Bill Cammack » DatingGenius

Wingman Responsibilities [Hunters, Part 01]

Bill Cammack — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 13:47:14 +0000

One of the reasons I really enjoyed MTV’s “Jersey Shore” is that they finally showed the lifestyle of what I call “Hunters”. Pauly & Mike were hunters, at least at the time that show was taped. They were down for the game. Fresh (new) chicks every night. They had a couple of repeat chicks, but for the most part, they were struggling to see what they could do every day and that’s what hunting’s all about.

Hunting isn’t for everybody. A lot of guys are looking to land the best chick they can get and retire. That’s what Ronnie did. He definitely COULD have hunted if he wanted to, but he didn’t want to. :D He sold out for the guaranteed daily lay with a chick that floated his boat and there’s nothing wrong with THAT! :D ‘Matter of fact, it looked like Mike was hating himself for having his hands on Sammi first and blowing it by pulling more random chicks to hop in the hot tub and make out. Had he realized his error earlier, it might have been “The Situation” that sold out and Ronnie & Pauly hunting.

Vinny didn’t do much of anything extraordinary. He pulled this old chick that his landlord/boss had been trying to kick it to and he pulled Mike’s sister after Mike HELPED VINNY by introducing them. Throughout the show, Vinny was the balance for the guys, bringing the “nice guy” and “voice of reason” vibe to the group.

Distract The DUFF

One of the best parts of the show was when Pauly & Mike are standing outside a club figuring out their prospects for the evening. They had been in it to win it but didn’t come up with anything satisfying to both of them, so Pauly agreed to take one for the team and assist Mike in getting on with this chick he liked.

Pauly’s job was to distract the DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend), which they referred to as a “Grenade”. The idea is basically that the chick was a grenade someone threw and Pauly was willing to fall on it to save Mike. hahaha oh man. :D

In case you’re not aware of what Mike needed saving from, it’s called CockBlocking. It’s when someone sees that you’re about to get laid or whatever and deliberately messes up your action. If Pauly hadn’t gone with Mike to invite the two girls back to the crib, Mike wouldn’t have been able to extract the one girl by herself = no sex. By Pauly talking to the DUFF, which he said ahead of time that he wasn’t interested in messing with AT ALL, it gave her HOPE that she might hook up with a guy she liked. That’s really all you need to extract girls from situations.. Give them all HOPE that they’re all going to have a good time.

Without that hope, she’s going to hate. She’s going to hate on Mike for trying to get laid and she’s going to hate on her girlfriend for being more attractive than she is and always getting the offers & attention. It’s in her best interest to destroy Mike’s rap, which means she’s a grenade.

If you’re going to help your boy out and distract the extra chick, it’s your boy’s job to make it ******* SNAPPY and get on as soon as possible. He should know that you would rather be watching television, playing foosball, drunk-dialing some chick you actually want to kick it with or just plain BEING ASLEEP rather than wasting time distracting the DUFF, so he should be courteous and hurry the **** up with makin’ it happen.

That’s not what Mike did. Apparently, he was too drunk to recognize the situation and he was playing it as if Pauly had a girl he was trying to hook up with, which would have meant they had all night to get on. Meanwhile, the chick got on Pauly’s nerves to the point where he just flat-left and the grenade ended up blowing up Mike’s rap and extracting her girlfriend when Mike already had her in bed. :D *BOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM*!!! HAHAHA :D

Wingman Courtesy

Pauly was completely within his rights to leave Mike with both chicks. Mike was at fault for having a slow-ass rap. I know how it feels to be on wingman/DUFF duty and time moves SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOWLY. I mean it takes FOR-EV-VER for your boy to finish up and hit the bathroom so you can finally BOUNCE (assuming you don’t live there). In the meantime, you’re at your wits’ END trying to keep this chick amused without tipping your hand that you’re trying to keep her amused. You have to act interested in her or else she’s going to figure out what’s going on and barge in while your boy’s tagging up and ruin the entire experience for him.

I didn’t mind wasting my time because my boy was already hooking up. I was just making sure he didn’t get interrupted. Mike took so long to get to the nitty-gritty that Pauly broke out before Mike even CONSIDERED extracting his chick to a private room. If that had been how I was feeling, I would have told my boy to use it or lose it and he would have had to do two-minute-drill to get his girl alone or I would have been out.

Other than that.. Just like they advised in “Top Gun”, Never Leave Your Wingman. If you can’t get on, at least you can get the assist. Of course, sudden opportunities sometimes arise where you’re getting attention from a chick you actually want, in which case you should inform your boy that you’re going to peel off to see about the other chick and he’s going to have to deal with the grenade until you get back… IF you get back! ;)

Team Selection

Another important issue is that you have to be somewhat matched up with your wingman. By that, I mean that y’all have to have approximately the same vibe, even if one of you is superior to the other one in a bunch of stuff.

Like, let’s say it would have been Mike and Vinny instead of Mike and Pauly… Mike might not have gotten to extract his chick at all because the DUFF might not have considered Vinny her type and she would have vetoed the action from the giddyap.

Unfortunately, types change from venue to venue. A dude might make an excellent wingman in a ghetto bar and be an absolute liability in a wine bar. You have to know where you’re going when you’re assembling your team. For Seaside Heights, Ronnie, Pauly & Mike could have cleaned up.. Vinny, not so much.

Also, even if your boy has the look, he has to have the right demeanor. You really can’t afford to have your props dragged down into oblivion because your boy is all thirsty and drooling over chicks. When I’m hunting, I like to play the wall and scope out the action. You have to figure out which chicks are kickin’ it with or might have arrived with which guys, which chicks are crowded together in a defensive huddle, which guys are scheming on chicks they haven’t met yet, etc.

You won’t see me on the dance floor because I didn’t come to the party to dance with chicks. That’s a waste of my time. That’s the cheap win. If they ask *ME*, then yeah, I’ll dance with them, but you’re not gonna see me hovering around the dance floor like a vulture trying to rub up on some chick’s ass. You look thirsty and cheap and the chicks figure you for a “mark”, meaning some Herb they can get free drinks off of because you’re hoping to land a number or extraction from them at the end of the evening. I’ll be right on the side, checking my email, texts, foursquare & gowalla for whatever other action’s going on in case this place is lame.

The problem is.. If your boy’s not on the same vibe, it really doesn’t matter how cool you are. He’s going to hustle on over to the chicks and start playing himself and buying drinks and then come back over to you, making you look needy and thirsty right along with him because birds of a feather flock together… Next thing you know, you have chicks tryin’na bum drinks offa you that you’ve never spoken to before in life! :D

Communication

If you’re gonna work with a guy in pulling chicks, communication is entirely and absolutely essential. You need to be able to signal important information like “Go away”, “Go away and take that chick with you”, “Come get this extra chick off of me”, “Come here”, “Call me away from these chicks”, “This isn’t working”, “Switch girls”, “Check out those chicks over there”, “Did you see her ass??? :O”, “Got one! :D” and “Let’s get out of here” without the chicks noticing what’s going on.

You normally want to do this with eye contact and hand gestures that mean something to you and your wingman but don’t mean anything to anyone else. At this point, you can also use texting, except that a guy looks rude checking and sending texts while he’s having a conversation with a gal.

If you don’t have your communication game tight, expect NOTHING from a guy you’re hanging out with as far as helping you rap to chicks. Nothing. There’s no reason he should know what you’re trying to do or what you want HIM to do if you don’t explicitly inform him.

Follow The Leader

You also both have to have equal status as far as vetoing situations. When two guys are hanging out, one guy doesn’t become the wingman until the other guy gets a rap. If your boy kicks it to a chick and you just can’t see yourself falling on the particular grenade she’s with, pull him to the side and let him know that he has about five minutes to get some kind of contact information for this chick because you’re about to break North, regardless. There’s no reason why you should waste your evening because your boy wasn’t courteous enough to kick it to a chick that had good-looking friends for you.

Unfortunately, this is also a function of Team Selection. If you don’t have a properly-balanced team, you end up with leaders and followers instead of a squad of relative equals. In that case, you don’t want to follow the followers and you don’t want the followers attempting to lead the leaders. Everybody needs to play their position so the night runs as smoothly as possible.

The optimum situation is that both sets of guys & gals that got paired up are into each other and everybody’s looking forward to a good evening. If one of the fellaz has to take as short, so be it. Your boy *SHOULD* look out for you next time, actually even attempting to HELP YOU pull the hotter chick because he owes you from last time. However, if worse comes to worse, Like Clint Eastwood said, “A Man’s Gotsta Know His Limitations!” :D

Target Assessment (Dating)

Bill Cammack — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 12:28:50 +0000

A lot of guys make the game harder on themselves because they never developed any skills at Target Assessment.

Wherever you are is a location. That location has several features. It will also have a static or changing amount of women in it.

If you’re not aware of your surroundings, you’re going to waste a lot of energy kickin’ it to chicks that aren’t interested or aren’t available. You’re also going to waste a lot of time that would be better spent finding a new spot to hunt in.

Maybe you like going to a lounge because there are a lot of girls there. Where are they, really? They’re sitting on couches and they never get up. The waitress brings them their drinks and they sit there the whole time commiserating with each other and never getting up to mingle and meet guys. The numbers are there, but not the opportunity. Maybe you’d be better off in a dive bar that doesn’t HAVE any booths where the chicks have to be standing around with the general population so you can make your way over and see what you can do.

Maybe you’re in a restaurant with a bar and you and your boys have foolishly accepted a table FAR AWAY from the flow of chicks. Now, if you see something you like, you have to get up and obviously walk over as the chick and her friends LITERALLY see you coming. :/ Maybe you should have all sat at the bar and ordered food there so you could be in the mix when the gals arrived.

Maybe you went to a spot where you’re not the type of guy that’s in demand there. Save yourself the trouble and find somewhere that women go to look for someone “of your type”. Unfortunately, even if a chick wants to talk to you, she might skip it so that she doesn’t look out of sync with the regulars.

Maybe you went to a spot where mostly guys go (like a cigar bar) and there’s some horrible ratio like one chick for every nine guys. Go find a spot that has music or food or karaoke or something that chicks like to do and put yourself automatically in the minority instead of the majority.

Back-Seat Driving

I started thinking about this because I normally make my own plans. Except for in rare cases, my plans always involve at least one female that I’m bringing with me. I made a plan to hang out with the fellaz the other day, so I had the rare experience of not being able to regulate where I was and how long I was there.

That didn’t matter at first, because my main point was catching up with my friends and having a bunch of laughs, haha which we most certainly DID!!! :D Eventually, since we were making so much noise, as usual, I became aware that chicks were checkin’ us out, not necessarily because they wanted to rap to us, it’s just that we had their attention.

At that time, we happened to be in PERFECT position for that particular establishment. We had our drinks. We had Real Estate (table, chairs). We were standing right along the flow where the chicks had to exit & enter the place. We were right near the bar for refills as well as a reason for chicks to have to place themselves near us. We couldn’t have picked a better spot for the way that place was laid out.

The only potential issue was that the lighting was relatively bright, which is good for long-distance game, since the chicks can see you from across the room, but it’s bad because chicks are aware that if they’re rapping to you, EEEEEVERYBODY’S going to see it, so they’re less likely to come over than if the lights had been dim.

Another ‘problem’ was that there was a certain type of chick that was going to show up there. That’s fantastic if that’s what you’re into and horrible if they’re not your type. I already knew this when we made the plan to meet up there and I wasn’t worried about it since I was going entirely to catch up with my homeboys. I’m just mentioning it for general tactical considerations. Like, if you don’t want to meet rich, old chicks don’t hang out at the bar in the Waldorf Astoria. If you don’t want to meet women with jobs, don’t hang out for happy hour in the financial district.

The next thing that happened was what really prompted me to write this. Being that we already had position, the best tactical move (had the plan of the evening been to hang out with chicks, which it wasn’t) would have been to move to a BETTER location or stay where we were. Unfortunately, we had reason to move from where we were to a place where I knew there were going to be WAY fewer chicks, a much, much worse ratio and very expensive drinks if there were drinks at all.

The first two are obvious problems. You don’t want the drinks to be expensive because chicks don’t like to spend money on drinks. They like $6 drinks and $600 boots. Go figure. \o/

If the drinks are expensive, the chicks are going to be nursing them so they can save their money for Manolo Blahniks. This means that they won’t already be drunk by the time you show up. This is always a drag and a waste of time. :D You’re way better off in a dive bar with cheap alcohol or a spot that’s having some kind of 2-for-1 deal or ladies’ night specials or something.

So we motivate to the next spot and just like I thought, it’s *DEAD*. Something like an 11-1 ratio, I may or may not have seen two people with a drink in their hands. Horrific. I immediately hopped on my location-based apps & sites to see where I could jump off to in case I wanted to attempt to salvage the evening. Fortunately, our stay in this location was unexpectedly short due to technical difficulties experienced by the person whose fault it was we went to that place to begin with. If they would have stayed there, I would have left because the sheer boredom of lack of targets was putting me to sleep. I would rather have been on the subway than in that dead-ass spot. :)

The next place we went to was decent as far as population but horrible as far as access. The bar was small and there was no mingle area defined near it. You were either sitting at the bar or you weren’t involved with the bar area. Everyone else was sitting at restaurant tables, completely isolated from each other. Tactical Snafu. The bathroom was in the other direction from the bar, so we couldn’t even benefit from that flow. At least everyone had drinks available, so that was better, the numbers were better, the ratio was better and the opportunity was infinitely better.

Essential Elements

Actually, now that I think about it, sound is really important as well. If you go to a place where the music’s too loud, you won’t be able to comfortably talk to a chick. Same thing if the crowd noise is too loud. OTOH, if you’re going to be loud with your boys, you don’t want to go to a spot that’s too quiet or you’ll look out of place instead of energetic & interesting.

You definitely want a decent amount of flow. You don’t want to go to a place where chicks show up and just stay and stay and stay and stay and stay. You want them to LEAVE so more chicks can take their place and you never have to leave your Real Estate but you get to throw your hat in the ring lots of times. At the same time, you don’t want to be in a spot where there’s nothing BUT flow, like near the front door for instance as you try to kick it to chicks entering and exiting.

Don’t be greedy. Sometimes, it’s better not to get the best chick in a group. If she’s sweating your boy, it might be better for you to facilitate HIS rap so you have access to all the rest of her friends while they wait for her to finish kickin’ it. Also, there’s usually a leader of each pack. If you can determine which one that is (she’s the most charismatic or she’s the one driving, etc), you can corral the entire herd just by bagging the lead chick. Don’t be selfish, keep your boys’ interests in mind while you’re trying to meet chicks and they’ll appreciate it and return the favor when they can.

Having said that.. You also need to recognize that there’s a limit to what you can do and/or SHOULD DO for your boys, haha. :) You don’t want to ruin your own cred with the chicks by over-hyping dudes past their actual potential. If you know your boy’s a player and you tell a chick he’s interested in a relationship so he can get some, it’s gonna be YOU that takes the short when she’s disappointed, not HIM! He’s doing what he always does. You’re putting your own rep in jeopardy by cosigning his behavior. When that chick has a homegirl YOU want to meet, you’re SHORT! :D

Recognize when to bail. I started chatting up this chick one time ’cause she was cute and had a decent body and once I got into conversation with her I realized I wasn’t going to be able to sustain a level of conversation that she felt was cultured and I felt was boring as hell. A couple of jokes about her profession and she ejected herself and I was once again free to get back on track with talking to other chicks. If she’s going to be a waste of your time, bail. Similarly, if you feel like YOU’RE going to be a waste of HER time, bail.

Close Early. If a chick seems to be diggin’ you, the longer you take to get her contact information the more time you’re giving her crabby, no-rap-getting homegirls to cockblock you. By the time they show up with some bogus excuse to pull her away from you, it’s too late to try to close with this other chick all in your business. Remember, you’re there to MEET chicks, not date them on the spot. Let her know how great you are, exchange information, step to the left.

Plan To Fail

Some of my homegirls are more reliable than others. When I make a plan with them the plan is made and I don’t have to worry about them not showing up or being egregiously late. With other chicks, there’s a good percentage chance that they’re going to flake out so I make sure to invite several chicks to the same event, just in case. :)

Similarly, the place you planned to go might have looked great on paper, but it’s wack when you actually get there. I usually have a Plan B and a Plan C in place before I go out so that if I determine that the current spot isn’t going to cut it, I can quickly switch venues with minimal effort, time spent and smartphone battery wasted. :D

Another benefit of planning to fail is that you’re not nervous about your Plan A falling through because you know your night isn’t ruined, regardless. A lot of guys get caught up in trying to force their Plan A to work because it’s all they have for tonight. Regardless of how bleak the prospects are, they never just MOVE to the next bar down the street or hop in a cab to an entirely different area. Then, when *ONE* new chick shows up, you see every guy in the spot swoop down and try to get on….

Prospects are bad? Move. Horrible ratio? Move. No opportunity to chat chicks up? Move. Chicks aren’t your type? Move. You aren’t these particular chicks’ type? Move. A chick you kicked it to previously is here messing up your raps? Move. Target Assessment is absolutely critical if you’d like to spend your time talking to women instead of wondering why you’re not.

Revisionist History

Bill Cammack — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 12:21:34 +0000

What I affectionately refer to as “Revisionist History” may actually be more accurately called Historical Revisionism. There are actually two types, one which has a positive connotation and implies that intelligent people took another look at the data that’s currently available to them and came up with a valid interpretation of that data that differs from what’s been widely accepted about that event up until now. The second type is when people decide they don’t like how the past looks and decide to reinterptet it for their own benefit. The latter is what I want to talk about right now.

Time goes forward… Not BACKWARD. Things happen and then they move from the present into the past. Once they’re in the past, there’s no way for you to affect them, being that nobody’s created a time machine yet. If you tell a story ONE WAY at the time, and then turn around and tell a DIFFERENT STORY later on.. Assuming you had your wits about you when you told the story the first time, you are attempting to revise history. Here’s an example:

Back in the day….. (right, Frank?) I used to hang out with this chick that had a boyfriend and she would lie to him all the time about what she had done or where she had been for the last several hours while she wasn’t answering her phone. I didn’t think anything of this becuase that’s what people do when they’re in a relationship and they don’t want to suffer the consequences of their SO knowing who they really are.. They lie. Fine. I get that.

So this same chick tells me a story one day about where she had been on a particular evening when her boyfriend had been looking for her. The story was that her cell phone had run out of batteries and she had decided to walk home and it took her about an hour. This is what she told me and this is also what she told me she told her boyfriend.

Weeks or months later, her boyfriend does something she doesn’t like and then she tells me that on the night that she told him she had walked home, she was actually hanging out with other guys at a bar and having a good time. The reason this information came up was that NOW she felt vindictive and wanted to mentally feel like she was hurting her boyfriend. I say “mentally feel” because she never told HIM this version of the story. She only told ME so that she could feel like she was being defiant and get it out of her system so that she wouldn’t get dumped by this guy and then feel like a JERK when she got over it and wanted to be with him again….. Which, of course, is exactly what happened. She got over it.

Now.. I couldn’t give a damn what some chick tells her boyfriend. What I *DO* care about is that she decided to lie TO ME about it as well because she wanted sympathy at the time. He had been rather upset that he couldn’t find her and had SCREAMED on her and she was scared that he might dump her so she told me the same story she told him in order for me to assure her that walking home with a non-working phone wasn’t a dumping offense.

When you attempt to revise history, you erode your credibility. There’s no way around this. As long as there are people around who remember what really happened, you’re going to either look like a jerk who’s trying to pull the wool over people’s eyes or you’re going to look like you are currently EMBARRASSED about your past. Being that it’s the year 2009 as I write this and Social Media has been in full effect for quite some time now, there are a. whole. hell. of. a. lot. of. people. that watched your PRESENT in real-time. Whatever you posted at the time, that’s what people remember. There’s no way around THIS EITHER, other than never posting anything to the internet and ‘keeping your business out the street’.

Relationships

Relationships change. I know LOTS of people that used to date each other in ‘06, ‘07, ‘08 and even ‘09 that aren’t dating each other now. That’s not my problem.

Friendships change. I know lots of people that used to be friends and at the time of this writing, they are not. That’s not my problem either.

I have pictures with couples that are no longer couples and friends that are no longer friends. Regardless of how they feel about each other NOW, they don’t get to change MY history, which includes ALL OF US sharing good times together.

Regardless of what you say NOW (and you may very well have perfectly legitimate problems with your former SO or friend), y’all were rather happy with each other at the time and that’s the spirit in which the pictures were posed for, taken and posted. Up until you achieved a problem with the other person, you derived as much pleasure from the pics as I did, if not MORE.

What about The Kid?

Ethically, Morally or however you want to categorize it, I don’t get to have special privileges when it comes to revisionist history simply because it’s my camera. COULD I? Certainly. DO I? No. It’s all in the game. If you’re not going to play it the “right” way, don’t play it at all.

I currently have 1,887 Facebook friends, about 900 of whom I’ve hung out with at some point IRL. This means that every once in a while, someone I’m visually associated with is at least accused of and at most proven to have deviated from the norm.

Let me make this perfectly clear…

I. Will. Not. Adjust. My. History. To. Fit. How. You. Feel. About. The. Present.

If someone that I’ve spent time with falls out of favor with you, that’s YOUR PROBLEM and not mine. I don’t care. I’m not interested. You’re a grown-ass-man or grown-ass-woman so act like it and deal with your own problems.

If you decide that you don’t want to do business with me because I’m friends with someone who’s been accused of doing something stupid or has been PROVEN to have done something stupid, good for you. Between my own freelance work, Tribe Nine Creative, and a company I’m about to go on retainer to, I don’t have any more work-hours to assign to people that *WANT* to work with me, much less people that are concerned about who I hang out with or what it would mean to their company’s image to be associated with me, being that I’ve been visually associated with someone else whose internet presence they don’t like.

In fact, the whole concept is RETARDED because other than for television credits,

my name doesn’t even APPEAR on people’s video projects. The people in my Client List are there because I PUT them there. There are lots of companies I’ve worked for that are NOT listed, such as News Corporation / Fox News. So, if you don’t want to do business with me because of people I socialize with, enjoy that life. :)

Porno Chicks

In an attempt to see how it would feel to be embarrassed to be Facebook Friends with someone, I sent a friends request to this ~~porno chick~~ chick that I HEARD was a porno chick, hehe :) Fortunately, she declined my “friendship”! HAHAHA because I regretted it almost as soon as I pressed “send”. :D Facebook doesn’t have any facility for you to retract friendship requests, so, similar to pregnancy, I knew that once it was in there, there wasn’t much I could do about it.

I wanted to know how I would feel knowing people had some tangible evidence that I had associated myself with a porno chick. Pretty much, that was the only controversial-type person I could think of to add and since I know a few sex-bloggers, I actually have mutual friends with her. It was a weird feeling. I’m not sure it was sustainable. On the one hand, it’s clear that it’s not YOU that’s being a freakazoid and on camera, to boot. On the other hand, being “friends” with this person implies some sort of endorsement of her lifestyle. That shouldn’t be a connection that’s made, but it’s made all the time, whether people mention it transparently or on the back-channel.

I needed to go to this extent because being that I’m an independent person and not a drone, I’m not interested at all in what people do or get involved in that has nothing to do with me. I didn’t have anyone on my current roster of almost two thousand people that I felt like I might be able to say “Oh, that’s just the last straw!.. I can’t believe he/she did that! :O”. Meanwhile, I know chicks that are upset that I call chicks “chicks”. :D I just wanted to see how it felt to be SOOOO interested in someone else’s business that I would elect to terminate my social media contact with them because of something they did or said.. ESPECIALLY something ~~they’ve been doing~~ I was told that they’ve been doing for years.

AAAAAAAAAAND STAY OUT!!! :D

The bottom line is that media has now been removed from the hands of the newspapers and television stations and placed firmly in the hands of common folk. That chick pointing a phone in your direction on the subway is taking a picture or video of you. There are video cameras watching the streets and the sidewalks in front of places of business. People are shooting video with their smartphones or their video cameras or still cameras or even their iPods now. Your best bet, if you don’t want to be involved in the Social Media game is to STAY. OUT. OF. IT. ENTIRELY!

If you’re not the subject, you’re going to end up in the background of someone’s picture or video. It might be someone you know or someone you don’t. You might be tagged in the media and you might not. If you know damned well that you’re not supposed to go to a certain party, DON’T. GO. TO. THAT. PARTY. instead of going and HOPING you don’t get discovered. That ended in 2008.

Even if you don’t show up in images, you’re going to show up in text. Someone’s going to post your name on Twitter or mention that they were hanging out with you on Facebook and then Google’s going to pick up that mention of your name or your handle and you’re gonna get busted.

Even if they don’t type your name onto the net, they’re going to TELL PEOPLE who they hung out with at the party. Even if they don’t post a picture to the net, they’re going to show it to their friends. The only way for you to attempt to regulate your online presence is to hang out with people that don’t post media to the internet.

Same thing goes for relationships. If you think your relationship might EEEEEEEEVER break up and you might feel sour about that, don’t go all over creation in 2010 posing with your current girlfriend or boyfriend. Save yourself the anguish and keep your relationship(s) to yourself, stop announcing them on Facebook, stop making lovey-dovey videos that you’re going to have to tear down from the net as soon as y’all fall out of favor with each other. It’s way easier to deny information that was never published than to try to reel in media that people have been looking at for YEARS already and were privy to anyway because they were standing right there when y’all were very happily showing off your friendship or relationship by posing for pictures together.

That’s OK… My Dog Doesn’t Speak EITHER!

Bill Cammack — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 21:24:09 +0000

Vanity (The Trait, Not The Singer)

WAYYYY back in the day, before I even gave a damn how women’s brains work, I remember becoming extremely fascinated in and amused by a tactic to pull chicks that shouldn’t have worked, but usually did. The concept was basically to shame or embarrass a girl into talking to you. The way it usually worked was:

1) We see a chick coming down the street towards us
2) One guy kicks her some greeting “Hello”, “Hi Beautiful”, “God Bless You, Ma”…
3) Chick doesn’t respond and keeps walking past us
4) Guy that spoke to her calls her CONCEITED
5) Chick stops in her tracks and begins insisting that she’s not conceited
6) Guy goes back to “argue” with her and completes the rap or gets her number

The first time I saw this, I didn’t pay it any mind. I was just like “Wow! O_o That chick was pretty stupid to stop and argue about being assessed by someone that had never seen her before in life and that doesn’t have any relationship to her whatsoever or way of knowing whether she’s conceited or she isn’t”. I figured it was an anomaly and didn’t pay it any more mind until I saw it work OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER….. I was like “This is a JACKPOT! :D .. All you have to do is call a chick conceited and you have a good percentage chance of getting a conversation out of her when she was otherwise going to ignore you! :D”.

Keeping Up Appearances

I never used this style myself because I don’t have to.

A chick has a chance to look at me as we’re approaching each other’s positon on the street or in a party or wherever. She has another chance to look at me if I verbally acknowledge her. Those are her two chances she has to decide whether she wants to talk to me or not.

I’m not going to work any harder than that and I usually don’t even bother speaking since I prefer to communicate via eye contact. If we can’t acknowledge mutual interest by looking in each other’s eyes, I’m way more likely to check for better connections to other chicks than to try to build one that isn’t already there with the current gal.

The other reason I don’t use it is that it’s cheating. It’s unsportsmanlike conduct. :) It’s the proverbial taking of candy from the baby. Once I got into studying women’s mentalities, I understood clearly why this is such an effective tactic…

Women are brainwashed from day 01 to “keep up appearances”. I was hanging out the other day with a homegirl of mine that’s cute as **** and she ends up saying that her luggage got delayed at the airport and that’s why she’s not wearing any makeup….. So I’m sitting there thinking “You’re not wearing any makeup? :D”. I completely and entirely hadn’t noticed. She thinks it’s this big disaster and I think she looks fine, just like every time I’ve ever spent time with her. The makeup industry is one of the most lucrative and successful scams that was ever pulled on women, but that’s a different topic.

Women are programmed to see themselves as presentable or not based on entirely irrelevant factors. They ask questions like “How come he tried to rap to me when I was wearing sweats?” because they see sweatpants and flannel shirts and hoodies and workboots as inherently unsexy by default. If they don’t dress up in clothes that THEY have determined are an attempt to look sexy (miniskirts, high-heeled boots..) or if they haven’t put on makeup or any other number of irrelevant things, they don’t FEEL sexy and project that onto guys, when guys are just like “Check out her ass! :D” and whether it’s covered in sweatpants, jeans or a leather miniskirt makes no difference whatsoever.

Lesser Of The Evils

The reason why “CONCEITED!!! :(” works is that it gives a gal two poor choices. She can either let the statement go and then from now on be concerned that the guy and his 3-4 friends he was with when he called you conceited and you didn’t defend yourself are going to tell everyone they know every time they see you that you’re conceited. Eventually, this is going to get around to a guy she would ACTUALLY like to talk to and ruin her rap. Not a Good Look. The second poor choice, and apparently the lesser of the evils, is to defend yourself against the accusation of being conceited at the expense of having to acknowledge and engage the very guy you were attempting to avoid. This saves your reputation from being slandered endlessly behind your back and might even give you points if the guy decides you’re actually a cool person and THAT rumor goes around instead.

The reason the tactic works as far as getting the rap is that here in NYC, attractive chicks get game kicked to them all day every day, which is one of the reasons I don’t bother speaking to them and adding myself to the pool of commoners that tried to hook up with them. By setting gals up to feel personally misrepresented, there’s a percentage chance that she’s going to stop and address you, which means she has to look at you. Attractive women get “talked to” so many times every day that they don’t actually LOOK at the guy that’s talking to them. By getting her to stop and look at you, you have a REAL chance to pull her, assuming you’ve got it like that.

Most of the time, the guys that kick game to women are sub-par to begin with so it’s really a low-percentage chance that a guy that speaks randomly to a gal is going to be a guy she actually wants to talk to, meet, go on a date with or hook up with. By going the underhanded route of appealing to her vanity, you get her stop walking and focus on you mentally and visually, which is all you wanted in the first place.

Depending on how upset she is and her personality-type, you either hold the line that you greeted her nicely and she ignored your courtesy to her = conceited, or you apologize your way out the back door, which makes her feel good that you apologized AND makes her feel good that she properly and effectively defended herself from a slanderous & inaccurate accusation. What you end up with is the exact same situation as if you had said something to her, she smiled and thanked you and then you pulled her over and started talking to her.

Elementary. *yawn*

Candy from the proverbial baby.

Psychotic Episodes

My favorite experience with this style comes from being around manic-depressive or perhaps bipolar dudes who try to kick it to women. It’s really completely pathetic how quickly their demeanor changes. They see the gal coming and they’re all smiling and friendly: “How are you this evening? :D”, “Hello, Pretty Lady! :D”, “Did it hurt, when you fell out of Heaven? :D”

Then, she starts walking past the guy and he gets desperate to slow her down: “Can’t say ‘Hello’? :/”, “Oh, I see how you are. :/”, “CONCEITED!!! :/”

Then, as soon as she passes the 50-yard-line and he realizes she’s definitely not going to stop or acknowledge him, she gets

“THAT’S OK… MY DOG DOESN’T SPEAK EITHER!!!”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA oh man, to hear this joint *LIVE* and hear the VENOM and see the absolutely DISTURBED look on the guy’s face because he’s really so upset that one girl out of millions in this town didn’t stop and talk to some loser standing around on the street kicking game to every chick that passes by.. It’s just PRICELESS! :D

It’s like “um.. Don’t you see that you just proved her right for not speaking to you by being such an ASS three seconds after you didn’t get what you wanted? :D haha Don’t you see how you’re making it tougher for the rest of us that *SHOULD* be getting raps in the street or in the bars & clubs with your retarded behavior? :D”

On the other side of the coin, women would very often do themselves justice by being courteous to guys and not feeling like y’all are ENTITLED to ****.

Real World Application

I’m the type of person that rolls with “Neutral until proven Guilty”. Not quite “Innocent”, but I’m willing to give people the benefit of the doubt that they’re a cool and worthwhile person until they prove otherwise.

So I’m in the subway and there’s a chick running for the door that I’m standing in and I wedge my boot in the door so it doesn’t close before she gets in, which is obvious because the other side of the door is already closed and my door is still stuck open and she slides through, looks at me and says thank you, I nod at her and say you’re welcome and release the door. That’s a worthwhile interaction and I feel like I’ve done a good deed and I feel goodwill towards the gal I helped to not have to wait until the next train came.

That’s a high percentage of my interactions. Every once in a while, though, the exact same scenario goes down and a chick will slide through the door and walk into the car like as if SHE got HERSELF into the train and either I didn’t have anything to do with it or that she thought I had a butler or doorman’s outfit on and it was my job to assure her entry onto the train. That’s when my opinion of her goes directly south and I’m mentally either calling her a cro-mag or an animal or thinking towards her my beloved “That’s ok… My dog doesn’t speak either! :D” which normally cheers me right up and I stand there laughing internally about how many opportunities in life this chick is going to miss for being such a JERK! :D

“Common” Courtesy

OTOH.. I go to this bar where I know damned well they hire people for looks and not intelligence. I’m waiting for friends to meet me there, so I decide to order something before they show up.

The ditzy male bartender asks me what I want and I request a beer from the tap that I’ve never tried before. He clearly hears me, nods and I step back from the bar so I’m not crowding these three chicks that are sitting together on bar stools chatting right by where I ordered.

I hop on my phone and I’m checking foursquare or texting people or checking my eMail and eventually I realize this idiot’s taking long with my beer.

I look up to see him somewhere socializing at the other end of the bar like everything’s lovely. So now I’m glad he didn’t give me my beer because out of common courtesy, I would have tipped this imbecile and now I can avoid paying him at all. :)

A few minutes later, I’m still on the internet when someone taps me. I look up and it’s one of the chicks that had been sitting at the bar.

She calls my attention to the ditzy bartender, so I lift my head & eyebrow like “What do you want?”. Dude goes “Did I forget to get you your beer?”. haha I’m like “Yeah.. But that’s ok.” and go back to my internetting.

To his credit, the bartender goes “Let me get it for you, on the house (which means “free” to you non-bar-going people). I say “ok, Thanks” and go back to my internetting. Next thing I know, the gal that had originally tapped me to get my attention not only lets me know my beer is there but hands it to me from off the bar. I thanked the bartender and thanked her.

What I was thanking her for was her common courtesy & decency, which isn’t very common in NYC to begin with and even less so on the bar scene. My friends arrived soon afterwards and we got the table I had reserved, but had I remained in that bar area longer, I definitely would have bought her a drink as a sign of appreciation for her way of being. In fact, being that she was there with two other gals, I probably would have elected to offer to buy a round for all three them (assuming the other two were almost done with their current drinks at the time) so as to be properly courteous and look out for her friends as an extension of looking out for her.

Another time, I was (surprisingly, huh? :D) hanging out with a couple of my homegirls at a bar and dropped my phone and lost the top of my protective case. I looked around the bar stools for it but couldn’t see it in the relative dark (plus my beer goggles) so I just chalked it up and planned to buy another case. A gal I hadn’t even noticed that happened to be sitting near us came over and asked me “Is this what you’re looking for?” and handed me the section I was missing. I gave her a hug and thanked her, again for her common courtesy.

The Cycle

The point is that there’s a cycle. Guys press up on girls they want to hook up with. Girls get defensive about that and start ignoring ALL guys. Guys see this standoffish behavior and act like jerks when chicks don’t accept their raps. Girls get even MORE defensive and try to act like guys aren’t even there when they’re standing or siting right next to you. This leads to a standard of chicks acting standoffish, crabby & entitled by default. No reason to excuse themselves if they attempt to push past you to get through a crowd. No reason to thank you if you hold the door for them on the subway or at a department store….

This is why, ladies, you can get a long way with some COMMON COURTESY! :D Just being cool, fun, friendly, engaging, gregarious, nice, decent, or just simply NOT A *JERK* will get you farther with guys than you can possibly imagine. You might not even be the best-looking chick, haha but guys will look for you, contact you and invite you to hang out with them because they enjoy your company and you’re a delight to spend time with.

You might not end up making out at the end of the night, but I guarantee you you’ll have more good times more often than those hawt chicks that nobody wants to be around until it’s time to get laid….. Those chicks that guys merely tolerate because of T&A and will never speak to again once they become has-beens or they get bored of hooking up with them.

Does that mean you should acknowledge every guy on the street that throws you a compliment? Nope! :D .. Does that mean you should defend yourself against accusations of conceit from guys that would have to admit that they don’t know you from EVE if they’re asked how they know you’re conceited? Nope! :D .. It means that in a town with millions of chicks in it, you’re going to need an advantage if you want to get the raps YOU want. O_o That advantage isn’t going to be makeup or T&A because y’all all shop at the *same* stores and there’s always going to be a gal in this town with an ass fatter than yours, so you’re going to have to rely on your PERSONALITY if you want to stand out in the crowd.

Why Chicks Dig “Twilight”

Bill Cammack — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 01:21:27 +0000

So they finally released the movie “Twilight” on cable, so I was able to check it out and see what all the hubbub was about.

Vampire shows have been all the rage recently. HBO has a series called True Blood that’s really popular and pretty much anything dealing with vampires is going to get run these days.

I’ve been wondering for quite a while why chicks have been falling all over themselves over “Twilight”. I figured a vampire movie is a vampire movie is a vampire movie. *yawn*

Having watched it now, I get it completely. The screenplay was very well written to fit the brainwashing of American females if not females all over the world.

I’m not saying the movie was interesting or good or unpredictable, haha.. I’m just saying that I understand why it’s a phenomenon because it hits the points that girls are trained to look for when they fantasize about being involved in a romantic relationship with a guy.

*** SPOILER ALERT *** If you still haven’t seen this movie, which was released over a year ago or you happen to be Keith Bevans, do not read the rest of this post! :D

Bella

Bella is the main character. The movie’s seen through her eyes. This is automatically going to be of interest to females, because most films are seen through guys’ eyes.

She doesn’t live in a big city. She transfers to a new school, which means she starts off with ZERO props. She has no friends. She’s a loner.

She’s cute enough for the sticks, but she’d be nothing to write home about in New York City. This is also endearing to females, because most of them fit into this category.

You don’t want your protagonist to be “too attractive” or else the audience will disconnect. Of course Brad Pitt dumped Jennifer Anniston for Angelina Jolie. That’s what’s supposed to happen, because Angelina > Jennifer. You want the audience to feel like they’re immersed in a story that could actually happen to THEM in THEIR lives.

So Bella’s set up as a character that’s worthy of love but just doesn’t have any. Her parents are separated. Her father lives alone. Her mother has a new man and enjoys traveling with him. Basically, Bella has nothing at all in her life, emotionally.

Edward

Edward is seen as a “catch” in the town Bella moves to. He’s one of the elite, although the movie doesn’t establish WHY he’s considered elite. I can only assume it’s because they imply that he’s physically attractive and mentally a renegade.

I grew up with “elite” people in my elementary school. I understand the draw, even though “Twilight” skipped over the character development explaining these people.

When I was 13 years old, I knew other 13-year-olds that got $150 a week in “allowance” (The money your parents give you to live and have fun on for no particular reason). At the time, my allowance was $20/week and a lot of my friends (who had JOBS by the time they were 13 or just stayed broke) considered me rich because of that.

I knew 13-year-old “elites” that would throw wild parties and raid their parents’ liquor cabinets and be the talk of the school, come Monday. I also knew 16-year-old elite females that dropped out of school to have kids, most likely due to some of those same parties.

So I understand the concept of “the table of cool kids” and how fascinating they are, just because they’re living lives that the rest of us aren’t living. One thing the movie never addresses is that Edward doesn’t age past 17, even though he became a vampire in ~1918, and nobody seems to notice.

So Edward seems to be rich, cool, has his own car, his parents pull him out of school whenever it’s a really nice day and the faculty never complains (= his family has juice), so it would appear that he could choose whatever female(s) he wants and they’d be glad to get down with the program.

Perfect Dynamic

This sets up the perfect dynamic between Edward & Bella that she’s not supposed to be able to pull a guy as good as him and he’s not supposed to settle for a girl as mediocre as she is.

This is the format for the American female dream. Self-Validation through being selected by an elite male for her unique qualities. Without the male being elite, it’s not worth anything because “who cares?”. If the female had been stunning and all guys were chasing her, it wouldn’t have been worth anything because the average American female wouldn’t feel like the film was about *her*. This is a modern reenactment of John Hughes movies about the mechanic chick getting the guy that’s chasing beauty queens, except instead of it happening within the last five seconds of the movie before the credits, it happens towards the beginning of the film.

The basis, as usual, is the concept of “Love”. The way Love is sold to women is that it’s some supernatural occurrence that has no realistic explanation. The more of an explanation there is for it, the less valid it is. This is why you don’t get any credit for telling a gal she has a nice ass. She attributes your statement to LUST, which is low-rated when compared to LOVE, which is something you’re supposed to feel….. um… because you feel it and you can’t explain it. Lusting after her doesn’t make her feel unique, because you like a lot of chicks’ asses. If you’re “In love with her”, that means that she’s the only one that inspires you to feel a certain way and then it’s Game On!

Unfortunately for my ‘discovery’ of this film, I was aware ahead of time that Edward was a vampire and Bella was Human. As an editor, I’m going to be aware of this fact the entire time, because I would have been in charge of being aware of character development & continuity if I had edited this film myself. For this reason, when Bella walks into the class and passes in front of the fan and Edward covers his nose, I immediately considered that he was avoiding her because he considered her a tasty morsel, not because he was repulsed by her, as Bella assumed.

Natually, this gimmick was revisited during the baseball game scene when Edward tells Bella to put her hair down and then the breeze blows through it, sending her Human scent to James, the hunter vampire. This was another plot flaw, BTW, because the vampire female on Edward’s team had said she could smell Bella from across the field, yet James was standing right in front of her and didn’t detect her as Human until the wind blew past her in his direction.

American Dream

I realized how well this screenplay was written and why the phenomenon has become so huge during the car scene after Edward rescues Bella from a pending gangbang and is driving her away from the scene. Bella and Edward reach for the radio at the same time, and Bella goes “Your hand is so cold! :O”. This was my “AHA!” moment because this scene occurred maybe halfway through the entire movie. Edward had already saved her life from getting crushed by a van, hung out with her lots of times and now arrived out of nowhere to save her from four guys that were planning to tag up, and she had NEVER. TOUCHED. HIS. SKIN. BEFORE!!! O_o

This, my friends, is the American female dream… Something For Nothing. This guy was hanging out with her, courting her and protecting her and he had never even held her hand before. Never kissed her before. Never ****** her before. Nothing. There’s no explanation why he’s compelled to do things for her, which validates her as an unique female… a CUAO. From then on, I watched the physical interaction (or lack thereof) between Edward & Bella and realized how masterfully the sexual tension was built into this book which was adapted into a screenplay.

Kool-Aid

For some reason, Edward’s crew of vampires has sworn off eating people, although it’s natural to them. When Edward first smells Bella, he’s like “LUNCHTIME!!! :D” but he fights off his natural urges and disappears from school for a few days until he calms down. Meanwhile, Bella’s been experiencing some kind of inexplicable attraction to Edward which is of course attributed to “love”. Edward, then, for no apparent reason, saves Bella’s life, making her even more enthralled by the concept of being with him. When she finds out he’s a vampire, she declares that she doesn’t care and that she’s not afraid of him. Logically, she’s willing to risk her life to be with him being that she would have been dead already if he hadn’t saved her from being crushed, however, of course, this is utilized as another demonstration of how deep her LOVE is for Edward.

The real hook to this movie is the fact that Edward can’t physically interact with Bella for fear of losing control and killing her. He decides to make out with her one time and has to retreat from that situation. This is like Female Final Fantasy.. that a guy wants them so badly that it hurts, but at the same time, he’s not willing to pull the trigger. Brilliant! :D BRAVO!!! :D Excellent Writing! :D I wish I would have thought up “Vampires that restrain themselves from eating Humans” myself.

Edward fights for and protects Bella, declaring her his entire life, and he hasn’t even hit it yet. What girl isn’t gonna drop her drawers for *THAT*? :D He goes against his family, goes against the entire town, goes against regular vampires, faces off against wolves, *AND* even goes against his own natural urges to KILL BELLA because he’s in love with her.

On top of all that, he can read EVERYONE’S mind, except for hers. The new-girl outcast loner is SO unique and important! Of course chicks are gonna drink the Kool-Aid straight with no chaser, wipe their lips and ask you to pass them some more! :D

Be Edward

The obvious moral of this story for the fellaz is to BE EDWARD!!! :D

Some gals you can pull by telling them what you WILL do for them. Others, you can pull by telling them what you WON’T do. ;) Be the Alpha. Make her feel unique. Tell her what you want from her…….. and then tell her why you can’t or won’t pull the trigger. Sweetness! hehe Leave her wondering how it WOULD HAVE BEEN if she had hooked up with you.

A lot of chicks won’t give it up simply because they know you want it. It’s this weirdo mentality where they like to make themselves feel special or perhaps powerful by denying or defying you. I know you know what I’m talking about.. Everything’s going in the right direction, and all of a sudden, they’re backing away from you or they start playing games. The counter to this dumb way of being is to tell them what you’re NOT going to do so they attempt to defy you by making you do it.

You see this throughout the movie. Edward tells Bella he’s a killer, her response is that she’s not afraid of him. Edward seems to be repulsed by her when he has to sit next to her in class, she wants to confront him about that. Edward tells her he’s not going to tell her about himself, she insists. Edward tells her he’s not going to turn her into a vampire, she tells him she wants to live with him forever.

So.. If nothing in your usual repertoire’s working, flip the script. Be That Guy. Make her the star of your movie. Break out your “Something for Nothing” game. Let her know that you’re her American Dream.. just don’t give it to her… Just let the tension build and see what happens ;)

Bill Cammack » DatingGenius

Wingman Responsibilities [Hunters, Part 01]

Distract The DUFF

Wingman Courtesy

Team Selection

Communication

Follow The Leader

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Target Assessment (Dating)

Back-Seat Driving

Essential Elements

Plan To Fail

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Revisionist History

Relationships

What about The Kid?

Porno Chicks

AAAAAAAAAAND STAY OUT!!! :D

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That’s OK… My Dog Doesn’t Speak EITHER!

Vanity (The Trait, Not The Singer)

Keeping Up Appearances

Lesser Of The Evils

Psychotic Episodes

Real World Application

“Common” Courtesy

The Cycle

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Why Chicks Dig “Twilight”

Bella

Edward

Perfect Dynamic

American Dream

Kool-Aid

Be Edward

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