BigFire Camping Gear Blog

Buck Knives Parallex Pocket Knife Combo Set

2011-11-23T20:43:00.001-08:00

The Buck Knives Parallex Pocket Knife Set. My father used to carry a pocket in his front right pants pocket. I assume it resided next to his coin purse. Or did that go in the other pocket? Either way, it proved invaluable on many an occasion.

You can buy them at Sun and Ski (www.sunandski.com).

Teva Verdon WP Hiking Shoe

2011-11-17T08:48:00.000-08:00

The big fishing trip had finally come. Five days on the Snake River in Hell's Canyon fishing for Steelhead. I was excited to say the least. I mean, who doesn't want to spend those five days standing at the back of a boat, shivering in pouring rain with a rod & reel in hand waiting for some fish to bite a shiny object at the end of a rope? Sounds wonderful if you ask me. But only wonderful if you're comfortable. Comfortable translating into a good set of waterproof rain jacket and pants, a warm cap, and of course a great pair of waterproof shoes.

Well, I had two of those three. The shoes not so much. My old Nike hikers had been with me for some time and although they were supposedly GoreTex, I came to find out that Gore had left Tex many miles down the trail as these things acted more like sponges than liquid defenders. By the end of day one, I felt like I had two sacks of wet flour strapped to my feet. I could literally wring the water from these things. To make matters worse, by the end of day two, the sole had delaminated at the tip so I was walking around like a scuba diver with flippers on.

I vowed there and then to get me a pair of hikers that would stand up to this type of weather. After much research and multiple visits to the same outdoor goods store (the girl in the shoe department thought I was stalking her,) I finally decided on the Teva Verdon WP. Not only are they among the cheapest (translate: inexpensive) waterproof hiking shoes on the market, they are definitely the most comfortable. And, thanks to their undersizing technique, I felt like a much bigger man having to go with size 11 (when my normal shoe size is 10.)

With the advance of the wet fall, I've been taking every opportunity to put these shoes through their paces, trudging through puddles, six inch wet grass and standing a soccer games in an all-day rain. So far so dry. I like to be dry.

I can't wait for our next Snake River adventure so I can again stand in miserable conditions and catch no fish. At least I'll be comfortable.

Leatherman Skeletool Multitool

2009-09-19T19:59:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching the classic horror film, "The Hollow." Okay, it's not such a classic. Actually it's pretty bad and filled with washed-up actors. Oh, I'm sorry, did I offend you Judge Reinholdt fans? Mr. Fast Times played the hero's father, an angry football coach. I feel sorry for Judge having to resort to taking bit parts in third rate slasher flicks, but a man's gotta eat.

Let's count the cliches, shall we? Popular high school cheerleader is inexplicably attracted to Loner, nerd geek boy. Jealous football player ex-boyfriend threatens to pound his brains in. Old geezer janitor warns boy to stay away from the graveyard. Boy finally believes the stories when he's attacked by headless horseman. Oh, did I forget to tell you? This academy-award winner is about the modern day decendent of Ichabod Crane, the poor fella in Sleepy Hollow. Hey, it's hard to come up with new ideas for horror movies!

My favorite scene is where Boy makes cheerleader girlfriend hide in a boarded-up shack in the middle of the graveyard. Yeah, what a good idea! No need to check whether there are any dead bodies in there. (ah, yes, there are.) Cheerleader realizes this after she's locked herself in and has used her super-human cheerleader strength to tear the door knob off. She proceeds to scream and yell for help. What she really could have used is a Leatherman Skeletool Multitool. She could have used its universal bit driver locking blade to reattach the door knob. Or she could have used the wire cutters to cut through the chicken wire covering the windows. I didn't actually see any chicken wire, but I just KNOW its there. Or she could have used the good ol' stainless steel blade to take care of her Loner, Nerd Boyfriend when he comes back for her.

The only problem with this movie was that almost all the stars lived. What kind of horror movie is that? I give "The Hollow" 1 star, and that's only because during the commercial breaks of the football game I had something to watch. I highly recommend this movie, er, multitool.

Garmin Colorado 300 Personal Navigator

2009-08-27T18:56:00.000-07:00

Trip to Sunny Lake

A Travelogue by Alex Smith

Day 1 - 6:30 am: What a glorious morning! An absolutely perfect day to go camping. I am so stoked! For the record, it's going to be me, my girlfriend Freda, our friend Mike and his son Luke. Our plan is to is drive to the Sunny Lake Wilderness Area, unload our gear and hike the 10 miles into Sunny Lake. Everyone is in good spirits.

Day 1 - 8:30 am: Made it to Sunny Lake Wilderness Area. It took a little longer than expected due to a minor delay. As we were driving, Freda swore that a small rodent of some kind--she thinks an opossum--ran in front of our car. She was sure we hit it, so we pulled over and inspected the front of the vehicle. As no animal was found, Freda began to search the tall grass along the road for the injured creature. After no such road kill was found, we resumed our trip. And we're here! Let's get going!

Day 1 - 10:30 am: Halfway to Sunny Lake! Getting this far took longer than expected, since Mike and Freda had to keep switching off helping me portage the canoe. (I really wish I had gone with the Kevlar model.) Luke was no help at all even though he was perfectly capable. I don't know why Mike puts up with that attitude. Freda humming the theme to "Deliverance" is also starting to grate on me just a tad. But no worry...in just a short while we'll be at beautiful Sunny Lake!

Day 1 - 12:30 pm: We should be there by now, but it started to rain about an hour ago and everyone just HAD to get their rain gear on. What's the big friggin' deal about a little rain? And Luke is such a whiner - "I'm cold!" "I'm wet!" "I'm hungry!" I don't think he's got the camping bug yet. We'll get him turned around as soon as he sees how great Sunny Lake is!

Day 1 - 2:15 pm: We must have taken a wrong turn a while back because I can't see Sunny Lake anywhere. Mike was SO adamant about taking that left fork a few miles ago. I told him the path clearly went to the right, but no, Mike ALWAYS has to have his way. I sure hate the fact that he's so selfish. He must drive his wife mad. I'm glad Freda isn't like that. Now Luke is just sitting on the ground listening to his I-pod. What a little Sh**. I'm sure we're not more than a half-mile to Sunny Lake. I can feel it!

Day 1 - 3:45 pm: We've retraced our steps but can't seem to find where the fork in the path was. Freda is complaining that she wants to give up and go home. I KNEW she didn't like camping! What a fraud her Facebook profile was with all that "I really love camping" stuff. Yeah, camping in her bedroom eating bon-bons! I little exercise wouldn't hurt that XL ass of hers either. Mike says his shoulders are getting tired from carrying the canoe. He suggests we leave it and come back for it tomorrow. Yeah right! I'm not leaving my $2500 canoe out here for any numskull to take!

Day 1 - 4:15 pm: Mike, Luke and Freda are all headed back to the car. A bunch of jerks if you ask me! All I wanted to do was show them how GREAT camping is, and how beautiful Sunny Lake is at dusk. That's just fine. I DO NOT NEED THEM AT ALL! The joke is on them though. I've got the keys to the car!

Day 1 - 6:50 pm: Not quite sure where I am. It's getting pretty dark out though and this damn canoe is so friggin' heavy. WHY DID I BRING A CANOE? I've decided to leave the canoe here and come back for it later after I've set up camp at Sunny Lake.

Day 1 - 8:30 pm: It's pitch black out here. My headlamp batteries are dead. It's been pouring rain for 2 hours. The trail I've been following seems to have dead-ended. Where's that F***ing lake? Why didn't I buy that Garmin Colorado 300 Personal Navigator like Freda had suggested? I'd be out of this jam already. That thing has got everything--color screen, high-sensitivity receiver, barometric altimeter, electronic compass. I could have set 50 routes, 1000 waypoints and 20 tracks! I AM SO STUPID! I am definitely buying that if I ever get out of this mess!

Day 2 - 6:30 am: I had a miserable night last night. Tried to set up the tent but lost the poles in the darkness. Ended up just throwing it over me and sitting down. Woke up in a deep puddle with leaches all over me and a rash from something else. It's all Mike's fault. What a horrible friend. I miss Freda. She was the best thing I ever had.

Hang on...I hear voices...

It's Freda! I'm SAVED!

Day 2 - 6:35 am: This is Freda. Alex is an idiot. After I get him out of here with my Garmin Colorado 300 Personal Navigator, I'm breaking up with him. And what's with this stupid travelogue?

Black Diamond Lightsabre Bivy

2009-08-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

I have a friend, his name is Smitty. Smitty really likes his bivy.

What's a bivy you may ask?

A bivy is a tent, only smaller by contrast.

Smitty likes to camp all alone. He doesn't even bring a phone.

We ask him why he takes no one, and all he says is, "One is much more fun!"

He has no need for other folks, 'cause then he'd have to share his smokes.

So off he goes all light and giddy, into the woods with his little bivy.

No more rhymes, we promise, okay? Here's the description without further delay. (Sorry...it's just so much fun.)

The Black Diamond Lightsabre is a super-light bivy for the gram-counting minimalist concerned with comfort. The Lightsabre combines the Bibler Tripod Bivy design with ultralight, highly packable EPIC water-repellent, breathable canopy fabric and a waterproof SilNylon floor. Three DAC Featherlite aluminum poles lift the canopy off your sleeping bag and away from your head and feet. The Lightsabre has a large zippered entry with a mesh window above your head and a mini-mesh vent under the foot-box awning to keep the critters out and allow fresh air in. Stuff sack included. Visit www.bigfirecampinggear.com for more details.

Thinksport Bottles

2009-07-27T18:26:00.000-07:00

I'll admit. I drink a lot of water. Did you know that you're supposed to get 8 - 8 oz. glasses of water a day? I'm not exactly sure what happens if you don't, but it probably has something to do with proper bladder function. Or perhaps you turn into a raisin. But let's face it, with all the sweet, sugary drinks out there, plain water is kind of...plain. In my amped up, thrill-driven, kinetic life, good ol' H2O just won't fly. So I have developed an affinity for the new flavored waters. I'll try any of the new flavors -- berry, kiwi, watermelon, even pineapple.

So when I heard about some new flavors coming out I was stoked. However, I had to admit I never heard of these new flavors -- with names like BPA, Phthalates, Cadmium, PVC, and Lead. These didn't sound too appetizing. So I got on a little thing we call the Internet and did me some searching around. Turns out these aren't flavors at all! These are just some wonderful added ingredients that come with drinking bottled water that comes in polycarbonate-based bottles. And it turns out they're not too good for you. Well, unless you like irreversible neurological damage, birth defects, cancer, or pulmonary emphysema. I'm trying to avoid these things myself.

So imagine my delight when I chanced into finding these cool Thinksport Bottles. They are free of all the aforementioned nasties and are instead made from stainless steel. Nothing wrong with stainless steel as far as I know. If it's good enough for surgeons it's good enough for me. The Thinksport bottles are double walled and vacuum sealed to keep your liquids (read: flavored water) cold or hot without sweating. (Never let your bottle sweat.) AND it comes with a drinking spout and internal screen to hold in ice or tea leaves while drinking. So kind of those folks to think of that.

Pocket Chainsaw

2009-07-11T12:37:00.000-07:00

Finally! A saw you can fit in your pocket! We have been waiting for years for this invention. A little background. I come from a logging family. For 5 generations my family has made their living by cutting logs and hauling them out of the forest. Are you familiar with Easter Island? Yeah, my family took care of that. Before we got there, it was a tall forest of Douglas Fir. But how is anybody going to see monolithic statues when they're surrounded by trees? Want an example more close to home? How about Mt. Rushmore. Believe it or not, Mt. Rushmore was covered with Christmas trees. Poor Abe Lincoln looked like he was spiking his hair. They called us in to take care of that.
So suffice to say, we know what we're talking about when it comes to saws. In fact, we've tried to invent a pocket saw ourselves, but with horrible outcomes. My great-grandfather Boyd almost lost the family jewels after his spring-loaded pocket saw uncoiled in mid-step. So, while we're a little sad that we didn't come up with this unique design, we're glad someone did.
This Pocket Chainsaw is made of high strength, heat-treated steel and it's coated for rust resistance. It'll fit in your shirt pocket, pants pocket, coat pocket, hot pocket, or any other pocket you can find. Ah, Hot Pockets...couldn't you go for one of those right now? Me too. Check out Jim Gaffigan's take on Hot Pockets here. The saw is 28" long and weighs in at only 6oz. Heck, that's like saying it floats on air! What's more, it has 124 Bi-directional teeth. See ya later, Alligator! There's a new sherriff in town! And best of all, it can be used by one or two persons. Make a new friend by inviting them to saw wood with you. You may get slapped a few times as they infer that this means something else, but it will be worth it when you find a true friend. Get your Pocket Chainsaw here at www.bigfirecampinggear.com

Red Ledge Acadia Rainsuit for Kids

2009-07-03T15:23:00.000-07:00

Congratulations, Timmy Johnson!
You have been selected as a George Washington Elementary Crossing Guard! You will be given an official orange vest and large ” School” flag to be used in the process of performing your duties. Duties include securely escorting other children to George Washington Elementary. You will have to purchase an official Red Ledge Acadia Rainsuit for use during inclement weather. (Inclement weather means when it’s raining or snowing.) You may purchase this at our official supplier, BigFire Camping Gear, www.bigfirecampinggear.com.
If you continue in this position until the end of the year, you are eligible to win a trip to our National office in Washington DC! Here you will join with other Crossing Guards to view all the wonderful monuments and sites that the Capitol City has to offer. And just think, you’ll get to hold this over your brother for your entire life!
Congratulations, Timmy, on being awarded this prestigious position. We hope you’ll do your best. See you in Washington!
Sincerely,
Mr. Donald Smith
National School Crossing Guard Foundation (NSCGF)

Black Diamond Apollo Lantern

2009-04-30T09:30:00.001-07:00

Dear Doctor:
Thanks again for all you’ve been doing to help me with my anger problems. I really think I’m making some good progress as of late. I did want to run something by you though, just to get your take on it since you’re a professional. A buddy of mine recently went camping with his wife to a very remote area of an unnamed forest. (I don’t want to bother you with details.) All the way the wife was bitching (from what he said) about how far it was, whether he packed her the Travel John Privacy Tent (she can’t stand to go potty outside), and other annoying, grating conversation. So they get to the campsite and my buddy starts to put up the tent. He’s got it all done and staked in, when his wife says, “I don’t want it under that tree. What if it falls?” So he does a little grumbling and moves it. Then the wife says, “It’s too close to the stream. What happens if it floods?” Now my buddy is getting really irate, but he moves it again. Just then the wife says, “It’s too close to the…” But she doesn’t get to finish, because my buddy whacks her in the head with a shovel. So now my buddy has a problem. It’s getting dark out and he’s got to do something with her. But he can’t see anything. What’s the right thing for my buddy do?
Thanks for your advice on this, Doc.
Sincerely,
Vincent
—————————————————————————————–
Dear Vincent,
Thank you for your recent letter. I must say it’s quite disturbing. Your buddy seems to have a very similar anger problem to the one you possess. As to what he should do with her I can’t really advise because I don’t have all the details of her condition (and I’m not really a medical doctor anyway–didn’t have the grades for it, so I doubt I could help her.) But I think I can help him with the issue of darkness. I recommend to all my “camping” patients that they get a Black Diamond Apollo Lantern. The Apollo is a bright, non-glaring, soup-can-sized backcountry lantern that is perfect for any campsite activities. It’s got a 3-watt LED and has a frosted globe which creates a bright, non-glaring light. It also comes with a dimming switch in case you don’t want to let the whole world know what you’re up to out there.
Please ask your friend to give me a call. Perhaps I can help him further. Remember, anything he tells me is strictly confidential (doctor-patient privilege) so he has nothing to fear.
Your doctor,
Dr. Phil Hurrup
p.s. The Black Diamond Apollo uses NRG Rechargeable Batter Kit or 4 AA alkaline batteries. Battery power meter displays charging status and/or existing battery life. Extended height: 9.5″ (240mm). Collapsed height: 5″ (127mm). Diameter: 3″ (75mm). Weight: 220g.

Vargo Shepard's Hook Titanium Stakes

2009-03-17T12:11:00.000-07:00

March 17, 2009 Athens, Greece --Officials today unearthed one of Aesop's lost fables carved on a stone tablet that was found buried under a porta-potty near the Parthenon.

The fable is already being considered one of Aesop's greatest works. It is the story of a boy that told his father that he was going to travel the world to seek his fame and riches. With his father's blessing the boy packed his mule with all the things he thought he would need for the long journey. Among these items were his sleeping mat, an alpaca fur blanket, a pillow made of ostrich feathers, and a burlap tent. When his father asked him how he planned to secure the tent to the ground, the boy replied, "I will use these stakes made of chicken bones. They will hold." The wise father responded, "My boy, I love you, but you have the brains of an auroch if you think that will hold your tent in place. The gods test such travelers as you, and mark my word son, this will be your undoing." "Father, I appreciate your concern, but I am a man of the world now and must travel light to go as far as I possibly can," the son responded.

So off the boy went. The boy had traveled 30 nights without event, when he came upon a large outcropping of rock. "I shall make camp here tonight and start fresh tomorrow." The boy set up his tent and staked it to the ground using the chicken bones he had brought. During the night, the ground began to tremble and a voice from above quaked, waking the boy. "YOU HAVE DISOBEYED THY FATHER AND HAVE BROUGHT MUCH RATH TO THINE SELF. It was the great oracle, Hephaestus speaking. The boy was indignant. "Hephaestus, I am a man now and do not need advice from my father!"

Just then, the earth heaved greatly and the boy was thrown off his feet. The wind blew violently and the tent's chicken bone stakes snapped, sending the tent into the air and out of site. From high atop the rocks came a massive spew of volcanic ash that came pouring down on the boy, burying him up to his neck. "YOU HAVE BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF, YOUNG BOY. YOU SHOULD HAVE PURCHASED THE VARGO SHEPARD'S HOOK TITANIUM STAKES!" The boy was filled with contrition and said, "You are right, great Hephaestus. If you let me live, I shall spread the word of your magnificence throughout the land." "SO BE IT!" shouted Hephaestus, and at once the boy was back standing next to his tent as though it had all been a dream. But in place of the chicken bones were brand new Vargo Shepard's Hook Titanium Stakes.

The boy made it back to his village and spent the rest of his days making and giving away Vargo Titanium stakes to all who desired them. And he lived to a ripe old age of 42. (People died young back then.)

Officials are scurrying to set up a camping gear store next to the Parthenon to take advantage of the situation.

Freestyle Audio Waterproof MP3 Player

2009-03-11T11:34:00.000-07:00

You love your music. You love it bad. But you got a problem. Your job and your music don't mix. It's been your lifelong dream to be a Conservation Technician (read: Aquarium Cleaner), but it's a major drag not to have your tunes 10 feet down there as you evade the sharks and stingrays to clean the glass aquarium walls. Sure, you enjoy the dolphins chatter, but they have no rhythm. And humming into your scuba mouthpiece just gave you a mouthful of water. So you're considering hanging up the fins and picking up the pooper-scooper. Don't do it. Live your dream and still enjoy your music with the Freestyle Audio Waterproof MP3 Player.

Rugged, durable, and waterproof, this MP3 player allows you to bring your favorite tunes anywhere. Completely submersible up to 10 ft. It's shockproof, durable design allows for skip free audio. And if someone happens to drop a toaster into the aquarium, your MP3 player will live on. (It will probably be given to your next of kin.)

The 1 Gig Freestyle holds and plays up to 320 songs, and features a built-in rechargeable battery with up to 30 hours playtime per charge, plenty of jamosity to get you through all the tanks at the zoo. And if you happen to drop it while trying to remove that stubborn squid goo, don't sweat it. The Freestyle floats!

PC/MAC compatible. Includes waterproof earbuds, arm strap (screen), USB cable, and user guide.

Seattle Sports AquaKnot 1800 Dry Bag/Backpack

2009-03-02T13:41:00.000-08:00

Dear Canvas,
We shared some wonderful times over the years. You and I have been through a lot together. Remember the trip to Mexico? You hauled my heavy 4×5 camera all the way to the top of Chichen Itza and you never complained once. And when we went through the thick mangrove forests in Columbia, you came out all scratched, but relatively intact.
But I knew the good times had to come to an end. Our trip to the Oregon coast this winter revealed your true nature. Your attitude was all soggy and wet. You became dead weight to me as I struggled to get to the edge of the ocean at Ecola State Park.
Since then, I knew our relationship was over, but now I just need closure. And I’ve met another that can give me that closure. Seattle Sports AquaKnot 1800 came into my life just when I needed it most. In fact AquaKnot gives me 3 kinds of closure.
When I’m rafting and need side closure, AquaKnot offers detachable straps that cinch down to the sides of the bag, which connect to traditional top buckles.
When I’m feeling more traditional, AquaKnot give me a simple clip-together closure. All I have to do is roll three times and clip together in the center.
And finally, when I’m cycling and I need a quick, clean closure but don’t need cinch-down waterproof protection, AquaKnot’s side straps clip off and the buckles hide to allow for a simple center-mounted over-the top Velcro®-style strap to keep the bag closed.
All in all, I’ve found the perfect companion. I’m sorry Canvas, but you and I knew it couldn’t last forever. There were too many holes in our relationship.
Canvas, there’s one last thing you should know. You stink! (AquaKnot smells as nice as the day we met.)
Good luck and good bye.
Miriam

Hennessy Expedition ASYM Hammock

2009-02-24T13:58:00.000-08:00

I am UBA KAMILA, the first son of the third wife of President Jacque Kamila. With regards to detailed information and recommendation of your person and company from the Johannesburg Chamber of commerce and Industry (JCCI), I wish to ask for your favor and assistance in a very confidential business arrangement. A large amount of Hennessy Expedition ASYM Hammocks have come into my posession. I am needing your assistance in receiving this hammocks for safe keeping till when i come over to your country.

These hammocks are highly sought-after. The new Asymmetrical shape provides instant comfort over rocky, wet or sloping terrain and protection from sun, wind, rain, black flies, etc. The Expedition includes a patented self-closing entrance through the bottom, which seals automatically and a new comfortable shape to keep your back straight and level when resting on the diagonal. So now you understand how valuable this shipment is.

These hammocks were given to me as a portion of inheritance from my father and was never disclosed to anyone in the family except my twin sister, due to the polygamous battle for the struggle of birth right and for the fact that this his major properties and wealth were shared among his four legitimate wives.

My Mother happened to be third although she died when i was seven years old and we have little or nothing out of it.

I am currently in loggerheads with my elder brother MUSA, a major general who is currently Democratic Republic of congo’s (DRC) head, after our father was fatally shot dead by 2nd deputy defense secretary Haishiva Haludu on tuesday night, as a result of a growing rift between him and some of his top army commanders.

All i want from you is to assist me in claiming my consignment from the Security Company and assist me also in transferring the hammocks into your posession.

IF there is any way you can assist me, morally and financially, I would be most indebted to you. Please endeavor to keep this business confidential though it is 100%risk free. I am prepared to offer you 20% of the total sum for your assistance.

Best regards,

Uba Kamila

Vaude Astra 55+10 I Moss Backpack

2009-02-20T15:20:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Goldilocks. She went for a walk in the forest. Pretty soon, she came upon a house. She knocked and, when no one answered, she walked right in.

At the table in the kitchen, there were three backpacks laying on the table. Goldilocks was hungry for a new backpack, but it had to fit right. She tried on the first backpack.
"This backpack hurts my back!" she exclaimed.
So, tried on the second backpack.
"This backpack hurts my hips!" she said
So, she tasted, er, tried on the last backpack--a Vaude Astra 55+10.
"Ahhh, this backpack is just right," she said happily and she started putting all her stuff in it--her awesome sleeping bag, a cool camp stove she had "found" earlier, and some bear claws for an afternoon snack. Then she noticed that there was some left over porridge sitting on the table, so she scarfed that up too. (Goldi had some issues.)
By this time she was pretty drowsy, so she laid out on the sofa and used her new Vaude Astra as a headrest. As she was sleeping, three bears came into the house.
"Someone's been trying on my backpack AND eating my porridge!" growled the Papa bear.
"Someone's been trying on my backpack and eating MY porridge!" said the Mama bear.
"Someone's been trying on my backpack AND eating my porridge AND they're using my backpack for a headrest!" cried the Baby bear.
Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three bears. She screamed, "Holy Sh**!" and dove out the window (but not before putting on her Vaude Astra 55+10 backpack, which by the way cushioned her fall.) Luckily the Vaude Astra was so light, she was able to run really fast and those bears couldn't catch her. A few years later, Goldilocks was arrested for shoplifting a tent. She got two years of probation and a $1000 fine. She's appearing on the next season of Celebrity Rehap--Shoplifting Addiction.

-- THE END --

Black Diamond Glidelite Nylon STS Climbing

2009-02-13T15:32:00.000-08:00

My friend Bill is an extreme environmentalist. He goes well beyond your average eco-conscious pragmatist. Bill not only separates his recyclables into paper, plastic, and glass, he actually sorts them by color, weight, and of course the little number inside the triangle that no one else understands. Bill once boycotted a grocery store chain because they used only 50% recycled materials in their reusable cloth shopping bags.
So when it came to Bill's passion, back-country skiing, he absolutely refused to use climbing skins, instead using old fashioned nordic wax (of course recycled wax.) Bill's reasoning was made clear by his statement to me, "I will not use anything that's been taken off the back of a poor defenseless seal. Sure, skins make steep climbs easier than wax, but my friends at Save the Seals would never forgive me if I switched." (Bill even said that he doesn't watch nature videos that feature seals because he feels the cameras are invading the seals' privacy.)
I finally pointed out to Bill that they don't make climbing skins out of sealskins anymore. In fact, they now make them out of nylon, which absorbs less water, ices up less, and has better glide than mohair or plastic skins. I went on to tell him that I recommend the Black Diamond Glidelite Nylon STS Skins. The Black Diamond Glidelite Nylon STS Skins are super-packable, lightweight and durable. The GlideLite skins also have the same legendary hydrophobic and durable plush as the Ascension Series, but are designed with a thinner and more supple laminate construction, making them easier to fold and fit inside a jacket pocket. The STS attachment system holds skins firmly in place with a glove-friendly elastomer strap and one-step camming tailpiece for simplicity and security.
Bill felt terrible for going on like that and offered me a free subscription to "Recycle World" magazine. I had to politely decline pointing out that it seemed kind of ironic that "Recycle World" magazine is printed on paper, which is destroying our forests. You could almost see the short-circuit that happened in Bill's brain as he let this information sink in. Bill is currently seeing a therapist for his conflicted conscious.

Glow Dog Reflective Jacket

2009-02-10T15:30:00.000-08:00

When I was younger, we had a dog named Maggie. Mags was a Scottish Terrier. You know…a Scotty. She was a great dog. She loved to fetch and play tug of war. She was a little wary of strangers, but once you got to know her she would be your best friend. (In fact she just wouldn’t leave you alone.)
However, Mags had some faults. She didn’t like little kids. I think that’s because the neighborhood kids would stand just outside the reach of her chain and tease her. Those rotten punks. Bullies is what they were.
Another fault was Maggie’s obsession with anything moving. She liked her bikes, skateboards, rollerblades, and she especially liked her cars. She liked racing ‘em, chasing ‘em, and unfortunately she liked to get underneath the wheels. Yes, you guessed it. My poor little Maggie got run over by a car. You could hardly blame the driver. It was night time and Mags had gotten off the leash. I heard the screech and came running out. Mags was sitting in the middle of the road looking all dazed and confused. She got nailed pretty good. We almost lost her that night, but with a little help from our friends at the emergency vet clinic and a couple thousand dollars she was as good as new.
I’ve learned a lot about this experience. The first is, don’t get a black dog. But if you do, the second thing I’ve learned is to get yourself a Glow Dog Reflective Jacket. This weatherproof, lined jacket provides full-torso coverage, uses secure nylon straps with Velcro® closure. It’s made from polyester and microfiber materials that are Telfon® coated allowing greater breathability and moisture wicking. The lining is soft, durable and non-pilling. During the day the jacket is an attractive color, and at night the oncoming headlights reflect back to the driver who sees the entire item as bright white. This is because the fabric is embedded with millions of tiny mirrors” that reflect back to any light source. How amazing is that?

Life-Link Professional Snow Study Kit

2009-02-06T12:33:00.000-08:00

We're sorry to hear that you lost your job. Your parents thought you were crazy when you told them you wanted to be a rodeo clown. But you're a man who follows through on your dreams (and you loved the idea of painting your face.) So you got yourself a pair of baggy britches, changed your name to Slim and headed out west to earn the big bucks. After 20 broken bones and countless hours spent doing the Ostrich Jockey, Devil in My Barrel, and Crazy Ambulance, you were told to hang up your chaps (the cowboys were complaining that you spent too much time inside the clown lounge and not enough time protecting them.)
So you're looking for a new line of work. How about becoming an Avalanche Forecaster? Instead of saving bronco busters, you can now save renegade, avalanche-starting snowboard jockeys. You'll need some whoop-daddy equipment though, so be sure to lasso some quality gear such as the Life-Link Professional Snow Study Kit.
The Life-Link Professional Snow Study Kit is used by snow controllers, backcountry skiers, snowmobilers, mountaineers and avalanche forecasters throughout the world. It includes Two Dial Stem Fahrenheit Thermometers, Slopemeter, Snow Crystal Card, Snow Pit Card, 25x Magnifier and an organizer to hold it all.
It'll be so dope to bust out the "I'm an AF" at parties. After they ask, "What's an AF?" you can go into detail ad nauseum. And the Arctic Cougars will really dig you.

Black Diamond Contour Elliptic Trek Poles

2009-02-04T12:18:00.001-08:00

We understand your class reunion is coming up and you've decided to throw a little pre-party for your old high school buds. They haven't seen you in 10 years, but you've kept in sporadic contact with them, mostly filling them with b.s. stories of your fantastic accomplishments since matriculation. You've really put yourself out there, haven't you? You told the boys that you ran with the bulls in Pamplona. That wasn't quite right was it? Sure you were in Pamplona, but from what we hear, you were getting sloshed on grappa in some quaint little taverna 20 miles away.
Another doozy is that you worked as a deep-sea diver on a treasure-seeking vessel and that you recovered millions in gold coins. C'mon now, you can't even swim, and you won't let the ocean even nibble at your toes since you saw Jaws.
Our favorite of your fabrications is that you climbed Mt. Everest. Uh-huh. Did you take the southeast route from Nepal or northeast route from Tibet? How did you handle the Khumbu Icefall? Yeah, we've all read "Into Thin Air" so you better have your facts straight.
You may also want to consider having a few props laying around the house to make this fairytale seem plausible. We would suggest some climbing rope, some crampons and perhaps a nice set of hiking poles staged in the corner. We're particularly fond of Black Diamond Contour Elliptic Trek Poles. If any of the guys are still listening to you by this point, you can explain to them that these poles have an elliptic shape for twice the fore and aft stiffness of round-shafted poles. You can also tell them that the Countour Elliptic features a 15-degree corrective angle for added comfort, as well as a 360-degree padded webbing, and an ergonomic ovalized foam grip. The pole's dual FlickLock adjustment is efficient and simple to operate even with Everest's 100-mph wind gusts. Finally, make sure to tell them that the poles come outfitted with Long Flex Tips and easy-to-swap-out trekking and powder baskets.
We hope you have a great time at your pre-party. We hope your buddies show up too.

Open Letter to Mr. Parker

2009-02-03T12:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. Parker:
I am writing to apologize for my part of what happened last weekend. I wanted you to know that our idea was just to have a simple camping trip but it kinda got out of control. I'll try and explain the way it happened.
My brother Rich, myself and our friends Brent S. and Dave M. were planning to go camping in the woods behind my house. We were very excited and we told a few people at school what we were going to do. Your daughter Jill and her friend Peggy said that sounded like fun, but we told them they couldn't come because it wouldn't be right to have girls on the same trip. We thought we had picked a very remote campsite, but when we got there it turns out Jill and Peggy were already there. We told them that as long as they stayed in their own tent and not our brand new Eureka! Tetragon 8 Tent, we wouldn't nark on them. It was getting pretty dark out by the time they tried to set up their tent and they just couldn't do it (you know girls and tents...) So they asked if they could come in ours. They were getting pretty scared after they said they heard bears coming through the woods (I think it was just squirrels), so we let them in. They were passing a bottle of what they said was "Kool-Aid" between them. We had NO IDEA that it was Boones Farm wine. And when you came up to our campsite and yelled "Is Jill here?" Jill didn't say, "Is that my f***ing dad?" She actually said, "I hope that's my dad." So please don't be too hard on Jill. And I sure would appreciate it if you didn't tell our parents about this. We love camping and our Eureka! Tetragon 8 Tent and wouldn't want it taken away from us.
Sincerely,
Derek Hines, 9th grade, Lincoln Junior High
p.s. Jill and Peggy were only wearing bras and panties because their clothes had gotten covered in poison ivy.

Bota Bag

2009-02-02T08:18:00.000-08:00

OK, so we've all known that guy that goes to the ballgame and 10 minutes into it, he reaches inside his coat and voila, he pulls out his wineskin thingamabob filled with a sweet elixer of unknown origin. He takes a swig of it and hands it to you with the universal gesture for "take a swig." If somebody at work handed you their coffee cup and said take a swig, you'd look at them like they were crazy. But in the carefree, anything goes confines of a football stadium you throw caution to the wind and level that calfskin-coated grail to your lips. The 90-proof grog immediately infuses your body with a warming goodness. Your buddy now gestures you to give it back. But you've fallen head-over-heels in love with this pleasure-giver and refuse its return. And as happens so often in these situations, the punches start flying and you end up in the holding tank beneath the stadium for the rest of the game. Is that how you want things to go? Hell no! You deserve better. That's why you need to get your own wineskin! The Bota Bag is the perfect choice. From Bota of Boulder, this classic design will last you a lifetime. It's a one-liter bag constructed with high-grade U.S.A. neoprene. It also floats when full and is an excellent insulator. Not that what you're drinking needs insulation, hehe. BTW, the purchaser, should that be you, agrees to hold-harmless BigFire Camping Gear for any legal action taken against the purchaser after using the Bota Bag. You're a grown-up after all.

2009-01-28T11:59:00.000-08:00

How many stories have you heard about someone's backpack being stolen while they were traveling? Finally, someone came out with a cool product to protect your travel belongings. Introducing the Pacsafe Antitheft Backpack Protector.
Featuring patented eXomesh® Ultimate security technology, the PacSafe is an adjustable high-tensile stainless steel locking device, designed to cover and protect a variety of bags and packs from tampering, pilfering and theft. Throw it around your pack, secure it to something fixed and get on with your adventure. Four sizes mean there's one to fit almost every type of backpack, soft-sided wheeled luggage or duffel bag. Designed for large packs, medium-sized packs with externally fitted gear, large duffels and soft sided wheeled luggage. Perfect for loaded trips or extended touring. The PacSafe 85 (the mid size model) was awarded Backpacker Magazine's coveted Editors' Choice Award.

Price:

Was $79.99 Sale! $69.99

GSI Glacier JavaPress

2009-01-27T21:43:00.000-08:00

Sacre Bleu! Damn the French with their effete accents, their duvets, their bidets, and their damn fancy coffee. Excuse me, I meant café. Don't you just want to hate them? But you can't, because that coffee is so good! But how's a man to get good coffee like that when he's out in the wilderness? Well, the waiting is at an end. Now is the time to get yourself a GSI Glacier Stainless JavaPress.

The GSI Glacier JavaPress makes French Press coffee renowned for its elegant simplicity and a rich, smooth, pure taste that cannot be duplicated with drip, filter or percolator-type coffee makers.

The GSI JavaPress is a thermally-insulated, double-walled carafe with a pour-through lid to keep your coffee hotter longer. The durable Glacier Stainless® steel body and stable, high impact plastic base will give you years of reliable coffee in the outdoors.

AMK Pocket Survival Pak

2009-01-26T13:57:00.000-08:00

Admit it. You're one of those doomsdayers that think the end of the world is coming soon. Not sure what gave you that idea. Perhaps it was the meteoric rise in greenhouse gases that have eliminated much of the ice caps? Maybe it was the fact that now every Tom, Dick or Harry country can get their own nukes? Maybe you're a strict follower of the Mayan Eagle Bowl calendar which predicts the end of the world in 2012? Well, talk is cheap, my friend. Actions speaker louder than words. Cliché, cliché ad infinitum. What you need is a plan. Say you're out walking the dog when it all goes down and you can't make it back to your survival shelter housing 3 years' worth of provisions. What will you do then, smart guy? I'd say the first smart thing you can do is carry the AMK Pocket Survival Pak. It's got everything you need to survive in the jungle - concrete or otherwise. Fish Hooks for catching fish out of Central Park Pond (sure they'll be contaminated, but a guy's got to eat), Duct Tape for extra padding on the soles of your shoes (post-apocolyptic pavement might be very hot), Tinder Quick for getting that fire going and cooking up some nice "Sewer Rat Stew," and tons more stuff. Just think, if you plan ahead and have a cameraman follow you whereever you go, you may just have the makings of another survivalist TV show! (Oops...sorry...no TVs left on planet.)
This Survival Pak, made by Adventure Medical Kits, weighs in at a miniscule 3.9 oz and is only 4" x 5" x 0.652" big so it'll fit nicely in your pants. Sure, you'll hear the joke "...or are you just happy to see me?" about a million times, but you'll have the last laugh when those guys come begging for you to catch 'em some fish.
As the AMEX spokesperson Karl Malden so famously said, "Don't leave home without it."
Here's what the AMK Pocket Survival Pak includes:

Duct Tape
1	Duct Tape, 2" x 26"
Instrument
1	Pencil
4	Safety Pins
Sewing
1	Sewing Needle, #18, Chenille
1	Sewing Thread, Bobbin #69, Nylon
Survival Instructions
1	Waterproof Survival Instructions
Survival Tools
1	Aluminum Foil, Heavy Duty, 3 Sq. Ft.
1	Compass, Button, Liquid Filled
4	Fish Hook, #10
1	Fresnel Magnifier
10	Nylon Cord, #18, Braided, (10 ft. 100lb test)
1	Pocket Survival Pak Contents List
6	Safety Wire, Stainless Steel, (6 ft of 0.020")
1	Scalpel with Handle, Sterile, Disposable, #22 Blade
1	Signal Mirror, Rescue Flash
1	Snap Swivel, Size 12
1	Spark-Lite
2	Split Shot, Lead B
4	Tinder Quick
1	Waterproof Paper
1	Whistle, Rescue Howler

Oregon Scientific Portable Public Alert Radio

2009-01-26T13:53:00.000-08:00

Due to a writer's strike at BigFire Camping Gear, the following product review is being given by me, Jim Spergousy, the web designer.

I ain't no wordsmith like that other fella that writes in this blog. All's I know is that I'm supposed to write something about this here radio. I guess he figured that since I got one of these I oughta know what I'm talking about.

Well, all I really can tell you is I don't recommend leaving home without one. The WR103 Portable Public Alert Radio provides emergency alerts anywhere in the U.S. When you're camping, traveling, boating, hiking, or working outdoors, use the WR103 to receive weather information and emergency broadcasts from the National Weather Service.

Let me give you an example of why you might wanna get one of these. Me and my buddy Glen went camping last summer. We didn't even think about checking what the weather was going to be like. Glen has this super waterproof tent that can practically float on water, so I figured whatever the heavens could bring on wouldn't be a match for us. Uh, well, I was wrong. A damn lighting bolt hit a tree right next to us, and that baby came straight down on our tent. Luckily it landed right between ol' Glen and me. But that tent was ruined. Boy, Glen was pissed. Oops, I mean mad. We ended up sleeping in the truck that night. My back is still screwed up from that.

Anyway, like I said, I'm no writer, but I do talk from experience. GET ONE OF THESE!

--Jim

Read This Blog

2009-01-23T23:34:00.001-08:00

Hello...

I'm the person writing all of these witty product reviews for your enjoyment. If you like them, please make a comment in the comments section. Good, bad, indifferent, I don't care. I have a desperate need for attention and this a cry for help. I don't want to go back to writing boring product reviews such as, "it does this and that." But if no one cares, I might as well. Consider this a starving artist's sale. "Art" for the low, low price of FREE. And it's much better looking than that velvet Elvis picture you bought last week. I saw you buy it, so don't pretend it's not over your fireplace this very instant. (Isn't weird how Elvis keeps staring at you no matter what part of the room you're in?)

So help a guy out. And while you're at it, visit www.bigfirecampinggear.com for all your camping gear needs. (I AM trying to run a business after all.)