3m05s Good to start laughing on “didn’t make it” makes it less harsh

3m15s Great improvised bit

3m57s Nice call back to improvised stuff

5m26s Good job “reacting” to the one audible “hmm”

7m48s Not a bad line to put in, “now that we’re all friends, let’s do some therapy”

10m07s More emphasis on “real”

10m56s Stepped on the laugh a little, but I was trying to finish before all the checks get dropped

Overall: Great set. My material hit really strong and I improvised and played with the crowd. The birthday stuff at the end was a little too heavy/sad at times, I should play with way to make it funnier and less sad.

0m22s Nice going straight into crowd work

3m58s I did four straight minutes before going into material, I feel that’s a new record for me

4m44s Look up higher and don’t tilt head down while doing the confused face

5m34s Could’ve made fun of the guys lack of answer after his friend gave a good answer instead

6m20s Could’ve asked more info about the late people

7m10s Could’ve made up some stuff about what he was texting

10m19s Give it another half beat after “they’re not all drunks”

11m44s Go into the need therapy in a funnier way, or keep asking her about the most messed up cases

13m24s Don’t say “that one’s for me” 3 times in one set

14m22s Try to rephrase “then I turns into, oh I wanna be independent, but together”

Doing time between comics

0m20s Pause between each of her words as it’s supposed to be a little kid

0m52s Sell the “oh it’s okay” stronger

1m34s Say “I can’t get married either” first or something, it’s weird where I went into the joke

3m24s Don’t stumble on the words, but at least I acknowledged it

5m23s Hit “emergency” more sarcastically

Overall: Great job with the crowd work up front and not forcing material. The response to material was up and down but I did a good job as host getting to know the audience, being friendly, high energy and interacting with them.

2m54s Change delivery between “aisle” and “baggage check”

7m21s Don’t go up on “contract year”

Overall: Low consistent laughs throughout.

1. You write for other performers. What kind of technological changes have occurred in the process from when you started out in comedy to now?

Oh, it’s awesome  My jokes get stolen much more quickly now.  Just in time to still be fresh for one particular network late-night talk show.  Thanks for asking.  No, but, that aside, the methods of getting the jokes to people quickly, like by texting, has been helpful.  Comics hate getting new jokes over the fax machine in the green room while the other comedians are hangin’.

2. Are you able to find more clients due to the web?

The web has undoubtedly helped me to get more clients.  The exposure of my jokes on Facebook, in particular, has afforded me some incredibly high-up connections and clients.  Key people who would not otherwise be seeing my material are definitely seeing it now, and some are acting on it.  Well, if you call vomiting “acting”. No, really.  And I find Facebook to be much more beneficial than Twitter. People are obsessed with the number of Twitter followers they have, but 99.9% of those followers can’t do much of anything for you.  The difference, in my opinion,  is that the bar for being followed by someone influential on Twitter seems much higher than the bar for that very same person to friend you on Facebook.  I interact and have definitely benefitted from influential comedy people on Facebook, but practically never on Twitter.

3. Is it easier to work for international clients with Skype?

Well, I don’t have any international clients, but that’s not a bad idea, like, maybe to trick foreign comics into buying my Montreal Expos jokes.  Thanks.

4. Some comedians who get help with their jokes don’t want that fact well known. Has the internet made this harder to hide?

The internet per se doesn’t have anything to do with making this harder to hide.  What makes it very hard to hide is having a big mouth, just like it’s always been.

5. How do you protect your client’s privacy?

The real issue is how does the need to be professional win out over the desire to get creative recognition.  Well, one factor is that I’ve become more confident in my ability to write jokes over the past few years, so I don’t need to keep convincing myself of that any more.  I’ve also accepted the fact that I’m not the star of these projects, but still get satisfaction in knowing that there would be no star at all if the material was no good.  So I no longer feel the need for people to know that I’ve written a particular line.  Also, when people whom you respect use your stuff, and even tell their comic friends about you, and then they even use your material, it gives you even more confidence. Like for instance, last week, I was down in Florida for a big show, and afterwards we were all hanging out and a very well known comic who’d never met before just nonchalantly asked me if I could write a better punch line for a joke she’d done that night.  She’d heard about me from one of the other comedians on the bill.  So, in general, confidence-builders have taught me to keep quiet.  This issue of using writers and how to deal with it can actually be a double-edged sword for comedians. To some people, having a writer is actually a status symbol, first because most comedians can’t afford to use one, (or think they can’t), so it could be perceived as “having arrived”.  Also, if it’s a roast or award show, or for instance, or for a Conan or Leno, writing all the material can seen as being “below” that person.  And so that leads to guys proclaiming that, “I have the best writers”.  In other words, “not only am I funnier than you, but I can also select better writing talent than you can, and have that talent join my team, rather than yours.”

6. Tell me about your Stage Time magazine column.

Well, I founded and I’ve been writing a 1-liner monologue joke column I call “Monoblogue” for a few years. I saw a need and the editor went for it. I mean, it’s a comedy magazine for standup comedians that didn’t have any jokes. Leighann Lord has a column in there too called “The Urban Erma” (after Erma Bombeck), but her stuff is well thought-out and with sophisticated vocabulary, not like the throwaway one-off shit that I write.  But I think the general teaching point is to find a need that hasn’t been met. The Stage Time experience actually reminds of when I used to read a journal aimed at pharmaceutical representatives.  It showed them all sorts of ways to convince doctors to prescribe their products.  But the only thing the journal didn’t have was a column by a doctor.  So I pitched it, saying it needs a feature from the customer’s point of view.  They agreed, and I wrote their “Doctor’s World” column for a few years. (Neil is also an M.D.).

7. Do you see all magazines becoming online only?

Of course, as soon as a sufficient number of people who insist on holding paper in their bony, veiny, liver-spotted hands finally die.

8. You’re a writer for The John Kerwin Show. How did that come about?

We’re broadcast on a network called JLTV and we’re seen nationally on Directv, Comcast; and many of the other big carriers. And to prove my point from before, John “liked” some of my jokes on Facebook, so I decided to message him, and flat out told him that I should be writing for his show.  A few months later, former Johnny Carson writer Tony DeSena left the show, so John hired me. I write it with Marv Silbermintz, a 17- year Leno/Tonight Show writer, and Ken Burmeister, a really funny New York City comedian/writer/actor from the Mike Bochetti camp,  whom I brought on board. I’m very proud of this show; you could hand any of our monologues to Letterman or Fallon or any of them, and I guarantee you that you wouldn’t feel any drop off. And we’re just four guys with probably 1/000 the budget of the big network shows. Leno’s actually very aware of us and has been quite encouraging.  We also draw very well known guests. The tenacity of John Kerwin should be an encouraging example to anyone trying to make it in this business.  He’s a total professional and well-focused on our goal.  We’re actually filming our hundredth show later this month.

9. Is the goal to get picked up by a bigger network?

Yes, that’s being very actively addressed.

10. Where do you see the future of online comedy videos?

I think the cream eventually rises to the top, regardless of medium.  It does make the skill set needed to succeed much more complicated and diversified, though.  It’s not enough to just be funny any more. You have to do your own promotion and become proficient at all the technology.  But at least with the Internet, virtually anyone with a camera and a dream can theoretically make a video that’ll go viral. Or at least fungal.

11. How are you using the internet/social media to promote your career?

Well, besides Facebook, and to a smaller extent, Twitter, I’ve put up a website to promote my writing and punch up services: www.NeilBerlinerComedy.com I spend a few hours a day on Facebook and various news outlet sites.  I’m basically thinking of writing jokes almost constantly.

12. Have you noticed the payoff yet?

Yes, I actually have a waiting list. I had to tell a few people that I couldn’t immediately take them on.  One guy was kind of shocked, he asked me if it was the first time I’d “rejected” anybody!

13. How much information do you tend to share on social networks?

I don’t post stuff about my family, or bank passwords, if that’s what you mean.  But I’ll put up jokes all day. Jokes on the net are publicity tools; they’re just throw-aways with a two day shelf life anyway.  So what do I care if some open-mic kid uses them, if they also happen to be seen by someone who can actually help me?  I know I mentioned having my jokes lifted by one of the major players, but that’s different, because it’s been ongoing and uncompensated, not to mention unappreciated.

14. What do you think of stand up comics posting their videos online?

I’d recommend short clips or even single jokes to accomplish what I just mentioned.  And only your top stuff. If you’re not sure if it’s funny, then it’s not.

15. What’s your weirdest online experience involving your comedy career?

Having my old, thick, awful rug pulled off my head on a Howard Stern TV event, and then seeing it posted on the web.  I know, with this state-of-the-art completely natural looking new one, you couldn’t tell at all.

“The incident showed the cocksure feeling a comic had to have. Without it, he was a goner. An audience sensed fear. So comics made themselves larger than life.” (40)

“Lenny had the reputation for relying on his own wit. He was prolific, heeding what old pal Georgie Starr later prescribed as the only way for a comic: You’ve got to fuck and suck it and eat it night and day. Work on the material. Work on it. Work on it.” (79)

“Bruce took the chances. He was not afraid to fall flat on his arse with new material. There were those that saw him go gurgling down the drain one night and make thunder the next.” (86)

“Phil Leeds was a lovable little fellow who all comics loved. Never a major comic. And that’s why they all love him. Because comics love people who aren’t successful. That’s how they judge a good comic.” (98)

“Sometimes Klein would get a sly smile, as if a phrase had just occurred to him. It made whatever followed feel spontaneous.” (247)

“Confidence is experience. You cannot have true confidence on a stage in front of strangers without experience.” (392)

“Steve Martin got so big he couldn’t experiment. And he absolutely hated himself.” (401)

“For Kaufman, the idea was to provoke reaction, and nothing pleased him more than when his concepts triggered anger, confusion or even boredom, particularly when comic intentions appeared to be entangled in sticky reality.” (402)

“Kaufman saw how fantastic it was to have everybody hate him – what theater it was.” (407)

“Branch Rickey used to say, “Luck is the residue of design.”” (417)

““In a cabaret,” says Rollins, “if an audience can sense the personality underlying the comic – if they can make contact with that personality, they’ll enjoy him more. Even if the material is not that strong.” (423)

“The idea that comic success did not equate strictly to laughs was a lesson Brezner had learned from Rollins several years before.” (424)

“Jack said, “Lad, it’s not what you do on the stage that counts, it’s what’s on the stage when you’ve left.” Meaning, there are comics who make you laugh, and twenty-five minutes after, you’re left with nothing. Woody Allen didn’t give you huge laughs, but when he finished his last line, he’d taken on a persona over and above what he had done on stage.” (424)

“Robin Williams didn’t realize the potentially touching nature of the character. We convinced him at the end of his act to have the character say two or three funny things and then play the character for real. Told him not to worry if he gets laughs. Let the character talk about the foolishness of mankind. And then take the quiet moment and walk offstage. We felt that after forty-five minutes of hysteria… do this and he’d elevate himself to an energetic freethinking comic, and one who could act as well… and I tell you, when he took the quiet moment and walked offstage without a laugh, the applause was deafening. You know, sitting in the audience, you’d just seen something special. He’d touched you. He left something on stage for you.” (425)

As always, if you liked the quotes, click here to buy the full book.

I can’t recommend this book enough if you’re at all interested in stand up comedy. Below are the quotes I found most interesting. Since part of this book is in interview format, I put in bold the person being quoted above their quotes.

Franklyn Ajaye Quotes:

“You must study their deliveries, their use of their bodies, their timing, and their use of audio and vocal effects.” (3)

“An aspiring comedian must be determined to get to his or her true feelings on a subject and convey that to the audience. Figure out what you’re feeling or interested in because the goal is to get the audience interested in what you’re interested in. Good stand up comedy is drawing people into your head.” (11)

“Originality is never embraced as quickly as the commonplace.” (12)

“Don’t try to give a funny opinion; give your opinion in a way that will be funny.” (12)

“When you take a pause before delivering your punch line, you will be using silence as a creative entity in itself.” (14)

“You must not be afraid of small bits of silence. To use it well is the height of confidence and skill for a comedian. It increases the tension in a good way and adds contrast like a curveball complements the fastball of a good pitcher.” (14)

“You can’t wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join in before you go on to the next one.” (15)

“Walking back and forth also helps by creating the illusion that you are thinking of the routines on the spot, giving your performance a more spontaneous feeling.” (15)

“Ideally, you want to be in a fifty-fifty power-sharing arrangement with the audience – both of you are there for a mutually enjoyable experience.” (17)

“Obviously the audience has veto power signified by whether they laugh or not, but you-not them-retain the ultimate power to decide what they’re going to get the opportunity to laugh at.” (18)

“A technique I developed quite naturally to help me make smooth transitions was to use a word or phrase from the next routine in the preceding one.” (18)

“Being a professional comedian is doing it right and good, when you don’t feel like it.” (37)

“Note the “quality” – not just the quantity – of the laugh that you’re getting. This is just as important – if not more – than just getting laughs. Cheap laughs are just that. Your jokes’ll be treated just like Chinese food. In an hour, people’ll be hungry for another comedian.” (38)

“In addition to listening to the audience’s laugh, you want to listen to their silence. Is it bored or interested silence? The silence is quieter and filled with energy when they’re interested. You can hear a pin drop. When they’re bored, you can always hear it.” (38)

“Bombing teaches you how badly you want to become a comedian. Because unless it’s a burning desire, you’ll quit when the consistent bombing becomes too much to take.” (40)

“Evaluate every performance on: stage presence, concentration, delivery, material and lessons learned.” (41)

“I wasn’t able to showcase myself to my satisfaction on television until I did one very important thing: I started treating television as though it were just another night at a club. I stopped ruminating continuously over my television set and thinking about its potential significance. This started with my last few shots with Johnny Carson when I realized why my spots hadn’t seemed as funny to me as my club sets. I realized that the extra thought and preparation actually worked against me. Once I adopted this new attitude, I started doing television spots that I was happy with. But let me stress that this was just my approach.” (44)

“I advise treating the studio audience like a nightclub audience because that’s the reason you’re doing television – to get them to come see you in a nightclub.” (45)

“If you do stories, or material with a lot of tags, or afterthought lines, you’ll probably have to cut those out. In other words, you’ll have to strip-mine your material and “lean” it up for time constraints.” (45)

“Be prepared to cut your little extra lines that come after a big punchline and move on to the next joke or routine to give your set more punch and crispness. You can keep them in your set, but if the audience applauds your big line, don’t do your tag when it dies down, just move on.” (45)

“Doing panel well is actually more important than doing a good stand-up spot because it’s when the audience observes you in a more “conversational” mode and decides if they like your personality – which is one of the real keys to popularity.” (46)

“It’s better to play to the host as though in a real conversation and let the audience listen in- which they are.” (47)

Louie Anderson quotes:

“Whatever kind of person you are, that’s the kind of comedy that comes out.” (54)

“One services the gift of creativity by always taking a bigger chance. No matter if you fail or not.” (55)

“The secret behind timing is to hold whatever you’re going ot say until you absolutely have to say it.” (57)

“On television you can wait a little longer and you won’t lose ‘em. If you rush it, you’ll fuck it up.” (57)

“I like to believe that the audience is smart, and I refuse to hit people over the head with my lines.” (57)

“I found out that a lot of movement was better than a lot of words. A lot of expressions would get me a lot more mileage than any word, ‘cause if I just give the expression, then you have to make up the word and your word will be stronger than mine ever could be.” (58)

Richard Beltzer quotes:

Creativity’s a blessing and a curse. If you don’t tend to it, it can do other things to you. That’s why we feel so good when we’re being creative – because we’re doing the right thing.” (65)

Elayne Boosler quotes:

“Whatever city I’m in, I read their paper because I think it’s just great if you can go up and bounce off ten or twenty minutes of local news because you’re an outsider coming in and looking at them.” (73)

“I had a friend once tell me, if you can’t write anything on a particular day, take three extraneous word out of an existing joke, and that’ll be your day’s work.” (75)

“No personal checks, no cashier’s checks, only certified checks, only bank checks always paid before the last performance. Never performing with any monies outstanding. Round-trip tickets so you’re not left, mandatory deposit at least thirty days ahead, guarantee that they’ll spend “x” amount of dollars on advertising for my appearance. You get no comps, the tickets belong to me – if you want to have guests, you pay me for them. Your club, my tickets. It’s hardball and it’s ugly and it’s horrible every time. It never gets better.” (75)

George Carlin quotes:

“You have to start with where your true attitudes and beliefs start.” (84)

“When I read or think of something, I don’t immediately think it’s funny, but I become aware that it has a potential for what I call “comic distortion.” (85)

“The artist and the scientist parts of the brain have to work together. One side is point out to you all these ironies, and the other side has to sort them out and organize them into patterns.” (86)

“You have to find the patterns of your thinking. Like I have thoughts about social concerns, thoughts about little funny wordplay things thoughts about values that I feel are important in life, and once a month I go through them and read them, and sort them into piles based on their patterns or topics. I find that when I do this sorting out, it helps me see the possibilities for connections. I can see something that relates to something that I might’ve done the week before.” (86)

“If it’s important enough for you to think of, and important enough for you to drive someplace, stand up, and tell people to be quiet so you can tell them about it, that’s gotta be in your voice and your delivery.” (87)

Ellen Degeneres Quotes:

“The audience came to see you, and you don’t let them dictate the pace of the show. You set the pace and then they can go along with it. Sometimes you have drunk people who want to yell out when you have those pauses, and that’s really aggravating, but the more you stick to it, the people who enjoy that will keep coming back to see you. So you crate your own audience and eliminate those with short attention spans.” (95)

“You have to look at everything as though it’s getting you ready. And you’re getting closer and closer each time.” (101)

Richard Jeni quotes:

“I don’t know if it’s so much instinctive as it was a result of noticing how much the audience likes it when you physicalize it, because really what you’re doing when you do comedy is you’re trying to paint a picture in somebody’s mind. And the more vivid the picture is, the better chance you have of getting them to laugh at your idea. It’s like the difference between a book and a movie.” (104)

“When you’re trying to be experimental at the beginning, it’s almost the worst time to do that because the audiences you have are terrible. They’re small, drunk, hostile, and they have no respect for the show because it’s usually someplace that doesn’t inspire respect.” (106)

“I feel if you establish that you don’t have to go low, then you can go low for a couple of minutes just as a fun thing.” (109)

“”One of the most productive times to write, if you can keep from chasing the local women, is after the show. Because everything is charged in that direction. All those comedy switches are on.” (111)

“I didn’t start out as a guy doing a lot of voices and sounds. The thing that is really interesting: I couldn’t do a lot of these things when I first started out, and one of the reasons I couldn’t do them was because I didn’t believe that I could do them. But as time went on, I started to be able to do them, and as I started to get more confident that I could, I started to try more, and started to succeed – to where I end up today where you’re asking me how I do all these voices and sounds.” (113)

“I always felt that whatever success I’ve had as a comedian is because I don’t do any one thing great. But I do a lot of things pretty good, and it adds up to a whole that’s greater than the sum of its parts.” (113)

“I don’t talk about politics that much because the stuff that people laugh at the most are things they relate to on an emotional level.” (114)

Jay Leno Quotes:

“The one thing I learned very quickly was that your material will ascend or descend to the level of the room that you are playing.” (120)

“I’ve always told comedians that if you can do this for seven years, I mean physically make it to the stage for seven years, you’ll always make a living. If you’ve been in the business longer than seven years and you’re not successful, there’s probably another reason.” (125)

“When I got on stage, that was the first time that I did something where I did and thought about it at the same time. That was the only time that I was ever focused, and it’s still true today.” (126)

“”If you asked me if I’d rather be a comedian or The Tonight Show host, I’d be out of here tomorrow if I had to make a choice.” (126)

“If you try to change their mind, you’re no longer a comedian, then you’re a humorist, then you’re a satirist, then you’re out of show business.” (127)

“The good comedians always put the jokes above anything else. To me, the ideal joke is when you’ve got your stupid redneck over here and your college professor over here, and they both laugh at the same joke for different reasons. The professor is laughing because it’s clever and sees that you might mean something else, and the redneck is laughing at the obvious.” (128)

Richard Lewis Quotes:

“David Brenner told me that if you do a joke in front of 20,000 people and you just hear a titter, get it out of the act.” (142)

“I decided to charge a higher cover price and see if Richard Lewis fans will actually come to the nightclubs to get the room mainly filled with people who would come to see me in a concert hall. And it worked… I wanted to know if my material would work with my fans, not just with anybody who would come to any nightclub.” (144-145)

Bill Maher Quotes:

“As a comedian, you want to be in touch with as much as you can with everyday life, and the more successful you get, the more you become removed.” (160)

Paul Reiser Quotes:

“When you’re performing, your adrenaline will probably kick in and make you want to go faster, so slow down, and if you think you’re going too slow, slow down even more. Because your gauge is off. What you think is happening isn’t really happening because you’re so charged.” (167)

“Watching a mediocre comic will trigger you. You’re not inspired by greatness, you’re inspired by mediocrity.” (168)

“Getting on The Tonight Show is the easiest job in the world because all they look for is good comics. If you’re a good comic, there is no challenge, you’ll be on. The hard thing is getting good enough to be there.” (169)

“Cosby said that very often the most personal will turn out to be the most universal.” (170)

“How do I adapt to different arenas? One piece of advice given to me early on was just to put the room where you are most comfortable in your head. Like I know how to do the Catch a Rising Star club at two in the morning, but I don’t know how to do this theater, so when I’m at the theater I pretend it’s two in the morning at Catch a Rising Star. I know where I feel comfortable, and I know I feel funnier around certain people than others. So I get into the mindset, “Okay, where do I feel comfortable? I feel funny with these people in this situation and these circumstances.” So put yourself there and that will bring you out in your best light.” (173)

Chris Rock Quotes:

“Just be a big sponge and listen to people who you want to ignore. Really listen to them, because they’re going to say some little thing you can use. They can’t help it.” (177)

“Even though I know the jokes, I’m still looking for that ad-lib. I’m wondering, is it there, is it here?” (178)

“There’s definitely a jump from clubs to doing concerts. A concert is like a movie, like a play. It really should all tie together. It really should be a show, not just a collection of jokes.” (179)

“I felt that even if you don’t think it’s funny, I don’t want you to think it’s boring.” (182)

“I’d see guys getting mad ‘cause their career wasn’t moving, and I’d say, “Well write some new jokes.” Every new batch of jokes took me where it was gonna take me. When I stopped writing, the career stayed right there.” (182)

“I was aware I’d taken my career to another level when I got to the point where I wasn’t really competing with other comedians.” (183)

Roseanne Quotes:

“Everything has a message whether you think it does or doesn’t.” (192)

Jerry Seinfeld Quotes:

“I say, “I’m going to sit for an hour.” I always consider sitting the accomplishment.” (197)

“If people can get a quick sense of who you are, they relax. The worst I did was bomb every other show – which was tolerable.” (198)

“Bill Cosby once told me, “When you’re the pilot of the plane, you can’t come on the P.A. system and go, ‘Well, I’m gonna try and take her up.’”” (201)

Garry Shandling Quotes:

“You have to not give a shit in the best possible sense.” (211)

“You really have to be willing to bomb, and to fail, before you can be really good. If you’re afraid to fail, you’ll be bad. If you see an artist who’s really afraid to fail, it’s not someone you’re going to like, and it’s not someone who is doing real art. What they’re really doing is looking for approval.” (211)

“I remember Steve Garvey saying, “You’ve got 162 games, so you can’t ride an emotional roller coaster during a season.” So I applied that to stand up whenever I’d have a bad show.” (212)

“People don’t understand that you can’t do old material because it reflects something that you aren’t anymore. You might as well be another comedian. If you can do your old material and make it work, you’ve got a bigger problem. That means you’re stuck.” (212)

“Acceptance is a springboard to go deeper, because once the audience accepts that you’re funny, you no longer have to prove that. You’re now freer to explore.” (215)

Sinbad Quotes:

“The game I play with myself is, make it grow. Nobody else in the room has to know this. My game is to keep the waitresses looking and listening to me every night – because the waitresses that work at comedy clubs are your judge of comedy. My goal is, if you saw me twice, you got something different the next time.” (219)

“You can’t be scared to get rid of stuff, and you can’t limit yourself.” (220)

“Comics were made to be gypsies. We weren’t made to be contained. We’re not supposed to be able to come to a board meeting.” (220)

George Wallace Quotes:

“When I walk on stage, it’s basically me you’re buying. You’re not buying any particular joke, or anything like that. You’re buying George Wallace. My point of view is that I’m relaying a message that you would like to extend to yourself.” (232)

“My job is to have the antennas out. I’ve been on The Tonight Show for twenty years, but you can’t continue to do The Tonight Show for twenty years and not have the antennas out because you got to keep them with new stuff. That’s the difference in the comedians who do a lot of TV and those who don’t – new jokes.” (233)

“You have to be better doing panel than stand-up because that’s your personal moment. You’re delivering jokes in a different manner.” (234)

“Put your personality out first, ask the audience how they’re doing. ‘Cause there’s no reason for you to buy Coke over Pepsi; you’ve gotta like the salesperson who’s selling it.” (237)

“Enough people know me, and I know that I’m sharp enough after twenty years to know that now it’s my show and my stage no matter what happened before me. It might take me three minutes, but I’ll change the mood of the room.” (240)

Jonathan Winters Quotes:

“You gotta take more chances. You gotta be a gambler in your material. You’re gonna get your hands spanked every now and then, but you’re also gonna get some, “Hey, I loved what the guy said. I wonder if he said it off the top of his head.” (248)

Budd Friedman Quotes:

“More and more people are waiting now [turning down a network opportunity] because they know if they get a shot and it doesn’t work, they might get another one. Which is smart. I think you have to fight for what you know is right.” (264)

Irwin Arthur Quotes:

“He or she goes out and finds talent that they believe that they can find work for.  Sometimes you find people at the embryonic stage of their career, and you hope that you can grow with them as they develop.” (273)

“One of my secretaries in New York was a little blond lady named Joan Rivers, who I never believed would make it, but she had this perseverance that went beyond the limit.” (273)

“It certainly helps to represent people who are well known. People are calling you for them, and then we use that as a wedge to get the unknown person a job.” (273)

“You look for a likability, a stage presence, and you look for some kind of an intelligence in that there’s a beginning, middle, and end, or a potential for a beginning, middle, and end to apiece of material that a person is doing. You look for natural funniness.” (273)

“Always be compelled to do the best you can on any given night. That’s part of the discipline. Don’t ever throw a performing opportunity away. I can’t emphasize that enough.” (274)

“In the beginning, you’re looking for someone who has a stage presence to attract attention from the audience, and compel it to watch them. I firmly believe that it’s the persona first, and then the material.” (274)

“The first thing to remember is that the agent is looking for you. If you have talent, we want you as bad as you want us.” (275)

Buddy Morra Quotes:

“Someone once said to me that most performers spend most of their time waiting for the opportunity, instead of preparing for it. If you prepare for the opportunity, and you have the ability, the opportunity will come.” (282)

“Material is almost incidental. Someone once said years ago, “when the audience walks out, do they remember the joke, or do they remember the person?” If they remember the joke, you’re in trouble.” (283)

As always, if you liked the quotes, click here to buy the full book.

0m52s More emphasis on “someone”

1m10s Get better posture, neck is too far forward

1m25s I can add “I didn’t even know the internet had other websites”

3m59s Say “it’s called the contract year” before “imagine how good marriages would be in a contract year.”

4m48s Add “accidently” before started

5m34s Change “twelve” to “ten” for less syllables

Overall: Decent for checks

0m14s Might not need to acknowledge this

0m51s More emphasis on “someone”

4m49s Good to pick one or two specific people for the batteries line

6m01s Good improvised response and good idea to ask about how long someone’s been married to go back into the bit

7m13s Say someone instead of something

7m51s I forgot a couple of lines about “if you’re lucky, life, you have a couple good orgasms then you die… Have I depressed everyone yet?” but it still sorta made sense

9m25s Harsher on “maybe”

14m03s Hit the UofP harder, like “I guess you went to…”

15m10s Smile on “basement”

15m55s Spin the media should be after bribe the jury

18m10s Weird fun interaction

18m28s Fun Q&A I guess

19m04s Compromise should go before flexible

19m27s Saying “alright” is a funny way to go into safe word

20m31s Try to have my eyes open wider when doing the grandpa character to differentiate it from the mom

21m17s Hold the smile after each line until the laughs die down, otherwise I might be stopping the laughs cause they’re waiting for the next line

21m58s I can cut the candle part

22m46s Hold for an extra half second

Overall: Great long set. I was relaxed and had fun and the material flowed.

5m53s It got enough laughs that I didn’t need to acknowledge the second round of laughs

Overall: Consistent laughs throughout, but they could’ve been stronger.

1m30s Good misinterpretation on her “excuse me”

1m51s Milk the circle motion for longer if it’s getting laughs

3m57s State that it’s called a contract year

5m03s I accidentally did this bit instead of the cell phones like marriages bit, but it actually helps break up the anti-marriage material

6m04s Have the mic in the stand before doing the one liner

Overall: Solid short set, although you can’t tell from this audio version