It’s Day Three of Typhoid Watch 2010 and I’m not really any better. There was one point yesterday afternoon that some sort of front blew through and I turned into a human barometer. The pressure in my head was unbelievable and had it not been for a Route 44 Diet Coke from Sonic and three Motrin, I’m not sure I would have lived to tell about it.

Yes, I should probably go to the doctor, but what if he gave me antibiotics to make me feel better? What would I complain about then? And how am I supposed to make a list for Fashion Friday if I’m busy getting medical attention?

It’s about priorities. I have them.

But this will still be the briefest post in Fashion Friday history. I just don’t have the strength to ramble.

1. Women’s slub knit tiered skirts

Old Navy has their skirts on sale for $15.00. A total bargain.

The weather here has been gorgeous all week and it’s reminded me how much I love to be able to just throw on a skirt and a t-shirt during the warm/boiling hot months. Especially a skirt that only costs $15.00.

2. Orange and grey flower pin

I am in love with the flower pin. I saw this one on Etsy the other day and thought it was the perfect thing to add a little zip to a plain t-shirt. And when it comes to plain t-shirts, my personal favorite is the Timeless crewneck tee because they don’t shrink or fade. I still wear one that I bought five years ago.

Oh, and if the flower pin isn’t your thing, then you might like this poppy necklace. How cute is that?

3. Bordeaux Katherine top

Remember last week when I mentioned that lace tops were in for Spring? I think this one would look so cute with jeans or dressed up with black pants or a skirt.

4. Textured circle necklace

Because accessories make everything better.

5. Crinkle flower t-strap sandal

I guess this year is the year of the flower. I love these sandals with the flower details.

And I also like these rhinestone thong sandals in silver.

6. Custom Chuck Taylors

Did you know you can design your own pair of Converse? How fun is that?

But if you don’t need the pressure of designing your own tennis shoes, then how about this Jack Purcell Gingham pair or this plaid pair?

7. Hand embroidered top

I am a big fan of Mexican embroidered tunics and tops for this time of year. So cute and fun.

8. Embellished scoopneck tank

I just think this is really pretty.

9. Rosette detail cardigan

While I love cardigans on other people, they just never seem to work for me. They make me feel like I’m playing dress up or something. I can’t explain it.

However, they are very in for Spring and I think this one is really pretty.

10. Beaded knit sheath dress

I love that this is a pretty dress, yet it’s still just a knit dress. I think it would look so pretty with the silver sandals that I mentioned earlier.

I also really like this applique jersey t-shirt dress. Pretty and comfortable. What a concept.

That’s it for today.

Y’all have a great Friday.

For more fashion, you can visit Jo-Lynne. She’s talking about denim today.

So I don’t really feel any better. On the upside, I don’t sound like Bea Arthur anymore. I guess everything has kind of settled in my chest and irritated my throat to the point that I’ve mellowed into something along the lines of Kim Carnes.

I spent most of the day yesterday lying on the couch and complaining about how bad I felt at any given opportunity. The mailman acted like he wasn’t that interested (Please ma’am, just take your Hanna Andersson catalog and let me get back to my appointed rounds) but I think, somewhere deep down inside, he was interested in my analysis of the Spring time cold and how it relates to the changing weather and allergies.

Listen. It’s hard to write a blog post when you don’t feel good and haven’t done much all day. What am I going to say? I washed our white towels today and bleached the heck out of them. I also used plenty of fabric softener even though P is bothered by my use of fabric softener for the towels and says I do it that way because of my ethnicity. I’m not sure what being Italian has to do with using fabric softener, but I can tell you what being German has to do with thinking your way is the best way even though it’s clearly not. And how it leads to towels that aren’t very soft and don’t smell like lavender.

Of course he also complains that the monogram on the towels hinders their absorbency which kind of ruins his credibility on the entire matter.

Anyway, as much as I would have liked to get all Nyquiled up and napped all day after I washed those towels, I had to make a trip to HEB because we were running low on all our essentials. I think by now we all know that means York Peppermint Patties, Nilla Wafers and Q-tips. And then I had psyche myself up for the biggest event of our day.

The first soccer practice of the Spring season.

That’s right. We’re coaching soccer again. The Mighty Rainbows are back together. Except we’ve changed our name to the Cheetah Girls and our colors are lavender and silver. I’m not sure of all the reasons for the change because I am not a six-year-old girl, but I think they felt that Rainbows didn’t really suit them anymore. It’s been three months and they’re bigger, stronger, and faster. They are cheetah-esque. Assuming that cheetahs turn cartwheels and spin in circles until they’re dizzy during soccer practice.

I’d decided earlier in the day to make Sloppy Joes for dinner because it would be late after soccer and I needed to make something quick and easy that we’d all eat. But Caroline announced on the way home that she was no longer a fan of Sloppy Joes because they’re “too sloppy”. So she ended up eating Kraft mac and cheese because all the cold medicine had rendered me helpless to fight that battle.

After bath time she asked if I’d please roll her hair in foam rollers. I’m not sure why she felt she needed curly hair for school the next day, but it’s so rare that she lets me anything to her hair other than just pulling it back in ponytail that I agreed to do it even though it was late and past her bedtime. I immediately regretted the ten minutes of my life I’ll never get back when she put her head on the pillow and began crying and said there was no way she could sleep in the rollers but how else was she going to look beautiful tomorrow?

We took the rollers out as I promised her that I’d curl her hair with the curling iron in the morning. She tearfully asked if I’d sing her a lullaby, so I sang a round of Bette Davis Eyes because it would be a shame to waste this voice.

Then P and I ate Sloppy Joes for dinner. I’d like to say they were delicious, but that would be a lie. They were Sloppy Joes. We didn’t even have any side dishes which was kind of a new low.

And now I’m going to take some cough medicine and get some sleep. I’ve got a big morning of curling hair ahead of me and I need to be ready.

I woke up yesterday morning with a little bit of a scratchy throat that seems to be getting progressively worse. Either that or it’s my new normal to sound like Bea Arthur. Which, fingers crossed for that scenario because, SEXY.

So since I’m probably coming down with a cold or perhaps typhoid fever, I’m just going to share a few quick thoughts and call it a night. Or a day. Or whatever.

1. My friend Steph and I have had several conversations about appropriate, comfortable shorts for moms. I told her that I wasn’t sure that I even believed in shorts anymore. As if I could just will them out of existence because I can’t find a pair that serves as a midway point between hoochie and Mamaw. But then Gulley and I ran in Gap yesterday and discovered these boyfriend Bermuda shorts.

In my opinion, they are the perfect pair of shorts. The right length, the right material, the right fit. Yes, Virginia, there is a pair of shorts.

2. I’m reading Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen right now. I can’t remember the last book that made me laugh out loud at least once in every chapter. I want to write like Rhoda Janzen when I grow up.

And speaking of books, Kelly Corrigan has a new book out called Lift that I can’t wait to read. Her first book, The Middle Place, is one of my favorites of all time. I would also like to write like Kelly Corrigan when I grow up.

3. I’m a little obsessed with tangelos right now. You know? The hybrid fruit that is both a tangerine and an orange? I’ve developed a two tangelo a day habit. Which, hooray for healthy snack. The problem is that they are terribly messy to eat. It kind of makes me feel like I need to eat them standing over the kitchen sink instead of enjoying the tangelo while sitting on my couch and watching American Idol.

And you think you have problems.

4. Speaking of American Idol, my personal favorite last night was Didi Benami. I was a little nervous about the whole Rhiannon thing because, dude, Fleetwood Mac. But it totally worked.

I also thought Crystal Bowersox was great. And she was wearing some kind of rockin’ ring. (I wanted to tell you which hand she was wearing it on, but that would require that I know my right from my left while watching T.V. and knowing the picture is backwards.)

5. A friend of mine called me on Monday and left me a message about a local boutique that was going out of business and having an incredible sale. I didn’t go by there because I was too busy searching the ends of my hair for split ends and developing my current case of typhoid fever. But I ran into my friend yesterday and she told me that the boutique had all their jeans on sale for $30. THIRTY DOLLARS.

I am proud to announce that I bought a $160 pair of Joe’s Jeans for $30. It almost felt like I was stealing them. I don’t know why I think you care about this, but it was a big moment for me.

***Edited to add that the boutique is Galeana on North Main. I didn’t mention it originally because everything was pretty picked over by the time I got there. They had a bunch of jeans left in the 30-31 sizes, but not much in the smaller sizes remained.

6. There is another GoodNites giveaway going on if you click over to my Giveaways page. Don’t miss the chance to win a $175 prize pack that includes an iPod and to learn how you can enter to win the $2500 grand prize.

Y’all have a good day. I’ll just be sitting here sipping on some Theraflu.

I’m a little concerned right now because the fan has been running continuously on my Mac for at least ten minutes. Is it about to blow up? Is it too much to have all these various tabs open so I can attempt to write a blog post, play Bejeweled, check Twitter, and answer email all at the same time? In the words of one of my favorite tech nerds, it may all be too processor intensive.

I’m not even sure I’m using that phrase in the proper context. It just makes me happy to say it.

Anyway, let’s all say a prayer for my computer because it kind of sounds like it’s circling the drain.

Last night we were all sitting at the table eating dinner together. We were having chalupas. Which may sound boring and uninspired until I tell you that I made the chalupas from scratch. If you consider “by scratch” to mean that I deep fried the corn tortillas I bought at HEB because, come on, do I seem like someone who grinds her own corn to make tortillas?

As we took turns talking about our day, Caroline began to tell us a story about a girl in her class who wasn’t very nice to a boy in their class and all the ways that this was very wrong. But as I listened to the story, the details started to sound very familiar to a story she’d told me a few weeks ago, so I asked, “Did this happen today?”

“No. It happened about a few weeks ago.”

At that point, P decided to seize the opportunity to impart a life lesson and said, “You know what? Sometimes people make mistakes and do things they shouldn’t do. And when that happens, we need to forgive them and quit bringing up something they did a long time ago. That’s what God does for us. He forgives us when we do something wrong and forgets about it, so we need to do that same thing for others.”

She looked at him for a few seconds as she absorbed this bit of information and replied, “Yeah, but that’s not really working out for me right now.”

Either we need to start coming up with more exciting activities for our weekends or I need to look into the possibility of writing fiction. Because our weekend involved the following activities in no particular order by popularity or frequency:

Eating
Sleeping
Catching up on Real Housewives of both the O.C. and N.Y.
Eating
Buying a shower gift at Pottery Barn
Going to a wedding shower
Eating
Sleeping
Eating
Going to church
Eating
Sleeping
Watching T.V.

Look. Don’t be jealous. I can’t help that this is the kind of excitement that rules my life.

At one point we had big plans to take the training wheels of Caroline’s bike, medicate ourselves, and attempt to teach her to ride without them. But when we came out of church on Sunday morning, it was raining. Actually, rain isn’t really the right word. It was more like that annoying light mist that I find to be totally non-committal, the kind that makes you feel silly for carrying an umbrella even though you know your freshly straightened hair will be shot all to heck without one.

A few weeks ago, I noticed that The Black Stallion was coming on and I recorded it for Caroline. I couldn’t remember the entire movie because it had been thirty years since I’d last seen it and I can’t even remember to buy more paper towels at the grocery store. When it’s written on a list. That I’m holding in my hands. Anyway, since it was a rainy day, we ended up watching it and she fell a little bit in love with it. In fact, there’s a scene where the little boy feeds The Black some sugar cubes which eventually led us to HEB to purchase some sugar cubes of our very own because she had no idea a thing of such pure goodness existed and wanted to experience it for herself.

She also wanted to ride a black Arabian horse across a beach at full speed. But you can’t buy that at HEB.

And not to beat a dead horse (I apologize.), but while we were in HEB we ran into a friend who was desperately looking for Jello brand sugar-free pudding and all he could find was the HEB brand. He may be one of the most frugal people I know, but he still wanted his brand name Jello and I don’t blame him. I may write a letter to HEB. And Bill Cosby.

I didn’t watch the Oscars from start to finish last night because I believe in the power of the DVR and its ability to fast forward through the awards for best lighting, but I watched the highlights. I think Cameron Diaz and Sandra Bullock get my vote for best dressed. In fact, Sandra Bullock’s hair makes me want to look into getting some type of high-shine treatment done. I don’t know if such a thing exists, but my word at the shiny, sleek hair. I want to go to there. Oh, and her speech where she thanked her mother? Did me in.

Speaking of things that did me in, was it just me or did the tribute to John Hughes make you a little bit teary? It was like watching my high school years flash before my eyes. I watched all those clips and thought how every one of those movies fall into the category of movies I will stop and watch every time they’re on T.V.

And then I started thinking of other movies I will stop and watch every time they’re on T.V. and came up with this list that is definitely not comprehensive, but rather an adequate representation of my taste in cinema. This may be the reason that I’ve never been asked to be a member of the Academy. Well, this list and the fact that no one in Hollywood has a clue that I exist.

1. The Philadelphia Story – the version with Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant

2. Gone with the Wind

3. Rocky I, II, III, IV – I have no explanation, but it’s true.

4. Sweet Home Alabama

5. Coalminer’s Daughter – I can recite every line from memory.

6. Little Women – I believe I’ve mentioned this before.

7. Grease 1 and 2 – I should be ashamed to own up to 2, but Cool Rider redeems it.

8. Bridget Jones’ Diary – Colin Firth.

9. Best in Show – So many levels of genius in one movie.

10. Lonesome Dove – Technically it’s a miniseries, but it’s pure greatness. It’s the reason I have a large crush on Robert Duvall.

So what movies will you stop and watch every time they’re on? And whose dress did you like the best last night? And were you kind of happy that Avatar didn’t win? I’m sure it was a lovely movie, but I’m not a big fan of James Cameron or blue sci-fi people. Forgive me.

On a totally different note, you need to go read Shaun Groves’ post, The Parable of the Zebra.

Since several of you asked yesterday about which self tanner I use, I guess I should start by talking about self tanners. Because, let’s be honest, no matter what your dermatologist tells you, everything looks better with a tan. Sadly, everything doesn’t look better with wrinkles and skin cancer, so that leaves the self tanner option.

I know there are some expensive products on the market and I’m sure they are lovely and smell like pina coladas being served poolside by a cabana boy named Pablo. However, most of those are more than I’m willing to pay for a tan in a bottle unless I start selling my plasma as a side business to earn extra cash.

My go to self tanner is Neutrogena Build-A-Tan. I like the option of the gradual tan instead of just waking up VERY TAN one morning It allows me to regulate my color. I apply it two days in a row and then usually skip a day or two to make sure I don’t end up looking like the love child of Diana Ross and George Hamilton.

This year I’ve also decided to shake it up a bit and have been using Jergens Natural Glow Firming lotion on my legs. If it actually works then there’s a good chance that I might just start bathing in it every day for the rest of my life. I’m not sure that any actual firming is going on because if it was that easy then Jillian Michaels would be living on the street looking for a job, but it’s a scientific fact that a tan can hide a multitude of sins and the claims of firming make me feel better even it’s just a placebo effect.

As a bonus, I’m going to give you some self tanner advice from someone who has made some critical errors. Exfoliation is key. You’ve got to use the loofah to get rid of dead skin if you want a smooth, even finish. Also, put a little Vaseline or regular lotion on your knees, elbows, and ankles to avoid the dreaded dirty knees syndrome caused by the tanner caking around the drier skin on your knees. And, finally, sometimes you have to kiss some self tanner frogs to find your golden prince. My skin tends to be a little more olive, so what works for me may not work for you.

I have never been more thankful for a bit of faux tan than I was yesterday when I put on my black sleeveless dress to wear to the fashion show. My arms really aren’t summer ready and I mentally prepared myself that no matter what the day might bring I needed to avoid placing my arms directly by my sides at all time. Always crook your elbow. Always. Because it makes your arms look skinnier and doesn’t look awkward or unnatural at all. It just looks like you’re doing the robot.

The good news from the fashion show was that all the trends I mentioned last week were featured. I’m relieved that I don’t have to issue any sort of fashion retraction. Now that I’m armed with a wealth of knowledge, I’ll share the other five trends for Spring and Summer.

1. White

This applies to everything from the white shirt to the white jean. I’m a huge fan of the white shirt in all forms. However, I don’t really understand why everyone insists on making their white shirts so thin that you’re forced to wear another layer under it. I live in South Texas. I cannot wear two shirts all summer long without becoming angry and irritable.

That being said, I would make an exception for this Nanette Lepore Javanese blouse.

In the words of Stevie Wonder, isn’t she lovely? Too bad she’s so dang expensive.

Fortunately, there are less expensive alternatives. This pintucked tunic top is really cute and so is this floral applique v-neck tee. I also love this Heritage silk tiered blouse and this square neck crochet cami.

As for white jeans, I realize they aren’t for everyone but I found a really great pair last summer. The key to white jeans is that you can’t really go cheap. If you’re going to wear white on your bottom half and are over the age of fifteen, then you need to pay a little extra for a great fit. I love these bootcut white jeans by Citizens of Humanity.

Keep in mind that you can wear them with a longer tunic style top to eliminate your entire rear view being an expanse of white.

Of course if you have young children or, like me, can’t get through a meal without spilling something on yourself, you may want to skip the white trend altogether.

2. Safari/Tribal influences

Remember back when Banana Republic stores used to be designed to resemble the set of Land of the Lost? This is kind of like that. But please stay away from the sleestaks.

You can do anything from a beaded v-neck dress to a simple linen shirtdress.

It can also take on a bohemian look like this tunic.

I also like this tunic from Boden.

I’m sure there’s a lot of other stuff out there but it seems like a lot of work to find it right now.

3. The dress

There are a million different dress options right now. And that’s only a slight exaggeration.

This little silk solid tie-neck dress looks just like Spring to me.

But there are casual dresses, shirt dresses, floral dresses, and June Cleaver dresses.

If elected, I promise that there will be a dress in every pot.

4. Big, bold jewelry

The beautiful thing about jewelry, I mean other than the jewelry itself, is that you can find trendy, stylish pieces at any price point. There is nothing that can add a little pop to something tired and old in your closet like some great new accessories.

This turquoise statement necklace + me = True love 4ever.

But there are so many great pieces of jewelry to choose from. It’s an abundance of faux riches.

5. Delicate and lacy

There are so many gorgeous feminine things out there right now. I wish I could give them all a good home.

I’m especially in love with this lace dolman top.

But there’s only so much plasma one person can sell.

That’s it for Spring Trends. In fact, I’m so tired that I may be done with Fashion Fridays FOREVER.

Or at least until next week.

Y’all have a good Friday.

For a discussion about stripes for Spring, you can go visit Jo-Lynne at Musings of a Housewife.

P.S. I also wanted to make sure that y’all know there is a group of Compassion bloggers in Kenya this week. I particularly loved this post from day one of the trip written by Ryan.

And here I thought I was on the cutting edge of culinary exploration with the graham crackers and Duncan Hines frosting. So much for my plans to write a bestselling cookbook detailing all the ways the graham can be used as a dessert item. Everyone already knows. I guess I’ll have to resort to Plan B and do something totally unique like maybe design a type of disposable towel made out of paper that can be used in your kitchen.

I’m not sure what I’ve done this week, but I’m positive that it hasn’t been anything very exciting because I’m sitting here for the second day in a row trying to figure out what on earth to write about. Too bad I don’t have a picture of some crackers with some cheese so I could tell you about the great new snack I just discovered.

Instead I will just continue to compose the most boring sequence of paragraphs in the free world.

Most of Monday was spent chauffeuring (it just took me about nine tries to spell that word) P around because he had to put his truck in the shop. We enjoy putting the truck in the shop on a regular basis since there’s really no other way we like to spend money than to fix transmissions and wonky front end alignment. It’s so much better than a new pair of shoes or a cute top.

After we dropped the truck off, we decided to go eat some breakfast. P took me to a little place on the edge of downtown where bars on the windows indicated that there were most likely some excellent huevos rancheros with homemade tortillas in our future and possibly being witnesses to a homicide. I like my eggs with a side of danger. And a spicy ranchero sauce.

On Tuesday…look, I’ll be honest with you, I have no idea what we did on Tuesday. I’m sitting here racking my brain trying to remember. Oh, it just came to me because I remember the great pajama debate of 2010. It was National Reading Day and Caroline was supposed to wear pajamas to school and bring some books, a blanket and a breakfast item to share with the class. (Actually I don’t know if it was a national thing or not. I think that’s what the note said, but it may have just been a State Reading Day or Caroline’s Classroom Reading Day. Or maybe I was wrong about the whole thing and sent my child to school in her pajamas for no reason.)

I’d already told her that I’d eat lunch with her on Tuesday, so I showed up at 10:40 (I still can’t get over the late morning lunch time) with a Wacky Pack from Sonic and some mozzarella cheese sticks. It was totally worth the trip because she took one bite of the burger and ate half a french fry. I did manage to find out from the lunch table conversation that all her friends think some boy named Cal is cute. They pointed him out to me, but I didn’t really see what was so appealing about someone who’s barely four feet tall and gnaws on his peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the four teeth he has left in his mouth.

Yesterday morning I had Bible study and then had to make a trip to the grocery store because we were completely out of graham crackers and canned frosting which placed us smack dab in the territory of dire straits. We got our money for nothing and our chicks for free. (I’m sorry. Dire straits took me there.)

By the time I unloaded the groceries and made enough room in the refrigerator for all the Jello Pudding Snacks, it was about time to go pick up Caroline from school. I’d promised her that I’d take her to get a pedicure because she received an award at school for academic excellence and nothing says keep up the hard work like a fresh pedi with some sassy flowers painted on your big toe.

And while we were there, I decided I should probably go ahead and get a pedicure for myself. I mean, I’m the one who has accumulated several or a hundred more gray hairs throughout this school year from the homework alone. Because why does a person insist on drawing nine apples on the ground when the instructions clearly state that you’re supposed to draw some of the apples on the tree and some of the apples on the ground to make a total of nine apples?

“But I don’t want any apples on the tree. I like them on the ground.”

“That’s fine, but the instructions specifically state that SOME need to be on the ground and SOME need to be on the tree.”

“I don’t like them on the tree.”

“Well, then you’re not going to like second grade because in second grade it becomes REALLY IMPORTANT that you follow all the instructions.”

(I don’t even know if that’s true. Second grade could be a complete mutiny of all societal rules for all I know. It’s been thirty-one years since I’ve had any second grade experience.)

“Okay. I’ll draw some on the tree even though I DON’T WANT TO.”

And that is why I felt that I deserved a fresh coat of OPI’s Ladies and Magenta-men on my toes.

I promise I didn’t just pick that color because I adore the name.

And, lastly, since I’ve already gone on way too long and may as well share the last detail of our uneventful week, I officially broke out the self-tanner this week. I’m invited to a luncheon/fashion show tomorrow and there’s a ninety percent chance that I’m wearing a sleeveless dress. (I’m hanging on to the 10% chance that something else will magically appear in my closet.) My arms are frighteningly pale and it just didn’t seem right to subject the public to such a spectacle.

Speaking of, I need to wrap this up and go pluck my eyebrows. I’d hate for someone to be distracted from all the beautiful clothes because the girl sitting across from them has a unibrow.

You know it’s time to suck it up and go to the grocery store when this is what you serve your husband after he asks what’s for dessert.

Necessity and graham crackers really are the mother of invention.

Does anyone remember that I painted Caroline’s room at some point last summer?

Yeah, me neither.

I mean, I knew I painted the room but I couldn’t really remember when it actually happened. Fortunately I have a blog that has taken the place of my long term memory and I was able to find the post where I wrote about painting her room a delightful, if very bright, shade of dancing green.

Too bad the blog couldn’t remind me that yesterday was school picture day before I sent her to school in a huge, oversized tie-dyed t-shirt that she made in Brownies. My little first grade hippy.

Most of the room has been finished for some time now, but Caroline announced early on in the room redecorating process that she’d like to have her monogram painted over her bed. I think we all know that brought me much untold joy and made me wonder if it would be too much to have my own monogram painted over my bed.

So last fall I told P that we needed to figure out how to paint Caroline’s monogram above her bed. I was envisioning some scenario that involved me needing to buy some stencils at Michaels and I was afraid. I was very afraid. But P looked at me and announced, “Shorty can do it”.

I was a little skeptical. Shorty works for P in the landscaping business. You want some geraniums planted? Shorty’s your man. Have a fence that needs to be built? Shorty can do it. Monogramming? Seemed doubtful.

But P pointed out that Shorty paints his name on all his jackets and hats. He doesn’t even own a pair of work gloves that don’t have a fancy “SHORTY” drawn out in some kind of calligraphy. And he spent some downtime on a job site last summer inscribing “El P Landscaping” on all of P’s work tools.

So, yes, Shorty is an artist. Although I’m not sure he paints things as much as he tags things with his name. I felt there might be a 50/50 chance that her wall could end up with SHORTY scrawled across it. And while she is short right now, she’s only six and chances are good that she’ll continue to grow.

I bought the Razzleberry paint I wanted to use for the monogram along with some paintbrushes and then had to wait another two months before Shorty finally had some time in his schedule to paint the wall. Finally, after months of anticipation, P called me in the middle of the day last week and asked, “Do you want Shorty to paint the wall tomorrow?”

Well, yeah.

Later that night, P and I talked about the monogram and I showed him the monogram on Caroline’s lunch box and explained that I wanted it to look JUST LIKE THIS. I should have known I was in trouble when I walked out the next morning and he was measuring the lunch box monogram with a ruler. So that it could be measured out on the wall. To scale.

Heaven help me.

I dropped Caroline off at school and came back home so we could measure it all out on the wall before Shorty began to paint and I knew I was in trouble when P began lamenting that he left his power leveler (I’m not sure that’s the right term) on the job site. But we pressed on. We marked where the center of the headboard was on the wall and he told me to measure out how tall I wanted the middle letter.

So I did.

But then he asked me how I determined that’s how tall the middle letter should be and I answered, “I don’t know. It just feels right.”

The next ten minutes were filled with pencil marks and rulers and drawing straight lines across the wall. I didn’t like how small the C was going to be, but then he said it was to scale. So I wanted to change the whole thing and couldn’t really base my decision on anything more substantive than “because I want to”.

It’s hard to remember exactly where it all went really south, but if memory serves it was sometime right after I was holding the measuring tape and he asked, “Does that look like it measures 32 5/8?”

And I responded, “Let me answer that by asking you this, how long have we been married?”

I am the same woman who has to ask him what 3/4 cups plus 3/4 cups equals when I’m doubling a recipe. Why on earth would I know anything about some 5/8? If the education system had really wanted me to hold on to a knowledge of fractions then they should have never thrown Geometry and Algebra II in the mix.

P looked at me and questioned, “How is Shorty going to know how to paint this if it’s not measured out?”

I just assumed he’d do it like I do all my home improvement projects. It’s a little method I like to call eyeballing it.

But thanks to P, Shorty had some very specific parameters. Which was probably for the best. I showed him the lunch box to make sure that he knew what I wanted and then we left him as he went to work.

Four hours later, I returned home to this.

Seriously. How cute is that? I feel that Shorty is wasting his gift and should start a side business monogramming people’s fences and decks or something.

I also have to add that the furniture in Caroline’s room belonged to my Me-Ma. Words really can’t express how happy I am that it’s in her room because it was such a part of my childhood. I just knew she must be rich to have such beautiful bedroom furniture.

In fact, before it got delivered I was worried that the bedposts might be too tall for Caroline’s room and hit the ceiling fan. I had to laugh when it arrived and was so much smaller than what I remembered. Like so many memories of my grandparents, it was huge in my mind.

Here’s another view of the room.

I’d had those letters in her nursery when she was a baby, but I switched out the pale yellow ribbon in favor of the hot pink.

And then this is my favorite piece of all.

I spent hours as a little girl and an awkward adolescent and a college student sitting at that little chair looking in that mirror as I tried on all of Me-Ma’s jewelry and makeup while she sat with me and listened to all my stories. I never could have imagined a day that it would end up in my own little girl’s room while she looks in that mirror and tries on makeup and pretends she’s a princess.

It makes me smile every time I think about it.

You may also notice the bulletin board on the closet door. I found it at TJ Maxx and was so excited because it was the perfect shade of hot pink. However, when I went to hang it, I discovered that her closet door was too thin for me to hang it with nails so I asked P if we could just hang it with some of those 3M sticky hook things.

I believe his exact words were “We can try it but if it doesn’t work and the bulletin board falls, it could be catastrophic.”

Which caused me to laugh hysterically for the next fifteen minutes because catastrophic seemed like a stretch.

But it served as confirmation that we really aren’t meant to do a lot of home improvement projects together. As if the whole “32 5/8″ incident wasn’t reason enough.

**Edited to add that the wall color is Dancing Green by Sherwin Williams and the monogram is Razzleberry by Benjamin Moore**

I’d planned to write a long post about our weekend, but then I realized that it was basically one long non-event and there’s only so much you can say about nothing. Although I tend to manage pretty well most days. But Little Women is on the Soap Channel right now and I’m powerless to resist the charm of Jo and Laurie. Best of all, P is already in bed so I don’t have to worry about him repeatedly asking why Jo and Ashley don’t just get married and then I have to explain that Ashley is from Gone With The Wind and tell him he means Laurie and then he continues to call him Ashley and ask if Beth has already died until I just hand him the remote and tell him to turn it back to Uncle Ted. Not that we’ve played out that exact scenario before.

My point is that I may keep this brief so I can watch the end of Little Women for the 400th time. Or I may not keep it brief if I come up with something to say. I like to keep my options open.

The bike rodeo was Friday. Caroline woke up a little stressed about the possibility that she might knock over a cone and so we had a big talk about how she just needed to do her best. She also decided to wear her favorite leggings with purple stars so she’d coordinate with her bike and her new helmet. As a woman who once wore a leopard print top to the zoo, I was so proud of her attention to detail.

Is it just me or does that picture bring to mind the scene from The Rainbow Connection where Kermit the Frog is riding his bike through the swamp? I’m not sure when her legs got so long, but here’s hoping the warm weather gets here before I have to invest in more jeans that she’ll outgrow in two weeks.

She completed the entire course without a mistake and never cracked a smile. She had the eye of the tiger, man. The eye of the tiger. So now it’s time to take off the training wheels and start preparing for next year. Just as soon as I find the sedatives.

On Saturday, P took her to the ranch for the day which meant I found myself with an entire day to myself. I was giddy with the freedom and proceeded to spend the next five hours cleaning my house from top to bottom. That sentence would make my twenty-year-old self so sad for my thirty-eight-year-old self.

I vacuumed and scrubbed and dusted and sustained a possible Tilex fumes chemical burn to my lungs and throat, but the house is spotless. Sadly, both my yoga pants and my vacuum sustained career-ending injuries. I’m still not sure exactly what happened to my yoga pants but they now have perfect tiger-striped bleach stains on both thighs. It’s a grievous loss because it’s a real struggle to find a good pair of yoga pants that fit both my circumference and my height. So maybe I’ll just wear them with their tiger stripes, call them weight-lifting pants and start working out at Gold’s Gym.

As for the vacuum, I blame Polly Pockets and her diminutive shoes and handbags of evil. She killed the vacuum as plain as if she’d pulled out a tiny handgun and shot it.

So by Saturday evening I needed a new pair of yoga pants and a vacuum. What is the point in trying to save money by not having a maid if it’s going to cost me hundreds of dollars in yoga pants and vacuum cleaners?

That’s what I thought.

So how was your weekend?