Birmingham Mail - I Will Survive

NEW LIFE, NEW HOPE

2010-05-03T12:19:01Z

On the 16th February the joyous news that my son Jonathan and Jaimie had a baby son lifted my heart, yet another reason to live for and I couldn't wait till March when I was booked to fly out to Canada.

Nevertheless there was much to do before then. My friend Sandra and I, who both support each other with cancer, went to a Target Ovarian Course in Coventry. It is not my favourite city as I always seem to get lost there and today was no exception as I went round in circles thinking why do they call it the "historical city" of Coventry! Finally we found our destination and all too soon it was time to go home, but thick snow had fallen stealthily and silently and thus began a nightmare journey which instead of 30 minutes took 2 hrs 45 minutes with blinding snow, sheer ice, cars sliding and buses, cars and lorries abandoned. Why does snow cause England come to a standstill when other countries like Canada just keep moving! Finally was I glad to see the twinkling lights of my home and a welcome cup of tea to calm the shredded nerves.

The next day I was in my home town,Solihull for a meeting in the Mayor's Parlour to discuss the Mayor's Ball in March. A wonderful night where all the proceeds go Macmillan Cancer Support. I had been asked to give a talk on my journey with cancer
and how Macmillan had helped me. I felt really privileged to be able to sit in on the the meeting where they discussed the plans, strategies and hopes for the night. It took me back to my days at the BBC when I used to go to these meetings. A wave of nostalgia came over me for those wonderful days which I had enjoyed at the BBC for 37 years until cancer cut my career short.

My brief was for a 4 minute speech after the dinner and before the auction. How could I get all I want to say in 4 minutes and how on earth would I be able to eat my dinner or drink before my speech! But hey, I am a trooper all would be ok on the night, so I went home to prepare.

Talking of speeches, I booked Monica Price the writer of the play about 5 ladies with cancer which was produced at Solihull Arts Theatre to give a talk. She came to dinner and then came to our Solihull Cancer Support Group to discuss the play, exciting plans for moving it forward and to talk about nutrition. She was so knowlegeable and so many who attended said that no-one in the NHS has ever given them advice on what one should eat. We learnt so much and I think there should be a "Monica" in every hospital, as diet is so important whether you have cancer or not.

February might bring snow, but it also brings the one plant that to me signifies life - the snowdrop. When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2001 I planted snowdrops thinking "I'll never see them grow." 9 years on, the first snowdrop in my garden always fills me with hope and now they are multipying and there are bunches of them. The best place to see snowdrops is the Rococco Gardens in Painswick. John and I had stayed there with friends a few years ago, had a marvellous time and I put it on my "wish list" to go back when the snowdrops were in bloom. I was not disappointed; banks of snowdrops emerged from the barren cold earth of winter, signalling that Spring is just round the corner. Another goal I could tick off.

March arrived and I was at last on the plane to Canada to see my family. We flew over the icy, frozen wastelands of Northern Canada with their frozen rivers.Thank goodness I had packed my boots, warm jumpers and sheepskin. I travelled with Air Canada which was top class, great films, good food, plenty of legroom and smiling air hostesses. Some other airlines could learn a thing or two from them. All too soon we landed and I met my grandson Jake for the first time.

When I arrived Jonathan and Jaimie were exhausted (it is amazing how one little person can so dramatically change your life) and so it was my pleasure to look after them for a week and take away the household chores, so Jaimie, who is such a natural mother, could have more time with her baby.

What a joy to be able to feed, change and bath your grandson. I last did it is a Mom 35 years ago, so I guess Jake soon realised that he was in the hands of a complete amateur!

The weather was glorious, very warm and sunny and everyone seemed to be in shorts and sunglasses, except for me in my boots and woolly jumpers, but what a bonus.

Jaimie took me to have a pedicure and manicure and how different the experience is to England. We sat in these large chairs which massaged virtually every part of our backs, with our feet in this soothing footbath and then, a beautician - they all came from Vietnam, gave us the most wonderful pedicure - absolute bliss. I think they should have the same chairs in England and I told my beautician so when I came home.

All too soon my special week was nearly over, but not quite! On the last afternoon I had gained enough confidence from the friendly black squirrel in the garden to feed from my hand. Sadly however, he bit my hand when greedily eating his nut! I thought nothing of it as I washed my bleeding throbbing finger under the tap. Jonathan was strangely alarmed and said I must go to the doctors. In Canada. It is a great walk- in system, no waiting on the phone for ages to get through to a receptionist.

The doctor put the fear of God in me when he said " Squirrels in Canada carry rabies you must ring the Ottawa Health Care straight away for advice and bathe the wound for at least 5 minutes." "What are the symptoms of rabies?" I weakly asked. "They don't start immediatley, but you will foam at the mouth, feel very thirsty and will not be able to bear being near water" he explained. I went home feeling decidedly peculiar and in my haste to get to the phone fell up 2 stairs and thumped my knees and elbow. Ottawa Health Care cheerily confirmed that their squirrels do carry rabies but there had been no deaths this year - it's only March, could I be the first? I was told I must go to the local hospital for treatment. I had been fighting cancer for 9 years so I decided a pesky squirrel was not going to get the better of me, so I treated the wound with tea tree oil, which I always carry with me, and thought I would worry about it when I got home to England.

I cried when my son dropped me off at the airport, because I knew I was due to start chemo again in April, so I wouldn't be able to see Jake for at least another 8 months. He had already stolen a little bit of my heart, but I flew home thinking how lucky I was to have shared this special week and the been part of a new little life, who I knew, would bring so much pleasure.

THE WAITING GAME

2010-03-23T21:29:54Z

At the beginning of January I had a scan to check on my cancer. I was also told I would have to have a stomach operation in February and my oncolgist had hinted that I would be starting chemo again in the Spring - not the most fun way to start to the New Year. The worst part was waiting for someone to ring me to let me know what was happening
and when. An appointment was made with my oncologist for the 5th February so all would be revealed. Then it was cancelled and I continued to play the worrying waiting game which in turn led to stress.

My son Jonathan and his partner Jaimie were due to have a baby in February.... how could I get to Canada to see my new grandchild if I had to have an operation followed by 6 months of chemo? I made many phone calls and eventually my oncologist rang to say the cancer in my lymph nodes was growing and confirmed I would start chemo in the late Spring. Obviously it was not the news I wanted to hear, but then my surgeon made contact and at last I had all the answers. He felt the operation before chemo would not be a good idea and preferred to do it after. This was the most wonderful news as it gave me a window to go to Canada, so without delay, I booked my flight - I felt better already!!

Jonathan and Jaimie

I gave a talk to medical students about my experience with cancer and I told them never to destroy the hope of your patients, as this is all we have. I should also have told them how leaving patients waiting weeks for results was inhuman!

I had cheered up immensely and the joy of my grandchildren and friends and the support and love of my lovely husband help me through these rough patches.

Talking of friends, 6 of us who share yoga sessions at my house, went for a belated Xmas treat to The Bluebell in Henley-in-Arden for afternoon tea. Think the Ritz in London but on not such a grand scale! We had champagne, finger-sized sandwiches, a variety of cakes and warm scones and clotted cream washed down with fine English tea in front of a log fire. It was such a lovely experience and one that must be repeated.

Valentine weekend arrived and John and I were going with our friends Yvonne and Tony to a Murder Mystery Night in Arley Hall, Cheshire. 10 years ago I went to a Xmas carol service and dinner at a Hall somewhere up North and we could never remember the name. I had a gut feeling that Arley Hall could be the place. When we arrived it looked very familiar but the dining room was different and John was convinced we had never been there before. We had a really great night with actors giving us tantalising clues as to "Who, why and how the murder had taken place." A bit like cluedo really only more fun. The mystery was solved and the evening was over, but I still had my own mystery to solve. I went to ask one of the staff if they had another dining room and did they have a panelled library where where I might have sung carols with Neil and Christine Hamilton one Xmas. Indeed they had and a very kind man took me to see them. At last my 10 year mystery was solved, Arley Hall was the place and my gut feeling was right!

I had always wanted to go across the Mersey to Liverpool so this is what we did for Valentine's Day. Sadly the rain was lashing down, everything was grey and depressing and Liverpool seemed least like the capital of culture to me.

I couldn't wait to catch the ferry back and John and I went to Port Sunlight in Cheshire. Lord Leverhulme had built the Sunlight Soap Works there in 1888 and then proceeded to create a beautiful village for his workers to live in, complete with swimming pool, library, recreation facilities and lovely houses with bathrooms - a true luxury in the late 19thC! We were staying in the Leverhulme Hotel which was once the old hospital. It felt very strange sharing our Valentine Dinner in the restaurant that was once the hospital ward where Matron ruled supreme and cleaniless was of utmost importance, I think she should definitely come back to our hospitals.

We had a wonderful experience there.The village was reminiscent of Bournville in Birmingham where George Cadbury also built a beautiful place for his workers to live whilst working at Cadbury's factory. Lady Leverhulme's Art Gallery had priceless original paintings displayed and the museum told the fascinating history of how the village was created.

Dusk was falling when we left Port Sunlight for home, but what a wonderful Valentine Weekend we had experienced and I realised that I never once gave a thought to the impending chemo and that is why I always live my life to the full.

WELCOME TO THE NEW YEAR

2010-03-22T22:21:38Z

2009 was a very good year for me and despite the fact that Professor Poole, my oncologist says I will have to start chemo again in the Spring, I am optimistic that 2010 will bring happiness and opportunities, if not a few challenges my way.

John and I welcomed in the New Year with our friends Jean and Ray in Llandudno at a great dinner dance.

Our friends Carol, Val, Jean and Ray

The next day despite copious champagne we awoke ready to tackle a walk around the Great Orme. Llandudno basked in brilliant sunshine, but the Snowdonia range was covered in snow. We had our photo taken in front of an old cannon that has stood on the Great Orme for a long time pointing across the sea towards Snowdonia. Sadly it no longer stands outside The Rest and Be Thankful Tearooms. Unbelievably, it was it was stolen a couple of weeks later. Maybe my photo was the last one ever taken of the cannon. It is beyond my comprehension that anyone could deprive the good people of Wales of such a monument, but I do hope they find it and restore it to it's rightful resting place.

John and I came home to find Solihull gripped in thick snow and very late one night I looked out of our window to see 2 perfect hearts in the snow.I am so pleased I took a photo because the next day they had disappeared beneath a fresh snowfall and I was probably the only one to see them.

I also came home to have a scan at the small, friendly Hospital of St.Cross in Rugby. What a difference to the large impersonal hospitals who treat you like a number instead of a person. I always say a prayer as I go through the scanner and now the long wait for the results starts. Once I used to really get anxious during the wait, now I just get on with my life.

One of my New Year resolutions was to get fit, along with a few other thousands of people who probably made the same one. My friend, Sandra had arranged for me to have a trial day at her local Sports Club, so what better time to start. I had a lovely morning swimming, testing out the gym and the sauna. At the end when the Management came to discuss me joining their club, I was amazed when they said they had never heard of my friend. In horror I realised that there are 2 David Lloyds and I was at the wrong one. Never mind I had enjoyed my day there & I could now go and try the right one next!

January and February are never good months for me, something always sad or bad seems to happen and I always heave a sigh of relief when March arrives. This year was no exception, 2 dear friends died. The first, Val O'Hare had valiantly tried to fight ovarian cancer for 5 years She still held her yoga and salsa classes whilst going through gruelling chemo, but sadly even her strong spirit and sense of fun couldn't save her, but she is one of the many inspirational people I have met on my journey with cancer who I won't forget. Even on this photo last year when she was ill, her joy of life seems to shine through.

Val is standing in the middle

2 weeks later I was at my friend Rex's funeral. A month earlier, to the day, we had celebrated his 90th birthday and after such a happy day who would have believed it. I was asked to give his eulogy and I always consider this to be such an honour. I researched his history and realised that despite nearly 30 years of friendship, there was so much I didn't know about this quiet modest man, including his career in the R.A.F. during the war years.

Rex's 90th Birthday

I cheered myself up with a new haircut, and the first time in 9 years since I lost my hair 3 times to chemo, I have found a hairdresser in Knowle who really understands my hair. It had grown back so thin and fine, but In her skilful hands it looked stylish, full bodied and healthy. Even my husband noticed and said how good my hair looked. The sad thing is that if I start chemo in April, I will lose it again just when I found someone who has got it right. Oh well, I'll just have to enjoy it while I can.

My friend Debbie and I took my 2 grandchildren Ben and Nicky to see The Snowman at the Birmingham Repertory Theatre. It was magical and to see the wonderment in my grandchildrens' eyes as the Snowman and the boy fly across the night sky and to see their excitement as the snow cascades in the auditorium at the end, made me realise that for every sad event we experience, a joyous one is just waiting for us around the corner.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO 2009?

2010-02-23T20:50:47Z

This is the first time I have actually had time to sit down to write my blog and to my horror my last entry was November 2009! Whatever has happened to cause this and is anyone still out there to read it?

The truth is living my life to the full is the reason for my absence, but I truly hope that you haven't given up on me because I am determined to keep up my blog in 2010 in the hope that it will inspire other cancer patients to also enjoy their lives to the full and to learn to cope and overcome the many fears and disappointments that may come their way.

When I last wrote to you I was waiting for the results of an operation to remove a breast lump. Despite various phone calls chasing for answers, it was a month of worry before I finally received a letter to say the lump was not cancerous. How can they do this to us? I am sure I am not alone in saying that the worry of waiting for results for so long is dreadful and inhuman.

My way of coping is to keep busy - sometimes too busy! John and I went to Ironbridge where I watched a lady making beautiful celebration plates at the Coalport Museum. I took her name because my son Jonathan and Jaimie in Canada were having a baby this February and what a lovely present to give. The history of Ironbridge is amazing, the scenery beautiful and I learn something new each time I go.

Inbetween giving various talks which keep me busy, I took John to Anglesey for his surprise birthday treat. We stayed in a bedroom which had been occupied the week before by Laurence Llewelyn Bowen. It was in a wonderful old rectory, the food was superb and we gazed at the Snowdonia range from our bedroom window - Perfect!
We walked through the forest to the beautiful Newborough Beach and as we walked barefoot through the sand in the October sunshine I thought how lucky I am to be alive
and how much more of the British Isles I want to explore.

Life was busy with grandchildren, visits from friends and family especially my friend Ann from America who was diagnosed with MS the same year as my diagnosis with cancer(2001). She too is living a rich and fulfilling life and refuses to let her disease get the better of her. Two stubborn old birds together trying to beat the odds!

The run up to Xmas was full of excitement. The Local Heroes award was held at the Novatel Hotel in Birmingham and I was lucky enough to be part of the Macmillan Team that was presented with an award. What an honour and what a coincidence that Adrian Goldberg presented the award. As I shook his hand I whispered "I negotiated your fee when you first joined the BBC" he whispered back "Yes I remember." It certainly is a small world!

My friend Debbie and I went to London which is always exciting at Xmas time. It was her birthday treat to me - a lunchtime trip on the River Thames.We went to see "Oliver," marvelled at the Marharajas' exhibition at the V & A Museum and enjoyed an excellent meal on the river. As we sailed past the Houses of Parliament I remembered the time I went there earlier in the year to support The Eve Appeal Event for ovarian cancer.We are all fighting to make women and doctors more aware of the symptoms so early diagnosis can save so many lives that are now lost.

Debs and I laugh together and love doing the same things but all too soon our special time together is over and we catch our trains to go in different directions, but we take with us such happy memories.How valuable true friends are.

Dotted between the many carol services and nativity plays I had one more speech to give just before Xmas and to my amazement it was held in the loading bay of Sainsbury's in Acocks Green. This certainly was a challenge with the tannoy going and trucks being
pushed past, but it's all good experience and I love a challenge. I managed to get my message across about the valuable work Macmillan does for us and was rewarded with a very warm reception and a lovely bouquet of flowers.

When I went to do some shopping in the store I asked if I could put my flowers on the customer services counter.While shopping I noticed an old gentleman in a mobility wheelchair with a bouquet of flowers that looked strangely identical to mine. When I came to pay and pick up my flowers they had gone and at the next counter was the man clutching what I knew was my bouquet. The checkout lady realised the mistake and was trying to get them off him while he was resolutely determined to hold on to them at all costs. When I went across and said that I had been presented with them and I think he had picked them up in error he finally begrudgingly,relinquished the now wilting flowers with a few choice words. Victorious I made a very hasty exit - another fun day!

Sadly the week deteriorated as twice in one week I had to go to Coventry Hospital to have a barium enema and then a scan. I was then told by my oncologist that the cancer in my lymph nodes was growing and that I would need chemo in the spring.Not the best Xmas present I could have wished for but I have been lucky that I have not had chemo for 3 years and believe you me I have valued every minute and have not wasted a moment living life to the full and experiencing new adventures and challenges.

During the busy frenetic shopping and build up to Xmas my friend Sandra and I escaped to the peace and wonderful healing atmosphere of The Penny Brohn Cancer Care Centre in Bristol. They were just putting up their Xmas tree when we arrived and again the staff worked their magic in helping recharge our bodies ready for the festive season.

Xmas was a happy time shared with family and friends.My son Jonathan and Jaimie came over from Canada. Despite British Airways strikes causing much worry and uncertainty they made it. The next time I see them they will have their baby and I will have another little grandchild to live for.

ANOTHER BIRTHDAY - ANOTHER CELEBRATION

2009-11-30T13:23:09Z

I never moan when another birthday arrives - I celebrate! Each birthday proves that the medical profession don't always know how long someone has when diagnosed with cancer. Certainly after being given just a year to live in 2001, to have enjoyed a further 8 great birthdays has been a real bonus.

In my last blog I said "How do I follow the excitement of the play?" Well the next day was my birthday and John took me up to Yorkshire to see Bolton Abbey.

As a surprise we stayed at a lovely small Georgian House in Harrogate overlooking "The Stray" which was a large area of grassland and trees. I thought it was called that because they allowed animals to stray and graze !!

Harrogate is such an elegant English town and no one can leave without having tea at "Betty's".

Sadly we lingered there too long so when we headed off for Castle Howard, which has been on my wish list to see for years, we arrived in the pouring rain 10 minutes too late. The house was closed and no amount of charm could persaude the lady in the kiosk to let us in. All those years and all that way from the Midlands and we were too late! I obviously showed my disappointment as we dejectedly sat drinking another pot of tea in the deserted cafe in the gloom. When we got in the car to go home, John suggested staying somewhere another night and going to see it tomorrow. I immediately brightened up - my Hero!! We found a great little place and the next morning the sun was shining and we finally managed to see the magnificent Castle Howard. As we drove home I thought that was a very special happy birthday, I look forward to the next one !!

The party was over and I had 4 talks to give over 3 weeks so down to work again. The first was at the Macmillan Coffee morning at the SIMTR Conference Centre in Solihull.
It was packed and I saw many faces that I recognised from previous talks. Spreading the word of hope is what I love to do. We raised well over ÃÂ£500 for this wonderful worthy cause.

It kept my mind off the following week when I went to have a lump removed from my breast at the University Hospital Coventry. It is getting very bad ratings as reported in the newspapers today, but I have had wonderful service there - no complaints. I had a local anaesthetic and I asked so many questions and joked throughout that the surgeon probably wished he'd given me a general!
.

I went home the same day and carried on with my busy life, even doing yoga 2 days later. Not a good idea! I became so tired and the nurse said that I should have listened to my body, it needed to rest to recover. I think my spirit is far stronger than my body and slowing down is not on the agenda, but I know she was right.

A few days later we drove down to Brighton and I was excited to meet up with my son Jonathan who had come over from Canada for just 3 days for a wedding. It was pouring with rain and Brighton Marina was a pretty depressing concrete experience. Three hours after arriving we went back to the car park to discover that someone had bumped the side of Jonathan's hire car and guess what - left no note! What a welcome back to England I felt so sorry for him.

"A very friendly couple we met on our travels!"

Back home I had another talk to give, at a school in Erdington, to thank them for raising money for Macmillan. What I didn't know was that the children had been sent there from main school due to disruptive behaviour. The teacher explained that they came from violent and abusive backgrounds,some had alcoholic or drug addict parents. They also had a low attention span and she warned me that they could throw things. I decided in the light of this information to abandon my speech I had writen the night before and just go for it! I told them about my adventures and experiences and asked if anyone knew what a Macmillan Nurse did. A young gir of about 13 years said "They help you on your cancer journey." I was amazed, I couldn't have put it better myself. After 20 minutes they were all sitting in complete silence and so I thought I had better finish while I was ahead. I have to say, the applause those children gave me meant more to me than any other speech I have ever given. Afterwards the head teacher said they enjoyed it because I told a story and took them to places they will never in their wildest dreams ever visit. Another very humbling but worthwhile experience and I hope those young people go on to make something of their broken lives.

A week later I am off to the hospital again to hear the results of my operation. I drove 25 miles only to discover that they hadn't got them yet! I wonder why they don't let you know to save you the unecessary stress and strain, not to mention the mileage?

Two days later I gave a talk at Hogarth's Hotel for the Ladies' Inner Wheel. I love Hogarth's but I found it very distracting trying to compete with the generator - all character building I thought. A lady came across to me and said "Were you Angela Freeman? (my maiden name). I knew immediately who she was - Pam Young, the BBC Controller's secretary from when we both worked at the BBC in Carpenter Road, Edgbaston 40 odd years ago. It was wonderful to see her after all these years. Good job I always speak the truth in my talks, you never know who you might meet from your past!

THE CANCER PLAY AND BEYOND

2009-11-08T16:05:04Z

September and October have proved to be the busiest and most fulfilling months of 2009.
I returned home after my talk for Macmillan at Warwick to find John entertaining his 3 year old grandson Harry with his electric guitar. So with Harry on maracas and me on tambourine we had a "musical" evening together. Although it was probably not everyone's idea of "music" we had great fun.

The next day I had a real musical treat at Martin St. James School in Malvern. I love driving to Malvern, the hills always look so majestic and the school is a wonderful victorian building - once a hotel I believe. The girls were practising the songs for the play I have been involved with, which was being performed the following week.

"Survivorship to Cancer and Beyond" tells the story of 5 women with different cancers. Each story has a musical theme and for my story of ovarian cancer it was Elgar's "The Rapid Stream" which I had never heard before.The main theme tune which has been specially written by the playwright Monica Price is called "Survive." When the choir sang it we were all so moved there wasn't a dry eye in the room. I always call my talks "I Will Survive" so I could really relate to the words. What a privilege to be a pupil at this special school with such an obvious love of music and what a privilege for me to be part of this play.

I drove home through the sunshine with my heart lifted. I stopped at the little church in Callow End near Malvern, to put flowers on the grave of my friend Toni who died at 36 from cancer. We worked at the BBC together and were great friends. She supported me when I was diagnosed, so to lose her to this disease so young was tragic. Her last wish was to be able to attend my 5 year celebration party and amazingly by sheer willpower, she did, only to die 3 days later. I was asked to give her Eulogy - a first for me and what an honour. It was nerve wracking in front of all my BBC colleagues, but as with all my speeches because it comes from the heart, my nervousness disappeared and the applause told me that I had done Toni proud. Here I was a few years later paying my tribute to her again in a beautiful English churchyard. She loved ballet, so I am going to take her young daughter, Freya to see "The Nutcracker" for the first time. I think she will love it.

The week of the play was completely manic, our friends Ann and Robert from America came to stay with us and celebrate her birthday, I went to London for a Macmillan Trainees' Conference and I have my script to learn - all three lines of it!!

Ann,Robert and Friend!

On the day of the first performance there were photo shoots,interviews and I finally met Hannah Waterman and the othere actresses. Her first words to me were "How's John?" I was puzzled, how did she know John was my husband. When I listened to the rehearsal, I realised that he features largely through the script and as she was playing "me" John was her husband too!

I had a dressing room with my star on the door - what a thrill. I had always wanted to act from a young girl. At 17, my drama teacher had arranged an audition for me at a drama college in London. My parents were horrified and refused to let me go, so 48 years later here I was about to "tread the boards." Everything come to she who waits, I thought. I shared the dressing room with a lovely lady called Pam who also had ovarian cancer but looked amazing and we enjoyed 2 special days together.

The first night was a great success and I was on a high, but the next day found me at 9am sitting outside Professor Poole's office in Coventry Hospital waiting nervously for the results of my scan. Please let it be good news I thought, I have 2 more perfomances to give today." What a Diva I am!" The bad news is that my cancerous lymph nodes are growing, the good news is he still doesn't feel that I need to have chemo just yet. We drove home just in time for "my matinee performance." I might have a very small part, but I am going to give it my all. The actresses were amazing and gave such moving performances which were touched with humour. They got better each performance and Hannah was magnificent on the last night. I had left a note in her dressing room saying that I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to play "me" which she said really touched her.

The cast with playwright Monica Price

John had proudly sat through the perfomances, with my friends and son Justin. On the last night when Hannah says "I was given a year to live, but 8 wonderful life giving years on I am still here surviving this thing they call the "silent killer" - but it won't silence me," a man in the audience shouted "WOW!" I wanted to jump up and say "It's me and despite being given little hope you can survive cancer." Of course I didn't, but the play gave such a powerful message of hope and the audience gave everyone a standing ovation. We had a great party afterwards and when I went home I thought "How do you follow that?"

Hannah, Finn Atkins and me(The make-up artist seems to have overdone my blusher!)

The 7 Year Itch Wedding Anniversary

2009-10-21T11:08:03Z

I came back from Canada with great memories and jet lag! I no sooner got back home when I was whisked away to London to celebrate 7 years of marriage. John was a very brave man to take me on as he asked me shortly after I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and given such a short time to live. He proposed while I was going through chemo and had lost all my hair so I said "No, ask me again when I have some hair" - I really didn't fancy being a bald bride! Luckily he did and despite major surgery 6 weeks earlier, we had a most wonderful wedding day surrounded by all the friends and family who had supported us during those early black days of cancer. That is why every anniversary is a celebration to us and I am not sure that I would still be here today without John's love and support.
We stayed at the Rubens Hotel and they upgraded us to the Royal Suite which was very grand, with a large wooden carving of The Prince of Wales' feathers in the corner and a large portrait of Edward V11th himself gazing down at us. Just as well that I am a true Royalist.

We went to see the play "War Horse" which was about the terrible experiences of the horses in World War 1. I knew it would be heart wrenching and I would be reduced to tears - which I was, but it was the most amazing piece of theatre I have ever seen and the mechanical horses, each controlled by 3 actors became real. I read in the newspaper that the Queen and Prince Philip went to see the play this week and they too could not fail to have been moved by it.

The next day it was sunny and warm and we continued our "Royal theme" by visiting the Royal Mews where those horses were the lucky ones. We became real tourists watching the guards at Buckingham Palace, visiting Clarence House which had such a
warm feel about it.

Finally before we had to catch the train home, we sat on the grass with an ice cream in St. James Park, listening to the brass band playing on the band stand. It was a perfect end to a lovely anniversary.

Bank Holiday saw us at a very different castle - Goodrich Castle, Gloucestershire, where we went with John's daughter in law Louise from America and her parents Jo and Phil. There was a happy band of actors dressed in medieval costumes who were re enacting jousting competitions and archery contests. The children could also dress up and join in and Alexander, our grandson, had a great day and so did the grown ups.

As everyone knows, I always try to live every day to the full and make the most of life - you see I've had the wake-up call! However after all this fun, I am brought down to earth with a bump when the next day I was on my way to a Rugby hospital, miles away from home, to have a CT scan. Thank goodness for Tom Tom! How did we ever find our destinations before it came into our lives? It has also probably saved a few marriages and I am the first to admit that my navigational skills with a map leave much to be desired!
We managed to get home in time for a visit from Jaimie who had come over from Canada to see her family. We had tea and cakes and laughed about the adventures we had shared - was it really only the week before that I came back to England?
Two days later I am now at Coventry Hospital to see a Mr Parker about the lump in my breast. The service I received was marvellous. After making a date for the operation to remove the lump, I was sent for a mammogram and ultra sound to check if it could have been cancerous. Without the histology report after the operation they cannot be completely sure, but today all the tests look absolutely fine. What a wonderful relief, but I am not finished yet as I have to go for my appointment with Professor Poole, my oncologist at the same hospital. I feel really sorry for John having to wait around hospital waiting rooms, but I know I am lucky to have his support and he can catch up on the newspapers and crossword! It must be my lucky day, my scan is clear, Professor Poole seems to be happy with me and is determined to get to the bottom of why I have been experiencing pains in my abdomen. I know I am in good hands, even though he winks at John as I enthusiastically tell him about the play I am in and that Hannah Waterman is telling my story.

I am also happy that it had been a successful visit as I have a big conference speech for Macmillan tomorrow complete with power point which is a first for me. It would have been hard to do if I had bad news, but the next morning I drive through the sunny country lanes to Warwick and tell the Macmillan professionals about my journey with cancer and how Macmillan have helped me on that journey. I also tell them about the cancer play and hurray, it is met with great enthusiasm and many of the nurses want to come to see it. I can't wait to start rehearsals next week. To say I am excited about it is a complete understatement and the message it will give to people is so powerful.

RETURN TO CANADA

2009-10-01T09:25:31Z

John and I went to Canada for Xmas when thick snow covered the landscape and your fingers froze if you dared to take them out of your gloves. Now I was going to see Canada in the summer and after such a hectic year I was looking forward to just chilling out with my son Jonathan and Jaimie.

The day before my flight I attended the funeral of a friend Sue, who had died tragically young of bowel cancer leaving two children barely twenty. It was held at the lovely St. Alphage Church. Solihull and my heart went out to the Hannah and James looking so slight and alone in the pew. Then suddenly James leapt up and went to the front of the altar where suddenly the most amazing piano music filled the church. He had written a piece for his Mother and as the music soared to the rafters, we sat in total awe and amazement at James' wonderful tribute to his Mother, how proud she would have been.

The next day I was standing nervously in the queue to book in for my flight. Had I too much weight? Would they confiscate my bottles? Had I left my fruit knife in my case as I had accidently done last time almost causing a national incident? Would I bleep going through security despite my shoes and all my worldly possessions travelling through in a grey plastic tray separately? Air travel since 9/11 has become a nightmare, but finally I collapsed exhausted in my seat ready to enjoy a relaxing flight. 7 hours later I was being welcomed at the airport by my Son.

Canada is beautiful in the summer and everyone seems so much more relaxed than in England and I never saw a policeman. For the first time I saw the boardwalks round Lake Ontario where people walked, skate boarded and cycled. The beaches were clean and sandy and the beautiful people played volley ball and swam. We walked there most days and went to the Scarborough Buffs (so many English names) where prehistoric cliffs majestically fringe the beach.

Niagara Falls is a must, so off we went on a long journey as I took in the landscape amazed at the number of vineyards we passed. Finally we arrived at what looked like Blackpool. The main drag is very tacky, but nothing can take away the magnificence of the falls. After queuing we finally donned our very fashionable blue plastic macs and climbed on board the"Maid of the Mist" and headed out on the Niagara River to the very heart of the falls, passing the much smaller Swallow Falls on the American side. Only here can you experience the sheer force, power and awesome sound of this wonder of nature.

I had no idea that the Niagara River divides Canada and the USA, but Buffalo is just across the bridge that spans the canyon with the flags of Canada and the USA flying side by side. On our next port of call at a Butterfly Farm I discovered that most only live for a couple of weeks which seems quite tragic to me.

Most species in the world were housed in this great butterfly paradise where they would land on you for a brief moment before flying to the nearest nectar filled flower.

Jonathan and Jaimie are having a baby in February, so we went house hunting which I loved. Every house had a large basement and a veranda. Why don't we have a basement in English houses, it is such a great idea to utilise more space. My cosy bedroom was in the basement and every day I felt like a mole emerging as I climbed up the stairs to see what the weather was like today.

Jaimie took me to her yoga class. I had been doing yoga for years so this would be a piece of cake, I'll show them what we English are made of! This Yoga was so strenuous, the exercises so powerful that I realised I wasn't quite the expert I thought I was as I toppled over trying to do the tree balance. Luckily for me there was an incredible storm with thunder and lighting like I have never seen before. People were screaming in the street whilst desperately trying to find shelter from the torrential rain. This distraction meant that the lovely yoga teacher didn't see some of my less than perfect yoga poses. The storm was over when we left the Yoga class and the night was beautiful and warm again as Jaimie and I walked home and I plunged into a hot bath to soothe my aching limbs.

The next day we caught the tram to Toronto City where all different cultures and nationalities seem to live in harmony together. I went Downtown, where in the winter people don't need to face the bitter cold as there is this fascinating underground world of shops, restaurants and offices. I felt a bit like a mole again!

All too soon, it is time to say fond and sad farewells after a truly wonderful stay in Canada. I understand why Jaimie and Jonathan love it and I look forward to returning in February to see my new little grandchild. Nevertheless it is still hard to leave not knowing when you will see your loved ones again. So I take with me my memories and can't wait to tell John of my adventures when he meets me at the airport back in England.

SOME THINGS IN LIFE NEVER CHANGE

2009-08-16T15:13:49Z

I still have my lump despite 3 lots of antibiotics and have had a constant headache for 8 weeks. My doctor says" we can't be too sure with your history so we will arrange a brain scan." I know they are right but I do get so weary of hospitals, but I have to say that the waiting time for tests have improved dramatically since I was first diagnosed with cancer. I know people are very quick to complain about the NHS but I am getting superb treatment now.

Luckily I am too busy to worry about these things for too long and I was privileged to be invited to the Eve Appeal Meeting at The House of Lords. They raise funds for research into the early detection, prevention and treatment of ovarian cancer.
I remembered my visit to No. 10 Downing Street in 2004 when a little group of us presented a petition for mass screening for ovarian cancer and were told there was no money. Perhaps the Eve Appeal might make this a reality and how many lives that would save. We had a wonderful day at The House of Lords with lunch on the terrace overlooking The Thames and we met so many interesting and courageous people, Including my friend Monica Price, who is writing the play I mentioned sometime ago. It movingly tells the stories of 5 ladies with cancer. This is being performed at the Solihull Arts Theatre in September - another date for my diary. As John and I caught the train home we thought what a great experience!

Monica and I

The next day John's family came to stay from America, his son Mike, wife Louise and grandson Alexander were joined by John's other son Richard and family and we celebrated Mike's birthday with a picnic in Brueton Park, Solihull and a jolly evening with a Chinese takeaway on the night. We then went on to Llandudno with Richard, Antonia and their boys. It is a very Victorian town and after building a castle on the sands, the children rode donkeys on the beach, watched a Punch and Judy Show and went on a little train that went from the North Shore to the West Shore. We took the Victorian tram to the top of The Great Orme and ventured down the copper mine. Very similar to the childhood holidays we remembered. It is so good that some things in life never change.

We came home to go to the theatre at Malvern with our friends Margaret and David. It was her 65th birthday and we were spellbound by the brilliance of the performers of Le Grand Cirque. She rounded off her birthday week with a lunchtime party for friends at the Howards Arms, Ilmington.

65 sounds so old and yet none of our friends are the least bit old, they are still enjoying life to the full and having so many adventures. Maybe this is what keeps you young - a zest for life.

Yesterday was a busy one, Coventry Hospital for a brain scan at 9am back home for an eye appointment and back to Coventry Hospital to see my Professor Poole in the afternoon. In between I had to make a very quick visit to Melbick's Garden Centre where an assistant was feeding a parrot by the name of George. She was lovingly tickling his neck and he seemed in ecstasy. When she went I thought I would do the same. As I went to stroke him, he bit my finger and trapped it in a vicelike grip. Blood was dripping into his cage and onto the floor as I shouted for help. As I managed to prise my finger from George I noticed the sign above his cage "I BITE" bit late now I thought as I heard them urgently paging for first aid. Gemma arrived with alcoholic swabs and plasters to tend to my bleeding wounds and I had to fill in a form. So much for my quick 5 minute visit I thought as I left with my bruised finger and pride.

Back at Coventry Hospital, Professor Poole was in a very good mood. My brain scan was fine, so he said I had to think of something else that could be causing the headaches .Everything else seemed to be O.K. and he said he would get a breast surgeon to remove my lump so I wouldn't have a scar. I told you how wonderful the NHS can be. I had to go for a blood test and I left the hospital with a plaster on that arm. One on the other where they had put in the iodine for my scan and the third was where George had bit me - John said "what a lady!"

That night I went with friends to see "Walking with Dinosaurs." All the stresses of the day disappeared, as we were mesmerised by these magnificent beasts who were so lifelike and George was but a memory.

WHAT IS NORMAL ANYMORE?

2009-08-16T10:10:18Z

At the beginning of July, Marilyn Meade-Brown from Macmillan came to my house to discuss a conference speech I am doing for them in September where I am to talk about my journey with cancer, how my Macmillan nurse helped me and how the New Perspectives Courses I tutor are helping other cancer patients. There was a lot of material to cover here and it was very strange to go back to day 1 of my cancer journey and to relive it, remembering all the amazing things that have happened to me over these 8 years as well as the hard scary times. Sue Harris, my nurse always said she knew I wanted to get back to being normal again, but I don't know what "normal" is anymore.

Talking of amazing things, we always go the first week in July to The Lakes. We have a timeshare in Langdale near Lake Elterwater, which is such a beautiful area, but every year it rains. This year we had sunshine every day and what a difference it makes from trudging around in waterproofs and wet walking boots. John and I have had a very busy time over the last few months, so what a joy to just relax and take in the beautiful scenery at leisure. We had the added bonus of our friends Jean and Ray calling in to see us on their way to Scotland. When we returned home we both felt refreshed with our batteries recharged.

Two "grumpy old men" waiting for their wives to come back from retail therapy!!

They say it is always back to earth with a bump when you come home from your holidays. The next morning, I looked out of our front window and to my horror, I saw a man with a chainsaw up the oak tree outside our house. It was over 100ft high and was always a welcome sight when we returned home. The squirrels lived in it and it had been a source of joy to look out on since we moved into the house.

Perhaps they were just giving it a prune I thought hopefully, but when I went to investigate they said it was dying and could be a danger "health and safety and all that!" " But it is still has greenery sprouting out of its trunk, how can it be dying!" I protested. They must be used to people like me who are passionate about trees and the man said they have had people chain themselves to a tree to try to stop them chopping it down. He explained that when a tree is in it's death throes it gives out a last burst of growth, so sadly I had to watch a magnificent tree that had taken 150 years to grow, reduced to a mere stump in just 6 hours. We all felt sad, those who had enjoyed it's splendour. I rang the Council to ask if they would be replacing it and they said they would - in November. I still feel sad every time I pass where the oak tree once proudly stood, home to many birds, squirrels and insects.

Then, I had a phone call which cheered me up. I was asked if I would go that week to the ICC Birmingham to accept a cheque on behalf of Macmillan for ÃÂ£250.000. I had to sit through 4 hours of the Nationwide AGM. People kept apologising to me, but I found it fascinating and I wasn't going anywhere till I had that cheque in my hand. It was presented by the Chief Executive and how wonderful that despite a very gruelling meeting he took the time to do this.

The chief executive, Graham and I.

The week definitely improved, with a dinner party at our house for special friends and on the Saturday the Solihull Cancer Support Group held a barbecue in the lovely grounds of St. Swithin's Church, Barston. The Handmadeburger Co. in Solihull were kindly providing the chefs and the beefburgers free, all we had to do was to provide the salads, puddings and raffle prizes - and pray for good weather! It had rained everyday that week, but that evening our prayers were answered. It was a perfect balmy hot summer's eve. We had great music, much laughter and really excellent food. We even managed to raise some money for our group. As people left carrying balloons, waving goodbye, the committee were thrilled, that thanks to the Handmadeburger Co. and St. Swithin's Church the night had been such a success.

IN AN ENGLISH COUNTRY GARDEN

2009-07-30T22:37:39Z

John and I were invited to two open garden days both in the same week. The first was in the beautiful quissential English village Ilmington on the edge of the Cotswolds. It was a sunny day and after getting our tickets from the Lord of the Manor we explored the gardens, each one seemed to be lovelier than the last and the Morris Dancers completed the scene This is one village that I could happily live in, plus the fact our close friends Margaret and David live there

The following weekend we visited Moseley's open gardens and again some were truly breathtaking.Our friends open their garden to the public every year and the river that used to flood our BBC Bar at regular intervals flows through their garden. During my 37 years at the BBC I travelled through Moseley and always hoped that one day I would be able to see the private park that can only be accessed by a key. After visiting many houses that backed on to this park, I suddenly came across an open gate and at last I was able to walk through this wonderfully kept secret haven. It was there that I saw this delightful family and couldn't resist a photo.

During the week after a another rewarding "Living with Cancer Course", I hurried home to give my grandaughter Lucinda her 1st birthday party. What a joy to be able to share the milestones in our grandchildrens' lives.

Over the last couple of weeks it feels as if the sunny Summer we were promised has now finally arrived. John and I spent a lovely evening in Henley-in-Arden, where Philip, the future President of John's Rotary Club entertained visitors from all over the world to a barbecue with a Jazz Band,in his very English garden which ran down to the river. Our American friends were completely enchanted by the whole evening and many Anglo/American friendships were sealed that night.

My week continued with my complimentary therapies to help keep up that old immune system and yoga and reflexology are so important in helping mine. At last after months of treatment I finally had my root filling and no more trips to the dentist chair. Hurray, another problem off the health list!

Our last garden was Bodnant Garden in Wales where we watched a falconery display and then we were all asked to lie down and this beautiful barn owl with the biggest yellow eyes flew right over us almost brushing us with his wings and yet his flight was silent, no wonder they are such great hunters.

The resident peacock gave us a wonderful display in the garden as he strutted his stuff.
Imagine my surprise when I went into the garden shop and there he was again in front of the mirror flirting with his image. The shop assistant said he was lonely and he thought this was his friend. Perhaps one day they will find him a mate and he needn't hog the ladies' mirror!

SO THIS IS WHAT THEY CALL RETIREMENT!

2009-07-27T20:02:03Z

The day after my first cancer course for Macmillan I managed to negotiate the study from John as I had some homework to do.

I was asked to appear on the Ed Doolan show to talk about returning to work with cancer.
I thought I would be asked about patients' rights and the benefits they were entitled to, so I trawled the Macmillan website for all the information I could find and read the Discrimination Act. I am a mine of information I thought as I went off to do the interview, my head full of facts and figures. Ed asked me not one question on these subjects as there was a gentleman called Keith who was qualified to answer them. We discussed many other aspects of how you deal with cancer and work and he made me feel so relaxed that I was not at all nervous in front of the microphone.

Afterwards I was able to go and have coffee with Yvonne who I used to work with. I still get a buzz from being at the BBC, although I have not worked there for 8 years now.

On that night, at our Solihull Cancer Support Group we had a brilliant talk by Dr. Paul Crowe who told us about Interventional Radiology. Radiologists can now, in certain cases, perform surgery to remove the tumour during the scan. Apparently it is less evasive and you don't have to wait weeks for scan results before you get your treatment. These are exciting times for cancer patients as great strides are being made in this field.

My working week was still not finished, as the next day I was picked up to go to a Macmillan conference at the Paragon Hotel in Birmingham. Amazingly one of the subjects on the agenda was about going back to work and benefits. Everything I had learnt for my radio interview was discussed and I could ask intelligent questions thanks to all my research. So as they say, "no knowledge is ever wasted"!

Saturday morning arrived and this was "me" time. On a gloriously sunny day I caught the train for London, where I met my friend Debbie and her daugher Hannah to have lunch and see "The King and I" at the Royal Albert Hall. Unknown to us it was "The Trooping of the Colour" the same day and Debbie was unable to get across London for a good hour after my train arrived. This left me free to shop in Kensington which was disastrous for my credit card, but when we finally met up what a lovely day we shared together.

John was waiting for me as my train arrived at Dorridge station that evening and I looked forward to a relaxing night in with a glass of wine after my rather hectic week.

THE LULL BEFORE THE STORM

2009-07-14T19:56:58Z

While my husband was walking with his friends in Wales I went down to my favourite destination The New Forest, to stay with my friend Debbie. The weather was glorious and what a time to be in the Forest,There were many newborn foals tottering on spindly, unsure legs, staying very close to Mom. While having a cream tea at a Mill, a mother donkey wandered by with her beautiful baby who seemed to be protected by other females, a little like the baby elephants in South Africa who are surrounded by their aunts to ensure they grow up to adulthood.

We found a little donkey lying down by the side of the road looking ill and tired and no amount of cajoling would make her get up and an older donkey kept nuzzling her. Debs and I were really worried and after 2 other people also showed their concern we decided we had no choice but to either bundle her in our car and take her to a vet's or ring for help. The gentlemen suggested giving her 15 minutes on her own and then come back. Imagine our surprise when we returned to find the donkey was gone. Then we saw her ambling up the road happily munching the hedgerow. They say donkeys are stubborn, she was obviously hot and tired and was just having a rest, determined not to be bothered by these do-good interfering females who come from the city and know absolutely nothing about the law of the forest!!

A glorious day on the beach at Hengesbury Head, a ride on the Noddy train and all too soon I am on my way back home to see my oncolgist. He had bought my appointment forward three weeks so I was worried - there must be something wrong. I had already got myself down for chemo even though John kept saying I looked too well - how does he know! Sadly, however hard I try to be positive there is always the fear that it could be bad news and on the day of the appointment I am always a nervous wreck. I start teaching my Living with Cancer Course next week for 6 weeks, I can't possibly be ill.

Once more I am waiting outside Professor Poole's office, how quickly it comes round, but he is smiling - a good sign. He called me early because of concerns by my doctor - all that worrying, if only I had known. He agreed with John's diagnosis that I looked well and he would give me another 3 months. I am elated, another reprieve from the dreaded chemo.

That weekend I spent the next couple of days preparing for my Macmillan course. John and I went out for dinner to celebrate my good news. Then I discovered it - a lump in my breast which felt just like a pea. I managed somehow to get through Monday and on Tuesday I started tutoring my course. Five of the ladies had breast cancer and each one described feeling a pea-sized lump.

At the end of the session I headed down the M6 for home and pulled into a layby to make an urgent call to my doctor's to say "I have a lump in my breast." If I could get there in 15 minutes they would see me. I couldn't spend anothere sleepless night worrying so I said "I'll be there." I had already lost my other bits to ovarian cancer, please don't let me have to lose a breast as well.

I firmly believe that someone is looking after me, because the doctor said that it was not a cancerous lump but a sebaceous cyst. Maybe I've spelt it wrong but who cares - I don't have breast cancer! What a rollercoaster few days, but do you know, that night I slept like a log!

CHLOE GOES ON HOLIDAY

2009-06-09T21:51:31Z

We are off to Llandudno and we decided to take our 13 year old cat Chloe with us for the first time. She always associates the car with going to the vets and injections so she was quite surprised when 2 1/2 hours later she found herself exploring her new home for the next 5 days. When a large seagull perched on the windowsill I think it came as quite a shock to a little cat who is only used to chasing pigeons and magpies. We took her out on the landing and to John's horror she disappeared through a gap in the marble balastrauds, It was a 30ft drop and he dreaded seeing see her lying on the floor but no, there she was gingerly walking round a narrow ledge. Cats are cleverer than we give them credit for and very intuitive. When I was really ill during chemo sessions, Chloe would lie with me on the bed and never leave my side. I am sure that other people with animals know they can be a real comfort.

When she was put in her basket for the return journey I think she had quite an adventure. If only they could talk! I will never know if she would have preferred to have stayed at home and be looked after by our kind neighbour Mike rather than be with us in strange surroundings.

Our special Chloe
Back home I went to a fondue party in Balsall Common and what great fun we had cooking chicken, steak, prawns and cheese. It was in the 60s 70s that I last used a fondue and it was so enjoyable I must go into the loft and find it and start using it again. Why do all the cooking when you can get your guests to do it!!

After a session of aromatherapy and healing, the weekend was upon us and John and I went to my friend Cheryl's 60th birthday party at The Bell and Cross,Belbroughton. Cheryl and I worked together at the BBC and she always talked about her friend Sandra whose love life seemed to mirror mine in those days and then, when I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer Sandra was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Once again our lives seemed to be mirroring each other, although we had never met.

That is until the party where I found myself sitting opposite this vivacious blond with a great sense of humour and a tan. Yes it was Sandra who had come back from a Mediterranean cruise that day. We got on like a house on fire and both agreed that when you you have a life threatening disease such as cancer, you live everyday to the full. It was a really great night and we were all asked to make paper hats from our napkins. Sandra and I might not have won the prize, but we had great fun making them and I think we could have graced Ladies Day at Ascot no problem! The great news is that we are meeting up for lunch in Leamington Spa.

Sandra and I, looking very silly!

John was off on a walking/drinking holiday with 6 of his old friends to Wales. When I go there it always rains, but this time they had 5 glorious hot sunny days. I am not sure if these men, who were all in their mid 60's, walked up Snowdon, or just walked in Snowdonia, but they all had a great time and I think it is good for them to get together away from us ladies.

This left me to my own devices and sunny days were spent sunbathing in the garden and planting all my plants which were promptly dug up by our pesky squirrels or eaten by our army of slugs and snails. Girlfriends came round for a glass of wine and a girly chat. I could play my music when I liked and as loud as I liked and I could go to bed when I felt like it. I certainly wouldn't want to live without John,but just for a short time I was amazed by how much I achieved in his absence. The saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true and we both felt really happy to see each other again. Now, I too have an adventure to go on, which I will tell you about next time!

AN UNWANTED VISITOR

2009-06-04T19:32:47Z

It's Saturday morning and I'm sitting in the Alexandra Theatre with my 2 grandchildren Ben and Nicky, with a bag of sweeties, waving an luminous wand, waiting to see the Tweenies. I think I am the only person in the theatre who has never seen them on CBeebies, but after singing along to every song, stamping my feet and clapping my hands, I am truly converted!! In fact I think I enjoyed it more than the grandchildren who looked at me in puzzled amusement. It reminded me of when I took my own sons to the pantomime where I would boo and hiss and shout "he's behind you". They were so embarrased by my enthusiasm to join in, that they wouldn't sit with me on the bus, they walked on the other side of the road and refused to go with me again. What a joy to have grandchildren so I can enjoy doing this all over again. Ben and Nicky might one day also be too embarrassed, but I can't wait to take them to the next show!!

I really needed this break, to take my mind off a very unwelcome visitor who arrived in our bedroom at 4am in the morning, thanks to our cat, Chloe. She proudly presented us
with a small rat and as it ran up the curtains, I could see it's long tail dangling down. From the safety of the bed, I shouted to John "Pull it down by it's tail". "It's too big" he retorted. This is the man who took on 2 masked raiders when they smashed into our house one night with 5ft sledge hammers!! After trying to chase the rat round the bedroom it disappeared from sight. Tired and weary, we left Chloe in the room to keep guard and retreated to try and get some sleep in the smaller 2nd bedroom, knowing Ratty was residing in the master bedroom!

This state of affairs went on for a week. We kept the door firmly shut, I gingerly crept in to get my clothes and to keep up the search. As I got bolder and more angry with our intruder, I stripped every drawer, took everything out of the wardrobes, moved the bed and the furniture and searched every shoe box expecting the rat to run out. Apart from signs that he had spent his first night in John's knicker drawer, there was not a sign of him and Chloe, who was in disgrace, showed no interest whatsover. Rentokil said that a small rat can get through a hole the size of the top of a pen and could have squeezed through the skirting and could now be heading to our loft - Great!! We tried to entice him into traps filled with juicy raisins and chocolate to no avail. A week later, we warily moved back into our immaculate bedroom. We have never seen Ratty again and we can only hope he went out of the open window back to where he belonged.

Jonathan, my son was coming over from Canada to a wedding and was staying at our house. "I'm not staying if that rat is still there," he said. I convinced him that it had gone, but even now a couple of weeks on, I still keep a wary lookout for him!

All too soon I was at Birmingham Airport waving a tearful farewell to Jonathan. What a joy it was to be able to be a Mom again and spoil him. John thoroughly enjoys him coming to stay, because the menus improve considerably as I rustle up all Jonathan's favourite meals.

My friend Sandra and I both have ovarian cancer and are an incredible support to each other. We try to help, support and give encouragement to other ladies who have only recently been diagnosed and are afraid of the chemo and the future. Sandra and I also like to socialise together. We can talk about anything because we understand each other's fears and this is so valuable.

After Jonathan left, we had a day at the Jewellery Quarter. We caught the train and had a lovely time gazing longingly through shop windows and lunching in this unique part of Birmingham. We went to the Jewellery Museum which was fascinating and we plan to return to visit St. Paul's Cathedral and the ancient cemetry. All this history on our doorstep and how often do we seek it out?

Sandra and I also book all the speakers for our Solihull Cancer Support Group and this week it was our own oncologist Professor Poole, who was coming to give a talk. At 8pm the room was full, but unfortunately there was no Professor Poole. When I finally tracked him down at 8.30pm, I was amazed that he was still at the hospital with a patient. He said he would still be able to come and give his talk, and at 9.45pm he arrived. Sadly some people had to go home, but those who stayed were not disappointed. After a long hard day, he gave a brilliant speech on how chemotherapy drugs have evolved and advanced during his career. When Professor Poole finally finished, well after 11pm, he must have been shattered, but we were so delighted that against all odds, he gave his valuable time to talk to us. It is so important to have faith in your oncologist and Sandra and I knew that we were in very safe hands.