A little bit of backstory to start. In November 2022, my Facebook account was hacked. I know exactly when it began, as I had a strange “you must change your password” message. My Facebook account and my Instagram account were linked together, and whatever they did once they got inside was so bad, Meta would not give me my account back. At all. I tried everything short of working with a lawyer on it.

What a nightmare. My Facebook account was 16 years old at that point. My Instagram account was 12 years old. If you look at my decline in posting on this blog, it aligns with those time periods.

I have found the silver lining in it all, as it has been nice to have a fresh start. It is like moving houses, you don’t notice what all you have until you have to pack it up and find a place for it in your new home.

The only part that still bothers me is all the content that I gave Meta that is now just … GONE. From articles or quotes I found interesting to entire lengthy posts that really belonged on a blog. Photos from Instagram. Comments from friends. Gone.

The irony of all of this is that when I published my book in 2015, I talked about building on the land that you own – but I was not doing that myself.

Lesson learned.

My purpose here now is mostly selfish. Much like in the original days of blogging, actually. I want to write about what I think about, in a space where I know it will be here later. Probably. (Note to self: another post needs to be written about how none of us really own anything we put online, but not yet. No need to scare people completely.)

I want to use it like a Commonplace book, where I can reference and find things as I need them.

It will also function as a journal, a diary, a photo album. A place to put a good quote. A place to just keep my thoughts.

Here is my to do list as I get this site ready – in the form of links to articles and videos.

Commonplace Books, PARA Method, and a Second Brain

• Oscar Wilde and How He Kept His Commonplace Book: Insights on how to approach a Commonplace Book – and in a way, my foundation of what I want to do with this website.
• Beginner Commonplace Notebook Setup & Organization: Table of Contents? Categories? Well, that sounds a lot like Tags & Categories on my blog. I need to clean up the Categories here.
• Tiago Forte: Organize Your Digital Life with the PARA Method: I’ve followed Tiago’s work for some time. We will be discussing this.
• Index – The Easy Lookup for Information in Your Commonplace Book: More inspiration for indexing this content.
• How to Remember Everything You Learn: Part of what is driving me to build upo this site? THIS. My memory seems to be terrible lately.
• How To Keep a Commonplace Book of Wisdom: A way to hold on to Wisdom. Focus in on collections to understand diaries, journals, and more.
• My Box of Inspiration! How to Create a Commonplace Book: Another way to track what you’re thinking, using notecards. Help you synthesis and coordinate what you learn. These notecards remind me of when we did research papers in junior high.
• A Commonplace Book Will Revolutionize Your Life: This video just makes me excited about what I’m doing here.
• What’s In My Commonplace Book? – 2023 Edition: Using the Remarkable 2 for a Commonplace Book, similar to my Blog goal.

Productivity

• How to Stay Focused and Get Things Done: There are a lot of things to do on this list, and I need to set myself up for success and getting it all done.
• How to Fall in Love with Your Planner: Great ideas, but wow. I don’t want my planner to be a scrapbook. No.
• The Most Overlooked Productivity Superpower: Hours don’t equal outcome. Overworking does not make you more productive.

WordPress Design Updates

This site is using a Block Editor theme at this point, but now there are Patterns. I need to figure out what they are and what to do with them.

• OllieWP: Everything you need to know about WordPress Patterns: This will help me get going.
• WordPress Block Themes: Don’t make this BEGINNERS mistake!
• WordPress Block Themes are amazing : I know I want to use custom post types at some point here. Fantastic information on them.

Close the Backdoor in my WordPress blog

• WPBeginner Tutorial: Find the Backdoor and Fix It: If you look at my old posts, there are a lot of injected links. I’ve already taken some of these steps, but I need to go through this tutorial and make sure this is resolved. I also need to check my server itself to make sure everything is ok.
• WPBeginner: WordPress Security Guide – Step by Step (2023): Oh yes, we need to get SECURITY in here too.
• WPBeginner: 12 Signs Your WordPress Site is Hacked (And How to Fix It): More tips that I need to review.
• How to Find and Remove Spam Link Injection in WordPress?: They may be a bit biased, as they offer the plugin needed. However, I have thousands of pages that have spam links injected. I need help.
• Jetpack: Has Your WordPress Site Been Hacked? How to Check & Fix It: See above. Thousands of pages. Help.
• BuzzFeed News: Hackers Are Breaking Into Websites And Adding Links To Game Google: I mean, I guess it’s good to know I’m not alone?
• WordPress Website Hacked? 10 Steps to Get You Back on Track: More solid tips.
• Andrea Whitmer: How to Find Out if Your WordPress Site has Been Hacked: More ideas on security. I also like the “Museum” concept and the note at the top that the article is old and might be outdated. For a site that is 23 years old, this could be a good addition.

Twenty years ago today, I started this blog.

Originally known as BlahBlahBlog, and later renamed BigPinkCookie, my first blog post was possibly my most groundbreaking:

This was actually my second attempt at blogging, after I was inspired initially by the Digital Divas to blog by hand coding an HTML page and replacing it each time I added to it.

Thankfully Blogger came along, and then Greymatter, and MovableType, and eventually WordPress.

As I woke up this morning, I started to think of all of the things that blogging has impacted in my life.

Without blogging, I never would have met a community of friends, many of which I’m still connected with today.

I never would have met my husband, Mike. Thank you Ann for that connection.

I never would have met Matt Mullenweg and named WordPress. (Hey, Matt? Remember when I thought you were crazy because you said it would change the world? Yeah. You were right and I was wrong. 30% of the Internet and still growing.)

Without it, I wouldn’t have started sharing my photography & had the courage to start a business – where I’ve since photographed hundreds of weddings and thousands of portraits – touching so many other lives – and my blog helped me connect with those people.

The lessons I’ve learned from blogging + social media + business are things that I’ve tested over and over again with others, and formed the foundation of my coaching business.

Without blogging, I wouldn’t have had 20 years of adventures. I wouldn’t be ME.

I dreamed back in high school of being a photographer, a teacher, and working with computers. Back then, you couldn’t have all of that. I never could have imagined the future I’d have, where I have been able to blend all three of those in to a perfect medley of my business.

Twenty years. I can’t believe it has been twenty years.

Thank you to all of you reading this now, who have read so many other things I’ve written over the years. None of this would be possible without YOU.

People I’ve visited, shared a meal with, spent a trip with. I’ve watched their families grow and change. We’ve supported one another in times of joy, and times of sorrow.

A community – completely unlike one we could have ever imagined 20 years ago.

Blogging made me believe that I could do anything.

My first photography clients, and my biggest fans, came from my blogging circle. I’ve traveled to England, Bermuda, and around the USA to photograph people that first came in to my life through blogging.

Social media came along; Twitter, then Facebook, and Instagram, and it all changed how we blogged. The posts became faster, the reactions and interactions more spontaneous, and blogging for many has evolved or faded away.

Blogs have evolved, which isn’t surprising for a medium that didn’t even exist 20 years ago.

Blogging is what made my life as I know it possible.

My business, my work, has always been focused around ME. Who I am has always been at the core of it. I have never hidden myself away from my clients. Back in 2007 when I started my photography business, I went back and forth about consolidating this blog with that blog. It made no sense that they were separated, but I wasn’t ready to let this site go – so it languished instead, neglected.

Lately, I have found myself writin I have gone crazy trying to figure out what I want to do about that blog, this blog, my photography from my road trip, Vivid & Brave … well, you get the picture.

I finally asked my smart friends. I do actually have the smartest friends on the planet. Most of them said to consolidate EVERYTHING. It is far too confusing for them to have to go to different places to get a piece of me here and there. I completely agreed with them, yet it still didn’t feel right.

Then my friend Bobbi asked me about upcoming conferences I am going to, and what did I want to brand? THAT question was easy to answer. I want the world to know about the work that Stephanie & I are doing at Vivid & Brave!

So my plan was to focus my personal writing at my photography blog, my travel blog posts at a travel blog (very niche focused so that Google liked it) and put all of my energy in to Vivid & Brave. Easy!

Until I started spinning again.

I woke up this morning and really wanted to write a blog post about hotel sex and why it is so incredible. No, I did not have hotel sex last night. Maybe that was why I was thinking about it being so grand? Anyways… that post didn’t belong on a blog where my photography clients might see it before they see anything else. It doesn’t belong on a travel photography blog (although it is hotel related). CRAP. Once again? The circles were back. I was spinning. Again.

Stephanie & I finally had a chance to get on Skype and chat this evening. As soon as I told her my dilemma? She pointed out that those posts belong on Vivid & Brave. She has no problem with me putting them there. We both agreed that as we ask our coaching clients to be crazy vulnerable with us, we need to be just as vulnerable with them. We don’t have many “rules” for the Group Coaching, but the biggest one is tolerance and understanding. If I write about hotel sex and someone runs away from the post? Well … they probably shouldn’t be working with me anyways. Yes, this is true for my boudoir clients too – but I have BIG DREAMS for 2014, and they involve Vivid & Brave. Every last one of them.

Finally, the spinning has stopped.

So it is with that that my personal blog posts – and all my energy and focus – are moving to the Vivid & Brave blog. I realized today that part of why this decision has been SO difficult every time I face it is because this blog is such a part of me. It saw me through the ending of a tumultuous relationship that left me heartbroken, and emotionally broken as well. It has brought me hundreds (thousands?) of friends that I wouldn’t know otherwise. It is because of my blog that I met my friend Ann, who tipped me off on this great guy Mike who was living in London at the time but was moving back to Houston. It was through this blog that I announced our engagement, 10 years ago yesterday. Through this blog that I met Elaine, a month before I met Mike, who embarked on the adventure of being a professional photographer with me. The list goes ON AND ON.

However, it is time. As I start the new year, it is time to move on to other things. Mostly, it is time to stop feeling guilt about how little I update this site, how much I want to share but how my focus is pulled elsewhere. My focus is pulled elsewhere because I have changed. I have grown a LOT in the past 13+ years since I started this blog back in 2000.

I have changed.

It is time to close the book on this blog. Time to put it up on the shelf and focus completely on the new story.

This site will live on, remaining here online. I’m going to take the name back to being BigPinkCookie because that is what it has been for the past 10+ years. I’ll link to it from time to time, and reminisce in the memories about it — but it is time to start a new book.

One that is Vivid & Brave.

“What is your biggest fear in business?”

My friend and Philadelphia wedding photographer Mike Allebach asked that question today in the Brandsmash Facebook group. It stopped me.

Fear? I don’t have fear in my business. Ok, ok, I mean – I have the fears everyone has. Will there be customers? Will some major catastrophe happen and shut my business down? But I have systems in place for a lot of things. I have an amazing network of friends locally and nation-wide that have my back. I don’t have fear about my business.

“Letting my business take over my life, no longer having free time.”

It is so easy as a business owner to slide in to this mentality of it consuming everything. What I offer to my clients is built around my passions, so it is a part of me as much as my eyes are blue.

A few hours later, it hit me.

I have a far bigger fear — my story not being heard.
(Which of course starts with me telling it.)

I’ve spent a lot of the past six weeks going in circles. I have stories I want to tell, and choosing where to tell them is hard. I know I want them on my blog and not on Facebook, even though it is easier to just slide them in there. Faster. Always open. Quicker feedback from people.

But Facebook is so transient. Fleeting. My stories belong on my blog.

Having so much that I want to say leaves me silent. I don’t know where to begin.

Then there are the stories that overlap with the stories of others, and the blurred line of what I can share and what is not my story to tell.

If I want my story to be heard, I need to tell it. Plain & simple. I should get on that, shouldn’t I?

I thought long & hard about this week’s Things You Should Know Thursday. If we’re going to be BFFs, you should know that I need to be heard.

My goal for 2014 is to tell more of my story. Here. On Vivid & Brave. When working with my mentoring clients. When working with my photography clients. It is all about the story and being heard – and hearing them. We all have stories to share. I can’t wait to see what the new year holds.

My makeup artist asked me on Wednesday if I knew any event photographers. Uh … yeah. ME. (5+ years of weddings? Yes. Events.) She was doing makeup for an event, and they needed a photographer. I exchanged emails with the event planner, and at first all I knew was her name and the time of the event; at first, I did not know the client’s name.

Yesterday I was annoyed at myself. Events? They don’t fit my “Why” of helping women grow their confidence and rediscover their beauty — I was thinking of handing it over to a friend. After all, Stephanie & I are are in the middle of preparing a series for Vivid & Brave on preparing for the new year. I have a lot to do between now & Monday.

Then I got the email back with the name, and discovered it was a luncheon for Emily’s List.

I AM SO GLAD I WAS THERE.

Know when the world keeps pinging you and trying to send you messages? This summer when I was at BlogHer, I almost went in to the panel about how to run for office. Hahaha… who do I think I am? I could never run for office. I didn’t attend it.

Today’s event? All about encouraging women to run for office. And then I flashed back to my activities in high school – I was in a model state government program in Illinois; I was selected as an “Outstanding” delegate for the Model UN program in Houston. (Pretty big deal when you’re one of 5 selected out of a hundred or so.) I went to Close Up in Washington DC.

On my road trip, I said many times that it was easier to understand how certain regions voted certain ways when I spent time in their geography.

As the gears were turning and I was talking with State Senators today from three different states, I realized — why NOT me?

The moment that brought it full circle for me though — irony at its best — was when Ohio State Senator Nina Turner started talking about women, and how women are often the most critical of themselves. We as women tear each other down, and it is terrible! It is time that we come together in the sisterhood circle. “It is the Sister Circle that will make the difference.”

Well, crap. THAT? That is exactly everything I am about.

WHY NOT ME.

WHY NOT YOU?

I’m tired of a government full of men, mainly white men, deciding my fate. The current state of affairs in this country is horrible. I considered more than once trying to figure out how to stay in Canada this fall when I was in Calgary, just to get away from the insanity.

Maybe, instead, it is time to stand up and start figuring out how to change it. What I can do.

The start? Helping to get people out to vote. I’ve complained for years about people not turning out to vote. As someone said today, Texas shouldn’t be called a “Red State” when only 20% of the voters turn out – it should be called a “Non-Voting State”. 20%!!!!! That is just pathetic!!! Texas is LAST in Voter Turnout. Next election, when someone tells me that “they don’t bother because their vote doesn’t matter” I will point out that they are told to believe that, but it is not true. Not true AT ALL.

Beyond that? We will see. I need to spend some time thinking about this. I’ve always believed you have NO right to complain about something if you’re not willing to work towards a solution to fix it.

Why not me?

I didn’t realize it until this morning, but this year has taught me one HUGE lesson more than anything else. GRATITUDE.

I’m grateful for my amazing husband, Mike. For my parents and my son. My in-laws. I’m so very grateful for their support, their encouragement, their wisdom and advice. I’m grateful for the life we have built for ourselves. For them giving me room to roam, and for making sure I know that they are always, always there for me even if they are 2,000 fair go casino bonus miles away or just in the other room.

I’m grateful for my incredible friends. The secret to going on a four month long road trip? Friends along the journey and friends waiting back at home. Both the ones you’ve known for years and the new ones that you make. The ones you share meals with, who let you stay on their couch or in their guest room, who loan you a washing machine when you need it, and give you a hug when you need it even more. The ones that greet you when you return as if you have never left.

I’m grateful for this country that I live in. I have learned so much this year about the geography of the land and how it influences the people that live there. I have a far greater understanding of the Western spirit than I ever did before, and I appreciate it so much.

I’m grateful for nature. In unexpected places, I found my sanctuary. My peace. My joy. Myself. From mountains to valleys, to the street that I live on.

I’m grateful for my work, that having a camera in my hand is my “job”, worthy of quotes because it rarely seems like a job at all. That magical black box has taken me places for 30+ years now, and I can’t imagine it not being a part of my life. It is only within the past six years though that it has helped take me far beyond my wildest dreams. It is surreal some days.

This gratitude is not something that I think about only on the day that the nation sets aside for giving thanks. I have felt it rather intensely every minute of the past 5 months, since I stepped out the door to head to Portland. I thought it was going to just be a quick road trip. A little vacation. I had no idea what it was really going to mean to me, and I’m still working on putting it in to words.

If we’re going to be BFFs, you should know that while I might not always say it out loud, my heart is overflowing with gratitude. My life is more than I ever dreamed it could be, and I am grateful for you being a part of that.

Things You Should Know Thursdays, or #TYSKT, (which Thanksgiving just happens to fall on) was inspired by a journal prompt at Vivid & Brave – join us in sharing things we should know about you if we’re going to be BFFs.

Above: Yosemite National Park, a hike in solitude along near Lembert Dome.
Below: My beloved Grand Tetons in the summertime.

Earlier today, well, actually it is after midnight so it was yesterday, not today, I was thinking about it again, and I came up with a few ideas that I didn’t stop to write down.

So now that it is minutes away from midnight, I realized that I know EXACTLY what I should share this week! Things you should know about me if we’re going to be BFFs? I’ve never been able to keep up with a daily, weekly, or even monthly meme for posting. (I know, irony in trying to start one myself, right?)

I tried to do a 365 photo a day project? NO. I think I made it to day 8 casinoluck.ca. I was going to photography my dinner every day for a year. NO. I made it, sadly, to only the second dinner. So the fact that I’ve managed to write this post every Thursday? Brilliant!

Things You Should Know Thursday was inspired by one of the daily prompts in Vivid & Brave. Check out the site for all of the details!

If we’re going to be BFFs, you should know that I really suck at setting goals.

I’m working through a course right now for my photography business, and I’m stuck on week 1, lesson 1. What is tripping me up? All of the questions are about setting goals. What goals do you want for your business? What goals do you want for your family? What goals do you want for your life?

Uhm, I guess that filling in all the blanks with, “To be happy!” is NOT an acceptable response.

I’ve been pretty successful in my life and my photography business for the past 6+ years. I am happy with it, it has been profitable. I am mostly happy in my personal life. Perfect? No. But happy. I just suck at formally setting goals.

Back in 2010 when I met MeRa Koh, she asked me what I wanted to be doing in 10 years. I stared at her with a blank look. Uhhh… still living? Fortunately she then flipped the question over and asked what I did NOT want to be doing in 5 years, and *bam!* immediate answer. I can tell you what I don’t want to do right away.

Part of it is the fact that I’ve been a part of this internet world for too long. Time passes at breakneck speed. Where will things even be in 5 years? Who knows?!

If I dig deeper though, I know exactly where it started. I was in a relationship for 8 years that was tumultuous. I’d make plans on Wednesday for Friday, and they would fall through. I don’t deal well with plans being changed, so I stopped making plans — but even worse? I stopped setting goals.

I’m working on changing this — I believe goals are quite important. How can I know how I’m going to get to where I want to go if I don’t have goals?

So for this Things You Should Know About Me Thursday, I’m coming clean. I suck at setting goals, but I’m trying to learn how to do it. I think it will make me a better person.

Things You Should Know Thursdays was inspired by a Vivid & Brave journaling prompt. Our goal with the Vivid & Brave program is to help creative women dig deeper and find their authentic voice — this is mine. If you share a thing I should know about you, be sure to come back here and leave a comment so I can link to you too! The hashtag for social media is #TYSKT.

I love to be cold. LOVE IT. I know, really ironic that I live in Houston, isn’t it?

I sleep best when it is cold in my house. Which means that when winter comes to Houston, I don’t turn on the heat for as long as possible. If it is 62 degrees in my house, I am happy. I can bundle up in my handknit socks, layer on the blankets, and be all snug and cozy. I only turn on the heat when it is risk that the pipes might freeze so it needs to be warmer in the house.

One of the things you should know about me if you’re going to be my BFF is that if you come to my house in Houston in the winter? I am going to freeze you out. You don’t get to do that most of the year in Houston, so be warned. I’ll be sure to offer you a snuggly blanket to keep you warm!

Photo above at Mount Whitney, California, on the Whitney Portal Road. Mount Whitney is the highest point in the contiguous United States.

Things You Should Know Thursdays was inspired by a Vivid & Brave journaling prompt. If you share a thing I should know about you, be sure to come back here and leave a comment so I can link to you too! The hashtag for social media is #TYSKT.

See a penny, pick it up — all the day you’ll have good luck. I can NOT pass a penny by if I see one on the ground. EVER. I spotted this one as I was going down a set of stairs in Portland, Oregon. The other day I picked one up in cold snow melt water in Mammoth Lakes, California. No matter where it is, even in cold water, I will always stop.

If you ask me, I’ll tell you that I’m not superstitious. Guess it is time to admit to myself that I actually am, because I know it is my lucky day when I spot that penny!

PS – I avoid sidewalk cracks as well.

Things You Should Know Thursday was inspired by a prompt on Vivid & Brave. Join us in sharing things we should know about YOU! If you write a post on your blog about this, leave a comment so I can check it out! I’d love to learn more about you too! Lighthearted and fun, or serious and in depth about it, that is up to you.