Bitches Coz

Anyone for Tea?

2016-05-07T03:41:00.000-07:00

It is said that bantering between Winston Churchill and Lady Astor was rife and quite often amusing. The infamous quote where Lady Astor said, “Winston if you were my husband, I would poison your tea.” and, Winston in reply said, “Madam if you were my wife, I would drink it.” is quite amusing but, in fact very close to home. When I think of the male role models I have had over the years, two of the three, remind me of the desperation and confusion that must have gone through their minds as to whether to drink the potion, or not! To say this confusion played a big part in their lives is an understatement.

Two vibrant, articulate, handsome men caught in a web of a very evil, conniving, self-centered, ogre of a woman. Two self-reliant men, capable of anything yet, vulnerable to their own detriment. Two men who nursed, cared for, and loved their first wives to the end. Two strong men , both fragile enough to fall prey to a spider so calculating, able to draw them into her web of deceit and lies. Two men, who did nothing, to deserve this fate. Two men, whose only thoughts were to love, and to be loved in return.

The first of these three men escaped from the web but, not without battle fatigue or, without the sting that she would inflict on him. Yes indeed he escaped her clutches, but to do so he suffered dearly, but he kept strong with the love that he had to offer. Even she could not take that love that was in his heart. Yes, he was younger, stronger and found someone that would love him and be with him to this day. However, the love that he found, created a stronger deadlier venom in the evil spider from whom he escaped - a venom that one can only fear. Fear and stay clear of her webs.

From the very day he left her life, her rampage of terror gained momentum. From that very day she gathered allies. She gathered them to connect by a mutual relationship, a resemblance to friendship, and once she had gained their strength she would devour their very being, and cast them from her side forever.

She developed a very cunning persona. Outwardly she was the pillar of society, the pillar of the church, the pillar of compassion and caring, but her victims fell into her poisonous web. The victims, or people she cared for, would be stripped of their nearest and dearest, stripped of their possessions and totally dependent on the spider. Then, as sure as the sun rises, they would be stripped of their lives.

The two men had no chance. They could not see nor foretell their fate. This black widow spider was about to serve them tea and they had no choice but to drink it. When each of the two men entered into her life, she devoured their prior existence, she excluded friends, family, and the very things that indeed gave them pleasure, their sport, their books, their computers, their love for others. She possessed their minds and in so doing convinced those around them that she was indeed the carer, the lover, the wife.

Both of these two men both begged to know why they were in this situation. Alas the convincing spider gained control of their medications, their activities and their bank balances. After all it was not difficult at this point to convince them that their only activity was to visit another doctor, to find yet another disability that drew them closer to their death.

So convincing is she, that right to the end, she would strip them of their minds, their sight and their hearing, all in order to keep her web intact. At the end she would draw on her rent a crowd of friends (all of whom were as deceitful as she) to cover her tracks so as not to lose traction to her lies and deceit. In doing so, would leave a path of broken friends and family to wonder how anyone could act with such evil in her heart. (A heart made of stone)

These two men died in a delirium of wonder, both suffering more than during their time in military service, both wondering what they had done to deserve this in their final days. Both begged to drink that tea and go over the mountain to a new life. The third man is bruised and frail now, but knows that he will pass in the arms of a woman who is the love of his life, a woman that has given him his heart back and a woman who returns his love, a woman who cares deeply.

To all three men I offer you peace. To the two men already gone, I pray you will find your friends and family in the next life. I pray that those friends and family will take you in their arms and give you comfort as has the thirds man’s wife. I pray that you will wake from your slumber of pain and find wings of angels and fly. As for me, I miss you all dearly. And as I sort my way through this seemingly drunken debacle, if I was ever to see this woman again, I know as Bessie Braddock said to Winston, the scene would be set for her from me. This spider’s words would be those of Bessie Braddock and they would be “Winston you are Drunk” and I would say to her as Winston said “Yes, madam I am drunk, but tomorrow you will still be ugly, very ugly and evil.”

Jenny Craig and the Bulimic Diet Plan

2016-04-20T01:26:00.001-07:00

Strangely enough, for my whole life most people have chosen to never tell me the truth and inevitably the truth always comes out at some stage. No matter how simple the question, they simply cannot give me a straight answer. Funny really, a gay guy wanting a straight answer. Though in my heart I know that the lie is there, and the more I search for the truth, the deeper they build or extend the lie. And sure enough when the truth is out I work myself up to such a state that I’m projectile puking like a Jenny Craig bulimia diet plan. Sadly, I am not skinny and I do apologize to those that suffer from the disease.

I am seriously wondering why people can’t be open? Yes, the truth may hurt sometimes but, at least it is the truth, and there is no white washing it. In my heart of hearts I know that the deception is there and the more I delve the deeper the wound, the more fabricated the lie becomes. For instance a couple of years ago we were organizing our trip to Europe and I was discussing my thoughts of the plans to my friend to discuss with her husband. I would ask her to run my thoughts past her husband. She was convincing in the beginning that she would discuss when he got home from work. Days would go by and I would repeat my questions and either she would avoid (pretend she never read my messages) or tell me he had to race out early for work, or would return from work tired and go straight to bed or golf days were on etc etc. The little fibs kept building and my curiosity and wanting an answer was wearing thin. It came to the Friday and she avoided the topic by saying she would speak with him on the weekend. Sure, I thought (NOT)! She is avoiding, fibbing, hiding something, or was too embarrassed to tell me she was a tight ass (which I already had known so no need hide). That very last night after finishing my talks with her and her telling me she would ask him on the weekend, I was running down my newsfeed on FB to see her husband say “Enjoying Turkey” and photos to match. The next day I thought, ‘I won’t let on.’ So, when I spoke to her asking how she was going explaining my thoughts to her husband, she said she would ask as soon as he got home from his golf. I let her run with her deception until a day or two later I ask if his game was in Turkey? Turkey she proclaimed, with a dash of guilt. Yes, I said I saw him on FB. The excuses came left right and centre as to why she had not told me. None of which would have taken precedence over truth, but hey she promised never to lie again, we went on our holiday of Europe and the Turkey saga is behind us.

salon.com

Having given an example of a simple lie, I wonder why do people have to do it? Why can’t they be open? They can be forthright in business dealings. Forthright in their political and religious beliefs but when asked some simple question from a friend or relative does it need the deceit? Please, don’t tell me they didn’t want to hurt my feelings! That’s what it does big time with the barrage of cover-ups and avoidance of topic because the truth comes out in the smallest of ways, and cuts like a surgeon’s scalpel.

Is it that some people are more prone to being lied to than others? Do they expect me to be like a policeman and search for the truth? Or do they really think I am a fool who is gullible enough to let it go without question? Why is it that those who have been hurt badly must be subjected to more deceit from their closest and dearest?

Simply I put I to my jury of readers - why is it so?

Until next time cheers, care for yourselves and those around you.

If it is Flooded - Forget It

2016-03-13T04:35:00.001-07:00

‘If it is flooded, forget it!’ - This very successful advertising campaign is conducted every summer with the onset of the wet season. This campaign tells us to never assume anything. Do not assume the depth of the water. Do not assume the height and power of your car. Do not assume the strength of current. Do not assume your level of intelligence.

This is certainly fair comment. We should not assume that conditions at any one time will be the same as the last time we visited. It’s also a fair assumption that we should take care, that we should be mindful, even if we feel it is ok, that we could put others in danger. This campaign targets all drivers, both experienced and the not so experienced, as no one sector has the mortgage on stupidity.

Other media campaigns have targeted many worthwhile causes and prove that these are very powerful tools to change the mindset of society. We have seen campaigns targeting the use of mobile phones while driving; targeting drivers not leaving children and animals in the car while parked; targeting having each and every passenger, including animals, buckled up and safe. The iconic campaign - ‘Drink and drive, and you’re a bloody idiot’ has been a major success, with drink driving now being socially unacceptable, and truly changing the behavior of a nation.

The government has targeted many areas over the years, from obesity, lifestyle, alcohol, drugs, etc etc. Cigarette advertising has ceased. In shops tobacco products are now stored behind closed doors so they are not visible or attractive to the young. No-one under eighteen is able to buy tobacco or alcohol products. All of these campaigns are valid and, even though tobacco is still glorified along with alcohol in Hollywood movies, the use of tobacco products has certainly declined majorly in recent years. I am not so sure the alcohol consumption message is getting through yet! As people seem to think that someone else is responsible for our behavior these days, these government campaigns will become more intense and attempt to change the way we live our lives. The government will attempt to become our moral compass and change our behavior through media campaigns, rules and regulations, and fees and fines. Is this a good thing? I do not know and I will let you be the judge.

However, if you doubt the effectiveness of advertising campaigns, just drive your modest little sedan between the hours of 7 and 9 in the mornings and, again in the hours of 2 and 4 in the afternoon and you will find the media campaigns for 4WDriving has encouraged these drivers to believe that they can do anything. These drivers know all the conditions of the road, whether its flooding or fine weather. One could say they are bullet proof, and their 4WD’s are designed for the rough conditions that we call school zones. The lady that whips off her belt and beats the snake to death is alive and well, with the 4x4’s, butt whipping those in smaller cars in the school zones.

Quite often you see them mounting curbs, nosing their way in to lanes, parking wherever they want, intimidating the small cars, and why? Because the advertising campaigns that the major car manufacturers run, show the captive audience, that these creatures of the off road can do anything. They are big and robus,t and appear to be able to go anywhere. Do we see those manufacturers tagged with the slogan ‘Drive moderately’ as you do with liquor shop advertising. I don't think so!

How many times do you have to hear your rear cameras going off to tell you that this off road creature is up your tail and they mean business with that 10 tonne bull bar. I am sure the beeps of the camera are sounding out a warning that I am about to be violated in my derriere. Or, is it screaming, ‘Get over! This bull bar means business!’ After all it can climb mountains, drive through rivers, run along our sandy beaches, and my car is a mere pebble in its way.

Yes, advertising is a great tool and it shows us to be aware, to take care, but it also works on the other side of the pendulum building up an image of self importance and invincibility. God knows how many of these drivers believe these campaigns that they can do anything and don't have to think. This vehicle climbs cliffs, crawls across boulders and flies across the outback so my anxiety level has increased. The tools I have taken from those campaigns shows me there are a few tools behind the giant wheels around me.

I am not jealous of these creatures of the outback but, while in the cities, do they think that they own the roads as well. Do you see people like me driving across the great outback in my sedan or driving along our pristine beaches? The answer is, ‘No’. Because the manufacturer of my car did not advertise my car was bullet proof. Even my parking assist tells me to proceed with care. When I start it, an ‘accept ‘ sign makes me press, to say I am aware of the navigation system. Maybe the 4WD’s should have an ‘accept’ that they share the road with others that are smaller than they are and proceed with care.

These two sides of the pendulum demonstrate just how effective advertising is! Maybe it is time the invincibility of the tool behind the wheel of the 4 wheel drive was tempered, and a few responsibilities of courteous and safe driving practices were highlighted for the owners of these vehicles. The present media representation is delivering the wrong message. I’m sure that if I owned a vehicle like this, treated it the way the advertisements say, my insurance company may have something to say or not pay out. If the manufacturers of these vehicles are not prepared to temper the invincibility of the owners, maybe the government should help to take these fuel guzzling monsters off off the road by taxing them out of existence. Exempt our farmers, mining, and true campers and off roaders but the suburban terrorists need to some incentive to change their behaviour. It has worked with smokers!!!!!!

These are my thoughts and I would sure like to have your views on the matter so drop me a line. Another campaign that is dear to my heart is stopping bullying. However bullying takes on a whole new meaning in school time driving.

Cheers.

Forbidden Fruit Revisited

2016-01-21T04:42:00.000-08:00

This may set the theologian's hearts into a spin. This may even give the fundamentalists a tremor in their pants but it has to be said. Maybe the good book was intended to be different if dear little Eve wasn't so impatient?

I pre-empt, as a gay guy knowing that guys to guys understand our bodies, more so than woman do. We know what the pieces do and how far they can be stretched so to speak. It is the same for women! My lesbian friends say that it is their knowing each others bodies that make it tick or do the trick.

So having said that, could that be why God got a little tetchy when Eve jumped the gun or got a tad excited over Adam’s Guns? After all he was created in God’s image, and that, apparently is perfect. I am having visions of trying to hold myself back from Michelangelo’s David or Adonis. I am pretty sure if he said hands off while I rest, I would be having troubles with the apple and my serpent as well, so Eve must be forgiven for her indiscretions.

Ok, God told them not to touch the tree of knowledge. Maybe, just maybe, God wasn't finished creating quite yet, and needed a little nanny nap to figure out reproductive organs etcetera. Maybe, just maybe, he told these two to wait until the jobs were finished. Maybe, he was contemplating another Adam to fit in with Adam and another Eve to compliment Eve. Just maybe, being gay was the way it was to be, and because Eve jumped Adam and got her leaf off, we have suffered since.

Maybe,just maybe, we were set for a life of gay abandon till she stewed her apple! And, that is why God said, that in punishment, Adam was to make and collect food and Eve was to bear children with pain.

God, if she had not interrupted the plan, the straights may be seeking equal rights today and not us.

But seriously, both are great stories! However, no one is totally satisfied. Both stories have merit but by all accounts God told them to hold back. Not once did he say go for it while I sleep. Maybe, just maybe, he only wanted to people on Earth that never gave him grand-kids. Maybe, he wanted to see them grow only as friends and not experience the problems of divorce, of sexuality, of raring kids, of growing old, and still needing to bonk. Maybe, just maybe, he wanted his world to be two friends knowing true friendship and sharing life in general. God knows.

Maybe God had no intention to have either of them looking over their shoulder to see who or what was judging them. After all, you can’t be persecuted for being just you and there is no one to judge but God himself!

I know if I was God, (a bit late now after going off about blowing my cherry over David and Adonis) no matter who I put on earth in my image, I would want for them to be free to be who they are. Free, as long as they do not physically or mentally hurt anyone. And, never having to prove themselves to anyone but their God. I know that I would want them to love genuinely and deeply. I would want for them to know friendship, to know compassion, to know true acceptance and caring, and to give till the only pain was that of giving.

This is how I would want my creation story to be passed down through the generations. I would want for my religious interpreters, and leaders, to read my gospels filled with love, sharing and compassion.
These are my thoughts .

Cheers until next time

Little Boy Lost #love

2015-12-01T03:14:00.001-08:00

Looking back over the past, I have come to the conclusion that love has always been deeply important to me. Yes, some may say, a little like Peter Pan really in the Never Never Land.

Love in my child-like mind is that of being unconditional. It is also my belief that love should nurture you, comfort you, and keep you safe. However, the little boy in me has realised that love also needs to be reciprocated with no conditions, no agenda, nor motive except to be loved and and receive love in return.

themamareport

But, now the little boy has grown up (after all these years) and realised, that the love I had given over and over again was very one sided and that I really was never to be on the end of unconditional love in return.

When I talk this love, I am really talking of ‘parental love’. The love you find, that is not of blood, is a totally different kind. That kind of love is a growing, ever striving love that needs to be worked on to take us through our days together. But ‘parental love' should be unconditional, a God given link from the womb to the tomb. This has always been my belief

After thinking soundly through my ‘parental love’ experience, the only time I thought that I was loved in return, was as a toddler sneaking in to my mother’s room and kissing her to wake to feed me. My mother worked shift work so would sleep through the day at this stage and, I believed that love was reciprocated when my tiny kisses would wake her to feed me. As I grew, I believed that my kind of love was to be in my mind and no one needed to return it. It was just my job to love. Now listening back through ‘Barry Manilow” You Tube, I realise the truth in his words springing into my head: “needing to belong’, ‘if someone would have said your not alone’, and more sadly ‘all the wasted time.

It has taken a long time for this little boy to find himself, to know that he is not lost and that he had the correct idea all along. Love is unconditional, and that love has no cost, no restrictions, and no agenda. It has taken all this time to reach the conclusion that, this Peter Pan was not lost. In fact, the parents were the ones lost and did not know how to give love freely. Their duty was to love with no strings attached and, that our love returned, would take them to their grave.

Having left ‘Never, Never Land’ I need to put that all behind me and realise that my kind of love is not, and never will be, for them. I have to learn to pat myself on the back and say your not so bad and that I do, indeed, belong. I must realise that throwing my love that way over and over again is never going to give me love from them. I have to dust off my shoes and concentrate on my partner's love and know that our love is one based on unconditional, heart felt, and never ending love even beyond the grave.

I have to let it go, and send my love to the people that love the same way I do. I need to love so that love grows and has no barriers. Despite that love not being that of blood, it has more sustenance than my mother provided by a simple feed as a toddler. That feed was her responsibility as a parent, but giving love that is unconditional became her choice, and she imposed a value on love.

To those who have experienced the same, I urge you to stop, think, and believe in yourself. Know that you are not so bad, that you are very valued, and have the right for love to be returned in the same manner as you have given.

Love has no expiry date. Love has no limitations. Love has no agenda. Love is present and is a gift to be passed on through out the years.

Till next time,

Cheers!

spirit21.co.uk

All the Time - Barry Manilow

High Heels and Machine Guns

2015-11-17T04:22:00.003-08:00

It has always amazed me how difference is seen as a threat. Difference to believe in what we see as right. Difference to be seen as equal. Difference to be ourselves. Difference to live our lives as we feel comfortable. But, merge them all together and combine it with religion, and attitude is to create havoc on society in general.

links2love.com

Being part of the gay community, we have asked for respect and dignity to be who we are. Not once have we sought acceptance through violence and loss of life. Instead, we have stood unashamed of our sexuality and individuality. We have stood side by side on floats, and in gay bars worldwide, to show our solidarity for our equality and rights. We have marched to a different drum - a drum that begs individuality; a drum that begs equality; a drum that begs acceptance to be who we are and to believe in our place in society.

Yes, in God's eye (no matter what faith or disposition) we are seen as equal. God in anyone's language is love. Love is, and should be, the corner stone to all. That same love is fundamentally our right through our faith. That faith should be be encouraged, be it black, white, male, female, and that love, as long as it does not physically harm anyone, should be the corner stone of humanity.

For centuries we have seen wars based on religion. We have seen wars based on power. But, not once, have we seen wars based on sexuality. We have seen many religions dependent on sexual sanctity, but has that sanctity been one of trust and love. We have seen young men and women used and abused sexually by our so called ‘chosen by God’ leaders.

We have seen payoffs, standoffs and putoffs by our spiritual leaders, all in the name of love. However, say that two people of the same sex have that love connection, and they are doomed, despite their love being mutually acceptable. In the eyes of some churches it is seen as sin. God knows why straight relationships have survived considering Adam and Eve and the forbidden fruit. But, eyes are closed and never recalled to that situation.

Like gay rights activists, women's rights activists, civil rights activists, these groups of people have protested, have marched, have voiced their opinion but they have never taken to the streets with guns blazing, killing innocent people because of their beliefs. Instead, we have stood side by side (sometimes sprooking loudly) but never with guns to attain attention through power. We, as a group, have asked for equality not dominance. Whereas, as these radical groups do not ask. In fact they are not interested in equality, they are only interested in dominance by force.

To those seeking power, I urge you throw down your guns, listen to the common people, and charge your glasses with love not war. Join with the real people wanting equality, acceptance and a loving, caring lifestyle.

To those wearing the purple frocks, sprinkle some glitter of open mindedness. To those insisting on the burka, add a splash of colour and compassion. God damn it, since you have come this far, throw on some tinsel, don a pair of high heals and discard your machine guns and hop aboard the floats to equality town.

In the words of Mother Teresa :- I can do things you cannot; You can do things I cannot; but together we can do great things.

I close these writings in hope that one day we will stand together as one, our voices will be united in solidarity. Whatever our path to equality may we find peace. I pray that together we may stand tall, together we may stand united and together. May our tree of life exude peace, love and harmony.

May our rocky road of life display the colours of the rainbow, and maybe, we all at one time can be part of the colourful ingredients of life’s combination of flavours and tastes.

Cheers.

fanpop.com

Road Trip #friendship

2015-11-04T05:00:00.001-08:00

Today, tired of painters around the house, I decided to escape on a trip to nowhere in particular but, just hit the highway. I had no intention of getting out of the car. Just a round trip, to think through some things with my music playing, being alone and meditative. As it happens, my sister and I have been talking of late of the wonders of friendships. Not acquaintances, but friends that are as much to you as a relationship, and a relationship that you believe will stand tall and strong till the end of time.

I’m not talking Facebook friends here that you can accept and reject as quickly as it is to hit a button, but friendships that are meaningful, part of your family but not blood.

meme-lol.com

As in all relationships we need to be committed. (Not that ‘committed’ but committed to the relationship). We need to be there when the chips are down as well as enjoying their successes and happiness. We need to treat with respect, with care, and to realize that they have feelings and hearts that can be broken. In a partnership, our word, our actions can hurt and jeopardise the longevity of that commitment. Also, we must remember that we need to work on our relationship as it will only prosper with the love and thought that we put into it.

Driving down this highway I suddenly realize that driving is a lot like friendship itself. We need to learn to merge, give way, move with care, cruise, brake, slow down, speed up, take care, respect other drivers abilities, be mindful, and indicate our intentions. Without all of these we are destined to end at the wreckers or worse.

As I am not on a mission and I am basically Sunday driving on a Tuesday I realize that others are thinking only of getting to their destination, meeting time limits, and some just know that they are bigger and more robust than me and can demand right of passage whether I like it or not. Some are more showy than me and have an arrogance that tells me to get out of their way. Their branding, their personalised plates and the size of their exhausts display their self-importance on this highway.

The friendship highway can be much the same and, without the same courtesies as driving our friendships can end in human wreckage.

We as drivers on the friendship highway must learn that each, and everyone, is as important as the next and that each driver of life is to be afforded that respect and courtesy. There should be no one judged by the size of their exhausts, their branding, if they are on a time limit, or if they are much more powerful than the next.

This is something we must take into our daily lives. We may think that we are too busy or too over revved (busy with our day to day responsibilities) for our friendships. We have to be mindful that our friends need merge as well on our highway. If a friendship is to survive the journey we must remember that we need to give some time to the Sunday drivers. The size of our exhausts and brands (our egos, self importance) must take a back seat and allow for our relationships to cruise rather than be rushed, and made feel uncomfortable. So often we tend to make our friends feel inadequate, and worthless, owing to their unbranded, putt putt they call a car. (their lives)

Our actions must reflect our trueness, our commitment to our relationships. Yes we all get busy but do we have to say to our friends that we are soooooooo busy, making them feel that there is no time for them. We need to think a little too about our friends situation. When we know that our true friends are not as financial as we are, do we need to say OH MY GOD I am spending so much on this and that and make them feel more inadequate than they already feel. Quite often I know that those same friends put their finances further down the slope because they know that they would give their last cent to their friends if they could and give the very little that they have to show them they care and are there for them.

My sister and I had discussed recently how that friendship can be quite one sided. We discussed how quickly some friendships disappear when your money is depleted. Suddenly you realize that, when the well is dry, those friends become soooooo busy and have lives that do not include you. We also discussed that sometimes you and your friends decide to take on other things like holidays, or dinners to find that at the end of it you are left holding the baby and no support has been given. Dinners become a nightmare! One night you say ‘your shout’ and you encourage your guests to dine like kings or queens in our case. The next time your friends say ‘their shout’ and immediately as the menu is presented say, ‘OH MY GOD! I could only have the entree size or I am not that hungry.’ This may be true but, don't say this, as your guests for the evening are wanting the queens dinner and are suddenly made to feel that they are mere servants and must eat the peasant meal. You make them guilty and order the least inexpensive.

We must realize that to be friends and to have friends is the most wonderful experience. Something that you must cherish and nurture till the day you no longer have breathe.

Today I thank the painters for making me think, for making me appreciate my friends and to realize that tomorrow may never come. So make the most of that friendship that partnership on life’s highway. I thank them for opening my eyes to merge this highway of friendship and to make my friends realize that they are right there on my highway and that together we can create the most wonderful journey and that our road trip is not trip around the block but a journey of care, compassion and love.

rollingout.com

Service with Respect #service

2015-10-21T04:16:00.000-07:00

I think everyone knows that times are tough. There would hardly be a business in the world that is not suffering a little at this time. Yes, you may have the best product but people in general (the consumers) are seeking the best at the cheapest prices. Everyone is seeking a bargain, coupled with the best service that you can offer and they want nothing less.

As more and more people put their business online, those that are left with staff on the floor must target the customer who is not wanting to get on the computer to ‘go to cart’. Therefore, the business that actually has a sales floor, rather than a virtual salesroom, should start to look at the service they offer and really preen their skills. The people that still physically go to the shops, still believe in service. They believe that they, the customer, are deserving of this service at the best of price. They want the best quality service and product at the same price as those they have checked out online, who offer no hands on service.

To the businesses that still offer an actual store front as opposed to a virtual storefront, I take my hat off to you. You are dependent on staff who offer first impressions. Staff who are versed on product knowledge. Staff who can get to know their client’s needs and budget in an efficient time frame and offer them service that cannot be found online. Above all encourage clients to visit again and again.

To the staff, you must remember that your bosses are risking everything to employ you in the model of face to face service. They, the bosses, need you to keep the service at the highest level and have repeat service or sales from their clients.

Not many business I know, do not expect the customer to come back in their store unless of course you are an undertaker. A return visit from that client may be of huge benefit, owing to their business being listed in the New Testament (who cares about The Yellow Pages) and that their business will in fact gain media support, without paying a single cent on advertising. But seriously, even this business needs people to see their business as one that gives the best possible service. And for people to seek that service for their next loved one that may be in need of their product.

As staff we need to make ourselves that service agent who is as efficient as, and is striving to be the 007 of service and performance. We need to be that sharp shooter but, we need to be able to understand our mission and those of our bosses and clients. A hard task I know but our employers have entrusted us with their livelihood and in turn need our figures to ensure ours as well. Without those figures in the till, we may find ourselves on a mission impossible on the unemployment queue.

Having said that, yes our employers should, and are legally bound, to provide us with conditions that are legislated. But, we as employees must give our bosses respect and thanks that they (our bosses0 have entrusted their businesses in our hands. Therefore, we need to work harder to keep us in the luxuries to which we have become accustomed, through our job.

We and the employers must be mindful of our consumers as well, and afford them the respect, and quality, that they have sought, rather than a service equivalent to that which is offered online. They have chosen to enter our doors and are seeking face to face, hands on service.

As employers we must supply our staff with the best product knowledge and upskilling we can afford. No-one wants to enter a business with staff that have no product knowledge and lack the skills to talk to clients.

Having said that, how many of us have gone online to a virtual store and found it too difficult to navigate owing to it being overcrowded and difficult to find a particular product and get to cart? Therefore, if we are wanting our business to attract people to our floors we need to make our shop front look as professional as we believe we are. We must make our stores as consumer friendly as possible. The first impression we want, when clients walk through our doors is smart, snappy and visually directional. Our stock must be as clean as the day it was delivered. We don't need customers to think our shop front is that of a very ordinary second hand shop.

Being an employer or an employee are both tough jobs but, we together, must find common ground and respect each other in our individual roles. We need each other to survive. Therefore, we need work together for our common benefit.

If we haven't respected each other in the past for our roles, we must start, and take on board that we are dependent on each other. We must take into consideration that there is also a third party involved and that is the consumer. Yes, it is a difficult task but with communication and encouragement on all sides we can make it happen.

Unless we realize and work on our skills, and the service, we supply, we are not going to survive. Therefore, we need to work together on a remedy or, we too, might find ourselves dependent on computer service, computer employment, computer purchases, and indeed computer counselling. Let’s cherish that we have a chance to have that personal touch rather than the cold keyboard that seems to be taking the world by storm.

These are my thoughts

freegreatpicture.com

Time for a New Song #acceptance

2015-10-13T02:14:00.001-07:00

Much doom and gloom is around us all so let us stand and sing in unison. It’s time for a new song! In the words of the song, ‘Don’t weep and moan because he’s blown, just face the world and smile. Coz when your crying, don’t you know that your make-up starts to run, and your eyes get red and scrappy…. but when your smilin’ keep on smilin’ the whole world smiles with you.’

Yes, I have cut and pasted the lyrics but I am sure you get the picture. We need to embrace the positives that we have. We need to reject some of those negatives and steer them towards positive thoughts. Let’s not let that evil overpower us, let’s cast those devils to the wind and cry for them to leave our presence and take their horrid attitudes and stick them where..… oooops!! I believe I’m probably getting a tad too descriptive at this point but again, I think your get the picture.

So many of us live in a world where bullying, selfishness, alienation, greed and ambiguous love exists. It’s time to sing a new song where pure unadulterated love and caring are set free to reign - love that has no limitations, love that has no rules but to love and be loved in return, no hidden agendas. It’s time for a new song where caring for our fellow man/woman has no limits and no thoughts of cost or time or energy - a caring for others that we do not expect the return of said to boost our egos, a caring that is beyond mere words. A caring that puts us on the edge and makes us think, have we actually done enough. And enough is non-existent in the caring and loving fields of our lives.

yourdreambuilt.com

It’s time to take on the love of the innocent, and remember the simple approach to life, a life that everyone is equal that everyone has their voice, and together as one voice we can move mountains.

It’s time for a new song that embraces the aged, the children and the in between’s on life’s treadmill. We are all equal after all, in the eyes of anyone’s God. The Gods that we worship are built on love no matter what denomination we believe in. The rules that are read into our God’s love are just written by people who may as humans, isolate and persecute others for just being themselves. So, it’s time for a new song to bring back the unified chorus of the people to our religions. Our Gods have never wanted anything but love and caring. It is the human element that has destroyed people, put up barriers, built prejudice, built hierarchy and taken the simple love from our beliefs.

It’s time for a new song that our politicians remember they are elected by the normal people and in being elected, they are there to carry out the wants and needs of the people who voted for them. They are not there to dictate their prejudice and their pet hates. Their job is to be the voice of the people who elected them to office. Their job is to ensure that the needs of the people are priority with health and well-being of their constituents at the top end of their agenda. Their job is not to glorify themselves and believe that they are untouchable from the mortal man/woman.

So too our religious leaders, they should be the voice of God. Their bias and prejudice should not give them the right to condemn, to cast judgement, to isolate minorities owing to their personal bent on life. Our Gods are built on love, and only humans interpreted the very essence on which our religions are built in the first place.

So let’s scream it is time for a new song and cry out loud that we are equal, that we are worthy of a voice, and that we will join in unity to make this gloom and doom turn to better place that we can co-exist, and fear will be a thing of the past. Yes, there will always be some tough times but together through love and caring we can make this world a better place that we may all keep on smilin’ and share a love that has more power than that of evil.

Let’s make this our challenge - to think positively, to encourage others to join with us to stomp out fear, prejudice and hatred and bring in love and caring to make this world a better place.

When You're Smiling - Louis Armstrong

The Devil is alive and well!!

2015-09-28T05:05:00.000-07:00

As movies and drama series often ask you to believe that their stories are fictitious, and that the characters are those of the imagination of the writer, then this is too. But a word of warning, if one of these occurrences appears to be something you have witnessed or are experiencing, please seek help for either yourself, or the person, you see in the story line.

In a time when through death most people are unified in their grief, we watch as family and friends alike are divided without support, without compassion, without resolve and indeed without closure.

Instead these mourners try to fathom the depths of evil of this little old lady in the beret. They stand breathless, hopeless, and in total despair as to how this shriveled up old person could have woven her incantations on them and her victims.

Ten years of love and friendship eroded and white anted. Ten years of dividing and conquering relationships that were built of rock, respect, and generosity of the heart Ten years of breaking someone so as to control their very being. Ten years of building her cult - handpicked disciples of evil.

The outside appearance of this three time married, doting mother was nothing but a veneer to hide her heart of thorns and broken glass. That veneer was as impenetrable as titanium and as cutting as a diamond blade. Those that attempted to love in a human fashion were soon beaten to submission to adhere to the rules of the cult and its leader.

The rules of this cult, which by all purposes was to appear as a normal family with the highest standards of love and integrity, was merely a sham for worship, praise, adoration, and thankfulness to be in the angel of deaths presence. For the privilege of being part of this club, members needed to totally believe every word she uttered in her address to her people. One must never doubt the supreme leader for fear of retaliation and humiliation.

One must worship her as if she is the very essence of the meaning of love. Her soul and her heart is to be the temple of which her followers must strive to enter its doors. And believe it, she will not allow entrance unless she is the very shrine on which you worship.

Let it also be known, that her children do not immediately inherit divine entrance to her tabernacle of evil. They too must bow to their dominatrix of power and corruption. To attempt leaving her controlling manipulative arms is to be exiled to a million humiliations and to publicly be stoned at the foot of her temple. No friends, no family, no joyful baggage, unless by proclamation from the divine ruler, must enter her temple walls.

On marrying the high priestess of pain and evil, her new consort will be hypnotized to believe that to live side by side her will be a life of joy and happiness. However as the ink dries on the wedding parchment, he is lulled into biting that apple as was given by that little old lady to Snow White. The people of his previous kingdom are shut out slowly but surely. The family and friends of his kingdom are exiled and his armies are depleted, discredited and forced to retreat as her spell takes over his very mind and soul. He becomes powerless and his mind so brow beaten, he must obey or face her wrath. He succumbs to her spell, having no troops, no support, and no arsenal left in his reserves.

As time goes by this priestess desires the need for a new lamb to be slaughtered at her alter. She needs to narcotize and rid herself of this old sheep that has become tiring and too time consuming and indeed no spring lamb.

Meanwhile, the consort’s battle weary family, friends and expatriates attempt to break down the walls of the temple to free their narcotized hero from the slaughter. But, by this stage he is too weak, too anaesthetized to accept their help. He has nothing left but to succumb to the encyclical as written by the devil herself.

As his days are numbered, and he has outlived his usefulness as consort, signed his kingdom over, and tightened her borders from his family, friends, and fellow comrades, he calls on his sudden death to free him from this mortal life. There is nothing left for him. She has depleted his capacity as a man. She has meticulously over ten short years gained total control of his very being as do cult leaders. She has become his attorney of well-being, his attorney of time and indeed his attorney of execution.

As the consort finally closed his eyes in peace, and lay at the cold entrance into the afterlife, not once did the evil priestess call on those that cared and loved him in his mortal life. After all one must realize their place. Only she who must be worshipped, and glorified, must bask in his death. Only she who has controlled his very existence, and calculated his demise, is worthy of grief. Those left behind must realize that the crocodile tears are a divine right and are cultivated so as not to wash the blood from her shrine. She does, however, live from the blood that she has sucked life from.

As his celebration of life was celebrated, his weary followers were deleted from his life story. His family and friends were deleted from his history. Instead, his hypnotic state was glorified as per the hand of the devil, to only recognize her presence in his life and, a few anecdotes from those that are of her faith.

As the days have turned to weeks, his cabinet of followers and family has had memorials of their own. They have discovered that this Priestess of evil has raped and pillaged many kingdoms before. She has built walls around each, and every, kingdom that she has conquered. She has taken many hostages, and until now, had tied their tongues so as not to showcase her blood bathed Temple of Evil.

In the next few weeks we will discuss how this Evil Woman has worked in a pattern. Her evil is calculated to the tee. Just as a spider lures its prey to its web, just as a cat plays and toys with its prey before finally pouncing, just as an assassin stalks his victim before finally pulling the trigger, just as sure as night turns to day, the die is cast and there is no turning back.

Her depth of evil is fathomless and that those who have experienced her wrath must cling to what is keeping them safe thus far.

symbolism.wikia.com

Everyone is a victim of this priestess! Some simply do not yet know it!!!!!!!!!

Sitting on the Fence #courage

2015-09-24T00:45:00.001-07:00

How often do we want something, believe in something? Whether it be a simple want or justice, or equality, or clarification to a situation, quite often we all are guilty of sitting back and watching others do the hard yards. Then, when all the work is done, we reap the benefits or, if the outcome is not successful we can honestly say we were not involved in the exercise. We sit on the fence and bask in the glory of success and not ruffle a feather, and appear neutral if the outcome goes the other way.

Quite often, even family loyalty is something we sit on the fence with too. We appear to be behind and trust someone 100% but, in fact we have placed our bets fifty/fifty so we,ourselves, don’t get hurt when the race is run. We simply say we do not want to be involved! It’s so much easier to let others sort it out, to believe in someone and let them take the fall. Believe me I have been there. I have watched someone make the point, backed them from the fence and then, when the outcome is sorted, I can go either side of the fence depending on the outcome and, I have not lifted a finger, or broken a nail, so I look like the nice guy.

thesource.com

Sitting on the fence and being the nice guy is safe, it’s convenient, and it’s less time consuming. But to be a nice guy on the ground pursuing equality, fairness, justice, and resolution is a much harder option.

Where would we fence sitters be today without the on the ground nice guys such as Martin Luther King Jnr, Mahatma Gandhi, Helen Keller, Aung Suu Kyi, Nelson Mandela, Coretta Scott King, John F. Kennedy, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mother Teresa, Harvey Milk, and the list goes on? You’ve got it, without these nice guys, we would probably not even have a fence let alone a world.

These nice guys fought for our very liberty, justice, equality and peace. They believed in something, stood their ground and battled head on, not a wishy washy one among them. They felt strongly for and stood unabashed to defend truth and justice. Some of whom suffered persecution, imprisonment and even death for the very rights and benefits we so luckily have today.

So where do we go from here? Do we sit on the fence and watch injustice? Do we sit and watch as others fight our battle? Do we sit on the fence and say we don’t want to get involved? If we continue on this path, we have no conscience, we have no credibility, we have no compassion. If we continue on this path we do not even have the true ability to love or to care. We are just empty shells, hollow and emotionless.

I know what sort of nice guy, I want to be. I want to stand for justice, for truth and, for equality for all and I will not sit on the fence and take the safe option. When the day comes to close my eyes for the final time, I want to be proud to say ‘I tried’, ‘I cared,’ and ‘I loved’.

It won’t happen overnight but wouldn’t it be nice for everyone to stand their ground proudly and get involved - to make a difference and to promote truth and justice for every man, woman and child.

Just my thoughts!

commons.wikimedia.org

A Spoonful of Sugar #sugarsweet

2015-09-15T01:34:00.005-07:00

According to the dictionary the meaning for ‘Subliminal’ is: existing or operating below the threshold of consciousness; being or employing stimuli insufficiently intense to produce a discrete sensation but, often being, or designed to be, intense enough to influence the mental processes or the behaviour of the individual:

My question is ‘Can we communicate with someone despite not being together at the time?’ And ‘Can the deceased send us messages?’

I ask these questions with a desire that, the answer to my questions is ‘Yes!’ A couple of weeks ago I was sitting pondering, remembering, and agonising that for some reason someone who is close to my heart was dying. I was also remembering another someone who had recently passed and what lovely men these two had been. At that stage one still was. I know that one of these guys was a brilliant pianist and I thought of how he could play even close to the end, and still, the love of music was firmly embedded in his fingers and heart. Suddenly, while thinking, a few chords of a piano next door came across my fence from a child that is learning to play. I had not heard them play piano before. Then I drew myself out of my chair and proceeded to go to my piano which I had not played in well over 2 years. This was as 7.20 in the evening, and as I sat down and started to play ‘A Lighter Shade of Pale’ I realised the keys were dusty and got a cloth and wiped the keys. I then continued to play 4 songs and, as playing, my mind drifted to the man that had passed and my mind then swiftly turned to the man that was dying. At 7.35 my sister rings, I stop playing and think as I go to the phone that this man has died. On taking the phone call, my thoughts were affirmed that it was true. He passed away at 7.25pm. In my thoughts of him while I was playing, were that a new life for him would be wonderful. He needed to find a place of peace. He needed to rekindle the spirit that he had taken from him over the past years.

cliparts.co

I spoke to a few about this feeling that had washed over me. With my weird sense of humor, I laughed it off to friends and family that maybe, my bad playing made him leave the building and seek some refuge. However, all actually believed in a spiritual communication of some kind and affirmed my original thoughts that it was in fact me communicating to him that it was ok for him to pass over, his farewells had been given in total.

Speaking to another friend, she had said that when her husband had passed on, two of his closest friends had signs that had happened at the very time her husband had passed over. She like me actually took solace in their thoughts.

In the final months of the latter mans life, he had cried that he does not know what is happening to him. He asked questions but was stifled for the answers. In the years prior to his demise every time he had accepted a cup of tea (without fail) he would say, 'Don’t add sugar - I don’t like sugar.' 'She always puts sugar and I don’t like it.' You would proceed to make his tea without sugar, he would take the first sip and say - ‘Just the way I like it’ .

In at least the last six years of his life, I could not tell you how many times I heard his plea of no sugar. Slowly, but surely, this man was in decline of health whether he liked it or not he was slowly losing his power and health to make him become dependent on one. His networks of friends and relatives were in decline as was his health.

At the Christmas and New Year he traveled with his (one). He returned home, and then with rapid haste, the conditions he suffered became more intense. His networks were all but depleted. His future had become very dim indeed. His Last Will & Testament was renewed, his enduring power of attorney was sured up to (one) his bank accounts had been lightened for faster probate costs. His heart which had always been strong ,became weakened and his mind had become more dependent on (one). He still cried, 'Why is this happening to me?' He still cried, 'How can I fix this situation I have got myself into?' But still he would cry, 'Yes, I would love a cup of tea but, don’t put sugar in like (one) does.' And when we questioned (one), she said 'I do add some Sustagen to help him along.' In his final month the (one) had cut ties with his family and friends completely. The only ones left to stoke the (ones) ego and behaviour were those that we laughingly call ‘the rent a crowd’ These people loved her Oscar award performances. Had she lived in Hollywood, I am sure Meryl Streep would not be the top of the academy winners list. This (one) can move from streaming tears, to angered hate, to gentle caring old lady all within minutes and not have a tear nor red eye to be seen after the performance.

Having set the scenario, I still ponder if from the grave can someone give a message? Can they be telling us to check something out? Were our suspicions of his tea worthy of our investigation? Remembering that the (one) is such a good actress, that her acting can proffer forth belief in her lies.

funcage.com

On the day of his funeral those that were close to him had never heard a song that he had supposedly sung morning and night to the (one). However, this song was played as they had all believed that this was his song to her.

I leave you with this thought, tell me, do people talk from the grave? Do people give us this subliminal messages to activate our thought processes? Now I leave you to think for yourself, was this man who loathed sugar in his tea trying to tell us something. The song I leave you to ponder was played full length at his service.

Think it through “Just a spoonful of sugar”

Happy thinking

A Spoonful of Sugar - Mary Poppins

The Life Beyond and The Life Left Behind

2015-09-06T00:44:00.000-07:00

I sit and contemplate Alec’s entrance into the after life. I see how he farewelled this life with hesitation (90 odd years) but, I am sure he has entered the next, with music in his heart and at his fingertips. This man will be tinkling the ivories with the best of them that are in that concert hall. He will be sharing with his new found friends, and family, the wonderful memories of his life with Mary and the girls. He will have already mapped the quickest ways to get around this great space and no GPS required. This man was the master of transport and music. His dry wit will have each, and everyone, in stitches and his loveable and jovial nature will bring all to sit beside him to hear of his life and love of a great woman.

As we sit here thinking of how to carry on now that he is gone, we can only think of the void that is left with his absence. Instead, we should think of this no fuss man who would not want us sitting around moping his leaving the building. He would want everyone to carry on as before without the troubles of the last few years. He would want the world to go back to normal and, for everyone, especially his beloved Mary to start living again. He would want for all to remember the fun that they had experienced. He would want everyone to rejoice, that the time spent was an adventure, and that the next adventure is just around the corner waiting. And indeed, when our time comes we will all find that adventure with him at the helm no doubt.

Death is very hard for us to bear but, if we think beyond ourselves for a moment, we will see the only people suffering are those that are left behind. The departed are already planning the banquet, and the music, for our entrance to that great concert hall of our afterlife. All they want, is for us to enjoy and make a better life for those that we will leave behind. We have to make a difference, a contribution, so that when we leave our mortal coil, someone will be at least a little happier for knowing us.

In dying, the challenge that Alec and many before him have set for us, is to do exactly that, to make a difference, to reach out and touch someones life. To create memories, to encourage others to dream, to leave a footprint on this earth that others may follow.

Life is going to be tough for a while, while we are looking around to see if our loved one is there. However, if we think outside the square, and look to our side, that loved one is right beside us forever. No, not in the physical sense, but their love is so strong that we will feel true love whether it is visible or not. That love has been bequeathed to us, so that we may pass it on to those that we will leave behind someday.

If we have truly been loved, and we have truly loved, that love can never die. That love will simply ignite from us to others around us, if we only pass that love forward. We owe it to our departed to keep their love alive and to pay it forward, to nurture love and kindness and make this a better world for when our time comes to finally close our eyes.

So now Alec has left us, we owe it to him to not weep and mourn because he has left us but to be positive, to be out there and rejoice his life, and share the happiness that he so wanted and gave to those around him.

We look forward to one day catching up with him. But for the next while we must carry on and build memories and love for those that we intern will leave one day.

Take care, be strong and spread the love!

Always - Ella Fitzgerald

A Long and Winding Road #bereavement #mourning #deathof love

2015-09-04T04:42:00.001-07:00

Just recently, my cousin lost her dad. This man was strong, loving, and adventurous in his prime. A prime that lasted 9 decades plus a few years. Yes, they probably had their ups and downs, but the love shone. And that love possessed enough strength to make her loss as keen as the love she found on the day she saw his face for the first time.

The loss of a loved one at any age can be devastating whether sudden, or prolonged. However, the longevity of the love can somehow make it more difficult to mourn, as the depth and the memories, strengthen and deepen throughout the years. The age of the deceased it really doesn't matter. Yes, they have reached a remarkable age, but the loss is nonetheless as shattering as that of a young love.

However, a love that is craved, a love that is shattered while you are alive, is probably one of the hardest losses that anyone can mourn. This type of ‘death of love’ is probably one of the most difficult emotions to come to terms with.

A couple of people I have come to know intimately over the past few months have expressed that ‘death of love’. The love they craved was really non existent from the one they loved (their mother). Decades of love wasted. Decades of love emotionally twisted, and blatantly manipulated. They had given that love, craved that love. Respected love in itself to defend them from what really was a manipulation of the cruelest kind from an evil woman. A woman who only had love for herself and, for her possessions (she considered her children were part of those possessions). Possessions that could be put aside at her whim, but brought out on display for those to whom she wanted to keep up appearances.

This woman (for want of a better word) sought and destroyed every bit of JOY that they had, ever collected to comfort and console themselves in their years of loyalty, and love, for this woman. Every blessed memory of others that they brought to their heart for comfort, was distorted and defaced to prove their dependence on her, and her alone. No one had value in her mind except for herself only. She raped their minds from the very day that they were born. In fact, she made them beg for the crumbs of ‘pretend love’ that she would throw their way.

One day not so long ago, they sat and disclosed the atrocities that she had inflicted on them from birth. These days turned to weeks, turned to a few months of discussion. Not one story, that each had been told, was anywhere near the same. These stories were told to manipulate and to distance each child from the other, so that each child had conflicting angst and anger for their siblings. This in turn, made the mother the all powerful, the narrator of their lives.

Things started to make sense finally, dates, times and situations. Finally 1+1 equaled 2 not one alone as she wants, as singularly it's easier to control. Things finally started to add up and these people began to realize that their thoughts had been manipulated in order to control them to love, and crave love in return from this evil woman. Yes, this woman appears to be a lovely old lady, but in reality she is a nothing better than a serial killer of people and rapist of hearts. She does not stop. Sadly she knows what she does, but she continues collecting trophies along the way. These trophies are people who she will use to defend her atrocities and, once finished being her appointed allies, will dispose of smartly to cover her web of evil.

These people were born to this woman and, in so doing, were born to love and respect her, never to question the love that they had come to believe was not normal. This woman was the great dame of deception. Finally after coming to a realization that this was not love and, confronting the demons in their mother, the love that they so sought has been rejected and they are cast to the wolves. Yes, this is indeed a ‘death of love’. Yes, their love was not returned. But the love proffered to this woman was as true and as heart felt as my cousin's for her father. Yes, this is a love that has to be mourned but, it also is a mourning of a love that was given but never returned.

Sadly, these people have to rebuild their lives as the very foundations on which their love was built never even existed. We will keep them in our prayers and pray, that Karma may present itself upon this woman as peace will preside over my cousins father.

As you realize by now, most of my life and emotions are governed and controlled by music. The clip that follows this is how I feel for both scenarios. However, one door is open and the other is closed on their long and winding road.

My sympathies go out to my cousin at this time. My prayers go out to these newly found, intimate friends and from the Latin - ave atque vale (hail and farewell) Alec.

Long and Winding Road - George Michael

Despicable #elderabuse #rights

2015-08-11T07:07:00.000-07:00

To say I am am angry is an understatement. This cold arsed Queen is so outraged with the lack of support that was given from my last blog, my tweets, my Facebook. I sent it to counsellors to politicians, lawyers, police, other gay people. Did anyone respond even with a like (maybe 3). What was more disturbing is that, not one person, who may have been able to help or offer some advice, even bothered to comment, tweet or inbox me.

We as the LGBTQI community, ask for us gays to be equally accepted in the eyes of the law. We ask, quite rightfully, to be equally accepted in the world in general. However, do we think of anyone beyond our genitals, in regards to others, and their plight for equality? Do those who have suffered under inequality think of anyone beyond our own cause? I not really think so. We tend to be as narrow minded, and as selfish, as those that we accuse of bigotry toward us - only thinking self, and nothing of others that are suffering. Yes, marriage equality is important and I cannot wait to get married. But at this minute it is the farthest thing from my mind as I battle for recognition for the rights of the elderly to be safe from abuse and suffering.

I spoke last week of the fears I have for an older gentleman who is in the hands of a woman who could no less be described as a person with Munchausens by Proxy. Sadly, if her victim was a child we would rally for the support of the victim. However, her victim is an elderly gentleman and as such, he of course does not count. It is fine to isolate, to mentally abuse, and to lead this man to his maker, in an act that is nothing short of murder. But, suspect the predator of abusing a child and, every law enforcement officer will be keen to look into the case confidentially and with haste.

Not so for this gentleman! We need cold hard facts to even get past first base. This is a load of crock. If I was to tell the police I suspected someone of trafficking drugs they would look at this case immediately and, if in so finding my suspicions were unwarranted, there would be no repercussions but a thanks and you are looking out for your country.

But, try to look out for someone who has been trodden to his death bed and fears for his safety! Try to change that he will accept the outcomes of the murderer because that is all he has at this final hour! I defy you to get past first base. You are stonewalled at every turn. There are people in the medical industry who will give you advice, but they too are hamstrung in how much they are actually able to do. There are government agencies aplenty that supposedly support the elderly, report on nursing home abuses, give advocacy to those unable to speak for themselves. However, there is one hitch, the elderly person has to be declared ‘not to have capacity’! That is they are unable to take responsibility for themselves. Whilst they have all their faculties, even though they are trapped in an abusive situation there is nothing that can be done without their consent.

I cry that we that have fought our case of equality for all these years and really do not give a damn for anyone but ourselves. Are we really that shallow that we can pass on this?

Are our legal people and counsellors that weak that they cannot even offer a little concern, let alone grab it and run for legislation to be passed on something so despicable?

This guy, family and friends contacted everyone available to help on websites. Police, elder abuse agencies, public guardian, psychologists at our own expense, doctors, public forums, medical facilities, the director of nursing where the patient resides, only to be cut down, to be treated without confidentiality, not even a reply in many instances.

And in turn, the predator is advised of our concerns, blocking every avenue by virtue of being this old lady who has her husband’s best interests at heart. Should I say his heart coz she is the one, that is not only breaking his heart, but tampering with it through medication - ooooops pandadol. This woman who has done it all before and will in fact continue doing it till the day she dies. I cannot understand how everyone says there is a case to answer and yet, because the victim is old, he somehow does not count any more. He is somehow less equal under the law.

We like, comment on and discuss a little puppy with a bent tail. We discuss of the brutality of the Asians cooking live fish at the table of restaurants but when it comes down to elder abuse, do we really care? Do we forget that one day (and it will move on us fast) that day will come to us. We even tweet to everyone of our latest novel of fiction and/or fantasy but this to be real and happening, and no-one cares!!! God forbid us to share this real live case for others to contemplate! God forbid we actually do something about it. We hashtag #comeridewith me and feel like we have single handedly saved the world. But, that is simply a feel good tick. This case is no less real than any of the other atrocities and social issues that everyone hashtags but because this is about the elderly who cares? #no-one

This case is fact so let us get behind our elderly. Let us make sure that they are cared for in the manner they deserve. Let us make sure they live out their twilight years in happiness and with dignity. Let us not leave them to be abused and discarded on the scrap heap of humanity. So as you fight your fight for LGBTQI equality, spare a thought for an elderly learned gentleman, who earned not one, but two Victoria Crosses, in World War 2. As you worry about your next broken fingernail. I will worry that this old fellow will breathe his last as the world really does not give a damn.

Hello in There - Bette Midler

Injustice #elderabuse #dignity #victim

2015-08-05T05:30:00.000-07:00

To the Politicians, to the Legislators, to the Health Care Professionals, to those who intend to get old, and to those who give a damn for the aged!

The efforts, in the safeguarding of children against abuse today are well documented and the commitment to the abolition of child abuse is long overdue. However, the inadequacy of protection for another vulnerable group in our society, and that is the elderly, requires effective protective legislation be put in place urgently! This should be similar to that which now affords protection for our children.

To commence my discussion I would like to share my experience of someone who was a victim of institutional abuse as a child and will end his life as a victim of elder abuse. This makes me fear that while they appear to rise above their experiences, and go on to live what appears to be full and rich lives, are these people conditioned at an early age to be victims their whole lives?

To say we come into this world naked, and leave this world the same way, is beautiful thought of how we are equal from day one till our death. We are as equal as the beauty that nature wanted for us.

However, to be stripped bare for an entire life, is a total injustice that no one should ever experience. I sit and watch as a man of greatness is breathing his last breaths in the hands of injustice again. I sit watching, as our laws do not allow this man the dignity of passing in God’s own time, but passing in the hands of yet another abuser.

This man born in 1925, in Scotland, survived being abused as a child to his early teens, in and out of institutional care in the Great Depression. He was devoted till the day his mother and grandmother died, despite their inability to allow him the privilege of a proper home life. But in his words, ‘These were hard times!’ Yes indeed, they were hard times but, why did hard times have to be such a hard and damaging time for a child simply being afforded what we see today as basic necessities?

This man joined the military at a very early age, became a war hero at 17 years of age honoured by the King. He lost his hearing in the right side from this battle and carries the shrapnel to this very day, to remind him why he fought for freedom in World War II. A freedom that he, and so many others, fought so we may have freedom today - freedom to live; freedom to speak out on injustice; freedom to champion the rights of the oppressed.

The very freedom that this man fought for has been stripped from him yet again, left him naked and vulnerable. But this is not a beauty of nature. This is one of greed, manipulation, isolation and deceit, dressed in the clothes of an old woman who has the heart of a devil. The very same Hitlertarianism that he battled so hard against has made him a Jew of the Holocaust in his death bed.

At a time when this man should be enjoying his milestone of 90 years in health, he fears that his dignity in death has slipped into the hands of yet another predator, a predator that is only interested in yet another kill. Yes this woman has killed before, another veteran freedom fighter of the military in Japan.

Like her victim before, she has isolated him from the very things he loved and nurtured. Single handedly she has stripped him bare of his family, his friends, his love of reading, his love of art, and now is stripping him from his clever and witty mind. So persuasive is this devil that she has her manipulated throngs to aid her into his demise.

The very friends, and relatives, that are able to see through this evil, and pray and speak against this terrorization, are stifled by our justice systems. Our hands are tied in our attempts to save this victim. We are told by the World Health Organisation to speak out if we fear for our fellow man is a victim of Elder Abuse. But, instead we are hushed into submission as our legislation does not quantify this isolation, and deception, as criminal without what they deem to be ‘solid’ evidence. Without the blood and the bullet there is no inquiry. There is no mediation, there is no moral obligation to a victim of Elder Abuse. Instead health professionals warn the predator of our worries and concerns, in so doing, isolating the abused further from a dignified life and death.

This man, who has cried to us (not in the presence of the devil), “Why is this happening, why am I in this position, how can she do this?” is so fearful, that instead of being able to fight again,for HIS freedom, is nobbled by the devil and made to fear, and feel, that it is best if he just gives up and dies. To die from illnesses that have never been even told to him, (does he really suffer from any of these) and to be relieved of his so-called pain, by end of life medication, so cunningly explained away by the Devil as Panadol via a cannular, is not just tragic, it is criminal. But of course these deceptions, and lack of proof for “what is he dying from” are, in fact, not evidence but simply a caring woman sharing her husband’s death???? This is a cold, calculating woman who cannot even share in song, ‘Happy Birthday’ with those who have rallied to come to his aid. Instead she drives the wedge of deception further so he is more and more isolated and dependant on this grim reaper of death - his ‘wife’.

In Australia we have adopted laws and legislation for child abuse. We have legislated that these atrocities shall be quashed in the name of the law. However these legislations have not been adopted for our ever increasing aged.

Instead our politicians and lobbyists do not fight for the legislation that will assist the Elderly. Yes we set up advocacy groups for the abused elder, the public guardian to assist but, unless these elderly are of ‘impaired capacity’ there is no system for reporting of such abuse without cold hard facts. Do the legislators not understand that these elderly are victims who already live in fear? And, in speaking out for themselves, will only further their existing isolation and abuse, because their very predator, is often the one that is acting in their ‘best ‘interests.

In our legislated laws against child abuse, our schools, our community groups, our medical practitioners, and indeed, normal people have the opportunity to speak out about any suspicion of child abuse confidentially and, with confidence that our children will be safe and that something will be done to support these children. Reporting is mandatory, and though there may be some suspicions of over zealous people, we can feel secure that our young will have a safe environment free from perpetrators of crime.

However, our elderly do not have the protection afforded to the children. We, as caring citizens, are not afforded the ability to report on Elder Abuse without hard fact to support our claims. Somehow in my mind, this is blatant discrimination against the aged.

We, Australian citizens, are told of our responsibilities in the reporting of child abuse, to report breeches of border protection, report drug trafficking and impending crime. However, our elderly are not afforded the same protection status of those aforementioned.

In conclusion, I am begging that our Elderly are given the same right of passage as our children. Give them dignity to live without fear. Give them the dignity to live without isolation. Give them the dignity to feel safe, and that our laws will include them until their God given time has arrived.

There are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don't yearn to reach out, but because they've tried and found no one who cares. -- Richelle E. Goodrich

Family #appearances #hurt #abuse #celebrations

2015-04-08T17:17:00.000-07:00

As the religious calendar rolls around, family takes on a new significance with the exchange of well wishes and blessings, the sharing of good food and gifts, and the general connectedness that comes from such events. What was once an obligatory exchange of well wishes, has become a time of exchanging blessings and generally giving thanks with the ones that count.

No longer am I tied to my past, where I wished everyone including the neighbours cat a happy blessing for the season. I have finally believed enough in myself to bestow my blessings on a selected few. I have always believed that it is not only right to send such wishes on special occasions, but it gave a genuine connection to those with whom I shared my blessings. However, I have realised at last that the responses were mostly those of obligation to reply. The indifference to my wishes and the obligation to reply are the same as the shop assistant saying, 'Have a nice day!' requires the appropriate response of, 'And to you also!' This is despite his indifference at his counter, despite how he queried the article in question and called for price check that must have had to be sourced from the country of origin! And, now I am late for an appointment.

I have come to realise that my wishes and blessings of the season were replied to only by obligation. There was no meaning nor sensitivity to the replies, it was simply a matter of, lets reply and get this over with! The next season is just around the corner and I must do this before the next text rolls in. I know everyone is time poor with a busy lifestyle but, these holidays and celebrations, give us that little bit of time to take stock and remember those who have helped us, and are dear to us, on the pathway of life.

This year I have celebrated in a more low key fashion. I have actually shared it with people that are dear and near to me. My celebration was not tied to elder clansmen and women's desires for things to be done their way or not at all. My celebration was one of hope, that there is indeed that of life after death, new beginnings and a tangible happiness that comes from this.That there is hope for a better future, hope for a world of peace and hope that we will see equality for all by the time I finally close my eyes to begin that other journey. This is the finally the celebration that I truly wanted and this year has seen the first of those dreams and aspirations to start in full. This is on my bucket list and I want to achieve that.

I wished to spend my time with people who equally respected me and I celebrated this occasion (Easter) without fear without condemnation for simply being me. It was relaxed, emotions were stable and all enjoyed each other's company and no remorse as to why we celebrated in the first place. There were no hidden agendas - only agendas of like minded people celebrating life after death.

To those who fear these occasions, I beg for you to begin your next celebration as that - a celebration of renewal, a celebration of life. A celebration of love, not one that you must peer over your shoulder to wonder what the actual agenda is and who may stab you.

Think positively - the world is a much better place without the negativity of those who have no feeling but for themselves. The world needs positivity that creates peace and harmony - not a world of derision. Only then can these days of celebration be visionary to a world of peace for which we celebrate.

Take care till next time

Bitchescoz!

EMail: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Patience is a Virtue #passwords #disability #privacy

2014-09-27T00:23:00.000-07:00

Let's face it, I am not the most patient person in the world. On a scale of 1-10, I would probably rate at around - hmmm let me think - 2! However, to cut the queues I follow the protocols of procedure to lesson my angst in waiting. For instance, in bank accounts I apply, and receive, the relevant ID logins and passwords to enable quick access. Or at least shorten the length of the 'We value our client's and you will be put through to a customer service operator ASAP!" statements, and the endless advertisements, reassuring me that I am in the hands of the Number 1 bank in the land.

These passwords and codes are to guarantee that your privacy, or security, is not breached in anyway. These automated voice banks promise you instant access to your accounts. They clear the pathways for the operator with whom you finally speak. The operator no longer has to waste even more time mulling over whether you know your Great Aunties maiden name, who had 3 fathers, or the dog, that when they ask its name, you say an affectionate name, not the real thing, and bang, you're passing your toenail clippings down the line for DNA testing, to establish something you thought you had already established, when you logged in with those names and numbers.

becomeabankteller.com

About 2 weeks ago, I decided as I passed my bank, that I would just go in and ask for a re-issue of a card in both our names as it expires while we are overseas. To my surprise, the exercise was rather painless! She assured us that the reissued cards would arrive in the mail within 7 working days. 'Great,' we thought, 'I might physically go into the bank more often, as this seemed simpler and more efficient than I had imagined.' Again, to my surprise in the mail came the new cards in 3 days. On looking at the shiny, new, virginal cards, I glanced at their beauty to see that the expiry date was the same. Thinking of human error, I decided to venture back to my bank rather than that phone call. Again, quite painless, with the apology for her boss ticking the wrong box! All would be fixed and re-issue would be done again within 7 days. Yes, in another 4 days, owing to weekend in between, the cards arrived again. You guessed it - same expiry dates!!!!

On top of this, we decided that same day to do a bank transfer from our app to find, somehow, the limit (of our own money I might add) had been dropped remarkably. I then ring the internet banking team with the usual protocols in place, ask to speak to a consultant. Then with the round of questions regarding my time of conception, my blood type, and sperm count, I was finally spoken to regarding reissue and the limit allowance. She, then on looking into my profile, assured me that she would not be able to discuss unless my partner spoke on the phone to verify his existence and, maybe divulge his deceased father's brand of his first bicycle (remember he is Asian.) I explained that my partner is deaf which would create a problem when speaking on the phone. I reminded her of the 3rd party disclosure we had agreed upon when opening the account in the first place. After 1 hour and numerous discussions with her supervisors she accepted and assured me our limit had again been raised, along with following her step by step on my iMac to reinstate the original limit.

That night we decided to transfer some funds, only to be rejected again. Oh bother I thought!!!!! I rang the bank! After setting in the pass protocols was told that the consultants only work till 7 pm, thank you for your patience, and ring again in the morning after 9 am Eastern Standard Time. To ease my lack of serenity I did partake in a few medicinal wines for comfort. Next morning, I rang the bank, and again, was objected to the same scrutiny of privacy as the day before. With already telling the consultant that this conversation might not be pretty, she accepted, and then advised that the quickest and most efficient way to deal with this was was to transfer my call to the bank who had done the reissue, so they may reissue again, as they would have our true signatures on file. Two hours later, after being on hold, and listing my credibility and last ten transactions in order for security, I was spoken to by the original manager at the branch who assures me the re-re-reissue would transpire forthwith and the limit would be raised again post haste. Oh, and I forgot, 'Thank you for banking with the Number 1 bank in the land!' script.

Ok my patience was tested. I think I actually deserve some bonus queue jumps for it. The point of the matter is, yes, I believe in national security and that some scammer does not access my account and spend my funds on Taliban subscriptions. But, and its a tough call when you have accounts in both names and singularly you can't access information unless both verify. (Though one had thought that that little password and passcode was the key to our account) One can only imagine the plight my partner would have been in if I was not around or, he was making the inquiry as the deaf guy he is.

archive.indianexpress.com

The question I am asking is, can these institutions think past the number crunching, and realize that some people cannot access in the way they propose for full visioned, full hearing, people? Yes, it is fine to say that there are relay services for those with disabilities. But, can they also realize that we are all human and maybe need some easier methods to communicate. With us for example, you have one hearing and one non hearing person trying to communicate. Neither can use the same service successfully especially if they are in joint names, without SMS's flying in with approval to speak or SMS's flying in to transfer. These SMS's, I might add, are on the very phone that is attached to the hearing persons ear speaking to the consultant at the time trying to verify himself. You think I'm confused?? Put yourselves in the disabled person's shoes as they go through the conundrum on a daily basis. Would it not be kinder to bring back some more personal assistance.

These are my thoughts until next time stay safe, be kind to yourself, and to others, and keep in touch. Until then, I will go to try and transfer some funds, and make new friends, at the land's Number 1 Bank.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

disabilities.uchicago.edu

Christmas Approaches #family #friendship #equality #festiveseason

2014-09-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

As I have told you, we are off to Europe etc for a few months soon, and apart from the organising of travel and accommodation, all is sweet. There are no thoughts of stress and worry over the Christmas celebrations. We are going with three members of the family who are more friends than family and for the festivities we are meeting with dear friends.

If you speak to most people single, straight, gay or indifferent, they all seem to have the angst of Christmas celebrations. For a celebration that is meant to celebrate birth and new hope, it tends to give birth to anxiety, frustration, and fear of what may come of those days, spent together. Strangely, most say that even though you may be around the corner, day in day out, from your family, the actual stress evolves from those that you see more regularly, than those you see only on special occasions.

This year we decided to take the leap and go it, with the ones that give us joy, the ones that you have no secrets from, those that have no hidden agenda, those that you feel safe and secure with. Yes, you got it! We chose these friends and they chose us! Please God, make this be the best silly season we have ever experienced. Make this a season of true spirit, true happiness, and true hope, for a better future.

No doubt there will be some pre-holiday jitters regarding Christmas presents and farewells to those we leave behind. But as we board that plane, those stresses will go in the cloud of dust that the plane leaves behind us. I have always wondered why we put ourselves in these situations of stress, when basicall,y all involved are going through the same stresses as ourselves. Each and everyone of us are feeling as we do, just from a different perspective.

Some may say that our decision to celebrate this Christmas with our immediate family and friends is selfish. To those I say yes! Yes, selfish to want to spend this season of rebirth with those from whom there is no hidden conversation, no worry of who should do this, or who should behave in a certain manner other than being yourself.

To those that believe that, I pray that your celebrations will go smoothly, stress free and will bring renewal to your life as intended traditionally. For us, this will be a beginning of something new, something exciting, something that strays from the norm, but will hopefully take us into the New Year with a sense of purpose, a sense of vigour and a true honesty to be who we are, and believe that we are all equal without agenda or secrets.

Friendship is a choice. We all have acquaintance friendships but true friends are our choice to love, nurture, share the good times with the sad. Yes they are our chosen family. So this year we are celebrating in style, with family that have no barriers, no rules of protocol. Our friendship family is one that lifts, fulfills, and brings life into our hearts. They give hope for a future of equality, and justice, for each and every being.

Throughout the course of our journeys we will share our experiences, our pics and ourselves along the way. So stay in touch. I love your emails. Sharing and listening are the greatest gifts, I believe as it gives me a sense of unity with the world.

Until next time, stay safe, be kind to yourself and remember that alone we can move hills but together we can move mountains.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Diamonds are Forever #friendship #endurance #love

2014-09-14T02:29:00.002-07:00

Diamonds have always been a thing of beauty, a thing of resilience. One of the hardest substances on Earth, they are one of nature's wonders. How can something so beautiful be so strong. They have been and still are symbols of status, a symbol of love - a gift of love.

loyesdiamonds.ie

Diamonds in the rough are still a treasure and our friendships and love can easily be compared to diamonds. If we appreciate the beauty, the resilience, and the strength of love, the way we do of diamonds then, we are the richest people on earth.

If we value our friendships, digging and persevering to find that sparkle is well worth it. Unlike diamonds, that love, that sparkle, exists even when not worn. It lives deep in our hearts and sparkles from within. It is something that has no monetary value, something that is priceless Something that can only be valued by the people to whom you entrust your sparkle. A value that does not adjust to a financial index metre. A value that will increase in worth for our duration, and if we share that love it will linger forever.

Having said this, I believe that love and friendship is something worth mining. No matter how dirty you get in the process, the result is priceless. The feeling is indescribable and, the benefits are beyond expression. The beauty of holding that love in your heart is worth the scrapes, worth time put in to seek that sparkle. And, once you have that sparkle, you ensure that you polish, preen, and keep it gleaming forever.

The cutting of the diamond is as important as how we treat, and care for, our friendships and love. The better the cut the better the quality. Therefore examine that rough love, treat it with respect, treat it with care. Look at each aspect of it and bring out that beauty, that sparkle. Gently grind back those rough, and sometimes hidden flaws, and and help them see the sparkle that they possess. Let them see that diamonds are lovely as a solitaire but, when encrusted in a union of love, that solitaire will look simple compared to a setting interwoven with gold and other precious gems.

I look at friendships of my own and some of my friends feel that they don't shine. They feel dull and lifeless at times, tarnished from what life dishes out. But, if we simply spend some time showing them their internal sparkle, they will look in the mirror and realize they are glorious, that they are a thing of beauty. Something that is priceless in ours and others eyes. Let's face it, quite often we get too busy to think beyond ourselves, and while we are preening our egos, we forget those that give us our sparkle in the first place.

So I encourage you to mine for that sparkle, be mindful of its value, be conscious of the cutting. Develop the setting that is equally enjoyed and admired. Polish with love often and treasure the beauty that sparkles within.

Until next time, thanks for the emails, thanks for the encouragement, and thank you for spending time with me. Stay safe, be kind to yourself and share the love and remember, life's diamonds are forever.
Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Diamonds are Forever -Shirley Bassey

Zippity Doo Dah #support #friendship #holidays

2014-09-07T04:53:00.001-07:00

I little while back, I spoke to you regarding my best friend's fear to travel overseas. I mentioned that even though her husband nagged her to accompany him, she would not go. Letting him go alone with his brother and sister in law. I had spoken with joy, that she had considered joining us at Christmas in Europe.

As the time is creeping up on the silly season, I reminded her of her intentions about a week ago. Her allergy to commitment to holidays, became so intense that, our text messages no longer needed ring tones but, a cardiac surgeon present. At the mere mention, you could feel the pulse rate hammering through your fingers. If on the Richter scale, I believe that Europe was in evacuation mode.

After many frosty nights texting too and fro, my friend finally admitted - one, she would not be joining us. And two, the only reason she does travel to us, is to work. Yes, she has visited us numerous times before, but she was not coming only to see us, but to organize our home. To oversea the electrical work, to lay pavers, to stack my garage so that it was methodically laid out. To rearrange my pantry, to bring order to my ever so tragic shoe collection. Yes, my friend finally admitted, holidays were a waste of time if you were not doing something productive such as hard labor.

Establishing this outcome was met with grace, gratitude and admiration for her work ethic, from me. Hmmmmm! It was also met with the wrath of a jilted gay boy! Our phones became the battle field which two fighting drag queens could not imagine. (I might add my friend is as straight as the day is long but she fights like an alley cat) I fight in a more subtle way. I fight like an Ice Queen on speed. I fight with gusts of chilled wind, followed by daggers of ice. I fight, that anyone, not used to the perils of an ice excursion, may find themselves dangling dangerously on broken ice, awaiting their fall to a frozen death, of which only those who traveled on the Titanic, could possibly have knowledge and first hand experience. My friend, on the other hand, has the strength of a pack horse, the head of a mule, the claws of a mountain lion and the subtlety of a sledge hammer. Both going head to head is something only fans of Conan the Barbarian will have witnessed. (I, by the way, I am not the evil warlord) I am more Thor (ever so blonde, ever so cute, ever so galant) on a mission to rid the evils of my friends mind.

After a week of playing jugular texting, and so forth, both became a little worse for wear. Both became weary of a pending loss of friendship, and I, the loss of my boyhood if I swore at her one more time. Yes I said, "Have it your own way", threw my tiara and handbag in the air and said "You like work so much, join us, and you may build bridges on our vacation." In true gay boy style, knowing of my therapeutical powers, I walked away from the discussion, knowing very well my friend would not let me have the last say. At this time, knowing my therapy was on the rise, I reached for my final thrust and she bowed, admitted defeat, and is joining us on our sojourn through Europe. Her husband, now knowing that they are up up and away, will have his heart checked soon owing to the shock waves he is having throughout his surprised body.

You may ask, 'What is the moral to this story?' Simple! Don't give up on friends. Don't give up on caring. Don't give up, even though the road gets tough. Outwit them with logic, wear them down. Stab where you know, will most bring them to their knees. Make them realize that it is for the good of others, for the good of the nation, for the good their health. And just as they are teetering on the edge of the broken ice in the lake, offer them a lifeline, a solution. Promise them you will be their by their side for their journey. Promise them. that you are proud of their prior convictions but, you would be even more proud, if their convictions included you and not the the rearranging of your fridge.

I make light of this but seriously, I will be there for my friend. I will be there with the refreshing water. I will hold the paper bag for her to breathe her emotions into. I know that this is a big step for her. I know that this is a wonderful surprise for her husband. I know that this step will benefit both of them. Yes there will be moments, but this is for her. This is to give her some freedom, some fun, something to see, something to start afresh, without having to make allowance for her time away from home with the excuse of manual labor for others.

I personally want her to see, that she is loved for her, not for what she does for others. I want her to know, that I want to see her without the hammer in her hand. I want to see her sitting back enjoying people's company, rather than having to prove herself in sweat. I want her to experience her, and I want to experience her, without her having to earn her holiday.

So don't give up on friendship. It may get rough. It may be gut wrenching but, you chose this friend so don't choose to turn your back when the road gets a little hazardous. Just strap yourself in, and your fast and furious drive will turn to a gentle drive in the countryside with views beyond belief. And you will be singing zippity doo dah with me.

Until next time, stay safe, keep the letters flowing in and love yourself, as well as others. You are worth it.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Spring! #newbeginnings #newseasons #love

2014-09-02T02:19:00.002-07:00

At last Spring has sprung! Its time to break out the deck chairs, open those drapes, toss the cover rugs, wash everything in sight, make the house sparkle like the sun, open the bubbly stuff and, wish your partner cheers as you hand him the list of jobs which I have just mentioned.

Seriously, Spring is a beautiful time of the year where you can see, you can feel, and you can witness new birth, new beginnings. You see churches and chapels fill with well wishers for the couples venturing on new horizons. The beaches start filling again accompanied with the smell of the coconut oil wafting. The ice creameries peddle their latest spring flavour. The bistros and the side walk cafe's start filling again with people, half clad, chomping on salads so as to rid themselves of the winter comfort food inches, that they have gained. The hair removal salons are packed to the rafters with men and women seeking their Amazons be turned to Brazilian wonders.

To me spring is a time of looking to a new future. It's a season of hope. It's a season of looking back briefly to the past, checking the things you have accomplished in those darker and colder times. Strategically deciding if the things of the past should indeed be left there and not revisited. Or, should they be refreshed, given a lick of paint, and viewed in a new light with renewed vigour. Some things are unachievable and, we must not spend time on things we can't change. Beating a dead mullet with a stick is not going to bring it back to life. So move on, change your way of thinking! You can't change the past, if the past is embedded in stone.

So often, we try so hard to change things, that we get tied down. We forget to move forward, stumble on those embedded stones and, fail to reach for the rainbow that we sought to achieve in the first place. I guess what I am saying is, that if we put the spring in our step, move forward, share the beauty that life has to offer and show the world in our own way, that we will move forward. Forward with love, with excitement, with hope, and a sense of belief that if we lead by a good example, those that knock and condemn, may respect, and accept, that a life spent with love, is far better than a life spent with negativity, inequality, and discrimination.

Let's celebrate together! Reach out, share new hope, share the growth of new beginnings. Put the spring in our step and believe that love, can indeed, conquer all. Grab a friend by the hand! Feel the summer breezes that are coming up from behind and, let the warmth that we share, carry us into a greater future. To those in the Northern Hemisphere, observe the rainbow the falling leaves shed as the troubles of the past, and move forward, with your southern friends and enjoy a life of freedom and equality.

Till next time keep the emails coming in and take care as I propose a toast from my deck chair for a world of harmony. Salute!

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Giving Thanks! #manners #respect #leadingbyexample

2014-08-30T01:04:00.000-07:00

Firstly, thanks for all the correspondence I have had for my last couple of blog posts. I usually leave the more controversial robust posts for my partner but this time they are mine. Blame the rain!

Whilst on the subject of rain, the other day - and I must point out this was not my local shopping centre, which is rather friendly, rather urbane, and rather pleasant - I was visiting a shopping centre and, in front of me at the check out was this lady and her child. As you are aware, I wait so patiently and observe the goings on he he! Back on track! The lady was being served at the checkout and she pulled a biscuit out of her handbag and to give to the child. While the service attendant was waiting to receive her credit card, and I waiting in line so patiently, the woman was teasing the child with the biscuit, like a dog obedience trainer is to a Labrador puppy teaching it to sit and heel. However, the mother and the child became less than playful with the training technique, with the child screaming for the biscuit and the mother screaming for a thank you. Eventually, after what seemed the lifespan of the Queen Mother, both achieved their reward. However, the child received a very sore bottom (which I do not agree with by the way) and the mother got the 'Thank you', she so desired. The lady snatched her credit card and receipt from the service attendant, stuffed the child into the trolley with another smack and scream. Then my turn came to be served with the checkout girl and myself just staring at each other, like two lost souls on a ship going to nowhere.

Not wishing to follow the woman, nor stalk her, I had three other shops that I needed to go to and, sure enough, there she was in front of the queue in two of the shops. For my third errand I decided to hop in the car and go back to Pleasantville to finish my last one.

The point that I am making here is - this "woman of the demanding thank you", not once thanked the servers who proffered their services to her. Not once, did she teach by example to her child, the courtesies which she so rigorously required. Is it so hard to simply say, 'Thank you' to people? Is it easier to demand, 'Thanks' than give it yourself. I think not! Yes the lady may have been having a tough day but is it necessary to use force for thanks? What is this teaching the child? Does this behaviour show them bullying is ok or, does it show that they can be bullied. Either way, its not the way I want my world to be.

Surely, all of us must agree, that a simple thanks does not take much energy from our tanks. But, that simple thanks may encourage others to return it in kind, as well. God knows the checkout operator may be having a tough day one day, jump the counter, and smack us for our lack of manners. How would we handle that one? Not well, I am prepared to swear on.
Ok, we all get absentminded at times and forget manners. But, don't you agree that the simplicities of life can be as rewarding as ticker tape parade down your Main Street. I know at home for instance, just a snatch and snarl may not comfort me sleeping on the couch. Each and everyone of us deserve the right of thanks when it is due. So let's just show it more often and not beat it into someone who forgets, or is learning life's complexities.

These are my thoughts! I hope you will keep writing in with your's and until next time take care! Always love each other, share a smile, share a shoulder, and share a kind thought for others.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

One Voice! #catholicchurch #pedophilepriests #abuse

2014-08-27T03:03:00.001-07:00

Firstly, I would like to thank all the people who emailed me and messaged me on Twitter supporting me with my last article. I feel humbled that there are so many people who care for those like me, who have opened wounds, that for most, have been hidden for many years. For many however, these wounds (and I cannot soften this term) have taken them to sadder places. Many have struggled in silence and will never have closure to their pain. Many have borne a shame that was not of their doing, but the doing of those that are the weakest form of life - those that have been able to hide their sin behind closed doors of churches. Those that sadly, to this day, are hidden, and lost in seas of red tape, by old men who would rather punish the victim than the criminal.

These old men are no better than those that have perpetrated the crimes upon innocents. These old men who only have faith in the money and power of churches. These men who forget that the people are the Church, and without them, they will have no churches to govern, no money to live the lives to which they have become so accustomed. These men who stand in their pulpits and preach the love of God and yet fail to show one glimmer of love and compassion for the ones who have suffered. These old men who do not realize that the victims would, for the most, be happy with an apology. To have the guarantee that these crimes will never happen again, and if they do, these clergy should face the law as any other man or woman on Earth. That these matters are of a civil nature, and not one, to be examined by men whose authority only acts to hide, and victimize, the truth of the innocent who already, for most, are God fearing people.

Why can't these old men see the suffering that the Catholic Church, itself, went through for decades before signing the Lateran Treaty in 1929. These men of faith who were feared by people like Mussolini because he was afraid of the strength and power of a Church, back then, of 400 million people. Imagine, if Mussolini (whose own father loathed the Church) felt weak without the Catholic Church, how victims feel when they are confronted by teams of lawyers who support this Church. Yet, these old men who know the strength of the Catholic Church, feel no compassion for their own who are already battle worn by criminals of the cloth. Yes, Pius XI signed that treaty with the fascists, and kept these men in the power positions that they still hold today.

I know for me, all I wanted was the apology and the blame being placed on the perpetrator not on me. I asked back then could he get help. That help appeared to have been given in the form of a promotion. Help that kept him very comfortable till his death. Yes, you may say I am a little bitter. My retort to that is, 'I am' but, that in itself may have been smoothed many years ago with a little compassion and respect for me as the victim.

For most of us, we ask nothing but understanding, for what we went through. We do not want to destroy the Church. However, we want the Catholic Church to know that it is made up of humans who are not without sin. We acknowledge that, so why is it so hard for these old men to just admit that they, and the clergy, are not born of the Virgin Mary but human like the rest of us. We just want these old men to believe their own preaching that the Church is of love, compassion, and healing.

So today, I just ask the Church to believe in their healing. However, firstly they must examine the wounds of the past, apply compassion, offer comfort, and maybe add some additional bandages (for those who seek compensation) but above all share the love, that Christ himself died for on the cross. Don't turn your anger on the victims! In return, you will gain a very mighty Church that is made up of people, of 'One Voice', in an unending hymn of love and faith.

Keep the emails rolling in and I hope that everyone stays safe until next time we talk.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

thepoliticalcarnival.net

Punishment, Cardinal Sins #abuse #pedophile #catholicchurch

2014-08-24T00:23:00.000-07:00

As you would have read recently, my body copped some punishment from paving. You may also realize by now that I am a sunshine boy and though I appreciate the rain, it gives me a trembling of what is to come. It gives me a damp shivers that cut deep to my heart and soul.

The last couple of days have rained continually and my sadness builds with every drop that falls. To this day, I am not a lover of sodden clothes. Along with the sodden clothes, and the punishment that this paving has given my body over the last few days, my mind wanders back to a time where I know I should have been able to enjoy simply being me, without consequence, without fear.

St Stephens Brisbane (en.wikipedia.org)

My mind wanders to when this young surfer boy with blue eyes, sun bleached, blonde hair, and brown as a berry skin, was learning to accept his own sexuality and simply being me. A young Catholic boy attending Catholic schools, attending Catholic rituals and trusting that confession was the correct, and God expected, thing to do. So, along to the parish priest I would go, expecting forgiveness in readiness for the next sins, and so forth, as all cheeky good boys would do. The priest of the time would accept my confession and deliver my penance. That penance was to be washing his car. He had a penchant for shiny chromed wheels. He would hold the hose pointing and drenching the sinner with water as he inspected his passion. So not to go home to my parents with sodden clothes they would need to be dried in the dryer while he satisfied another penchant and served his penance. The sins that I was developing needed to be curbed after all and who better than a man of the cloth to discourage my sins. Each sin he would proclaim in his words 'punishment time' and my body would learn the wrath of God in a very 'hard' way. For my initial sin, of admitting who I was, it was recommended that I speak solely to him, on a regular and confidential basis. Of which this dumb, little surfer boy accepted. How else without the acceptance of God was I going to exist in this world.

This 'punishment time' went for what seems to have been a life time. My saviour for my sins was to be going away with his parents for his father to be installed as Governor of a service organization. His advice was not to confess to his replacement but, to wait till his return, for what might be a bulk confession, and forgiveness, in one go. In his absence there was to be quite a few who would hold back their confessions until his return. Over the next few weeks a few of us discovered that our sins were familiar and carried the same penalties. Only then did we realize that, maybe they were not the will of God, but man made. Together, with discussion, we decided to meet with the Bishop to get his view on our 'acts of confession'. He agreed that these were not proper. He would deal with it. 'Priests were very hard to get,' he said so he would discourage him from his penchant for shiny chrome wheels.

Back then, none of us had any idea of compensation. Not one of us wanted nor needed it. We all came from fairly influential parents so what's money. All we needed was recognition and comfort for what we appeared to be suffering together. Suffering from being ourselves. To this day I might add none of us have been comforted by any member of the clergy. On his return from his fathers installation, my confessor confronted me and the others that we had ruined his life. That we would have embarrassed him to his Superintendent of Police father and Governor of this charity service organization.

His ruination existed for approximately 3 days until he was moved to the chaplain for elderly Catholic care-giving ladies. Later to be appointed parish priest of a new parish which consisted of a primary school and a boys boarding college. I guess a buffet of treats awaited for his ruination after all.

About two weeks ago now that same priest was buried with fanfare from the city cathedral, his parish church and a family ceremony. I would assume that his fanfare was not, as one of the guys in my group's, whose fanfare was from the hands of 3 predators, male prostitution, drugs and AIDS. Yes, I am one of the lucky ones, who accepted my life choices, never went to confession again, believed that my God is a God of love and that these inhumane humans will one day meet a greater penance giver, in their after life.

Yes, this rain brings sadness to me. Yes, my thoughts are not nice of Cardinals, who still have the right to offer nothing, but a lousy bit of money (yes money not compassion) for those who were not as lucky as me. Yes, my thoughts are angry as to why a man who served his church as a lay music minister in Chicago for 16 years was dismissed because he proposed to his boyfriend. Yes, my sadness is existent because my church was built on love - not on money, my church was built on equality - not on sexuality. Yet my church is governed by power, greed, and bigotry. These cardinals dress in frocks that our worst dressed drag queens would never wear on a Friday or Saturday night. These men need learn that the attendance at the very church, of which they govern, is falling below their hem line rather than just accepting that we all have failings. We all have sin, and together as one, we may build a faith that is built on love and respect for each, and every, human being. Only then will the flocks come back to the men in frocks.

So my prayer is:
Please God may the sunshine come out tomorrow,
May the downpour cleanse and refresh us,
May it give us hope for a better future, a future that is fueled by love not division.
May it give us a freedom to be who we are.
A freedom for the churches to take responsibility for their actions of neglect.
A freedom to say sorry for the sins of the past and never to repeat.
And may my prayer give Freedom to forgive and accept those sins of the past.
Amen.

Please keep up the emails. Until next time take care, and remember, we are in this together and the sun will come out tomorrow.

Cheers!

Bitchescoz

Contact: luke65mcbride@gmail.com

Tomorrow - Annie (Movie)

commons.wikimedia.org