Which is not a task for the faint of heart.

I tried to help him by laying out various acceptable outfits because I knew it would only be a matter of time before she tried to convince him that she could wear her gymnastics leotard with her platform disco shoes to school. And maybe a Sleeping Beauty tiara for that extra something special.

He did carpool pickup. He coordinated playdates. He came up with things they could eat for dinner.

Rumor has it they even ordered sushi one night.

And when I got home late Thursday night, he had flowers and dinner waiting for me.

Over the past several months I’ve had some cool opportunities, but they have required me to be away from home for a few days at a time.

The bottom line is I couldn’t do it without P.

Our life over the last two years has turned into an unexpected adventure. We’ve made some scary decisions together that have sometimes felt like we were holding hands and jumping off a cliff.

P worked in ministry for the majority of our marriage. During that time, I worked in a job that I wasn’t necessarily crazy about but knew that it was God’s financial provision for us. My income allowed P to be in full-time ministry, which nobody really gets into for the sweet cash flow.

Several years ago, P started his own landscape business. At first it was just kind of side job to earn a little extra money, but we’ve watched it grow into a successful business with steady work. It has been a huge blessing.

Then, two years ago, P knew it was time for him to move on from his work with Campus Life and transition full-time into the landscape business. Less than a month later, circumstances led me to unexpectedly resign from my pharmaceutical sales job.

We watched our roles switch.

A while back, someone asked him if he was interested in getting back into ministry and he said, “It’s Melanie’s turn. She supported me all those years and now I want to support her as she goes where God leads.”

And to say that he has is such an understatement.

Over the course of a marriage, life doesn’t always turn out the way you envisioned. There are twists and turns, ups and downs, good and bad. P and I aren’t the same two crazy, skinny kids that vowed to love and to cherish each other until death do we part over eleven years ago.

Those two fools had no idea all that life would throw our way and no idea that we’d be able to survive it all.

What I’m trying to say is that I have been blessed. I’ve been blessed with a man who can drive me crazy with his love of hunting shows, UFC, and leaving half a paper towel sitting on the kitchen counter, but who supports me, loves me, and makes me feel cherished.

He never makes me feel guilty about the time I’m away. He takes up the crown of Mr. Mom and wears it well.

It’s more than I could have asked for or imagined. P falls into the category of my life entitled God’s Outrageous Blessings.

Happy 38th Birthday, P.

I hope I’m half the gift to you that you are to me.

But, while I’m up here at 36,000 feet, let’s talk about some fashion issues. I’ll answer a question or two in just a minute, but first I am in need of some help.

This is a picture of Vicki Courtney and her video producer, April, that I took during the shoot. I mean not actually DURING the shoot because that would have gotten me thrown off the set and been the end of my big career. Which would totally kill me now that I know the miraculous properties of air-brushed makeup.

Anyway, there’s Vicki and she looks great. What I need to discuss is her necklace. It’s not really her necklace, but rather a necklace the stylist borrowed directly from Kelly Minter’s jewelry box and this picture does not do it justice.

I’m not going to lie, I am totally obsessed with this necklace. I asked Kelly where she got it but it is basically one of those stories along the lines of a friend’s second cousin’s sister’s mother-in-law bought the necklace for her SOMEWHERE in Atlanta.

That totally clears it up.

And when you google all that, amazingly enough, you don’t really get any results that let you know where you can purchase the necklace.

I spent the day in Nashville hanging out with the lovely Annie (internet friend turned real life friend) and I told her all about the necklace, made her take me to several Nashville boutiques where I searched for an identical necklace and other fall fashion finds, and finally realized that only the internet can help me now.

So if any of you have ever seen this necklace or know where I can find one for myself, I would greatly appreciate it. I will even pay American dollars for it. Not that those mean all that much these days.

Okay, now for a few questions.

1. Virginia asks: “Do shoes have to match your handbag these days? I just want one handbag I can carry with EVERYTHING and that is big enough to stick some snacks in and a couple of diapers. Do you have a suggestion for a bag color? Please help.”

No, Virginia, shoes do not have to match your handbag. At least I hope they don’t because it is a rare day that my shoes and my purse actually match.

I’m a big fan of having one bag because all this business of changing your purse like you change your underwear is just asking to leave your wallet or, even worse, a pack of gum in the wrong bag.

I’ll never forget helping my family clean out my Mema’s house after my Papa died and finding all her old purses stashed in the closet. Every single one of them had at least three tubes of lipstick that she probably hadn’t seen since 1946.

Personally, I am looking for a great bag in a jewel-tone. They are really in for the fall and the color will work with just about everything. Here are a few that you might want to check out.

2. Caitlin asks: “I am looking for a simple red dress, about knee length, that covers the shoulders for my sorority’s rush in January. A red dress has been nearly impossible to come by. Know of any good ones?”

Oh, the red dress. It is a tricky proposition.

First, you have all the various shades of red. There are reds with blue undertones and reds with orange undertones. It is enough to make your head spin.

Second, the shoe issue. The last time I owned a red dress I am sad to say that I wore it with white hose and red heels. I’ll blame it on the fact that the year was 1994, but really there is never a good excuse for white hose. Unless you are an RN. Or one hundred years old with bad veins and need the support.

You didn’t mention if the dress could be long-sleeve or had to literally just cover your shoulders, but if it can be long-sleeved then I really like this one and it would look great with a really pretty long necklace. Or maybe this one. Or this. Or this.

Hope that helps. Just remember to stay away from white hose.

3. Pam asks: “How do you know all this fashion stuff, like animal prints are becoming classic and can always be used in moderation?”

Pam, I’m in no way a fashion expert. I just play one on the blog.

All my fashion advice should be taken with a grain of salt because I am in no way qualified other than the fact that I like to shop.

Some people knit, some people do papier mache. I shop.

Someone should put that on a t-shirt. I’d buy it.

Y’all have a great Friday!

Oh, and it’s Sophie’s birthday today. You might want to go wish her a good one. She makes 29 look so good.

In other news, I still can’t breathe through my nose without extensive medication. I’m thinking it may be time to go visit the doctor once I get back home or explore the use of a neti pot, which I can’t really think about because yuck.

Also, I think that some famous country music star might be in the room next door to mine. Not that I’ve actually seen anyone I recognize, but I can hear someone playing the guitar in the next room, and I’m in Nashville, and I feel that it’s a logical conclusion to assume it’s a celebrity.

Perhaps I’ll go loiter in the hallway and see if I can confirm my suspicions.

I’ll be back tomorrow with Fashion Friday and OH IS IT GOING TO BE GOOD.

I don’t really know that, but here’s hoping.

Oh, and if you want to read about the DVD taping, you can go on over to Allaccess.

A head cold and an airplane flight.

I woke up yesterday morning and have never been more certain that a tiny elf with a sledgehammer had invaded my sinus cavity. So I resorted to desperate measures and took a Zyrtec-D even though I knew that that much pseudoephedrine would cause me to have insomnia and possible hallucinations for the next five days.

Gulley was going to take me to the airport and she showed up at the house as I finished packing my second suitcase. We had already planned to stop at Starbucks on the way to the airport and as we stood in line she took note of the manic look in my eye, my trembling hands and said, “Maybe you shouldn’t order any coffee.”

Oh, but did I heed that piece of advice?

No ma’am. I did not. Girlfriend wanted a non-fat Mocha.

And, thus, I spent the rest of the day completely jacked up.

Hopefully, it will wear off before tomorrow, but if someday you find yourself watching a Vicki Courtney Bible study and see some girl talking 180 miles an hour with a wild look in her eyes, you’ll know why.

The worst part is the plane ride still made me feel like my ears were about to cave in. Apparently, I pseudoephedrined in vain.

As I was getting off the plane, I met one of the other ladies who is going to be a part of the taping and all she had was a carry-on bag. I said, “Please tell me that you checked another bag because I checked two suitcases”.

Nope, she didn’t check a bag. All she brought was her carry-on.

I humbly bow to her packing skills and lack of OCD.

However, once I arrived at the hotel, all my sinus and OCD problems were forgotten because, oh my word, I adore this hotel. Look at my room.

It is a rare hotel that can provide adequately for all my pillow needs.

And check this out.

The elusive fitted bottom sheet.

I’d heard that it existed but had rarely seen it with my own eyes.

Mainly because they don’t have them at the Days Inn.

But, wait, there’s more.

A shower cap AND a grooming kit.

I don’t know why I don’t use a shower cap in my day to day life, but when I find them in hotel rooms I think they are a little gift straight from heaven.

As for the grooming kit, I was curious to see what type of grooming could be done with the contents of that small package. I mean, if all you need for good grooming is in that small box then why the heck have I been hauling around a huge toiletries bag all these years?

Two cottonballs and two Q-tips.

Well sure. If you’re the MacGyver of hygiene.

Anyway, we’re having a great time so far and I’m going to try to get some cool stuff up on the Allaccess blog during the day today. Rumor has it that there is even someone to work on our hair and makeup, which is fortunate since I took a calculated risk and didn’t pack my hot rollers.

Or my Q-tips.

Y’all have a great day.

I will be playing the star-making role of Bible study attendee, which will involve some nodding of my head and listening intently. Fingers crossed that I don’t screw it up or it will be the end of my career as Bible study attendee #2.

For the trip, I am taking an unprecedented TWO suitcases. This is mainly due to the email I got from the wardrobe person who asked that we bring five different outfits complete with all shoes and accessories.

Oh please. I bring five different outfits complete with accessories for an overnight visit. I’ve packed at least ten different wardrobe options including things I haven’t worn since 2002 but decided they might come in handy. By the time I actually get on the plane I may have even packed my denim vest from college because what if I need it for the first time since 1994?

Basically, this whole thing has jet-propelled my OCD to new levels, which has involved making several very concise, detailed lists that proved to be totally pointless as I just threw in everything from my closet that I’ve ever worn or thought about wearing.

Anyway, I spent most of the day yesterday trying to get ready for the trip. I realized we were completely out of bread, eggs, and York Peppermint Patties. Since these are the core requirements of our household I felt like I should go to the store to ensure that my people wouldn’t be living like savages while I’m gone.

While I made a quick trip through the HEB, I heard a familiar song start playing over the sound system and I started humming along before I even knew what song it was.

And then it hit me.

“Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer.

Seriously? “Hot Stuff” is now grocery store music? As if it were something by Air Supply?

All I know is that when “Hot Stuff” was first released I had no idea what Donna Summer meant when she said she was “looking for some hot stuff, baby, this evening”, but I knew it was something racy because I wasn’t allowed to listen to it.

And by the time I knew what she probably meant, the song was banished to “K-Tel’s Greatest Hits of the 70’s” and I was busy listening to Color Me Badd.

Don’t act like you don’t know who I’m talking about.

As I walked the aisles of HEB yesterday, I couldn’t help but wonder if it would make Donna sad to know her classic anthem is now being played to housewives everywhere who hear the words “I’m looking for some hot stuff, baby, this evening”, and it just serves as a reminder that they don’t know what they’re cooking for dinner tonight.

How are you?

I am congested and spent most of the day Sunday feeling like death was imminent.

As of now, that’s also my plan for Monday.

I’ll keep you posted.

Back in the days when I was a drug rep, I had an immune system most people would envy. I spent my days sitting in overheated waiting rooms while people laden with the flu bug sneezed all around me and NOTHING. I laughed in the face of the sickness and germs. HA! You’ll have to do better than a giant petri dish disguised as a waiting room to get me sick.

But when Caroline was two, I put her in preschool where kids trade germs like peanut butter sandwiches and pacifiers and I’ve been sick ever since. Perhaps I should buy some echinachea or hose myself down with bleach.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to whine about my head cold/pneumonia.

Actually, yes, I did mean to whine about it because no one in my house is concerned that I have allergies/yellow fever. Only the internet can pity me now.

Anyway, about two weeks ago, I took Caroline to a birthday party at the gym where she takes a Cheer/Tumble class. I have always believed that a girl needs to learn the fine art of spirit fingers and applying glitter to the corners of your eyes at a young age.

While Caroline was busy trying to flip herself over various devices, I talked to another mom who told me she had just enrolled her daughter in Karate classes. She’d actually gone to the Karate school with the intent of enrolling her youngest son because, in her words, “he’s a kid that’s probably going to get beat up a lot”, but the instructors evaluated her daughter as well and deemed her a “karate prodigy”. They agreed to take her son, but only if she’d also let them teach her daughter.

I’m not sure how you determine someone is a karate prodigy, but I guess that’s why I don’t teach karate.

Well, that and the fact that everything I know about karate I learned from Karate Kid I. WAX ON, WAX OFF.

But people, if you can’t learn about the martial arts from Ralph Macchio and Arnold from “Happy Days” then I’m not sure Karate is for you.

Anyway, this mom told me that I should think about signing Caroline up for Karate since she’s so athletic and energetic. I had to agree that it sounded like something Caroline might enjoy. I’d just never considered karate because, well, it’s karate and I couldn’t fight my way out of a paper bag, plus it doesn’t involve glitter or pom-poms.

On the way home from the party I asked Caroline if she wanted to try a Karate class and she immediately answered, “YES! I WANT TO DO THAT INSTEAD OF BALLET!”

SOLD to the girl in the booster seat in the back of the car.

Caroline and I went to observe a class last week and found out that Saturday was “Bring a Friend, Break a Board” day at the Cobra Kai Dojo, so I made plans for her to attend.

And guess what? She totally broke a board using a move called a hammer fist.

I think it’s just a matter of time before she starts wearing pants that look like the American flag and saying things like, “You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys?”

While I stand beaming with pride on the side and cheer her on with spirit fingers.

Yesterday, I drove to a little town outside of San Antonio and met Jennifer from Conversion Diary for lunch. She was just as funny and smart as I thought she’d be based on reading her blog and I was so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone.

And by comfort zone, I mean sitting on my couch catching up on the latest “Project Runway” while eating a bag of Sour Patch Kids.

Anyway, Jennifer and I had an exceptional conversation on a variety of topics while we dined on very mediocre Mexican food.

I’ve had some sinus issues over the last several days because, even though it’s still hot and miserable outside, my fall allergies have kicked in. As lunch progressed, I noticed that my right ear was becoming increasingly stopped up and I really hoped I wasn’t screaming at poor Jennifer. My ear impairment had left me with no volume awareness.

After lunch, I got in my car to drive home and since I was all alone I cranked up the radio LOUD and began to sing along. It was delightful.

However, did I mention that my right ear was stopped up? And that the stoppage caused me to really hear myself singing?

This is where I humbly apologize to the dear woman who sat in front of me last Sunday morning as I belted out “Mighty to Save” loud and proud.

And I can’t even think about the fact that I’ve sat directly behind Priscilla Shirer and Beth Moore while I sang at the top of my lungs. It’s a grief to heavy to bear.

Anyway, let’s talk fashion. It will assuage my sorrow.

1. Karen asks: “Help me! I am a shoe idiot. I bought a pair of black pants and I cannot figure out what sort of shoes to wear with them during the winter. They aren’t dressy enough for the black dress boots I wore with my dress pants last year. I usually wear brown leather shoes of some sort with jeans during the winter, but brown doesn’t go with black. Does it?”

You are correct. Brown does not go with black.

I’ve been doing my own research in a quest to find a good, black shoe for everyday wear. I spend the whole summer in my flip-flops and when the weather turns cooler, I need a comfortable shoe that won’t cause my toes to have hypothermia.

I have narrowed down my decision to something like this. Or this. Or maybe these.

If you’re looking for something a little dressier, then you could try something like this.

And if you want something a little more fun, then you could try these.

The key to the right casual look is to find something that’s either flat or maybe has a wedge heel. Personally, I always prefer a heel, but sometimes the reality of running after a child takes precedence and I have to forsake three extra inches for practicality.

2. Amy asks: “I love the look of a ballet flat and that moccasins are making a comeback. What I am wondering is, as a resident of Illinois, what do you wear with the ballet flat or moccasin (if being worn with jeans or pants)? Are there any appropriate socks to wear with them, or knee-highs or what?

I’ll tell you what not to wear. Tube socks.

Honestly, I’m not totally sure about the right solution to this problem. We all know that shoe designers don’t really care about function and practicality, mainly because they’re men and what do they care if women have on uncomfortable shoes?

My inclination is to tell you that what you need are some trouser socks. Either some fun ones like these or some sensible ones like these.

But, let’s be honest, trouser socks are really just glorified knee-highs and I’ve been to Illinois in the winter time. I don’t know that a sheer layer of nylon is going to provide that much extra warmth.

So I recant my earlier statement, go with a tube sock. Or a pair of Uggs.

Anyone else have a better idea? Northern girls? Let us know the secret to fashionably warm feet whether you’re wearing a skirt or jeans.

I’m going to have to end on that note because my very own little fashionista just wandered in here wearing her “Cutie Pie” pajamas and needs her mama.

Y’all have a great Friday!

Stay tuned for next week when I will discuss my dining room chairs.

Here is a picture of the newly cleaned couch.

If you don’t like it, please don’t mention it because I am stuck with it for at least the next thirteen years. At which time I can load it on to a UHaul and send it off to college with Caroline. It will be perfect for all the Bible studies I’m sure she’ll host in her apartment.

It really is a great couch. Very comfortable and, apparently, truly wash and wear. Everything comes off and can go in the washing machine. I had to pull up the cushions because I couldn’t remember who made it. Clearly, I am all about brand loyalty.

Anyway, it’s by a company called Lee Industries. I highly recommend their furniture and they should feel free to send me an upholstered chair and ottoman in exchange for the shout out.

Y’all have a great day! I’ll be back tomorrow with Fashion Friday. We’ll be discussing shoes and some other stuff.

If you think I’m kidding, then let me confess that I just wrote an entire post about the fact that I washed the slipcovers on my couch this week.

In fact, the following is the post I just wrote and then, as I proofread it, caused me to fall into a deep sleep. I feel the need to include it as proof that I’m not exaggerating about how little I have to say.

Six years ago, I ordered a couch.

Honestly, I will count it as one of the great highlights of my life. Or at least my week.

By the way, I was going to title that post “The Couch”.

Sometimes my life makes me sad.

***Edited to add that I’m not really sad. I mean, yes, I’m sad that my wordsmithing abilities have taken leave and all I could think to write about was my couch, but not sad in the traditional sense. I just didn’t want y’all feeling bad for me because it’s not like the heel broke off my favorite pair of shoes or anything tragic like that.

And let me tell you, people around here take their carpool seriously.

I first heard about the importance of carpool from my labor and delivery nurse at the hospital. Actually, that’s not true. It’s been well documented that my labor and delivery nurse was a minion of Satan and she wouldn’t even let me get an epidural, much less offer helpful transportation tips.

Truth be told, I used to think some of the moms were being a little overly dramatic (something that I NEVER, EVER AM!) when they went on and on about making sure your child was in a carpool. I heard horror stories about the long lines for single child pick up and dismissed them as suburban legends.

However, I decided a carpool wasn’t a bad thing. I mean, who doesn’t want a few mornings a week where you can just stay at home in your pajamas as opposed to driving your child to school in your pajamas?

So my friend Julie and I decided that we would establish a carpool of two. Our reasons for this were two-fold.

1. I drive a Volvo. I can only fit one other child in my backseat.

2. We knew we’d always be running too late to pick up an additional child.

Let me tell you that carpool has been the hand of God in my life. People weren’t kidding about the single child pick up line. I wonder how many mothers have been driven to stash tequila and a stack of US Weekly’s in their glove compartment due to the extensive wait to pick up their child?

Carpool is saving me from a life of wasted time and bad tabloids.

Not to mention it has a high entertainment value because the conversations between Caroline and her friend S. are priceless. Take this gem for example:

S: “There’s this girl in my class who is REALLY BOSSY, like SO BOSSY. But she told me I was bossy and I told her that I’m not bossy, I just like to tell everyone what they need to be doing.”

Caroline: “When somebody tells me that I’m bossy, I just tell them, ‘Well, my dress is prettier than yours.’”

Carpool.

Did I mention it’s also a great time to work on appropriate responses and social skills?