Take or leave my advice, it’s up to you. I’m not rich - I don’t even have an above average income. I am however a great saver (though I do have incredibly low overheads - mostly by design) with some quite healthy lifetime financial habits.

“It is a kind of spiritual snobbery that makes people think they can be happy without money.” - Albert Camus

Essentially I don’t just look at the cost of an item, I look at the value of it. Basically it’s about weighing up the cost of an item with the quality and taking into consideration how you will use it to determine the value.

If you are use something rarely and don’t have much interest in it, buy the cheapest item that will be able to do the job.

Buying the cheapest is not always the best option. The most expensive is often the same. The best value typically comes in the middle price range, but not always. At the middle price range you often get better quality and therefore a longer lifespan till the item breaks down or otherwise need replacing, at a reasonable cost.

Here are a few examples of things I have bought:

Bed Vs. Car - Now the contrast between bed and car is huge. I doubt there a many people on earth with a bed that cost more money than their car, I do not know any. I’m one of them. My car cost less than $1,000 while my bed cost almost double that.

Most people drive fancy cars yet sleep on rather average beds. I have a rather average car yet sleep on a world class bed. Why?

Quite simply because I spend far more time in my bed than I do in my car. That is at least 6 hours sleeping compared to an average 20 minutes a day behind the wheel). Sure I have a passion for cars and would love to drive something very expensive and nice on the road but I would rather enjoy the benefits from my bed. Great sleep and good health. To me sleep is more valuable than transport.

Having said that my car is very reliable, now just over 10 years old and quite well maintained by my father and I. In the event that something comes up and will cost money I have plenty of savings to pay cash for another car immediately to replace it.

I did not set out to spend almost $2,000 on my bed. Since it was a major purchase I spent a few hours over a few days trying different beds priced from $40 to over $4,000 until I found the perfect one for my body. I would gladly have paid $20,000 for the bed I have, it is the best investment I have made in my health.

Batteries - AA batteries are not cheap, they can be quite expensive. While the initial cost of a set of rechargeable batteries dwarfs the cost of even lithium batteries, if you are a heavy user they will pay for themselves. I try to use rechargeable batteries in most major devices. Camera is the big one but even things like my beard trimmer and torches have rechargeable batteries in them. Things like remote controls have such a long battery life so it would not be cost effective to use rechargeable in there. I don’t buy brand name disposable batteries - generic brands are less than half of the cost with at least 2/3 of the performance in devices that use little power.

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Do You Really Need It? If So, Pay As Little As Possible!

The golden rule is don’t spend more than you have to and more importantly don’t buy it if you don’t need it.

Obviously if you must have something, or really want it, then you should definitely buy it. Make sure you don’t pay too much. I have a number of strategies for keeping the maximum amount of cash in my wallet while getting what I need.

Look for the best price to start with. Don’t drive from store to store, the saving you may find will most often be eliminated by the cost of driving. Try looking on the net first, otherwise make a few phone calls to the stores most likely to have the best price.

From there haggle by asking “is that as low as you can go on the price” or “I really wasn’t planning on spending that much, can you do a better price for me”.

Offer to pay cash and be prepared to walk away (or at least give that impression) if you cannot get a reduction. If that’s of no use ask too, speak to a manager or try again later. If you’re calm and friendly the worst that can happen is the sales person will say “no I’m sorry that is as low as we can go”.

Another way to get big savings is to bundle your purchases. When you buy that new big screen TV, let them know that your also going to buy a Blu-Ray player, surround sound system and a new digital camera. I’ve done similar and effectively gotten the camera for free. Note however this is only a saving if you needed to buy all items.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Haggling is often going to net quite significant savings on bigger items, however complaining about the cost of a banana with the supermarket cashier is not haggling, its being a pedantic and annoying. If you cannot afford the banana, don’t buy it or find somewhere you can get it at wholesale prices.

I will cover a bit more about fussing over daily costs in part 2. It will also deal with saving your money, investing it and how to use credit and loans correctly.

Resources

One of the best article I have ever read on this topic is Tynan’s blog post The Secrets of Buying. It confirmed a lot of lessons I’d learnt from my parents who are quite savy buyers.

No related posts.

You can read the story below or download the PDF version. Feel free to share the link to this page or the PDF with your friends or print it out, however it is not to published online or elswhere without my written permision.

It is just under 1,900 words or about 5 pages and should take between 4 and 8 minutes for an average reader. I would greatlly appreciate your thoughts and comments, I hope you enjoy the story.

—

The Renovator

A short story by Bill Riddell - 12/7/2009.

Life, strangely enough, begins at birth - typically in a hospital. Yet for Stuart his awakening occurred at the age of 7, when his parents dragged him along to a weekend market. A strange sensation took hold of his body as he heard a book case cry out, desperate to be released from its state of gloom. Years of neglect had taken their toll, however he could see the beauty it once possessed and the potential that remained. Its once gleaming varnish had been battered by decades of faithful service, only to be cast aside.

A coffee table was discovered next. It no longer matched the decor of the owner’s new home. “How could they just leave it outside?” he asked his parents. The table’s once lacquered timber was now scarred by rain and bird shit.

Upon restoring a piece to its former glory Stuart felt like a hero healing the wounds of time by sanding and polishing.

His parents encouraged him, glad to see their only child finding a hobby other than reading. Other kids his age learned life lessons from playing sport and having petty squabbles. Stuart got his lessons from his mother at the dinner table, his father in their little workshop under the house and the books he devoured.

Stuart’s father was a handyman and gladly passed on the little he knew about sanding back and polishing or painting timber, re-upholstering seats, filling dents and scratches.

From his mother he inherited the ever present need for perfection. She was an avid interior decorator, changing their house’s furnishings every year or two and ensuring it was meticulously clean when not undergoing the latest revolution.

While his mother sought to create and maintain perfection, Stuart’s passion was to start with a broken canvas. It gave him greater satisfaction and he liked that the used furniture had a story and soul.

While toiling in his workshop he would often consider what horrors the furniture had endured at the hands of its previous owners. Anger would simmer inside him at times - nothing brutal, but it was there. Each tear in the upholstery revealed some sordid affair and those dents and scratches in a table top revealed a man both angry and neglecting. He talked to the furniture as he tended to its wounds, reassuring it that all would be well again.

People are the problem he often told the furniture. He was right.

Stuart’s school years were spent in isolation, quarantined from the world. He was polite but withdrawn. While his classmates roamed the school grounds between classes, he was ensconced in the library, locked away. However he was sure the key to his escape was hidden amongst the books it also held prisoner.

His reading began with adventure, fantasy and sci-fi. Slowly it matured, crossing to non-fiction - the biographies of heroes and adventurers, and then growing again to absorb the knowledge of self improvement. Despite reading them all, from conquering your fears to public speaking, he was still unable to make friends, let alone influence people. The material was all inside his head, he understood the social missteps he was taking each day, yet he failed to put it to use. He was unable to transform himself in the same way he could transform those forlorn pieces of furniture. Unwilling to peel back the layers, repair the damage and correct the inherent flaws in his makeup.

With his parent’s encouragement, Stuart sold his mended goods at the same market where he had discovered his infatuation with furniture just a year earlier. The market fostered in him a passion for business and it wasn’t long until he was devouring books on the subject and paying close attention to furniture stores and other successful stalls at the market.

School took a back seat. He was smart, but grew bored, preferring to toil in the workshop than do his homework. His growing business was of greater interest than history and trigonometry. Expansion continued, selling his pieces to furniture stores and even creating an all natural furniture polish with wax from a local bee keeper.

As his peers progressed from high school to college Stuart became a full time business man. He passed on his methods of renovating furniture to staff, bought out a business he previously supplied and then set about renovating it.

Love and romance eluded him - friends too. Stuart figured if he could build his great company, the rest would take care of itself. His only relationships were professional. Each interaction became a chess-like process to get the most out of his staff, customers and suppliers.

Success continued, however he grew tired of the day to day. Stuart took a break and eventually sold the company. The process was then repeated with another furniture store and then a garden centre.

He was alive once again, yet it was eerily similar to the forlorn furniture he started with. Other failing businesses came along, were purchased, polished and sold once more. His wealth grew while his social life remained absent. The people he dealt with were just employees and business opponents. Along with a lawyer, bank manager and accountant they were all just obstacles and tools to craft his vision.

It wasn’t until his early-thirties that he saw the human in someone other than his parents. Sophie was like the pretty girls in high school who coasted along. For some reason they never asked Stuart to help with their homework, but Sophie did. Her small shoe store was haemorrhaging with just a few months left until it bled her dry. She shared the same passion as Stuart to turn the company around and in him she found the knowledge to achieve it.

To Stuart’s immense frustration it was purely platonic and even worse, strictly business. He found himself longing for some small talk, perhaps for the first time in his life, but was rejected at every attempt. Sophie had a busy social life to juggle along with her business.

He had become a consultant where he had hoped to become a lover. Eventually accepting the role, but on his terms. Stuart didn’t just want to turn around Sophie’s store, but also her life. The personal changes he insisted were for the good of her business. A culling of her social life he hoped would make her open up to him. When that failed he began asking personal questions that would ‘unlock the hidden reasons why her business was failing’, when his only interest was for them to show the way into her heart.

Their relationship continued unchanged for several months. Sophie’s business gradually improved as Stuart became resigned to his fate. To celebrate her business finally breaking even she invited Stuart to her house for a thankyou dinner. When they sat down to eat the chicken tangine Sophie had prepared, Stuart looked at her with shock.

“You have one of my tables,” he said. “I can’t believe you have this table that I fixed probably 12 years ago.”

“I know. My mother gave it to me when I finished university, it made this house a home,” Sophie said. “She recommended I get you to help with my store, she had a stall at the market close to yours.”

“I’m glad she brought us together and got you to take care of this table,” said Stuart.

“You’re welcome,” she said sincerely. “I can appreciate how much you love furniture, I feel the same way about shoes.”

“My grandfather was a cobbler. When I was little I would sit on a stool in his workshop as he repaired the shoes that others had destroyed and neglected. I wish I had the chance to learn from him before he died, I’d rather his job than peddling those new shoes.”

They talked about polishing the table and how Sophie would sometimes sit on her grandfather’s lap and polish shoes, before they were returned to their neglectful owners. She often lectured her customers about caring for their purchases and it hurt her to know the spiel fell on deaf ears.

Stuart sat smiling, watching her face, more animated than he had ever seen it. He realised slowly that the table at which he sat and had previously repaired, was the key to unlocking the heart of the women he was falling in love with.

It could have been the white wine or the recognition of their similarities, but they began to gaze into each other’s eyes across the table. As Stuart lent across to refill her glass Sophie seized his face in her hands and pulled it to her lips, rising from her seat to meet him.

They fell in love, eventually sharing Stuart’s house, with their table taking pride of place. As they slowly peeled back each other’s glossy veneers they saw the flaws and damage in one another.  Sophie observed that Stuart was a one dimensional person with an unhealthy obsession and in her he recognised an ugly addiction to drugs and alcohol. Fierce arguments were a regular occurrence. She hit him often, slapping him about the face and pounding his chest with loosely closed fists. He retaliated once, returning her slap. It shocked him, seeing the damage that he had caused, tears streaming down her face and the shocked expression she wore.

He grew tired of her antics, the disappearances, hangovers and deteriorating health. Her business was struggling again and Stuart was convinced she was taking money from it to score drugs. Rather than push her away it only made him want her more.

His relentless pursuit to fix her drove Sophie mad. She resented his father-like lectures and routinely tearing the house apart searching for her stashes of vodka and scotch. In return she would push his buttons whenever possible, by being rough with furniture - not using coasters, putting her feet up with shoes on.

Sophie had cooked dinner, putting a pot of soup on the table straight from the hot plate.

“Put a god damn placemat down,” Stuart said. “I can’t believe it.”

“You’d better believe it,” she said, gripping the pots handles and grinding it into the surface. She then picked up an ornate wooden placemat and broke it over her thigh in triumph.

“That’s what I think of you and your precious furniture,” said Sophie, seething with rage.

“Get out,” yelled Stuart. “Get out NOW!”

Sophie spun on her heels, grinning as she lifted a slender chair above her head and swung it down on the polished floor boards, shattering the chair. As the splinters settled she made strides towards the hallway. Stuart chased after her. He grabbed her shoulder from behind and flung her body backwards, crashing into the table.

Sophie turned back to see Stuart thrust the steak knife he was clutching into her chest - puncturing her heart. His obsession with furniture had unlocked her heart to him again, this time would prove fatal.

After thoroughly cleaning the floor where Sophie had bled to death and the steak knife, Stuart felt the urge to continue renovating. He repaired the chair and then, as his thoughts turned to what to renovate next, he broke down and wept. He had never seen a coffin in need of some repair. His greatest passion had killed the woman he loved.

THE END

No related posts.

Since I’m clearing house, rather than delete what was already there I have joined them together, added a bit of polish and here is the result.

I’m sure you will get something out of it and it will push me to create some more original posts for you to read, rather than stretch the contents below out for a month or so.

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The Users Guide to Criticism

“If you limit your actions in life to things that nobody can possibly find fault with, you will not do much.” - Lewis Carroll

A lot of us tend to think of criticism as something incredibly negative, but that should not always be the case. I’ve learnt to love it along with all other forms of feedback.

As much as the sting of criticism hurts, you must learn to harness that. Turn it into a positive force, an iron will to overcome and improve.

Take it as a compliment. If you’re being mediocre and just getting by, chances are you’re not going to get much criticism. But if you are pushing the envelope and doing great things then the naysayers will come along. I’m really disappointed that I haven’t really received much hate mail yet - it shows I need to keep working harder and pushing the envelope.

If you take a strong stance you are going to incur the wrath of people taking the opposite view point while gaining the admiration of the side you support. Sitting on the fence will not really win you any support or criticism.

If you live in fear of criticism and shy away from your dreams because of it then the critics are winning without even having to write a word or raise their voice.

At the same time, don’t ignore criticism. Not all of it is constructive, but there is almost always something that can be learnt from it.

Finally, remember that you cannot please everyone.

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Learning the Hard Way - Make More Mistakes

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” - Oscar Wilde

I am terribly afraid of making mistakes but am beginning to embrace them more. I want to make mistakes and I think you should too.

Mistakes are just feedback, telling you to do it differently, to do it better. Think of them as sign posts to success rather than dead ends. Each mistake you make gets you closer to where you want to be.

Some things can be learnt from books, blogs and speeches but many of the big lessons in life can only be taught from one’s own struggle to find truth and get things done.  More often than not this involves screwing up.

Remember The School of Hard Knocks is a non-profit educational institute of The Real World and provides tough lessons that you will remember.

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Forget Multi-Tasking, Keep It Simple & Get It Done

“Our life is frittered away by detail… simplify, simplify.” - Henry David Thoreau

This is particularly appropriate for mere males like myself. We are incapable of focusing on more than one thing at a time. About the only time I multi-task with any degree of success is by sitting on the toilet and reading, hardly an achievement. I apologise for the mental image.

Ladies you are welcome to feel smug, however if you are working on something of any importance I would recommend giving it your undivided attention.

There is no big secret, if you want to get something done keep working on it until it is complete. Stay “in The Now” as Oprah’s home boy Eckhart Tolle would say, take regular study/work breaks and return to that single task until it is finished, then move onto your next goal.

If it is an overwhelming task break it down into parts, complete one part and continue with the next. Not always as simple as it sounds, but it is a lot more efficient than doing a little bit of part A, then a little bit of part B, back to part A before continuing with part C and so on.

The next thing is to make sure are being effective by doing the right things. If part C is not essential, don’t do it. Focus the effort that would have gone into it on completing part A to as high a standard as desired.

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Procrastination vs. Gestation

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” - George Carlin

There is a big gulf between procrastination and gestation (giving birth to your idea - thinking things through) that causes a lot of neglect and confusion. As a result taking the time to think through an idea can be viewed negatively.

Often this is with good reason. We can spend far too long procrastinating, weighing up the options, considering how things might go wrong and achieving nothing but a headache.

Gestation is taking the time to improve your idea - rather than thinking over all the ways your plan could go wrong, it is letting your ideas percolate and tick over in your mind.

There are several stages of gestation in my writing that can often be mistaken for procrastination. The initial idea for a blog post typically comes when I’m doing precious little, I might write a line or two, or create a dot pointed outline. From there the post may sit for weeks or months as I collect ideas and coming back to it to complete a draft with fresh thinking. It may then be a few days or weeks until I return to the work, look for errors, omissions and polish the writing.

I could push ahead and finish the same post within an hour or two of the initial idea, however it would rarely be as complete and well written.

Procrastination typically occurs for two different types of tasks. The incredibly dull and unappealing, which should be eliminated if possible, otherwise completed without delay. On the opposite end of the scale is the incredibly big and intimidating tasks, for these you have to divide it into manageable chunks, make a start and set deadlines to keep you motivated.

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I had well over 50 drafts in various stages of completion (from a few lines of notes, to dot pointed outlines and a few 600+ word drafts).

Basically it could have been as much as a years worth of blog posts. However something went horribly wrong!

No my hard drive did not crash losing all of it.

Instead I woke up and realised  that the vast majority of them were mediocre. The topics were boring or just incredibly generic and could already be found on thousands of other blogs.

That is not pushing myself as a writer. Worst of all its cheating you as a reader.

Only great writers and musicians can get by rehashing old favourites, presenting their early stories and doing covers. Even that gets old.

So I’m getting a little drastic. I deleted a whole bunch of drafts, about 15 or 20. Another 10 to 15 have joined forces to create a few super posts that you will see over the next few weeks.

I cant promise A+ material all of the time, I will do my best, some of the remaining drafts will be slipped in here and there. Beside sometimes the filler posts make you appreciate the ones that are truly killer. Ssometimes the good ideas just seem to vanish from my head and I need something on stand by.

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In other news I have recently ticked off one of my ultimate goals and made progress on a few others.

I got to meet Neil Strauss my favourite author who inspired me, more than any other writer, that maybe I can share my stories with the world.  It was his last book signing for Emergency before he returns to a hectic writing schedule. He has about three books in the works, plus others with the company he runs. Neil shared some great stories with the crowd, gave me some solid advice and

I also just finished reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand which was part 1 of a 2 part goal to read two of the greatest and most lengthy books in the English language. The other half is to read Ulysses by James Joyce. If I can tackle them both then I can read anything. I really enjoyed reading Atlas Shrugged, its an intimidating book, with a lot of characters and covers a lot of sensitive issues, but I would recommend it to everyone. There are a lot of haters of the underlying philosophy and message of Rand’s novel (I don’t agree with all of it) however I’m sure that those who rant about it failed to reach the end of the novel.

You can see the other progress in the updated Ultimate Goals page.

—

Many thanks for reading and sharing my journey so far.

Bill

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I am in the process of writing about a character who is somewhat of an outsider - someone who largely does not follow social conventions, the way we are expected to live our life.

It is fascinating to look at people and charecters who inhabit the fringes and extremes of socitey and the reactions they recive from others.

I would like to share three brief case studies of such people with you today, they have fascinated me and Im sure will capture your imagination as well.

While writing I couldn’t help but think of two outsider figures that I have enjoyed reading about and also reflecting upon what is largelly an Australian social phenomenon know as ‘tall poppy syndrome’ where we seek to criticise and topple the popular and succsesfull particuarlly after cheering their rise to the top.

The Stranger

The first is from Albert Camus “The Stranger” (also titled The Outsider), a character who quite unknowingly flouts a lot of societies unwritten rules and is ultimately sentenced to death because he holds true to his right to do so, expresses no remorse and fails to turns to god to repent, which could have set him free.

He lives completely in the present moment, with no thought of consequences or regrets. He experiences little emotion and lives a somewhat hedonistic lifestyle, living almost exclusively for his own pleasure.

Camus brief but brilliant work is one of my favourite novels, I have read it every year or two since my final year of high school. Each time I put myself in the position of Mersault, the main character, and question wether I would give up everything I believe in to escape the death penalty and I each time, after much deliberation I cant help but say no. Its a powerful novel.

Pausanias

The other that springs to mind is a historical figure, the Spartan leader Pausanias who I first read about in Robert Greene’s superb book The 48 Laws of Power. A Spartan general, Pausanias led the Greeks in claiming Persian land but was accused of adopting their life of luxury and pleasure over the Spartan way of discipline and simplicity.

Thucydides, an ancient Greek historian wrote of him: “By his contempt for the laws and his imitation of foreign way he made himself very widely suspected of being unwilling to abide by normal standards.”

Adopting foreign ways is perceived as superiority and contempt for tradition. The solution Green presents after explaining how and why Pausanias was killed for his superior way is  ‘Law 38 - Think as you like, but behave like others’.

“Many of us, like Pausanias, feel the siren call of the exotic, the foreign. Measure and moderate this desire. Flaunting your pleasure in alien ways of thinking and acting will reveal a different motive - to demonstrate your superiority over your fellows.” says Green.

The Tall Poppies

Tall Poppy Syndrome, it is where an ordinary person, an underdog (particularly in the sporting world), who we can all relate to is propelled to stardom by the nations support and interest only to be damned as they achieve fame and success, becoming an outsider.

The whole nation seemingly gets behind our upcoming sports stars, we adore them and cheer for them fervently.

As the underdog they are just like you and me, they drive a bad car, work hard to achieve their dream and seem honest and polite, maybe even a bit shy as they are unaccustomed to the limelight. They are just like you and me, we like that.

However, as we cheer them on their fortune improves. They make more money, trade in that old Toyota for a Ferrari and their confidence soars to levels that seem like arrogance.

Once we build these stars up we try to pull the rug out from underneath them, helping the poppies grown only to cut them down once they bloom. We criticise their greed and arrogance, we expect them to behave perfectly and damn them if they fail to meet those expectations that few of us could meet.

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As any self respecting sports fan is bound to do, during my youth I hunted down autographs from the star players that I revered whenever an opportunity arose.

Sorting through my library recently I found my old autograph book and postcards bundled together. Looking through them I was reminded of the thrill of the hunt for a star athletes  and realised the parallels with travel for me.

Two obvious similarities spring to mind:

Anticipation

The anticipation of a new travel destination is very similar to meeting an idol.

Sports stars, particularly to young impressionable minds often become large than life role models. You wonder if they will meet your expectations, the person you idolised may give you a cold shoulder, be rude and shatter your perfect image.

In just the same vain, how could that dream destination possibly live  up to the hyperbole. How could it be as idyllic, relaxing or scenic as it has been described by others and visualised in your own mind.

Discovery

Discovering a new sports star on the rise is akin to stumbling upon an untouched new destination not yet spoilt by the guidebook trail.

I watched sportsmen in the junior and state categories that were performing well and observed their rise to the top echelons of the sport. It gives you such a sense of connection between you and the player - almost akin to that of a parent who observes their child grow to meet their full potential.

There is a similar satisfaction again to finding that little piece of paradise unspoilt, whether a whole town or quaint little eatery with superb food and welcoming service.

Related Memories

One of my earliest memories as a die hard sports fan ironically was while on holidays with extended family, all sitting around the house we were renting cheering on the Australian Cricket Team as they played the West Indies in the Boxing Day Test (a big deal to many of my fellow Australians). In between breaks in each days play I would run outside with my cousins and pretend we were playing in the match on TV, imitating our heroes and the opposition.

I recall just a few years later climbing aboard the touring English Cricket Teams tour bus after they had finished the days game. One player kindly introduced me to the others around the bus before showing me the door as they drove off.

Even more unusual than the bus hijacking was being ushered into a car racing teams garage to meet the driver by his wife. The racer, a former world champion, was in a very bad mood after his team made a mistake that caused his car to breakdown. His wife quickly cheered him up and got him to sign my book and show me around his race car as it was being repaired for another race later in the day.

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There was a time when I believed the measure of success was a high income, big house and a great car  - but those views slowly changed.

Over the last few years I have realised that money, while useful, is not a true measure of success.

Banish  the Bling?

Expensive trappings  don’t mean much when your job consumes.

You may be unable to enjoy those things now due to excessive workloads, while high stress levels mean you may not live long enough to enjoy them in retirement. Higher incomes often come with high costs.

Big houses are only nice if you have wonderful people to share them with and nice cars cannot be enjoyed on the stressful, traffic congested, daily commute.

Don’t get me wrong, it is possible to achieve these material trappings of success without the unwelcome side-effects. However it is not within realistic reach for all of us, some will achieve it many will miss out.

Success Built to Last

I recently looked back on how much my views of success have changed while reading Success Built to Last. The tomes tagline ‘Creating a life the matters’ aptly sums up what this thought provoking book is about.

The authors, who interviewed hundreds of successful people (from Richard Branson to Nelson Mandela) in their research, present the following tenets to creating a life that matters:

• Meaning - to follow your passion and pay attention to what is important to you.
• Thought - develop unique and useful ways of thinking - accountable, audacious, passionate, realistic, optimistic
• Action - take action repeatedly. Don’t overanalyse, do it, learn from it and go again. 

Life Focus vs. Career Focus & The Balancing Act

“Making a life is as important as making a living. This is not an either-or decision … do both.” - Success Built to Last

We are increasingly trying to find meaning in our work, to solve our problems, create our identity, sense of self worth and to make us feel ’special’. While this is certainly possible for some, for many work is merely a means to an end, you trade your time in hours for money, simple as that. It is what I do at my day job, I get some job satisfaction from helping customers and giving great service but at the end of the day I’m in it for the money.

I think the true test of a fulfilling job is ‘would you do it for free?’ In the case of writing the unequivocal answer is yes. There is no hesitation, I write because I enjoy it immensely. I would not perform my day job for free day-in and day-out.

Life balance is not really a day to day equation, it is averaged out over months and years.  It has taken me a while to understand that.

If you are building a career or a business perhaps you need to put in 12+ hours a day now, but realise that is not sustainable and plan to bring time spent back to a reasonable number. You may also need to let your career slide for a while to focus on your health, your family or another passion.

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The majority of our formal education now seems to enforce this habit.

Society applauds researchers and writers who publish grand theories and hypothesise endlessly. Instead should we not be worshipping the practical people who they profile and research.

The school of hard knocks should serve as our primary education.

Theory has it’s place, don’t get me wrong, but only when the intention is there to apply it.

Learning for the sake of just gaining a giant bank of knowledge is useless - unless you plan on becoming a professional quiz show contestant.

I’m far from innocent in this caper. I have read books on building share and property portfolios, constructing my millions out of thin air. World tours have been planed, but never taken and much much more.

I think for many this can be true of the self improvement and get rich quick communities. A lot of people buy the books and attend the seminars not because they really want the result, but they want a quick pat on the back that they are taking action.

Learning achieves nothing and requires little effort - putting it to use is the hard part, however it gets results.

I’m off to put some learning into action, I’ve been reading and studying writing for years - need to keep putting it to use.

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Some say suicide is the easy way out. In a sense it is. For the person who commits suicide they decide they have had enough of the cruel world and end the pain once and for all, case closed.

But sadly things do not end there. One persons hardship and suffering becomes the painful burden for many.

The Transfer of Suffering

When someone commits suicide the suffering and pain from the individual committing suicide  is instead  transferred from that one person to everyone close to them.

Whole families and friends become wracked with guilt and many other negative emotions about the premature and unjust loss of someone they loved.

Some unfortunate people never get over this. Their lives are destroyed by an endless stream of questioning, blame and heartache. ‘What if…’ and ‘if only…’ questions haunt them for eternity. Everywhere they are reminded of their loss and feel the deep pangs of guilt. Loved ones blame themselves, or each other. 

To put it bluntly committing suicide is a heartless thing to do.

My Story

I came very close to committing suicide when I was very ill in my teens. During this period my life was pretty bleak: it certinally could have been a lot worse, but it was far from ideal.

At times the thought of committing suicide and escaping from the physical pain, emotional stress and endless depression was constantly on my mind for weeks on end. It was all consuming.

I had only the love of my family and the hope that things would improve in my life. At times I thought both of those were fading from my life as well. Doctors, psychiatrists and other ‘respected professionals’ severely questioned and in many cases verbally attacked me over the symptoms I was describing. None of them believed I was telling the truth, no one could tell me what was wrong with me.

My parents began to doubt that I was sick and even I began to think that I was lying to myself. How’s that for a blow to your mental health, when you no longer believe yourself.

Rock Bottom and Back Up

When you hit rock bottom there is nowhere else to go but up, the situation will stay at around that level or improve. Things can only get better.

My life was pretty much non-existent, but I still had hope that things could improve and dreams of what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I realised that just I was about to ‘borrow’ my dads car, drive to a tower in the middle of the night and jump off.

Not only did I realise that I still had so much to live for but I realised I could never put my family through that suffering. From that discovery it was a slow and steady road back to relative normality, in both body and mind.

The Problem

By the year 2020 the World Health Organisation predicts depression will be the second biggest cause of disability just behind heart disease.

Five percent of the US population have been diagnosed with a major depressive disorder - that’s almost 10 million people, who knows how many have not sought help and been formally diagnosed.

Here in Australia around 6 people a day commit suicide.

Again in America amongst people aged 15 to 24 suicide is 3rd highest cause of death.

The Solution

I really wish I had one.

A good start is simply to be kind to each other and pay attention to peoples moods. It is a rough world out there and we need to look out for one another.

For yourself, if you have problems then talk about them - talk to anyone who will listen patiently - whether they be your family, friends, strangers or professionals. 

You should realise that living is what life is about.

Accept that its perfectly natural to feel depressed at times, but things will get better. If they don’t, be patient and see a professional. Bad times teach you a lot and make you appreciate the good times much more.

All the best,

Bill

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A former journalist for Rolling Stone and the New York Times, Strauss had previously mastered the art of the ghost written bio and has now produced two superb books that take you into a whole new world, where the author drags you by the hand into the most intriguing subcultures.

His first such book, The Game, unearthed the world of Pick-up Artists and men overcoming their fear of women - while today’s topic for discussion, Emergency, deals with people afraid of a major event causing social collapse.

From the cringe worthy opening where Strauss shapes up to slaughter a goat we rewind to see how the author has come to see the world through what he terms ‘apocalypse eyes’: fearing terrorists, financial collapse, natural disasters and governmental hubris.

We rewind further, past the incompetency of the Bush administration to the authors childhood growing up on the 42nd floor amongst Chicagos concrete jungle-reliant solely on modern convenience. He like so many of us are far removed from the realities of where our food and amenities come from and how to trully survive not just without our parents but also away from the cocoon of modern life.

Strauss then takes stock and concludes his sole skill in the event of a true catastrophe would be to write about societies slide back into chaos. At a stretch he may be able to persuade someone with skills to help him, though he fears this may just paint a bigger target on his back.

So begins his quest into various subcultures who are preparing to survive and thrive if and when the shit hits the fan (WTSHTF).

Along the way Neil talks to billionaires and survivalists, cult leaders and doomsayers who offer a whole range of prescriptions from squireling his money away off shore and tying his holdings up in a confusing web of legal doublespeak  to collecting and purifying his own drinking water from nature and storing caches of emergency supplies around the country.

Slowly his mind changes, after going to extreme levels of preparation to escape most possible scenarios his fear begins to evaporate.

“Fear, it seems, is like fashion: it changes every season,” Neil writes. “And even though threats like terrorism persist to this day, we eventually grow bored of worrying about them and turn to something new. Ultimately, though, every fear has the same root: anxiety about thing we take for granted being taken away.”

Throughout the book he skilfully walks a fine line, informing and inspiring without becoming an alarmist and entertaining consipracy theories.

Without spoiling the ending, Neil transitions even further: from someone who seeks to flee from his fear and events that threaten him to someone who runs towards them.

His inredibly entertaining book is packed full of life lessons and wisdom - you may not care to know how to escape from hand cuffs though we cann learnt to banish our fears and embrace the future.

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What great book have you read recentley and would you like to see more book reviews on my blog?

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