big spoon little spoon

Spring Cleaning & Other Lofty Goals

2012-02-07T12:30:00.004-06:00

This and other awesome cartoons available on Hyperbole & A Half
© Allie Broch

Hello again, blog world! As much as I hate to admit it, I can't do everything. I certainly try, but only succeed in having a ton of unfinished projects and a desire to sit on the sofa like a vegetable at the end of the workday. Blogging has certainly been on the bottom of my "to-do" list over the past year. In an effort to hold myself accountable for some of these unfinished and important "to-dos", I'm going to blog about it. Double whammy! Super exciting, I know.

I'm issuing a challenge (to myself) to get Big Spoon and myself organized, purged and cleaned for Spring. Or as I like to say "clean all the things!" Now, let's be honest ... I don't clean all the things. I work a 40+ hour job and Big Spoon works tons more than I do, so we have a once-a-month cleaning service. I keep things tidy the rest of the time and do all the laundry and cooking.

That service makes it a lot easier for me to actually enjoy doing the rest of the things - laundry, cooking, organizing, decorating, social life, etc. We may not be able to afford it forever, but for now, I love it.

Moving on ...

{via Deal Seeking Mom}

I (attempt) to organize a monthly ladies' brunch and our February brunch will be held at the Spoon residence. Yay! Which also means I moved the cleaning service up a few days and must get my butt in gear to as far as this "challenge" goes. Here's my tentative outline for the week:

Week 1: February 6 - 12

• Paint the downstairs half-bathroom - priority
• Pack up the dishes in the breakfront and move breakfront away from dining room wall - priority
• Clean out and organize the under stairs closet  - would be nice to complete
• Clean out and organize the coat closet  - would be nice to complete
• Prep the dining room to be painted - would be nice to complete

Week 2: February 13 - 19

• Paint the dining room (before & after to come!) - priority
• Work on the DIY dining room art (project recap to come!)  - would be nice to complete
• Achievable tasks left over from Week 1 - would be nice to complet
• Set up for ladies' brunch! - priority

We'll see if I can pack all of that in to the next two weeks.

Anniversary Photo Book

2012-01-17T21:03:00.001-06:00

Better late than never ... we celebrated our first anniversary on 10.10.11 and had an anniversary shoot in November. I finally got around to making a photo book - I love Shutterfly!

Click here to view this photo book larger

Start your own Shutterfly Photo Book today.

Anniversary & Rock the Dress Shoot with Amber Rena Photography

2011-12-02T11:30:00.000-06:00

Way back in the summer of 2011, my younger sister had some adorable family portraits made by Amber Rena Photography. I have to tell you, I really wish I had know about her when we were planning our wedding. Not only is Amber insanely talented, she's great to work with!

Take a look at this gorgeousness!

Please do not reproduce without permission. © Amber Rena Photography

Big Spoon got really sick of listening to me whine for months about how much I hated our wedding photographer after how he made me feel and the shots that he "forgot" to take because the shot list was "in his head." We discussed that perhaps having a "Rock the Dress" shoot or some bridal portraits made would put the ghosts to rest. Ultimately, it did ... but I got over it loooong before the shoot with Amber Rena Photography, which was scheduled for November 12. Regardless, it was still a blast.

I decided to make the most of the photo shoot and trip to my grandparents' farm in Lafayette, TN by having some anniversary/couples shots done as well.

We had a blast! Here are five sneak peek shots from our photo shoot with Amber Rena Photography. I highly recommend Amber if you are looking for a fun, talented and affordable photographer for your wedding, engagement photos, Senior portraits or family photos.

Visit her website Amber Rena Photography or like her on Facebook for more information!

Please do not reproduce without permission. © Amber Rena Photography

Happy 1st Anniversary

2011-10-13T22:07:00.002-05:00

{One Love}

This week, we celebrated our very first anniversary. It didn't even cross my mind to blog about it. I think it goes without saying that Big Spoon and I have gotten a bit too busy to keep up a blog with any sort of consistency.

Our first year of marriage has been interesting - ups, downs, patience, frustration, and lots of love. I think we learn more and more about one another every day. There are things going on in our lives that I just can't disclose on the blog, but suffice it to say that Big Spoon Little Spoon isn't going away. We're gonna need this blog for a long time.

But it will change.

Just as quickly as it came upon me, the lust for wedding porn, wedding conversations, wedding anything went away. *Poof* Gone. We're married. It's great. We have pictures hanging in the house. We're moving on ....

I'm doing a Rock the Dress photo shoot in a few weeks. I wasn't completely satisfied with our wedding photos and we thought it would be a fun way to reconcile that and get a few anniversary shots as well. I'll post photos and introduce you to our photographer. She's quite talented and I'm very excited to work with her.

We had a great anniversary ... the Saturday before our actual special day, we had a couple's massage, dinner at Watermark, and dessert at Jeni's in East Nashville. On Monday, I made a special dinner. We ate our cake top (it was good!) and opened a bottle of wine from our honeymoon.

I'm very excited for what the next year holds for us.

Our Wedding: There's No Such Thing As Perfect

2011-09-01T23:15:00.000-05:00

From my perspective, almost every bride's wedding story has a hiccup or two, a few wedding-related regrets or things she might change if there were a magic time machine. I am no exception. If you aren't that bride - nothing you would change about your big day - consider yourself very lucky.

I did the interesting and frustrating dance of post-wedding blues, got over it and moved on to my married life. But, there was one thing about our wedding day that kept bothering me and I thought that I should write about it. After many long, deep discussions with Big Spoon and some encouragement from blogger friends, I drafted the post with every intention of spilling all the dirty details about why Nashville brides shouldn't hire my photographer.

I was poised to post it this very weekend, to break the long silence our blog has experienced.

And then I read this post by Avalon on Budget Savvy Bride.

A freaking hurricane curtailed every plan she had made for her wedding day, except one - she got married to the man she loves despite everything else falling apart. There is no doubt in my mind that she (and he) were seriously disappointed by how the wedding turned out, but there is also no doubt in my mind that she is a pragmatic woman who knows the difference between a wedding and a marriage.

I encourage you to go read this post. I don't recall anything as drastic as this during the Nashville floods, although I'm sure it happened to many a May bride, whether it was a reschedule, missing guest, missing vendors or maybe a cancellation. I don't know, but I read this post about this real couple and it broke my heart.

Avalon's post made me feel thankful and ashamed at the same time. Looking at the big picture, my wedding day was perfect. Not a hitch and exceptionally good weather. Someone else's experience won't ever change the way our photographer made me feel on our wedding day, but it sure did put me in a different frame of mind.

It's true that I didn't feel the way I expected to feel on our wedding day, but I feel like I've processed that fully at this point. I've grieved for my single self and take a great deal of joy in my life as a married woman. Other people caused me a great deal of stress on our wedding day and I allowed my expectations to get stomped on a little bit. That will never change, but my attitude can.

It really is all about the marriage. Big Spoon and I are coming up on our one year anniversary in about 40 days. It's been a great year, albeit with a great deal of changes for us on the horizon, but it's been a wonderful start to what I hope is a lifetime of happiness for us.

Thank you, Avalon, for sharing your story with the world and congratulations on your marriage. I feel a lot less inclined to self-indulgent bitching now after being reminded that much worse things happen to people who don't deserve them.

*If there are any Nashville brides who would like to discuss any of our wedding vendors, please feel free to drop us a line.

The All Natural Face Review

2011-07-22T20:03:00.006-05:00

I have a secret.

I stopped using department and drug store foundation this year. I still buy the occasional tube of mascara, but almost every make-up product I use on my face now comes from The All Natural Face.

Here's why: I have very sensitive, acne prone skin and terrible allergies. I used to loathe having to wear makeup at all to cover my acne scars because most makeups made everything so much worse; especially the black heads. Ewh.

I was first intrigued by The All Natural Face because their products are Vegan - free from harmful toxins and additives that your skin doesn't need. I started by ordering eyeshadow samples. A girl can never have too many options, right? They are phenomenal and the pigments are really vibrant. Their samples are low cost with low shipping and oh-so-generous!

After trying the eyeshadow, I decided to try the mineral makeup and a few other goodies. There are currently 59 shades of foundation, so you can easily find a perfect match. I used a different color every day for a week (the samples are that great!) and finally decided on Almond Goddess, which I have been wearing for several months now and LOVE IT. Not only is it non-toxic, it's highly affordable.

{image © The All Natural Face}

I also use the eyelid primer, salmon concealer (which is fantastic), stick concealer in my foundation shade, Angel Wings mineral veil along with my smattering of eyeshadow and blush samples. As soon as I've picked a few favorites, I fully intend to switch over to The All Natural Face blush and eyeshadow. Also, they run a great many promotions and email you with promo codes frequently. I love that!

The All Natural Face has some of the most reasonable prices for the quality of the product that I've seen. I highly recommend The All Natural Face as an inexpensive and natural alternative to drugstore and department store beauty products.

Nine Months Later ...

2011-07-08T23:04:00.010-05:00

No, not "that" kind of nine months. We're a long ways away from baby land. As of Sunday, we will be celebrating nine months of marriage!

I think it's time to come clean about something: I've kinda just let our blog go.

I gave up.

I gave up because I was sick and tired of weddings. And I was sick and tired of weddings because after 18 months of planning, it just that some things didn't turn out the way I had planned.

Now, I've talked to several Nashville newlyweds since my wedding. Almost every single one of them had a horror story to share, which was shocking because I had seen very few of them talk about it in the blogosphere. Don't get me wrong, I'm not calling anyone out by any means. Sometimes, it's better to just let it go. Maybe that's what these ladies are thinking. I think that too. Then I see some new photographer's gallery or a new wedding pop up with amazing this and nifty that and I start seeing red. Then I remind myself to let it go.

That's what I've been trying to do. Just let it go. But by doing so, I've lost any and all interest in keeping up with a blog. I have a wonderful new job, a loving, thoughtful husband and fantastic friends. I simply don't need this blog the way I once did and I've made no effort to convert it into a newlywed thing. I'm too busy for that. And do you all really care about my home renovations? And if every time I visit my own blog, I think about the things I've left unsaid, how healthy is that for me?

Probably not.

More than that, a part of me thinks that by keeping my mouth shut about some things, I'm doing a disservice to future brides and I won't put this blog (the wedding parts) to rest until I DO say something. (haha, get it.)

So here's the question? Do any of you want to read about the bad parts of my wedding day? Are you at all interested in what I have to say about the vendors I've quietly taken off my vendor list over there to the left? Because here's the thing, I sincerely doubt that I will have much more involvement in the Nashville wedding industry. Truly. I don't foresee myself launching that Etsy store anytime in the near future.

Do tell me your opinion and we'll keep this party going.

Do All the Things

2011-06-20T14:49:00.008-05:00

June is almost over. Oh-Em-Gee. This year is flying by ...

I'm beginning to wonder how I had time to do everything I did for our wedding, work and keep "real life" things going simultaneously. Sometimes, having an end goal really propels you and gives you the momentum necessary to complete a task. I find myself hoarding DIY projects like a squirrel hoards nuts for winter. I stick them all in a spare bedroom and close the door and say "one day soon, I'll finish them."

I was determined to wrap up all things wedding before the end of this month. That was a bit too ambitious on my part.

I'm still trying to order prints for our moms, enlargements for us and custom framing of special things, like invitations and programs. But, 8 months later, we have one wedding picture hanging up and our faces aren't even in it. 8 months after our wedding, my dress still hasn't been cleaned (or sold or moved). I haven't even started on our photo book, which, by the way, has an expiration date of October 28th (it's a Groupon).

Someone please tell me that it isn't just me, that I'm not as lazy as this sounds and that you were all still surrounded with post-wedding "chores"?

Knowing that I will be starting a new job next week - almost completely unrelated to what I've been doing for the past 7 years - is exciting and scary. It's going to be time-consuming and I'm worried that all my "to-dos" will go from "one day soon" to "someday".

Busy Little Spoon

2011-06-11T12:31:00.004-05:00

Well, hello there! It's been two months today since I've had time enough to even think about our blog. We've had a lot of things happen in 2011 already and I'm going to catch you up on life a Mr. & Mrs. Spoon.

February - I hosted a baby shower for my little sister to celebrate the upcoming birth of her first child and my new nephew. The very same weekend we got a new sister-in-law and step-niece, which was a complete surprise. My brother and his wife were married in Missouri in a private ceremony on Feb 18, 2011. Big Spoon and I were incredibly busy with our jobs. I picked up some freelance work and began a web design class.

March - I painted a mural in my soon-to-be nephew's nursery and on March 31, 2011, we welcomed baby Jayden into the world. I also sold a bunch of left over wedding stuff that month and made back around $200.

April - We purged the house of unwanted/unused items and took a car load full of stuff to Goodwill. My parents came down and helped me strip the kitchen of 16-year-old wallpaper. We painted, hung new curtains and began "refreshing" our home. I picked up another freelance job.

May - Big Spoon left for a five day conference in Canada and his parents came to visit over Memorial Day weekend. I got my portfolio together and went on a job interview (no small task, I assure you).

And here we are in June. Already?! I can't believe it. Big Spoon and I have been married for 8 months, I turn 29 tomorrow and best of all .... I HAVE A NEW JOB!

So, all in all, two months of being busy and not blogging has paid off. I hope to get back in the blogging groove soon, so if you're interested in newlywed life and hopefully a few home decor DIYs, we'll be here!

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad!

2011-04-11T22:22:00.006-05:00

{Not for personal use. Do not duplicate. NO permissions granted to use this photo}

Happy 30th (and 31st!) anniversary to my wonderful parents! They were married one year to the day they met in an intimate ceremony at my grandparent's house, surrounded by 30 of their nearest and dearest, including my eight-year-old half sister. It was a second marriage for them both and they beat the odds to a pulp. I'm so lucky to have their excellent example of a loving, supportive marriage. They really are each others' best friend.

Nesting Spoons: Happy Six Months

2011-04-10T19:29:00.005-05:00

Six months ago today, we were doing this ... And this ... I love Big Spoon and I'm so happy to be his wife.

20 Things That I Would Never Change About Our Wedding Day

2011-04-01T08:00:00.002-05:00

1) Planning our wedding myself with Big Spoon. It was still ours, regardless of the flaws.

2) Seeing Big Spoon holding my bouquet in the rose garden, waiting for me and looking all sexy in his tux.

3) Taking the pictures before the ceremony. I still think it's better than waiting until after because people won't wait for you. They leave.

4) Having our closest family, friends & colleagues there to celebrate with us.

5) Our date. I love 10.10.10. Everyone who thinks it's cliché and silly can suck it.

6) My grandfather's words of wisdom in the receiving line.

7) Big Spoon putting my wedding band on backwards after digging it out of his tux pocket. So cute!

8) Crying while I read my vows to him. And kissing him afterward, even though I'm supposed to wait until the end.

9) Our officiant and celebrant. They were perfect and our choice was deeply meaningful to us.

10) My flowers! OMG ... my flowers were AMAZING. Auh-ma-ZING!!!

11) My cake was gorgeous! and tasty!

12) Our caterer rocked everyone's socks. I love Rita.

13) My DIY details. Everything looked wonderful. Especially the coffee filter pomanders. My friends RULE.

14) Writing our ceremony and vows. I'm totally biased, but ours was the prettiest sounding wedding I've ever been to ;)

15) My dress. I loved my dress and didn't want to take it off.

16) Choosing to not cover my tattoo.

17) Taking lots of little moments with Big Spoon (mostly to calm me down) and feeling very close to him that day.

18) Paying a recent film school graduate to shoot our wedding. We have our vows on DVD and that's truly special.

19) Waiting to go on our honeymoon.

20) Having a wedding. I wouldn't change it, no matter how many times I wonder if a courthouse wedding would have been easier.

Our Wedding: Best Memories

2011-03-31T08:00:00.005-05:00

Sometimes, when I reflect on our wedding, I have a tendency to dwell on those things that went wrong. Over the past five months, I've made an effort to do less of that and try to remember more things that I really liked or enjoyed about our day. After all, we put in a lot of hard work to make the day special and in many ways, it was exactly that. Here are some of my favorites from our wedding day ...

Advice from my grandfather. Between the two of us, all but one set of grandparents have passed away. I was terrified during our 18 months of planning that my 80-year-old maternal grandparents would be unable to attend the wedding. As luck would have it, both my Papa and Granny were there for the entire wedding. As they came through the receiving line, my Papa took one of my hands and one of Big Spoon's. With many tears, he told us simply to "just love one another. Love one another every day. That's what we've done and we've been happily married for 62 years." That was the most special thing anyone said that day, aside from my husband's vows. I'll never forget it and I tear up every time I think about it.

Big Spoon cried when I read my vows to him. I really didn't expect that.

My handsome husband. Speaking of Big Spoon, as memorable as our "first look" was before picture taking, my clearest memory is of his face during the ceremony and our first dance. That's one of the first things I think about when I reflect. Just his handsome face.

My flowers blew me away. My friend Jasmin of Artisan Flowers is so amazingly talented. We became friends at our first design job and she gave me one of the most incredible wedding gifts. I trusted that she would do an excellent job, but I swear to you, my flowers look like I paid thousands for them. Thousands. I consider her one of my dearest, best friends and I'll never forget how fortunate I am to have that friendship, above and beyond the wedding flowers. I'm not sure how I'll ever repay her. They were hands down my favorite detail of our wedding.

The drive off. Transportation was not a priority for us and we didn't do a big send off because I knew our guests well enough to know that they would start leaving before we did. We stuck around and tried to make sure things got put away and sent with the proper responsible people. There were lots of hugs and kisses, then Big Spoon and I hopped in my car and took off toward our hotel. We laughed and talked about our wedding all the way there.

Our Wedding: Reception

2011-03-21T08:00:00.005-05:00

{© Epic Image Photography}

One of the best things that Big Spoon and I did as part of our reception was have a receiving line. We took all of our photos before the ceremony so that our guests didn't have to wait to eat and we had a receiving line so that we saw each and every guest who attended our wedding.

I am so very happy we did this and I highly recommend it.

After the receiving line, Big Spoon and I took a few minutes to just hang out by ourselves before going in to the reception. And from that point on, everything felt like it was in fast forward ...

The few bites of food I got before we got to the hotel room. I was too excited to eat much.

{© Epic Image Photography}

The cake cutting.

{© Epic Image Photography}

The speeches (which everyone knows make me very uncomfortable.)

{© Epic Image Photography}

The first dance.

{© Epic Image Photography}

I dance with my Daddy and Big Spoon danced with his momma.

{© Epic Image Photography}

Some details.

{all © Epic Image Photography except center right vertical. Courtesy of Down South Delights}

Some good friends and family.

{© Epic Image Photography}

Some laughs in the photo booth.

And then ... it was over. The hardest part of the day was taking my dress off. I just didn't want to! But, I did and I drove us to our hotel in Mt. Juliet, laughing all the way as we reflected on our wedding day. {© Epic Image Photography}

Nesting Spoons: Parting Ways With Wedding Stuff

2011-03-19T20:09:00.014-05:00

{© renjith krishnan}

On Friday night, I posted a Craigslist ad in order to sell some of our wedding "stuff." Selling things that might help others have a more budget friendly wedding and getting rid of some clutter makes me feel fabulous and lighter. There's just so much stuff left over. What are you supposed to do with it?

Today, we sold almost all the white table linens. I say almost because Big Spoon and I nearly killed one another trying to get them counted, sorted, folded and in the car. When we got to Antioch, the person informed me that they, in fact, only wanted the white linens, not the satin runners. This was definitely not part of the email correspondence, but we managed to strike a deal that made everyone happy.

It is a goal of mine to have all things wedding wrapped up by our first anniversary. I want to have pictures hanging, prints in albums, scrapbook underway and keepsakes tucked away. I don't want to find myself trying to sort and sell this stuff 5 years from now when no one will want. I'm making space now, so I am making the wedding stuff sell-off, a total house purge and an upcoming yard sale priority numero uno.

The big thing is deciding whether or not to sell my dress.

It's a touchy subject. On one hand, why not? I'll never wear it again when someone else could and get a great price, too. Then again, I don't want to give it away and a big part of me doesn't want to let it go. I'm still deciding.

What did you do with your dress?

A Short & Sweet Update

2011-03-13T23:27:00.004-05:00

Hi y'all! I'm still here ... as life tends to get, we've both been extremely busy and I haven't made much time for blog content. I have several posts drafted and I'm working on wrapping those up. They include our reception and thoughts on our wedding day as well as a couple of DIY wedding tutorials I never got around to before the big day.

We've been married 5 months now, believe it or not. I'm still in the process of re-editing photos and getting some enlarged to hang around the house. I have a Canvas On Demand Groupon and a Picaboo photo book Groupon I'm anxious to use on our wedding photos. Oh, and that whole starting a small business thing while simultaneously living life, working full time and doing minor home renovations.

My goal is to have all the "wedding" related stuff sold, put away, ordered and organized by our 1st anniversary. It seems like a long time for such a small goal, but believe me, it is sneaking up on me!

Problems With Deodorant Smudges? Take Away White!

2011-03-06T08:00:00.001-06:00

So here's something cool and quite handy! I was asked to review a new product on the blog for Takeawaywhite. They sent me a few samples of this little gray foam that take the guess work out of getting that pesky white deodorant out of your clothes!

takeawaywhite is an eco-friendly dry reusable oval foam pad for men, women and teens designed to remove deodorant smudge marks from almost all fabric clothing. An unsightly deodorant mark is annoying and almost always happens when you are in a hurry.

You’ve seen it – you take a last look in the mirror and there is the deodorant smudge – a deodorant powder residue mark across your body! So annoying, and such a hassle, until now...

takeawaywhite lifts the white deodorant residue powder from almost all fabrics. However, it is not a stain remover and will not remove grease.

*Disclosure: I received one full-sized and two mini samples of this product to review. I received no monetary compensation.

Your Questions Answered: Ashley's Bride Guide & Big Spoon Little Spoon

2011-03-02T22:00:00.006-06:00

{© Epic Image Photography}

Our wedding was featured today on Ashley's Bride Guide - the premiere resource for your Nashville wedding! We are so excited and honored that ABG asked to feature our budget wedding both on the blog and on the Facebook fan page.

Also, there is a public discussion forum on the Ashley's Bride Guide Facebook page where you can ask me anything and everything about our wedding, vendors and budget tips. I haven't seen anything like it online and I think it's a really great idea. Feel free to drop by and ask your burning questions. I'll be answering them tomorrow night and Friday.

Check out our ABG blog feature "How They Did It: Natosha + Stephen Share the Details of Their Budget Nashville Wedding."

And, our ABG Facebook feature and discussion page.

{© Epic Image Photography}

Still Deciding On Favors? Consider Thistle Farms For Your Wedding!

2011-03-01T08:00:00.002-06:00

At the ABG Sex and the City II party last summer, I first learned about Thistle Farms and their amazing work. At that point, I had already picked some edible favors for our guests but was totally intrigued by the idea of favors that support charity.

I was contacted by Carolyn at Thistle Farms to introduce me to their mission and ask that I do a blog feature here on Big Spoon Little Spoon. However, if you follow other Nashville bridal bloggers and newlyweds, you probably already know all about them through Louise at The Thirty Something Bride. Her feature from last year puts anything I can write here to shame.

Thistle Farms is a Nashville-based non-profit organization which has great wedding options that are earth-friendly, budget-conscious and support a great cause!

The hand made items are created by women who have survived lives of violence, prostitution and addiction. Purchases of Thistle Farms products directly benefit the women who make them. They have recently come up with some bridal-specific ideas including gift baskets full of our handmade bath and body products, perfect for brides to give to their bridesmaids or coordinators to give to their brides. For more information about our custom bridal product, visit their website.

When you incorporate Thistle Farms into your wedding, you are showing others your belief in the power of love by personally helping women who are on the road to healing.

Now that you know all about them and their wonderful work and products, go check them out at a variety of places around Nashville, such as the Frist Center gift store, Fire Finch, Ten Thousand Villages and Wedding 101.

We're Being Featured!

2011-02-28T08:00:00.012-06:00

Over the weekend, I was thrilled to receive an email from Ashley's Bride Guide asking to feature our wedding on the ABG blog and Facebook Fan page this week! Although I'll certainly update this post with links after it's up, be sure to watch for it on Ashley's Bride Guide.

ABG is the "go-to" resource for Nashville weddings. I found so many great vendors, made many friends and attended wonderful events during my wedding planning process all through Ashley's Bride Guide! It's a wonderful resource and great place to start if you are newly engaged or looking for that last fabulous vendor.

While you're at it, check out her amazing website True Wedding Junkie - an enormous blog roll of wedding vendors, bridal blogs and more wedding inspiration than you can handle!

Our Wedding: Ceremony Part II

2011-02-16T08:00:00.003-06:00

{© Epic Image Photography}

Big Spoon and I chose to write our own ceremony and vows. We wrote the ceremony together after extensive research on my part and we wrote our vows separately. We chose not to share them before we said them. Our ceremony was a fusion of traditional "I do's" and ring exchange as well as modern gathering words and closing.

{© Epic Image Photography}

It was short and sweet. We used no unity candles or sand ceremonies or hand fastings, but we did sign an unofficial marriage certificate during the ceremony to a snippet from Train's "Marry Me."

We had both a celebrant and an officiant because neither of us wanted a religious official. We asked my younger sister's father-in-law to officiate. He happens to be a county clerk and we're so thankful he agreed to be there. Our celebrant Ryan is a dear friend of ours. He read the personalized text of our ceremony and Mr. Lee read the official text.

I haven't asked Big Spoon how he feels about sharing our vows on the blog, but I would like to share our ceremony text in hopes that it inspires other couples who may be writing their own ceremony.

Gathering Words

Little Spoon and Big Spoon have brought us together here
for an occasion of great joy and cause for celebration.
Having found each other, they have built the kind of relationship
that will serve them well as the foundation for their marriage.

Each of us knows that a marriage is not created by a law or a ceremony;
rather it occurs in the hearts of two human beings.
It grows out of loving, caring, and sharing ourselves with another.
And so it is that Little Spoon and Big Spoon have connected their hearts,
One to the other, drawing upon the depths of their being,
Into the deep well of human need – the need to live united, loving, and complete.

So, in witnessing this ceremony today,
we are observing only an outward sign of an inward union
that already exists between Little Spoon and Big Spoon.
Today, they have come before us to publicly affirm their love;
to promise to nurture themselves, each other and this union;
and to acknowledge its centrality in their lives.
They do so knowing that marriage is at once the most tender,
yet challenging of all relations in life.

Personal Vows

Little Spoon and Big Spoon have written vows to one another that they would like to share at this time.

{© Epic Image Photography}

Legal Vows

Do you, Little Spoon, come here freely, willingly and not under duress and is it your desire and intent to enter into a legally binding marriage? (bride replies: yes *except I screwed up and said I do)

Do you, Big Spoon, come here freely, willingly and not under duress and is it your desire and intent to enter into a legally binding marriage? (groom replies: yes)

Little Spoon, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love and to cherish, from this day forward?

Bride: “I do”

Big Spoon, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and to cherish, from this day forward?

Groom: “I do”

Ring Ceremony

Just as we bear witness to a written covenant with our signature, so, too,
do we exchange wedding rings to seal the vow of marriage.
Wedding rings are an enduring symbol that remind us of the pledges
we have made to each other and of our responsibility to honor each other
by honoring our promises.

Repeat after me:

I, Big Spoon, take you, Little Spoon, as my wife. I promise to be your loyal husband from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as I shall live.

I, Little Spoon, take you, Big Spoon, as my husband. I promise to be your loyal wife from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as I shall live.

Signing of Marriage Certificate

Closing Words

Little Spoon and Big Spoon, look at one another and remember this moment.
Before this moment you have been many things to one another -
acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, confidant, even teacher.
Today, you have exchanged vows that will take you across a threshold of life,
and things between you will never quite be the same.
For after today, you shall say to the world: This is my husband. This is my wife.

Pronouncement

By the power vested in me as county clerk and according to the laws of the State of Tennessee and Pickett County from upon the vows you have taken in the presence of witnesses, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.

I happily present to you Dr. and Mrs. Spoon.

Our Wedding Day: Ceremony Part I

2011-02-14T08:00:00.002-06:00

Our ceremony was one of my favorite parts of our wedding. It was really important to us to do it our way and skip over some traditional aspects and include others. For example, we had a small wedding party and around 100 guests, so we opted to do away with ushers and let people seat themselves.

My brother escorted my grandparents and doubled back for my mother before joining the best man, officiant and celebrant on the front porch steps. Big Spoon escorted his parents and then took his place on the steps, followed shortly by my sisters, who were my only bridesmaids.

All of this happened during the same song - "All I Want Is You" by U2.

My father walked me "down the aisle" to Ingrid Michaelson's version of "Can't Help Falling (In Love With You)".


{© Epic Image Photography} To be continued ....

Our Wedding: Prelude to Ceremony

2011-02-11T08:00:00.002-06:00

I dislike the phrase "getting ready" to describe the time before our wedding ceremony. I can't explain why, exactly, but it seems to me an understatement for what one is about to do. I was already ready ... I was soooo ready to be married to Big Spoon. I got my hair styled and my makeup applied. I got my dress laced up and my shoes on. I place my veil and hair piece into my hair.

But I was already ready emotionally. I had an 18-month-long engagement. I couldn't have been more ready to step into that dress and walk down the aisle toward the rest of my life. But as much as I dislike the phrase for it's underwhelming qualities, I can't think of a better one.

I was alone most of the morning of our wedding. I cannot recommend this. Try to have someone with you, even to hold your hand or take your cell phone away. I'll discuss this in length in another post, but for now, here is a pictorial review of the prelude to our ceremony:

Father In Law, Brother & Husband getting ready in the Judge's Quarters

Father In Law fixing Big Spoon's tie

Mom helping me get dressed

My goodies.

Love my little hanger.

My mom and I collaborated on my garter.

Sarah lacing me up just like a Southern belle.

Nesting Spoons: Wedded Bliss

2011-02-03T08:00:00.001-06:00

I was recently asked to talk about our wedding in an interview for the locally based magazine HER Nashville. The article was titled "Reclaim Your Wedding" and features floral designer and bride-to-be Hillary Robson of Brocade Designs as well as Marie McKinney-Oates of Nashville Marriage Studio.

The article explores the darker side of wedding planning - people pleasing, hurting feelings, feeling overwhelmed or alone, inadequate or just plain bad. It's a great read for those brides out there who may be feeling some self-doubt and second-guessing when they see beautifully photographed weddings everywhere.

Almost four months after our wedding, I really enjoyed reading this article and reflecting on my own journey, a small part of which was shared for the article. Simply put, our wedding wasn't everything I'd hoped it would be. There were some issues and some let-downs. As an American bride, one has been inundated with the idea of "perfect" since childhood. When I did this interview, I was still ankle-deep in post-wedding blues. Even though I attempted to mentally prepare myself for less-than-perfect, it was still difficult for me to let go of some things that went wrong ... until lately.

What changed?

Well, life. Really. I'm married! I'm married to the most amazing, brilliant, funny man I've ever known. Some days, it just hits me out of the blue how incredibly lucky I am to have him and the life we're building. Do you know what I don't think about in those moments? The things that went wrong at our wedding. I think about the last Saturday when we spent two hours just talking. I think about his face as I read my vows to him. I think about how much we laughed driving away from the venue to our wedding night hotel.

I'm so proud of the fact that we planned our wedding together and that ultimately, it was a reflection of who we are as a couple - regardless of the things I wasn't happy with. We did it on a budget because that mattered a lot to us. But I'll let you in on a little secret ... we're just as married as the couple who spent $95 on a marriage license and eloped. We're just as married as the couple who spent $30K and got featured on a big name wedding website.

The day after our wedding, I was so pissed off at myself for not spending more money on X or Y thing. I even talked about it at the Smart Bride Workshop. (What I said to those brides is still true - be careful who you hire to provide services for your wedding.) However ... Big Spoon and I did something really big last week. REALLY. BIG. And it made us feel like rock stars. All the wedding stuff floated away, sealed tightly in a little compartment in my mind where I'll go to reflect and remember.

We paid off our second mortgage.

We felt awesome. I felt like, "Wow, I'm really glad we didn't spend more than that on the wedding. This is great!" He felt like, "Wow, I'm really glad my wife is okay with doing something practical with our money and not blowing it on something fun, but unnecessary!"

I truly believe that planning a budget wedding helped lead us to marital bliss. We spent below our means and discussed every purchase. We chose to use the money we could have spent on more important things. After a tough first couple of months of marriage for me (I had the post-wedding blues pretty darn bad), I've settled in to being blissfully wed. I love my husband. I love our life.

Our Wedding: Rehearsal Day

2011-01-30T08:00:00.000-06:00

{Reception Hall and rose garden at Rose Mont Mansion}

Here it is! I'm finally recapping our wedding weekend. It wasn't elaborate or even that glamorous; just simple, sweet and full of love ... the way we intended. The morning of October 9th was hot, sunny and beautiful.

One of the best things about our venue is that you can rent it for the entire day for your rehearsal while they are open for tours. We headed up to Gallatin early in order to decorate the reception hall and anything else we could get out of the way.

{Reception Hall at Rose Mont Mansion, from the rose garden}

{Interior of Reception Hall at Rose Mont Mansion}

{When we finished with the room, it looked like this}

This is what the reception hall looked like before we got started that day. At first, it was just Big Spoon, his parents and me. Then, my parents and brother arrived, followed shortly by my planner Margaret. We arranged tables, threw linens and runners, organized decorations for the next day and before I knew it, I was rushing to get ready in the restroom for rehearsal at 3 o'clock.


{hubby, father-in-law and Margaret hanging lights}

{we hung paper lanterns and tissue pomanders on the lights}

At 3:00pm, we began rehearsal. We had a small wedding party, which made things go pretty fast. We did a few walk-throughs to make sure everyone was on the same page. You'll be able to tell by the pictures that Big Spoon and I had a blast at rehearsal.

{L to R: Little Spoon's brother, sister, mom, dad, sister & niece,

Little Spoon, Big Spoon's dad, Big Spoon, Big Spoon's best friend & fiance, Big Spoon's mom}

At 5:00pm, we made the short drive to Hartsville, TN for rehearsal dinner at Tully's Bistro. Chef Tully's restaurant is in a beautiful, historic home in the heart of Hartsville. The food is amazingly delicious and we had a wonderful time with our friends and family.

*All photos in this post are copyright of Natosha Benning unless otherwise specified. Not for personal use.