BIGFOOT NEWS and SASQUATCH SIGHTINGS

More Crazy California Sasquatch Sightings! Big Sur and Bay Area Hit!

2026-10-29T15:06:25.582-05:00

Big Sur Institute infiltrated by Seeker Sasquatch? Tilden Park scene of yet another vicious Bigfoot Attack?

The Central Coast region of cattywampus California has witnessed once again more alarming Sasquatch sightings. In response, the Governor issued a short statement on the matter. “Ahhh... I'm like you, I'm no better than you, I'm a 960 SAT guy... I cannot, you've never seen me read a sasquatch speech. I made bad decisions regarding Bigfoot sightings. That being said - the question is, does the public care about that?".

The Michelin-Starred Restaurant Frenchie Laundry also issued a no-comment in sympathy regarding Sasquatch alarms, as a political damage control precaution. "We are, of course, open for luxury dining... if you can afford the price.", sniffed a resident restaurant sommelier.

Birthplace of the Human Potential Movement visited by sneaky Sasquatch?

A seriously lost traveller, driving south on the rugged central coastal region of the Pacific Coast Highway trying to find Carmel, spotted an elusive Bigfoot loitering around the entrance to The Institute. "That ape-guy was gazing at the sign, but it couldn't read. Then it sniffed the air and detected organic foods nearby. That did it! He dived into the bushes at the front gate and quickly disappeared. I managed to get one photo. Eh, I finally found Carmel... but had to turn-around at San Simeon and head back north. I have trouble with GPS."

Mysterious reports of missing vegetarian meals and spiritual wellness teas prompted management to investigate. Evidence of Bigfoot activity was found, including some aromatic evidence which had to be bagged and incinerated. After the alleged Sasquatch visit, rumors are flying that The Institute may change their mission statement to "Birthplace of the Hominid Potential Movement".

Tilden Park Bigfoot Attack! "You! Not Again! J'Accuse!"

Serial Bigfoot Victim Divot Looney was attacked yet again by a maurading Sasquatch, this time at Tilden Park while on a crypto-nature hike. "I recognized the dasterdly brute. But the park rangers don't care. I just don't understand it! I take all proper simian protection precautions. I spray very expensive and very nasty anti-bigfoot spray on me from head-to-toe. I shower every day and use anti-bigfoot deodorant and soap, which I was promised repels nasty Sasquatches. But nothing worked! It's all garbage! I paid Dr. Blinng a lot of money for that stuff. I'm beginning to suspect he's a quack?"

Divot Looney was able to take one shaky photo of the aggressive Bigfoot before passing out from the intense fumes emitted by the beast and from the 'scent-free' anti-bigfoot products he was wearing. Doctors say his sense of smell should return in about 18 months, if he's lucky.

Ricard Scheister, Legal Counsel and a Member of the Bored of Directors for the YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE located in seaside Yuba City California was on paid retainer and was thus able to comment. "I'll make this quick, my legal time is charged by the second. It appears to me the Bigfoot who snuck into The Institute was a Hominid, but not a Homo-Sapian, and is therefore exempt from any damage it may have incurred during it's incursion. I'm ready to represent the Sasquatch and defend his innate right to... wait, what's that you say? Bigfoots are stone-cold-broke and have zero assets? So it can't pay me? Well, that changes things! I will contact The Institute and offer my legal services to sue for damages from wanton and scurrilous behavior from that malicious Sasquatch. I'll charge by the minute, I'm a reasonable man!"

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-life of the YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE, was in denial. "I deny Looney's claims he was sold fake anti-bigfoot products! Just because they've never been patented, tested in a lab, tested in the field, or certified by the FDA doesn't mean they don't work! I'll professionally inform Looney to just use more of these custom products. I'll even knock down the prices 2%... I'm not a crook. I'd share the formulas, but that might get our intrepid local county sanitation and hygiene departments overly excited. I mix 'em up in my bathtub, wearing a gas mask."

Bigfoot Quockerwodger Alarms Quebec Province! Canada Convulsive!

2026-10-27T10:13:37.801-05:00

Sasquatch Ape Wreaks Havoc in Montreal and Quebec City! No One Notices!

Ah Quebec... the home of Poutine, perennial Franco-secession, real maple syrup, and collapsing freeway overpasses. Yes, Quebec has a charm and beauty all its own... while the rest of Canada says "you can keep it!". But Nature has other plans! Migrating Sasquatches have been spotted in Montreal and Quebec City... and they are moving east in search of rancid poutine. There are intense fears these hairy beasts will eventually arrive in New Foundland, where they will pick up the strange and incomprehensable ways of Newfie communication. "An unnatural combination of Quebec French and Newfie English will be a diabolical disaster!", declared a serial linguist academic languishing in Ottawa.

Bigfoot Crashes Grand Prix Cycliste de Québec!

Major cycling road races are infamous for idiotic fans crossing the road in front of charging pelotons, team chaser cars, and determined old ladies with racing walkers. But a Bigfoot crossing the road at the wrong time is a first! The Peloton crashed in a mighty pile just yards from where the nasty beast darted in front of them. "The shock of seeing that furball, the stench, and the swarm of flies following IT was too much! We lost all control in the front, and the entire group went down. A few riders decided to retire from the sport on-the-spot and left their machines smashed and stinking on the road... contaminated by disgusting mangy mats of Bigfoot hair, thousands of fly droppings, hair lice everywhere, you name it! They don't pay us team riders enought for hazard pay!"

T-Rex Versus Sasquatch!

Nasty Jurassic Park Attack Scene in Montreal goes amock. The terrified Bigfoot reportedly barely escaped the attacking apex predator. The beast sought solace in yet more rancid poutine hiding in nearby trash bins. What is going on with "Quebec Man" and another hungry T-Rex behind the Bigfoot is open to conjecture.

Bigfoot spotted in Quebec City!

Château Frontenac escaped potential damage from the Sasquatch sneaking into the building, fortunately. The Fontaine de la Place d'Armes faired badly, as the Bigfoot both drank from the fountain and then proceeded to take a bath in it. City Sanitation workers say it will be months before the fountain is decontaminated.

Bigfoot and Pandas in Montreal Botanical Gardens!

An perplexed Uber-Panda tourist caught a photo of a Sasquatch serenely strolling through the gardens. "That Bigfoot was very courteous. It stopped to gaze at the Panda sculptures. It then sniffed and looked at my bag... and proceeded to grab all my organic-pestcatarian-fried-fish-jerky-snacks and scampered off! Sure IT was a smelly thief, but IT was a nice smelly thief!"

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the illustrious Yeti Not Seti Institute, located in Francophone Yuba City, California, had something to say. "I have something to say! Pay attention you numbskulls! The recent Quebec Sasquatch sightings incident is amazing. I was very lucky to be there at the time, researching suspected ancient fossilized Bigfoot coprolites found on display at a dive Montreal Bar. The bar owner only wanted $3,000 American dollars for these precious samples! Of course, I paid him and took these precious poops back to the Institute for analysis. Some naysayers mock me and claim I was a dupe and paid good money for freeze dried (big) dog feces. They are fools. Fools, I tell you! You'll see!"

Montreal and Bigfoot. Institute Discovers Amazing NEWS!

2026-10-25T18:02:24.966-05:00

Major Historical Discovery and Art Mystery in Montreal! See the Yeti Not Seti Institute Homepage for MORE!

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the Yeti Not Seti Institute, is most pleased!

Montreal Bigfoot Expedition Discoveries!

https://yeti-not-seti-institute.blogspot.com/2026/10/montreal-bigfoot-expedition-discovers.html

Montreal Mystery Deepens. City goes APE over Monkey Statue! Locals Mystified!

Slinky Sasquatch Spotted at Glacier National Park! Montana Mortified!

2026-10-03T16:30:30.351-05:00

Rare video and still shots of Bigfoot Locomoting around in Montainous Montana!

In a world exclusive, this newsworthy blog has obtained precious video and still photography of a bonafide Bigfoot in the wilds of Glacier National Park in Montana. "We're absolutely amazed!", exclaimed Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI not SETI Institute. "This may rival and exceed the famous Patterson–Gimlin film from 1967! We are also a bit petty and jealous that no one from the Institute caught these photos and video first. President Blinng is most unpleased."

These amazing photos and video shots were obtained by Dr. Lulu Lomaxx and Kelvin Kmess, who were on an expedition to the wild unknowns of Montana to find the elusive Bigfoot. As luck would have it, a hairy Sasquatch crossed their paths soon after their arrival into Big Sky Country!

Dr. Lulu Lomaxx quickly took a camera shot of the running beast as it darted across the park trail. "Of course, the photo came out fuzzy and blurry. I understand that is pretty much the accepted industry standard for these sorts of ape-man cryptozoological sightings.", she sniffed.

Snappy Sasquatch Video:

The visual jewel in the crown was a short but shaky video taken by Kelvin Kmess, or "KK", as he is called by members of the international Sasquatch research community. "I was very fortunate to have my video camera ready to go when that amazing Bigfoot ran across our trail. Of course, the video came out fuzzy and blurry. No doubt this is the accepted standard for Bigfoot video quality.", he opined.

Erk Holohead was beside himself. "I'm next to myself with excitement! I must pull my sides back together. These photos and videos are some of the best (worst?) we've ever encountered at the Institute. OK, that's not saying much but still... amazing stuff. Dr. Lulu Lomaxx and Kelvin Kmess are the guilty parties... er... couragous content contributors."

"We sniff financial gain in all this. All we have to do is trick Kmess and Lomaxx into signing our sneaky copyright surrender agreement, see? Drafted by our shady lawyer Ricard Scheister, see? They'll get a few Balboas, and we'll laugh all the way to the bank with millions. Millions I tell ya! Errr, I don't think Kmess and Lomaxx read these blogs, so we should be OK with our plan. If that don't work, we'll bribe them with meaningless seats on our Bored of Directors, suckers."

Gotland Gobsmacked by Viking Bigfoot Sighting!

2026-09-27T14:37:47.780-05:00

Visby Visibly Shocked! Are Swedes a Bunch of ABBA Sasquatch Sissies?!

The ancient, historic, not hysteric, and chill town of Visby, located on the Swedish island of Gotland, was transformed into pure primate panic when rumours spread about a North American Sasquatch infiltrating the area. "Yeah sure, we've received numerous irate reports from worried locals and testy tourists about a sneaky ape-man running about the area. Not only is the monkey-man scaring people and small dogs, but it's also turning over trash bins looking for old Stekt Strömming - leftover fried herring to you - and other nasties.", said a spokesman for the Visby Police Authority.

Baltic Bigfoot caught loitering outside the Town's Defensive Walls! Is THIS the real reason fortress walls were built in Visby in the first place, centuries ago?

The hairy beast caught reconnoitering Visby's perimeter for some devilish purpose. "That Bigfoot wasn't a spy. He wasn't a Russian or French. But he was obnoxious just the same!", exclaimed a local tourist guide.

The true intentions of the Bigfoot - pillaging and looting - became apparent when a Swedish Police Officer spotted the lurking Sasquatch hiding in bushes and wearing a Viking Helmut. "It's always a bad sign when outsiders come in wearing Cosplay Viking Helmuts", exclaimed a local professor of crypto-history, "They pick-pocket when they can, sell overly sugary candies to unsuspecting customers, and never pay their parking tickets!".

The Visby Police deployed their C-9 Unit in search of the evasive Bigfoot. The Police Cat is a Maine Coon, which is the largest housecat in the world. "The K-9 Units were all spooked by the smell of the Sasquatch. They refused to search for the beast! To be honest, we are all spooked. The Police Cat didn't mind, of course. It ate all the old fried herring left scattered by the ape-man. A nice day for the cat!"

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI not SETI Institute located in nordic-like Yuba City California, was impressed by the Sasquatch sighting in Gotland. "This is becoming too much of a coincidence. I was yet again in the same area as the Bigfoot beast. I'm getting a little concerned! How does the ape-man get around? How did it wind up on this exotic and strategic island in the Baltic Sea? Is it a Putin Spy? Or a deranged ABBA fan? Worse, a lost Finn? The world demands answers!"

ROBERTS REDWOOD PARK in RACK and RUIN! BIGFOOT BLAMED!

2026-08-21T10:22:23.561-05:00

Suspicious Sasquatch Activity at Roberts Redwood Park! Bigfoot Attack! Mounds of Unauthorized Organic Fertilizer!

Roberts Regional Recreation Area was the scene of scurrilous Sasquatch savagery last week. Park officials are keeping very quiet. A massive simian cover-up is suspected!

A Precious Trees Habitat Enhancement Project has been put on hold following the discovery of a massive odorous animal scat from an unknown beast. "The entire area is badly contaminated! While we can't say what sort of critter actually left this digusting souvenir, we do know it suffured from severe digestion issues and loved old rancid fried foods, walked on two legs, and was extremely hairy from tip-to-toe. But we're flummoxed.", sighed a Park Ranger who was suiting up for the massive detox project, "This beast leaves dung piles bigger than any St. Bernard I ever knew!"

Brave but gullible Divot Looney, a member of the bored of directors with the Yeti not Seti Institute, was conducting a scientific exploration of the park for signs of Sasquatches. He was attacked yet again! After being released from the emergency room, he asked why Dr. Karl Blinng, who lead the expedition, didn't attempt to save him from the beastly attack. Blinng cackled and said "I'm dumb BUT I'm not stupid! Better that Bigfoot attack Divot than me. Besides, I was taking pictures for my rabid social-media followers. Great Sasquatch content, especially when that ape-man almost tore Looney's head off! That was pretty funny."

Blinng made an amazing shot of the beast as it sauntered off after the attack on Looney. "This is a million dollar photo! I can sell this the National Prober for a lot of mullah! It was worth Looney almost losing his head."

Erk Holohead released a Yeti not Seti Institute propaganda, er, press release: "Billions of readers of this informative news blog are asking if Looney has recovered from his Bigfoot attack and is OK? Well, at least a few people are asking, mostly bill collectors. We're happy to announce that Looney has completely recovered from his horrendous ordeal and received a few hundred Venezuelan Bolivares in compensation from the Institute. Like we said, he's rather gullible."

Sasquatch Hubbub in Helsinki! Sasquatch-kaaos Suomessa!

2026-08-04T08:31:02.851-05:00

Poor Porvoo! Harrassed Helsinki! Sibileius "Momument" Mystery! Bigfoots!

Did we say Bigfoots in Finland?

Finland has been the scene of recent wild Bigfoot sightings and big 'adventures', which has inadvertently triggered deep-rooted controversy over fiendish Finnish modern-art monuments. A North American Sasquatch is to blame. "Typical American Tourist.", sniffed a trendy Kotikalja-sipping Suomi unemployed social-media sophisticate, coiffed with glow-in-the-dark purple hair and armored with numerous metallic facial piercings.

Sasquatch spotted at Helsinki's Senate Square! Startled locals and tourists quickly fled the area, often getting lost or on the wrong bus in their eagerness to escape the wafts of furry fetidness permeating the area.

Pretty Porvoo did not escape the hairy beast's presence. Spotted along the Porvoonjoki by amazed locals and alarmed fabulously furry dogs, the beast skulked along the riverbank and ate ancient rock-hard licorice. "Licorice is not amber, although they are similar in texture.", proclaimed a local licorice peddler.

Fierce Finnish defenses at Porvoo were useless against the beast. "Look, we sell the world's best black licorice and chocolates to tourists in our little town. We let Helsinki do all the heavy defense work. We aren't prepared to fight smelly Crypto-Creatures. Voi herranjumala, did that ape-man leave a mess!" said a stunned city sanitation employee. A anti-crypto-creature army spokesman did appreciate the "Bigfoot was Here" graffiti joke left on an antique artillery piece by the hairy one; "Kappas, we thought it was our demented puny Russian neighbor Pieni-Putin... it was!"

The mid-century abstract 'modern art' monument dedicated to the composer Sibelius is at once considered remarkable, ugly, striking, silly, serious, goofy, memorable, controversial, and is generally agreed to be a massive waste of taxpayer Euros. As a consequence, the metal slag is beloved by much of Helsinki's culture vultures. A mysterious graffiti tag was coincidently discovered after the recent Sasquatch invasion, which only adds to the monument's reputation. "Well, the hairy beast wrote, 'What the Heck is THIS?' across the sculpture. We kind of like the vandal touch; it adds artful color and character." pontificated an effete Arts and Culture journalist no one actually reads.

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI NOT SETI bored of directors, was peculiarly in Finland during the Sasquatch sightings. "It is truly a nordic mystery as to how this adventurous North American Bigfoot made it over to the Baltic countries. The real danger, of course, is that this furry beast might make itself at home in the endless fir-tree forests of the north in Finland and go native. What would the beast eat? Are fermented wild berries, magical mystery mushrooms, raw moose steak, disjointed deer joints, and old rancid deep-fried lihapiirakka stuffed into trash bins enough Sasquatch sustenance for these dense monkey-men to live on?"

More Summer Sasquatch Roadtrip Sightings!

2026-07-19T08:15:47.598-05:00

Road Trippin' Bigfoots Gone Wild in the Summer of 2026! Texas and California Hit Again!

More disturbing reports of Bigfoot Sightings during preposterous summer road-trips have surfaced yet again in Texas and California. Why? For what purpose? Leave us alone already!

Luling Texas Loco After Bigfoot Spotted at Buckeees!

The small town of Luling Texas is famous for the famous Luling Watermelon Thump... and having the largest convenience store in the world. Weary travelers searching for gasoline, clean restrooms, and lots of stuff they never knew they needed stop in droves at the even more famous Buckeees off I-10... and were furiously flabbergasted to meet a skulking Sasquatch face-to-face!

Bigfoot and Buckeee, best pals forever. Witnesses said the odorous monkey-beast tried to talk turkey with the stoic beaver. "He isn't too bright", said a store manager.

Shocking staff and customers alike, the Sasquatch pondered the World Famous Jerky Wall for some time before grabbing an armload of the stuff and running out of the store, towards Woman Hollering Creek. "He liked the World Famous Jalapeño Jerkys... he cleaned us out!", lamented the store's World Famous Jerky Specialist.

The Bigfoot thankfully avoided using the ultra-pristine sparkly-clean NASA approved restrooms. Erk Holohead was amazingly coincidentally there during the Bigfoot Attack. "He preferred to do his business in a pasture behind the large Buckeees Barbecue Sauce Tank out back. The alarmed cows were not amused. I feel sorry for the cows. I feel sorry for the water table! Jalapeños in large quantities is a recipe for a disaster. Call the Governor!"

Good Hike Nearly Spoiled by Sasquatch Sighting in San Ramon!

A Sasquatch crossed paths with a gang of Hikers in the hills near San Ramon California. The incident raises multiple questions of how hikers can protect themselves from amorous Bigfoots.

The lost hikers fully expected the Bigfoot to attack or at least throw fecal matter in their direction, but it strangely and semi-sedately crossed the human's path and utterly ignored them. "I don't know whether to feel relieved or snubbed!", said one mystified rambler.

Divot Looney was a member of the ambitious San Ramon hiking expedition, and feels rather lucky. "For once I wasn't attacked by a Bigfoot. It must be my new defensive strategy... I use soap now, and I carry a bar of soap with me when in dangerous Sasquatch Country... soap to a Bigfoot is like garlic to a vampire. I read that somewhere..."

Dr. Karl Blinng warned Divot not to get complacent. "You better be prepared, fool! Next time also use a deodorant! Ahhh, your fellow humans will also appreciate this small gesture of civilized personal hygiene." Erk Holohead also offered unsolicited advice. Why not? "Whatever you do, don't use scented deodorants near Bigfoots. Some of those underarm scents act as extremely powerful aphrodisiacs to Sasquatches of both sexes. I'm still experiencing PTSD over an unfortunate incident years ago!"

Bigfoot Caught Lurking at Russian Gulch California!

Kikki Dumpster, an avant-garde photographer from trendy Sacramento experimenting with artistic yet moody-fern-school-black-and-white photography accidentally caught a Sasquatch sneaking around in the background. "I was very proud of my fabulous fern shot, but that big ape-man spoiled it. I'm sick of nature, I'm going back to taking photos of Soup Cans!"

A rival green-fern-school photographer (they are fiercely competitive) also reported a one-in-a million fern-photo opportunity bombed to smithereens by a nasty Bigfoot. "I was in Russian Gulch State Park, trying to beat my evil career nemisis Ms. Dumpster to an irreplaceable artistic-fern-photo-shoot location, when that THING came bounding through and spoiled my shots and trampled the priceless ferns. It was horrendous! I guess I'll have to go back to photographing dog portraits again, curse that hairy beast!"

Norway Numb from Bigfoot Sightings! Norge nummen etter Big Foot Observation!

2026-06-20T09:23:46.674-05:00

Sneaky Sasquatch in Oslo! Norwegians Really Worked Up This Time!

Like a bad dream, Bigfoot sightings popped up all over Oslo, Norway last month. Oslo city police politely request normally stoic city dwellers to remain calm, comatose, and semi-alert for future fur-fetish dangers. Panic at home if you must!

Startled tourists saw what looked like a North American Bigfoot or an Inflatable Advertising Sasquatch Blimp perched on top of the world famous Holmenkollbakken Ski Jump above Oslo. Holmenkollbakken means "Who would be crazy enough to try this?" in Norwegian. Speculation is rampant that only a Bigfoot could have conceived of this sport?

Sasquatch sightings reached the center of Oslo, near the National Theater. "Even the pigeons where afraid!", commented a very steamed-off coffee vendor nearby. "Bad for business. Some small yappy dogs put up a ferocious defense near the trash bins, frustrating the big ape's nasty plans to scavenge for old lutefisk".

Sightseeing Sasquatch skulking near the Norway Parliament Building! Parliament closed! No one noticed! "It took a while to determine if he was a member of Parliament or a stinkende villape, but when he used the plaza to relieve an urgent call of nature we knew immediately... he was with the Green Party."

At the Frammmm Ship Museum, there is a remarkable model of the Frammmm solidly stuck in Arctic Ice for three years - - as a what-could-go-wrong nautical exploration experiment. Overlooked by modern museum experts, a Sasquatch is clearly depicted as part of the crew! "This entire expedition was incredible! Deliberately allowing the Arctic Ice to freeze the ship and allow it travel in ice flows for 3 years? Insane. No wonder a Bigfoot volunteered for duty! Why isn't this remarkable history more commonly known... other than causing widespread panic? Why?"

Were Bigfoots Vikings? Were Vikings Bigfoots? Or at least cosplay Wagnerian Opera Fans? Ancient Alien Theorists are convinced there is compelling evidence for unpleasant Sasquatch and Viking interactions one thousand years ago. "Meeting scraggy Sasquatches, not savage Skraelings, may been the REAL reason those Lief Erikson Vikings would rather chill in Iceland and freeze in icy Greenland than make a permanent home in Vinland and live in Miami Beach Condos during the winter.", pontificated one very unusually coiffed ancient alien cable-tv expert.

Erk Holohead, a bored member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute in fjord friendly Yuba City, California, was amazed. "I'm in a knotted Nordic mental maze. I am totally 'mazed! Jeg er helt forbløffet! Bigfoots, Vikings, Ski Jumps, Lutefisk, Wagner, bar soap... the pernicious possibilities from Norseman Sasquatch interactions over the centuries are astounding! Norway has a lot to answer for! After this World Cup is over, that is. In the meantime, forget about it."

Bigfoot Sightings in Oklahoma, Texas, and California! 2026 Sasquatch Summer Madness Begins!

2026-06-12T09:59:42.098-05:00

"On the Road Again." near fatal mistake for 2026 Summer Travelers: Sasquatch Sightings spoil a good drive!

Multiple reports have flooded the Yeti Not Seti institute from worrisome road-trip encounters with Bigfoots. "We appreciate these vastly important bits of Bigfoot news.", pleaded Erk Holohead, an Institute bored of director, "But stop being cheapskates and put real, not xeroxed, stamps on your letters? We're tired of paying for your postage!"

Catoosa Oklahoma left Caterwauling from Bigfoot Adventure!

The famous Blue Whale Roadside attraction in Catoosa was sullied by a random Bigfoot sighting. "I was totally surprised, yet somehow weirdly serene, when suddenly a big smelly Bigfoot photo-bombed my photo of the famous cerulean Sirene in Catoosa.", masticated Ricard Scheister, an also member of the Instituted. Scheister is a retired lawyer who has been institutionalized multiple times for assorted legal issues, though he always manages to get out and evade charges.

Sasquatch, Catoosa Blue Whale, Bologna, Adrian, Middle Point of Somewhere Cafe, Cadillac Ranch. A road trip to remember! Countless hours of new-age therapy will help, a bit.

"Speaking of mastication, I had a wonderful culinary novelty whilst driving 80 MPH (I kept getting passed, but I like the left lane!) on I-40 towards Amarillo and the Cadillac Ranch. We were ordered by a 'friend' of mine to try out a famous fried-bologna sandwich lathered in peanut butter at the famous Middle Point of Somewhere Cafe in Adrian, Texas. It was very healthy and interesting! I'm going to open an artisanal sandwich shop when I get home and this amazing item will be get top billing! No Bigfoots spotted. If they ever found out about this sandwich, Adrian Texas is in trouble.", continued Scheister.

Northern California Hit with Multiple Bigfoot Sightings!

California Fish & Game officials are casually investigating a mysterious empty fishing boat on the Sacramento River. Sasquatches are to blame. A crime scene is suspected. "We blame Bigfoots. We always blame Bigfoots.", confided a slightly overweight fishy games officer. "The fishing boat was beached along the riverbank. The fisherman have completely disappeared. We found Bigfoot tracks all over the place. No fingerprints. All the smelly bait and fried snacks were missing. We fear the worst! That is to say we may have to work this weekend on the case, which really stinks because I was going Speckled Snipe Hunting on Saturday."

Missing Fly Fisherman, Empty Boat, Sasquatch Sighting. Connected?

Wine Country Hike Marred by Sasquatch Attack! Vinologists almost Vindicated!

In a completely separate but somehow curiously related incident, several bargain-basement jug wine makers were ambushed while hiking through brushy hills in California wine country, while looking for lost grapes. "It's not like we were desperately poaching other people's vineyards for higher quality grape cuttings." sniffed Crass FFFFleps, vinologist at Dollar-a-Gallon-Rotgut Wines LLC, "Well, we were poaching, but so what? It's standard business practice around here. But that Sasquatch attack really messed up our vine cutting liberation plans. The nasty beast had a stench like you wouldn't believe! The beast's appearance had a mangy looking color and clarity. Its wild aroma was beyond words, and the hairy notes are unmentionable. If this Sasquatch was a wine, the palate taste would hint at earthy, I mean really earthy, flavors. Best not to talk about texture and mouthfeel. The finish? Well, if these qualities were ever but into a wine bottle, you wouldn't want to finish it! You'd want to call 911!".

Bigfoot plus Wine Country equals Vinegar.

Grape Cuttings Poaching Expedition Thwarted! Sasquatch ruins planned raids.

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute located in Wino Friendly Yuba City, California, was feeling exuberant. "I'm inebriated! I mean exuberated! At last we have verified sightings of Sasquatches in Oklahoma and in Northern California Wine Country! As a pestatarian, I eat sea-life but no mammalian red meat... but an undercover 'research' to trip to Catoosa will allow me to savor a mouth-watering Oklahoma filet 14 ounce Filet Mignon steak, medium well, and no one I know will be the wiser for it. As far as wine country goes, I have a tipsy top secret plan. If I can bottle the unique flavors, notes, and essences of bigfoots and put them into a wine bottle with a screw-cap, I could make a fortune! Gotta work on that pesky wine texture and mouth-feel a bit. I can also make sparkling wine as a mass-market spin-off product. Great for bad BBQs. Ha! Who needs the FDA, anyway!"

Copenhagen Cowers! Goes Coo Coo Over Sasquatch Sighting!

2026-06-04T22:02:56.800-05:00

Denmark Demented! Bigfoot spotted in Copenhagen! København går amok!

The normally laid-back city of Copenhagen was assaulted by a mysterious North American Bigfoot over the May Day weekend, disrupting traffic, tourism, and overall Danish citizen mellowness.

May Day was a fine time for local denizens to visit the Royal Park, frolic about, and drink OK beer. Unfortunately, this savage Sasquatch thought the same thing.

A Royal Park eyewitness enjoying the spring weather claimed the beast sauntered through the park heading straight to the Rosenborg Slot Royal Palace. "That big mangy ape walked like it was the King himself! Ah, there is absolutely no resemblance whatsoever. Anyway, our King knows how to use a razor. This Sasquatch creature doesn't have a clue."

The errant Bigfoot, mere seconds before it entered the Rosenborg Slot Castle and did something truly and remarkably disgusting.

The beast somehow slipped past the Castle Royal Guards on duty, and snuck through a side window. Things went badly wrong from there.

The Royal Loo. A precious symbol of Denmark. The Royal Castle was the victim of Bigfoot Graffiti and much, much worse.

"We think the nasty beast had an extremely urgent call-of-nature situation. It saw the Royal Loo and proceeded to empty it's putrefactive bowels. The resulting stench was so bad we had to evacuate tourists overcome with nausea and close the Castle!", said a shaken royal guard. "We're trained to handle just about anything threatening or oidous, but this... this... this... I just can't talk about it right now!"

"This Bigfoot beast is a hairy smelly frafalden!" exclaimed a stressed curator of the Rosenborg Slot Royal Castle. "That frygteligt bæst caused hundreds of thousands of Krone in damage to royal historic artifacts and in emergency bio-hazard clean-up remediation fees. That's about $241.95 in US dollars. Tak til Gud we have thousands of tourists visit every week to this place. Those rubes will have no idea what happened here. We'll break even in a few days."

The Sasquatch vandalized a famous painting, originally commissioned in the 1700s to warn Royal Families not to marry their first cousins. The monkey man tagged the priceless work of art with a juvenile message that says "I think this chick is HOT!".

But the EU Customs warning sign mentions nothing of Bigfoots! The European Union, driven to urgent action, will create a 10 million Euro, multi-year, multi-lingual task-force to investigate messaging options to update the sign.

Denmark is in an understated Nordic political uproar over this unpleasant Bigfoot incursion. The EU is in a bureaucratic uproar, as usual. Fingers are pointing to the USA as the culprit, as usual. "Is this some sort of blackmail attempt by the Orange Man in the United States to force Denmark to hand over Greenland?", screamed a recent editorial from a Danish Newspaper no one actually reads. The US State Department denies the charge: "We do not deny that the Sasquatch is likely from our country, but we categorically deny sending any such ape beast as an agent provocateur. They are really dumb, dense animals. We mean, really, really thick in the head. Like really really really lacking in brain-cells. Try talking to Canada!"

Erk Holohead, a member of the Bored of Directors of the YETI NOT SETI Institute in Scandinavia-like Yuba City, California, was phlegmatic. "Excuse me a minute, I have some phlegm in my throat. Ahhh, much better now! Look, I was in Denmark during that time of the Sasquatch attacks on København. I don't think it was the fault of the Americans nor the Canadians. It was those sneaky, deceitful, devious Belgians! They'll stop at nothing! Do you hear me? Nothing!!!"

The YETI NOT SETI Institute would like to apologize to the governments of Belgium, Denmark, The United States, Canada, the Danish Royal Family and anyone else offended by any comments made or construed as insulting, rude, crude, or infantile. So back off already! We have a retired lawyer on retainer!

Panamá City Panic! Carnival Crumbles as Bigfoot Crashes Party Scene!

2026-05-22T18:20:16.705-05:00

Gringo Sasquatch Spotted near Carnival Central in Panamá City! Police Perplexed! ¡La policía está perpleja!

Carnival is a big deal in Panamá. But a feral North American Bigfoot looking to 'party hardy' is an even bigger deal - - for Panamá Health and National Security Forces, that is.

What are those creatures in the Poster? Mysterious Graffiti!

"There were signs a Bigfoot was going to show up and cause problems.", stated a spokesman from the Mayor's Office. "Literally. There were signs! Some mysterious buffoon tagged our Carnival signs with "Beeg Fut Aqui" graffiti. Who did this? Why? Estúpidos. We are not laughing!"

Panamá Bigfoot lurking near a Carnival Police Patrol and an expensive Anti-Sasquatch Barrier.

The North American Monkey was spotted sneaking around La Cinta Costera, frantically searching for a way past security guards and extensive fencing to sneak into the special exclusion zone around the Carnival Action without paying. "We could never find the beast", said policeman on duty, "but we could sure smell him. ¡Qué olor tan terrible!".

The disruptive primate photo-bombed numerous tourists at the famous PANAMA Sign and empty fountain near Avenida Balboa.

Panamá City vista ruined by a Simian Sunset. Pesky Bigfoot activity gave no reprieve to the locals or to the city bio-hazards disposal team.

The Bigfoot maliciously tagged an authentic fake Banksy artwork in Bella Vista with juvenile graffiti. The Ape-Hunt continues!

"We believe this ape-monster has left Panamá City some months ago.", said a spokesman for the Mayor, "Hopefully never to return!"

Erk Holohead, a member of the prestigious YETI NOT SETI Institute located in balmy Yuba City, California, and a Bored of Director, was in Panamá during the rash of Sasquatch sightings. "I have a body-rash. Er, I mean it was rash of Panamanian authorities to allow Carnival 2026 to continue in light of a dangerous Sasquatch roaming the City. They were very lucky I was there when the creature was active. I of course offered my extensive Bigfoot knowledge to the Mayor's office, and have let them know my consulting expertise is available for a commensurate fee. Strange, but my phone hasn't rung yet. They must have the wrong number?"

NOT Maui Wowie! Hilo Haunted! Bigfoot Sighting in Horrified Hawaii!

2026-04-28T08:46:00.003-05:00

Hawaiian Island of NOT-Maui Scene of Sasquatch Sighting! "Not a hairy tourist!"

(Editors Note: The Blog's creative-news-writing staff profusely apologize for any confusion caused from mistaking the BIG island of Hawaii with the ~~scenic~~ island of Maui-not-Hawaii. As a token of our sincerity, the Institute is shipping a large sample of moist bonafide Bigfoot excreta collected in San Francisco to a major Hawaiian museum, to be selected by whichever institution pays the least amount in protection money. I kiss your hand, Erk Holohead.)

The island residents of Hawaii required mass sedation after a series of disturbing reports of Bigfoot sightings across major tourist traps cunningly set to trap visitor Kālā kik, or as we locals like to say, Pala'oă mă'kă i hŏ'ŏwă'lĭ ĭ'ă.

Guess which one is the Hog.

"Talk about your mainland invasive species! That Bigfoot was not only invasive it was obnoxious. How it got here is a complete mystery. Our fierce Chihuahua K-9 Patrols completely missed him!", said a local police spokesman sipping on a Not-Maui-Mule during his routine 3 hour lunch.

The Beast almost took a 3 hour tour, just a 3 hour tour. The Captain of the Ship barred the gang-plank. "Ahoy there! I have enough problems with my idiotic crew... get back you mangy land-lubber!"

Hawaii Big Island not Maui Beaches attracted the beach-combing Sasquatch around sunset. "It ate 10 sets of car keys and 4 vape sticks found in the sand!" said a local surf bum.

Hilo beach goers were shocked to see a Sasquatch roam the area, while the beast searched for not-so-fresh poke.

Sasquatch meets a Hawaiian not Mauian Gorilla. Or an Ancient Inca Simian Space Alien? Enquiringly demented minds want to know.

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute, which is located in the ukulele capital of the world in balmy Yuba City California, had something to say. "I have something to say! I was there on the island for vacat... official business. I was conducting very important research into the possibility that Sasquatches reached Hawaii years before humans arrived. I'm convinced the beasts floated on buffalo bladders and let prevailing currents take them to the islands. Anyway, that's what my grant proposal said. Some deep-pocketed idiot was stupid enough to fund my expedition, sucker. Errrrr, strike that last comment!"

Mating Season Bigfoot Spotted at Oroville Dam and Gourmet Sasquatch Restaurant!

2026-04-19T08:53:00.000-05:00

Oroville Residents and Renegade Fly Fisherman Flummoxed at Bigfoot Eats Joint!

The Bigfoot Eats Restaurant near Oroville Dam was subjected to a bonafide Sasquatch Sighting during a crowded lunch hour. Fortunately no panic enthused, since customers assumed the beast was an jokester wearing a Bigfoot suite. "We get a lot of these guys come in dressed-up like a Sasquatch.", exclaimed a veteran employee at the Bigfoot joint. "Most of them look really goofy. But THIS ONE... well, we're wondering if that was a human in a monkey suit or an actual bigfoot!"

This Sasquatch looked too real?

Oroville Police aren't talking much. "Hey we were across town having coffee and donuts, it's our thing you know?" The Mayor's office issued a statement deflecting all blame for Bigfoot activity in the area on Yuba City, stating that since the infamous YETI NOT SETI Institute is located there... the Sasquatch must have been an secret research laboratory escapee.

No eye contact was made during the encounter! People are dumb but not stupid when it comes to aggravating dangerous crypto-wildlife... except city tourists in Yellowstone, apparently.

Shameless Plug for Bigfoot Eats and Market: The Sasquatch Salad was scrumptious.

Sasquatch shocks ferocious fanatical fly fisherman at Lake Oroville.

Lake Oroville Fly fisherman were gobsmacked to see a Sasquatch stroll by on the shoreline way too early in the morning. "That smelly simian sabotaged our secret fishing spot!", complained one irate fisherman. "Now we'll have to settle for fried fish sandwichs at a drive-through. I do like the pickles, though."

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute, was cantankerous. "I'm really cantankerous today! First, my fabulous fly fishing expedition was ruined by a Bigfoot across the lake. Barnacles! Second, the Mayor of Oroville has dared to accused our paranoid but conspiratorial crypto-animal-secret-society of housing Sasquatch specimens in hidden research labs! What balderdash! We only keep Wuhan Lab Viral Specimens in an open petri dish. It's part of our 'cross-culture' program. Nothing to worry about! Nothing to see here! Wait a minute, I need to adjust my face-mask, I feel a bit woozy today."

Sasquatch Versus Jogging Gang at Dive Bar! Run Away!

2026-04-10T10:15:00.000-05:00

Inebriated Sacramento Joggers Astounded at Bigfoot Runner Confrontation! "Worse than a half-marathon!"

Eye-witness accounts of a health-conscious Sacramento Sasquatch in full Bandit Runner Mode. He was also headed in the wrong direction.

Sacramento Police barely averted a aerobically juiced riot when a savage ultra-marathoner Sasquatch barged into a notorious dive bar known to be frequented by weekend jogger gangs. A risky recipe for civil behaviour disorder!

Having Fromage malodorant accompagné d'un mauvais vin does not go well with Bigfoots nearby.

Patrons at the Joggers Bar, having jogged a weekend fun run, were busy drinking bad wine and eating bad cheese. The atmosphere was already tense and full of repressed violence. Attracted by the malevolent odors of mauvais fromage et vin de piètre qualité en décomposition, a ultra-marathon running Sasquatch was distracted from his 'run' and barged into the dive Joggers Bar, looking for the source of these (for him) delectable refreshments.

"I hit the wall when that hairy running poseur showed-up. Seeing that beast steal our gourmand dishes was worse than the most irritating chafing of my groin area when jogging 4 block marathons!" A carefully paced bar fight was averted when the intruder grabbed a chunk of ancient cheese, a dusty wine bottle complete with screw-top, and darted out to rejoin the ultra-marathon race being held nearby. "The moron went in the wrong direction.", smirked a jogger-gang leader, "He's probably searching for a double cheeseburger with fries. Say, that's not a bad idea. Let's go, gang!"

The marathon posing Sasquatch held a threatening unidentified object in its hands before snatching his precious jogging snacks. "French bread carbs can really hurt a jogger!" said a scared eye-witness.

Kiki Dumpster, a newly hatched bored member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute, located in runner's high Yuba City, California, was doping on Bigfoot. "I'm doped! That's why I always win my over-a-certain-age class fun runs! Listen, I was there when that smelly marathoning animal barged in. It's lucky it left when it did, otherwise that mob of drunk joggers in the bar would have left the sandbagging Sasquatch with a nasty charlie horse!"

Holy Sasquatch Fungus! Cow Pasture Exploration, Magic Mushrooms, Bigfoot Sighting!

2026-04-01T11:29:00.001-05:00

Bigfoot Research Team Bungles State Park Bigfoot Sighting! Mushrooms Prime Culprit!

A long-planned Sasquatch Field Expedition by the YETI NOT SETI Institute, deep into the wilds of China Camp California State Park, ended in utter fiasco. Before it was all over, Director-for-Life Karl Blinng lay comatose and drooling in cow patties from an overdose of locally grown mushrooms. Professional Sasquatch victim and bored member Divot Looney suffered severe simian hallucinations and freaked-out furry paranoia from Bigfoots flying around his head like dragonflies. Both 'scientific gentlemen' are still in an undisclosed rehab recovery center somewhere on South of Mission Street.

Advice: Magic Mushrooms and Sasquatch make for a bad trip.

Divot Freaks Out from Bigfoot Magic Mushroom Attack! With Blinng unconscious, who took that photo? Another unsolved Crypto-Mystery!

Magic Fungus:

Divot was able to relate his harrowing experience, as Blinng has not yet recovered the ability to speak. "We were going to test our research-grade tinfoil caps, to see if residual brainwaves would occur when we wear them. Little did I know that Blinng had been distracted by bizarre mushrooms found in a small wooded area. He'd eaten mouthfuls of the stuff. Naturally I had to nibble a bit myself. The next thing I know, Blinng had passed out AND a horrible stench surrounded me... I'd taken a shower that morning so I knew it wasn't me. I looked around and there was a BIGFOOT about to ATTACK ME. Again, dang it! Weird thing was it had wings and glowed purple and spoke in Eastern Esperanto. Then more of the hovering beasts showed up. Then more! Bummer trip, man! I realized the mushrooms had something to do with this wild overdose... but of course it was too late. I managed to call 911 and ask for help. I also called a friend of mine and told him to harvest the rest of those 'shrooms and bring 'em to my place for processing."

Botanists are attempting to identify the species of Mushrooms eaten and harvested. "My guess is these fungus are of Martian origin. When I was abducted last time by aliens, between internal probe experiments they let me eat some!", opined an expert in extra-terrestrial fungus.

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI-NOT-SETI Bored of directors, was confused. "I'm often confused, but this latest expedition fiasco beats them all for confusion! Who on that grassy knoll took that photo of Divot being terrified by buzzing Bigfoots? Blinng was out for the count. So who took that photo, eh? I think there is a third person involved! Not that I'm paranoid, but this looks like a conspiracy and both Mars and the CIA have a lot to answer for, again!"

New Sasquatch Sightings in Panamá City! ¡Nuevo avistamiento de Sasquatch en la ciudad de Panamá!

2026-03-06T17:44:00.008-06:00

Mysterious Ravenous Bigfoot Disrupts Dizzy Diners at Iconic Greek Restaurant in Panamá!

Yet another unwelcome Bigfoot incident has hit Panamá City, Panamá, and the mangy fur is flying.

Wild Animal Planet scene at the iconic Parrillada Jimmy Restaurant in the San Francisco district of Panamá City.

Jimmy's Restaurant was packed with ravenous diners as Carnaval Week was ramping up. That night, however, initially worried whispers from patrons near the windows became shouts and alarms as a feral Sasquatch loitered outside, sniffing intently, smacking it's lips, and looking madly at the dishes being served. "That gringo monkey, he really like the aromas coming from the restaurant. We didn't know if it was going to charge in and gobble up all the dinners (not diners) and small yappy service dogs caught-up in the feeding frenzy. I had to order more double-shot sangrias to steady my nerves!", exclaimed one regular patron.

The Sasquatch was only satisfied once the staff began throwing old fried plantain, yucca, and left-over meat and fish cuts into the parking lot as a bribe to stay out.

Thanks to fast action by restaurant kitchen-staff and management, discarded food and table scraps were thrown to the hungry beast. Yet after gorging upon these left-overs, the monster wanted more. Only when a medium-rare gourmet "Jimmy Steak" with inserted garlic cloves was thrown to the animal did the hairy beast slink back into the night. It's suspected the stuffed Bigfoot took a long siesta, and then headed towards the big Fish Market on the other side of town. Police are on the look-out and getting close. "But not too close, we're not stupid! Beside, it's Carnaval now. He'll easily slip into the party crowds until he does something offensive and Sasquatchy?"

Easily one of the best steaks in Panama, "The Jimmy" garlic cloves-embedded gourmet steak was sacrificed in order to satiate the savage Bigfoot. "An incredible waste of a great steak.", sadly sniffed one shocked patron.

Gratuitous unpaid Endorsement of Parrillada Jimmy Restaurant in Panamá City. Excellent food. Open since 1966, a city icon. The "Jimmy Steak" with savory sauces and tasty Panamanian side dishes is fantastic. If you're ever in Panamá City, try it out!

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute bored of directors, was nearly comatose. "Yes, I was utterly comatose after eating an excellent dinner at Jimmy's. I still dream about that steak. But drat it all, I never saw the nasty Bigfoot! This rare tropical Sasquatch sighting gives me an good idea, sometimes I have them. We'll set up barbecue traps all over suspected Bigfoot areas. We'll put garlic clove infused marinated Filet Mignon steaks on the grill, drink icy artisanal beers, and have our cameras ready. Heck even if a Bigfoot doesn't appear, we'll still get a food coma!"

Bigfoot Sighting at No-Hands Bridge!

2026-02-23T20:33:00.002-06:00

Auburn California Astounded! Sasquatch Sighted at No-Hands Bridge!

It was "all hands on deck" for the Auburn California Animal Control Department as multiple Bigfoot reports from shaken and disgusted hikers flooded the 911 emergency phone line. "We wuz overwhelmed by the sheer number of calls from these back-packing types. You'd think they wanted to disconnect from civilization and not carry a cel phone but no... they called and kept calling as long as the mangy ape was in the area!", mumbled an overworked City Dog-catcher turned part-time Bigfoot Hunter.

Sasquatch caught on camera by horrified hiker!

Several Day-Hikers were able to take photos of the beast. "It was evil, elusive, and wily!" exclaimed one semi-nature stroller. "It was there one second then gone the next. Birds and coyotes in the area went real quiet. Squirrels were suddenly alert and alarmed. They are mortal enemies of Bigfoots. Only the beast's odor and an ever-present swarm of flies nearby gave any indication it was near!"

The sneaky Bigfoot caught hiding behind a rock.

An amazingly coincidental eye-witness was Ms. Kikki Dumpster, an intrepid member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute bored of directors for the study of Cryptozoology. "Yes, it's unbelievable that I was able to actually see this mythical ape-man of the forest, garbage dumps, and fast-food joints. I think the Bigfoot was actually trying to play hide-and-go-seek, but like a dog it thought that if IT couldn't see YOU, then YOU couldn't see IT. They're not very smart, these Sasquatches."

The Sasquatch Beast lurking about, looking for something to lurk.

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-for-Life of the Institute, was jealous. "I'm jealous. I've spent my entire Cryptozoological Career looking for a real live Bigfoot and haven't spotted one yet! So many close calls! Drat it all! Beginners luck I say! Beginners luck! Not fair!". At that point Blinng calmed down, took a deep breath and a shot of cheap whisky, and returned to preparing an important Bigfoot presentation he will give at a fun & wild, er somber & prestigious Sasquatch Conference in Cancun Mexico.

Erk Holohead, a member of the Bored of Directors, was speculative. "Kikki had beginner's luck for sure. Now, bringing in real Sasquatch DNA or fecal matter... that would be impressive! Speaking of speculation... I've been speculating our Institute's orphan-and-widow funds on Crypto-Currencies. Buy high, sell low! It's always worked before. If these investments go south, I'll play hide-and-go-seek with the IRS and SEC. Been there, done that. Pesky extradition treaties only work in some Latin American hide-aways. My Spanish is pretty good nowadays!"

Bigfoot Sighted at Henry Coe State Park!

2026-02-15T16:00:00.007-06:00

Hikers Aghast as Sasquatch Crosses Trail at Henry Coe State Park! Joggers not bothered!

Boy Scout Tenderfoots on a Bataan Death March, Crunchy Granola Hikers, Fanatical Ultra-Marathoners, Trendy Designer Joggers and Seriously Lost Tourists were all astounded to see a real-life Bigfoot scamper across their paths at Henry Coe State Park this weekend. "I was at the park to hunt for rare quartz deposits. Instead I found rare and disgusting fresh Sasquatch deposits!", sighed a disappointed prospector.

Fleeting glimpse of the Sasquatch. The beast headed towards higher ground.

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-For-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute for Cryptology and anything else which can make a quick buck-or-two without too much work, was unfazed. "I'm not phased! I'm phased-out but not phased! This sighting is concrete proof that Bigfoots roam the Santa Clara Valley and the surrounding mountains. Steve Joobs was likely a Bigfoot. Steve Wozzzniak is definitely a Bigfoot, in my expert opinion. Space Alien, er, Mark Snickerberrrgh was a Bigfoot. Heck, all my opinions are expert, just ask me! I'll pay $3,000 in US Dollars cash for any fresh Bigfoot deposits. Don't try to fool me, I know what bear poop looks like, OK!?"

Erk Holohead, a founding member of the bored of directors and in charge of various get-rich-quick schemes for the Institute, was confusingly indifferent about the recent sighting. "This Sasquatch spotting was remarkable, in an indifferent sort of way? Henry Coe State Park is nothing but trauma and torture. I remember my first Tenderfoot brat Boy Scout back-packing trip was in this accursed park. I learned about schlepping heavy back-packs, what a 6-mile mountain hike with a 50 pound backpack really felt like, nasty foot blisters, questionable chlorine-pellet potable water, gourmet but crunchy freeze-dried meatballs-and-pasta, "Swiss Piss", fire-baked but severely under-cooked potatoes, epic capture-the-flag-wars, and heroically futile snipe-hunts. During that ordeal I never once saw a Sasquatch! What I did see were mirages and hallucinations of juicy cheese-burgers with aromatic french-fries & catsup, but never once saw a Bigfoot. If we'd have seen a Bigfoot he would have been barbecued instantly."

YETI NOT SETI Launches Conspiracy Protection Research Project!

2026-02-09T12:15:00.002-06:00

Foiled Again! Brave YETI NOT SETI Institute Bored Members participate in Risky Brain-Wave Monitoring Blockage Project!

Fortified with shots of cheap cognac and bargain basement rum during an annual meeting in wary Yuba City, California, the YETI NOT SETI Bored of Directors decided by acclamation to launch an exciting research project to determine if Tin-foil Helmets protect humans from top secret government and space-alien brainwave monitoring spy projects. It is hoped that amongst the many special things learned during the experiment, this knowledge will also protect wearers from hi-tech bodily-insertion-probes of all kinds.

Ancient Alien theories suggest Sasquatches, who looked like Vincent Price with mangy hair, interacted with lost extraterrestrial beings thousands of years ago.

This amazingly simple idea was sparked after Ricard Scheister discovered ancient make-your-own-conspiracies kits at an Area 51 garage sale and eagerly shared them with the team. "This is the research tool we needed!", exclaimed Scheister, "If the NSA and the King of Spain are reading our brainwaves, we hope these helmets will stop them. Then maybe we'll finally find some Bigfoot DNA and other precious bodily fluids!"

Erk Holohead in protective tin-foil head-gear, holding the Institute's precious build-a-conspiracy theory toolkit. "After using this research kit a few times, I now always wear my tin-foil hat." whispered Erk, "Just in case 'THEY' are listening. 'THEY' are. Shhhh!"

Ricard Scheister, AKA "The Invisible Man", showcasing his patented full head protective foil-helmet. "This new model works great! While I tend to bump into things and scare small children and pesky dogs, it's a small price to pay to protect my brain-waves from 'THEM'!"

Kikki Durham exhibits multiple paranoia regarding amazing but true conspiracies. "Yep, I've got them all: Bigfoots, Chemtrails, Targeted EMP Attacks from Power Lines... and Toaster Oven behaviour in general. Don't Laugh! You'll see! You'll see when the AI apocalypse arrives and YOUR toaster oven comes after you! Fools!"

Not only is Divot Looney a Sasquatch risk taker, he exhibits little common sense in other key areas related to personal safety. "I intentionally built my tin-foil hat with a heightened hi-gain antennae, to better monitor attempts from 'THEM' to turn my brain to mush. It's working. My brain is feeling quite mushy now!"

Institute Director-For-Life, Karl Blinng, is ready for anything. "It is nice to know the FBI, CIA, KGB, MI6, NASA, and many other organizations can no longer monitor what I'm thinking. The tin-foil hat is working so well I can no longer hear myself think. I hear other voices instead!"

Brucillus Hail sports an innovative Foil Hat as a secondary level experiment. "Lab Safety is for Whimps! Not only is this innovative tin-foil hat better at stopping unwanted brain-wave monitoring from 'THEM', it acts as a unique sun and rain protection device. I think I'll call it a "HAT". Wait... who put that thought in my brain?!

Token Female Added to the Institute's Bored of Directors!

2026-02-06T15:45:00.004-06:00

Woman admitted to the YETI NOT SETI Institute's Bored of Directors!

In major news today, the Institute's Board of Directors has voted 27 to 15 to allow the illustrious Ms. Kikki Dumpster to join the Board. Once her check clears. Kikki is the first Female in the history of the Institution to be a voting member of the Bored.

Learn more at: https://yeti-not-seti-institute.blogspot.com/2026/02/news-female-joins-yeti-not-seti.html

Ms. Dumpster's joyful reaction upon learning she has been nominated and accepted to the Institute's Bored of Directors.

Foggy Bigfoot NOIR Crime Wave in NoCal!

2026-01-04T10:30:00.001-06:00

Hairy Bigfoot Gang Marauding in Northern California! Police "Powerless"! Batman "Missing"! Something's "Fishy"?

In what looks to be a shaky but coordinated crime spree, a nasty gang of unhygienic Sasquatches has been stealing frozen cod liver oil and freshly rancid fish from hotels, marinas, and terrified fisherman. "These apish criminals are mere amateurs in the annals of crime.", stated a famous private detective based in San Francisco, "But what they lack in intelligence they make up for in moronic enthusiasm. They are smelly, dumb, and dangerous!"

Bigfoot Gang caught on security camera casing an overpriced Vacations Ruined By Owner Cabin hiding near the Russian River.

Reports of overturned garbage cans, ransacked potato chip bags, and enormous piles of pungent simian fecal matter have overwhelmed the local constabulary in Guerneville. "Oh sure, we get your normal local crazies saying they've seen a Sasquatch here, but we've never had to deal with actual Bigfoots! Our attorney general says they are a protected species, so our options are limited. We must try to talk to these beasts and convince them to move on the next county. Always a good strategy, normally. But have you ever tried talking to a Bigfoot?", said a harassed Sheriff's Deputy.

Suspected Sasquatch gang member spotted shaking down a marina on the Sacramento River Delta. Multiple thefts of 2-day old fish and organic fried chips were reported.

The Bigfoot crime wave has hit normally soggy Marinas on the Delta. "They came in the fog", said one incurable fisherman, "They shook me down! I had to give them all the fish I caught plus my precious bags of organic high-fat briny-fried potato chips. Boy was I mad, but there was nothing I could do. These Sasquatches are a protected species. My trusty .45 I always carry for deep-water fishing trips was useless. Hey, don't laugh! A .45 shot at point-blank range into the water always helps me reach my fish limit for the day! Fishing pole not needed! You gotta bring a net though. Yeah, bring the net."

Security Camera captures Bigfoot Gang Member lurking around a Pirates Lair.

Authorities are closing in on the gang. A questionable Marina known as a Pirates Lair has been associated with multiple reports of Bigfoot sightings. "Say, we might have something there!", explained a retired local police chief, "Time to send out the Bat Signal!". He is quite retired, at this point.

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute located in fishy Yuba City, California, had a comment on the Bigfoot Crime Wave of the Century. "These beasts are soooooo DUMB! They should be robbing banks or something. At least break into a potato chip factory and gorge themselves senseless. Morons!"

Erk Holohead, the Institute's propaganda and revenue director, had an idea. "Yeah... I've got an idea... yeah. This time it's a good one! We put on monkey suits, see? Then we go for the BIG money and rob banks, casinos, and museums, see? Yeah... the coppers will never figure it out. They'll blame the Bigfoot ape-boys. Dis'll be a lot more fun than scamming widows and orphans!"

Bigfoot Spotted in Catskills and New Joisey! Where's Jimmy?

2025-11-11T06:04:00.000-06:00

Novel New York and New Jersey Sasquatch Sightings! Another hairy-raising reason to leave NYC?

The Catskills and Northern New Jersey were the scene of wonky wildness Bigfoot action and needless speculation as multiple sightings were made in formerly scenic areas of both states. State and local officials are pleading with the tax-paying natives to remain calm and NOT move to Florida or Connecticut. However, some state officials in New Joisey ain't talkin', no-how.

"Where's Jimmy? I know he's around here, somewhere."

The New Jersey Botanical Gardens was the scene of multiple Bigfoot sightings, scaring visitors green, horrifying horticulturalists, gobsmacking gardenias. Estimated damage to the Botanical Garden's flora exceeds $300,000 due to toxic bodily waste functions unleashed by the Sasquatch. "The ape man looked intense, like he was looking for someone. I wouldn't want to be around when he finds 'em! I bet he's another one of them kooks who thinks Jimmy Hoffa was used for fertilizer around here. Naaaaa, that ain't it. Guess again, punk!"

The Beast caught on security camera at the Botanical Gardens.

The Catskills in New York State were not spared a Bigfoot scare. Authorities really don't know why the simian bothered to go there, but speculate it was attracted by multiple breweries in the region. "Bigfoots like rancid fried foods and stale beer", stated a local wildlife expert.

Catskill Sasquatch Surveying His Domain.

The beast managed to frighten tourists visiting a local waterfall and pool before they headed onto a stale beer brewery tour. "That monkey-man decided to take a bath in the pool! He smelled a 1,000 times worse than wet dog. We was stuck against the cliff for an hour before that hairy-nut-job waltzed away", exclaimed a thirsty visitor. An emergency environmental clean-up team is urgently working on the area, and hope to reopen the pool and falls in 2029. This is the State of New York, after all.

Wash and Wear? Fleas Beware!

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-For-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute located in musty Yuba City, California, pontificated on the latest Sasquatch sighting. "As I pontificate, I can't help but admire the sound of my own voice. Ahhh, wait a minute, wrong press announcement. Ah, here it is, stuck in my left ear. Yes. OK! We at the institute are shocked at the recent sightings in New York and New Jersey. Shocked, I say! What I want to know is just where are all these breweries in the Catskills? More importantly, where are all the moonshine stills?"

Sasquatch Spotted in Amish Country!

2025-09-14T14:48:00.004-05:00

Local Amish and Noisy Tourists Bothered by Bigfoot Sighting in Pennsylvania Dutch Country!

Lancaster County Pennsylvania is well known for its Amish folk, intrusive tourists, and the world's largest buffet - - the Shady Character Smorgasbord. What it hasn't been known here are obnoxious smelly Bigfoots, but that happy fact is rapidly changing for the worst.

The Simian was caught on camera trying to board a tourist bus headed towards a large all-you-can-eat buffet. It had no ticket and was refused entry.

Throughout the Pennsylvania Dutch Country, reports of animals acting strangely were common. "Horses, goats, cows, dogs, cats, squirrels and gerbils have a special aversion to the smell of Sasquatches, you know", an Amish farmer pontificated, "However, the pigs seemed to enjoy the company".

Bigfoot Buggy Thief!

Police stated that several horse buggies were stolen by the adventurous Apeman, but he didn't get far. "Them horses weren't going to pull that mangy beast if they could help it!", said an officer, "That monkey man had to abandon ship and hoof it to the forests to avoid detection. He had an arm load of suspicious looking old scrabble with him. My guess is that his stomach can handle it!"

Dr. Karl Blinng, President For Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute located in the heavily Deitsche town of Yuba City, California, had an opinion on this event. "I'm opinionated. My opinions carry great weight in the Sasquatch Research Community. Just ask me! Anyway, these sighting in Amish Country are remarkable. Also remarkable is that I haven't tried fresh Scrapple yet!"

New Bigfoot Sightings in the Redwoods! Get High and Space Out?

2025-08-26T16:18:00.008-05:00

Sasquatches Spotted in California Redwoods! Antique Hippies and Evasive Marijuana Farmers Stoked Up!

Incredible Bigfoot Sightings have started piling up around Humboldt Redwoods State Park like so much, er, cork-wood. Concerned locals not connected to bigfoot tourist business in the region are starting to, like, FREAK OUT, man!

A hairy hiker caught this hairy Bigfoot scampering across the Redwood Forest. "The beast was either hunting lunch or was on a fun run!", exclaimed the amazed day-tripper.

Bigfoot Pack scouring the Humboldt area?

Aromatic physical evidence in the form of scattered dung heaps is rapidly piling up on the forest floor. "Yep, it looks like a gang of these rascally bigfoots are scouring the area - - looking for old human food, unhealthy snacks, and cannabis plants!", surmised a perturbed park ranger. "It's rare to see this hominid group behavior in the wild, but then again anything about a Sasquatch is rare!"

Sasquatch Gang captured on remote forest camera before shutting down! The camera was reportedly disabled by copious amounts of Bigfoot urine.

Local Bigfoot Tourism Jumps:

The recent Bigfoot sightings have sparked a rebound in the regional Sasquatch Tourism Industry. "Hey this Bigfoot scam, er business, is a lot better than selling pork rinds and cheap beer!"

Bigfoot "Odeur de Cheveux grass" sales up 75% at certain select quality Sasquatch theme convenience stores. Why this is happening, and who is buying them, is a mystery we don't want to solve.

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the pesky, make that persistent, YETI-NOT-SETI Institute issued a major press release from his Yuba City headquarters. "Hey folks, don't be fooled. Those bigfoots spotted running around the Redwoods are real! I am raging with anger at the Bigfoot Convenience Store industry, however. They refused to sell heroically posed 1/14 scale statues of ME in their stores. What idiots! These imported statues are made of the finest virginal resin plastics, lovingly sprayed with gold glitter for a stunning impact. My name is glorified on the pedestal. Every home needs one!"

Erk Holohead, COO, CFO, CMO, O-NO, and keeping a low profile to comply with a recent IRA audit, announced plans to sell the glorious leader statues directly to an adoring public. "Yeah. Well. Right. So... we have around 10,000 of these amazing statues stuffed in boxes in my garage. We're going to announce a special 3-for-1 sale soon. Perhaps a 10-to-1 sale. Credit Cards, Debit Cards, and Cash are accepted as payment... especially Venezuelan Bolivares."