BJ and Tianna

Abigail's birth story; part 2

2012-02-07T22:52:00.001-07:00

Disclaimer: Both this post and part 1 are long. I'm a detail-oriented person. Get over it. In good news, this one has pictures!
Disclaimer the second: This is the actual labor story. It includes pictures and details that some may feel includes TMI (but nothing explicit, don't worry). If you're squeamish or uncomfortable about things like that, I suggest you skip this post.
tl;dr: For those of you who don't like long things like this, I plan on writing an abridged version, hopefully in the next day or two, leaving out most of the detail and just doing the basics.

Induction

Wednesday, January 25, I went in for a routine check up. I was a day shy of 39 weeks. (Or for you non-birth term people, I was a week and one day before my due date.) Heather checked me and I was 100% effaced, dilated to a 6 and Abby was at a +1. I asked Heather, "What does it mean that she's at a +1?" Heather replied, "It means your baby is about to fall out." Oh good. But she also pointed out that I could go into labor that night, or not for 2 weeks. Being that close didn't necessarily mean I was ready to go. But she did tell me that she likes to offer to any woman that close a natural induction. If my body wasn't ready, nothing would happen. If my body was ready, then it'd help start natural labor. She said normally they start at 5 or 6 pm and are holding a baby by midnight. I told her I'd talk to BJ and let her know.

On the way home I called Jalin to see which she'd prefer, since she'd be the one driving 10 hours. Do I get induced that night or Thursday night and give her a chance to actually drive down beforehand so she could actually be there for labor? But with the risk that it might not take and she'd be down here for a week and never see baby because she'd have to get back because Brett was going out of town. Or would she rather I don't get induced and just hope I didn't go into labor until Brett got home (my due date) so she could come down then and get a full week in, but risk not getting here until Abby was a week old. She called Brett to see what he thought and he said, "Go get ready! Leave today!" So then I called BJ and asked his opinion. We talked about the various options and decided that since I felt so strongly about needing support, it would be better to have Jalin there. So we decided to schedule for Thursday evening. I called up Heather and set it up for 6 pm.

I got home and immediately started calling people. I did feel a little guilty calling other people before my mom, but I decided I should let people know who were actually doing stuff for the birth first. Thanks Mom for still loving me despite hearing the news through the grapevine! :D Jalin was called so she could pack and drive the 10ish hours to get here. Mom Homer was called to make sure she could still take Kessa. Jessa was chatted at to see if she was available to take pictures. Carrie was called to let her know that her doula-ing would be required (and in good news, she had time to prepare!) And then I called my mom. :)

I ran a few errands to get last-minute things I hadn't yet purchased (like an electrolyte energy drink) then came home and started cleaning. Things weren't too bad, but I really wanted them to look nice for all those people being here. Though, I did end up spending a lot of time just laying down and resting.

Thursday BJ went to work and Kessa and I cleaned up a bit more and played and rested. Jalin got here, I think, around 11 am. We did a few more things, but were mostly just lazy and let the girls play. (Jalin brought her two youngest kids, Tamra and Aimee.) Eventually Jalin took her kids to her sister-in-law's house (thanks again, Melanie!) to spend the night and I made a simple stir fry dinner. BJ stopped by Riverton on his way home to help his dad bring down a bed for our guest room (we procrastinated that one till the last minute, didn't we?). Carrie showed up a little before 6, but no one else did. 6:20 rolls around and we're still the only ones there. Finally BJ, his dad, mom and Teresa showed up with the bed, a dresser and a fun chair for our loft. They got the bed set up while I did a couple of last minute things with Carrie (like setting up the liners under the birth pool and mattress) and then they took off back home with Kessa in tow. Somewhere in there Jessa showed up (poor girl got lost) and eventually Jalin showed up, too. Around 6:30 or so when Heather still wasn't there, I decided to call and make sure we had, in fact, scheduled it. Because it isn't like Heather to be late. I woke her up from a nap and turns out there had been a miscommunication and she had thought we had tentatively set it up, but that I was going to call back and confirm first. Oops. So she headed out right then.

Heather got here as well as Eva and Lisa, two midwives-in-training and they started to set their things up. Lisa gave me some homeopathic pills to put under my tongue to help get contractions going. About 7:30, before they started everything, I figured going to the bathroom would be a good idea. So I did. When I was done, I leaned back on the toilet and suddenly showered the toilet room with water. I was quite surprised for a few reasons. 1) That had never, ever happened to me before. What the heck just happened? 2) I was sure I was done going to the bathroom, so certainly that couldn't have been pee. Which means 3) did my water just break?! That's insane because a) what amazing timing is that?! and b) neither my mom nor my sister had ever had their water break spontaneously. They always had to have it artificially ruptured while in labor. As Jalin puts it, "We have leather bags." (one of my remaining fears was that partway through labor I was going to have to make the decision of artificially breaking my water. And that was just too close to the situation at Kessa's birth. I feared it'd bring back those same fears, which I did not want at this labor.) So I had not at all expected to have my water break on its own. And right before being induced, too? So wait, I'm going to labor on my own, but at the most ideal time when everyone that's going to be there is already there? I get to do the entire labor with my support team?! Sweet.

Laying on the bed, just before induction.

So I went out to find everyone else and said, "So, I'm not 100% sure, but I'm at least 90% sure that my water just broke." Everyone looked at me in surprise. So I explained what happened and they all laughed at the awesome timing. I was still feeling great, hadn't felt a contraction yet, and I felt remarkably lucky and amazed by the whole thing. Heather had me get on the bed to check me and said I was dilated to an 8 on one side and a 9 on the other. (I didn't realize that you could be dilated to different amounts.) She decided to carry on with the induction anyway, but a shorter form of it, just to help labor progress more quickly. I laid down on my bed while Heather put some capsules of evening primrose in my cervix to help it soften faster then taught Carrie how to massage my belly. I laid on my side while she rubbed clary sage and fennel essential oils into my belly. (While Heather was doing it and showing Carrie, Carrie was massaging my feet, too.) It was interesting because with the amniotic fluid level down, my belly was much more defined. It almost peaked from Abby's spine.

Labor

See how funny my belly is shaped?
Turns out amniotic fluid makes things
nice and round.

At one point while Heather was doing the massage (or maybe back when she was checking me?) we were talking about how progressed I was and how I was still so happy and laughing and just so myself. Well, I wasn't feeling any contractions! Why shouldn't I be happy and laughing? Remember how excited I was for this? Then Heather asked, "Did you just feel that contraction?" [blink] "That was a contraction? I just thought it was the baby moving." "Well, she moved, too, but it was during a contraction." Huh. Who knew? I really wasn't feeling anything other than baby moving around. I was definitely ok with this. I think Jalin was jealous, though, because by the time she was that far along there was no more laughing and joking. (Sorry, Jalin!) By this point we started speculating on if there was any truth to Damian's claims as kids that I was adopted. Or Dad's claims that I was found under a rock. Because so far, my labor was nothing like anything mom or Jalin ever experienced.

Leaning on Carrie during my first real contraction
(that I could feel, anyway)

At 8:10 (thanks Jalin for keeping track of times!) they told me to go on a walk. Prior to my water breaking, the plan was to go outside for an hour walk. Of course it was raining hard, so we had planned on going down to the church to walk (I knew it was open because there was a RS activity there that night). So I put on my chacos and started getting ready to go outside. At that point Carrie stepped in and suggested that maybe we just walk around downstairs in the kitchen. I was good with not going out into the rain, so I agreed. And thank heavens for her because by the time we made it down the stairs, I was definitely feeling the contractions. She had me lean against her so that I could relax while breathing through the contractions. At that point I was suddenly grateful for all of my practice breathing. I was able to logically think about balloon breathing and lifting my uterus with my breath in order to make the contraction faster and more efficient. And by focusing on my breath instead of on the contraction, it was pretty easy to get through.

Leaning on BJ while Carrie provided physical relief.

Once it passed we started walking, and we didn't get far at all before I was then leaning on BJ while Carrie started doing a hip press. I didn't like that; it just didn't feel right. So I told her and she stopped. I liked leaning against BJ better for three reasons: 1) he's taller than Carrie, so I could just rest my head on his shoulder instead of leaning down onto Carrie's and 2) I know BJ a lot better, so it felt much more comfortable leaning against him for comfort and 3) it left Carrie open to give me the physical support I needed. The contraction stopped and we walked a little more. At the top of the stairs we stopped again. And again before we even made it to the bedroom. We didn't time the contractions, but it was very clear that they were coming quickly without much time in between.

On the birthing ball so I could relax my legs.

I had told Carrie downstairs that it was too hard to stand up. I felt like I needed to relax my legs, but I couldn't because I was standing on them. So as soon as we got up to the bedroom, I sat on the birthing ball* with BJ in front of me to lean on. Then Carrie sat behind me on the birthing stool and massaged my back. I'll probably say this twenty times, but holy cow, I loved the massage all through labor. It was just so wonderful and relaxing. BJ was also fantastic. He spent all of his time just focused on me and telling me how amazing I was, how excited he was for Abby to be here and how proud of me he was for all the work I was doing to get her here. He reminded me to relax and just spoke words of comfort and peace. He whispered how much he loved me. He held my hand and stroked my face. And periodically he would say things that would just make me laugh or smile. I remember very clearly being in the middle of a contraction and smiling at him and thinking, "This is insane. I'm genuinely smiling in the middle of a contraction!"

See? A smile during a contraction!

Around 8:30 I started feeling like I needed to poop, which I learned with Kessa was a cue that my body was getting ready to push. So I told them that I was starting to feel, just a little bit, an urge to push. But I kept thinking about parts of my HypnoBirthing book that talked about pushing and how it's counter-productive. How "purple pushing" was a bi-product of drugging moms and using forceps and vacuums to pull out babies. And when they stopped using them, they just figured that the baby needed help coming out still, so moms were encouraged to push till their face turned purple. But really, when you push like that, your sphincter muscles tighten up, and actually make it harder for the baby to come out and increase your chances of tearing. And as a counter-argument to the idea that babies need help coming out, they cited instances of moms in comas that birth babies without anyone even knowing they're in labor. I just kept thinking about how my body could push out that baby without me actually having to push. So I kept reminding myself to keep my sphincters loose (which you can do by keeping your throat and jaw open and loose and relaxing your body) and let my body tell me what to do instead of letting culture tell me what to do.

BJ holding my hand in the tub.

After a few minutes on the birthing ball, I started watching the tub. They started filling it up with water back when Carrie was massaging my belly, but it was big and took awhile to fill. With every contraction I thought more and more longingly of sitting in the water. I watched it every time my eyes were open. (As a side note, I found that whenever a contraction came, I would close my eyes and focus on breathing through it. Sometimes it was hard to consciously recognize when it was over. But I quickly learned that my eyes would slowly open when it was done. I think that was a cue for everyone else, too. When my eyes were open, they could talk to me, but when my eyes closed, it was like the whole room just stopped. Later in labor I just kept my eyes closed for most of it, though they'd still flicker open momentarily when the contraction was over and sporadically between contractions.) Finally I asked if the tub was full enough and they said it was, so I hopped on in at 8:40. (Ok, not really. I slowly walked over with the help of BJ and Carrie and slowly lowered myself in.)

Everyone just there, supporting me through a contraction.

I knelt in the water and leaned against the side of the tub with my arms, putting my head on the side of the pool and holding BJ's hands. I stayed that way for almost 2 hours. Later Carrie told me that she couldn't believe I stayed in the same position the entire time. But it was the only one that made sense to me! It's funny how your body tells you where you should be while in labor. I remember someone suggesting that I could sit down in the tub and rest my back against the wall and I remember thinking, "Are you crazy? That just doesn't even sound comfortable. At all. Don't you realize I'd be sitting on my baby's head?" I didn't say anything, though. I just ignored the suggestion. And yes, kneeling in one position for 2 hours does make your legs fall asleep, in case anyone is curious. Oh sure, I moved from kneeling down to kneeling up periodically, but my knees were still bent. I find it entertaining that kneeling was the most comfortable, since kneeling outside of water (say, at the temple) makes me black out. Apparently water must help blood circulation, though, because I never felt light-headed. But after awhile I realized my legs were asleep. It's a really weird feeling, btw, having your legs fall asleep underwater. The tingling is there but it's… muted. It didn't hurt, nor was it really uncomfortable. But it was definitely asleep. I can't really explain it. If you really want to understand, go kneel in your bathtub for an hour or two. :) So periodically I'd stretch out my legs behind me, one at a time, between contractions.

This video is very dark, but that's because the lights were out.
The pictures all look light, but that's only thanks to flash.
The noise at the beginning are Abby's heart tones.
Then you get to hear me vocalizing through contractions.

It wasn't long in the tub before I realized that simple breathing wasn't going to get me through anymore. The contractions were getting tighter, longer, stronger and more intense. So once again I went back to what I'd read in my book and latched onto the idea of vocalized breathing. Basically, when I breathed out, I added my vocal cords to my breath. Kind of like a moan, I guess. Using your vocal cords also helps keep your sphincters open and relaxed, so it helps speed up labor. Amazingly, I could feel some of the tension drain out of me every time I breathed. The contractions were physically easier to deal with every time I vocalized. It was amazing. It was apparently obvious to everyone else, too when my breathing became more and more vocalized. Jalin noted on the blog at 8:57 that I was getting more labored in my breathing. I remember when they really started to get hard and my vocalizing was at its loudest that Carrie told me that these are the contractions that really count.

In which we take a short break to talk about my support team

BJ kissing me, or maybe whispering
encouragement.

In fact, let's take a moment to talk about my support team. Holy cow, they were amazing. First there was BJ, right there in front of me the whole time. There for me to rest my head against, to hold my hand, and to remind me to relax. There to make me smile. Once during a contraction he wasn't talking and I realized I just needed to hear his voice, so I asked him to say something. I think I caught him off guard with nothing to say. I expected him to start describing a field of wild flowers or maybe a waterfall or something, because he had been doing that and that's what he did during Kessa's labor. Instead he started singing Jingle Bells. Middle of a contraction and I busted up laughing. A small laugh, mind you, but definitely a laugh. I told him with a smile to stop and rolled my eyes. "But it made you smile!" "It made me think of Kessa." "Yes, but that made you smile!" Which is true, it did.

Getting massage through a contraction.

I often hear stories about women who in labor don't want their husbands doing anything. If the husband tries to talk or help, they get mad. I've heard of women yelling at their husbands during labor. I really and truly cannot fathom doing that. Probably in part because I never yell at BJ outside of labor, so why would I during labor? It's just not my personality. And in part because I need BJ. He is my pillar and strength always. So during one of the hardest events of my life, of course I need him there to support me. I can't even imagine labor without him right there with me. But I can empathize the tiniest bit. During Kessa's labor, I hadn't eaten for 22+ hours. I was starving. I was exhausted physically. More than anything, I craved a turkey and swiss sandwich. I asked for one probably every 20 minutes. So in prep for this birth, I bought turkey and swiss, just in case. I mean, if they were going to let me eat in labor, why not be prepared? But the biggest difference in this case was that I had eaten a real dinner at 6. I wasn't famished. I still had energy. So when BJ at one point asked if I wanted my turkey and swiss sandwich yet, the idea was so strange and foreign that I couldn't fathom why he was even asking such a ridiculous question. Not to mention that it was in the middle of a contraction, so I couldn't really tell him so. Instead I just swatted my hand at him and scrunched up my face in disgust while shaking my head quickly. Later Jalin told me that they had been wondering what BJ did to make me so mad. Haha. Seconds later I had totally forgotten it.

Carrie and Abigail

Next up? Carrie. Why did I ever even question hiring a doula? Goodness. Anyone out there considering hiring a doula, just do it. You won't regret it. (Unless you get a bad doula. But that's not my fault.) Heck, I'll even link you to her website just because I loved her that much. She was right there with me the entire time. Though, most of the time I couldn't see her because she was behind me giving me massage and pressure. But periodically she'd whisper words of encouragement and praise, reminding me she was right there with me. Here and there when I needed something, she'd be the first one to jump and run to get it. She kept cold wash cloths on my neck and back. She kept my water bottle filled (I think I emptied it 3 or 4 times during those 2.5 hours) and reminded me to stay hydrated. After labor she spent probably an hour massaging my legs, helping them relax during the after-pains. She consistently asked what I needed and how I was doing. She jumped on any little thing she could do to make things easier for me. She had music playing in the background and had people change it whenever a song came on that she didn't think was appropriate for the situation. It later got changed to one of BJ's pandora stations. For the most part, I think the music worked great and Carrie knew exactly when to skip a song. Though, I do remember her once changing Enya in the middle of a contraction, so I couldn't talk, but I wanted to say, "No! I like Enya! Keep her!" haha. I got over it, though. She also brought battery-operated candles that were scented vanilla to put on the window sill. (Oh, the lights were off for the majority, if not all, of labor.)

Heather and Abigail

Heather was quiet through most of it. I think. Honestly, I didn't keep track of who was where for most of it. I was rather self-focused. (And I don't feel bad at all about it!) I know she spent some time out in the loft and some time in with me. I remember seeing her sitting in a chair next to the tub, offering to check me if I wanted, but it was up to me. And I remember thinking, "Maybe I should let her check me, just so everyone knows where we're at" while at the same time thinking, "but when in the world would I have her do it? It's not very comfortable, y'know." At that point I was near the end. And contractions were coming very close together. I didn't get much of a break in between them and I could feel a tiny bit lingering between. So getting checked just didn't sound appealing. So I mostly just ignored the suggestion. Turns out, when I don't know how to answer someone's suggestions, I just ignore them. Sorry, everyone! It didn't surprise me that she wasn't super active in labor. I had quite the support team around me. There probably wasn't even room for Heather. Plus, she teaches a lot. She lets her students learn by experience. She does it all the time at appointments (with my permission—and I love it, because as she teaches them, I get to learn, too!) so it didn't surprise me when she did it during labor, too. I knew she was always near, watching for problems, and that was enough. I remember while I was pushing Abby out, Heather was right there making sure everything was going perfectly. She gave me suggestions. She reminded me to listen to my body. She made sure her assistants were documenting everything they needed to. Just her presence throughout and her active role at the end were very comforting to me.

Heather, Carrie, Abigail, Molly and Lisa.
Eva not pictured as she had to rush to another birth.

Her assistants were also amazing. Eva was the most active, as she's training to be a midwife. Then there was Lisa who was actively involved, but I rarely saw. Then there was Molly who kind of took the lead in a lot of things. Which makes sense, because she was at the majority of my prenatals. She came late. I knew she was coming, but was very self-absorbed when she came. I remember once opening my eyes between contractions and seeing her kneeling next to the tub. It surprised me, because I hadn't heard her come in at all. Honestly, I have no idea who did what, but I know they were all involved and wonderful. I remember at one point holding BJ's hand while one person massaged my shoulders, another massaged my lower back and another put pressure on my tailbone, because it was starting to ache. I remember thinking, "Man. This isn't so bad. I'm being totally spoiled here." I had probably 3+ hours of constant massage that night.

Then there was Jalin and Jessa. Neither of them were physically supporting me (like I said, there probably wasn't room around me). But Jalin sat where I could see her and kept my blog updated, which I had really, really wanted. I really appreciate looking back on all the live posts from Kessa's birth and wanted that again with Abby. She commented at the right times and stayed silent during the right times. (Except that once when her phone rang. Hah!) Jessa was in and out periodically, taking pictures and doing homework. I'm pretty sure that the further along it went, the more she stayed in the room, to be sure not to miss anything. And man, I'm glad she was there. She got some great pictures. Thanks, Jessa! (Jalin took some, too, when Jessa wasn't there.) With both of them I remember opening my eyes between contractions and making eye contact at various times. I remember their encouraging and excited smiles. I remember feeling a rush of peace and love every time I caught their eyes. It's amazing what a simple look can convey. (I'm also glad Jessa was there because she's scared of labor thanks to media and horror stories, and I wanted her to see that labor didn't have to be all about screaming and terror. I'm glad that everything went so smoothly so she could have a different perspective to draw upon when she's at that point in her life.)

Back to our regular scheduled programming… the last of labor

It started getting intense. Breathing was getting quite heavy. I stopped opening my eyes in between contractions for the most part. I started to lose a bit of faith and started dreading what was coming. I was ready to be done. (My guess? I was in transition.) I kept reminding myself that my body COULD do this. And it would. I even told myself I was probably in transition, which is the hardest part. I tried really hard not to vocalize any negative comments, because I wanted to focus on the positive. I wanted to stay relaxed and positive. I wanted to work WITH the contractions, not against them. So I started focusing more and more on the contractions. During a contraction, when it was starting to just get too hard, even with vocalizing, I would remind myself to relax my body. I can't tell you how many times I totally surprised myself when I would remind myself to relax only to realize that I was relaxed. Without even needing to consciously relax, when a contraction came, my body just automatically relaxed. Apparently listening to all those scripts and practicing relaxing really did work! My body was just trained to do it. Very few times did I have to consciously relax. But in a way, that was bad. Because I didn't have anything to focus on during the contraction. So instead I focused more and more on the breathing. Of lifting my uterus with deep breaths. Of vocalizing. Of counting how long my breaths were.

We did it!

BJ, at one point, kissed me (or I kissed him? I don't remember) and that sparked some conversation. The conclusion was that it's good to kiss doing labor. Kiss 'em in; kiss 'em out. :) But I discovered that when I just needed something else to focus on, kissing him was a perfect fill. (And now no one can claim that a doula takes the supportive role away from the husband.)

Jessa, at one point, asked me on a scale of 1-10, how much it hurt. I didn't want to answer for two reasons. 1) In HypnoBirthing, they tell you to never answer that question. Because as soon as you think of it as pain and label it, it becomes pain. 2) My brain was not in the mood to think about it and come up with some sort of logical answer to the question. It wasn't working in logic mode. It was working in "in the moment" mode. To switch gears seemed completely counter-intuitive. So I just kind of waved her off and said, "I'm not going to answer that." I think Jalin and Jessa interpreted that as, "Man, she must be at the top of the scale!" But that wasn't it at all. I simply just didn't have an answer for them. The birth assistants started trying to come up with the best word to describe contractions. "Pain isn't the right word," they explained. They tried out a few different words and finally concluded on "intense." They asked me if I agreed that it was the right word. Again, I wasn't in the right mindset to debate grammar and choice of words, so I just agreed with them. "This is intense." Because, well, it was. Honestly, though, I still don't know what the best word was. I'm still not sure that I'd say pain was the right word. And it was definitely intense. Pressure doesn't seem to be adequate. I'm not sure there is a word to describe it.

I was definitely ready to be done, though. I started expressing my wish to just be done. It was probably around 9ish or so that I started saying I wanted to be done. I remember Carrie telling me that I was doing great and that she was sure that I'd be done by midnight. I had no idea what time it was, but I knew that midnight was still hours away. And instead of being heartened by the fact, I was dismayed. "Midnight," I told her, "is way too far away." And I prayed fervently that it wouldn't take that long. Since I wasn't letting Heather check me, I would randomly reach down and feel for myself. I could definitely feel a head, but it just seemed so far away. I was starting to really feel the urge to bear down and just get her out, though I think most of that was just a desire to be done, not an actual need to push. I just wanted her to be right there, ready to crown. But instead she was at least 2/3rds of my finger length away! Which, looking at my finger now, isn't that far. But it sure seemed like it at the time!

Every time I felt the urge to bear down, I would try to do so with breathing and as relaxed as possible. And every time I'd start to push a little, I'd feel this gush of liquid, and then the urge would be gone. At first I wondered if I was peeing in the tub, which sounded gross, but I didn't really care and it wouldn't surprise me, considering all the water I was drinking. But then I realized that it was probably just more amniotic fluid. That the initial breakage and subsequent leakage didn't get it all out. And that to get the baby out, the fluid had to come out first. This happened several times.

Birth

Everyone focused during crowning.
Poor BJ didn't get to see anything
till they handedher to me.

But the urge was getting stronger every time. I started kneeling up higher. They started to fill the tub up more. I think to raise the water level, since I was getting higher (and in a water birth baby has to stay completely immersed until she's completely out and ready to come out of the water for good.) and to get it warmer, which they failed at because at first they started to put straight cold water in and didn't realize it until I started saying, "Cold!" and when they put a new cold compress on my neck, I eloquently said, "Not that, THAT!" and gestured at the water. They quickly fixed it. But I think it distracted them at just the wrong moment because just then I realized that I was gonna push, no matter what I wanted and did just that. But I knew that they were all distracted with the water, but I also knew that they needed to redirect their attention. So through the push I grunted, "PUSHING!!!!" (and yes, when I recall that word, it is definitely in caps and italics.) At first no one paid me any mind, because pushing usually takes awhile, but they didn't realize that I had been dealing with that urge for awhile. I felt Abby's head come out and reached down to feel it. I felt the Ring of Fire and remembered from a birthing blog that you can reduce tearing by pressing on the side of the head that burns the most to relieve pressure on the perineum. So I did. And then I heard Molly exclaim, "She's crowning!" (Perhaps I should have chosen a better word?) At which point the room exploded in movement. Heather was suddenly directing everyone and leaning over to catch the baby. Everyone else was doing who knows what. I just remember a sudden flurry of activity. Jalin was suddenly right there by the tub. Jessa was up taking pictures. Poor BJ was in front of me and couldn't see a thing. And once the urge to push was gone, I sat there with Abigail's head half out of me, my hand on her head, thinking, "Oh hey, this isn't so bad. I could do this again. Wait… am I really thinking this mid-crown?!" And then the next contraction came and my vocalized breathing became more of a yell as I pushed the rest of her head out and I changed my mind about doing it again. But during that moment between contractions, it really and truly didn't hurt. And it was just magical that I could actually feel her head right there and I wasn't in any pain.

There's Eva on the left!
And me holding my brand new baby.

With Kessa, I remember getting the head out, and the rest was a piece of cake. The rest of her body just slithered out. I don't remember pushing the placenta out. I don't remember any afterbirth contractions. I remember wincing through stitches (Kessa's hand was on her face) but it didn't take long. But maybe that's because I was holding Kessa and admiring her? But then again, I remember when she came out just feeling this huge relief that it was finally over and just being ready to collapse and go to sleep. And when Claudia, my midwife then, told me she was going to pass Kessa through my legs and help me turn over so I could hold her, I remember being slightly surprised. I had forgotten for a moment that I now had a baby. I was so relieved to be done that the relief overwhelmed that instant bond and love I thought I would feel. I held her and loved her, but instead of thinking, "Man, she was worth that," I thought, "Man, I'm so glad that's over. Oh look, a baby!"

So much love. How can you put it into words?

With Abby, her head came out and I remember having to push the rest of her body out. (9:56 pm) It wasn't as intense, but it was still memorable. I remember easily turning over and them handing me to her. And I remember looking at her face and thinking, "This is my baby! We did it! She's here!" I couldn't stop looking at her and kissing her and just loving her. I was so overwhelmed by her spirit that I momentarily forgot labor and thought only of her. It was a beautiful moment.

Mommy and Daddy admiring Abby.

I stayed in the tub just holding and loving Abigail for about 15 minutes or so before they started fussing over my placenta and made me push it out. (But I didn't wanna. I was done with pushing. Turns out, it was easy, though.) And then I started bleeding and they were a little concerned about the amount of blood I was losing, so they gave me this truly awful concoction of apple cider vinegar, honey and cayenne pepper. Ugh. They didn't even warn me what was in it. Just told me to open my mouth and stuck a dropper in. Oh my goodness gracious. I about died. I swear it about burned a hole in my tongue. I gasped for water and drank probably half of my water bottle in one fell swoop. And then they gave me more!!! They were simply not nice in that moment. (Later Eva, who gave it to me, told me that she drinks that every morning with double the cayenne and that she had no sympathy for me. I think she's insane.)

And then I remember afterbirth contractions kicking in. I remember after about 15 minutes in the tub I got out and BJ held Abby while they helped me into bed where I got Abby back and we were covered in towels and blankets. And I remember thinking, "I thought I was done! Why does my tummy still hurt?" And then they reminded me that I was having afterbirth contractions and that they were good, because they'd help shrink my uterus back to its normal size. And that if they hurt, I could treat them like normal contractions and breathe through them. But I didn't want to focus on breathing! I had a baby now! I wanted labor to be done so I could just lay there and stare at her! I really was annoyed at the whole affair. And then I still had to get stitches and it took longer and was more painful than with Kessa. (They think her hand was up by her face. But since she crowned so fast, no one saw for sure.)

But really, when it comes down to a choice of 1) not remembering much of the after-labor stuff, but also not getting that immediate bond and rush of awe and 2) remembering all the after-labor pains and annoyances but also being overwhelmed with amazement and love, I choose the latter.

Checking heart tones while she laid there contentedly

Right after Abby was born, they handed her up to me and I sat back in the tub just holding her (with a towel on her to keep her warm) and loving her. I kept kissing her and talking to her. And the whole time she just laid there with her eyes closed, completely content with the world. It took her 2 full minutes before she ever even made a sound, and that was more of a squawk than a cry. Several people expressed concern over how quiet and calm she was being. (What, aren't babies supposed to cry their lungs out the second they hit air?) But Heather was really chill about it. She just kept checking her heart rate, which was good, and kept saying, "As long as her heart rate is good, I don't care if she cries or not." I loved it. It seemed so fitting. After a relatively calm and relaxed labor, Abigail was born calm and relaxed. I had heard of that happening; that it's common for babies born during a calm labor to be calm themselves. So part of me expected it and part of me glowed with pride over my perfect baby. (Lest you hate me, she has now proven that she has quite the well-developed set of lungs.)

The after stuff

Daddy holding Abby while we all sat
wrapped in towels to keep warm.

They let BJ, Abby and I just lay in bed for quite awhile after she was born. They used that time to clean up. (That's a very common question I get about home births. Who cleans up? In every case I've heard of, it's the midwife and her staff.) They washed all my towels we used. They drained and took down the birthing tub. (And discovered that there was an air leak on the bottom, which meant that by the end of labor, I had had no padding beneath me. I was basically sitting on the carpet with plastic under me.) They prepared after-birth stuff for me, like ice packs, herbal stuff, etc. Carrie sat with me and massaged my legs while we talked and I stared at Abby. (Turns out, afterbirth pains make me tense up and make my legs ache. When she massaged them, it helped me relax through them.)

Cutting the cord, probably an hour or so
after birth.

After probably an hour or so, I agreed to let them do the newborn exam and stitch me up. Oh. did I mention that the cord was still attached the whole time? They had the placenta wrapped in a chux pad on the bed with us. We got to watch them do the placenta exam to make sure it was all in one piece. It was fascinating. Neither BJ nor I even saw my placenta with Kessa. She told us it was a little calcified, but nothing scary. She said it was enough that it was time for baby to come, but not super badly calcified. So Molly and Lisa (Eva had to rush off to another birth down in Springville just after Abigail was born) cut the cord and did their stuff with Abby (weighing, measuring, eye drops, vitamin K, y'know. All that stuff) while Heather stitched me up. Jalin sat on one side of me, supporting my leg while Carrie sat on the other, doing the same. I won't go into details, but I will say that I hate stitches. Honestly, that was the most painful part of labor and the part I will remember as being the worst of the whole ordeal. Goal for next birth? Figure out how to avoid tearing.

She weighed 8 lb. 5 oz.

They helped me get up to change clothes and use the bathroom while BJ had Abby. Carrie and … Jalin, I think? changed the sheets on our bed. (Jessa had gone home by this point.) After all that was over we took some pictures of them with Abby (I'm still sad that we didn't get one with Eva in it) then they gave her back, finished up the last of their packing and they all left right around midnight.

I didn't even have to get out of bed (well, except to go to the bathroom). I just waved them goodbye, then cuddled up to go to sleep. (Though, sleep escaped me because my body was still pumping with adrenaline. I mostly just stared and cuddled with Abby, feeding her whenever she woke up, half sleeping between feedings for the first half of the night, then finally getting real sleep for the last half.) I never had to deal with nurses waking me up to take my vitals. I was able to walk without assistance (it took me 3 days to do that with Kessa). I never had to waddle out to my car with a big bag of stuff, nor have the hospital staff check to make sure our car seat was in our car. I just went to sleep, then woke up to go down into my own kitchen to eat freshly cooked waffles and bacon and eggs. Then I got to sit (well, lay) on my comfortable couches and move around freely whenever I wanted. I had everything I wanted right there. I never had to groan because I wanted something I hadn't thought to pack. I loved it.

So my thoughts on home birth now that it's over? I loved it. I loved never having to drive while in labor. I loved being in the comfort of my own home the whole time. I loved having everyone come to me. It felt much more like everyone was there to support me instead of me going to their workplace. My favorite part was definitely all the support. I feel like labor is one of the few times when a girl is allowed to be totally selfish. And I absolutely loved knowing that all of those people were there for me. That their entire focus was making sure I was as comfortable as possible, and looking out for my and Abby's safety. How can all of that love and support not make a person feel so good? That's what I'm going to remember the most about this birth. Would I do it again? Absolutely.

The End

And as a funny post script (can you do that outside of letters?), guess how long it took BJ to get his laptop out? :)

Ok, ok. It was at least an hour and a half,
maybe even two hours later. And for what it's worth,
I got on my iPod around the same time to announce
the birth to the Facebook world.

Other perspectives

Also, I've asked several of the people who were there to write up their version of the birth story. The more I talk to them, the more I realize we all saw things a little differently. As they come in, I'll post them and link them here. I think it'll be a fun keepsake for Abigail later.

Jalin: posted in three parts during labor for me.

*I've had several people ask me what a birthing ball is and what purpose it serves. Basically it's a giant rubber ball. The same kind you can exercise on. When you sit on it, it promotes good posture, rolling your hips forward. That opens up your pelvis wider and also puts the baby's head directly over the cervix. Gravity and contractions press the baby up against the cervix more directly and speed up dilation and effacement.

Abigail's birth story; part 1

2012-02-04T23:05:00.002-07:00

Disclaimer: I really shouldn't have to give this warning. If you read my blog, you should already know this. But I like details. This will be long. It's being written largely for my records, so I can always refer back to it. I'm trying to include everything I can think of (as concisely as I can). If you don't like long posts, don't read this one. Or the next. (Though, the next will have pictures. Sorry for the lack thereof in this one. :D)

Pregnancy and labor prep

After Kessa's good, but-not-what-I-had-wanted birth, I started to look into birth center births. I looked into the few I could find in Orem, but just didn't love them. Almost by accident I stumbled upon Birthing Your Way and immediately felt good about it. But Kessa was only a few months old, and I was not ready for another baby, so it got filed away. Several months later we started trying to get pregnant again, but to no avail. It took 13 heartbreaking months of wondering what was wrong, and if we would be able to get pregnant again before that wonderful day when the pregnancy test came back positive!

From the very beginning, this pregnancy was different from Kessa's. With Kessa I was remarkably nauseous until about halfway through the second trimester. I remember being excited when I went from throwing up 2-3 times per day to once every 2-3 days. With Abby, I threw up about a dozen times in the first two trimesters. (At one point I was even keeping count, because it was so rare!) Instead I was exhausted. For a few months I was so tired that if I stood up and moved I'd feel like I was about to pass out. So I spent a lot of time laying down, feeling just fine, but knowing if I got up I'd get light-headed. I felt silly just laying there when I felt just fine. The light-headedness eventually passed and turned into simple exhaustion. Climbing a flight of stairs would leave me winded for 5 minutes. I felt so out of shape. Because the two pregnancies were so different, I was convinced this one was a boy. Imagine my surprise when the ultrasound tech assured me that she was, in fact, a girl.

BJ got a new job up in Salt Lake county, so we started looking at buying a house. We wanted to live closer to Point of the Mountain so that both valleys would be accessible for jobs over the next decade or so, as it's common in his field to switch jobs several times in a career. As we didn't know where we would be living, the birth center choice was halted again. Eventually we chose to build in Lehi and I discovered that Birthing Your Way was just as far from me as it had been in Orem. Just in the opposite direction. As another plus, it was only a few minutes from the American Fork hospital, just in case of an emergency transfer. So I went in and met Heather, the midwife there, and when I still felt really good about it, I set up my prenatal care.

We lived in Riverton with BJ's parents for all of my second trimester, plus a little in the first and third while our house was built. At some point in there I started realizing that while I loved the care I was receiving, I didn't actually have a lot of desire to birth at the birthing center. It was still a foreign place, comfort-wise, and if it was during the day, other people would still be there (though separated from me). I didn't love the idea of driving while in labor. I didn't love the idea of having to call someone in the middle of the night to come watch Kessa if I went into labor then. And then either having to drop her off somewhere or waiting for someone to come. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that a home birth would be more comfortable for me. Even if an emergency transfer were necessary, I was still decently close to the hospital. So it was decided.

At the very end of November we moved into our new house. Thank goodness for movers! With our stairs and how exhausted I got (though by that point, I had a little more stamina. I could go two staircases before I got winded! :D) I was very grateful to let someone else move all our boxes. BJ and I spent December and January unpacking, organizing and cleaning. We gathered everything we'd need for the home birth and set it up in our bedroom. I washed and sorted all of our newborn clothes. We prepped Kessa for getting a new baby sister.

But the closer labor came, the more I thought about it, and the more nervous I got. I wasn't nervous about it being at home, mind you, I was nervous about labor itself. I remembered Kessa's labor and how painful it was. It was short, sure (only 2 hours of actual pain!), but I had no warm up contractions, I had Pitocin contractions, and man, it HURT. I was nervous, and almost scared, about going through that again, no matter where the location. I mentioned that to Heather at one of my prenatals and she lent me a HypnoBabies CD with a Fear Release script. That reminded me that I really should review all of my HypnoBirthing books and practice relaxing again. I started listening to Rainbow Relaxation every night. I took a bath listening to the Deepening script (which I thought was the Fear Release, but apparently I was wrong). And most importantly, I started reading my HypnoBirthing book again. The more I read, the more I was reminded about how natural birth is and how it shouldn't be scary. My holistic side was re-centered.

But I couldn't shake the fact that as much as I didn't want it to, and even doing all the same prep and more last time, Kessa's birth really and truly did hurt. As much as I'd love to say it was just a bunch of pressure, it was actually pain. And I couldn't quite convince myself that this one would be any different. Then one day, I had an epiphany. With Kessa's birth, I was scared. It wasn't going at all like I wanted. I was induced 2 weeks early and I wasn't prepared. I hadn't expected an induction. I learned the news by myself while BJ was at a movie. I couldn't even call him to come be with me while they did all the tests. Then I was in the hospital, failing at induction, starving to death, for 22 hours. My tailbone hurt from sitting so much. I was exhausted. I was frustrated. And then I was presented with the option of going home or breaking my water. I wanted to choose going home. I didn't feel like I was ready for labor and my body sure wasn't acting ready, but on the other hand, I was completely spent, mentally, emotionally and physically. I had put everything into preparing for labor for 22 hours. What if I went home for the weekend and came back Monday only to have to do it all again? After much discussion and prayer we decided to go ahead and break my water. But it scared me. Once my water was broken, there was no going back. It had to happen. Which meant my chances for a c-section would increase dramatically. I remember crying. I remember trying frantically to get my emotions under control. With all that fear and stress built up, it's no wonder I couldn't relax through contractions. With the pitocin on top of my contractions, it's no wonder it hurt so bad.

In one swift moment of memory, I realized that although I had had a pain-med free birth, it wasn't the natural birth I had wanted. At all. It also opened the realization that this birth would be different. I knew Heather had very different opinions and if the same situation presented itself, she would handle it differently. Instead of just inducing me, she would try to increase my amniotic fluid first. If that didn't work, she would try to naturally induce me... try to get my body to go into labor on its own instead of forcing it on me. It would be a lot more gentle and a lot less scary. And in that moment, I realized, with excitement, that I really could have my ideal birth. This labor could really be natural. And maybe, just maybe, I could perfect my relaxation techniques to really get through without pain. Or at the very least without the debilitating pain that haunted my memories. And suddenly, instead of being nervous and scared about labor, I was truly excited. That shocked me. I remember telling BJ that I was excited about labor. And that that was weird. I mean, not being scared is one thing, but being excited? That's just not normal. But I was going to run with it anyway and hope it lasted, because I liked that feeling a lot better than my previous nervousness.

Meanwhile, I was being sad that my mom couldn't be there. She was at Kessa's birth, largely by accident. It hadn't been planned, but when she was there when we made the decision to break my water, my dad had the car so it was a choice between having my mommy there or making her sit out in the waiting room. At that point, my modesty didn't care who was there, so I invited her to stay and she did. And turns out, I was glad for her presence. But she couldn't be here for Abby's birth. All growing up my sister had tried to be my second mom. I had resented it at the time, but now that we're grown and friends, I realized that she could, once again, play the part of second mom. I invited her to come, and she excitedly accepted and made plans. But the problem was, she lives 10+ hours away. So even if I called her when labor started, she probably wouldn't get there in time unless I had a really long labor. And if I had a really long labor, she wouldn't be there for support during most of it, when I needed her. As I read my HypnoBirthing book, I was reminded of my longing for a support system like women used to have during birth. When moms and grandmas and sisters and friends were all there to support the mom and help with labor and birth. Like in the play Seven Brides for Seven Brothers when she has her baby upstairs and the boys are all downstairs waiting, but the 6 other girls there were all part of the birth and were running up and down the stairs getting things. But there are always 3 or so that you don't see, and I expect they were all upstairs sitting with the mom, helping her through contractions, massaging her, encouraging her, and just being there. I wanted that, and yet the two people I wanted there most probably wouldn't be able to be there.

Around the same time Heather hosted a luncheon at the birth center. Moms who had birthed with her at the center and at home, two current clients (myself being one of them), a couple of other midwives, three doulas and some staff came. It was a cozy group. I didn't really expect to learn much, but I wanted to be surrounded by people who didn't think I was crazy for having a home birth, if even for just an hour or two. Imagine my surprise when I really did learn something. See, I had heard of doulas before, and only good things. But I hadn't ever considered spending even more money on a doula when I'd have Heather and BJ right there with me. What more could a doula do? And so I asked them, "What does a doula do that a midwife wouldn't?" Mostly because I was curious, not because I was interested. All three doulas gave their two cents on the matter, as did another midwife. The main point was that the midwife was there to make sure everything was running smoothly and to recognize problems and fix them or make the decision to transfer me. In general, births run smoothly and she can be there to support the mom and do counter-pressure and such, but there are times when the health and safety of mom and baby take priority over the comfort and support of mom. And that's where a doula comes in. Her main priority is the comfort of mom. To support her physically and emotionally. One doula even brought up the point that back in the day, birth was a joyous event where a giant support team of women would come to help, support, and celebrate with the mother.

Their words spoke so much peace to my soul. I realized that even though my mom couldn't be there and my sister probably wouldn't, I could still have that support. I realized that even if my mom and sister could be there, they didn't have the experience of a natural birth the way I wanted it. They had both birthed most of their babies naturally, but in a hospital setting, on their backs. They hadn't attended other births or the classes I had been using to prepare. They didn't have the training that I wanted. So while I wanted their support, I also wanted trained support. Guaranteed trained support. That would also free up BJ to be able to focus solely on my emotions and helping me relax. He largely did that with Kessa, but he also had to focus on my physical comfort, too. He had to support me in the tub and pour water on my belly. He applied counter pressure to my hips the entire time I was pushing. Having a doula to do all of that would free him to focus on my mental and emotional needs. So I came home and told him what I learned, what I was feeling, and asked if we could afford it. (Which is funny, because I do the budgeting, not him.) We talked about it and he agreed that it was worth it financially if I wanted that support. So I emailed a couple of doulas to find out what their rates are and ask a few questions. Within a few hours I had talked to one of them, Carrie, on the phone and had a lot of my questions answered and concerns addressed. So we decided to hire her.

So with the comfort of a doula, the peace of mind of having everything ready to go in our room, and the knowledge that this one would be different, I really was excited and ready for labor. It was a wonderful feeling to be excited and anticipate her birth. Up until that point I had firmly declared that I was not yet ready. I had too much to do and I was enjoying getting sleep at night. But after that epiphany, I was able to quickly finish the things I had left to do, and really just be excited. I'm sure that attitude went really far in how labor actually went.

To be continued...

Abigail Pearl Homer

2012-01-27T09:38:00.002-07:00

Abigail Pearl

Jan 26, 2012

9:56 PM

8 lbs 5 oz

21"

It is close - But now Abby is Here!!!

2012-01-26T22:02:00.001-07:00

9:15 -- Heather is now in the room with her watchful eye making sure all is okay. Tianna is now starting to push a little through her contractions. Abby is starting to feel a little lower. Progress! Progress! Progress!

Jessa wanted to know on a scale from 1 to 10, how bad was the pain. Tianna's response, "I am not answering that." Then we tried to make a collaberative attempt at the right wording. Intensity was the decided upon word. With that Tianna's response to the word was this - "IT IS INTENSE!" I think this answers our question, we are hitting the top of the scale. But an onlooker would never know how bad it is because she is still purring through contractions. Sometimes the purring is a little more aggressive, but still a purr.

9:42 -- Tianna just asked if she could give birth in a coma because she is getting so tired. Man she would miss a lot if she did that :) The pressure is getting a lot more intense.

9:53 -- CROWNING!!!!

9:56 -- Abby is here!!!

9:58 -- First Cry!!! She has had a great heart rate - just waited for Abby to really make her voice heard.

10:00 -- Did the first check to make sure the baby was a girl -- IT IS A GIRL!!!

The end is in sight

2012-01-26T20:58:00.001-07:00

8:40 -- Tianna is now in the birthing tub. Leaning against the edge with two massagers now. One for the upper back and shoulders and then the other for the lower back. The best part is listening to her, she sounds like she is purring. A content mother enjoying the miracles of life. She may correct the wording later if she likes, but she does seem content from the onlookers point of view.

Off topic - not only is there a play by play blow her on the blog, but she has her own photographer (Jessa) that is getting the visual coverage of this amazing event.

Another side note - this is the best smelling delivery. These essential oils help with the soothing ambience of the natural birth. As I sit here and type, there are 3 people sitting around making her comfortable. BJ is right there holding her hands with tender words of encouragement. Jessa and I wait for our next chance to do our jobs. Heather is out in the family room with another assistant. All this attention for a special baby that is preparing to make her debut into this world.

8:57 -- and she is starting to get a little more labored in her breathing, but still holding strong.

The start of the baby - Or is it the start

2012-01-26T20:38:00.003-07:00

So now the laptop has been turned over to me (the sister Jalin). The champ (Mom) has been going all day. She did some cleaning, face booking, playing with kids, making food and the typical mom activities. She has been a little tired, but who are we to judge.

Here is the start of the night. Heather ( the mid wife) showed up about 7:00ish. She was acting as if it were a normal day, but with lots of people around. They put a few homeopathic pills under her tongue. Then we moved the party upstairs. At 7:30 she decided to take a potty break, which to her surprise was a new experience. Her water broke and sprayed the bathroom. She came out laughing with a questioning voice "I think my water broke?" We laughed and then agreed.

7:45 -- was the check from Heather. As she is laying there laughing and acting as if it is just an routine visit, Heather declares that she is at an 8 on one side and almost a 9 on the other, Abby was really low. Okay - what is up with that!!!!! At this point, most women are dying and very uncomfortable. Not Tianna, she is making jokes and laughing with the rest of us.

8:00 -- Tianna is receiving a full belly massage of fennel and something else. Heather asked her if she felt a contraction. Can you guess the response? "Was that a contraction, I thought it was just the baby moving."

8:10ish -- She just went to walk around for a bit. She was going to get her shoes and go for a walk outside. Now I know she is crazy!!! She didn't, she just walked around downstairs. Should I reveal that she gets to be like a goldie oldie!!! Sure why not, they gave me the permission to blog. She gets to wear a depends while she is walking.

8:20 -- She is now back upstairs and she is not so lively and animated.

8:28 -- It is to the point she is breathing through contractions. Sitting on the birthing ball, leaning against BJ while the doula gives her a back massage. Soothing music playing in the back ground. Lights down and candles twinkling in the background. How much better could it be for this point in the labor!!!

8:30 -- She just informed us that it is getting to the point that she is starting to feel a small urge to push. Abby's heart beat is sounding wonderful and The Champ is still the champ of labor.

Abigail, part 1

2012-01-26T17:38:00.003-07:00

Remember how we blogged Kessa's birth story all along the way? Well, here we go again with Abigail's!

Yesterday I went in for a routine appointment at my midwife's and decided to get checked. (I had declined last week, but so many people asked me, I figured I should have something to tell them.) Turns out, I was 100% effaced, dilated to a 6, and baby was at a +1. Heather (my midwife) kept saying, "She's just right there!" There were two assistants that asked, "How are you even walking?!" Uhhh… one step at a time? I didn't realize I wasn't supposed to be walking. :D I honestly had no idea that I could possibly be this far along. I had felt a few, what I assumed to be, Braxton-Hicks contractions, and I've been uncomfortable, but having never reached this point in labor before, I just assumed it was all just normal end-of-pregnancy woes. Turns out, they've been productive! Who knew?

I really wanted my sister, Jalin, to be there for this labor, since my mom is gone on her mission, but she lives 10-12 hours away, so it didn't seem likely that she'd be able to actually be there for labor. To make matters worse, her husband is going to be out of town starting next Tuesday and will be gone for a week. So in order for Jalin to come stay with me for a week, I needed to go into labor right away or wait till my due date of Feb. 3rd*.

All things considered, we decided to try a natural induction. This is much different than a medical induction. From what they told me, a natural induction includes some capsules (~~like elderberry or something? I can't recall~~ edited: evening primrose), then an hour-long massage followed by an hour walk. (And of course, it's raining. So I think we'll go walk around the church.) Worst case: my body isn't actually ready and won't do anything, but I'll get an hour massage out of it. Best case, I'll have a baby by morning!

So we're doing that tonight in about 20 minutes. Wish us luck!

*Due date is Feb 2 according to my LMP and Feb 3 according to the ultrasound.

Out of the mouth of Kessa

2012-01-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

Kessa is getting really verbal. And she says some pretty hilarious things. I've been trying to do better about writing them down, so here's a few from the last few days (these are copy/pasted mostly from chats to BJ):

Hah! Kessa is upstairs entertaining herself and I just heard her say, "No whining! I didn't! I didn't!"
Kessa is playing Trainyard (on the iPad) and just exclaimed, "Oh! Holy Night!" Sure, she loves the song Silent Night, but to pull that out as an exclamation? Haha. Cracks me up.
Kessa wants me to come help with a puzzle, so she's been hollering at me, "Mommy, mommy, mommy!" And I keep telling her just a minute, because I'm writing on a facebook wall to answer a question for a friend. Suddenly she says, "Holy night! I want to do this!"
Kessa has had a bad habit of waking up in the middle of the night and coming into our room. So we've started telling her that she can wake up when the sun wakes up. When the sun wakes up, then she can come wake up mommy and daddy. Well, last night she came in, but when BJ got up to take her back to bed, she very easily went back with him and went back to sleep. She knows the drill now, apparently.

This morning BJ got up around 8. I had no reason to get up, so I kept sleeping. Finally, close to 9, I heard Kessa yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" She often does this when she wants me to come or doesn't know where I am. She doesn't stop even when I answer her. So I heard that at a distance and figured she was downstairs with BJ and wanted me to come downstairs. So I took my time getting up, going to the bathroom, etc.

Finally I stumbled out of our room and realized that Kessa's voice was coming from her room. Not from downstairs. So I went into her room and found her sitting in bed, smiling. "Mommy! There you are!"

As I sat down next to her I noticed snow on the ground, so I pointed it out to her. She liked the snow. Then she looked up at the sky and said, "Sun not awake yet?" It was quite cloudy, so I told her, "Oh, it's awake. It's just hiding behind the clouds. Is that why you're still in bed? Because you thought the sun wasn't awake yet?" To which she replied, "Want to make Mommy happy!"

Awwww. Touch my heart. Seriously.
The other day Kessa hollered this down the stairs: "Ok, I'll bring it downstairs so that Mommy will open it. So stay there!"

When did my little baby start talking in full sentences?

36.5 weeks

2012-01-08T15:31:00.002-07:00

People are starting to comment that I haven't posted any pregnancy pictures. Well, that's because I don't have any. With Kessa I took at least one per week (Even though I can't seem to find those pictures). My second baby hasn't even been born yet and already I'm one of those moms. I guess it was inevitable. Anyway, so here I am at 36 weeks and 3 days. Thursday I'll be considered full term. I definitely feel bigger this pregnancy than I did with Kessa. BJ thinks my belly looks like a bell curve in this picture.

And for everyone who missed it in one of my latest really long updates, we plan on naming this baby Abigail Pearl Homer.

And in the spirit of full disclosure, as I've realized there are people I'm quite close to that had no clue about this, I'm also planning a home birth. I haven't really told a lot of people because I know some people freak out about it. And I don't want negativity surrounding this birth. So let's play by the rule here that if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. K? I figure it'll come out eventually, once I post the birth story. And I want to make sure that those people who really care know about it.

*Yes, there is a hospital nearby. Yes, I plan on transferring to a hospital if anything goes wrong during labor or birth. No, I'm not scared about giving birth at home. Yes, I've researched it. Yes, I will have a midwife present. Other questions are welcome, so long as they abide by the being nice rule above.

I feel like every post is entitled Update

2011-12-15T21:09:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been 2 weeks (tomorrow) since the movers brought all our stuff. We've got all except a couple of articles of furniture (stored at BJ's grandparents' house) moved in. We've got probably… 85% of our stuff unpacked. But have you ever noticed it's the last few boxes that are the hardest to unpack? Mostly we're down to office stuff (I hate paper!), crafty stuff (which doesn't really need to be unpacked, but it would be nice to have organized), baby stuff (I am shocked at how much stuff we have in boxes in the nursery. Probably more than almost any other room. And this stuff isn't urgent, but I'd like to have all done by mid-January at the latest so it's ready for the baby to come), and a few random boxes in our bedroom that came from the Homers' (where we've been living). There are a couple of boxes in storage I need to go through, too, as I'm missing a box of Christmas ornaments still. Oh hey, and I need to put up all my Christmas decor. And hang up pictures. Those are still in boxes, too. But really, in the entire scheme of things, that's not very much. It's just hard to convince myself of that when I'm faced with the prospect of unpacking more.

Ok, you don't care about my unpacking woes. I know what you really care about. Kessa. So here's a little bit about what she's up to lately.

Kessa has discovered the carts with cars on front. Unfortunately. Today she discovered a new way to sit in them. (And she almost always has to be holding some grocery item. Hence the chocolate chips. But she's really good at putting whatever she's holding on the belt when we check out, or handing it to the cashier.)

I was worried about leaving all of her toys at Grandma's house, but gaining all "new" toys seem to have taken her mind off of it. They're all toys she had before, but that was over 4 months ago! In her mind, they may as well be new. I'm planning on putting half of them in storage and rotating them after Baby comes, to give her some "new" toys again. To help her feel less left out. (Mom Lovell, doesn't this remind you of my room growing up? Except they would have all (and more!) been on my bed.)

She is fantastic about letting me do her hair. I'm always amazed at how well she'll sit still (ish) while I play with her hair. I now have hope that I might have a chance of learning to do girls' hair! Hopefully she'll keep letting me practice on her! Typically I just do two pigtails, but every once in awhile I'll get a little more fancy. This is the second time I've done this one (with much better results) and it lasted only the morning. When she went down for her nap, she made me take it out. Resulting in really, really crazy hair later. But she's a pro at crazy hair, so it wasn't anything new. I'm just sad that I'm the only one that got to see it in real life.

She really is my girl in so many ways. First the love with the stuffed animals. Then her love of blankets. When I unpacked the blankets, she pulled as many as she could into a pile, the cuddled up inside of them. And she knows they're her blankets, too. "Dat Sessa's blanket!"

Kessa has really gotten into singing. Her favorite is probably Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star. She's got most of the words down pat. Though, every once in awhile she says, "Up above the water so high" which cracks me up. She's also getting good at singing along with Teach Me to Walk in the Light, I am a Child of God, and I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus since those are her bedtime songs. BJ decided it would be fun to see if he could get her to pick up on the words to Silent Night this month, so he's started singing that to her at bedtime, too. Apparently it's working, because the other day I listened to this (what you hear on the video) over and over again for probably a full half an hour. And if she ever hears the song (which is often, as I like to listen to Christmas music) or is in any way reminded of it, she'll start again. Repeatedly. It's great.

In non-picture/video documented news, she also:

is working on potty training (all her idea, I assure you!) She has only had 2 successes in the past week (both yesterday) but I'm only half-heartedly working on it. We're going on a week and a half vacation soon and I've had a cold the last couple of weeks, and I'm pregnant. So I haven't really had the energy to push it. I figure after Christmas we can work harder on it. But my favorite part is that no matter who goes to the bathroom, even if she's across the house, she'll yell, "Wash your hands!" She's very, very insistent about it, too.
loves watching the workers build the house next door. We've put a chair up to the window so she can climb up and just watch them for ages. She thinks it's great.
is finally getting the hang of nap time again. We gave her a toddler bed when we moved in (and put the dismantled crib in the nursery—out of sight, out of mind) and because everything was new and because she could get out by herself, nap time pretty much went out the window. It took almost a week, but we finally are getting nap time reestablished. This is resulting in a much happier toddler and mommy in the afternoons/evenings.
Speaking of sleeping, night time was fun for a few days, too. Her getting up an hour after we put her down and trying to sneak around before we catch her. Or the one morning when BJ got up early, went downstairs, and found her asleep on the couch. Luckily night time has been better and easier than nap time. Now she just wakes up before us and comes and stands or lays in our doorway until one of us wakes up and notices her.
can talk a storm. She ends most questions with "huh?" (Like, "Where daddy at, huh?") One of her favorite phrases is, "That would be fun!" I want to know where she picked up the concept of "would be".
has a great memory. She'll remember that Daddy is at work. One time we were going to go play with a friend, Katya, at Jump on It, but she didn't take a nap, so we didn't go. The next time we had plans to go see Katya, she said, "Tatya? Jump?" This was probably close to a month later.
has much better balance. Today I watched her climb onto my exercise bike, then climb down by herself. Not many months ago I would have either rushed to help her or sat there biting my nails, praying she didn't fall. Today I watched from across the room saying, "Hurry! We still need to get your shoes before we go to the store."
loves to be my big helper. She'll even tell me, "I big helper!" She'll put her dishes in the sink or dishwasher after meals. She loves to help me do laundry (yay for front loading washer and dryer) and is even learning how to fold towels. I'll ask her to put her shoes in the closet and she'll yell, "Oh! Ok!" and run to do it. That doesn't mean she does everything I ask. (Hahahaha. Yeah right.) But in general, she really is my big helper.
is super excited for the new baby. We're pretty sure we're actually going to name the baby Abigail Pearl (I told you the name was subject to change) (you like how I always announce these things at the bottom of super-long posts?) and Kessa is excited for Abby to come. Her new favorite thing is to kneel on my lap, facing me, putting both hands on my belly and saying, "Come out, Abby! Come out!" She really wants to hold her hand, give her hugs and kisses, and give her high-fives. (She already does all of that, minus holding her hand, but to my belly. High-fives to my belly can be a little dangerous.) She's very excited to help change her diaper, be soft with her, play with her, and even share with her. I'm really hoping her excitement lasts and that I'll be able to share my attention sufficiently that she doesn't get jealous. Here's to hoping!

And with that… I think I'll be done tonight.

Housing Update 11/12

2011-11-12T22:11:00.001-07:00

18 more days until move-in day!

So, this is actually an update from both Thursday and today (Saturday). It is so close to being done. I'm having a hard time figuring out what's left to do. I know they need to put on the closet doors and touch-up the paint. And add the railing on the front stairs. They need to wait for the concrete to cure (maybe that'll take the next week?) And they need to clean. But other than that, seriously, I'm having a hard time figure it out. But I'm sure there is something else to do and they aren't just making us wait for kicks and giggles. :)

Here is a non-blurry picture of our 5-burner gas range/stovetop/cooktop!!!

(I told you I was excited about it.)

The island, complete with drawers and cupboards.

(No, it's not granite. Just looks like it.)

We have carpet!!! [squeal!]

Damian looked at it today. It doesn't hold up to his high standards (what do you expect, carpet is his life) and gave us a few tips of things to make them fix, but for the money, it's good.

And I promised to consult him whenever we upgrade.

The chandelier above the dining room table.

This is the half-bath on the main floor. We have toilets and sinks! Also, see that toilet paper roll holder? I am so going to make them move that. It's ridiculous how close it is to the toilet. Like, mere inches. Moving it forward 6" would make all the difference in the world. Easy reach instead of twisting clear around. Also, lower the chance of the toilet paper roll actually brushing against bare skin. I mean, really? (Ok, I am not a very picky person about most things. But apparently I have definite opinions about toilet paper roll holders.)

Maybe this isn't the best order, but I'm too lazy to change it.

Because our house is so tall, they put a tiered rock wall around our front porch. This is the top view. I plan on putting in a rock garden full of low water plants.

I'm dreaming of a succulent garden.

The kids' bathroom upstairs. (This toilet paper roll holder (not pictured) is acceptable. In case you had a burning desire to know.) I love the built-in shelves in the tub. I'm kind of jealous, actually. My shower only has one built-in shelf.

Laundry room

They've even installed the water heater!

Our shower is now installed. As well as the tub hardware.

This is the view from the bedroom.

Getting blinds on that window will be a top priority.

Tub and shower as viewed from the walk-in closet.

Which, come to think of it, we've never taken a picture of.

Master bathroom sinks and counters and lights.

View from bedroom door. The open door directly across is the toilet room (yes, the toilet paper roll holder is horrible in here too). The half-open door to the right in the mirror is the closet.

Our back porch.

Or rather, the right half of it as seen through the sliding glass door in the kitchen.

View from the front of the house. See? The stairs aren't nearly as daunting with those rocks there. I like it. (Also, they'll put a railing in on the driveway side of the stairs.)

From straight on. (The driveway is poured, it's just covered by a concrete blanket (Damian, did I get the technical term right?) because it's getting really cold here.

View of the back porch. I don't think they stain it.

We may have to do that. Someday.

Go ahead. Be jealous of us.

Housing update 11/4/11

2011-11-10T16:32:00.001-07:00

This is about a week late. Sorry! Hopefully more pictures to come in a day or two.

Look!!! We have a kitchen! With cabinets! And an island!

And a sink! And a dishwasher! Wooooo!!!!!!!

And the cabinets continue! Over the double oven!!!

Yay for a double oven!!!

Let's swing back over to the other side for a second. I forgot to get excited about the microwave!

And what's that down there? The stove top*?

Please excuse the blurry photo. It's probably blurry because BJ was laughing at me while he was taking this picture. BECAUSE I WAS FREAKING OUT OVER THE FACT THAT OUR GAS RANGE HAS FIVE BURNERS!!! I had no idea about this brilliance that is to be mine. It was a complete surprise. And it is ridiculously exciting to me. You have no idea.

Ok, moving on. Upstairs we also have cabinets in our master bath! And sinks! And lights! Did I mention that we actually have lights throughout the house, and they work? Hooray! Because now that it's getting dark earlier, we can still go see the house in the evenings.

See? Cabinets!

We also have toilets. And a back deck. (BJ, how did we not get a picture of the back deck?) That was a drama, because the stairs went the wrong way! And I wasn't happy about it. But then we talked about it a lot, and I decided that maybe the stairs going the way they are would be better. So we decided not to make them fix it. We also have the washer drain pan in. And the drain cut down to be level with the floor.

It's so exciting!!!

And hopefully we'll be going down again tonight or maybe tomorrow, so we'll get new updated pictures up here soon. Weeee!

*Poll time. Do you call it a stove top? A stove? A range? Something else?

Please, help settle a disagreement here. Tell us your opinion in the comments.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-02T12:16:00.001-06:00

This is Kessa's first real Halloween. She dressed up for the other two, but really just stayed in the house, maybe wearing her costume for an hour, then sleeping through trick-or-treating. What can I say? BJ and I aren't big Halloween-ers, so without the kid wanting it, we just didn't do it. (Both of her costumes before this year were given to her.) This year we were living with BJ's parents, which meant we got a lot more pressure from Teresa, plus Kessa was old enough to enjoy it this year, so we did it. Since Papa Homer's goal this summer was to turn Kessa into a cowgirl, I thought it would be a perfect costume. Teresa thought she needed cowgirl boots months ago anyway, so Mama Homer bought her some pink ones (at Teresa's insistence). The denim leggings (jeggings, I think they're called?) and the shirt she's wearing in the first pictures came together (even though you can't see them for the coat) and the cowgirl hat is borrowed from a neighbor in the ward. (Kessa refused to try on any cowgirl hats in any stores, so there was simply no way I was paying $20ish for a hat I didn't think she'd wear. But then a neighbor lent us hers, and since we were all wearing hats the first night, she happily wore hers too. So yay!)

Neighborhood Halloween Party

Here's Kessa and I to prove that I did, in fact, dress up. Costume thanks to the Homer's stash and Teresa's insistence that we dress up. :)

Closer-up of Kessa. Sorry for the graininess. These were all taken on BJ's iPod Touch.

Ok, maybe Kessa still didn't want to wear the hat at first. So Daddy wore it on top of his hat. Y'know, to make it cool. It worked. She wore it after that.

At the party Kessa went straight for the blow up toys. Here's a video of her trying to get through the obstacle course (at least part of it). There was also a giant blow-up Twister game that she liked bouncing on. So, in other words, the second we got there, her boots and hat came off. So she didn't really look like she had a costume on. :)

Trick-or-treating Practice

Unfortunately, we don't have any pictures or videos of this. Use your imagination. Since Kessa had never done any trick-or-treating, we decided to practice with her that morning. BJ hid in the pantry and I helped Kessa knock and say "Trick or treat!" Then BJ gave her an animal cracker. Her eyes lit up and I helped her say "Thank you". So we closed the door and did it again, this time with much less prodding. She loved it. It definitely helped later.

Halloween at Daddy's work

BJ's work has an unofficial mascot of a panda bear. So someone there dressed up as one and wandered the area, giving kids high-5s and such. Kessa loved him. The second she saw him she yelled, "Panda Bear!" Then despite her usual shyness, she ran up to him, gave him a high-5, knuckles, and a hug. It was adorable. As we walked around trick-or-treating in the various departments (which she did very well at, if still quietly and usually with prodding) she'd look around for the panda. If she couldn't see him, she'd ask, "Where panda, huh?" So finally I decided we needed a picture of her with the panda. So immediately she got shy. The first picture is of me trying to encourage her to go over and stand next to the panda. Once she finally did, she was happy, though.

I love that when we tell her to smile for a picture, her smile looks real, not like some cheese-job. Hopefully that stays as she grows up. [crosses fingers]

Oh, and as a side note, Dum-dums are officially her candy of choice. If there were ever any dum-dums in the bowl of candy she was choosing from, she immediately went for them. Even if there was also chocolate! Mommy was very disappointed. Kessa ended up eating 4 dum-dums in the course of 2 hours that day. It was only due to BJ's creativity at the dinner table (this bite's for the panda!) that she even ate any dinner. She also got a full-sized box of Junior Mints, but Mommy confiscated them almost the second we got back into the car. As a taxi fee. :D

Halloween Night

Oh look! Her jacket is open! You can see her shirt. (She actually had 3 options to choose from.)

"Where's the candy?"

"Outside? I'm outta here!"

Teresa (an Indian) and her friend, Alexis (a cowgirl) took Kessa trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. (Oh why, oh why didn't I get a picture of them together?! Teresa chose her costume based on Kessa's! [sigh]) Two other of Teresa's friends showed up at the end, then Papa took them all over (all the girls and BJ) to visit Nana at the rehab center and show off their costumes. (Again, not pictured, sadly).

Kessa got to bed much later than normal, and on much more of a sugar-high than ever before, but she loved it. And two days later, she seems to have completely forgotten that she has a stash of candy in the pantry. I am ok with that. :D

Clean up, clean up

2011-10-28T19:27:00.001-06:00

Kessa is becoming quite the good little helper. I mentioned in the giant update of death that I am a horrible mother and give Kessa chores. Well, this is partially due to her love of helping me. Most of the time she happily takes her diaper to the garbage and clears off her place at the table. Sometimes she'll volunteer to start setting the table (though she needs assistance with that) or will come back for more dishes when she's done taking hers to the dishwasher. More than once I've left the room while she's eating something only to come back to find her putting her plate in the dishwasher. (Usually taking up as much room as possible.)

You know the clean up song? "Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere? Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share." Kessa loves it. It's not uncommon for her to just start cleaning something up then sing, "Keenup, Keenup, evybody, share!" Or if I'll sing, I'll leave off the last word and let her sing it. She's pretty darn good at it, too.

She has loved helping with the laundry for a long time now. Back at our house she loved loading, transferring and unloading the washer and dryer. It's harder to do here where they have a top-loading washer, but she still loves to sit on the dryer and put the clothes in the washer that I hand her, or pull clothes out of the dryer and put them into a hamper. She's even been known to help me sort clothes when I'm putting them away by pulling all of hers out, or by shouting out the names of the owners as I hang up shirts ("Daddy shirt! Mommy shirt! Daddy shirt! Kessa shirt!")

She went above and beyond the other day, though. I found a pile of cleaning rags waiting to be folded on a chair, so I started to fold them. Kessa immediately wanted to be involved. I handed her one, expecting her to be more destructive than helpful, but ended up being quite surprised as she listened to my instructions and watched as I folded the towels, and soon was doing a surprisingly good job folding towels on her own. She had folded probably 6-8 on her own before I pulled out the camera, which of course meant that she was about done. She stumbled a little in the video, but I am still impressed at how well she did at the age of 2 1/3.

They say it happens in three's

2011-10-28T16:43:00.000-06:00

October 13th was a rather … eventful… day. It started out well enough. Kessa and I played happily all morning. She went down for a nap and I left her with Mama Homer while I headed down to Provo. First I picked up my camera at a ropes course we attended a month prior. Apparently having two cameras makes me not worry so much when I don't see my camera at all for a month. Then I stopped by my friend, Bonnie's, house for a quick minute to say hi. Then I went to Joanns and bought some yarn and crochet hooks to make my nephew an adorable football hat (that apparently I never took a picture of). Then I headed off to Allred's Orchards to buy some apples to can some apple pie filling, because I was completely out.

And that's when it all started.

1. I bought the apples and went to put them in the trunk of my mother-in-law's car. (My car is still dead from the alien invasion, so I borrow their car whenever I need to run errands.) I turned the key, without any extra pressure at all, when suddenly, the keyless entry portion was still in my hand while the key was still in the trunk. I was dumbfounded. I got the apples in the trunk, then called BJ, "I, uh… just broke your mom's car key." To make matters even better, I couldn't start the car with just the key portion. It took me awhile to figure out, but apparently both portions are needed to start the car. So I had to put them back together and hold both halves while turning it. Great fun indeed. Needless to say, I skipped the rest of my errands and drove straight to Trav's to make apple pie filling. My one consolation was that I remembered hearing a random conversation between Carol and John a week or so before where he was asking about some keys and if she knew they were cracked. So I crossed my fingers that these were the same keys.

2. Travis wasn't home yet, so I stuck on my apron, turned Harry Potter on my iPod and stuck it in the pocket, and started slicing apples. After awhile I decided I needed to make the sauce to pour over top, so I bent over to grab a pot from the cupboard. Immediately my iPod slid out of my apron pocket and hit the tile floor, face down. I was immediately sick. I didn't want to turn it over. But I did anyway. And saw my screen was shattered. I went straight to the computer and chatted at BJ, almost disbelieving that I had broken two expensive items in the course of an hour. Travis came home then, and up to that point I had been in control emotionally. But when I actually saw another human face and held up my iPod, I burst into tears, sobbing, "I'm not crying! I'm pregnant!"

3. Well, I eventually calmed down, we turned on Harry Potter in Trav's office, then went back to canning. I sat there peeling, coring and slicing apples, minding my own business while Travis went outside to pick some tomatoes. (We were also canning spaghetti sauce.) He walked in just in time for me to hold up my recently-sliced finger and ask, "So, do you have any bandaids?" Turns out, that peeler/slicer/corer gadget is sharp!

In good news, two days later the Homers had a new key (it had, in fact, been cracked. So I was just the unlucky fool to be using it at the wrong time), the wonderful man at the Apple Store gave me a brand new iPod for free (after my sob story and telling him that I really didn't want to spend $150 fixing it when we wanted to upgrade to iPhones anyway in February when our T-Mobile contract expired) and my finger had healed enough to remove the bandaid. So apparently bad things happen in 3's, but they can all become good things in 3's, too.

Temple Square

2011-10-28T16:11:00.002-06:00

We had Regional Conference last Sunday and our stake was one of 20 invited to go to the Conference Center to watch it. Kessa did fantastic with a collection of books, paper, crayons and dolls. (She did just as fantastic during the Saturday evening session the night before.) I am quite impressed with her ability to stay quiet during church meetings. Her ability to stay still? Not so much. But quiet? Yes. For the most part.

Kessa was enamored by the waterfall outside the Conference Center. Can I blame her? Not really. She's my daughter after all. We decided to get a family picture in front of the waterfall. Unfortunately we were staring directly into the sun, so our faces are a little shadowed and squinty. Please forgive us. (Baby 2.0 not pictured)

On our way back to the car, we walked through Temple Square. While Papa and Mama Homer visited with some people they knew, we took pictures of Kessa in front of the temple. I love the top one where she's peering off into who-knows-what and the bottom one has the most adorable smile.

Also, notice that she actually has enough hair for pigtails now! And she does a fantastic job of holding still (enough) while I put them in her hair. She started the day with bows in her pigtails, too, but for some reason, she doesn't ever let those stay more than an hour or two.

Falling

2011-10-28T16:03:00.000-06:00

Teresa and her friend Alexis raked up some leaves yesterday to let Kessa play in the pile. She had a blast! Here is their story, in pictures:

Kessa: Look Mommy! I'm covered in leaves!

Teresa: Kessa! Let's bury Alexis in leaves!

Alexis: Well, gee, Kessa, that was fun (sarcasm), why don't we do the same thing to Teresa?

Kessa: Well, I do have this giant pile of leaves here [giggle]

Revenge!!!! Bwahahaha

Rings

2011-10-28T15:56:00.000-06:00

Kessa has figured out rings. Mama Homer has about a billion of these balls, and many of them have loops where you can stick your finger through. So I taught her to put them on her finger and wear them like rings. Now anything she can put on her fingers she'll proudly display as a ring.

Mini (hahaha) update

2011-10-28T15:03:00.001-06:00

Note: I wrote this weeks ago and never posted it because I wanted to add pictures, but just couldn't bring myself to find all the pictures. So, sorry, but it's a text-only update. Pictures to come in future posts.

Well, I keep getting into trouble for not blogging (I admit, I have been a slacker recently) so today I will give you a "mini"-update (as mini as I can get, anyway) on each of us and life in general. Hopefully someday I'll actually catch up.

Life in general
Our house in Lehi is currently being built (post with pictures to come… someday) so we're living with BJ's wonderful family in Riverton. Thanks to their generosity we're being able to save up for a good down payment and everything that we'll need to buy to get settled once we move in. My car is still broken, thanks to the mustard aliens, but it's much, much easier to get by with one car while living here. BJ and I are currently Sunbeams teachers. We have anywhere from 1-3 kids (but usually 2) and it's really fun. It's great to have a legit snack time and go on a walk around the church every week.

Kessa
Kessa is now 2 years and 3.5 months old. She can talk up a storm and her language skills are developing like crazy. She's loving Nursery and is even excited when we wake her up early from her nap. "Church!? Nursery?!" Here's to hoping that she'll always be that excited about going to church.

Kessa is obsessed with Asleep and Awake. She'll put all her toys to sleep, then make them wake up. Over and over and over again. At nursery this past Sunday she got all the dolls out, laid them all down and covered them with a blanket, making sure their toes were covered, to put them to sleep.

She is a huge tease. Especially to Jax (the Homer's dog). Jax has a ball that he loves to chase. She loves to get it and put it somewhere just out of his reach. Often she'll run with it on her head to keep it out of his reach so she can get to somewhere to hide it. (Which has led to a couple of instances of him stepping in front of her and her tripping over him. Which is largely hilarious to me because she totally deserves it and we've warned her.)

She finally has hair! It's blonde and curly. And crazy all over the place. But it's really nice to to just be able to get it wet, brush it, and scrunch it to make it look nice. But her teasing nature has caused her problems with her hair. Remember her holding Jax's ball on her head? Well the other day BJ's cousin was visiting with her two kids and they had a car that would drive on it's own (just move a switch and the wheels turn on their own). Well, Ashton (about a year older than Kessa) wanted to play with the car and Kessa had it, so Kessa put it on her head. We now have a big chunk of hair in an envelope to remember how long her hair is. And I'll be honest, I think it must have ripped out the longest chunk of hair she has, because I still can't fathom where it came from. Her hair isn't that long.

She's still incredibly easy to put to bed. (Though we've definitely had phases where it wasn't. Usually when we're in transition between new bedrooms, though.) And it's adorable now because her crib has a bunch of stuffed animals in it and she'll talk to them and put them all to sleep and sing. And we can hear it all through the monitor (we sleep 2 floors below her right now). And it's adorable.

She's also a really, really good eater. She eats pretty much everything we put in front of her. And if there's anything she doesn't want to try, Grandpa (Papa) just takes a bite and asks her if she'd like to eat it with him. Which she always does. Her favorite foods are olives and black beans and cherry tomatoes. She's starting to really like broccoli, too. Oh, and carrots. Seriously, how did I get so lucky to have this child? BJ may deserve her (he's never been picky) but I sure don't. I was the pickiest eater as a child. (Luckily I grew out of it.) She does love her sweets, though. "Ah cream" means both ice cream and whipped cream and she insists on one or the other every time she eats something sweet. She thinks "snack" means "fruit snack" so I have to be really careful when asking her if she wants something to eat. Because usually we don't have fruit snacks. Though every once in awhile when I slip I can get her to eat dried cherries or apricots because they're fruit and they're gummy kind of like fruit snacks. Hahaha.

She's on this kick lately where she'll go around and point to people's noses and tell them they have big noses. It's hilarious and slightly embarrassing at the same time.

Her coordination is getting really good. She can build towers out of blocks without any help. She's got shape-sorters down pat. She loves to grab onto anything taller than her and swing. Or lean over a table or chair and "fly". She'll climb on anything she can. She loves to perch on the back of couches, which always makes me a bit nervous. She loves to "Ruuuuuuuun!!!!!" and is much better about not falling flat on her face when she does so.

She responds well to bribery. I often get her to do things by telling her what we'll get to do when we're done. "You can have another scoop of peas if you finish your chicken first." (Yes, I bribe my child with peas.) If Kessa has a picky side, it's with meat. She often needs a little bit of coaxing to eat it. Though, we had tilapia last night and she scarfed it down and asked for more. We also get diaper changes over with by bribing her with playing with a toy or daddy will pick her up and "fly" her or we can go outside for a walk after her diaper is changed. She LOVES outside. She'll do almost anything to go outside. I definitely use this to my advantage. I am not ashamed to bribe my child. :D

Speaking of diapers, she's starting to show signs of potty training. I'm a little worried about this, mostly because I don't want to do it at someone else's house where there are three flights of stairs and 4 different bathrooms. Especially when walking up one flight of stairs tires me out. But she loves to go into the bathroom and sit on her potty (we have one downstairs). And she'll (sometimes) tell me if her diaper is wet or stinky. And I've convinced her that wet/stinky diapers hurt and new diapers feel all better. So it's a very common thing during a diaper change for Kessa to point to her bum and say, "Hurt" then point to the new diaper and say, "Ahh bettah." Cracks me up.

She can count to 12 on her own, but she often stumbles over 7. She'll go from 6 straight to 9. But if I remind her about 7, she'll get all of them. And sometimes she'll get them all right. We started counting the stairs as we climbed them several times a day. There are 16. She's great till 12, but the -teens get her. So after 12 it's all "ah-teen". Lately she's started vetoing the counting. (Probably because it often happens on the way to bed and she's hoping that by disrupting routine she won't have to go to bed?) So one time BJ was taking her upstairs and started counting and she protested, so being silly he started naming off fruit instead. Now she insists that he does that every time. He's started being creative. Last time I heard him use a pluot. Which cracked me up. (Love those, btw.)

Kessa and I were walking up the stairs today. I had asked her if we should make a smoothie when we got upstairs and she said yes, so I wasn't surprised when halfway up the stairs she started saying, "Want food!" Turns out, though, she wanted me to count fruit up the stairs. But I never caught on. So she gave up on me and the last few steps she said fruits. "Apple, orange, banana."

Her sneezes of late tend to end with a ppbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpb, like she's blowing a raspberry. I love it.

She can recognize most basic animals and say what sounds they make. She knows the signs for many of them, though she's forgetting a lot of her ASL because we just don't watch as much TV around here as we did at home. (Probably because I have more help here.) So we've been practicing them more and she's picking them up quite quickly. She knows her colors really well, too.

She LOVES to color. She uses whatever she can find. Crayons, colored pencils, gel pens, regular pens, coloring books, scrap paper, post it notes. We're getting the idea across that she can only draw on paper. Not tables, chairs, skin, etc. It's slowly sinking in. Today she was sitting on my lap drawing on post it notes with pen while I read emails and accidentally drew on the desk. So I grabbed a wipe and she cleaned it up. She later drew on my arm and she said, "Sorry, wash it." Then she washed it off with the wipe. And later again on the desk. She's getting really good at saying sorry (she'll even say it to toys and furniture when she drops them or bonks them) and cleaning up messes. Which is super nice.

Teresa (BJ's sister) is horrified because Kessa has chores. Mostly it's just throwing away wet diapers, but I'll often have her wash her hands, face and table when she's done eating and here and there I'll remember to have her take her dish to the sink. But Kessa is good at it and rarely complains, so I'll keep at it. She's also great at helping with the laundry if she's around when I'm doing it. (Though it's harder right now since the Homers have a top-loading washer, so Kessa can't move the clothes easily.)

Overall, the terrible-twos haven't really been all that terrible. Oh, sure. She's becoming independent and has to do everything herself. "My turn!" And sometimes she is just willful and won't do what we say. But most of the time we let her do what she wants to do and find ways to distract/bribe her when she's being super stubborn. I guess it was just a matter of learning to work with her change of attitude instead of working against it. It helps to just remember that she's just a kid. And that she should be allowed to be just a kid. It helps me keep my cool when she's testing my limits. :)

BJ
BJ is loving his new job at Instructure. The work itself he likes about as much as he did at Mozy, but for different reasons. And he loves working with his current co-workers a lot. Apparently BJ is boring, because neither of us can add anything else to his update. ;)

Tianna
I'm now 21 weeks pregnant. We had an ultrasound last week and found out we're having a girl! (In case you missed the picture announcement.) I'll admit, I'm a little surprised. This pregnancy has been different I was convinced it would be a boy. I haven't been nauseated hardly at all. (I've only thrown up 12 times! Yes, it's so odd that it was easy to keep count.) Mostly I've just been really tired and sleeping easily 10-12 hours per day. Sometimes more. Luckily the last week or so I've done a lot better about waking up on my own around 7 or 8. (That doesn't mean I get out of bed right away, but it's nice waking up on my own instead of being dragged out of bed because BJ is going to work and I have to watch Kessa.)

I've been working really hard on self-improvement (I get in these phases sometimes) and have started a scripture blog where I'm marking attributes of Christ and trying to compare the stereotypical OT and NT God. If anyone wants to join with me, I appreciate feedback. I post one chapter per day and am currently at the beginning of the Book of Mormon.

Kate
We've decided to name the new baby Katelyn Pearl Homer. Well, we're pretty sure that's her name, anyway. Pearl we're pretty set on (it's my mom's middle name) and Katelyn was chosen when I was pregnant with Kessa. But the spelling is open for change. And we reserve the right to change the name itself if we so decide. But we're pretty sure that'll be her name.

We've been trying to help Kessa get used to the idea of having a new baby sister. We point out babies everywhere we go. We encourage her to rock her dolls. If I ask her where Mommy's baby is, she'll point to my tummy. If I ask her what the baby's name is, 3% of the time she'll say Kate, 7% of the time she won't respond and 90% of the time she'll say Cake. Hmm… maybe she has more of a sweet tooth than I thought? :)

Note: Since writing this, we're no longer 100% sure about the name Katelyn. But the part about Kessa calling her Cake was too cute to take out. We'll post an announcement when we know for sure, for sure what we're going to name her. And then we'll probably change our minds again when she's born and we see her face. ;)

Backdates

2011-10-28T14:55:00.002-06:00

Ok, friends. I'm way behind in blogging. Way behind. But I'm too overwhelmed with it to go back and catch up. So I'm going to start with a huge update that I wrote awhile ago (sorry, with no pictures. It's too overwhelming to find them) and then just start from today and work backwards. And who knows how many I'll post per day. So… sorry for the deluge… or the drought… that is sure to come. :D

Another house update

2011-10-28T14:31:00.002-06:00

Well, our house is a month from being move-in ready. 1 month! This is getting exciting. And now, because I know that you've all been waiting on tenterhooks, just like we have (hahahaha… sure you have) I give you… pictures!

October 22, 2011

They're starting the stucco!

They've laid the vinyl in the kitchen, entry, and bathrooms!

Oooh! Texture on the ceiling! But no paint yet.

They've been mudding and sanding the walls, too!

And they put in pillars on our front porch!

Did I mention that our garage is super tall? Because we've got the daylight basement, the garage covers most of the basement and the first floor. We're talking about adding a floor above the garage door and using it for storage or a fort or something. I mean, seriously. Look at how much room there is over the garage door!

October 26, 2011

I stopped by on my way home from a midwife appointment (baby looks great, btw!) and there were workers swarming EVERYWHERE (you can see one in the garage) so I didn't go inside. But I was thrilled anyway because the stucco was on! [squeal!]

October 27, 2011

There are shelves in the pantry and all the closets! Also, they've painted all the walls and baseboards and installed all the doors! (Well, apparently not all, because we found some in the basement, but by the time we realized that, we were in a hurry to leave (ok, I was in a hurry to leave. I was hungry!) and didn't want to comb the house trying to figure out where there were missing doors.) Also, to note (esp. for Jessa): the paint isn't that dark. It's about that color, but not that dark. The coloring in the picture is just off.

They've painted the ceilings, too!

Ok, so, did I mention that our front door is SO TALL?! Didn't believe me from previous pictures? Well, let's give you something to compare it to. BJ is 6'1". Doesn't he look like a little toy doll here? IT'S SO TALL! No stairs yet, though.

And the front! Look! There is rock on it now! Doesn't it look so pretty?! I'll be glad when the cement on the porch is covered in rock and there are stairs. And a driveway. And a garage door. And shutters. But dude, I am so excited right now anyway. It looks like a real house! THIS IS EXCITING!

Please?

2011-10-17T21:28:00.000-06:00

We've been teaching Kessa to say "please" lately. She's figured out what "can you ask nicely?" means, and she knows that if she says "please," she can sometimes get things she wouldn't otherwise get. Hooray!

Well, this last weekend we took a trip up to Idaho for our nephew's baby blessing. On the way up, Kessa had been snacking on goldfish crackers and potato chips, and we decided she'd had enough. Kessa asked for more, and we told her she was all done. She was NOT pleased with that, and started whining.

"Cahkers"

"No, Kessa. We're all done with crackers."

"CAHKERS!!!"

"No, Kessa. No crackers."

"<whine> Cahkers, pwease?"

"I'm sorry, Kessa. No more crackers until after your nap."

"<whine whine whine>"

"Kessa, no whining. I know you want crackers, but you can't whine."

"I want whine."

"No, Kessa. We don't whine."

" ... I want whine, pwease."

What do you say to that? Really, does life get any more adorable?

My day in a nutshell

2011-10-13T22:33:00.002-06:00

My mother-in-law's keys, my iPod touch, my finger.

I think I'm going to bed now.

A very non-edited house update

2011-09-28T15:35:00.002-06:00

I took pictures of our house today! It's looking so … house-ish! It's exciting. And BJ wants to see the pictures and I'm on my way out again, so here are all the pictures without commentary. (Except please take note how tall our front door is. See the ladder up front to get there? Or if you'd rather, count the stairs in the garage to get to the main floor.) Also notice how short our window wells are going to be. (All inside pictures were taken through the window wells in the back.) Ok, end of commentary. Enjoy!

Announcement!

2011-09-20T21:07:00.000-06:00