Or, as pertinently, where it all went to. This includes what the food companies chuck at source or in transit, the freegan stuff the supermarkets discard, the 30% we throw away, and the dung we produce.

Any notion that our food supply could be threatened in a UK city in the 21st century seems alien, fanciful, irrelevant.

So no wonder that the Conference delegates chatted about other things, including 'Green Infrastructure, leadership and the value of the environment'. This apparently included 'joint working' and 'intergenerational thinking' plus the familiar if unfeasible and undesirable 'one voice', this time for 'the environment sector' whatever (whoever?) that might be - oil companies, if their recent adverts are to be believed.

Considering alternative food supplies won't seem so alien when shortages hit . . . well, home. All the evidence indicates that our highly 'efficient' food supply systems are unsustainable, a situation about to be dramatically exacerbated with nine billion of us on the planet. This is because the grub on our plate is not at the end of a system; it's part of a cycle.

Many of us urbanites will have to face our squeamishness about the fur and feathers, the heads, claws and paws, let alone the death of the animals we eat. And there's all that embarrassment to overcome about dung, theirs and ours, that's so very useful for the growing of plants.

With such matters at the back of my mind, I read about the long-running fiasco over Dale End with its abandoned Toys'R'Us, ugly carpark and more than tatty air.

Given its rural-sounding name . . . Is it too fanciful to suppose . . . ?

The landowners are the City Council. They have the means and power to create open space or parkland at Dale End instead of continuing to mutter for years about the possibility to reconsider to restart to rethink to rebuild yet more retail glories for the big boys.

No, you're right. The Council wouldn't make Dale End an open space for us. After all, we've got the prospect of a vast 8 acres at Eastside City Park. And they'd cite lawyers, planning processes, best value and all that time-consuming gubbins.

So any ideas to revert the end of our dale, mammon forfend, to cultivation, whether Havana-style horticulture (see also the BBC clip below) or a Dickson Despommier-style highrise farm (see also the Discovery Channel clip) does seem a stretch too far, even if it were sold as a trendy, money-spinning tourist attractor showcase.

Far too fanciful. (See the third video clip, Simon Baddelsey's on the Victoria Jubilee allotments in Handsworth.)

Yet our food security is a topic that will, alas, return.

The BBC on Havana horticulture

The Discovery Channel on vertical farms

Simon Baddesley's video about the Victoria Jubilee allotments in Handsworth

Last week Trinity Mirror, the company that owns the Birmingham Post, announced 41 journalists in the Midlands are to lose their jobs by the end of the year. I am offering to leave as part of the cull.

Why?

I want to leave so I can become a writer who is as competent in the digital arena as I currently am in print.

I am in a more fortunate position than many of my colleagues in that I have worked for BPM Media, as it is now known, for 21 years and so my pay-off is relatively comfortable. I can buy myself the time to learn.

My plan is to spend the first few months of next year getting to know how websites are made. I want to learn HTML code. I want to understand FTP, SEO and WBMP format. I want to get canny with the back end of the internet so I can be more effective in the way I use it up front.

I love the internet for its scope, its flexibility, its speed, its diversity and its potential to create community. I'm excited by the way, in theory at least, it makes it possible for anyone to tell his or her story. I came into journalism because I believe in story-telling. The world wide web has made this possible in ways that were unimaginable just 20 years ago. This is a good thing.

Sadly, it is also bringing about the crisis in the media industries which I and my colleagues are finding so painful at the moment. I have no idea what form the media of the future will take. I don't know if Murdoch will prove that readers are happy to pay for newspapers online and thereby rescue not only the Times but the whole newspaper industry.

I can't tell if the Guardian's response of inviting readers to subscribe to a newspaper-based club will turn out to be the business model that rescues all print from terminal decline. I have a sneaky feeling that Clay Shirky might be right when he says saving newspapers is not the answer and the whole edifice needs to come tumbling down before the new journalism - whatever it is - can emerge.

But I have a hunch that whatever form the media of the future is going to take, whether it will be niche and hyperlocal or multi-tasking in multi-media conglomerates, the people who are going to be really useful are those who combine traditional story-telling skills with both a social and technical understanding of the web.

I want to be one of those people. I'm fortunate in having the opportunity to become one. With moist eyes and tender feelings for the team to which I have belonged for almost all my adult life, I have handed in my form....

I was led to the eloquent and engaging talk by the architect Carolyn Steel at the 2009 TED Conference in Oxford. She wrote Hungry City: How food shapes our lives.

we're as dependent on the natural world as much as our ancestors were . . . we live in a world shaped by food . . . food is a fundamental ordering principle . . . one billion of us are obese while a further billion of us starve . . . 80% of the world's global trade in food controlled by just five international corporations . . . it's a grim picture

How do we make good decisions about our future when faced with seemingly intractable problems, plus great uncertainty?

In terms of any policy decision-making, I'm reminded of Deep Blue. You may remember that this was the computer programme that thrashed an understandably miffed and sulky Kasparov. This fiercesomely complicated software, as the chess programme Deep Thought developed at Santa Fe, was based on four simple heuristics which, I suggest, work pretty well as guidelines for decision-making in the real world (I quote from Kevin Kelly):

1. Favour moves that increase options.
2. Shy away from moves that end well but require cutting off choices.
3. Work from strong positions that have many adjoining strong positions.
4. Balance looking ahead to really paying attention to what's happening on the whole board.

As we're people not chessmen, we need something about the common good, especially for future generations. And for 'board', don't read Birmingham, read world as we're all in this together.

Basing decision-making on the heuristics above, we could follow Carolyn Steel's notion that food is a fundamental ordering principle. So a start would be to follow the advice of one of my email correspondents; i.e. determine what levels of food security Birmingham and its West Midlands hinterland actually has.

This would enable us to see what connectivity and other investment, both social and capital, is needed for all our supplies. Moreover, it would generate ideas about how we might get rid of dependency on corporate men in far-off places like Little Rock, Arkansas, and on the vulnerabilities inherent in global logistics.

It would also give us a practical understanding of the natural world and, crucially, our dependency upon it.

Meanwhile, as Roger Levett concludes his essay:

"the West Midlands has nothing to lose, and potentially a great deal to gain, from promoting low technology, low impact mutual enterprise meeting basic human needs such as food and warmth in a convivial way as one strand of economic recovery."

This morning on the Today programme, Radio 4, The Times' Dance critic Debra Craine lamented the lack of 'edgy' ballets being created in Britain today.

She said:

"Ballet companies have become more conservative as the audiences have become more conservative...The ballet world It's now all Swan Lake and if you are a touring company, particularly in Britain you've got to produce full length productions, the title of which is recognisable on a marketing poster."

The comment came out of a discussion about Sergey Diaghilev - celebrating the way the choreographer could bring together Picasso, Stravinsky, and Matisse for a production, making ballet a fashionable art form.

But, hang on, has the top critic of a national newspaper not seen David Bintley's recent E=mc²? The British choreographer and director of Birmingham Royal Ballet has literally just set off on tour around the UK with one of the most edgy full-length ballets of this year.

Craine does acknowledge works by choreographer Matthew Bourne (his Dorian Gray comes to Birmingham Hippodrome in November). But how could she overlook a leading international ballet company, who have repeatedly turned out new, modern, unique ballets which attract new audiences and don't come up with titles for marketing purposes (E=mc² also doesn't translate easily to keyboard)? Craine thinks 'edgy' is a term reserved for contemporary dance - which is often defined as abstract and difficult to understand by mass audiences.

But I would suggest contemporary can venture too far into the 'edgy' realm - alienating audiences who struggle to understand convoluted meanings and conceptual creations. Take, for example, Vincent Dance Theatre, who showcased their latest works this week at The Patrick Centre. They opened the dance with a manifesto of what their show would not be, starting with the words "No more dancing." What proceeded was a choatic mix of shouting, stumbling movement, disjointed monologues and long pauses of silence - not exactly a great night's entertainment. Blurring of art forms can hit the mark - mixing visual art with physical theatre, acting and dance...but in this case it was decidedly off-mark, making you wish the company had just stuck to dancing.

This, I would say, errs on the wrong side of edgy. But Bintley's latest ballet creation was a mind-blowing - called by one critic "some of the most extreme work the Birmingham Royal Ballet has undertaken to date." Collaborating with Matthew Hindson for music, and Albert Einstein's theory of relativity - the ballet harkens to Diaghilev's "unique" ability to bring together a range of brilliant artists and attract untouched audiences.

If that is not edgy, I don't know what is.

Keisha Grant. Photo: Chris Nash.

ACE Dance and Music's new production, 'Switch' showcased at Solihull Art Complex - the digbeth-based company once again bringing a fresh mix of African and Asian infused contemporary moves to the dance arena. If you missed out on the evening of dynamic choreography and athletic dancing, ACE return with 'Switch' on 6 November to the Drum in Aston.

Next up, the second installment from the Birmingham Royal Ballet, Cyrano. Following David Bintley's powerful new ballet E=mc², Cyrano returned again since its 2007 re-launch with the original trio Robert Parker, Elisha Willis and Iain MacKay dancing the lead roles Bintley created for them. The company now tours around the UK showcasing the additions to the repetoire, and it is only with feelings of gushing pride that we wave them off on their travels. Bintley is truly one of the best choreographers and directors the company has ever seen, and witnessing the debut of a creation such as E=mc² feels like tasting a piece of history. It is an explosive and captivating piece - exploring unknown territory in the ballet world, inspired by Einstein's theory of relativity.

Finally to round off the week, on Friday The Patrick Centre at DanceXchange played host to some of the region's rising new talent. Laura Dredger, Keisha Grant (in a self-choreographed duet alongside Sean Graham) and Kate Mason put on a varied Triple Bill of fresh new works in what turned out to be a thought-provoking, mesmerising and exciting evening with three young dancers showing oodles of talent and promise.

All in all it was a week to prove Birmingham is creating and choreographing leading new works, both in the tiny corners of the city with experimental and understated choreography, as well as on the big stage such as the Hippodrome's display of the astounding talents in our very own international ballet company. Who knew we had so much (and so much variety) of dance right on our door step.

What's more, we've got nearly 12,000 people taking part in Bollywood steps outdoor event tomorrow in Victoria Square for the Town Hall's 175th birthday celebrations. With International Dance Festival Birmingham and British Dance Edition all setting up camp in Birmingham later this year - it's possible Birmingham could become the biggest dance hub for the UK with unrivaled dance activity all year.

Back in 1977 director Roman Polanski fled the United States after pleading guilty to having sex with a thirteen year old girl. Now there are all sorts of rumours about what actually happened that night, but what isn't in any doubt is the fact that a man had sex with a child, that man Roman Polanski pleaded guilty to the charge as part of a plea arrangement, but while awaiting sentencing left the country and returned to Europe and continued to work.
In that time he has made some excellent films and graced the red carpet at countless film festivals and award ceremonies.
Since that day the issue of his crimes has never gone away, he has never set foot on American soil. A few years ago there was speculation that when the directors film 'The Pianist' was nominated for Oscar's that he may attend the ceremony, but that was never going to happen, America has a statute of limitations, which is effectively is the lifespan of a crime, after a period of time; the police will not pursue or prosecute, but there is no statute of limitations on rape, and sex without consent is rape, being below the legal age of consent is considered rape.
So let's be clear about this Roman Polanski confessed to unlawful sex with an underage thirteen year old girl, but instead of being charged with rape pleaded guilty to a lesser charge and while on bail, ran away from justice.
So why do we have people, including so-called A List celebrities and politicians rallying to his cause, wanting him freed from custody or wanting to block his extradition? Why do we have respected well know female personalities commenting that it wasn't rape, we are talking about a thirteen year old girl, and they are talking about it wasn't rape in the normal sense of the word.
Would these same celebrities be saying the protesting as strongly if person in question was not a famous director, if it was just a member of the general public some of these same people would want his head on a stick. Just because the crime happened thirty plus years ago doesn't mean it did happen or justice has been served. I wonder how many of these people have read the transcript of the victim, which is now a matter of public record, if they did maybe a few of them, would feel differently.
Being talented does not make you above the law, being artistic does not make you above the law, pleading guilty to unlawful sex with a thirteen year old girl makes you a sex offender in almost any society on the planet, and no matter how you dress it up or many awards or accolades Roman Polanski wins, that fact will never change.

When people from outside Europe hear an English accent they tend to assume you're from London and respond with a blank expression when you correct them. Cities including Birmingham are actively working to raise their profile and attract more visitors and good results have undoubtedly been achieved. But how can the UK unite to make sure the message is being heard internationally, particularly outside Europe, that there's life in the UK outside the M25?

Money is of course the first solution that comes to mind. With unlimited budgets the national and regional destination marketing agencies could increase their activity, place advertising and secure editorial coverage in the most read media all over the world.

But do we do enough as individuals to champion our cities? Do we take pride in encouraging international visitors to come to the UK and explore the regions? Do school curriculums overseas place a strong enough emphasis on international geography? Do British TV programmes have too strong an emphasis on London? Do we suffer from a London-centric approach in the news media?

I'd be interested to know people's thoughts on this and what more could be done to make sure people from outside the country know what's great about Britain.

These essays are to be discussed at their Annual Conference on 20th October.

Only one contribution, however, adds something surprising, even startling to the debate. It is by Roger Levett.

But let's start with the Foreword by Ian Austin MP. I quote: we know what we need to do to make the region the workshop of the world again.

We know? Eh? Workshop of the world? Which century is this man in? Or is he merely pandering to some vague nostalgia about what went on in Matthew Boulton's time?

The accidental empires of the 20th century weren't forged in workshops (not even facilitated ones), but in back bedrooms, unused garages and fusty university research labs. At the forefront of this revolution were pizza-fed, caffeine-fuelled nerdy boys who couldn't get a date. These brainy T-shirted lads did weird math, challenged their mates to do even weirder stuff -- not in order to make money or lead a revolution, but simply to explore what it was that they could do.

A few, a very few, with serendipity and luck on their side, went on to found the start-ups that later made a fortune.

So in the 21st century, what might be coming next? West Midlands manufacturers morphing into new-tech superstars that will change the world? They're stretched enough in dealing with today's uncertain demands without taking a wild punt on radically different kinds of minds.

No-one has a clue. All we can do is muddle through, albeit making sure we leave ourselves with lots of options. And here in Birmingham with neither great intellectual nor financial capital, we need options that don't need loadsamoney, and that rest on us and the communities we make.

In his WMRO essay, Roger Levett outlines an opportunity, a low-cost option for us. And it might change many of our lives for the better. He's titled his essay Sustainability and recovery: digging the West Midlands out of recession.

Yes, he means digging. Spades, soil, plants. Digging as in digging for victory.

Mock not. We are, he reminds us, aberrant in human history in taking food security for granted and leaving its production to a minority.

Food for cities is the concern of the United Nations. June's National Geographic featured high-rise farms. John Beddington, the Government's Chief Scientific Advisor talks about the 'perfect storm' of a growing population, failing energy resources and food shortages by 2030.

Could Levett's big-minded, low-power ideas happen here? It'd take some planning, sure, but not much. A little hi-tech science would be handy, too.

As well as lots of waste ground and empty buildings ripe for 'development', Birmingham has more allotments than any other local authority. 115 sites, nearly 7000 plots, 80 associations, mostly the young and older women taking up new tenancies.

Birmingham and Aston Universities have first-rate scientists with relevant knowledge -- botanists, engineers, urban ecologists and other life scientists. Warwick's Horticultural Research International is down the road.

The usual politico-stuff could still go on while putting Levett's ideas into practice; so consultative exercises can continue, the odd iconic building flung up, yet another strategy report reported, and the general hand-wringing all round.

And if the perfect storm does hit us, then allotments, high-rise farms, making waste-land and buildings productive, plus the age-old skills of growing food will be vitally, literally vitally important.

NOTE: Photo of the No 45 bustop by Joe Jabbar of Bongo Vongo, that of Court Lane Allotments by The Pepper Tree. Thanks to both of them for kind permission use their photographs. See also Court Lane Allotments, guerrillagardening.

Just as it's about to cause chaos with our Freeview boxes (due for a re-tune after noon tomorrow - Wednesday September 30) Channel 5 comes up with the most promising thing on TV for some time. Interesting, too, that it has more than a smattering of British front-of-camera talent on display - rather like The Wire.

There are detectives at the forefront again, but there the comparison ends, because FlashForward is much more like Lost. It's the same Rubik's cube-style puzzle, twisting and turning plots and characters to try to make sense of the global mega-event - the whole world passing out at the same time and seeing visions of the future. Or not if you're FBI agent John Cho, sidekick of our hero Joseph Fiennes. Where Lost had a polar bear, FlashForward has a kangaroo in downtown Los Angeles.

One of the guys who has adapted the show from a Canadian SF novel is Star Trek veteran Brannon Braga, so at the moment I'm prepared to give it more of my time than I allowed both Lost and Heroes (a season each).

There is also the comforting idea that the novel (used only as 'a source' say producers) may stop events disappearing up their own black hole as Lost did - although loyalists tell me it later inmproved again. Braga by the way, is now back on 24 Hours, leaving David S Goyer, of the new-style Batman movies, as chief scribe.

Blogs are already desperately trying cross-link FF with Lost - Oceanic Airlines seems to feature in both shows, but that may be just a mischievous crossreference to keep us on our toes. And Brit Sonja Walger ( the hero's surgeon wife) was a key Lost character.

Next week we will record it so we can jump over the seemingly-endless Channel 5 ads - FlashForward living up to its name. Anyone got a theory about what's happening? Who was the guy walking round the stadium while the rest of the world was blacked out? I'm betting on Peter Mandelson.

If you missed last week's drama: here's the sixty second round-up:

This year's series, the seventh since is birth in 2004, has taken a few blows in the first week - most notably the reshuffle of judges causing a tirade of criticism for the replacement of Strictly stalwart Arlene Phillips, with dancer newbie Alesha Dixon.

Arlene was much-loved for her sympathetic viewpoint - often giving encouragement to dancers while retaining a level of expert insight, and having a little flirt with male contestants along the way.

Alesha, 30, was criticised not only by loyal Strictly fans, but insiders and the professional dancers who said Arlene, 66, was 'one of the family', revealed in the Daily Mirror after a briefing note was released from BBC officials. The note also told judges, stars and celebs what to say when asked about the fury over replacing older TV figures with their younger counterparts - another hot topic spurred on by Arlene's departure.

What's more, the Daily Telegraph revealed last week's viewers complained the Strictly costumes were too raunchy and gave the wrong impression to younger viewers. Indeed even Len Goodman found Zoe Lucker's steamy rumba 'distasteful', reflecting the views of some audience members.

The show is also still battling against reality rival X-factor on ITV - seeing a peak of 10.1 million viewers on Saturday night averaging at 8.9 million viewers compared to Strictly's average of 7.9 million.

But Alesha still seems to be the biggest issue surrounding Strictly. One of the fundamental gripes about Alesha's addition to the judging panel, from a dancer's point of view, is she adds nothing critically constructive to the debate - which will become more apparent as the show goes on and decisions over dancers get more difficult. She was clearly placed there by the BBC to give an opinion which reflects the something of what celeb dancers go through when learning new steps and dance styles. But this role would perhaps be more suited to having her take over Tess Daly's position - and talking with the celebs backstage about the hardships of learning to dance from scratch.

Darcy Bussell, the now-retired British prima ballerina, was a breath of fresh air in last week's show - demonstrating the hard work and commitment needed to become a truly great dancer. Her short piece on body conditioning even went as far to break down some of the stigma of ballet dancing - her informal chatty style and impressive form brought it to audiences who have never seen ballet on stage, let alone some of the training involved backstage.

As the weeks go on and the celeb dancers get better and more refined (Ricky from Hollyoaks is sure to demonstrate some excellence), it is tricky to see how Alesha will be able to contribute to the debate without some knowledge of dance, and it is quite possible Darcy might have been a better choice and given the show the new slant it was looking for.

She will have to fall back on giving the public's verdict - and of course there is a place for highlighting how the untrained eye might view a dance - but that place is not on the judging panel. So far Strictly has seen quite the perfect storm for columnists and bloggers, and being only week two of the show - it looks set to be a tumultuous year.

We made a rough plan before we left of where we'd like to stay and driving times but the only real requirement was reaching LA in time for our friends to catch their flight home. Along the way we've seen some beautiful coastline and visited some lovely places, but I don't think we were quite prepared for how much time we'd have to spend in the car.

We covered around 12,000 miles in what amounted to around four days solid driving, passing through three states in two days. We also experienced different weather conditions every few miles. The Oregon coastline was breathtaking and made more dramatic by the September haze and the sunshine in Caifornia made for a great stay in the Napa Valley wine region, but when we approached the Big Sur we were met by thick fog and could barely see the road in front of us as we steered our way around countless hairpin bends with just a narrow grass verge seperating the road from a sheer drop to the ocean.

The route offers something for everyone. We lived the city life in Seattle, tried wine tasting in Napa Valley, visited Alcatraz in San Francisco, seing the tiny cells where the likes of Al Capone served out their sentences, hit the beach in Santa Barbara and partied with the rich and famous in LA.

It's a popular trip with honeymooners, surfers, backpackers and older couples and you're the envy of everyone you meet once they hear about your plans. For our friends who came to visit it was different to other holidays they'd been on as we didn't stay in any one place for more than a day or two but we definitely made the most of our two-week trip and have seen a lot in a short space of time.

If you're on a budget it can be quite expensive, taking into account car hire, fuel, hotels and attractions but there are affordable motels along the way and it would be a shame to travel down without taking hte coastal route as it is so beautiful.

We've now been travelling for ten weeks and for people who want to travel but can't find anyone to go with, one of the things that has surprised me the most is how many people travel alone, particularly young females. In every hostel we've stayed in the majority of girls in the dormitories have been under the age of 25 and travelling on their own for several months. We've heard nothing but good reports so if it's something you've always wanted to do rest assured you'll never really be on your own when you're a traveller.

A few were there for other reasons. Two such were medics, a surgeon and an anaesthetist. They were from a large, busy A&E department in a hospital in Vienna.

South Africa had excellent medical facilities and, unlike Europe, allowed experiments on chimpanzees. Many were imported for the purpose from the war-ravaged Congo or Rwanda.

This was why these two men were there. Their time was spent inflicting massive wounds on chimpanzees under sedation, seeking to recreate the road crash injuries they saw inflicted on humans in Vienna. They then revived the chimpanzees, observed them, took samples, and carried out further operations and procedures. At the end of this Mengele-like experiment, they "humanely" killed their "patients".

The surgeon was deeply troubled. On his last evening, he spoke of how one of the chimps, about to die through his actions, looking him in the eye, holding out his human-like hand to him for comfort. The anaesthetist, apparently indifferent to their suffering and fate, spoke of the value of these experiments to the humans coming through the doors of his hospital department.

Chimpanzees, too, are capable of deliberate violence. Males can and sometimes do commit horrifically murderous acts upon each other. Some even wage tribal wars. They devise strategies, lose and win battles, undertake subterfuge and ambush.

But we human primates wage a more calculated, sustained, nuanced violence. We organise it, justify it, whether against individuals, on our roads, or at war.

The MoD put their Royal Centre for Defence Medicine at Selly Oak because the city gets its share of traumatically injured people, plus we have first-rate hospitals and a fine Medical School. Many medics here already had experience in mending the maimed, and are gaining unrivaled expertise now. We are, rightly, in awe of their skill and their humanity.

We're rarely reminded of the cause of it all. When we are . . . for me, it was well-nigh impossible to watch; the BBC documentary Wounded showed the shock of war on the lives of two youngsters, barely men, their bodies mutilated in Afghanistan.

Do you, like me, feel an impotent shame at the chilling, wilful aforethought of our violence, whether warfare in Kandahar and Helmand, or the tale I heard all those years ago in Pretoria?

© Kate Cooper

Spymonkey's Moby Dick, currently opening a nationwide tour at Royal&Derngate, Northampton, must be the funniest show on any stage in Britain at the moment.

Given the company's global reach, that accolade will soon, no doubt, read 'anywhere in the world'. It really is that brilliant. Sly and witty, deftly debunking theatrical conventions at every turn, full of brilliantly-executed physical comedy, with warm and winning turns from a company of four magnificent performers, it is an absolute must-see.

There are knowing panto touches which have the audience acting as winds and waves in the remix version of the famous tale of one man's obsession. There are elements of burlesque and variety filtered through Pythonesque characters and situations. How clever, for instance, to have the narration from a native Spaniard with a less-than convincing grasp of English - so from the go the story is as unintelligible as many think the original Melville tome is.

But critical analysis aside, it is just so laugh-out-loud funny at every turn. The show has been created by the performers, Aitor Basauri, Petra Massey, Toby Park and Stephan Kreiss, with input from director and associate director Jos Houben, a Theatre de Complicite veteran, and Rob Thirtle.

Aitor Basauri continually conspires with the audience against Ahab (aka the actor manager star) and brings the timing of the best stand-ups to his job of narration with odd echoes of a certain waiter from Barcelona - and he is an awesome giant of the deep.

Toby Park, also responsible for the original music, pulls off the neat trick of combining the irascible chutzpah of Sir Donald Wolfit with The Carpenters (no, really) and Stephan Kreiss redefines the meaning of physical comedy with every step he tries to take. Wonderful.

Petra Massey is the most disconcerting and funniest nutter you're ever likely to see, combining it with authentic rapping, acrobatics and bizarre puppetry as well as penning and performing a self-penned vocal meditation on the chances of the ship's figurehead becoming pregnant. Magnificent.

The finale, which I won't divulge, is an absolute, gobsmacking knock-out, at once hilarious, uplifting and utterly ludicrous.

Go here for tour details, but it's at Northampton until September 26.

Thanks to all at Spymonkey and Royal&Derngate for co-producing yet another smash hit which made two hours fly by.

Flicking through The Guardian (to be fair, dear reader, I was in Leicester and there were no Posts to be found) I came across a picture of the new Doctor Who, Matt Smith, in his newly-unveiled trademark look. Aside from thinking that a bow tie and tweed jacket was the mode du jour for all Open University lecturers of my childhood, rather than time-travellers, my main response was "Is that really news?"

That's not a comment on the increasingly central role that Saturday night television is playing in defining our national culture, but because I'd already seen that image. Three days previously a friend in Cardiff had texted me a pic from her mobile phone and a formal BBC publicity shot was online the next day and highlighted in a Twitter feed.

My reaction to the Doctor's photo was a microcosm of the issue being faced by the Post at present. Printed media is simply unable to keep pace with contemporary news dissemination such as Twitter, websites and blogs.

Before the esteemed journos at Fort Dunlop have collective coronaries, I also believe that the proliferation of largely uninformed personal comment (and I'm fully aware that this blog probably falls into that category) will mean that good, rigorous, well-researched pieces will continue to have an audience because they stand up well against the plethora of thoughts from wannabe writers.

Lionel Barber, the Editor of the Financial Times, has said publicly that he thinks we'll see pay-per-view journalism this year. Although many have mocked his views, he may have something there. Economic theory has taught us that by restricting product - whether it be luxury handbags, specialist advice or intelligent informed commentary - that price tends to rise in inverse proportion to its lack of availability. So why not journalistic product?

Well, one of the issues is that there's a generation coming up that simply aren't used to paying for content, whether it be music, comment or news. I'm sceptical about whether freemium business models will work - let's keep a weather eye on Spotify's premium service to see.

To my mind, those who predict the demise of the newspaper industry are only partially right. Yes, newspapers as a delivery medium may die, but many commentators confuse delivery mechanism with content. However, we need local and regional journalism even more than ever. Local politicians of all hues need to be held to account. Arts organisations need critiques of their work to attract existing and new audiences. Sporting teams need unbiased analysis of their results. Perhaps even more importantly, Birmingham needs this flagship title as matter of civic pride.

Our national and regional newspapers are brands; people choose brands which they trust because they align to the individuals' current or aspirational lifestyles, such as political views, interests and hobbies, football teams, etc. It's perfectly possible that in the near future I could create my own bespoke online newspaper - aligned to what I'm interested and believe in - grabbing news and editorial comment from one paper, investigative journalism from another, entertainment news and gossip from a third. I know that I can do that now through RSS feeds but I can't see it in a user-friendly format, nicely designed with the feel of a personalised brand. (Think of the joy of being able to filter out the Sunday supplements which currently go straight into the recycling.) The closest I've seen is The Huffington Post but I don't think that there's a UK version; if you know of one, do let me know.

If we're honest, we're all responsible for the situation in which Marc and colleagues find themselves: we haven't bought enough copies of the paper, nor advertised nearly enough. The business model no longer stacks up because it isn't for a newspaper; it's for an advertising opportunity with some news included to pull us in on a regular basis. That's not a comment on The Post writers, for whom I have great respect, but a statement of fact - and that's why it's not working.

Is the weekly printed option combined with a website, which has been suggested by Marc, really an option? I'd love to think so, but in reality it's a sticking plaster aiming to staunch a deep wound. I want to be wrong about that last sentence but my gut tells me differently.

I hate people who are only able to catalogue problems and don't offer possible solutions, so here's an alternative idea: we no longer try to make profits in this loss-making business. Instead the Post is sold, becomes a community interest company and those of us which care about quality local journalism buy shares. We have a small core staff and buy in local content; we publish ONLY online. It's syndication turned on its head, made more relevant and local. No more 'exclusive' interviews with the star of the latest Hollywood blockbuster who's never even heard of Birmingham, and lots more of sourcing trending topics through Twitter, The Stirrer, Help Me Investigate, and other digital tools that haven't been unveiled or even invented yet.

Utopian? Perhaps. But radical times call for radical solutions.

I am getting keyed up over the 65-plus exam. When I was coming up to secondary school age, a whole lifetime ago, life was simple. Fraught but simple. You passed the 11-plus and went to your nearest grammar school or you failed and went to your nearest secondary modern school. It was the same throughout the country, with results like those pictured.

Despite the demonising of the legendary exam, it was far less stressful than the constant testing my children faced, and a complete doddle compared to what my grandchildren are put through.

When my daughters were coming up to secondary school choices, it seemed simple enough. They'd been to a truly excellent junior school with none of the SATS nonsense back then, and it seemed a natural progression for them to go to the mixed comprehensive just a bit further up the road. Everything within walking distance, please note.

Both our girls were gifted musicians, and there was considerable pressure from their music teacher for them to go to a famous and high-performing mixed comprehensive in the next town where they travelled to have their (private) lessons. But it was a rigidly CofE establishment, which was a bit of a problem for a rabidly atheist family. You had to have clergy recommendations and so forth. Apparently, the music mafia could have sorted that for us - the school wanted talented players and singers and a nod and a wink system was in place if you knew the right people, which we did, quite by accident.

Anyway, our two went to the comprehensive, which, with the benefit of hindsight, was not the best choice. As it happens, Son of Sid, my younger daughter, is going to her first school reunion this weekend, while her sister looks on regretfully from California with the aid of Facebook.

Now I am finally coming to the point. My eldest grandchild is now in Year Six and we are starting on the whole secondary school fiasco again. And fiasco it is. Go here to see what a friend of mine thinks about it. We are not as badly placed as her. Her local authority asks for a list of five schools. Ours demands three.

In practice, and despite all the spin about parental choice which has developed over the years since I took the dreaded 11-plus, because of rules about catchment areas and the high demand for places at the best schools, it comes down to two.

You are virtually guaranteed a place at your nearest secondary school which is fed by our junior school. We'll call this school A, which no way would be our top choice and which is well under-subscribed.

We could opt for one of the on-paper top performing schools in the country, our next closest, a former CTC, now an oversubscribed business academy. But friends have characterised it as an exam factory. It also has terms which do not coincide with the rest of the county. Bit of a problem when mum is a teacher.

We could opt for a well-respected and over-subscribed performing arts college. We'll call it School B. But we're outside the catchment area, so the prospective student would have to compete by an audition for one of the 20 places offered to gifted and talented pupils. And you thought the 11-plus was tough?

We are in the catchment area of the other possibility - but only by a quirk. Because it's a single sex school, only one of three in our county, it has to accept applications rather in the way that faith schools are obliged to - it's parental choice. By the same token, the LEA has to provide transport for pupils. So this is School C.

So what do we do with our list of three? Put School A at the top and our gifted and talented child will get a place, no question. But then neither School B nor C will look at her. Put B at the top and C will ignore her - and she may fail the audition. C at the top and B will ignore her.

So our 'choice' is between A (as second choice) and one other which our student may or may not get a place at. I would genuinely welcome feedback and thoughts from any families.