Bingo Knows

My Lola

Sat, 16 Jul 2011 22:46:36 -0700

I'm not sure how to write this, or even if I'm qualified enough, but here goes. My lola, I don't have the vivid childhood memories that others have, I don't even have the "remember that time when..." moments that I can share. I was so far away, me here in LA all this time, while you were in the Philippines, sometimes in life we take it for granted, we convice ourselves that we have time, we never stop and slow down and make time for the important people in our lives. All the more reason as to why this past May became so precious to me, so valueable to me. I got to spend time with my lola, my Lelang. All the stories you told me while I was there were old and were stories the rest of the family had already heard, but you see to me it wasn't, it was all brand new! Your talks with me became stories, than the stories became tsismis, that turned into you giving me lectures on the bible, always trying to convert me......ahahaha I loved it! You were always asking if I was okay..., if I had eaten..., if I had enough sleep..., what I did the day before..., what my plans were that day..., I hate to admit it but deep down I am a "momma's boy", I lost my first grandmother in 1990, it sure felt good to have a grandmother again right there in front of me.

While in Philippines I saw how everyone loved you, how passionate everyone was towards you, how everyone was so eager to give you affection and respect, and I was so lucky to participate in it. Because Lola I realized that in you is the foundation, the architect, the matriarch, the root of a family tree that spreads its branches across the world, from Los Angeles, to Perth Australia, to London England. There were several times in the last couple of years that we thought we had lost you, that they said it would take a "miracle" if you recovered, I remember hurrying to renew my passport in the hopes of making it to your beside while you were still alive hoping it wasn't too late. Well miracles do happen, and you got better, and you got even more better and by the time I saw you in May you were able to climb up the stares to see where I was sleeping! Climb up the stares Lola?...WOW ang GALING!

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This past Thursday the news came, they said you suffered a massive stroke, that you could no longer walk, no longer talk, or open your eyes. I just feel so helpless right now, so powerless, I want so much to jump on a plane and put myself at your bedside, I want so much to be there with the rest of my family and share collectively what we are all going through. All that I have of yours are the pictures taken while I was there in May, the memories of that time and this worn out bimpo that you gave me on my last day there in the Philippines, I was sweating as ususal, when you noticed you gave me the bimpo so I could wipe the sweat from my head that day, I guess now I can use it to wipe the tears from my face. I thank God for every day, for every hour, for every minute I spent with you that month in May, I'm happy you waited for me lola. I know you're getting ready to leave this earth, please know that I'll always carry you in my mind, and in my heart.

I love you my lola, my lelang.

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