“I am a chiropractor who specializes in pediatric and pregnancy chiropractic. I am certified in the Webster technique which is a special technique/analysis that helps balance a mom’s pelvic bones and ligaments via a chiropractic adjustment and also helps take stress/torque off of the uterus by finding trigger points on the round ligaments. Not only does it help mom feel and function her best but it helps baby get into the optimal position for childbirth. Ironically, my baby happened to be hanging out happily breech at 39 weeks pregnant.” – Crystal

I had been getting adjusted regularly (almost daily), doing inversions and breech tilts (spinning babies), visualization, ice/heat pack, playing soft music at my pubic bone, etc… BUT my baby boy really was enjoying sitting Indian style/cannon ball in my uterus! My care started off with Alpharetta Women’s Specialists midwife Janet and plans for a North Fulton Hospital waterbith as I had planned with my first son, Alex, who is now 2.5 years. I knew from my first labor and delivery that not all things happen according to the “birth plan” but never did I expect to be full term and not even know who my provider or hospital would be, let alone come to find out at 37.5 weeks that baby boy was not head down.

My midwife, Janet was pregnant and began transferring all her patients due around the holidays (my EDD is 12/23) to another midwife group. Unfortunately ISIS had a midwife whose son had died over Thanksgiving and could not take me, so I was transferred to North Fulton Women’s Specialists. I had one appointment there with the new midwife, Michele, and Dr. Mudugno (whom I saw a couple times at my post-partum checkups from having my first son with Diane Tandy a couple years ago). I was given the option to have an External Cephalic Version performed first thing Monday morning at the hospital in order to get him to turn. I was agreeable to this, seeing as how 1 or 2 out of the 3 OB’s at this new practice were not comfortable doing vaginal breech delivery and I would likely end up with a C section if he wasn’t turned by the time I went into labor.

At the hospital, prior to my ECV, I picked the brains of a nurse that had worked there for a couple decades. I asked if vaginal breech delivery was allowed/ever performed there. She said, not intentionally and hasn’t been done in a very long time. This is when I knew I had to get in with either Dr. Bootstaylor or Dr. Tate ASAP. By the way, the ECV was unsuccessful after two very painful attempts. The Terbutaline Sulfate given to me to relax my uterus, made the rest of my body a nervous wreck. Come to find out that it can cause tremors, tachycardia, palpitations, all of which were happening to me while my baby was getting pushed and pulled in-utero. Not fun! I’m also wondering if I had a mild/moderate allergic reaction because I am allergic to Sulfa drugs. Anyway…

Dr. Tate was booked solid and I couldn’t get an appointment with him until Thursday so I decided to have a consultation with Dr. Bootstaylor Tuesday morning to get his perspective and the diagnostics on this baby’s dimensions via an ultrasound. I was really impressed with all of the midwives at Intown Midwifery and Dr. Bootstaylor when I attended an Intown Midwifery Meet & Greet the prior week. It was confirmed that my baby boy was complete breech, weighing approximately 8.5 pounds based on femur measurement. Dr. Bootstaylor informed me that he will only deliver frank breech (butt presenting first) due to a couple risk factors of cord prolapse, feet coming first, etc. He said we can just wait and see if baby decides to change, I can go into labor spontaneously and then have a c-sect or schedule a c-sect for after 39 weeks. I knew I still had to talk with Dr. Tate and Thursday couldn’t come soon enough.

At my first appointment with Dr. Tate I loved the fact that he took the time (3 hours) to share with me all of the pros/cons of breech vaginal birth. He gave the most thorough informed consent that I have ever experienced and had me sign a few forms about what we discussed. Not too many doctors are willing to take the time to explain the risks, side effects, benefits and alternatives in this much detail. It was so important to me that I got all of the facts to make an informed confident decision. He did a head/body ratio analysis of the baby and my score was a 0.91. He said he is willing to deliver breech vaginally since anything under a 1.1 is ideal for this scenario. I was so relieved to hear this. This meant my baby’s abdomen was the same size or even slightly larger than his head at this point. So during a breech delivery if I am able to push out the butt/body/abdomen then I should have no problem pushing out his head, avoiding one of the risks of breech vaginal delivery, head entrapment. He also stated I had a “proven pelvis” which means I have pushed out an 8.8 pound baby with no complications in the past. My “homework” was lots of walking, sex and nipple stimulation! Sounds like work at 39 weeks pregnant! Lol!

Given my options and the probability of success for vaginal breech delivery I chose to go into labor spontaneously. My baby boy was in the complete breech presentation (he was basically sitting cannon ball/Indian style) at the appointment with Dr. Tate. I promised to call when either my water broke or my contractions are at 6-8 minutes apart every hour. I continued to get adjusted because, regardless if the baby turns or not, chiropractic care helps the body function at its best which I need for an optimal delivery!

12/17/12 7:25 AM Woken up from sleep by a contraction. I felt another about 5 minutes later. I began using the contraction timer I had downloaded on my iPhone the night before. Ironic that I felt the need to go out with my fiancé and 2 year old son as our last meal for a family of 3 the night before! I even took my 39 week pic in front of our Christmas tree and wrote this jingle/caption, “My Christmas Jingle: All dressed up and nowhere to go! It’s raining outside and I wish it were snow. 39 weeks pregnant and 1 to go? Alex is excited to meet his little brother and Santa Claus. Ho ho ho!”

After about 30 minutes of the contractions I realized they were consistently 5-7 minutes apart and I got in touch with my doula and my parents, letting them know what was going on. Since my first son’s labor was over 27 hours I thought I had plenty of time to labor through this first phase in the comfort of my home. My 2.5 year old son and fiancé were sound asleep in bed. I got up and began finishing up the laundry, packing the rest of the hospital bags, getting breakfast ready for my son and his overnight bags packed for the friend of ours that would pick him up from daycare. In this amount of time (2 hours or so) I was able to observe my contractions lasting about 50 seconds, every 5 minutes, consistently. My fiancé woke around 9 and I called Dr. Tate’s office at 9:30 to tell them my progress. I was surprised when they told me to go in to the hospital as soon as possible. I decided I would take a shower and shave my legs before I woke up my son to get him ready for daycare. I hardly felt the contractions in the shower so I extended my stay in there but once I got out, contractions hit me so hard that I began sweating through them, dropped to my hands and knees during them and had to recruit my fiancé for sacral counterpressure to alleviate the intensity. My son woke up worrying about mommy, grabbed mommy’s hand and said “I help you, mommy. I help you.” So sweet! I realized my contractions were getting more serious and productive when my son asked me to read him a book and I couldn’t read 3 words in a row because of the pressure and intensity. It was time to get gone! Lol! After I started saying, “Dear God, help us all.” (My mantra during Alex’s labor/delivery!) My fiance also started realizing we needed to have been on the road a while ago.

We made it out of the house around 10:40 and to my son’s daycare at 10:50… it was a quick drop and run because I was already feeling pressure in the birth canal. I remember my fiancé asking if we should just go to the hospital without dropping our son off at school. I was thinking, “Yes”, but my mind knew that he would probably have missed the birth due to our son not being able to be in the L&D room or just trying to get a toddler to cooperate in such a rushed scenario, so I screamed “Drop him…FASSSST!” As we approached Alex’s school, he began singing, “ Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday mommy, daddy, Robi! Happy Birthday to you!”. Kids are so intuitive! He knew how to make mommy feel better!

We had about 15 minutes to go to get to Emory University Midtown Hospital in the heart of Atlanta…Thank God it wasn’t rush hour, because it took us 25 plus minutes with the traffic we did encounter… and that was with Xavier running 2 red lights in midtown. I was so impressed and surprised by how calm Xavier was during this process. He is typically a type A, almost OCD personality that is very impatient. He showed a lot of calmness during this process which I definitely needed at this stage. It was 11:08, we were on 85 South and my water broke. I began to panic a little. I called my doula and had her call Dr. Tate. Xavier assured me “Just because your water broke doesn’t mean you are having the baby soon/now.” My body was telling me something else. I felt my baby boy slip into the birth canal almost immediately afterward. This whole time I was in the back passenger seat of our SUV, squatting on the floorspace hugging the back of the passenger seat with my head on Xavier’s shoulder, saying “Dear God, help us all!” Visual: I’m 6 feet tall and very athletic build. I don’t fit very well in a floor space of a car. You should have seen the pedestrians and other cars looking in at what the heck was going on in our car? Was that lady shot or something? Haha! Comic relief in between intense urges to push, and I think I did… twice.

11:16 Emory Hospital front entrance is a chaotic traffic jam of Marta buses and backed up valet service… 200 yards to the doors…! I could reach down and feel baby parts coming out of me and was going into shock not knowing if it was feet/arms/cord because it definitely was not a butt or a head! I needed someone to come and sweep me up and fly me to the moon, or at least the labor and delivery room! Not an option. Xavier yelled at a police officer directing the chaos that there was a woman in labor and to take the car…

We both got out and walked about 50 yards… I stole someone’s wheelchair and yelled… “Labor and Delivery… he’s coming out… NOWWWW!” The lady pushing the wheelchair was going about as slow as she could go in the hustling lobby while onlookers are yelling, “She’s in labor!” I decided she needed to see the severity of the situation so I outstretched the waistband of my yoga pants and she and I could see his feet/legs. After 2 other passengers in the elevator got a birds eye view of a woman with 4 legs, they will never again be the same!

“Stand back everyone!” The wheelchair pusher screamed. “ Here we come. Sir, get that door. And that one.” As she is racing me sitting sideways in the wheelchair to the labor and delivery room on the 3^rd floor.” The registration desk is trying to flag us down and get us to register! Really?! We pulled up to the first L&D Room and there he was, the angel of a Dr. that was off-duty but ready and willing to take on this delivery. A L&D nurse pulled out my waistband and said, we’ve got a baby coming out and it’s not a head! A nurse/doctor on each appendage hoisted my petite delicate (haha!) self up on the bed and ripped my pants off…

Dr. Horton did a couple maneuvers with the baby’s arm which was giving him a high five already inside the womb. I had already pushed my baby boy out up to his thighs upon arriving. Dr. Horton had to adjust baby boy’s arm and flex his head forward by some maneuver that I was definitely not expecting!

3 minutes after arriving at the hospital front doors, “I need you to PUSH!” fell on deaf ears in shock from my last 15 minutes of labor. Everyone in the room came together to encourage me, “PUSH Crystal!” and with one room-shattering, bone shaking scream… his head was out and baby Robi Xavier was born at 11:20AM, a strong and healthy 8.7lb, 20 inches long!

I was in shock and in love! I couldn’t believe how fast I had progressed, that I got to have a vaginal breech “Footling?!!!” delivery and that it all felt so efficient and natural and safe! That God really was watching over us, since Dr. Tate didn’t get notice in time, Dr. Horton was the next most experienced vaginal breech delivery doctor and he was almost “waiting” for me outside that room at that time (even though he was technically off-call and getting ready to go home for the day). So many OB’s may have pushed the panic button due to lack of experience, etc… but he was so calm and relaxed and ready.

The unmedicated labor and birth was night and day from my first labor and delivery and my son was wide awake and alert and nursed 3 times from birth to my post-partum room. I felt awesome and ready to leave an hour after delivering. The only weird side-effect was that my legs would not stop shaking like I was freezing cold, and it lasted a good hour, until after I delivered the placenta. They said this is a common effect from the effort of pushing out the baby. The most painful part of my experience was uterine contractions after delivery. When my son nursed, it would send shock like sensations down the inside of my thighs and legs and I got very nauseous several times.

This had to be one of the most adrenaline packed births ever! I’m sorry Dr. Tate was not able to participate due to my fast transition and regret that his OB residents didn’t have the chance to observe another fantastic breech vaginal delivery with him. But I feel grateful for Dr. Horton and blessed that he was calm and cool and had been trained in vaginal breech delivery. I feel grateful for Dr. Tate and his willingness to take on VBAC’s and breech vaginal birth with such confidence in himself but more importantly in the woman’s ability to birth naturally.

So, in my quest to avoid a c-section I met some wonderful providers, toured 3 different hospitals, and finally found the information, peace and clarity that I needed to make a confident decision to have a vaginal breech birth. If not for the experience of Dr. Tate with this and the gentle guidance and time that he took to give me all of the information I needed, I would have spent my last week of pregnancy worried about an eminent c-section rather than focusing on the possibility of a beautiful natural birth. C-section could be the end result any time in birth, but I would hope it is only in case of an emergency. If my body is capable of handling the labor and delivery of my child no matter his presentation, I am ecstatic that I found a provider who is comfortable with that and respects the body’s ability to birth! We are blessed to have a healthy and strong baby boy and happy, healthy and unmedicated mama mia! Robi Xavier is nursing like a pro already and has gained a pound and a half and an inch and a half all in his first week and a half! We are so blessed.

Crystal owns C’hi Chiropractic in Atlanta

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{Editors Note: This story comes to us from a strong young mother. When our births take a turn we did not expect, it can effect how we feel as mothers and women. Postpartum Depression is real. Mothers – you are not alone. Seek support and help in the best way possible to help you heal.}

At nineteen, I found out I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I started talking about what to do. Adoption? Abortion? No, this lady was mine and I was in love with her (we found out at 20 weeks because I was still having periods, so I didn’t have to wait to find out gender!). The next few months felt like they took forever, with multiple complications in the mix.

At 39 weeks, I was induced because of hypertension. They started the pitocin, placed that ball [a Foley Bulb] in to get me started on dilating, and we were on a roll. At 3 am, they checked me, said I was at 5cm, and said that at the rate I was dilating, I should be pushing by dawn. For the next 14 hours, they kept checking with no progress.

They had maxed the pitocin to the highest it was allowed without direct doctors orders. I was contracting, hard. My daughter was stuck, there was no way she was coming out vaginally. At 20 years old, I felt like a failure. I felt like I couldn’t do what a mother should be able to do. As they wheeled me back to the operating room, I cried.

Not because I’d see my daughter soon, but because I didn’t get to experience what everyone else I had talked to got to experience. I hadn’t talked to anyone that had a c-section yet.

At 5:20 pm on May 3, 2012, my daughter Ameriellys was born. She was beautiful. It was wonderful. The hospital stay was fine, though I barely slept because they’d take my daughter to the nursery if I fell asleep at night with her (since I couldn’t move all that much to get her out of the bassinet or change her or anything).

It wasn’t until I got home that I suddenly felt horrible. I was upset all the time. I was snapping at her father constantly. I cried every time I tried to breastfeed because I still hadn’t fully brought in milk, and I felt like it wasn’t going to work. I wanted to do nothing but sleep. I couldn’t do what a normal mother should be able to do because I had major surgery and could barely move.

I felt, again, like a complete failure because I needed help. I realized I had PPD. I tried to fake being happy, but everyone saw I was a wreck. I never went to counseling, I never went and got medication. Instead, I surrounded myself with my wonderful family and support system of friends and the massive family Ameri was born into, and day by day they slowly helped me realize that my daughter needed me.

I may not be perfect, but she loved me. She calmed down when I talked to her, she felt safe when I was near. I may have needed help, but no one became the perfect mother overnight, and every mom asks for help and needs support.

She is currently almost 11 months old, and while I still am not perfect, I’m the perfect mother to her. I filled my time up by going back to school and starting work back up, which helps the 3 sets of grandparents see her because they get to watch her while I do that. Rather than allowing myself to fall back into that darkness, I pushed myself to go do things that I, and my daughter, would be proud of me for doing.

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I was told all of these in one day…

• “I fired my OB at 20 weeks and hired a midwife to have an amazing homebirth.”
• “I found a new OB for my 3rd child, after my previous OB told me I needed cesareans when I didn’t.”
• “I fired my OB and found a new awesome OB to have a wonderful hospital birth last time.”
• “I hired midwives this time to have a healing HBAC.”

This is not about midwife vs. OB. This is about good care provider vs. bad. That simple.

Ladies, please please please choose your care providers carefully. I meet and talk to women who have traumatic hospital AND out of hospital births because of incompetent and disrespectful midwives and OB’s.

I also meet moms who hire wonderful, skilled, amazing midwives and OB’s (sometimes after firing the crappy ones). PLEASE do your work to interview, talk to other clients and patients, ask questions, and don’t be afraid to fire someone and hire someone else. You would do so in any other aspect of your life, so why not for the birth of your child?! I can not say it enough or express how important this truly is.

You can take the most ‘educated’ and ‘informed’ woman and put her in the territory of others who do not support her, in a vulnerable moment, and watch her get abused, mistreated, and her spirit broken. You can not prepare for that. What you CAN do is make sure you only have people who will love you, guide you, be honest with you, and support you in your birth.

Birth is amazing, raw and vulnerable. Only have people there you trust completely.

Photography credit: Dusti Lynn Photography.

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“At 38 weeks pregnant I hired independent midwives to help me have a physiological breech birth at home because the NHS were not supportive of my choices and wanted me to opt for a caesarean. Four weeks and 3 days later my beautiful baby daughter was born at home in record fast timing and it was the most natural and rewarding experience of my life. I have Natal Hypnotherapy and Maya midwives to thank for that. Natal Hypnotherapy gave me the confidence to trust my body and believe in my ability to give birth naturally and Maya midwives supported me, allowing me to trust my instincts and listen to my body before and during the birth. Here is my story.” -Ruth

I had always planned a home birth for my second baby but when I found out she was breech, I was told by the hospital this would be impossible and after an unsuccessful attempt at turning her (ECV) I was given no other option but to have a caesarean. I was distraught, I knew I could deliver this baby normally but was shocked that the hospital were so keen on c-section. They wouldn’t let me leave without consenting to this even though I told them I wanted to explore my options. I was 38 weeks pregnant at this stage and if they had their way I would have had a c-section one week later but I knew baby wasn’t ready and after careful thought and research I told them I wanted to wait and to cancel the caesarean. The majority of staff were not supportive of my choice so I began a quest to find an independent midwife.

Several phone calls later I came across the wonderful Maya midwives, who happened to be experienced in vaginal breech birth and very keen to support me. I was overjoyed and it meant there was a greater chance I could have the home birth I so desperately wanted for my baby.  I withdrew from NHS care and had regular visits from the midwives to check baby’s heart rate etc. and then it was just a waiting game.  I began listening to my Natal Hypnotherapy prepare for home birth CD again every day, sometimes two or three times a day and I made a poster for my bedroom wall with affirmations and other positive thoughts about the birth.

My due date (20th September) came and went and then a week later there were still no labour signs. The midwives advised that I didn’t do anything to augment the labour, such as acupuncture or reflexology because breech babies must come when they are ready if they are going to come at all. So I waited and waited.  Natal Hypnotherapy helped me to remain calm, relaxed and focused at this stressful time when friends and family were growing increasingly concerned. When I reached 42 weeks I decided to go to hospital for a scan and CTG monitoring to make sure everything was ok. The doctors said baby was doing really well and couldn’t find anything at all wrong but would be happier if I’d have a c-section the next day. My instincts told me to wait a little longer and so I agreed to come back two days later for more CTG monitoring. In the meantime I began to prepare myself for the caesarean (by listening to the Natal Hypnotherapy CD) as it was becoming increasingly likely that I might have to give in at some point. Again the CTG monitoring showed that everything was fine but I agreed to go in the next day for my bloods to be taken in case the caesarean was necessary. Although I was more prepared for it, I couldn’t understand how my body could grow this baby, keep her nourished for 9 months and then just abandon her and me when it was time to be born.

That very night I woke at 4am with contractions that felt ‘different’ to the Braxton hicks I’d been having for weeks so I called the midwife, Andy, and she arrived an hour later. I wasn’t in any pain at all but had been preparing for this for months using Natal Hypnotherapy so didn’t really expect to be. There was about an hour where the contractions were really intense but at no time painful and our daughter was born two and a half hours later (bum first) at 7:30. Andy said it was the quickest birth she’d ever seen, so quick that Viv, the second midwife missed it! I was glad I called Andy when I did.  I used only a TENS machine and Natal Hypnotherapy techniques and our beautiful breech baby daughter, Amália Rose, was born calmly and peacefully in our bedroom. Her birthday is 7th October 2012, 17 days past the due date. I couldn’t have hoped for a better outcome, I am so glad that I trusted my instincts and my baby and that I had the support of such wonderful midwives. I will treasure that moment forever.

[Moments after birth with my wonderful midwife, Andy Parker]

 [Breech legs]

 [ Amalia and I in front of affirmations poster I made]

 [Big sister Ania meets Amalia]

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Birth Without Fear was started with a simple Facebook page three years ago today. A vision and passion that has expanded into an inclusive community of informing and supporting. How can we not celebrate this?!

We won’t make you read anything else. Let’s get to the good stuff! Many amazing prizes and tons of opportunities to enter and win!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Birth Without Fear is three years old today! To commemorate this special occasion we compiled links to the Top 10 most popular blog posts of all time here on the Birth Without Fear Blog. So without further ado…

10. Home Birth of Twins Born Past 41 Weeks, One Footling Breech

“…I had been having mild contractions off and on for about the last week, feeling my body right on the edge and knowing our boys were about ready to be born…”

9. Beautiful and Inspiring Pregnancy and Birth Pictures

“…We are strong. We are beautiful. We are inspiring. We are empowered…”

8. Face Presentation Vaginal Birth

“…Not only did she have a successful VBAC in the hospital, but her daughter was birthed with a face presentation (yes, her face was birthed first) weighing 8 lbs 1 oz…”

7. Estimated Due Dates

“…I think most of you know not all women have the same length cycles and ovulate on the same exact day in that uniform cycle. Also, not all women gestate the same, nor babies grow the exact same rate…”

6. More Birth, Breastfeeding and Placenta Pictures Removed From Facebook

“…Sometimes I see a picture that is removed from a social media site, like Facebook, and I understand why. Even if I don’t find it disturbing, I can appreciate how it might be too graphic…”

5. A License to Rape

“…Rape? A doctor? A midwife? Yes. Birth Rape to be more exact. I remember the first time I read about birth rape…”

4. One Extraordinary Birth (Six Days of Labor, 33 Hours between Births, Two Healthy Babies)

“…It wasn’t that I set out to be an enthusiastic proponent of homebirth. As a matter of fact, I hadn’t thought much about what kind of a birth experience I would like to have until I got pregnant…”

3. The Circumcision Decision

“…When I began to make plans for the birth itself, I thought about what would happen on the day of his birth, and circumcision crossed my mind…”

2. The Post Partum Baby Bump: The Truth Revealed with Pictures

“…We are women, we are amazing, beautiful, strong and create miracles! Yet, we are incredibly hard on ourselves…”

1. Breech Babies Are Another Variation of Normal

“…At my ultrasound appointment and 36 weeks pregnant, I was not shocked when the ultrasound technician said, “Yep, she is breech.” I was not surprised, but I was devastated. This was not something I was educated about or prepared for…”

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Some time ago, I wrote a post about Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). That post – which has reached and helped so many – was written before my current pregnancy. Here I sit, pregnant with our second child, and having gone through (and still going through some days) another HG pregnancy.

This time around I had a child to care for as well. He is a wonderful 2 year old and my little survivor of HG in two ways now (his own pregnancy, and this one). But there is another survivor in our home – my husband.

Partners of HG moms suffer as well. HG affects the entire household – how it runs, what foods can be cooked, what scents people can wear (think cologne or shampoo), the level of quiet needed, and the heavy load on the partner in all aspects.

This journey through HG has been hard on myself and my husband. It is hard on me for many reasons – the physical pain, the mental agony, the stress of knowing my baby is in danger from this illness. But my husband has had much of the same stress. He knows the risks – even more so this second time around – and he sees my pain. He was not able to stop my body from doing this, and he felt powerless.

My husband has this to say:

“I apparently always underestimated you before we dealt with HG together. You worked a full time job before becoming pregnant with our son. You did all the shopping, made our meals, washed our clothes, and took care of the house in general. Then the HG hit. It was like a different woman lived in our home. A lifeless, horribly sick, sad woman.

When you were pregnant the first time and had HG, it was so frustrating. No one had answers, and you kept getting worse. Resentment came up in me because I literally had no idea what was wrong with you. You went from normal and active to unable to work or even shower alone. I didn’t understand.

It was scary watching you literally shrivel up before my eyes, day by day. Still no one had answers. Everyone called it normal. Even after we found out what has happening, I wanted a quick fix. Once we found medication that worked for you, it was still a long recovery. I felt horrible because I wanted you back right now and it just wasn’t happening.

It didn’t really strain our marriage in the long run, but I think in the moment it did. It was hard to watch you that way. It was hard to have the stress on me due to you losing your job and being unable to care for the home or yourself. It was hard to accept that your pregnancy would not be normal. When you finally started to recover, towards the end of the pregnancy, it was so nice to have you back.

I think the second pregnancy [my current pregnancy] was worse than the first. We knew it was coming, but had built up hope that maybe you wouldn’t have HG this time. I was working a full time physical job, and knew I still had to come home and take care of the house and our son. I felt HORRIBLE for resenting you, and yet I couldn’t help it.

You didn’t get as bad this time, which was great. But this time looking at our future was harder. I realized that you and our family might not make it through more pregnancies if they were all going to be HG pregnancies. I realized that our dreams of a big family might not become reality because your body might not handle much more of this.

HG affects the whole family. The partner takes the load from the mother most of the time I think, since mom can’t even handle eating, much less housework or childcare. I felt like there was a good amount of information out there for women, but not for the partners. HG is pretty rare and I don’t think people acknowledge the toll it takes on everyone who is part of it.”

We have had many conversations about his feelings of resentment. Yes, it hurts sometimes to know he feels that. But I understand. No one signs up for HG – partners included. This is an illness that can destroy lives and does its best to do so in every way. I can’t imagine watching him be so sick and knowing I can do *nothing* to stop it. There is no cure, there is no scientific explanation. It is something that just “is.”

As we move into the happy time of this pregnancy with my HG backing off almost totally, we are both less stressed and things feel effortless again.

For those who know women who suffer from HG – remember the partners. Give them a hug when you come over to help. And please – come over to help! Running a load of laundry or doing dishes will be appreciated by not only the mother, but also the partner.

As you can see in this photo (from the end of my first pregnancy), life does regain balance and joy after HG. But the journey through it changes your perspective…and perhaps made us both more thankful for that lovely day at the park we were enjoying when this was taken.

For more information about Hyperemesis please check out HelpHer – a wonderful organization looking for reasons, and a cure.

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To my little sister,

You’re 38 weeks pregnant now, and as you approach your ‘due date’, there are some things I want you to know.

This time is sacred. I bet you hate hearing that, but it is. Right now your baby is listening to your heartbeat, sleeping and moving and safe within you. Women look at you, and envy your position. You are at the most sacred moment of life, you reflect the divinity of the feminine existence. Right now you hold the energy of the universe; the reason why there is life on Earth. Right now your body is sustaining two lives.

It’s uncomfortable. Hell, yes it is. You’re tired, and with every right to be. You’re angry and hey, that’s ok – you’ve got a flood of hormones making you feel like you could simultaneously cry, scream and laugh. Your feet hurt. Your legs hurt. Your back hurts. Your breasts hurt. It’s likely you’ve also got some morning sickness, along with cravings, which is kind of a sad and ironic combination.

You’re scared. You’re wondering ‘how will I do this’. Your son becomes a big brother. Your love multiplies, along with the stress. The laundry, the cleaning, the bathing, the sleeping… it’s already hard and what if it gets harder? You’re sick of the worry, you just want the baby here so you can get on with it. You’re feeling impatient; you want this new chapter to just start already.

The birth. Then there’s the birth. Intense and powerful. In some ways, the second time around is easier, and in some ways so much harder.

But I want to tell you a secret.

It’s a secret of the sisterhood.

It’s a secret that I want to share with you, that I’ve known about you my whole life.

It’s that you can do it.

You’re my little sister but now you’re a woman, about to become a mother of two. Look at you, you’re growing a baby. You created life. You’re a mother and a woman; you’re part of the divine feminine, a sisterhood of mothers who have felt the energy of the universe within them and then given it to the world. You are strong. Two or three or four more weeks of pregnancy is tough, but you can do it. Birth is intense, but you are strong. Being a mother to two amazing – you don’t love either one less than the other, you love them uniquely, and you marvel at their being and their individuality.

I can hardly believe that my sister, who used to steal my baby doll or run around chasing the ram in the back paddock or throws sticks on cars from up on the cliff, has become a 25 year old woman who knows the strength and the secrets of life, of adulthood, of womanhood. I’d like to think I helped, that I’ve been an ok big sister, but the truth is you’d have done it regardless. You’re strong, you’re powerful. You’re a woman in a million different ways – a sister, a daughter, a mother, a lover, and independent soul with hopes and dreams with determination. You can be anything, do anything, have anything, create anything. From two tiny cells you’ve given your energy to make a baby. Making anything else is no where near as hard as that.

You’ll have a newborn, a tiny creature, and you’ll see your son grow before your eyes, and it will be bittersweet: your heart will ache at the thought of him growing up while bursting with pride at him taking on a whole new role. You’ll see your new baby and wonder where your first tiny baby went. And you’ll cry, and they’ll be hot tears of joy and regret wondering if you’ve ‘done the right thing’ by adding to your family, but it’ll be ok. Baby blues are painful but after a week you should start feeling better.

Enjoy these last weeks, as uncomfortable as they are. You hold the energy of the universe within you. My little sister, I’m proud of you. Slow down, there’s no need to rush these days. Your baby will come, days will pass into weeks – months – years, one day this moment will be a distant memory you can barely catch: B’s baby talk, his baby walk, the one inside you moving and waiting until the perfect time to enter the world…

Time will pass, as time always does, and things will happen, as things always do. You’ll get there. You’ll birth. You’ll bring a new life to this world. Now is the time for waiting, for capturing your breath, for clearing your head, for making memories and preparing to meet your bundle. Perfection cannot be hurried. Masterpieces are done when they are done. One day you’ll miss this. Make sure you remember it.

xxx

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Just wanted to share this picture and the story of my first childbirth experience. This is a picture taken unprofessionally by my sister after the water birth of my daughter 8 months ago. My story is rather long but I am hoping my story shows women that they can do it too!

The pain started around 5:30 am on the 24th of June. At 11:30, I called my midwife and told her my symptoms and she said it sounds like early labor but to monitor contractions and call back in an hour. I called back at about 1:00 pm and asked if I could just go to the hospital to get my cervix checked and she said they might end up keeping me there, so I waited. For the days prior, I kept bothering my husband to clean the pool so I could enjoy it one last time and the night of the 23rd, he emptied it and began filling it the morning of the 24th.

The pain was really starting to hurt but we waited til the pool was filled before heading to my MILs house which was around 6pm. We got there and I was still hurting but it was all tolerable pain, it was just uncomfortable. At 8 pm, my step-mom called me and timed my contractions and said they were about 2 minutes apart which is what my husband said earlier when we monitored them around 1 pm. She told me to call my midwife and let her know so I did and she said she could meet us at the birthing center at 9 pm to check me. At first we weren’t going to take our bags but then decided to. On the way over I told my husband, “watch me still be at 1 cm and have a UTI or something”. We got there and she checked me and said “you’re 5-6cm dilated and you’re staying!” I couldn’t believe it! She had me walk up and down the hallways to get contractions to start so I walked around for a little while, about an hour, and when I stopped I went to a 6. My step-mom and sister helped so much with rubbing my back during contractions!

The midwife suggested breaking my water to dilate faster, so me and my husband discussed it and decided that was the way to go. Since I wasn’t really feeling terrible contractions, I wasn’t sure if I was “ready” to feel them so that’s why it was hard for me to make the decision to have my water broken. I asked my midwife if the contractions were going to be painful after they broke my water and she said there will be a lot of pressure. They broke my water at 11:29 pm and I went to 7 cm. Within 45 minutes I was at a 10 and ready to get into the birthing pool which felt VERY good! Even during the “strong” contractions I couldn’t even feel them really! This was with no medications at all. The pushing part didn’t hurt but just felt a little uncomfortable but I knew I was getting closer to meeting my daughter each time!

My daughter was born at 1:24 am on 25 June. I had a really good breathing strategy which helped so much! The relaxing, classical music I had playing on Pandora made it so much easier as well! I could feel my daughter moving further down and everything, I am so glad that I didn’t get any medication because it was really an awesome feeling and wasn’t even painful! The part that hurt the worst was when they pushed on my stomach to get the blood out and to contract my uterus after I had her! The stitches also hurt since the numbing medicine couldn’t get all the way inside since that’s where I tore. It was only a first degree laceration, only tissue no muscle. There were quite a few tears though so it took them about an hour to stitch me up.

I hope that this gave some inspiration to soon-to-be mamas! Childbirth is all on how you envision it. If you let it be painful then it will be. But if you really think about the amazing thing that your body is doing and just relax and let it happen then it makes it so much easier!

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I have had 5 1/2 years to reflect on the birth of my daughter. Our story is a story of loss, heartbreak, faith, triumph, perseverance, and love…. so much love. – Brienna

I married my husband in October, 2006. We had both decided to wait a couple years to have children. Three short months later, I received one of the biggest shocks in my life. I went to my general practitioner for anxiety – I thought I was losing my mind. I couldn’t sleep, I was moody, I was freaking out about EVERYTHING (just ask my husband). My doctor gave me a urine test, which I suppose is standard procedure before prescribing anti-anxiety medication. When she walked back in the room with her prescription pad, she sat down with a big smile on her face. She said, “Well, I can’t write you a prescription for anxiety medication, but I AM writing you one for prenatal vitamins.” I was in shock. There was a mirror on the back of the door, and I remember looking in the mirror. My face was turning bright red, and the first words out of my mouth were, “How am I going to tell my Daddy?” I was by no means a child at 22, but I was terrified to tell my dad because he would then know that I really was “enjoying all the benefits of marriage” I was always Daddy’s little girl, and this admission would be mortifying! As I left the office, I debated calling my husband and telling him, but he ran a brokering firm at the time and I knew he would be beyond busy because it was a Friday. So I decided to drive to my parent’s house and break the good news to my mom. She was THRILLED! Then my Dad came home from work and I had to tell him too, because my mom was running around screaming like a mad woman. I was scared for nothing – he started making plans to take the whole family out to dinner! I supposed I should contact Troy (my husband) next considering he was going to be a Daddy after all. He answered after 2 rings. I told him that I couldn’t get the medication I wanted, and the next words out of his mouth were, “you’re pregnant.” He knew. I don’t know how, but he just knew.

When I was about 9 weeks pregnant I started to notice some spotting. My mom drove me to my OB’s office for an ultrasound. I was terrified. The doctor located a baby’s sack in my uterus, but she couldn’t find a heartbeat. My mom was just squeezing my hand. Right as I felt my eyes well up with tears, she moved the transducer a little and found another sack with a heartbeat pounding away! I had conceived twins, but only one was developing. I was so relieved. I still had a baby. The doctor explained that the other embryo had never developed.

The next couple months of my pregnancy were completely uneventful. I had morning sickness, but it went away by my 4th month. At 17 weeks and 3 days pregnant we scheduled an appointment to find out the sex of the baby, and my husband accompanied me to my ultrasound. When the tech started scanning she was all smiles, and so were we. As I watched her scan my belly I noticed her face change. She looked at me and told me I was going to have a little girl, but the doctor was going to need to talk to us. She told me that usually the doctor liked to be the one to tell us bad news, but she wanted to give me a head’s up that our baby had a couple of defects that they needed to look into. She said the defects effected three main organ groups of the body. We were not shown to an appointment room. The nurse had us go back out into the waiting room with all of the other women to wait for the doctor to look at the scans. We were given a couple ultrasound photos to take with us, and a box of tissues.

I couldn’t handle the waiting room. All of those happy pregnant women sitting there with their big bellies. I started bawling, and my husband took me into the hallway. He told me that we needed to wait and hear what the doctor said before I let my mind wander too far into despair. We reentered the office right as they were calling me back. The doctor was already in the room when we entered. She told us that this was one of the worst parts of her job. We were informed that our baby girl had a defect called Gastroschisis, meaning her bowels(intestines) were located on the outside of her abdomen. She also had a bright spot on her heart indicating a possible hole, and three corneoplexus cysts on her brain. Since three major organ groups were affected she was nervous that the baby had Trisomy 13 which is almost always fatal. The receptionist scheduled us an appointment for the next day with a perinatologist.

We walked to the car in silence. I just sat staring out the window driving home. We were supposed to call our mom’s immediately after the appointment to let them know if the baby was a boy or a girl. I kept looking at my phone in my lap, but I just couldn’t bear to make the call. Eventually my phone rang while my husband was pumping gas, and I answered. My mom was so excited when I picked up. She said, “Well? What is it?” I bit my lip, and my chest started heaving. She asked me what was wrong, and I finally squeaked out, “It’s a girl, but…” “A girl,” she said. I knew she wanted a girl so bad. I started sobbing. I told her there was something wrong with the baby. I needed my mom and Daddy in that moment, so I asked her if I could come over with Troy. When we got there, my Daddy wasn’t there. My mom told me that he couldn’t be there. He couldn’t see me right now because his heart was too broken for me. I later found out that he drove to a parking lot and sat there while he cried. We showed my mom the ultrasound pictures and you could clearly see the bowel on the outside of her belly. She told us to have faith, and to call her as soon as we were done at the perinatologists office the following day. Troy called his parents. I couldn’t do it. I just sat in the shower crying. I cried all night, and all the next morning.

We saw the perinatologist, Dr. Siddiqui the next afternoon at 1. He gave us the same information about the likelihood of our baby having trisomy 13, and wanted to do an amniocentesis. I am terrified of needles, and now I was going to have a 7 inch needle inserted into my stomach to draw out amniotic fluid. Oh NO! I was about to vomit. They told me I had to stay perfectly still so the doctor wouldn’t hit the baby with the needle. I knew my Nana lost a baby to an amniocentesis right before she was due to give birth. I was TERRIFIED. They held me down and stuck a needle through my belly and into my uterus. It was awful. The procedure was a success, and we were told they would have the test results regarding my baby’s chromosomes back in about a week. We went to the store that night, and I saw a little yellow stuffed duck in the baby aisle. I picked it up, and knew it had to come home with us. I slept with that duck every night for a week. I would sit in the shower and pray. I would sing my baby, “You Are My Sunshine.” I was determined to make my little girl know she was special!

Friday came and my phone rang. The woman was from Dr. Siddiqui’s office. She said, “Congratulations! Your baby has normal Chromosomes! Oh, and she’s definitely a girl.” It was officially the happiest day of my life up until that point. We had to schedule bi-monthly appointments for the next couple months with Dr. Siddiqui, along with our monthly appointments with our regular OB. Dr. Siddiqui told me I would need a C-section… and I never believed him.

My OBGYN office was a group practice, so I had to see 7 different doctors. Only 2 of them were comfortable delivering my baby vaginally. At our next appointment, we were to see Dr. Megan Kessler. I had never met her, but as soon as she walked in our room the first words out of her mouth were, “Friends, this too shall pass.” I knew she was the one. She was going to deliver my baby. We still had to see the other two doctors in the practice, and pray that Dr. Kessler was on call when I went into labor, but I had faith everything would work out for me. I decided at that point, with her reassuring words, in the middle of that examination room that I was going to choose JOY. And I did.

We had to have a cardio-scan for the baby, and discovered the spot on the babies heart was gone. It just disappeared. A true miracle. We were blessed in a way, because people pay up to $400 to have 3D/4D ultrasound pictures done of their babies, and we had them every other week for months as part of our treatment! I have an entire album of my daughter’s in-utero photographs. Dr. Siddiqui monitored my little girls bowels for the next couple months to make sure they weren’t swelling. He was still determined I was going to have a section, but I knew different. He reminded us after every appointment that Gastroschisis baby’s come early and fast. He said there is a great instance of third trimester miscarriage. I didn’t let it dishearten me…. my baby was strong. She was a fighter.

We signed up for natural child birth classes, and though our situation was a little different than the other couple’s, we had a great time and learned a ton about natural child birth and Lamaze. We toured Cincinnati Children’s hospital where our daughter would spend the first part of her life. Everything was great, and I was so happy. We decided to name our little girl Bryleigh Day. Bryleigh means “jovial” or “happy”, and I knew that the moment that child was born would be the happiest day of my life.

I had an ultrasound at 36 weeks in Dr. Siddiqui’s office. He noticed Bryleigh’s bowels were beginning to swell, and told us it was time for her to come out. My OB’s office called to schedule an induction for the next week, and my favorite doctor was on call that next Friday. I knew I would see my baby girl in 1 week!

All through the second part of my pregnancy we were making plans. I knew that I wouldn’t hold my baby when she was born. Only my husband and I were allowed to be in the room when she came into this world. There would be many doctors on hand and a transfer unit in place to take her to the hospital as soon as she was stabilized. My husband would go with our baby, and I would be alone. I knew in my heart that if something were to happen, if she didn’t make it through her first night, she shouldn’t be alone. Her daddy would be there. He would be holding her hand. She would know she was loved.

I went out to dinner with Bryleigh’s Godmother and Godfather the night before my induction. We had a wonderful Mexican dinner, and good laughs – the perfect medicine for anxiety! We were scheduled to be at the hospital at 5 o’clock the next morning. I didn’t sleep a wink.

We gave the nurse our birth plan when we got settled into our room. It was a high-risk room, so there were no windows, but the bed was EXTRA comfy. My nurse knew I did not want any pain medicine, and started a Pitocin drip. The first hour was easy. I was talking and laughing- then they turned up the drip…. twice. I couldn’t get on top of the pain. My doctor ruptured my membranes and when I stood up, they proceeded to gush all over my husband’s feet as I was leaning on him swaying my hips (he was wearing leather flip-flops… bless his heart). I tried the birth ball, a rocking chair… nothing made it easier. They kept upping the Pitocin! It was excruciating, but I knew we needed to get Bryleigh out. I was being given the chance to try to deliver vaginally, but Bryleigh couldn’t show too much stress or I would be sectioned. After 8 1/2 hours of natural labor, I broke. I needed the relief. The emotions were too great – the pain was too much – all the fear I had been denying for the past 2 months came crashing down on me in my reality. I asked for the epidural. I felt instant relief. I was so thankful. Troy’s parent’s had driven 4 1/2 hours to be there, and my mom had come too. They were finally allowed in. My best friend came too. We all spent time together for a little while, and then I started to feel off. My blood pressure dropped to 60/30. People were running around. My epidural wasn’t running down like it was supposed to. It was running up, and I couldn’t feel myself breathe anymore. I actually couldn’t make myself breathe! They pulled me up to sitting so gravity could do its thing. I was okay again – I just couldn’t lay back down. A little while later, I started to feel cold. I was shivering, but only at 6 centimeters dilated so I wasn’t in transition. I felt like I had the flu. The nurse took my temperature and I had fever of 104 degrees. Immediately antibiotics were given. It was hell. The anesthesiologist was holding my hand as I shook. I could see he was scared. He still hadn’t left because of what happened with my epidural. My doctor put heated blankets on me to help with my shaking. They went out in the hall to talk and left me with my husband, my best friend, and my nurse. We later learned that when the anesthesiologist and Dr. Kessler stepped out into the hallway, they hadn’t realized that Troy’s mom and my mom were in the hall. The anesthesiologist was angrily telling my doctor that she was going to lose me and my baby if she didn’t section me now! My doctor knew how much a vaginal delivery meant to me, so she was giving me as much leeway as she safely could. Our mother’s were obviously sobbing….

Dr. Kessler came back in my room and said she needed to check me again. If I hadn’t progressed she was going to section me. Honestly, through the delirium of the fever, I didn’t even care at that point. I was done. My body had had enough. She checked my cervix, and I was 9! After 3 hours of being stuck at 6, I was a 9! She told me they were going to wheel me into a surgical room for precautions, but she believed in me. She told me I needed to be strong, but she knew I could do it, I just had to do it fast.

My nurse changed at this point. I met my new nurse in the delivery room, along with 15 other doctors from Children’s Hospital, and the pediatrics unit from the hospital I was birthing in. I started pushing. I was still only 9 centimeters dilated, but we didn’t have the time to wait. The nurse put her hands on the top of my belly and pushed down…. hard. My epidural had been turned off for a while now, and it hurt. Oh, it hurt. Dr. Kessler told me to sit straight up as much as I could while the nurse continued to bare down on my stomach. Forceps were used, my fever had reached 105.1,and my baby girl was born into this world at 11:52pm. Just 8 minutes longer, and she would have been born on my mother’s birthday. Bryleigh was blue and unresponsive. It took about 30 seconds for me to realize she wasn’t crying. Dr. Kessler was sewing me up and I could hear her saying, “come on baby….come on baby.” Almost 4 minutes later, we heard our Bryleigh Day cry. She was inserted into a bag full of saline up to her chest, and was in an enclosed bed for transport. Our parent’s were briefly allowed in to see the baby. It had been 5 minutes since I heard her cry, and they took her. I never even got to see her- she was too far away. My dad was able to snap a quick picture on his camera, and my husband and my daughter were rushed away from me. All I had from all of that was a single picture.

I was stabilized, and my fever started to break. I was taken to a room with my mom and my best friend, Ryan. I didn’t have a baby with me, so my room was tiny…. it could only fit a bed and a side table. The nurse asked me if I wanted a sandwich, and I did! I wanted a turkey sandwich so bad!! My mom and Ryan went to the cafeteria to grab themselves something to eat, and I waited on that blessed sandwich. After an hour I really had to pee. I buzzed the nurse multiple times and never got a response. I was told to not get up and try on my own when she had put me in my room, but now when I needed someone, no one was there. I got up and tried to make the 3 steps to the bathroom. My legs gave out and I fell. Hard. I was sitting in a pile of blood now, and didn’t know what to do. My mom came back and helped me up into the bathroom. The nurse came back and told me that she had said not to get up! Are you kidding me?? She asked me if I wanted something for the pain….. um, YES PLEASE! We ate cheesecake from the cafeteria all together, my mom, Ryan, and me. They eventually had to leave, so we said our goodbyes after trying my luck with a breast pump for the first time. My nurse never came back. We were put in that room at 12:30am, and I didn’t have anyone check on me until 7 the next morning! They forgot about me because I didn’t have a baby in my room to check on. I had no pain medicine, and I’m still waiting on that turkey sandwich!

Part 3: Meeting my little girl

The next morning, Troy came to the hospital to see me. Bryleigh had had a surgery to secure her intestines inside a silo (which pretty much looks like a giant rubber condom held up vertically by a suspension bar over her).

She had done amazing, and he held her hand through the night…. still wearing those fluid-covered leather flip-flops…. EW. My Daddy showed up with a turkey sandwich from Panera (he’s my hero!). The on-call doctor wants to keep me, but I refuse. It’s 10am at this point, and I’m going to see the little girl I birthed 10 long hours before. I was ready to go by the time the doctor came to see me. They put me in a wheel chair, and I made my way out of the hospital to meet my baby.

I was so nervous scrubbing into the neonatology unit at Children’s. Troy walked me into a giant room with 8 “pods” where my baby was. She was in the second bed on the left. As I approached her bed, I started to cry. I couldn’t even see her face through all my tears. She was so small. We were told that Gastroschisis babies were always tiny, but my little girl actually had rolls. I was then told when they weighed her she was 7lbs. 13oz., and the healthiest Gastro baby they had seen!

[They would strap her arms down so she couldn't grab her silo]

We weren’t allowed to stay with her. They made an exception for Troy the first night, but we couldn’t sleep there. Our house was 30 minutes from the hospital. Thank goodness my husband took FMLA, and he was able to have almost 3 weeks off work. We would arrive at the hospital at 7am, and leave at 1am every night/morning. I pumped every two hours in that hospital for weeks as my baby got stronger. She wasn’t able to eat anything until her intestines made their way back into her belly. When gravity had done its thing, another surgery was scheduled. Bryleigh had her first surgery on the night she was born at only 2 hours old, and her next exactly one week later. Her surgery went wonderfully, and her belly was closed up. I still had never held my baby or changed her diaper. 2 days later her bowels moved for the first time! This meant they were working and they could start feeding her….. 1 ml a day. It was such a slow-go. If at any time she threw up, they would have to back her feeds off and start over.

Some days were overwhelming. I would just sit there and cry. I was told it was extremely rare for a baby who had not been orally fed for so long to ever accomplish successful breastfeeding. I kept my dream alive. I would prove them wrong. Day after day, we would hear the code sirens turn on. Every doctor and nurse would take off running to one of the other pods on the floor to save a baby. Many parents lost their little ones while I was there (Bless them). I remember Bryleigh looking up at the ceiling all the time and smiling. The nurses would tell me she was smiling at the angels. I found myself noticing little gold plaques on the rocking chair I was sitting in, or the stool my foot was on. I asked a nurse what they were, and she told me all the furniture was donated from the nurseries of babies who hadn’t made it. I knew at that moment how very blessed I was. I was soon able to change Bryleigh’s diaper, and give her a bath, and a couple days later- when she was 2 1/2 weeks old, I held my little girl for the first time. I held her for 6 hours, and it was the greatest feeling in the world.

[The first time my husband held Bryleigh]

[Bryleigh and her Grampa]

We were moved into our own room at that point. We could finally stay overnight with our baby. I was allowed to try to nurse my baby… She latched on THE FIRST TIME!!!! It was such a personal victory! Bryleigh and I did it! We spent the next week making sure she kept her milk down. On September 20th, 2007, one day before my birthday, 3 weeks and 6 days after Bryleigh’s birth, the doctors came in during surgical rounds and told me to take my little girl home.

Bryleigh is now 5 1/2, healthy, brilliant and thriving. She hold the record for being the fastest “healing” Gastroschisis baby to be released from Cincinnati Children’s hospital. I did deal with post-pardom depression, and post-traumatic stress from her birth, but I know how truly BLESSED I am. I wanted to share my story for the mom’s in our community who don’t get the perfect birth… the ones who feel cheated and lost. I hope this story helps someone fine strength. I hope it helps someone see the silver lining. I was lucky, I know that. I still thank God for my little girl every day, and the joy she has brought me.

[Bryleigh and I on her first day of school]

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