Essie Trojan used to be the biggest name in town. Who could be coming to take her place?

(That’s right… it’s a new comic! And a new character! With another new character on the horizon! Can you even believe it? Is it getting hot in here?)

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Clearly, I still haven’t really gotten over the Friends reunion. To be fair though, if any character deserves her own Chandler moment, it’s  Bertha Control. Could she BE more of an anti-Clockster? (“That’s not even a word!!”)

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Personally, I think today’s comic is kick-you-in-the-crotch-spit-on-your-neck fantastic. That’s right, friends – you’re in for a bunch of Friends-inspired content until I get it out of my system. I’m sorry/you’re welcome?

Anyway, today Clockie is in her “I told you so” comfort zone. Unfortunately, she’ll be there for you…

The post How you doin’? appeared first on Biological Clockie.

I keep waiting for some network to capitalize on the excitement for the Friends reunion. You know, just pick a side character (your Gunthers, your Janices, your Ugly Naked Guys) and run with it.

My entry in this nostalgia-fest is pictured in today’s new comic. Enter “This is Russ” – a heartfelt family drama in the style of everyone’s favorite time-jumping cryfest.

This one is also a deep cut dedicated to my fellow superfans. Haaaaaave you met Russ & Julie? Could they be any more ready for a debut at 8/9 Central?

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New comics will still be posted here (usually on Mondays) as well as on Instagram, Facebook & Twitter. The Instagram page features comics both new and from the archives. (You can always browse the archives here too, of course.)

Basically, we’re on all the things now. As Lisa Simpson might say, “Look at me! Grade me! Evaluate and rank me! I’m good, good, good and oh so smart!” Tell your friends (and your Friends too – can you tell I’m excited about the reunion?).

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So, I keep hearing about this pandemic wall. Are there people who haven’t hit a wall yet? Who are they? How does their programming work?  Are they androids?

I feel like I hit this metaphorical wall months* ago and have been stuck on it – or in it** – ever since.

Anyway, I hope you have a friend who can repeatedly pry you off the wall if you’re stuck too.

*Days? Weeks? Years? Time is a flat circle now, just like Matthew McConaughey predicted. Who had the “alright, alright, alright” guy from Dazed & Confused as unlikely pandemic prophet on their bingo card?

**Kind of like one of those unfortunate computer game protagonists who get stuck inside the wall due to a programming glitch, never to escape.

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There’s no logic in Biological Clockie. Honestly, you’d think they could have at least treated us as well as a carton of eggs & put an expiration date on our lower back or something. We can’t even rely on a standard measure since it’s different for everyone.

Also, fun fact for you: the word “woman” is just a contraction of “Whoa! Not a man!” It’s actually the first thing Adam said when he saw Eve for the first time. True story.

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Next time – Husband Hunters International?

Seriously though, I bet Clockie could program a whole network with her nonsense. Did I just come up with a new series of comics? You’ll just have to stay tuned to find out…

Also, is it too much to ask for a mature move-in ready bungalow with no commitment issues but lots of curb appeal? Not everyone is looking for a project. I… think I need to stop torturing this metaphor now.

The post Oh geez, TV appeared first on Biological Clockie.

So. Bridgerton. Are you watching? Or, more accurately, I suppose, are you binge watching?

If so, you can probably imagine how much Clockie would love a show that revolves around eligible young ladies searching for a husband. Honestly, Clockie would probably fit right in as a nineteenth century mother parading her charge around in hopes of locking down any suitor with a pulse.

Seriously though – who else is obsessed? Shonda Rhimes knows exactly what we need and exactly when to deliver it to us.

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I was digging through some older comics and found some of the ones involving video game characters. So, I figured why not feature another 8-bit icon. Sonic seemed like a good choice (but there was no chance I was drawing him with those weird teeth from the live-action version). In any event, I guess he’s not afraid of commitment -or, as we say in the biz – putting a ring on it.

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