I made a few early attempts, writing in the cramped cocoon of my sleeper cabin from KL, Malaysia to Hat Yai, Thailand. On arrival at our first destination, Koh Samui for New Years, I managed to write a bit on my laptop and on the ferry back to the mainland I scribbled away furiously on the rear deck in my moleskin.

However it did not last…

The only place that I consistently detailed the journey was Facebook.

Via patchy WiFi connections in hotels, backpackers, airports and coffee shops I updated friends and family every few days. Spurred on by encouraging replies and many thumbs-up for my micro-blogging style I present here my lightly edited updates and replies along with a few photos.

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All packed (I think), ready to head to the airport and fly out for SE Asia at 1am, ouch. Will spend a day in KL before travelling by rail, bus and ferry to Koh Samui for New Years. What was I thinking!

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Survived the flight to KL, Malaysia and spent the day exploring the city. Now preparing for much more transport to get to Koh Samui for New Years. First up is a 16 hour overnight train across the border to Thailand. Doh!

Highlight of the trip so far, my travelling mate Josh somehow paying 20 cents to NOT use a toilet at KL Sentral train station when confronted by a squat toilet. Lowlights, I have been up for about 34 hours… got maybe 5 minutes sleep on the 8 hour overnight flight. I’m going to collapse in that sleeper carriage.

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Swing Bar Lamai

Done with the planes, trains, songthaewes (old utes/pickups with bench seating for 14 in the back), buses, ferries and taxis. After missing two nights sleep, finally crashed in a real bed last night.

Chilling on Koh Samui, back from a debut cocktail and some reading on the beach at Swing Bar, very cool little beachside pub/club in Lamai that has swings instead of seats around the bar and lounges on the beach.

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Getting ready to head out for New Years on the beach at Koh Samui – wish all back home a great night and wonderful 2010.

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Spectacular New Years on Koh Samui done – fireworks, paper lanterns and good times. Next stop Bangkok.

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Safe and well in Bangkok, can’t knock Nok Air. Leave 10 minutes before schedule and arrive 25 minutes early. Pretty sure the pilots were afraid of missing happy hour.

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Private Tour of Chao Prya River

Sleep time after incredible day in Bangkok – kicked things off with our own longtail boat tour, then a 20km private bike tour at night covering the big temples, amazing villages along the rivers, carving up the crazy traffic (ask for Nok at Velo Thailand)  and then recovered with Big Gulp rum and cokes on the roof top bar. Simply awesome!

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Culinary day in Bangkok – late breakfast room service even though our cheap hotel doesn’t offer it (thanks ChefsXP), 25 cent street food for lunch followed by 5 star dining over 60 floors up on the rooftop of a skyscraper (Vertigo at the Banyon Tree).

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Most locals here in SE Asia seem to see me as either a fully functioning ATM, Godzilla or the reincarnation of Buddha. What are your thoughts?

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Just got to Kanchanaburi for the Bridge over River Kwai, nice little 3hr train trip, slumming it in 3^rd class with wooden bench seats.

After the War Memorial and Museum for the Thai-Burma railway today we will go see Hell Fire Pass and Bridge over the River Kwai tomorrow. Kanchanaburi is a beautiful town.

Walking Hell Fire Pass was very moving, followed by spectacular Erwan Falls. Off to the ancient capital Ayutthaya (Thai’s moved to Bangkok after the big bad Burmese ransacked it a few times) then onto Chiang Mai in the north.

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Elephant Trekking in Chiang Mai

In Chiang Mai after another marathon train journey. Yesterday was a 4 hour temple spotting spree in Ayutthaya. Tomorrow arvo I go zip-lining amongst the jungle canopy.

Almost trod on by an elephant walking back to our rooms after scoping out the night markets. It was just wandering the streets poking its nose in at various restaurants and pubs with its owner/mahout leading the way for some reason. They weren’t completely ignorant of public safety though, he had a blinking red bike light tied to his tail so traffic could see him ahead.

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A manic second last day in Thailand, fired a few rounds at the local military shooting range (seems appropriate amongst all the Buddhist temples), then went flying through the rain forests zip-lining and abseiling followed by a crazy 11 course dinner with a show.

Up first thing Saturday for elephant trek, some hiking and water rafting before flying back to Bangkok late at night and then to Hanoi (Vietnam) first thing Sunday morning.

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Pagoda on Hoan Kiem Lake, Hanoi

No love from Vietnam, hours to be allowed through immigration, then scammed by driver and taken to wrong backpackers. Ha Long Bay cruise was amazing though – now to escape insane Hanoi via another sleeper train to Hue.

About 24hrs all up on Ha Long Bay, was incredible. Too freezing to jump off the boat for a swim but did kayak for over an hour – saw this amazing cove with about 30 or so different monkeys milling about.

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Inspecting the Royal Tomb of Tu Doc in Hue

Another overnighter in the top bunk of a train – now in much more chilled Hue. Enjoyed a nice evening wandering the old-quarter of Hanoi scoffing pastries (bless French colonialism), dodging scooters and a local lady who seemed to go into shock after seeing me, almost throwing a pot of boiling water at me then fell down a few steps when I walked by again.

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Thanks all for the Birthday wishes. Had a great day so far (only 5pm here in Vietnam) – chauffeur driven from Hue to Hoi An over the spectacularly scenic Hai Van pass, where the ocean meets the mountains.

Resuming the Ho Chi Minh trail – at Danang airport about to fly to Saigon (HCMC) then Cambodia awaits.

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Landed safe yesterday in Saigon. About to go and organise a bus to take us across the border to Phnom Penh, Cambodia.

Interesting dining last night, the menu had everything except dog, from snails to a platter of pigs snouts and feet as well as many other things I’ve tried to block out of my mind.

Probably the oddest thing I have eaten so far is deep fried lawn clippings (was supposed to be lemon grass) with some shredded chicken mixed amongst it – at least I think it was chicken.

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Haunting Images of Tuol Sleng Victims

Safe and well after another border crossing. Now installed at the FCC Phnom Penh in Cambodia. Ahhh…

FCC is the Foreign Correspondents’ Club – superb view from our apartment of the Mekong and Tonle Sap rivers while kicking back in our robes and slippers. Had an incredible dinner last night.

Just got back from Tuol Sleng/S21 a former high school which was used as a prison and torture chamber by the Khmer Rouge right in the heart of the capital Phenom Penh. Very horrific stuff.

Amongst the Ruins and 216 Stone Faces of Bayon

National Museum was a bit more pleasant however there are only so many statues of Buddha and the various Hindu gods a man can see before he considers that torture as well.

Enjoying Cambodia much more than Vietnam – people a lot more friendlily. Even the touts and sales people not as pushy (e.g. instead of “You buy suit” its “Hello, you like suit/look at suit”). Although the 12 year old kids riding scooters alongside your motodop taxi saying “Hello you want marijuana?” are a little off putting.

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The Amazing Sight of Angkor Wat

Now in Siem Reap and ready for Angkor Wat tomorrow. First up though sleep time, sitting on half of a seat for the 6 hour bus trip is exhausting.

Amazing experience, two days touring the Angkor regions Wats with our amazing tuk tuk driver and guide Sambo (if your heading to Siem Reap please contact me and I’ll happily pass on Sambo’s contact details – I highly recommend him).

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Farewell Cambodia! I may be a crazy & BAD tourist but it’s been a pleasure to witness a bit of this beautiful country. Bussing it back to Bangkok first thing in the morn, that’s where crazy & BAD tourists belong. Travelling solo now – Joshless.

The 6 year old salesman/tout who called me a bad tourist also knew more about Australian politics than most Australian’s so perhaps he knows what he is talking about.

“You crazy man, you have bad luck now. You a BAADDDD tourist. Crazy!”

Basically he wanted me to buy some of the usual collection of hats, pillow cases, silk scarves. etc, while I wasn’t so keen.

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Worst bus ride ever – 6 hour trip taking 13. But at $6 to get from Siem Reap, Cambodia to Bangkok it wasn’t really a surprise, my ticket even had $18 marked on it – some fool in the group paid $35, now he was really angry.

Far too many stops to admire roadside cafes which pay kickbacks to the bus company. Then spent 2 hours waiting just inside the Thai border for the new bus, which had somehow transformed into an old flatbed truck roughly converted into a military style people carrier with a bench on either side. 20 minutes later another roadside cafe where we wasted another 1 & 1/2hrs before 58 people were jammed into a bus designed for 10 less. Safe in Bangkok and glad to have regained use of my legs and feeling in my….

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After a few days tripping around in taxi’s I’m convinced Bangkok cabbies speak no English beyond “Yes”, “No Worries” & “Sir”. As in, “Siam Center, MBK, yes. No worries Sir”.

Fortunately bad female drivers in Mercedes Benz’s are universally funny, so we broke the ice and I got to the dentists. Fortunately she spoke a lot better English. Unfortunately she could have perhaps spent more time studying dentistry than English. Fingers crossed my busted tooth is all healed up.

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Hanging Out With a 6 Month Old Tiger

Another crazy day in Bangkok, first scored free ride in tuk tuk, then free tickets to see Avatar at IMAX (awesome movie) followed by hilarious souvenir shopping with my new sumo wrestler friend Yamamotogao (was nice not to feel quite so King Kong like amongst all the midgets here for once).

After catching the overnight train again to lovely Chiang Mai I have been mauled by a tiger and had a run in with a local bikie gang. How was your day?

Disclaimer: ‘mauled’ means playfully bitten by a 6 month old. Didn’t break the skin, but I got an awkward hicky on my forearm to cover up.

Disclaimer: ‘local bikie gang’ means a group of about 30 teenagers who ride around on old Vespa’s and Lambretta’s wearing military surplus jackets and rasta hats. A bizarre Che Guevara/Bob Marley tribute bikie gang. Nice guys though.

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Going to miss Thailand – beautiful country, great food, friendly people & being able to say ‘crap’ all day and have people think I’m polite.

Basically in Thai if you say crap (pronounced more like krahp) after a few sentences it basically means ‘with respect’. So ‘Sawadee crap’ is ‘hello/goodbye respectfully’. Or something to that effect.

This concludes today’s lesson in Thai. I don’t know much more except how to get Bangkok cabbies to turn their meters on (respectfully of course by saying ‘meter na crap’, you’ll thank me when your quoted $10 taxi ride ends up costing $1.50).

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Waiting to fly Chiang Mai, Thailand to KL, Malaysia – then 12 hours to kill in KL airport before I trade sweating non-stop because of the humidity here for sweating non-stop because of the heat at home.

Back in the land of Oz… back in my comfy bed. Sadly it also means back to work. Got to pay for my next overseas jaunt – this time it won’t be 3 years between trips.

In my mind I have travelled the world, done great deeds, associated with the wonderful/talented/beautiful and amassed great wealth via many ingenious ideas.

Furthermore I have spent countless hours planning my dream life. Researching what car to buy, where to live, what to do with my endlessly idle time and which supermodel to date – once I’ve made it.

I could go on but I think you get the point.

Don’t let your imagination get in the way of making your dreams come true – get out there take action and live your dreams.

However…

“If you have built castles in the air, you work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them.” – Henry David Thoreau

Now to return to building those foundations.

In that time we covered 4 countries (Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam & Cambodia), explored 14 cities and encountered countless new people (tourists & locals) while coming to terms with the new cultures and centuries of history.

This time has opened my eyes to the power of travel to transform our lives, in part by leaving elements of our identity behind and absorbing new ones on the road.

A large part of our identity is where we live, who we surround ourselves with and what we do day-to-day. When travelling, particularly over a longer term, we abandon these external influences on who we are and instead can focus on who we truly are as a person.

We often leave behind some of our habits, be they good or bad.

You may change your sleep patterns – becoming an early riser to ensure a productive day of sight seeing. Or instead you may transform into a laze-about. Sleeping all day, or at least till you shake off that hangover from a night of mingling with new friends.

It may be spending habits. Although travel can be expensive, chances are you will leave behind your poor daily spending habits. Without your regular coffee shop nearby you skip the $4 morning pick me up, do not succumb to the fast food temptations.

Your daily exercise habits, or as is more often the case lack of exercise, is often thrown out the window. The daily commute and hours behind a desk can be replaced with exploring a new city by foot, mountain hikes and bike tours. Be aware the temptation however to lounge by the beach or pool and work on your tan the whole time.

Let’s not forgot diet either. When traveling it can at times be easier to eat healthy, your regularly on the move so you tend to grab quick easy and unhealthy snacks. Or you can slow down a little and eat as the locals do – the healthy ones at least. I’m shamed to admit its a rare day when I indulge in fresh fruit but it was so abundant and cheap in most cities that I simply couldn’t ignore. Though I had a few cheat days I was for the most part eating local healthy food from small family restaurants and the awesome street vendors (particularly in Thailand).

As you travel take time to realise the bad habits you have successfully left behind and ensure you do not fall back into them once you return. From the small things like not checking your watch every 5 minutes

Also be aware of bad habits you may be picking up whilst exploring the world. For many travel brings out the inner cheapskate

Travel can be a powerful catalyst for life change because the act of travel effectively throws out the script of our daily lives.

Re-asses values, different perspectives and belifes as you are confronted by new ways of life – cultures and experiences. Most importantly enjoy yourself. Travel is an amazing thing.

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While on my trip I managed to tick off a few more of my lifetime goals – you can see my updated list here and subscribe by RSS or email updates to see the upcoming posts about my travel experiences.

Lets examine some examples of doing and doing well…

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I was a competitive swimmer in what seems another life time, complete with a former Olympic gold medallist as one of my coaches (I had as many as 4 at a time).

It was compulsory for kids to learn to swim when I was at school and as a result slmost all Australians can swim. After following a swan into a pond at the age of three and nearly drowning my parents made learning a priority before I even started school.

After the early rocky relationship with water it was soon a major passion. In summer I could be found swimming in any body of water I could find – pools, ocean, creeks, rivers and even irrigation channels.

Eventually my natural passion turned to competition and training 5-6 days a week and regularly covering 30km’s during the same period.

I was far better than most – able to swim all strokes, dive and tumble turn. Fastest my age at school and the local swimming club were I typically trained. But still I wasn’t the best. Sure I picked up medals, ribbons and trophies in regional competitions, but at state level I was a small fish in a big pond stocked full of bigger and more talented fish.

I trained harder, however my dedication eventually waned in response to my inability to rise to greater succsess.

A team of elite sports medical staff eventually revealed I had bad knees, unsuitable for elite competition and other undesirable flaws. Training was eventually put on hiatus and major illness shortly after killed my thoughts of a comeback.

Though I still feel at home in the water I really only returned to training for rehabilitation purposes a few years later.

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The majority of the population can drive a car on the road, many are unable to drive a manual (stick) and only a fraction of those can drive well.

Of that group a small number race cars and a fraction of those again are good at what they do. Only a handful in the world are truly skilled drivers given the opportunity to drive the worlds best machines in elite competition.

I have been driving cars since I could see over the dashboard, first rode a motorbike aged 5 and I’ve been legally driving on the road for 9 years now. I’m a safer driver than many – 18 years experience with motorised vehicles and 10 years racing cars gives me an advantage over most drivers my age with far more limited experience, particularly when it comes to emergency situations.

However I’m limited by natural talent and instincts as well as the finances to pursue most forms of motorsport. Driving safely on the roads, embarrassing my friends at commercial go karting tracks and the occasional club race is about the limit for me.

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Likewise a lot of people can write – banging out a quick email, firing off a text message. But far less can write well. A fraction of those write for passion, and the elite few of that groups are talented/best selling authors.

I always knew with a fair degree of certainty where I stood in the previous categories, a stop-watch can quickly measure how fast you are on track or in the pool.

There is no simple test for writers. I can’t see at a glance that I am 12 seconds slower than Chuck Palahniuk or less efficient than Haruki Murakami. It’s simply a gut feeling of mine and the varying opinions and biases of those who read my work.

The only way to get a better understanding is to stop questioning my abilities (or lack of) and instead focus on writing as well and as prolifically as possible – let my success be a measure and enjoy what I do regardless.

Some may call it the tipping point or the dip, but it feels more like I’m staring at up at Everest or preparing to drop from a plane unsure if I packed the parachute.

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For those wannabe artists, writers or otherwise creative types looking for a kick in the pants then I highly recommend reading The War of Art by author and screen writer Steven Pressfield.

My belief is that religion served a vital purpose many years ago and that purpose has been eroded over the last few century’s.

That purpose is primarily to make people conform to and live by a set of standards. Today we have laws to abide by (otherwise we will be punished) and socially reinforced norms of behaviour (which will leave us as social outcasts if we do not follow) that for the most part take away the usefulness of religion.

“Major religions are examples of ‘noble lies’ aimed at uplifting human stature.” – Jack Miller

What remains is the spiritual aspect, that there is a higher power and a greater purpose to what we do. To me the notion of an after-life or re-incarnation is greedy/lazy. I only have one life and I intend to do my best with it.

In times gone by religion was used to make people adhere to societal norms of behaviour (do not commit ’sin’) otherwise you will go to hell when you die and suffer guilt in the short term. From this also comes the concept of forgiveness. That we can be absolved of our sins, even of murder, is to me an abhorrent concept.

I think all religions have many wonderful life lessons – however some other lessons are not compatible with modern life, are plain wrong or have been misinterpreted and corrupted.

“I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.” – Galileo Galiliei

I’m certain Jesus did walk the earth, however as a man like you and me. If he was to come back to life I think he would be seriously unhappy at how his message and beliefs have been twisted in his absence.

He was a wise and generous man who after his death had his message corrupted. In amongst his wise teachings they mixed in rubbish about walking on water and then turning it into wine.

Do you believe if you were capable of such miracles that you would allow someone to nail you to a cross?

“To you, I’m an atheist. To God, I’m the loyal opposition.” – Woody Allen

To me that is completely the wrong attitude – if you are not sleeping correctly death will creep up on you sooner. Sleep deprivation has enormous affects on your health.

In the short term it can result in muscle pain (the body heals stressed muscles when you sleep), irritability, depression, poor memory and more.

In the long term it can contribute to Type 2 Diabetes, heart disease, mental illness, obesity and more. Sleep deprivation is even an effective form of torture.

Researchers have shown that people who have been awake for more than 16 hours are more of a risk driving than those with a blood alcohol content of .05 – it affects your motor skills and judgement. It is also shown to have a significant impact on school grades.

The sweet spot for sleep is between 7 – 9 hours, each night. Sleeping too much is almost as bad as getting not enough.

My Sleep Pattern

It has taken me a long time, though I can now say quite certainly that I have perfected my sleep cycle.

For me 7 hours and 15 minutes sleep is about perfect. I can wake up easily, jump out of bed feeling refreshed and full of energy. I try to go to bed between midnight and 2am waking between 7am and 9am. Sometimes it-s later if I have a reason to be up late and on other occasions I go to bed earlier if I have something I need to wake earlier for, my day job means I work very varied hours.

Regardless I usually set the alarm on my phone so it will wake me in 7 and a half hours time, allowing me 15 minutes to fall asleep. In the event I fall asleep quickly I often will wake 5 or 10 minutes before my alarm; when that happens I try to get up rather than wait for the alarm.

When the Pattern Breaks Down

Sometimes I cannot get my 7 and a quarter hours sleep for a variety of reasons. I may not be feeling well, I was late getting to bed but have to be up early or on occasion I just don’t sleep (when the weather changes my body often has difficulty adjusting and this often affects my sleep).

If you cannot get that much in a particular night have a power nap. When unable to get my full sleep I often take a nap or two of about 20 minutes, again setting an alarm to wake me. I find each nap erases the effect of missing about an hour from my sleep – but there is??obviously??diminishing returns after missing more than 3 hours sleep. When a??significant??amount??of sleep is missing (over several days or a week) I will generally make it up??progressively by sleeping in an extra hour or so over the next few days to erase the sleep debt .

When feeling sick or run-down I listen to my body and get more sleep, going to bed earlier or sleeping in if possible. Typically an extra hour or two will do, again if I don’t have the time available at night I may substitute it for a daytime nap – who doesn’t love a siesta.

If you need more sleep take it. However sometimes it is just because you-re not getting enough sunlight, which used to be the case with me.

Let the Sun Shine

My dad always talked about the importance of -getting some sunshine- when I was a kid, it was only until recently I realized he was onto something. I now try to get at least half an hour outside each day and avoid wearing sunglasses. I used to put them on whenever I went outside, now it-s generally only when looking into the direction of the sun (when driving , playing sport or sitting in a bad position).

Our body-s evolved with exposure to large amounts of sunshine, both on to our skin and filtered through our eyes – for many of us that exposure is almost non-existent and without going into the science behind this, basically it does affect our sleep. Now I-m not going to suggest we run around in nothing but loin cloths all day, but some exposure to the sun is important. An hour a day is more than enough – cancer is a very serious concern, so wear sunscreen and a hat, use sunglasses as I described and avoid being outside around 12-2pm when sun is at its brightest.

You-re Bed

One thing I would really recommend is a great bed. Mine cost more than my car. But it-s not great because its expensive, it could be useless for you, but for me it is perfect. I can lie down for just 10 minutes and feel so much better.

Spend a lot of time finding a great bed. I tried almost 70 beds over about a week in order to find the right one, some of them I laid on for more than 10 minutes. Sales people will think your weird, but if they want to sell you a bed they better get with the program.

Sleep

So there you have it, nothing to complex, sleep, be happy, be healthy and enjoy life.

Whats your sleep schedule like and how do you get to sleep?

“If you can’t convince them, confuse them.” – Harry S. Truman

Or as my old teacher said – “If you cant dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit.”

In interviews politicians and the like dance around a question for hours with bullshit and bravado, like a bullfighter taunting and teasing the interviewer. Never standing directly in the way of the question, waving their red cape around in a flurry and simply stepping out of the way when necessary.

Their are no simple straight answers, they dart off on a tangent – “Well poisoned apples being sold to the public is a important issue, equally important is my mothers oranges. They are so delicious and make great juice.” Yes I’m sure they are, but we were talking about deadly apples, not delicious oranges.

When dealing with a salesman there is more bullshit. Doing a deal really means surrounding this deal with so much shit, you wont see the giant pile of it that your about to pay for then step in and trample all through your house.

In the increasingly likely event they really don’t know about the product the salesman will throw out some shit they think you want to hear… “It’s a bargain, I don’t know how long it will last at this price”. The answer is until some other sap buys it or the boss tells the salesman to change the price.

And when a blogger doesn’t post for the better part of a month he writes a quick little post like this hoping people wont notice the absence and everything will return to normal.

Take it easy on the bullshit, regular programming will resume later this week.

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In my absence I have ticked off another goal, I have now read two of the most famouslly daunting novels Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand and Ulysses by James Joyce.

Perhaps more importantlly I am polishing my second short story, Dark Charity, which will be available for public consumption soon enough.

I’m discovering more and more that there is also a fog of writing, where you get in too deep, too immersed in your own writing and things begin to loose meaning, direction – even all sense.

Its almost like Stockholm Syndrome as well.

The words take you captive, you hate them at first, doing as they say regretfully. But after being stuck in a room together, for what seems an eternity, the lines become blurred. The more you co-operate, the worse they treat you. And somehow you like them more and more – you think they are great.

You begin to think they are the greatest bunch of words to ever hold a writer captive. In fact your now convinced they did not drag you kicking and screaming – you were asking for it. Pleading for some words to come along, take you by the hand for a walk to a better place.

You go along with the gag, pretend your chaining yourself to the computer, and resume each day to put more of those words into action, telling their story.

However, once the writing is done and the words are on the page the truth slowly returns. You have been brainwashed – the fog of writing was so thick you couldn’t see that all along it was a bad story. In fact it’s just awful.

You try to forget about it – hide the pages in a draw and pray the words don’t creep back into your head.

But they do. Take another look, surely its not as bad as you thought.

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So what does all of that mean. Well I finally finished the first draft of my second short story (it’s called Dark Charity) and the fog is thick.

I’m not sure if I love it or hate it. The truth probably lies somewhere in-between. There is obviously a lot of work to do, like perhaps a complete re-write, yet I believe the basic storyline is quite good.

Stay tuned.

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My family home, a few acres of what could be classed as a hobby farm set amongst bushland (native Australian forest) is really a pet cemetery. I would love to see archaeologists digging up the grounds in thousands of years and trying to explain so many remains.

Taking pride of place amongst most of the unmarked graves is Dennis. Dennis was the wise Buddha of our family’s many cats. He eventually taught most of what he knew to Spaz, his protege. They looked quite alike, both ginger, except Spaz was fat and had patches of white on his feet and chest.

Dennis was Zen like, at least it seemed that way to me as a child. The other cats would create quite a fuss when I pulled their tails or got a little zealous with my patting, running in fear of their life and causing me to chase them. Wise Dennis would just calmly back away.

However he wasn’t completely docile. He was also a Shaolin killer monk cat. While our other cats could all pick off their share of small wild birds Dennis’s party trick was killing rabbits. I never fully understood how. I would often seem him sitting for hours perched high up on the dam bank of our property, obviously observing the rabbit burrows a few hundred meters away along a small creek. He was stalking his prey from a distance and learning their habits.

He would often leave their remains, mostly fur and a view organs he had no taste for, ceremoniously on our doormat. Too many times a family member would unknowingly step out into a pile of what was once Bugs Bunny’s third cousin early in the morning.

Dennis was patient, teaching the idiot Spaz his Zen ways. His calming influence vastly improved Spaz’s demeanour, from tear about, destroyer of furniture and scratcher of arms – to a docile sook who would dribble endlessly after a good pat. Spaz eventually could catch rabbits, but he never quite had the same flair or killer instinct. His attempts to imitate Denis’s ceremonial laying of the remains was hit and miss as well. They were typically small baby bunnies rather than the full grow ones Denis was so proud of, or he would leave the whole rabbit, minus perhaps it’s head.

Not long after his protege’s first catch Denis disappeared. His health had been deteriorating over the past year, he had reached the ripe old age of 18 and had earnt his retirement. After 3 days without a sign of him our families friends, who lived about a kilometre away phoned to say they had found his body. Rather than bother us with his death he slipped away and by sheer coincidence (he had never been to their house before) he chose to die underneath a car that was sitting on their property.

During the years we have certainly gone through quite a few cats, I’ve honestly lost count. There was the originals, Denis and his female companion Mutzi. Mutzi was a feisty cat, probably because she didn’t take my tail pulling lying down. She passed away one night, old age had caught up with her.

Then there was Hypo, a female tortise shell. As the name would suggest she had an unfortunate mental illness that caused her to become incredibly hyperactive. After several years tormenting us she started an argument with a snake and lost. She passed away within a few hours of being bitten – it was a terrible thing to witness, her body fighting the toxins coursing through her body. Despite attempts to save her after consulting a vet, Hypo lost the fight.

Several kittens tried to take her place, one ran away and was never seen again. My father tragically killed another while building a brick chimney. It climbed up the staggered brick steps my dad was building from the ground to the sky, my dad steped down onto the same brick as the poor kitten and broke it, badlly.

Spaz, his name an homage of sorts to Hypo and a reflection of his earlly personality would come next…

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Stay tuned for the next part of the saga – more cats, a few dogs, oh and penty of ducks and chickens, a pair of sheep, dozens of different birds plus more. Oh and in case your havent read it yet, we even had a pet kangaroo.

Until then I’d love to hear about your childhood pets.

Do you believe them? Do you give up your way of thinking?

What if they all believed you were lying about an illness that was crippling your life and your body? What if everyone believed you were making up all those symptoms that had ruined your life?

My Story

For those who arent regular readers, I was in that position earlier this decade, as barely a teenager, on the verge of suicide as everything around me turned sour.

In case that wasn-t bad enough, I began to doubt myself. That was the worst feeling in the world.

Looking back, doubting myself was far worse than the physical pain and emotional strain I went through. Losing faith in my own judgement and heartfelt belief, then trading it for the opinions of those around me.

It didn-t last for long, but those few weeks were the lowest in my life. Lying in bed suddenly convinced that the pain throughout my body, that had kept me there for over a year, was a figment of my imagination.

Bouncing Off The Bottom

After hitting rock bottom and coming so close to attempting suicide, I became determined to live life according to my own rule and reason. My first rule was although I listened to and respected the opinions of other, I would put my own ahead of all of them. My second was to listen to my heart.

According to both rules I was not making it up and I should seek people that supported my belief and also those who could do something about it. After an incredibly emotional discussion with my mother late at night, I got my families support back . The very next day we set about finding some doctors who would stand in my corner, rather than deliver a barrage of blows from the opposing side of the ring.

First I found a very understanding GP, who although she had precious little idea of what was wrong with me, had a lot of compassion and sent me to every expert who she believed may be able to help. Most of those followed suit with the previous doctors, insisting it was all in my head and that I should stop lying and go back to school.

Finding The Truth In My Eyes

Finally one brilliant doctor looked where others hadn-t, into my eyes. Where others checked my body that had been wracked with pain or probed my mind that was slowly breaking down, he checked my eyes that had shed far too many tears recently. Something appeard wrong to him.

The blood vessels at the back of my eyes, the optic disc, looked seriously aggravated and he referred me to a specialist. Days later I was diagnosed with papilledema, which was caused by benign intracranial hypertension. It turned out earlier doctors where correct, it was all in my head. My body was producing too much of the fluid that runs up your spine and and surounds your brain, underneath the skull. It was putting pressure on the back of my eyes and somehow sending false pain signals all over my body.

I had a 10 inch needle shoved into my spine to drain the excess fluid. Once the pressure (mine was about 600% greater than the normal range) was released things slowly got better.

It was still a battle, a painfully slow rehabilitation process of regaining my lost muscle mass and teaching myself to walk again in a manner befitting a young man rather than 80 year old woman crippled by arthritis. Again I put faith in myself. I could have done hospital based rehab, instead I did my own things, swimming daily in my aunts freezing cold pool in the middle of winter, trying to walk an extra 100m each day (including taking the initial 100m walk – yes I was that bad).

Gradually I made it back to school and got on with my life.

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Lessons to be Learnt

I grew up an awful lot in the 18 month period briefly described above and I-m sure there are a lot of lessons you can take away from it.

• Your health is the most vital part of your life. Until you are happy and healthy not just physical, but also mentaly and emotionaly, all other concerns in life need to take a back seat. How can you love or take care of someone else when you do not love and take care of yourself.
• Before you try to convince someone else, convince yourself. If you-re trying to pitch an idea or a deal to someone, put your ego and preconceived notions aside for a second and truly listen to your own pitch. Would you invest in, or otherwise trust yourself? If you don-t, why should anyone else.
• We all need true allies. After you have unshakable belief in who you are and what you want to achieve, find people who feel the same and can help you to make it happen. Don-t do it the other way around, you will find the wrong people.
• Yours is the most important opinion – obey experts at your own peril. Learn from them, investigate their advice, but do not follow it blindly and get at least a second opinion. I went through approximately 30 doctors before I found one who agreed with me, it took about another 10 to find someone with the right answers. Go with your opinion and trust your gut – even if you are wrong, it is a lesson learnt.
• Friends will come and go from your life, but family is forever. They are both very important. Be more forgiving of your family, although you can make more, you won-t find any replacements. Friends are a different matter – if they-re not working for you, replace them. When I got sick my then friends completely abandoned me, in 18 months I got a few cards and one visit in the first month. When I got back to school I largely ignored them and found other friends.
• When you-re going through bad times, keep going. Once you hit rock bottom there is nowhere to go but up. Along the way you will learn more about yourself, what you are capable of and the world around you than you could ever imagine.
• Never give up on your dreams and goals. While sick I had a lot of time to contemplate all the things I would rather be doing and eventually I wrote them all down. Getting better was at the top of the list and since ticking it off I have set about achieving the remaining 100+ life goals.

Most importantly, enjoy life. Live yours and help enrich others.