Birth-First Parent Blog

Should Language Barriers Result in Removal?

Jenna Hatfield — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 16:57:33 +0000

I will never condone abuse or neglect. Children experiencing such atrocities need to be removed, at the very least, for a temporary time period. However, I cannot agree with this case out of Mississippi in which a mother lost custody of her child because she didn't speak English.

I kept hoping, as I read the article, that another shoe would drop. She would have had a previous DUI or a history of drug use. Not so. She is an undocumented migrant worker having come to the... more

Literally Losing Your Child to Adoption

Jenna Hatfield — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 18:39:47 +0000

Many mothers from the Baby Scoop Era prefer to say that they "lost their child to adoption." These particular mothers were never offered the option of parenting, being forced into relinquishing their children by their families and the maternity homes which housed them during their pregnancies. You will also sometimes hear mothers who have had their children removed by Social Services use the same term as technically they lost their rights due to issues of abuse or neglect. Even some mothers from the open era who were coerced into relinquishment or simply not offered... more

Back-to-School Issues for Birth Parents

Jenna Hatfield — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:57:08 +0000

I've been reading some very thought provoking posts by adoptive parents who are sending their children to school again or for the first time this year. Some proactive parents discuss the issues surrounding adoption as soon as possible. Some wait awhile, not wanting to single their child out. Some fall into some other variation, choosing a path they feel is best for their child. They all make their decisions for reasons that are important to their family, their child.

All of this talk leaves me wondering how I should be addressing this issue.

My... more

It's Family Picture Day!

Jenna Hatfield — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:58:11 +0000

We're currently on vacation at the beach. By we, of course, I am meaning my husband and two parented sons. My parents, brother and sister-in-law are also down here, making for a great time. Late this afternoon, we are having our pictures taken on the beach. As an immediate family, we get our picture taken once a year. It's easier that way when small children are involved. It's about all I can handle! I'm excited to have them taken on the beach this year. I hope at least one turns out semi-decent.

Picture day, stressful in its own hectic way, also leaves... more

Army Wives & Adoption

Jenna Hatfield — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 01:21:17 +0000

I have a guilty secret: I'm addicted to the Lifetime show Army Wives. Part of it is because I used to be an Army wife. (I'm still married to the same wonderful man. He's just no longer also married to the Army.) The rest of it is the great acting, juicy stories and general drama of the show. There have been some storylines that made me roll my eyes. Other plots have sucked me in without question.

The most recent episode threw a surprise adoption story at me! Those meanie-heads!

I've talked about other guilty secret shows of mine in the... more

My Belated Thoughts on the 16 & Pregnant Finale

Jenna Hatfield — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:00:00 +0000

I was on vacation when the season finale of 16 & Pregnant aired. Upon our arrival home, we had to immediately attend an anniversary party. After we got the kids to bed that night, my husband said, "What do you want to watch?" I didn't have to answer him; he already knew.

As we began watching it, I had hope. Despite the negative comments left on the page by what I hope to be teenagers without an inkling of real life experience or knowledge of grammar, I thought the two parents portrayed themselves as rather responsible, thoughtful teenagers. Yes, they were a pair... more

Book Review: Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult

Jenna Hatfield — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 23:00:02 +0000

I read Handle with Care by Jodi Picoult while I was on vacation last week. I'm going to be honest: I am not a fan. I hate saying that since another of Picoult's books remains my favorite. While I found Handle With Care to be intriguing, the book pushed too many buttons for my liking. The ending, in true Picoult fashion, left me pretty peeved as well.

The premise of the book is that a mother gives birth to a child with osteogenesis imperfecta, otherwise known as Brittle Bone Disease. Through a series of events during the child's fifth year of life, the family ends up suing the mother's original OBGYN for what is known as "wrongful birth." The book follows the lawsuit,... more

Hopes and Dreams

Jenna Hatfield — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:33:11 +0000

I was once told by someone here on the blogs that I didn't have a right to miss my daughter during a Pittsburgh Steelers game. I mean, what if she didn't like football? What if she didn't want to watch the game? Why was I projecting my likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams on a child that wasn't even mine. (Emphasis not my own.)

I kind of chuckled at the harsh response. At the time, my husband and I were already parenting our oldest son. I knew all about the likes and dislikes of a family, the hopes and dreams of a parent and the will of a child. I also... more

Should You Watch 16 & Pregnant Tomorrow Night

Jenna Hatfield — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 12:37:35 +0000

I've been addicted to MTV for a few weeks now. Not for the music videos as they don't seem to air those anymore. Does it make me seem old that I remember videos? In fact, to be honest, when a friend told me to turn it on, I didn't know what channel MTV was on our satellite. And yet, I've become addicted to their show, 16 & Pregnant. Even my husband has been watching with me, leaving us discussing the unique situations for each young mother, father and family.

The premise of the show is that MTV... more

What To Do With Negative Information

Jenna Hatfield — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 14:00:00 +0000

A first mother on a private adoption discussion recently posed a real-life question. I won't give specifics as to protect her situation from public opinion. However, in the most vague of terms, the birth mother found out some not-so-great information about her relinquished child's biological father. She didn't know what to do with it, whether or not she had a duty to tell the adoptive parents and how, if at all, involved she should become.

My advice? I told her to give the adoptive parents the information and let them do with it as they would as they were... more