Bitches Who Brunch

The Lust List: Polished in Peplum

2012-02-22T15:21:53Z

All who read the blog know two things: (1) the only thing I love as much as food is fashion and (2) I am the consummate girly girl. Ruffles, bows and feminine frills are abundant in my closet yet I also make way for lady-like structured pieces for a more refined look.

This spring, I’ve noticed peplum is a big trend. Through my musings online—I frequent Shop Bop for purchasing and Atlantic Pacific for style inspiration—I’ve stumbled on a lot of peplum pieces.

Photo credit: Atlantic Pacific

Then, while catching up on the fashion bible this weekend, it seems Ms. Wintour is all about some pleats and peplum this spring. In addition to a DC-centric article on cover lady Meryl Streep, the January Vogue featured an entire fashion spread on peplum pieces.

It always gives me a sense of pride when I think to myself “I’m going to buy such-and-such trend” and then Anna Wintour, Grace Coddington, and the fashion gods over at Conde Naste, affirm my taste. It’s like a holy fashion affirmation.

I love a peplum blouse with skinny jeans or skinny trousers and sky-high pumps. Put your hair in a high bun and swipe on some bright lipstick for added glamour.

If you’re against skinny pants (as many pear shaped gals are), go for a pencil skirt, tights, and pumps. Make sure your bottom half (skirt, tights, pumps) are the same shade—all black, all grey, all navy, for example—to elongate your figure. For a night out, pair a peplum top with a mini skirt or shorts in the summer.

A lady-like structured bag or clutch, bracelets and stud earrings will complement the look nicely.

Peplum Top in Floral Fresco Sateen, $350, J.Crew.

Photo credit: J.Crew

Tibi Katya Lace Combo Top, $275, Cusp.

Photo credit: Cusp

Ella Peplum Tee with Zip, $105, Alice + Olivia.

Photo credit: Alice + Olivia

Shell Top with Peplum, $39.39, Asos.

Photo credit: Asos

If you’re looking for simplicity (outfit creation is hard for some people), why not snazz up the typical sheath dress you wear to work by picking out a dress with peplum around the waist?

As with the peplum blouses, put on lady-like, simple classic accessories like round-toe pumps, stud earrings and a classic handbag.

Alice + Olivia Victoria Peplum Dress, $264, Shop Bop. (Also comes in navy and black.)

Photo credit: Shop Bop

Dress with frill at the waist, $99, Zara.

Photo credit: Zara

Jovonna Metallic Mix Dress with Peplum, $68, Asos.

Photo credit: Asos

This Week: February 20- 26

2012-02-21T22:07:57Z

It’s a short week, kittens, but it’s a busy week! This week begins with Fat Tuesday, ends with the Oscars, and offers DC Fashion Week in between. There’s plenty to keep you busy, happy, stylish and intoxicated. Here’s what we suggest.

Tuesday

Celebrate Fat Tuesday Mardi Gras style. There are events all around town. If you’re looking to get raunchy, head to the Bourbon Street Bash at Rumors. For something more upscale, enjoy a Venetian-style masquerade four-course dinner with live music for $85 at fabulous Italian restaurant Fiola. If you’re looking for something more relaxed, skip Fat Tuesday all together and enjoy Fitzgerald and Hemingway themed cocktails at Tabbard Inn’s “The Lost Generation” cocktail event.

Wednesday

Why not take a break from all the hussle-and-bussle with happy hour? Last week, I tried Zengo, which is owned by Richard Sandoval of El Centro and Masa 14. They have $5 small plates, glasses of wine, and cocktails from 5-8 p.m. Best of all, it’s located right next to the Gallery Place metro station, perfect for meeting up with friends from different metro lines. Zengo, 781 7th Street N.W., Washington, D.C.

Thursday

It’s the first Thursday of the month, which means it’s time for the Phillips After Five. It will be a Parisian-themed evening with shadow puppet show inspired by Parisian cabaret Le Chat Noir, and a Edgar Allan Poe Eureka play set to a live performance by songwriter Ellen Cherry. Tickets are $12, $10 for students and elders, and free for members. Cash bar. The Phillips Collection, 1600 21st Street N.W., Washington, D.C.

Haven’t had enough art? Then head to Arlington.

Remember that spectacular Salma Hayek movie Frida? Well, it’s based on talented Mexican artist Frida Kahlo, and her husband Diego Rivera. There will be an exhibition of the artist’s work for the first time ever in the United States at Artisphere in Rosslyn. In partnership with the Frida Kahlo Museum, the Embassy of Mexico, the Mexican Cultural Institute and Arlington County, Artisphere will display 259 photographs from her collection of nearly 6,500 images. The free opening party is Thursday from 7- 10 p.m. Artisphere, 1101 Wilson Blvd., Rosslyn, V.A.

Frida Kahlo

Saturday

DC Fashion Week culminates with the Emerging Designer Showcase & Concert. Up-and-coming designers from Washington’s top universities put together a showcase accompanied by live music performances. Doors open 6:30 p.m., fashion show at 7 p.m. Tickets are $25-45, online. The Washington Post Conference Center, 1150 15th Street N.W., Washington, D.C.

Later that evening, hit up L2 for the Arts for Autism Gala Launch Party. At the event, guests will nominate models for the Arts for Autism runway show, held this upcoming fall. Tickets are $15. 8-10 p.m., L2, 3315 Cady’s Alley N.W., Washington, D.C.

Sunday

Head to brunch followed by an Oscar watching party. Lately, we’ve enjoyed brunch at the Getaway, the Passenger, Irish Whiskey Public House, and Pearl Dive Oyster Palace (review coming this week).

Want to watch the Oscars from somewhere other than your couch? Head to the Hamilton for Art Soiree’s third annual Oscars party. Expect a red carpet, limos, paparazzi and Academy Awards themed cocktails. Black-tie recommended but not required. Tickets are $25. The Hamilton, 600 14th Street N.W., Washington, D.C.

Last but not least, don’t forget to sign up for One Medical’s luxury doctor’s office, you won’t be disappointed! Get 20% off your membership with the code BWBOM20

Recap: Valentine’s Day Thank You

2012-02-17T16:27:27Z

I spent this Valentine’s Day delivering 200 hand-signed valentines and special treats with a dozen of my girlfriends to the wounded servicemen and women undergoing rehabilitation at the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center.

We Bitches love being able to use our powers for good rather than evil, and we were able to call upon some fabulous local businesses to donate. We are so grateful to these amazing companies for helping make Valentine’s Day special for our military heroes.

We signed a lot of valentines

In addition to their donation, here’s why we love ‘em:

Fraiche Cupcakery‘s cupcakes are simple, adorable and delicious. Gone are the days of complicated unnecessarily large cupcakes. Fraiche Cupcakery makes delicious, comforting cupcakes in great flavors—and their vanilla can’t be beat. The bakery is located right in downtown Bethesda and we highly suggest you stop by next time after your next shopping and brunch excursion at Bethesda Row. I tried three flavors—vanilla, chocolate mocha and yellow cake with chocolate frosting—and they were all TDF (read: to-die-for). (Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter)

We love Powerade and Powerade Zero for keeping us hydrated! I especially love the red flavor for my marathon training, and we both love purple Powerade Zero for hangovers. (Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter)

Pretzel Crisps are the perfect salty, low-calorie snack whether you’re on-the-go or in front of the TV. I tend to eat late night with a slice of sharp cheddar cheese – don’t judge. (Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter)

Last but not least, we love Alexandria Cake Pops for taking our cake pop virginity. These cute pops are cake-on-a-stick but rich and sweet like a truffle. Heavenly. Cake pops are perfect for events like weddings and office parties because they’re mess-free and keep for up to seven days. (Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter)

Chadwicks Brunch

2012-02-16T15:50:25Z

It was an Old Town weekend. After a long night of tapas eating, salsa dancing, and hookah smoking at Las Tapas (a dimly lit, sexy little hole-in-the-wall on King Street), I dragged myself back said neighborhood for an 11 a.m. birthday brunch.

We let the birthday girl, Liz, pick the spot, and she chose the laid-back hideout Chadwicks. But, first, everyone had to find it.

The restaurant is off Union Street towards the water. Its definitely off the beaten path, and as I was directing people to it, I realized I was yelling “Just walk towards the water and the big empty lot!” into my phone from the middle of the restaurant.

It was a cold, clear day. One of those days when there’s not a cloud in the sky but the air is simply frigid. The freezing wind was whipping off the Potomac’s water. I felt bad for my lost Bitches, wandering around the back roads of Old Town looking for this joint.

Brooke and I arrived early, so we plopped ourselves at a big round table on the second floor and ordered what looked like the best option to soak up our headaches—the beef brisket sliders.

Maybe it was our hangovers, or our hunger, but those sliders were delicious. Three bite-sized burgers, thick with meat, and succulent. They were piled high with pulled pieces of beef and covered in sweet barbecue sauce. The buns were slightly toasted buttered brioche, and there was a horseradish aioli on the side. Amazing.

OK. Now that we had some food in our stomachs, we could focus on our surroundings. The restaurant itself is dressed up like an antique ship. It’s all dark wood and nautical-themed knick knacks.

It’s been there since 1967, which isn’t really old compared to the rest of ancient Old Town, but it tries to be—down to the gold plaque by the front door that indicates the high water mark of the last historic hurricane. That would be Isabel in 2003.

There’s a converted alley to the side of their restaurant that they’ve turned into a sun room with tables. It’s got potted plants and windows, and the walls are exposed brick. Like the side room at Columbia Firehouse down the street, it’s a sunny alternative to the dark bar inside.

Sidenote: There’s a sign on the door that says “Sorry pardners. Unless you’re the law, please leave your side arms in the car,” that I found rather hilarious.

The server was laid back, and looked hungover himself. His hair was in a pony tail and he was scruffy. He quickly brought us water and coffee, and then handed us the enormous brunch menu. The menu is huge, really, but well-organized into sections: soups and starters, brunch classics, burgers, sandwiches, salads, comforts, chefs specialties, and sides.

There are some Cajun influences on the menu (the Jambalaya scramble), some Mexican influences (the burrito), even some New England influences (clam chowder—a house recipe for 32 years—and crab cakes). Hell, there’s even bangers and mash from jolly old England and a smoked Scottish salmon bagel from even further north. Either this chef is a worldly man or he’s having an identity crisis.

Once the birthday girl arrived, decked out from head to toe in her favorite shade of purple (really. Even down to the Michael Kors signature bag in purple. Where do you even find that?!), we started popping bottles like a G6.

Chadwick’s has a decent deal for brunch beverages: mimosas, Bloody Marys or screwdrivers for $3 a piece. Or bottles of cava for $9. The cava tasted pretty cheap, though, and on top of my hangover I couldn’t stomach much. But, it was ideal for toasting the birthday girl, Miss Liz.

We ALL wanted the burrito. It sounded perfect: three scrambled eggs with Andouille sausage, onions, cheddar jack cheese and salsa fresca. Then, the server said they were out of the burrito. We all cried loudly. “How do you run out of a burrito? Do you mean you are out of the tortillas? Or are you out of eggs? Because if you’re out of eggs we might be leaving.” and so on went our whining.

In my disappointment I ordered—what else?—the Benny. But this time I went with the steak Benedict, just to mix it up a bit. At Chadwicks they call it the Eggs Omar, and it’s two poached eggs on top of grilled tenderloin steak strips, which are on top of an English muffin. It’s topped with a Bearnaise sauce, which honestly didn’t taste of much. I gobbled up the dish because I was starving, not because it was awesome.

The croissant sandwich was greasy. It had baked ham inside, cheddar cheese, two eggs, and home fries on the side. It was one big plate of grease, and not so tasty.

Liz’s husband ordered off the “comfort” section of the menu and went for the fried chicken. The tiny, pathetic little piece of fried chicken was presented next to a buttermilk biscuit and a small dish of mac and cheese. I laughed pretty hard at this dish. All the pieces were sliding around.

Another Bitch ordered the three egg omelet. Along with three eggs, you get your pick of three ingredients, from peppers and spinach to sausage, bacon, and a variety of cheeses. You can also get toast or home fries on the side, but this bitch got a bagel instead. Meh.

Overall, the food was mediocre but the company made it a fun brunch.

The Bitches say: C. Subpar food, average service, an average drink deal, and a hard-to-find location.

Chadwicks
203 The Strand
Alexandria, VA 22314
(703) 836-4442

Asia 9 Brunch

2012-02-15T12:38:30Z

For me, there is something inherently masochistic about experiencing and writing a bad brunch review. Like the asshole boyfriend you just can’t quit, or that fabulous skirt that makes your ass look enormous but you wear anyway—a bad brunch is pleasure-yet-pain.

Remember that awful brunch at Mei n Yu in 2010? Yes, well, Asia 9 is the 2012 version. The folks at Asia 9, that random but enormous Asian fusion restaurant in Metro Center, sent us numerous persistent e-mails inviting us for a complimentary brunch.

Fine, I acquiesced. I’m a poor non-profit employee and graduate student. I’ll go. Let’s see what this Asian brunch is all about. I took along Amanda Jean, our Baby Bitch, for the ride.

I arrived hungover, part of my whole I’m-single-and-irresponsible-yet-responsible December bender.

Upon arrival, Amanda Jean was seated at a table in the very empty restaurant. There were perhaps six other diners this morning (bad sign). A cherubic, rotund little Asian man leapt upon me as I walked in the door and led me to our table, handing me a press folder along the way. This little man would soon become my worst enemy.

I sat down, politely requesting a glass of water and a Thai iced tea. Then, said Asian chap opened the press folder and began a history lesson on China (in case you missed class in middle school, China has a very, very long history), and eulogizing the Chinese empire. Carrying on, he says, in a thick accent, “PAN-ASIAN means cuisine that goes from Thailand across Southeast Asia to China.”

“Yes,” I said. “I am aware of the definition of Pan-Asian.” My eyes bulging out of my head. This is going to be a long brunch. Amanda Jean looked at me, terrified.

Asia Nine’s brunch menu is as such: five dim sum choices for $25 plus $1 mimosas and Bloody Marys. Amanda Jean’s mimosa was heavy on un-fresh orange juice and low on the champagne. Additionally, at the bottom was a Maraschino cherry. (Who does that?)

My Thai iced tea was delicious—but saccharine—sweet and milky (as is the M.O. for Thai iced tea).

The first dish was the best, and it wasn’t that good. The shrimp shumai, a deep-fried shrimp dumpling topped with spicy mayo was yummy and tasted like shrimp—only there weren’t any inside.

Then, on to the traditional Thai rice wraps, what we know as dim sum dumplings, which came in three flavors. The rice wrapper was (a) coated in slime, (b) stuck to the dish, and (c) fell apart.

Says Amanda Jean, “Now, I’m no stranger to different cuisines, but I had yet to try dim sum, and I was actually pretty excited. That was until I tried Asia 9’s dim sum. The noodle outside of the dumplings clung to the tray like a needy boyfriend, and by the time I was able to hoist the dumpling onto my plate there was nothing left but a lifeless noodle carcass and strewn about insides.”

The first flavor, shrimp with bamboo shoots, again, didn’t contain any shrimp. The second, taro roots with peanuts with carrots and Chinese celery, was all peanuts and swimming in a thick dark-red sugary Cantonese sauce that is bound to give you a stomach ache. The third, sweet turnip and peanut, again, was all peanuts.

Then arrived the sesame tempura, which was extremely oily and lacked any sesame to be found. Sweet potatoes, zucchini and taro root were deep-fried and served with a crusted peanut sauce.

“The vegetable tempura was tasty, but was unfortunately a little too greasy and oily for my taste. Simply pressing the grease out would have made the dish much better,” says Amanda Jean.

On to the crispy rice cracker, a chicken and shrimp dish served in Thai red curry peanut sauce over crispy rice crackers. The rice crackers were, hard, stale and yucky. Again, you could hardly find the shrimp between the chicken. Most importantly, the sauce tasted nothing like Thai red curry.

Later, the chive pancake, chopped chives mixed with korean flour and fried, was undercooked and mushy. Yes, I said moosh-y.

The excruciatingly awful experience continued as such—the waitress would bring out an oily, un-fresh awful dim sum dish. The cherubic man would scuttle over and launch into a two-minute tirade, defining the dish, which encompassed reading the ingredients off the menu that was already sitting in front of both Amanda Jean and I. Then, he would stare at us while we took our first bites. Ignoring my clearly aloof and disapproving eyes and Amanda’s looks of horror that read “Ew” and “Eek” throughout the process.

At one point, he sat down in the empty chair next to poor little Baby Bitch. Shooting him looks of death, I said, smiling through my teeth, “Are you joining us?”

He hopped up, nearly knocking the next atrocious dish out of the waitress’s hands. “Oh. Oh. No, no,” he chirped.

Before we moved on to the noodle dishes, I’m told the pork pot stickers (gyozas) were pretty decent, as non-vegetarian Baby Bitch gave them a try. “Luckily the tasty dumplings made up partially for the poor dim sum experience. They had just the right dough to meat ratio, and were served with a classic dumpling sauce which made for an overall delightful taste,” she says.

After this amalgamation of grease and horror, we were on to noodles and dessert. The paid Thai was edible, bordering on good: chicken, bean sprouts, scallions, peanuts and noodles. Hooray! If you’re at Asia 9, you can eat something!

The other noodle dish, the rice noodle, was served with chopped frozen vegetables, like the kind you get in a cafeteria. Need I say more?

For dessert, Chinese donuts arrived. Chinese donuts are Malaysian-style deep fried strips of dough (like a Chinese churro) served with condensed milk. Again, too oily, and hard on the outside. Hard and oily. And the condensed milk frightened me.

Lastly, the jackfruit bread pudding, served with Indonesian jackfruit, sliced almonds and a creme anglaise. One of my pet peeves is when the accoutrements listed aren’t presented, and such was the sitch with this dish. Pray tell, where is the Indonesian jackfruit? Then, more condensed milk, more fear.

In conclusion, if Asia 9 put one iota of energy into creating decent cuisine, rather than overly unenthusiastic (and undeserved) public relations, perhaps their brunch would stand a chance.

The Bitches say: F. Awful ingredients. Disgusting flavors. Poor preparation. Bizarre menu. Painfully strange and socially awkward service. Stay away.

Asia 9
915 E Street N.W.
Washington, D.C.
(202) 629-4355

The Lust List: Eyeing Emerald

2012-02-14T13:15:01Z

Ladies, we all know jewel tones were popular for fall. And what, pray tell, is a better jewel than an emerald?

Honestly, I’ve never been much for green. But, the rich dark-green hue pairs well with my two favorite colors—fuchsia and navy—so it was only a matter of time before I came around.

Back in December, I lauded emerald cocktail dresses as an alternative to red for holiday parties. Well, it’s February, and I’m still loving all things emerald.

Emerald baubles with a little black dress for a night out on the town? But, of course.

Emerald earrings mixed in with gold accessories for day-to-day? A great change of pace.

Emerald-hued clothes and accessories worked into your wardrobe—why not?

I wear a lot of navy-and-white striped tops and dresses (I was meant to be French). In order to mix in a third color—emerald green pairs well (as do orange and pink).

I highly recommend adding a emerald green silk blouse to your clothing repertoire.

Fuchsia pants and pencil skirts would look stunning with a silk emerald top for a day-to-night look. If your office is more formal, wear an emerald silk blouse under your black or navy two-piece suit. Or, if you’re feeling uninspired, throw it on with black skinny pants. On the weekends, toss on your emerald silk blouse with jeans and those snakeskin pumps you just purchased for a to-the-moment look.

Haute Hippie Cowl Blouse, $235 , Shop Bop.

Photo credit: Shop Bop

Patterson J. Kinkaid Deanna Tunic, $118, Shop Bop.

Photo credit: Shop Bop

Tabitha Blouse in Jade, $118, J.Crew.

Photo credit: J.Crew

Kolea Daphne Top, $189, Revolve Clothing.

If emerald trousers strike your fancy, pair with a navy, white, black, pink or navy-and-white striped top.

Cafe Capri in Jade, $89.50, J.Crew.

Kolae Bran Trouser, $198, Revolve Clothing.

Or, a full skirt if you’d like to cover up some of those holiday pounds.

Nanette Lepore Desirably Pleated Skirt, $198, Bloomingdale’s.

Photo credit: Bloomingdale's

If you’re looking to accessorize, why not pick up a pair of Tory’s revas in the fun shade or a pair of emerald studs (on sale by Kate Spade).

Tory Burch reva flats in Emerald, $195, Shop Bop.

Kate Spade Emerald Studs, $61, Piperlime.

This Week: Feb 13-19

2012-02-13T04:02:07Z

Love is in the air. Or maybe it’s just lots of chocolate and champagne that’s clouding my vision. Either way, I’m OK with it.

Monday

Seemingly answering my prayers, today begins the Week For Chocolate. Over a dozen Georgetown merchants are offering free chocolatey drinks, dessert, and food to badge-holders. Hop around all week and get your fill of cocoa treats from Sprinkles Cupcake, Godiva, Serendipity, Iceberry, and more. The sweetest part is, a portion of every badge sold benefits Leadership Greater Washington. See the full list of merchants here. Get your badge here.

Tuesday

Smoochy, smoochy! It’s everyone’s least/most favorite holiday of the year, ze big V. Still need plans? Whether you’re heading out with friends or looking for a last-minute spot for your sweetie, check out our guide to Valentine’s Day. It has lots of ideas and gifts from our partners in crime.

Wednesday

So Monday you have chocolate, Tuesday a little romance, we think Wednesday you need to top all that off with some champagne. The Roof Terrace Restaurant in the Kennedy Center is hosting a champagne tasting Wednesday evening, featuring hors d’oeuvres, live jazz, and of course bubbly from the house of Laurent-Perrier, sparkling wines from Schramsberg, world-class Proseccos and more. Reservations required; make them here.

Thursday

Valentine’s came and went, and you had no date you say? Thursday, Hudson is hosting its second annual Valentine’s Day Singles After Party and date auction fundraiser for Fashion4Paws. Some of D.C.’s most eligible will be on the block to help raise money for the cause. Plus, there will be $5 drink specials, palm reading, belly dancing, and more.

Friday

Napoleon Bistro & Lounge is celebrating its five-year anniversary this week by busting out a brand-new menu. The menu features a wide array of creative French petits plats, classic entrees, and a Chef’s daily-changing menu. Check it out here, and make reservations for your weekend dinner.

Saturday

It’s the long weekend, so make it three days of Fundays. We brunched at Daily Grill, Lincoln, Ben’s Next Door, and Chadwick’s over the weekend. Watch for those reviews this week.

Madhatter Brunch

2012-02-10T18:59:53Z

There was a table set out in the back of a restaurant just south of the Circle, and Tammy the March Hare and Becca the Hatter were having brunch at it. A Dormouse, Christina, was sitting between them, fast asleep from hangover, and the other two were using her as a cushion, resting their elbows on her, and talking over her head.

‘Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,’ thought Alice, err, Alex; ‘only, as it’s asleep, I suppose it doesn’t mind.’

The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it: ‘No room! No room!’ they cried out when they saw Alex coming. ‘There’s PLENTY of room!’ said Alex indignantly, and he sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table.

‘Have some mimosas,’ Tammy the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.

Alex looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but coffee. ‘I don’t see any mimosas,’ he remarked.

‘There isn’t any,’ said the March Hare.

‘Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it,’ said Alex angrily.

‘It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited,’ said the March Hare.

‘I didn’t know it was YOUR table,’ said Alex; ‘we’re here to talk about Uber.’

‘Your hair wants cutting,’ said Becca the Hatter. She had been looking at Alex for some time with great curiosity, and this was her first speech.

‘You should learn not to make personal remarks,’ Alex said with some severity; ‘it’s very rude.’

The Hatter opened her eyes very wide on hearing this; but all she said was, `Why is a raven like a writing-desk?’

… Poor Alex Priest. He had fallen down the rabbit hole that is a bottomless brunch with the Bitches. And, after four hours of brunching, this Mad Tea Party was definitely more Lewis Carroll than Disney.

We were also joined by Emil, who we’ll call the King (Queen) of Hearts, and Scott, who was our quiet but wise Cheshire Cat that day. And when this very odd collection of six Twitter friends gathered, we all collectively thought, ‘Well, this is what this place looks like in daylight,’ and compared our Madhatter happy hour experiences.

There’s a room in the back that’s made especially for a large mad brunch, with a long table in the center and a table on the ceiling. All the pictures are upside down. Wait, wait. The table you’re sitting at is on the ceiling. This is Wonderland, after all.

We were all starved when we arrived, and so before we even started the waterfall of mimosas, we ordered the item on the menu that was haughtily calling the most attention. That is, The Best Donut Ever. We ordered it to share, though this dish is probably not meant for sharing, being listed as a “sandwich” and falling to pieces once you cut into it.

We were slightly disappointed when it was presented because we were under the impression that it was going to be infused with its promised ingredients: scrambled eggs, sausage and cheese. Instead, it was a donut (and no Krispy Kreme—c’mon, it’s right across the street), cut in half, with those things piled inside.

Ah, well. We continued on Alice’s journey through Wonderland.

As Becca the Hatter is calling the shots, we went for the bottomless mimosas. At the bar, servers were pouring cartons of orange juice and bottles of Andre champagne into enormous plastic tubs, which was then transferred into carafes, which were then distributed to tables.

Yes, we said Andre (strike one) and yes, we said whole cartons of orange juice (strike two). We absconded with a carafe of champagne to reduce the ratio of juice-to-champagne in the beverages. But, you can’t beat $10 for bottomless.

Awoken from her hangover, our Dormouse, Christina, went to the bloody Mary bar, which was quite amazing—a wall of hot sauces and accouterments. She came back with a thick concoction with an asparagus sticking out. It served her hangover well.

Right after our first carafes of mimosas arrived, a basket of piping hot pastry balls was dropped on the table. Steam rose up as soon as you broke them open, and we dropped in slices of orange-blossom butter that immediately melted inside. It was delicious, gooey pastry inside, and a glazed crust on the outside. Wonderful little balls, indeed.

Alice, or Alex, had the Eggs Benedict and practically licked his plate. The two big poached eggs were served on thin slices of ham, folded over, on English muffins, with home fries on the side. The home fries were nothing special. So the March Hare ordered a basket of French fries to share with the table. They were served with three sauces: honey mustard, barbecue, and ketchup. We had to ask for it five times, but it was worth it in the end.

Our waitress had clearly just stepped into her own special Wonderland. She was rather excited and strange, though attentive to our needs for the most part. We asked her to tell us about the omelets, and her eyes opened wide with, “Ohh it’s an interactive omelet EXPERIENCE!” Her eagerness prompted the March Hare and Cheshire Cat (Tammy and Scott) to make their way through Wonderland and see for themselves.

It was, indeed, a magical experience; beginning with the mystical Staples-brand raffle ticket you’re expected to deliver to the happy chef at the station. Normally, omelet station guys are generally pretty grumpy. Think about it—they have to stand there all day and take people’s orders. The only exciting part of the job is the wacky permutations of omelets that people prefer. This guy, said the pair, was super friendly, and seemed to multitask both the omelet griddle and the Belgian waffle maker with speed.

For the Hatter, the Hangover Helper, which turned out to be rather gross—for lack of a better term. It was a big plate with various breakfast bits all slopped into one. The mess included biscuits, scrambled eggs, home fries, shredded cheddar cheese and bacon, sausage, or ham. It was topped with sausage gravy and served with a side of toast. I have to concede, however, that along with a stiff bloody Mary, this dish would probably swallow up even the worst of hangovers.

The Dormouse decided upon the breakfast burrito, which was packed with lots of scrambled eggs, sausage, and peppers.

The King of Hearts—Emil—had the French toast, which was three thick slices of Pullman white or raisin bread, dipped in the house vanilla batter, grilled and served with a side of sausage or bacon. He said it was tasty, and it’s a good thing, or else it would be off with their heads! It seems the waitress would live to see another day of painting the roses red.

You could tell the toast had just been made, said our King of Hearts, as you could taste the egg flavor, whereas in some places they’re overdone and covered with maple syrup.

The Mad Hatter’s final note, after my mad ramblings about the food, is that the bathrooms were atrocious. For a restaurant that large, having just one workable stall in a tiny ladies restroom is simply unacceptable.

The Bitches say: B- A good bottomless deal, with average food.

Madhatter
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The Bitches Guide to Valentine’s Day

2012-02-09T18:15:40Z

If you haven’t planned your Valentine’s Day yet, you might be procrastinating just a tad. Or perhaps, passing up a date with Prince Charming, you’ve decided to spend the evening upping your friendship karma by celebrating as a singleton out on the town.

Either way, we’ve got some suggestions—and special gifts—just for you. We’ve collaborated with our partners to bring you four ways to make it amazing. Will you be our Valentine?

Do a Fabulous Dinner

Whether you’re celebrating with friends or as a couple, make reservations for dinner at Policy. They’ll be serving up a four-course tasting menu Tuesday evening for just $60 per person, or $90 with drink pairings. All ladies get roses, and there will be some surprises for everyone from the chef.

The Valentine’s menu is adorable. It goes from the First Date, an oyster ménage a trios; to Infatuation, a roasted beet salad or cauliflower soup; to True Love, pan seared scallops or grilled filet mignon. And finally, the Happy Ending, a spicy chocolate heart, red velvet cake or sticky date bar. Everyone likes a happy ending, right?

Work Up a Sweat

Yes, in the bedroom. But before you do that, make sure you’re svelte for your sweetie by working up a sweat in the gym. Mint, in addition to their V-Day gift cards with chocolate goodies, is offering two special gifts just to Bitches readers …

First, a two-month membership to either location plus four duo 50-minute sessions with a personal trainer for $490 (regularly $700). Click here for this exclusive gift. And, in case you need to take our your Valentine’s Day blues in the ring, four Prime Time Boxing sessions (gloves and wraps are provided) and a sports massage for $165 (regularly $225). Click here for this exclusive gift.

Get Healthy

It’s always sexy to be healthy. One Medical Group makes it convenient, too. The member-support boutique doctor’s offices allow for same-day appointments, which can be made online (along with prescription refills). It’s like it was made for busy young professionals in D.C.

If you joined us at last month’s New Year, Healthy Bitches event and didn’t receive your code for a free one-year membership, simply email us and we’ll pass it along. It’s only good until the 19th. Or, if you’d like to sign up today, click here and use the code BWBOM20 for 20 percent off a one-year membership (expires 3/18).

Be Sophisticated

The Sophistocrats, an exclusive by-invitation-only social club in D.C., give their advice for making it a special Valentine’s Day … Don’t be cliché, they said. Gone are the days of flowers and boxes of chocolate. Instead, try to recreate a small memory (perhaps take your Valentine to the place you had your first date). Write how you feel—don’t rely on Hallmark.

If you’re going for a romantic dinner, leave the phones behind and focus on one another. Gentlemen, surprises are best, so keep secret plans secret. Ladies, now’s the time to try that thing he’s been asking you about. Be chivalrous. Book reservations in advance. And finally, remember that the love shouldn’t stop after the 14th. Make every day Valentine’s Day!

The Lust List: Snakeskin Pumps

2012-02-09T14:58:11Z

About two years ago, I looked in my closet and I realized it looked like I had a personality disorder. There were so many prints—stripes and polka dots mainly—that nothing went together. I literally had a couple solid-colored shirts that I’d wear with everything else.

As I transitioned from college to the real world, I vowed to invest in wardrobe-building pieces in solid colors, or in reliable mix-worthy prints. I stocked up on skinny trousers, designer jeans, tailored blazers, comfortable-yet-sexy pumps in a variety of shades, and silk blouses. Pencil skirts, lace tops, chambray button downs and other wardrobe staples also made the cut. Accessories—clutches, bangles and baubles— are gold, just to keep things simple and classic.

There are a few key prints—navy and white stripes, watercolor florals and leopard print—that mix well with lots of other wardrobe staples. Beyond that, you have to be careful. When shopping, I strive to buy items that will work with at least 10 other items in my closet.

Previously, I’d snubbed snakeskin. But, lately, I’ve been singing a different tune. Snakeskin accessories—a clutch or pumps—can add subtle texture to an otherwise solid outfit.

Solid top and blazer with jeans or black pants? Throw on some snakeskin pumps.

Boring black suit in the office? Put on some snakeskin pumps in lieu of your regular black pair.

You can pretty much wear snakeskin pumps with solid colored dresses of any kind.

Personally, taking a cue from a page in Harper’s Bazaar’s November issue, I’m loving a little red dress with snakeskin pumps.

Photo credit: Harper's Bazaar

Piggybacking off of that, I love the serpentine subtly with all things red-and-tan. Or tan-and-black. Both looks are sophisticated-yet-simple.

Photo credit: Atlantic Pacific

Khaki trousers, a red blouse and snakeskin pumps? Yes.

As we speak, I’m wearing my newly purchased snakeskin pumps with my red J.Crew mini pants and a camel colored sweater with cute little elbow patches.

As it warms up, wear said pumps with a white or ivory dress. Monochromatic neutrals were a big hit on the Spring 2012 fashion week runways.

Snakeskin shoes have been spotten on some of my favorite fashion blogs– like these snakeskin Louboutins on Sea of Shoes.

Photo credit: Sea of Shoes

And these stunning booties on Atlantic Pacific.

Here are my picks.

Michael Kors Snakeskin Pumps, $250, Neiman Marcus

Pour La Victorie Irina II Pump, $150, Endless.

Ivanka Trump Pinksy Platform Pump, $104, Endless.

Enzo Angiolini Smiles Pump, $99, Endless.

Snakeskin Pumps, $50, Zara.