I'm losing inches and cinching my clothing more and more. The pay offs have been when someone hasn't seen me on a while and they say "You are looking so good". I'm sure it's not just the weight, but I am much happier with my life now than I was 10 years ago. I have so many things to look forward to and so many great friends to share my life with now. My family is behind me 100% and they are becoming more interested in losing weight too. It's nice to see my healthier lifestyle is inspiring those around me to want to do the same. My boss told me just last week that he has started to eat healthier too. Since I'm joining my companies Wellness Counsel I guess my efforts are paying off already. I hope I can help other people to choose a healthy lifestyle that includes better eating with moderation and exercising by just getting out and moving.
What will you do with your journey? You have choices each and every day, Make them wise choices!

I fit into this outfit 1/13/12

2012 A New Year for a New ME!

2012-01-03T23:38:00.000-06:00

New Years Eve 2011 Diana and Thomas

I rang in 2012 with a weight loss. I'm down 11.4 pounds since joining Weight Watchers in October. Down 42 pounds since I hit my heaviest in 2008.

I'm happy that I got thru the holidays without packing on pounds. I did enjoy the sweet treats as well as healthy foods.

I did a lot of "Oh My Gosh it fits me" dances when trying on clothes. I've gone down 2-3 dress sizes since May 2011.

I'm committed to my workout routine and my healthy eating plan.

I've even started to inspire other people to embrace a healthier lifestyle. Eating with more awareness of what types of foods we eat and what they do to our bodies in a positive way or negative way.

The main foods we should all eat are fruits, vegetables and protein. Proteins can come from more than meats and fish. I know vegetarians get their protein from tofu as well as legumes. Also, quinoa is anther good source of protein.

Making better choices when going out to eat is very important. I know I'd rather have a deep fried piece of chicken over a broiled or grilled piece. However, I like taking pressure off my joints by reducing my weight a little more each week. I struggle with the temptation to eat the "bad stuff" versus the "good stuff" every single day.

I'm now struggling with a flare up of my arthritis. Osteoarthritis is very painful and has been stopping me in my tracks these last few weeks. It was bad enough before, but lately it has gotten much worse. I almost cry when the now familiar needle pricking feeling hits a joint. The worst has been in my hands the last 4 days. I really try to "suck it up buttercup" and not let it bother me, but it's just not letting up on me. It is just getting worse.

Now my problem is HOW do I keep doing my workouts when my knee hurts along with my foot and hands?
I know I have to fight thru it, but then again I'm only hurting my joints more by making them rub bone on bone. UGH!!!!

I need a new swimsuit so I can go do pool workouts now. The only swimsuit I own is 2 sizes too big and you know how the water make them bigger anyway. I do look quite funny with my droopy butt suit on and my straps sliding off every time my arms go down. I can't be flashing the whole gym when I do my jumping jacks in the pool. Oh dear!

I detest the aqua aerobics classes at LA Fitness. They are boring and not fun for me. I'll be bringing my iPod speakers so I can do my own workout with GOOD music. Ha ha take that song Mr. LapSwimmer!

Now how would you handle this change of plans? Would you throw in the towel and give up or whine about it to anyone who would listen?
Or maybe you'd suck it up and keep at it because there really is no going backward on this journey that is life!!!

I can't complain too much after all I do have a lot of good stuff happening in my life right now. My Grandkidlets are getting SO big and are the Lights of my life.

My family this Christmas from left to right My Dad Curt, Lizzi with Isaak, Christy, Riley, Diana, David and Nevaeh

Happy Holidays?? No Ho-ho's or Ding-dongs or...

2011-12-19T21:24:00.000-06:00

It’s nearly Christmas, my all time favorite holiday. My past Christmases were not that great. Lots of holiday hype on how perfect the holidays should be for everyone. Especially with a perfect family, perfect decorations, perfect friends and perfect gifts. Let’s not forget the perfectly cooked foods we have come to associate with Christmas.

Diana and Tom 12-10-11

I’ve had so many emotional upheavals at this time of year growing up that I know all about emotional eating. I get upset because something happens and I go dull the emotional pain with a cookie or ten.

I’m vowing this year to not set myself up for emotional overeating.

I’m not stressing about getting this done or that done on time or to perfection. If the cookies don’t get baked until Christmas Eve day, big deal, so what, who cares! If I forget a side dish, we’ll eat it the next day. If one of my beloved family members decides to act like a 2 yr old and throw a tantrum, I won’t get involved in their meltdown. That person can look foolish without my Motherly guidance.

I no longer stress about how many gifts each person gets to open. I’m putting lots of little stuff into one bag and that way no one can feel left out.

Foods……ahh how I love my holiday foods. Cookies, candy, pies, potatoes and spiral sliced ham. How could I ever get thru a family holiday without them? I won’t eliminate them completely, however, I will eat them in MODERATION!!!!!!!!!

A small taste of my favorites without the guilt of having eaten a dozen cookies before lunch. Or that whole bowl full of “Puppy Chow”, even if it was only a small bowl full. I’ll do it with an eye on my goal.

Riley and Nevaeh tell Santa their wish lists

My goal currently is to survive Christmas and New Years Eve without gaining any weight back.

My last weigh in I was at 226.0. I haven’t been at this weight in over 2 years, when I turned 50. I’ve got my eye on 219 now so I’m trying to be mindful of the foods I’m putting into my mouth. It’s not easy when my 80 yr old father buys a bag of Hershey Treasures w/ caramel inside. He placed them in the bowl on the dining room table so they call out to me every time I walk by. I’ve silenced at least a dozen already! Teach those little buggers to talk to me when I’m tired.

I set out to complete some mini tasks this week to keep my mind off food and on being productive.
I just want everyone I know to have a healthy happy Holiday Season. After all the new year is coming and with it comes all sorts of new choices for EVERYONE.
What are the choices you want to make? Are you struggling with making a commitment? What do you have to lose if you just do it? Just make the commitment and change things in your life. You deserve the best life you can give yourself!!!
Let's bid adieu to 2011 and all it's bad choices. Say CHEERS to 2012 and all it's possibilities!!

Grandma holding Isaak, we call him a baby burrito

Sugar cookies....................

2011-11-29T21:37:00.001-06:00

Now that I have your attention. . . .

Do you see the Holiday season as one big sugar cookie bake shop? I do! I love cookies. Every year it starts like this.

We start baking sweet treats and then try to avoid putting them into our mouths. What the heck? This amounts to self torture. However, I enjoy baking cookies at this time of year. It gets me into the spirit of the season and I give them away. This will be my 31st year of making cookies for my family. Frankly, I'm kinda sick of them. I may eat a few, but not like I did last year. I was addicted to the way they would melt in my mouth. This year I think of eating them as pouring sugar straight into my mouth....ewwww.

The sugar in my life now is my Grandchildren.

Riley 2 1/2, Isaak 16 days and Nevaeh 4 1/2. My Grandkidlets!!

I'm focused on losing this weight and being healthy for these 3 precious Grandchildren.

They deserve a healthy active Grandma to play with them and chase them around.

I'm 2 tenths from my first ten pound weight loss on Weight Watchers. I'm happy with my progress and how on track I've been able to stay.

Saturday I'll see if I've made that goal.

Tonight I tried on more pants I had in the "smaller pants box" and 3 more pairs fit. I did the "Oh My Gosh they finally fit" dance.

These little victories mean so much to me, you just have no idea. Well, maybe you do. You've read this far so maybe you know how good it feels to beat an addiction, be it food, alcohol, drugs or gaming. Whatever you may find yourself addicted to it is nice to know other people can relate and will be there for you as you try your best to beat it once and for all. It's not easy and it sure isn't fun. I'm finding a way to add fun to this process. Like making up names or stories about who I see at the gym and why they are there. I get on the treadmill and "walk out" to my music. I try not to do things that will make people report me for being weird while on the treadmill.

I love how my trainer got me to a point where I can now go to the gym on my own and do my own workout.

I'm working my way thru this maze that is my life. One day at a time and one meal at a time.

Are you on this journey too? I'd love to hear how your doing and if you have ideas for how to make this more fun.
Oh I forgot to share this in my original post so here I am editing it now. My WW leader uttered the words I mentioned a few months back, "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels" Now I know it's a WW catch phrase. I still don't agree with it. I enjoyed every bit of that kit kat bar I ate tonight. AND My thighs are still shrinking :-)

Holding this little one gives me less time to eat.


Dear Santa......

Putting all the pieces together

2011-11-15T21:04:00.000-06:00

I've had 4 weeks to figure out this Weight Watchers Points Plus. I'm on track and losing like I planned. 2 pounds a week is my goal. I've had my own little issues with this though.

I want to lose the weight so badly it's scary sometimes. I know I can do it, but I find myself trying to sabotage my progress. WHY??? Why would I do that? Am I afraid of being healthier or thinner? I know I'm terrified of how my skin will hang after these 80 pounds are gone. If you've seen a pair of panty hose after they've been worn you know what I mean when I say "Will my skin look like that too?" Well the answer is YES! I see the skin already starting to hang a bit more, granted it's not as much, but still it hangs. I'll look like a shar pei all wrinkled and having hanging skin. My arms already look like they have wings. When I wave now my arms keep waving, even after I've stopped. My arms have big muscles that you can see when I flex them, but there is that flap of skin hanging all droopy down below it. I do have to laugh at the things I do in front of a full length mirror when I'm alone. I wiggle and jiggle all my loose skin. I'm trying to get an act together for the next America's Got Talent. There could be a category for Jiggling and Juggling while dancing to Rihanna.

I go to the gym every week for an hour or more. I go 4-6 times a week. I felt like a slug by Saturday this last week because I hadn't gone Thursday or Friday. I did have a valid excuse. My Grandson was born at 12:18 p.m. on 11-10-11. I was there and got to help my daughter give birth. An amazing experience and one that I will never forget. My daughter handled that labor and delivery with barely a whimper. She was in pain, but she never yelled. She did say she hoped it was a boy because she really didn't want to have another baby, EVER.

I was running on adrenalin and pure energy by Friday night. Saturday we got them home and I took a 2 hour nap. My husband had to go out of town again for work so I went to the gym.
I can't be that into self sabotage if I'm going to the gym and doing 200+ calories on the treadmill and then doing another 30 minutes of weight machines and crunches.
I had been finding myself SO hungry in the evenings the last two days. I deduced it was because I'd get up at 7 a.m., have my cup of coffee and then go to the gym. I'd wait about an hour before eating after I got home from my hour at the gym. My poor body was starving for food and it was going to make sure I fed it too.
Today, I got back on track. I had my coffee as usual, but when I got home I sat down to a nice protein fueled breakfast THEN I took my shower. I blended up a fruit smoothie to drink on the way to work.
I felt much better this morning.
Okay now to explain how this WW (weight watchers) works for ME. You can't follow my plan because it may not work for you. I like how they give me the points I need to have each day and then let me find my own foods to eat. They have suggestions, but I can find foods to eat at any restaurant I go to.
I can eat any fruit because they have 0 points. However, I'm not supposed to eat 12 bananas for breakfast, for example. I've found WW english muffins and WW yogurts are yummy and low in points. I try to eat an apple every day along with a banana. I make frozen fruit smoothies. I only use fruit without added sugar and I'll add vitamin water or coffee to help it blend up better. I LOVE those smoothies. I'll find a way to add veggies to them some day. I find spinach is too green and I get pieces of it in my teeth. That doesn't look so nice when I smile, I'm a receptionist so I can't have green bits in my teeth.
Lunch is a WW frozen meal. It's quick and easy. Snacks are usually hummus and WW dijon pretzels. String cheese, a progresso light soup with most of the juice drained off makes a filling snack with lots of veggies. I've bought the WW snacks and some of them I really like, but find myself using those as my points instead of real food like proteins that my body needs so badly when I work out like I have been doing.
Every day is my new beginning. I can start over again and do the day better, maybe by not eating candy or getting a little more sleep or even taking time to just hold a baby while he sleeps.
Babies don't care what your weight is or how many wrinkles you have on your face or body :-)

Yesterday I was at the gym and was doing my after workout stretching. I noticed a young woman waiting by the trainers desk. I assumed she was waiting for the DUD (the trainer I had "fired" in April) . I see her talking to another trainer and then she's making a phone call. I hear her talking to DUD and listening to his lame excuse about how his phone was set on vibrate and he didn't hear it to wake up.   I watched her go upstairs to get on a treadmill, bike or elliptical machine. I debated, should I go tell her about my experience with DUD or not. How would it have been for me if someone had spared me weeks of his lateness and lame excuses by telling me what his work ethic was? I would have had those sessions with a trainer who showed up on time and truly cared enough about my gym time to invest in me 100% sooner. You know what I did!!
I walked upstairs and found her. I told her that she should find another trainer, preferably a female, who would be on time and not give excuses for being late. She told me this was the first time, I told her that if it keeps happening then find a different one. I told her that she can do this and she can succeed. She shared with me that she is a Mom of 3 children all under 5. I hope she takes my advice because today I overheard the DUD telling his client how he'd gone to see Guns N Roses Sunday night. I read in the paper that the concert ended at 2 a.m. Gee I wonder why he didn't wake up on time? LIAR!!   I'm so done with the liars like him. I lost any ounce of respect I had left for him in that instant.
I'm happier now than I have been in years. I have my life under control and I have my goals in sight now.
I can achieve successful weight loss. AND I don't have to suffer through lying trainers who only care about themselves and not their clients. Christine, I miss seeing you at the gym when I go now. I miss you waving at me when you'd spot me on the tread mill before our workout sessions. Nothing beats a trainer who truly cares about how the client succeeds after the paid sessions have ended. Thank You for caring about my future success.

Isaak Thomas- 9 pounds 2 ounces 22 inches born on 11/10/11

Making Progress

2011-11-01T23:20:00.000-05:00

Yup, we are Vikings fans. I like my "Breast Cancer Awareness" Vikings pink shirt.

I feel so in control of myself and my eating.
I'm now more than two weeks without a trainer to push me thru my workouts.
I go on my own and do my treadmill time. I'm up to 50 minutes on the treadmill and two plus miles. I'm seeing 10,000 plus steps on my "fitbug" pedometer.
I joined Weight Watchers 2 1/2 weeks ago and have lost 3.6 pounds. I'm not even freaking out about not losing more. I want to lose it slow and steady. I'm fine with the "Points Plus" and how the whole program works.
I know I won't be going back to Atkin's. I enjoyed Atkin's, but because of the intussusception my body can't do it.
Feeling like I can do this and succeed in getting fit and healthy has given me confidence.
I get so many compliments on how I look that my confidence is growing stronger.
I know I can do whatever I set my sights on. I have even started setting up goals for other things besides weight loss.
I have a new Grandbaby due any day now. I get to be the birth coach for my daughter. I have the honor of seeing my grandchild being born and holding him/her for the first time within minutes of the birth. I want to be around for this baby. I want to be able to keep up with all that energy and not tire out.
I'm enjoying my Calligraphy class. It's fun to try new things and explore other activities. Who knows what talents I have kept hidden behind a veil of food and fat.
I'm open to new adventures with my husband. We have plans for the next year that include me walking a LOT to explore. I am driven to get to my goal weight and even be able to ride a bike again.
Does this make sense to you? Do you have your goals hanging out there almost taunting you to reach them? Come on let's reach a goal before the end of the year. 60 days to a new goal? Sure why not..... Pick a goal and plan out how you can make the steps to achieve it. Contact me if you want someone to share your goal with or just offer encouragement. Follow me on twitter http://twitter.com/DesignerNails

Halloween Party. My inner Goddess came out.

Getting on the right track

2011-10-16T14:24:00.000-05:00

I've struggled with my weight issues for so much of my life it feels like a bad relationship that I can't get out of.....
So as I ended my paid training sessions with my EXCELLENT trainer Christine I knew I needed to get my next "area" figured out. I know me so well and know I needed a plan that would keep me accountable and be easy to follow. I joined Weight Watchers yesterday. The Points Plus Plan is something I know I can do and follow without problems. The only problem will be MY willpower to resist the empty calorie foods.
This morning I got up early and was at the gym by 8 a.m. and worked out like a crazy person. I did 30 minutes on the treadmill at 3.0 speed. It felt good to get in over 4000 steps just on that treadmill. I opened up my workout log and picked the machines I wanted to do and did my sets and reps. 30 minutes later I was BEAT, I had over 5000 steps on my fit bug and felt like I had just run a marathon. I'm feeling pretty good about doing this without my trainer. I have the tools to do this working out on my own. Using WW will help me with the next tool I need to get this weight off.
I was not happy about the arthritis in my foot hurting and feeling like a hot poker jammed in my foot. I am just going to workout thru the pain and then talk to my Dr tomorrow at my physical about how I can deal with the pain. I will HAVE to get another injection of steroids to alleviate the pain in these joints.
I'm content with my life. I have a man who loves me beyond all comprehension and family who is there for me. Friends more numerous than I can count, who show me love and support in all things that I do. I am Grateful to a God who loves me unconditionally and sends wonderful people into my life to touch me in ways that only HE knows why.
My blessings are many and my regrets are few. THAT is how a life should be lived.
Go get on your RIGHT track.....there's no time like today to start your new beginning!!

Even BK wants us Happy.....

Fall has arrived

2011-09-26T22:46:00.000-05:00

The smells of fall and the sounds of it fill the air now. The leaves are beginning to change and with it we move into another season.

Life is a lot like seasons changing. We move from one season in our lives to the next. I just turned 52 and feel like a new season started for me. I find myself thinking of life changes I have experienced. I survived Motherhood, the terrible teens years of my 3 kids and becoming a Grandma. Menopause provided many interesting sensations and some not so fun side effects.

I am ready for this new season of my life. The season of becoming healthy and happier within my own skin. I enjoy more things than I did when I was 30 or 40. I find trying new things is not so scary after all. I'm taking a new interest in lifting burdens from my life. Just letting go of old negatives and photos felt so good. No one wanted them, but here I sat moving them around from home to home over 30 years. I finally knew I was getting no joy or value from those items.

Letting go never felt as good as it did last week when I threw away lots of clutter. Why keep things in my life that don't add value or serve a good purpose? If I find I need that basket after all, I can replace it for less than $10.00. I freed up space for something I do value, my pictures of my Grandbabies!!

Getting rid of that clutter seemed to help me let go of some other clutter in my head. I no longer think about that pile of magazines I should go thru because they are all GONE!

I thought about that pile EVERY flippin' day. I saw it when I walked in that room, it silently called to me to say "Hi, hey, how's it going? You wanna just take a peek at me and maybe make a decision about letting me stay here? I could go sit some other place, maybe across the room on that table?" Seriously, why did I let that pile of magazines talk to me? I felt guilty for not dealing with it, but couldn't bring myself to just deal with it. That was a waste of good thinking time.

Now I think about the new community education class I'm taking next week. I'm DOING something instead of thinking about it.

All this season changing makes me want to keep making my positive changes. There is NO going back now.

What do you feel needs to change in your life? Are you brave enough to throw out the clutter that is holding you back? Letting go of that mind clutter might just be the peace of mind we all hear so much about!

Lake Minnetonka 9/26/11 Leaves are changing!!