Bitchy Big Brother Blog

Big Brother Gossip Show is back!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 04 Feb 2022 16:03:00 +0000

The Big Brother Gossip Show is back and on Day Drinking! We've already recorded an episode breaking down the cast and going over that premiere. Every Thursday Scott & I will continue to cover all the house shenanigans for the run of Celebrity Big Brother. To sign up, head to Patreon.com/DayDrinking.

Also, if you like our analysis and are a Bravo fan, you might want to sign up at the Bravo Bonus Show level. Each week Scott & I point and laugh at all of the ridiculous bitchiness of the Housewives. Right now, we're covering Real Housewives Of Salt Lake City and Real Housewives of Orange County. In a couple weeks, we'll start tackling those bitches in Jersey. No PC b.s., no woke narratives, no towing the company lines. We keep it real, honest and based in logic. If you're sick of the new jargon, new rules, and all of the woke ridiculousness, we are your people!

If you still need your Celebrity Big Brother feeds, click on the link below. I think it's going to be a great season!

BB23 Live Feeds!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 06 Jul 2021 12:41:00 +0000

Hey kids, Big Brother 23 starts tomorrow, July 7 and you'll need a subscription to Paramount Plus to watch the Live Feeds. Click below to sign up!

Meet all the new Houseguests before they move in with Paramount+. Try it FREE!

Get 1 Month Free of Paramount+

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 04 Mar 2021 13:44:00 +0000

Hey kids, it's Paramount Plus Launch Day! Normally, I could care less about half of the streaming services that launch every few months, but this is one I'm actually excited for. Yes, you will get your Big Brother Live Feeds from Paramount Plus from now on, but I can't wait for the Yellowstone Prequel! And don't get me started on that upcoming show based on Flashdance. You definitely won't see me turn my nose up at Top Gun: Maverick either. (Paramount Plus peeps will get big Paramount movies 45 days after they premiere in theaters).

If you missed the last deal I posted, never fear! I've got a new one for you. Sign up by March 31, 2021 and you will get 1 month free. Simply click on the link below.

Get 50% off Paramount+

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 25 Feb 2021 16:10:00 +0000

On March 4, CBS All Access is becoming Paramount+ and you’ve got to see this.

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Watch tens of thousands of episodes from CBS, BET, Comedy Central, MTV, Nickelodeon and Smithsonian Channel, as well as exclusive originals and hundreds of iconic movies from Paramount Pictures.

Can’t wait? Sign up for a CBS All Access annual plan today and for a limited time we'll sweeten the deal with 50% off your first year. Then stream even MORE shows, movies & originals when your subscription transitions over to Parmount+ on March 4. Offer expires on 03/03/2021 11:59 PM GMT. Terms and conditions apply.

CLICK BELOW and use the code PARAMOUNTPLUS.

New! CBS All Access. Watch CBS Shows On Demand. Anytime, Anywhere. Live TV & Next-day new episodes. Free Trial!

LIVE FEEDS PREMIERE THIS WEEK!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 04 Aug 2020 18:13:00 +0000

After much confusion and speculation as to when the Live Feeds for Big Brother 22 would start, we finally have confirmation from CBS.

Per the new CBS Press Release...

"CBS All Access:

BIG BROTHER Live Feeds: CBS All Access’ BIG BROTHER Live Feeds offer an in-depth, exclusive pass to the show across platforms. Fans will have the opportunity to watch all the action inside the BIG BROTHER house when the Live Feeds begin on Wednesday, August 5, after the west coast broadcast of the series premiere (after 11:30 PM, PT/2:30 AM, ET on Thursday, August 6). Feeds will be available through the CBS All Access subscription service.
Watch BIG BROTHER live and on demand across devices: Through CBS All Access, fans across the U.S. will be able to stream the live, local broadcast of BIG BROTHER across multiple platforms, and catch up on every episode on demand after they air.
Every episode of every season of BIG BROTHER: CBS All Access offers every episode of every season of BIG BROTHER for fans to catch up on and enjoy."

Click on any of the CBS All Access links on this blog to sign up for the Live Feeds and get 1 month free.

Big Brother 22!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 23 Jul 2020 23:20:00 +0000

After an eternal summer of lockdowns, quarantines, pure insanity and speculation, we finally have a premiere date for Big Brother 22. BB22 will start August 5th with a 2 hour premiere episode on CBS.

And because Big Brother is back, that means the Big Brother Gossip Show is back as well! We're working out the schedule right now, but look for a preseason episode to pop up the weekend before the premiere. Details to come.

You can click on any of the CBS All Access links on this blog to subscribe to the Live Feeds. If you don't see the ads, try turning off your ad browser

Since 22 happens to be my lucky number, I'm assuming that means Paul and Nicole will NOT be on the new season. Time to throw some virgins on the fire!

More news to come as this story develops.

Until then, please to enjoy the official CBS Press Release regarding Big Brother 22:

"The summer reality hit BIG BROTHER will debut its 22nd season with an All-Star cast who have one thing in common – they all have something to prove. The two-hour live move-in premiere event will air Wednesday, August 5 (9:00-11:00 PM, live ET/delayed PT) on the CBS Television Network.

This summer marks BIG BROTHER’s 20th anniversary since debuting on CBS Television Network on July 5, 2000. Season 22 is the second time in the series’ history to feature an All-Star cast, the first being in 2006.

BIG BROTHER will once again have three weekly episodes. Following the premiere, the series will air Sundays and Wednesdays (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT), and Thursdays (8:00-9:00 PM, live ET/delayed PT), featuring the live eviction show hosted by Julie Chen Moonves. The All-Star houseguests, including winners, finalists, legends, memorable personalities and some of the best to never win the game, will be announced closer to premiere.

The BIG BROTHER production will follow specific health and safety protocols for COVID-19 with the welfare of everyone involved as the highest priority. Houseguests will undergo a quarantine period prior to production and will be tested several times prior to entering the House. Once inside, they will be tested weekly during the season and have no contact with any crew members, and all supplies delivered will be disinfected. In addition, the live show will not have a studio audience.

All staff and crew members will be tested prior to commencing work on a regular basis, as well as screened daily for symptoms. They’ll be required to wear PPE and will work in pods to enhance social distancing. In addition, a COVID-19 compliance officer will be on staff to monitor and enforce all health and safety COVID-19 protocols.

Since its premiere on CBS in the summer of 2000, BIG BROTHER has continued to be one of television’s top-rated summer series in young demographics. Last summer, the Wednesday and Thursday episodes were tops in key demos among all broadcasts. In addition, season 21 of BIG BROTHER saw double-digit growth over the previous season in full episode streams across CBS digital platforms.

BIG BROTHER follows a group of people living together in a house outfitted with 94 HD cameras and 113 microphones, recording their every move 24 hours a day. Each week, someone will be voted out of the house, with the last remaining Houseguest receiving the grand prize of $500,000. BIG BROTHER is produced by Emmy Award-winning producer Allison Grodner and Rich Meehan for Fly on the Wall Entertainment in association with Endemol Shine North America."

BIG BROTHER GOSSIP SHOW PREMIERES TONIGHT!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 22 Jun 2019 12:51:00 +0000

It's the day you've all been waiting for. After months of pining, listening to old episodes, practicing your drinking and staring at your iTunes waiting for a new episode to show up, the time has finally arrived. The Big Brother Gossip Show is back bitches! Our Cast Rundown episode premieres tonight and you don't want to miss it. We'll be giving you a tour of the new house, analyzing the cast interviews, speculating on twists, and talking about that Feed Leak from yesterday.

The Big Brother Gossip Show premieres tonight at 9pm ET. You can join us live on Mixlr or listen tomorrow on iTunes or Stitcher. Scott, Mike and I will be there and so will the alcohol. Make sure you're following me on Twitter for reminders and links where to listen.

There's no better way to support the Big Brother Gossip Show than by becoming a Big Brother Gossip Show Patron! When you become a Patron, not only are you saying thank you for all the hard work we do, but you'll get lots of stuff in return. You can get access to Day Drinking, the Bravo Bonus Show, the Day Drinking Newsletter or even get a shoutout as an Executive Producer. Head on over to our Patreon page to sign up. Click HERE

Did you miss the Feed Leak? Why, you silly goose. You need to have the feeds to catch sneaky stuff like that. I can guarantee you that there will be more between now and the premiere on Tuesday June 25th. Make sure you've got your Live Feeds. Signing up now will get you through the entire season. Waiting a day or two doesn't get you any extra days so click below and do it already!

Big Brother 21 Cast Reveal Monday!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 15 Jun 2019 00:01:00 +0000

The new season is right around the corner, kids. The rumors are rampant (and scary AF). But no matter who goes in the house, we'll all be staring glassy eyed on Premiere night trying to figure out alliances, deciding who we'll defend to the death on Twitter, and subscribing to the Big Brother Gossip Show.

I've updated all of the links on the blog for you guys to sign up for your Live Feeds. Next week I will post a schedule of all the important dates you need to know.

This Monday, June 17th, Jeff will be back to do the Cast Interviews. I'm looking into my crystal ball and I think I can already see his questions... Would you rather be hated and win or loved and lose? Are you single and open to a showmance? If you could be any animal, what would you be? You can only see the Cast Interviews on CBS All Access so click on the link below and sign up for those feeds.

CBS All Access makes a wonderful Father's Day Gift!

Big Brother Gossip Show!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 26 Jan 2019 15:20:00 +0000

Due to Celebrity Big Brother's super quick schedule and multiple shows a week, the Big Brother Gossip Show has a weird schedule as well. Sometimes we'll be on Saturday and sometimes Sunday. Just so no one gets confused, make sure you've subscribed to us on iTunes or Stitcher and if you like to listen live, make sure you're following me on Twitter for live show updates and links.

As far as this week goes, we will be live tonight at 9pm ET.

To show your support for the Big Brother Gossip Show and all the work we do, be sure to become a Patron. We don't like to get something for nothing, so we'll give you even more podcasts to listen to! You can get Day Drinking, the Bravo Bonus Show, and my Day Drinking Newsletter which is your own personal TV Guide to what's new in TV on Cable, Streaming, Premium Channels, etc. Never miss a TV premiere again! Sign up to be a Patron HERE.

Do you still need the Live Feeds? What are you waiting for? This is your personal invitation. Click below to watch the drama.

Twitter.

Celebrity Big Brother 2!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 14 Jan 2019 13:04:00 +0000

The cast has been revealed, premiere date is set, Big Brother Gossip Show is coming back, and all is right with 2019.

Stay tuned for more important CBB2 dates to know and the announcement of the return of the Big Brother Gossip Show. We're coordinating as we speak and narrowing in on a start date.

In the meantime, go get your feeds bitches! It's already a short season so you save zero dollars waiting to the last minute. No procrastinating in 2019. Get your sh*t done!

IMPORTANT BIG BROTHER 20 DATES TO KNOW

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 18 Jun 2018 09:31:00 +0000

Important Big Brother 20 Dates To Know!

TODAY June 18 - BB20 Cast revealed live on CBS All Access 11am ET/8am PT

6.23 -- Big Brother Gossip Show Pre-Season Episode 9pm ET or any time on iTunes

6.27 – Two-hour premiere @ 8/7c on CBS

6.28 – Two-night premiere continues @ 9/8c on CBS

6.28 – Live Feeds open after the 9PM PT episode ends

6.29 -- Big Brother After Dark on POP @1am EST

6.30 -- Big Brother Gossip Show! at 9pm ET or any time on iTunes

7.1 – Sunday’s episode @ 8/7c on CBS

Remember, the only way to see the Cast Reveal is on CBS ALL ACCESS. Sign up today by clicking any of the banners in this post for a free trial!

Plus, stay tuned because there is one more secret surprise, several weeks in the making, that I can't wait to tell you about!

Celebrity Big Brother Dates To Know

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 17:01:00 +0000

Do you feel it? The tingling in your loins, the pitter patter in your chest. You guys, it's the first ever CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER!!! I don't know about you, but I am beyond thrilled. The cast has been revealed, the Roku is ready and the Big Brother Gossip Show is preparing for our pre-season episode. To get you ready for this momentous occasion, here are some important dates you need to know:

Premiere Week Schedule

Monday Feb 5 9pm - Big Brother Gossip Show Pre-Season Episode

Wednesday Feb 7 8pm - Premiere Episode Celebrity Big Brother on CBS

Thursday Feb 8 12am - Live Feeds Open

Thursday Feb 8 8pm - Celebrity Big Brother on CBS

Friday Feb 9 8pm - Celebrity Big Brother on CBS

As you can see, we'll be getting four episodes a week. It's a short season, but who cares? It's a celebrity edition! It's a bonus season! This is all good news. I, for one, can't wait.

Don't miss one second of the action!

CODY FOR AMERICA'S FAVORITE PLAYER

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 14 Sep 2017 12:43:00 +0000

The Big Brother Gossip Show is officially endorsing CODY FOR AMERICA'S PLAYER. I don't know about you, but I can't in good conscience vote for any of the other yahoos who consented to let Paul take over the season. My vote is going to the only person who dared to try to get him out.

We need your votes. We need to make our voices heard. We can do this!

VOTE FOR CODY HERE

Live Feeds Start TONIGHT!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 29 Jun 2017 10:56:00 +0000

Today is the day kids. No more putting it off. No more lollygagging. The wait is officially over and the Live Feeds are here. After tonight's West Coast broadcast, both the Live Feeds and Big Brother After Dark on Pop will kick off at 1am ET.

I don't know about you, but after last night's explosive 2 hour premiere I'm dying to know how the house is splitting up into alliances and how all of those potential romantic entanglements are unfolding. There were surprisingly a lot more opportunities for love matches than I had anticipated. I'm eager to see how they're all shaping up.

If you haven't already, you need to click on the link below and sign up for CBS All Access. It is the only way to see the Live Feeds. While I'm not happy about Paul (I'll have a lot more to say about this on the Big Brother Gossip Show this Saturday), I do like this cast quite a bit. People I thought would be shrinking violets are stepping up and people I thought would come out of the gate with all guns blazing are getting confused with wallpaper. I'm spying some early favorites and loathing a handful of others - both are signs of a good season.

Also, do not forget to vote for the Den Of Temptation. With Paul already leading in the polls, we need to band together in order to prevent another Elissa Advantage a la BB15. My research is telling me that Christmas is our best chance to prevent Paul from getting yet another advantage. Put aside your personal feelings and vote for the greater good: VOTE CHRISTMAS.

Go sign up! Go vote! And while you're at it, get yourself some Day Drinking Rewards. The Big Brother Gossip Show BONUS SHOW records today. We've got Day Drinking as well as the Bravo Bonus Show. Head to our Big Brother Gossip Patreon Page and check out all of the cool rewards you can sign up for. See you there!

Important BB19 Dates

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 20 Jun 2017 10:50:00 +0000

With BB19 right around the corner, here are some important Big Brother dates you need to know.

Premiere Week Schedule

6/19 -- Cast Reveal
6/21 -- House Reveal

6/24 -- Big Brother Gossip Show Premiere Episode @ 9pm

6/28 – Two-hour Big Brother premiere @ 8/7c on CBS

6/29 -- Day Drinking With Scott & Colette returns

6/29 – Thursday’s Big Brother episode @ 9/8c on CBS

6/29 – Live Feeds open after the 9PM PT episode ends

6/30 -- Big Brother After Dark Premiere @ 1am on Pop

7/2 – Sunday’s Big Brother episode @ 8/7c on CBS

Make sure you're all signed up and ready to go on CBS All Access. I would advise watching all of the cast interviews before this Saturday's Big Brother Gossip Show Premiere where we will be ~~crucifying~~ analyzing each of the new Houseguests.

Watch The BB19 Live Feeds In Style

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 19 Jun 2017 21:31:00 +0000

For years I've been promoting the Roku as the THE way to watch the Big Brother Live Feeds in style and comfort. No more hunching over a small computer screen. No more crap sound quality. No more watching your Big Brother Live Feeds like a caveman.

The Roku allows you to watch Big Brother 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week on a glorious big screen. I have personally used a Roku for years before CBS All Access even existed. I use it for Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, Vudu, Fandango, fitness channels, movie channels, and my new favorite Acorn TV. As a fan of British and Australian television, Acorn TV is a gift from the gods. I can watch any number of UK comedies, dramas, wonderful detective series, classic British miniseries, films, documentaries, and even reality shows all at the push of a button and all on my Roku. I've only named a handful of my favorite Roku channels, but there are literally thousands of channels to choose from. THOUSANDS.

The good news is that the fancy schmancy Roku 4 is on sale! If you still can't splurge for the more expensive Roku 4 box, go ahead and get the Roku Streaming Stick. I personally own one of each. I keep the box in my living room and I use the stick in my bedroom or take it with me if I travel. As someone who travels quite a bit, the Roku Stick is a miracle. I am never without my favorite TV/Movies. With streaming TV revolutionizing how we are entertained, I think the Roku, like water and air, is something you cannot live without. It also makes the perfect gift. What dad wouldn't love getting a Roku for Father's Day?

Click here to take advantage of the $40 off the Roku 4

Click here to get the convenient Roku Streaming Stick for only $39

And click below to get your Big Brother Live Feeds!

BB19 Cast Reveal!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 12 Jun 2017 19:45:00 +0000

Big Brother 19 Cast Reveal is slated for Monday June 19th at 11am ET. Click below to get 1-week free trial to CBS All Access.

My New Podcast!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 29 Jan 2017 22:38:00 +0000

Hey bitches, I've got a new podcast called Day Drinking! Once a week, I drink with Scott of the Big Brother Gossip Show and talk about everything that's hot in movies and TV. The must-sees, premieres you may not know are happening, the best in streaming, and even a couple TCM picks thrown in. For you Bravo reality junkies, we've got you covered on our Bonus Show. Scott and I will dish on everything those crazy Housewives and obnoxious Vanderpump brats are up to. So pour yourself a glass and come join us!

To listen, head to the DAY DRINKING page and sign up!

What To Expect Every Week on Big Brother Over The Top

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 14:17:00 +0000

I know everyone has a lot of questions regarding the upcoming Big Brother Over The Top fall season so here I am to answer just a few to the best of my ability:

Hey Colette, will the 24/7 feeds really be 24/7?

According to CBS All Access, it will be the same feeds you know and love, only with NO SCHEDULED BLACKOUTS. You'll still have 4 cameras plus a Quad view. There will also be rewind and highlight capabilities as well as the opportunity to Flashback to your favorite moments with searchable archives.

Hey Colette, what if I missed a bunch of stuff and want to catch up?

The easiest and most logical answer is that this is what the Big Brother Gossip Show is for, you silly goose! We recap all the events - with clips - so you are never lost. Premiere episode October 1st! After that, find us on iTunes and Stitcher.

There will also be, what they are calling, a "Weekday Replay." This will be a quick recap of all the crucial moments that happened throughout the day. The Weekday Replay will be available Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays at 10:00 PM ET/7:00 PM PT.

Hey Colette, so are there episodes are not?

A rundown of the week's events, followed by the Live Eviction Ceremony will air on Wednesdays at 10:00 PM ET/7:00 PM PT. Shortly after the episode airs, it will be available in its entirety on demand.

Hey Colette, will I ever see Chenbot again?

Yes! Every Thursday afternoon, Julie Chen will interview that week's evicted houseguest (times will vary).

Hey Colette, what in the sam hell is a "Safety Ceremony?"

Live on Saturdays and Sundays at 10:00 PM ET/7:00 PM PT, the HOH will reveal the houseguests who are SAFE for that week. The live reveal of the nominations will be on Sunday evenings.

Hey Colette, I remember you saying on an episode of the Big Brother Gossip Show that if you could change one thing about Big Brother it would be that we would get live access to Diary Room sessions. As you are wise and all knowing, by chance, did they listen to you?

YES! Yes they did! Can you believe it? For the first time ever (you're welcome), fans will get a live look into the confessionals on Tuesdays and Fridays at 11:00 PM ET/8:00 PM PT.

Well, I hope this helps a bit. I know it's confusing and new and weird and we're all like, "What the hell is about to happen here?" I think the first week might take some getting used to, but after that we'll all fall into our groove. I hope you're ready with that CBS ALL ACCESS subscription. BBOTT premieres September 28th! Click below and get those subscriptions NOW.

Important BBOTT Dates You Need To Know

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 23 Sep 2016 14:50:00 +0000

With Big Brother Over The Top around the corner and speculation running rampant regarding exactly what the hell is going to happen this fall. Here are some important dates I can let you in on:

Monday September 26: BBOTT Cast Announced with photos and videos

Tuesday September 27: Voting for Jozea v. Jason closes at 11:29am PT

Wednesday September 28: BBOTT premieres at 10pm ET/7pm PT

Thursday September 29: First HOH Comp at 4pm ET/1pm PT

Saturday October 1: THE RETURN OF THE BIG BROTHER GOSSIP SHOW!

Wednesday October 5: First On-Demand Episode + Live Eviction

Wednesday October 5: THE RETURN OF DAY DRINKING W/ SCOTT & COLETTE!

I've got a lot more info to come so stay tuned and be sure to sign up for those BBOTT Live Feeds now! Get yourself 1 Week Free!

Get ONE WEEK FREE for BBOTT!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 22 Sep 2016 15:22:00 +0000

ONE MONTH FREE FOR OTT!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 14 Sep 2016 13:55:00 +0000

Big Brother Gossip Show Episode #5!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 19 Jul 2016 11:56:00 +0000

Be sure not to miss our last episode of the Big Brother Gossip Show. The Live Feeds are FINALLY heating up and we had a lot to discuss. Don't miss out! Listen now, for free, on iTunes.

And be sure to catch Day Drinking With Scott & Colette. It's our new show where we discuss the Real Housewives, Below Deck, etc. Right now the show is only available to qualified Patrons. It's super secret and special. Be one of the cool kids and join the fun! To become a Patron and get access to all sorts of goodies, check out our Patreon page and sign up!

And if you still need the Live Feeds, click the link below.

Big Brother Gossip Episode 2!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 12:19:00 +0000

We are officially in the house and we've got a LOT to discuss. Hear about all of the first week drama on Big Brother Gossip Show Episode 2 - 'We Run This Shit!' You can listen to Scott, Mike, and Myself discuss everything from the Network Broadcast, that 4th Of July Jozea drama, the budding and now defunct showmances, and that epic first fight from Saturday afternoon. We've got clips and plenty of witty banter for you to enjoy. We also did our first Big Brother Gossip Mailbag! Qualified Patrons were able to submit questions for us to answer and I had so much fun doing it! Keep the questions coming. You can ask us anything you want. Last night Scott and I picked our favorite Real Housewife and all three of us tackled the topic of whether or not we'd ever quit Big Brother. I learned a lot about my cohosts last night.

You can check out the show on iTunes or Stitcher. If you want to hear the Bonus Show Podcast that Scott and I did last week where we dove into new territory and broke down Southern Charm and the Real Housewives Of Orange County, make sure you're a Patron. We lowered the price drastically because we want as many people as possible to hear the Bonus Shows. Enjoy and thanks for listening!

Do you still need your Live Feeds? The house is heating up and drama is the order of the day. Don't miss out. Plus, you get one week free! You literally have nothing to lose.

This is me. In all my beauty.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 24 Jun 2016 14:59:00 +0000

Much like the United Kingdom wanting and gaining their independence from the European Union, the United States of America once sought their independence from the United Kingdom. "We don't want you anymore," the Thirteen Colonies declared. "We can do this all on our own so you take your stinky monarchs and leave us be!" The sentiment is a familiar one. It is one I have been feeling myself for the last 7 days. I don't want you Returning Houseguests! I don't need you dictating this game to me. You've had your chance. Now bugger off and leave me alone. Let's recap, shall we?

First things first, Sleeping Beauty here went to bed around 11pm and woke up around 6am so I have very little to go on. This recap will be bare bones, but once I catch up and get the gist of what's going on in the house, Saturday's Big Brother Gossip Show will be WAY more detail oriented. Also... I cannot blog everyday. I will not blog everyday. Blogging is what I suspect caused my herniated disk in my lower back so, you know, do the math. When did I cut down on the blogging significantly? When my back got all screwed up! It is literally painful for me to sit and write. Sitting for long periods of time messes up my back for the entire day and since I'm a really slow writer and a super active fitness nut, it's pretty awful for me. I've kept that to myself for the past few years, but you guys need to know what the deal is and that's the deal. Thank goddess for the Podcast because I can keep everyone updated on the house hijinks and I don't have to be wincing in pain hunching over a laptop while I do it. I will try to blog as much as I can, but I don't want to hear the bitching if it's not on the regular.

Big Brother 18 opens with a hiss. A snarl if you will. Da'vonne sits in the Living Room holding court with Jozea and Zakiyah. She has a constant side eye. A permanent scowl. I don't know what happened to this chick between last season and this one, but she's pretty miserable. She's a jerk on the CBS show and there is nothing pleasant at all watching her act like she has some big score to settle. Day, a little wake up call, you went home SECOND last season. You didn't even come close to winning. So calm down with the bad attitude and stop acting like you're Inigo Montoya. Nobody killed your father. Slow your roll.

As we were saying, Day, who has turned into a total jerk, is complaining about how live feeders harassed her for leaving her child last season to go into the Big Brother house. Apparently, they would send her tweets calling her a horrible mother. You guys, don't do that! Who the hell do you think you are? It is not for you to judge whether or not someone is a good mother. We can dissect Day for everything she does in the house, but harassing her online makes you a horrible person. The scene in the Living Room ends with Day announcing, “I’m so glad I got that out before these damn feeds turned on!” Uh yeah, so the HG's literally have no idea that they've been live for about 30 minutes. They know the feeds will turn on at any moment, but they don't know when. They are under the assumption that an announcement will be made.

In the Kitchen, the mood is merry with some of the HG's making peanut butter cookies while Bridgette is inexplicably dressed in a nude bikini with pieces of cardboard stuck to her “parts.” Watching her scrub a counter in this costume is a little bit like that Seinfeld episode where the naked girl tried to open the pickle jar. Everyone is chatting and getting along. It's a little disturbing. In one of the Bedrooms we see Stinky Frank and he too is in some weird loin cloth/cardboard get up. We'll later see Skeletons (Michelle) and Cody (Paulie) in the same outfits so I guess this is what the Mystery-land or -ville or -hamlet or whatever from the Rocket Competition turned out to be. Unfortunately for us, we now have to watch a bunch of pasty freaks walking around with no clothes on. Lovely.

As it turns out, the Have-Nots are finally able to eat tonight which explains all the cooking and happiness going on in the Kitchen. Paul is positively starving and Jozea can't wait to get his hands on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Remember, he's a vegan.

Then things get interesting. In the bedroom where Stinky Frank is lying in bed we see Cody and Zakiyah sitting in the corner stroking each other’s arms! Could it be? Is this our first showmance? These are so not the people I imagined. I thought perhaps Victor, or Natalie, or Corey, but no! It's Cody and Zakiyah. As a Zakiyah fan, I'm not too thrilled about this development because of the whole, "Cody is a total pussy and really boring" thing. Let's definitely keep our eyes on this and pray that Zak - that's easier to type than Zakiyah -makes a clean getaway.

With his hand stroking and teasing Zakiyah's hand, Cody wonders if they are allowed to talk about what happened in the week they've been in the house. Day smacks her lips and clicks her tongue all proud of herself, "I got all my stories out before the feeds turned on because I ain't gonna talk about some stuff no more." Well aren't you a charming daffodil. Please, let us all bask in the glow of your radiant sunshine.

A little later we find Skeletons lying in bed with James. Zak, Day and Tiffany are in the room as well. Skeletons says that she thinks the feeds are already on. Day is pissed, “Why didn’t they tell us?!” James isn’t so sure they're on. He says the cameras usually go crazy if the feeds are on. Skeletons, then, out of nowhere, says that Jozea is lucky his 4th Of July comment wasn’t aired. Apparently some people were talking about the 4th of July and James said, “A lot of Americans died for our freedom.” Jozea then said, “No one asked them to!" *giggles and snorts* Oh Jozea. You blessing in tiny pants. That's the spirit! You just do you buddy. Let it all hang out. Offend EVERYONE. You will get no judgment from me, pumpkin. In the midst of all this, we can still here Day bitching and moaning about how she hopes the feeds aren't on yet.

Let's get away from the misery of Day and move on to something more joyful. You guys are going to like this. It turns out that Zak and Tiffany do amazing Bronte impressions! Zak is especially good and it definitely needs to be seen. From what I can gather Bronte, Natalie, and Bridgette have a girl's alliance. Doesn't that sound just awful? Those three together. Thinking. And talking. It's horrifying! While most of the house knows they are a trio, it is up for debate as to which one is the leader: Bronte or Natalie. I have a feeling they both think they are each the leader.

This brings us to the big news of the night. There is a meeting planned for 2am amongst most of the new HG's. It sounds like it is all Jozea's doing. However, one sad pony isn't happy about it at all. Nicole sits in the Safari Room crying - CRYING - because she wasn't invited to the meeting. She says about Jozea, "What did I ever do to him?" Umm seriously? Bitch, you put him on the block! You put him up for eviction! What did you ever do to him? You did the worst thing someone can do to another Big Brother Houseguest! Is she for real? Anyhow, all of this is for naught because Jozea got tired and went to bed instead of having his meeting.

But let's backtrack a bit and stay on Jozea. Once again the discussion turns to what he said about the 4th of July. Why this is even a thing is beyond me, but this is Big Brother so of course it's a huge drama. Day's response to it is that any career Jozea hoped to have after his Big Brother life is gone now. Bitch please. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. He's a make-up artist. He'll be just fine. To summarize what's going on, Jozea's problem with the 4th of July - which is actually totally inaccurate - is because the Americans stole their land from the Indians. I know. I know. There are so many things wrong with that statement. First off, the 4th of July celebrates the Thirteen Colonies rejecting British rule, gaining their independence, and forming the United States. We gained our Independence from Britain, not the "Indians." This brings us to my second point. Indians are from India. Native Americans are the ones we stole from in a totally different way that has nothing to do with the 4th of July.

Day has a huge problem with this basically because it came from Jozea and she can't stand him. Paul has a problem with it because he says it's like stomping on the flag and he hates people who stomp on the flag. He says if Jozea was in North Korea or Russia, he'd have a bullet in his head. Skeletons has a problem with it because it's historically inaccurate. Plus, I think she's being sneaky by even bringing it up in the first place in order to start drama. James has a problem with it because "'Mericans fought for this here country." He mentioned to Jozea how there are Americans in Afghanistan right now fighting for us. To that, Jozea said something along the lines of, "So what?!" Look, if I was in the house I'd probably hate Jozea too - not for his silly ignorance - but because he is definitely acting like he's better than everyone. But as a viewer... I love him! He promised he'd make this a crazy season and so far he's got a good start. The problem is that he might not make it past this first week, but he's WAY too arrogant to recognize that that is even a possibility. He won't be in there long, but I do hope he sticks around for a couple weeks at least. The big question now, of course, is whether or not CBS will air it on the network show. We'll have to wait and see.

Sticking with Jozea some more, at one point we find Jozea and Corey sitting on the Living Room sofa. Jozea is joking around about being fucked by a giant or something. I honestly have no idea what he was saying, but here's the best part. Corey is sitting across from Jozea gazing at him with loving eyes. He acts along with whatever pantomime Jozea is playing at. Corey then says, to no one in particular, "He's talking dirty!" And then he bursts into a fit of giggles. Why is this important? Well, a couple minutes later, to Corey's complete horror, the HG's have the distinct feeling that the Live Feeds have been on for some time. The color immediately drains from Corey's face. His heart begins to pound and he starts to feel faint. Why, you ask? Corey says, "Mom, Dad, I'm not gay I swear!" Corey is petrified that now we all think he's gay because he was sitting and joking with Jozea. Corey, that's not why we think you're gay. We think you're gay - not that there's anything wrong with that - because you got all lovey dovey on the network show talking about Cody. All the other guys were focused on the girls and you had hearts in your eyes for Cody. Plus, there's that rumor going around that you like to use a homophobic slur which is always my first hint that someone is a closet homosexual and hates themselves for it - like the Orlando shooter guy!

Now that the HG's know the Live Feeds are on, they are all acting ridiculous. Everyone is giving shout out's, they're jumping about like monkeys, and Jozea is giving a speech about how we all need to watch him because he's the best. He literally starts staring a camera down and begins to do model poses. He looks away. Looks back! Looks down. Looks up! He's making sure the camera is on him and then... pose! He's crouching like a tiger and leaping like a dragon. And then we have Victor in the Kitchen. He says to one of the cameras, "This is me. In all my beauty."

And there you have it. I definitely have some catching up to do because I think there are some more alliances I haven't yet been made aware of. It's all good though because I'll be watching the Live Feeds today on my Roku (If you still need one, click on the Amazon links on the right hand side of this page. It is the best, most luxurious way to watch the Live Feeds.). I actually just bought myself a 2nd Roku for my bedroom.

And if you still haven't gotten the Live Feeds, this is your personal engraved invitation. Go sign up! You get a week free!